Nadia’s Wishing Box

Last night was a lovely evening with MasterDoc. I had been grumpy up until that point – the overstimulation and crowds of Costco put me in a bad mood during the afternoon. But as usual, once I was in my collar, submitting and getting some cock I became much calmer and happier.

We cuddled for a bit while MasterDoc talked on the phone to another Dom who is bringing his sub over for a sybian ride this weekend. It sounds like the two of them are cooking up lots of interesting things – I will sadly be at work when they come over this time, but perhaps next time or if they stay long enough I will be a part of it. I’m a little hesitant that I’m being told that the other woman has never been with a woman and her Dom thinks it’s about time – it’s really not fun being someone’s first woman if they’re not into it. She may very well be into it, or it could be totally painful. I will have to wait and see. Of course, this is painful simply because I will have to be the aggressor and we all know I suck at that. I’d much rather be with an experienced woman who takes control.

After he got off the phone, MasterDoc had me suck his cock for a while. I loved having it in my mouth and pushing as far to the back of my throat as I was able. He was rigid by the time he let me take a break. MasterDoc did something unusual then – as we cuddled he asked me what I wanted to do that night. ! I was speechless. You know you’re a well-trained submissive when you don’t even think about what you’d like to do. It’s always a given that we do what he wants, and I happily go along with it. It’s not that I don’t get input, I do, but the decision is his so I don’t think, “Well I really want a butt plug tonight.” Once we get started with sexytime, and my collar is on, I don’t think much, I just do. Sometimes there’s leeway when I set out toys – he’ll tell me to get out things I might like to play with. There’s never a guarantee that I’ll get what I want, of course, but he does take my requests under consideration.

As I lay there with my mouth open, unable to think up what I might want that evening, MasterDoc came up with an idea: we will set up a “wishing box” where I can put ideas whenever they come to me, and he can check it every so often and consider the suggestions. This way I get input, but it’s not expected on the spot and he still ultimately has control over what we do in an evening. (We agreed during this conversation that it really is less hot if I direct the action. On the other hand, I’m sure even wonderful Doms like MasterDoc could use some help with ideas now and then.) I’ve started writing out wishes on post it notes today. I have four sitting next to me on the sofa right now. I need to find a box to use. I love this idea!

MasterDoc took control back again since it was clear I was unable to think. We watched some porn (I just remembered I’m supposed watch this whole video – with sound – today. DeeDee recommended it to MasterDoc. She’s a very dirty girl!) and I got myself wet using my bullet vibe. It’s funny the things that don’t strike you as hot the first time you see it, but that gradually becomes hotter – gagging on cock seems really hot to me right now. As I watched that video, I thought about why slutty, kinky women are so hot – they enjoy sex and get into it with abandon. They allow themselves to be animalistic. They really let go and enjoy what they’re doing. I’ve only recently started realizing that about myself – I should allow myself to behave like a horny slut  because it’s hot. Being shy doesn’t serve much of a purpose.

MasterDoc fucked me from behind as he continued to watch the porn. I used the bullet vibe on my clit, but not directly. I held it a little off to the side so I wouldn’t get worked up too fast. I moaned and my thumb found its way into my mouth. I bit and sucked on it to help control the rising tide of orgasm that wanted to sweep over me.  He told me not to let myself get worked up too fast, and I obeyed as best I could. Oh it felt amazing. I entered subspace in a big way. He fucked me for what seemed like a very long time. I was so horny that I started crying out, “Oh that feels so good!” around the point when I’d usually start begging for orgasm. But subspace held me tight and I had a few, pinpointed thoughts, “I would do anything he wanted me to at this point.” And, “I’m so glad to be here, to be a hole for him to fuck when he wants to fuck. I am so glad he can use my body.” I was so happy, so turned on, so at peace. He started working his finger into my asshole and god I wanted to explode! When he told me to come, I came so very hard. And I kept coming over and over again, begging him to finger my ass more. The waves kept washing over me as he kept fucking or fingering or slapping my pussy and ass. I sometimes wonder if I should come as long as I do lately – do I come too much? Does he want me to come hard as long as he’s stimulating me? I want that. I’m amazed with how long he keeps me orgasming lately. I am ready to collapse by the time he decides I’ve had enough. My legs were exhausted from holding me up but my clenching cunt demanded attention, so I held the position until he was done with me.

I am so fortunate, and when my chemically imbalanced brain isn’t making me cranky, I’m incredibly happy with MasterDoc. I’m happy just to be hanging out at his place even when he’s not here. I have a huge smile on my face today. I have always needed a Dom and I’m feeling so complete now that I have one.