Slutting About

Published on August 2, 2010 in Uncategorized, blow jobs, cunnilingus, dating, sex and slut. 3 Comments

It’s been a while since I’ve gone slutting about without MasterDoc there to keep an eye on me. The reasons for this are complicated, and in some ways personal, so I won’t get into them here. But I’m at a point now where I feel free to enjoy myself with others again.

It’s an amazing feeling when you’re being a hedonist purely for your own pleasure. Fucking people from some desire to be loved or feeling that you need to do so to be liked, is a dangerous road. I’m sure I’ve done it at various points, but right now I just want to feel good. And there is nothing wrong (in my book) in having sex and enjoying yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being a slut as long as you’re not doing it in a self-destructive way.

So I had a date last night with a new guy. He’s around MasterDoc’s age (although MasterDoc keeps teasing me that he’s probably older, after all a lot of older people lie about their ages, but I’m a trusting soul who has faith in people until I start to suspect otherwise). He’s an artist, a musician, an entrepreneur. He’s got a nice apartment in the East Village. We met in Grammercy for drinks at an Irish pub; the kind of pub where ordering a chocolate martini gets you perplexed looks (but I’m sure they pull a fabulous pint of Guinness). I settled for cosmos as the bartender knew how to make those.

We sat and talked. The Entrepreneur (as I will call him) kept the cocktails coming. And I decided that, what the hell, I’m having a good time I’m going to hang out at his place with him. (He also had given me no reason to feel unsafe, quite the contrary.) He got me talking about polyamory since he’s new to it, and also my D/s relationship with MasterDoc, and sex blogging. He’s fond of subcultures and was fascinated by my stories being new to all those things. I love being able to be the exciting woman who has had countless sexual adventures. Face it, liking sex, truly liking it and enjoying it without hang ups, is a phenomenally sexy thing. I often forget that most women aren’t necessarily as enthusiastic and unapologetic about sex as I am. (Except, of course, my fellow sex bloggers often are.)

We hung out at his place, he played some guitar for me which was a good move since I’ve always had a weakness for musicians. We enjoyed chatting some more and he eventually asked if I wanted to kiss. I said sure and we made out for a bit. He was thrilled over my bountiful breasts. He kept declaring that he was in heaven and such flattery will get you far when I’m in the mood.

Soon we were in his bed, and he went down on me pretty quickly. I’ve long maintained that men who go down on you first (before getting you to go down on them) are usually attentive and good lovers. I don’t think that the reverse is necessarily true though. I’ve known men who have me blow them first who were just fabulous. But I don’t think I’ve met a guy who ate me out first who was terrible in the sack.

I had to remind myself that being in a vanilla situation, I could come when I wanted to. Being someone’s submissive most of the time I’m used to asking permission. I love orgasm control, but it’s also nice to have autonomy sometimes. I came like crazy and he just kept licking my pussy as I kept coming. He seemed thrilled at how hard I come – it seriously boggles my mind that how intensely I orgasm isn’t the norm. I had a thought affectionately at one point last night that, “Aw. He’s never had a real slut before! How sweet!” There are women like me out there, but too often they seem like a myth.

He had me go down on him eventually and I showed off my skills. (As MasterDoc once said, “You suck a mean cock!”) Being a sexual woman feels like such a power trip at times. I have the ability to render men senseless with lust – and I’m not even the most gorgeous woman in the world. (Although I will admit I’m cute.) It’s funny that I’ve so long struggled with low self-esteem. Lately I have moments where even I have to stop being self-deprecating and realize that I’m pretty freakin’ awesome in some ways. Not perfect by any means, but pretty awesome. I’m smart, educated, sexual, free, and a hedonist. What’s not to like? I need to push past the idea that got into my brain from a young age that to be confident was on par with being egotistical. I come from a very self-deprecating family.

When he went off to the bathroom at one point, I had the thought, “If I were playing with myself when he gets back he would think that was the hottest thing ever.” I feel a little calculating thinking like that, but it’s not done with the intention to manipulate, it’s just that I’ve had enough experience to know what works. Indeed, he did think it was really hot to find me stroking my pussy. He set himself up with a ringside seat and watched (and contributed to caressing my legs) as I gave myself an orgasm. It’s always nice having an appreciative audience.

We went to fuck, but human bodies being what they are his cock didn’t totally cooperate. No matter. As a sexual woman of the world I appreciate that sometimes our bodies don’t react how we want them to. There are certainly times when I’m enjoying myself yet not getting wet (in those moments it’s lube for the win!). If a man has erectile trouble while you’re with him, don’t take it personally. Don’t take it as something to worry about. Just keep fooling around. As much as I adore penis-in-vagina sex, it’s by no means the only way to get off and have fun. Being with someone new, or using condoms when you’re not used to them, are things that can make your cock stubborn. I really appreciated though how he’s not one of those men who will then try to persuade you to have unprotected sex.

He flipped me over at one point and massaged my back. He kissed and licked my ass and I wondered if he was going to rim me. He teased and tantalized for a while, then slid his fingers in my pussy and made me come again.

I had a great time, and it was late. I was clearly welcome to spend the night and it seemed like the best thing to do rather than take a long subway ride by myself when I was tired. I always sleep fitfully in a new place, plus it was hard because he’s a cuddler during sleep, whereas I’m someone who wants their space. But sleeping there was a good move. In the morning, we fooled around again and he fucked me twice. (And made me come countless times.) It was a lovely time. He’s smart, interesting and good in bed. I want to teach him the “come hither” motion with his fingers when fingering me, however. If you turn your hand palm up while fingering a woman, and do a “come hither” motion, you stroke the g-spot typically. I’m not complaining, just pondering improvements. (I’ve been around MasterDoc too long.)

At one point this morning he declared that he’s only going to date sex bloggers from now on. Yes, we are awesome. Thank you, thank you very much.

My rumbling tummy pressured me to ask about breakfast, and he took me out for brunch in his neighborhood. After, he walked me to the subway and we said our goodbyes. It felt kinda “Sex and the City” to have brunch in Manhattan on a beautiful Sunday morning after fucking for much of the night. I took the long ride home to MasterDoc’s and had to fill him and DeeDee in on the details of my adventure pretty much as soon as I walked in the door. MasterDoc called me slut a few times, but it’s all done with the utmost affection.

Don’t You All Wish You Were MasterDoc?

Published on August 1, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, masochism, musings, orgasm on command, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and threesome. 0 Comments

I’ve had a busy weekend, so I’m a little behind in posting here. It gets hard to go back two nights and remember what naughtiness you got up to when you have last night to write about as well. But I will strive to keep this in chronological order as I like keeping it that way.

While talking to MasterDoc the other day about how well counting calories in my phone app has helped me lose weight (about 30 lbs so far!), he pointed out that I’m a “chronicler” – I like keeping lists and details of things and so this is a good way for me to go about it. This is quite true. I found my stash of diaries from high school while cleaning out stuff before moving, and I kept them faithfully for most of the last couple of years of high school. In one, I have a list of every time I had sex with my first boyfriend up until I ran out of room and the novelty of being sexually active wore off. I also kept a spreadsheet of the guys (and gals) I’ve fucked until last year or so, when the list being taken over by “random guy” from when we go out to swing clubs made me decide to give it up. I like making lists. I like blogging, I like chronicling.

So here I am chronicling another naughty night with MasterDoc and DeeDee. There was talk of going out to the swing club, but ultimately we stayed in. I was feeling pretty equally enthusiastic about both options. We haven’t been to the swing club in quite a while, but staying in with my kinky “family” was a wonderful option as well.

While MasterDoc has complimented me many times recently on how calmly I handle things now compared to how I used to, I did have a moment of not handling things as well that night. I got frustrated because when we fool around in the living room, I’m always the one to gather condoms, lube, toys, etc. while MasterDoc and DeeDee get started fooling around. Then being expected to join in when I was just in practical, get things gathered mode is really difficult. So I spoke up. And MasterDoc had DeeDee get some of the stuff for us. It’s not that I don’t want the two of them fooling around, it’s just that I feel left out and like I have to jump into something that I’m not yet in the right mindset for. It feels unfair to always be the one doing the work, although I realize that originally it was because I knew where everything is and DeeDee didn’t.

But after that little bit of expressed frustration (and on some level I don’t think it’s a problem to speak up about it – otherwise I will end up resentful. He just thinks I should be patient and talk about it later, I think I need to speak up in the moment or I’ll not be able to enjoy the whole evening) things moved forward.

MasterDoc is a very, very lucky man. I blew him while DeeDee made out with him, and he did more of the cock choking we’ve been into lately. Hot! DeeDee also thought it was hot to watch. She’s followed my lead and discovered the joys of rough sex porn and how cock choking, with the right person, can be fucking hot. It helps when you’re a little dry mouthed as well, as the saliva really starts flowing after having a cock at the back of your throat.

MasterDoc had us trade off, and he’s to the point now where he acknowledges that he’s a very lucky man to have us. This is a wonderful thing to hear. In all his domliness he’s always emphasized how lucky we are (and we are, and according to MasterDoc this is a key to getting women – genuinely thinking that they (the women) are the lucky ones. Confidence is hot.) I’m sure there are men out there reading this who are gobsmacked at the idea of two sexy, slutty women pleasuring them at once. This is par for the course for MasterDoc. We don’t call his apartment “MasterDoc’s Home for Wayward Women” for nothing.

I feel the need to put in here the fact that earlier in the day, MasterDoc had a bdsm encounter with another woman. He’s such a dog. He likes to say that he has “terminal dogoma.” The man is a super slut.

He enjoyed a couple of rounds of heavy blow job action before turning the tables on us. He asked if I wanted to be beaten before he fucked me, and well, pervert masochist that I am I said yes. He gave me many good ass smacks with the riding crop. He had DeeDee blow him while doing this, and then he eventually moved to fingering me (and somehow, as I wasn’t looking in their direction he fingered DeeDee too) he gave permission to come and we both came long and loud. It takes a skilled man (a super slut!) to be able to get two women off at once like that. He makes me very happy indeed.

We didn’t end up fucking, but I think he made me come again… it’s fuzzy at this point. Ah yes! He fingered me to a squirting orgasm while DeeDee blew him. DeeDee got distracted reading his copy of “The Sensuous Man” (I asked MasterDoc why he’s reading that as he could write it!) and she kept telling us fun stuff the guy said in the book. (Ah, from back in the pre-HIV era when things were so much more liberal. I was born at the wrong time.) MasterDoc distracted me by stroking my face in that way that always makes me melt and slip into subspace. DeeDee asked me a question, but I was too far away to answer. MasterDoc told her this so she didn’t expect me to be coherent. He and I have such chemistry these days that he can fire me up with just a stroke of the cheek, or a grasp of my hair.

More sex would have been fun, but I was so tired. I went to bed a little later and had some work the next day. MasterDoc and DeeDee most likely had fun and freaky sex while I was at work. *sigh* I don’t begrudge them having it, I just bemoan my having to be at work rather than having hot orgasms.

Untitled

Published on July 29, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, analingus, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, dom, fantasy, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, musings, orgasm denial, sex, sex toys and submissive. 2 Comments

I got lost in my head during play Tuesday night, so apologies if this account is disjointed. I had been overdue for a beating, so MasterDoc took to my ass with the riding crop and cane. He started off light, and very gradually increased intensity. He did it in such a way that by the time he was whacking me hard he was able to tell me to come. I came from the pain. I came from him having control. For some unknown reason that still amazes me.

We watched some porn – and this time I actually watched instead of being distracted by him fucking me. I stroked his hair as we lay by each others side. As the porn turned me on I started touching myself. I played with my breasts and nipples, something I rarely do during masturbation. I shyly reached a hand down to my pussy and started playing there. Intermittently, I’d touch him, stroking his back.

Right before having sex with me, MasterDoc looked me in the eye and told me that I was to hold off coming indefinitely. I was not allowed to beg for orgasm like I usually do. Just him giving me this directive, with that firm look in his eyes, made me wet. I struggled to keep my arousal under control as he fucked me. But of course I just kept thinking about how hot it was that he could use my body for his pleasure. It seems as if telling me not to come makes me just want to come more!

We cuddled up after the fucking, and his phone rang. This distracted me so when he told me to come a moment later, I wasn’t anywhere near ready to come. He talked to me about keeping with where we are mentally. After all, the phone can be ignored. I’ll try to do better next time.

My memories of that evening are in bits and pieces, so forgive me if this isn’t as coherent as most posts.

As we cuddled I did some spot worship (see 5th paragraph in that post), and he called me the “High Priestess of Spot Worship.” Hee hee. I know how to play with his special spot really well by now. I stroke his chest languidly, focusing on “the spot” but also touching the rest of his torso – from tummy to collar bone. I’ve joked that I want a sex toy company to make a toy version of his spot so if I ever lose him I can stroke it for comfort.

He had me suck his cock for a while, and I struggled a bit with the reservoir tip of the condom tickling the back of my throat. That’s the only thing I truly hate about blow jobs with condoms.

At one point, I was laying down in such a way that I was looking up at him – and I mentioned that I loved the perspective. Having him above me like that felt so representative of the power dynamic between us. I thought about the idea of him being a god for the length of our scenes. The majority of the time, we’re two humans with strengths and weaknesses. But when we play we can be something else for a while. He can be a god to me, and I can feel safe in his arms. He can be in control, which he likes and I can give up control, which I like. (Of course, ever the irreverent Dom, MasterDoc made some funny noises and hand motions when I said I liked the perspective. Kinda changed the feeling!) Many times that night I felt like declaring I’m his, over and over.

He fucked me from behind a couple of times with that order not to come or ask to come still applying. His cock wasn’t cooperating as much as he would have liked, so the fucking didn’t last long. He had intended to fuck me until he came.

I was feeling really ready for limit pushing, and he had me give his asshole a big kiss. I still don’t like doing it, but it’s hot in the way that I’m being told what to do. Thankfully it is always freshly cleaned when he has me do it. I still pause a second and give him a “do I have to?” look before doing what he tells me to do.

We took a break, and he checked on DeeDee. (She struggles with depression like I do, and was having a tough day.) MasterDoc planned to fuck me later that night as I got so drowsy I was ready to fall asleep, but that got put off. (Something for the wishing box.)

Pleasurists #87

Published on July 28, 2010 in pleasurists, reviews and sex toys. 0 Comments

Washed Up by bubs84

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #87? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #89? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday July 18th at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #17

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult DVDs & Porn

Storage

Sex Furniture

Lingerie

Miscellaneous

Pleasurists adult product review round-up

Wanton Wednesday – Bottoms Up!

Published on July 27, 2010 in photos and wanton wednesday. 9 Comments



Check out the other Wantons this Wednesday. (Photo by DeeDee.)

The Mind is the Most Potent Sex Organ

Published on July 26, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, humiliation play, kink, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, shio, slut, squirting and submissive. 1 Comment

In contrast to the other night when I was needing cuddles and reconnection with MasterDoc, last night I was feeling really subby and really eager to push limits.

We were getting settled in the bedroom when he received a phone call. I cuddled him for a moment, then he motioned to me to suck his cock while he talked on the phone. I slid my way down his body and worked his cock with my mouth. He was hard by the time the phone call was over.

He gripped my hair as I gave him head. And a while into the blow job I got a pervasive fantasy of mine fulfilled – he choked me on his cock. Truly choked me. I had his dick down my throat as he held my head down. My mind raced with the hotness of how much control he has. Even when I started to gag, I didn’t panic but found it highly erotic. It seems like my mouth will manage to push it out when it becomes physically vital to do so; there’s no real worry of actually suffocating. I rested on his stomach after, shuddering because I was so hot from what he did to me. He and I both agreed that it was super hot, and he did it to me again. Fuck. This turned me on so much that as I licked at the base of his cock afterward, he told me to come and I did. He hadn’t touched my erogenous zones at all by that time, so I came purely from being turned on by blowing him and being choked on his cock.

I realize that it can be hard for some people to understand why cock choking is hot. I didn’t get it for a long time – I used to feel uneasy watching rough porn where the woman is choked and ends up with drool all over her chin. Somehow that changed, perhaps because I’m with someone I trust? I’m with someone who I want to push my limits. It turns me on to take more and more kinky things for him. I like the feeling that he’s in control. (Granted this is not always easy when he wants me to do something I don’t really want to do.)

He made me come again verbally. I grabbed onto his thighs as I flailed about.

A little later, he put on some porn. As I spooned against him I watched only for a moment before I felt his fingers in my hair. He grabbed hold firmly (near the scalp) and slowly, gently tugged. Not enough to really hurt, but enough to show me who’s in control. This went on for a little while, and yet again I’m amazed by how easily he turns me on these days. The brain really is the largest sexual organ.

He had started fucking me from behind when he received another phone call. He told me, “You need to be quiet, slut. Understand?” I said that I did and he picked up the phone call. He talked on the phone with someone while fucking me. That was just so hot. I know in a less subby mindset I might not have thought so (I might have been upset that I was being ignored) but in a subby mindset I got really turned on thinking about how I’m his slut and he can just recreationally, casually, plunder my body while he attends to something and someone else entirely. I stifled all but a few quiet gasps and moans. After the call was done he fucked me hard and made me come. My cunt pushed his cock out and he continued with his adept fingers. I squirted all over his hand.

Earlier, he had talked about pissing on me, and I had forgotten about it by that point. But he told me to come with him and he led me into the bathroom. He had said that he wanted me to act like it’s the hottest thing ever for him to be pissing on me. He told me that soon, whether he pisses in my mouth or not will depend on how convincing I am when he’s pissing on me. I worried, of course, that I wouldn’t be able to, but I think he has me conditioned now to come under many circumstances, and I rubbed my clit to orgasm as he pissed on me.

I showered off and we took a break. He wanted to get DeeDee to join us but she was distracted by a good Hercule Poirot mystery on PBS.

Eventually he and I made our way, separately, back to the bedroom. He was dealing with another phone call, so I sucked his cock as earlier he decided that that’s what he wants me to do when he gets a call and I’m around. I was eager for more fucking, but MasterDoc wanted the Lelo Bob in his ass. He got on hands and knees and stroked his cock as I warmed up his ass by massaging and lubing it up.

After slowly and gently working a finger in, I slid my finger out and lubed up the Bob. I spread his ass wide so I could be sure I was pushing it against his sphincter. Once the widest part was in, the rest slid in easily. I worked the plug a little, pressing it forward towards his prostate. Then I left the plug alone and massaged his thighs and ass. He tugged on his cock while I continued to do whatever I could to increase his pleasure. He told me to come, and I came while he did. I think we’ve achieved some sort of hypnotism without trying. Imagine what MasterDoc could do if he tried. Last night, the fucking/fingering was the only time I came with my genitals being touched by anything. MasterDoc is fucking amazing. I’m sure it’s not only him (although he is amazing) but also the combination of the two of us together.

A Victim of My Own Success

Published on July 25, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, analingus, blow jobs, bondage, horny, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, shio and squirting. 0 Comments

As many of you have seen on twitter, I didn’t see MasterDoc for over a week. He went away to his friend’s wedding across the country. I still hung out surprisingly often at his place, spending some time with DeeDee and her friend. I got to see my friend DivaSub and we watched some funny movies and stuff. (Bill Hicks, Valley Girl, Dazed and Confused – for the win!) I also managed to find an apartment I like. (And DivaSub is thrilled since it’s near her, in fact you can see her apartment window from the window of what I hope will soon be my apartment.) I’ll be just two blocks from MasterDoc, which is excellent not only because I see him often, but also because I have never lived alone before. I’m really nervous yet excited about it. I love the apartment so hopefully I will get my paperwork in quickly enough to snag it. I have great credit and earn enough to rent there, so things should go well. I’m also trying to snag garage parking in the building across the street (the building I want to move into has a waiting list for the garage). It’s just a studio, but it has an actual kitchen plus tons of closet space. I was born an NYC girl and I will be one again if all goes as planned.

I saw MasterDoc a tiny bit Friday morning. He got in late from work and slept next to me. I got a quick cuddle before he went back to sleep and I got ready for work.

I was so happy to get some time alone with him Friday night, but as we got ready to “do the freaky-freaky” as MasterDoc might say, he fell into a very sadistic, teasing mood. I was needing cuddles and reconnecting, and he was talking about making me lick chocolate sauce from his asshole. (Ew.) I found it harder to get turned on because I just wasn’t in a state where I could handle teasing about stuff I don’t like. (And he had left me on a teasing note, tormenting me about pissing in my mouth.)

He took a moment to change his mindset, and things proceeded much better from there. At this point in our relationship, I just have to press my naked body against his and I get turned on. My hands wander his chest and I get more and more excited. He gets excited too from touching me and having me close.

It dawned on MasterDoc that that’s why we don’t do as much kinky stuff lately – he gets so turned on that all he can think about in the moment is fucking me. I am a victim of my own success. He often intends to do kinky stuff, but never quite gets there. I have to say, the sex is so phenomenal that I can’t truly complain, but I would love some more kink back in my life.

He had me suck his cock and I got into it: licking, slurping, making it hard. He twined his fingers in my hair and I got even more excited hoping he was going to choke me on his cock. He did, finally, holding my head down until I actually started to gag on his cock. Then I lay on his chest to catch my breath. While I needed time to recover, I would have loved to go again. It’s like there’s some sort of high that’s produced when he does that. I hope he does more in the future. I blew him until he had me stop, saying that one of these days I’ll manage to make him come orally. This doesn’t happen often for him (and hasn’t happened ever with me) so I look forward to it!

I deep throated him as much as possible. I love making him feel good! It turns me on to know that I’ve gotten really good at giving him head. I used to be a lover who was really focused on her own pleasure, but now I’ve learned to get immense pleasure out of my partner’s pleasure too.

MasterDoc played with my pussy for a bit, but I had a hard time getting aroused as my clit was so sensitive that touching it hurt. Adding lube helped a lot and as he was hard and ready, he had me get on top of his cock for a ride. Oh it was so nice to slip him inside me. I’m spoiled with regular sex so going about a week and a half without it was hard! Fucking him excited me so much that I came wildly when he gave permission. My whole body tensed up, I fell forward onto him, and I kept involuntarily twitching as he touched me. He wrung every last orgasm out of my body, and I was exhausted after. So often these days I wonder if I can keep coming (or if my body is too tired to) and just as I wonder that he makes me come again.

It’s an exquisite form of control. He can make me twitch and come with just the touch of his hand. When he fucks me, I come until he decides to stop me. I can’t control coming again and again if he decides to make me come.

We fucked a second time. I knelt at the end of the bed and leaned over my Liberator Axis (that thing kicks ass for support during doggy style sex). He teased me a bit, not putting his cock in right away. I was so, so desperate for it. I sighed as he slid his cock in. He fucked me for a long time, I moaned a lot as I could have come shortly after he started. I’m sure he can hear through my moans that plaintive call where I wordlessly try to beg for orgasm.

When I came, my pussy pushed his cock out, but he continued with his hands. I squirted a whole bunch and then kept right on coming. Again, he forced orgasms out of me until I didn’t think I could stand it any more. As he finished with me and told me to fall forward, I just about managed to get the axis out from under me before I collapsed.

Before we started, we put the underbed restraints on the bed. He had me lay in the middle of the bed, on my stomach, and he strapped me down. At first, this made me so hot as I love bondage. But he left me there, and as time went on my shoulders began to ache. I debated calling out for him but the sub in me wanted to see if I could concentrate on relaxing and thereby stay bound without so much shoulder pain. I was left there quite a while as he got distracted by the Yankee game. When he came in I told him about the discomfort and he undid me, pointing out that he wouldn’t get mad at me for having to ask him to un-cuff me if I was in pain.

We started getting amorous again, but DeeDee called to say she and her friend were on the way home. We had to forego a third round of sex. It was such a shame as we both would have loved more, but considering the many, many orgasms I had, I can’t complain.

Wanton Wednesday

Published on July 21, 2010 in Uncategorized, photos and wanton wednesday. 11 Comments

Thanks to DeeDee, I have a new set of photos to share. Here’s the first of several!

Check out the other Wantons this Wednesday.

Review: Intimate Basics Juno from Sextoy.com

Published on July 19, 2010 in Uncategorized, cunt, reviews, sex toys and sexuality. 0 Comments

Branded under Dr. Laura Berman’s name, the Intimate Basics Juno Kegel exerciser is a Lucite barbell containing metal balls of various sizes and weights. It’s easy to clean and small enough to fit in my travel toiletries bag. (It’s about 7.25″ long and 1.25″ at the widest part.) Sextoy.com was kind enough to send this to me for review.

Sex educators and gynecologists all over tout Kegel exercises as helpful in many ways – from tightening the vaginal canal as you get older or have children, to possibly preventing uterine prolapse, to helping prevent incontinence. Men can do Kegels as well – it’s all about working your pelvic floor muscles. (More info from Mayoclinic.com) There’s a variety of barbells available to use when doing Kegels. These barbells are not mandatory, but perhaps having a barbell that you lift and hold in your vagina while contracting your muscles will help you in some way – either by making you more aware of how well you’re contracting your muscles or perhaps because it’s a novel thing to do.

I was a little confused by the directions as they seem slightly counter intuitive to me – I may have misunderstood them. They are:

As a novelty product, use internally. Insert gradually over time and use according to your comfort level. For beginners use the lighter weight (smallest ball) while standing, by inserting the smaller end and supporting the other end gently with the palm of your hand. You can work your way to a heavier weight, first by inserting up to the second ball and then turning Juno around and inserting the largest end first while squeezing the vaginal muscles around it. You should support the weight by holding the non-inserted end until you eventually work up to the heaviest weight in with now support.

I started with the smaller end, but damn if it isn’t difficult to hold the barbell up by squeezing that little narrow bit up top! I found squeezing and holding the wider end to be much easier – are the directions backwards? When you insert the narrow end the heaviest ball is hanging at the end of the exerciser. It is amusing to be able to lift the weight up into your vagina by contracting your muscles – picture any other weight-lifting workout. (I envision Jane Fonda workout tapes all of a sudden. Ha ha. Watch Jane lift the barbell into her vag. “Feel the burn ladies!”)

Personally, I prefer just doing my Kegels while going about my daily life. I’m far more likely to get them done if I clench my vaginal muscles when I think of it (because hey, no one can tell what you’re doing). But if you’re interested in some assistance or some way to intensify your Kegel exercises, this barbell is as good as any. It’s easy to clean (soap and water or antibacterial toy cleaner) and totally smooth and seamless (so there’s nothing to irritate your delicate vag).  Oh and one more thing about Kegels – they are reputed to improve sexual response and control. Rowr. I think getting your Kegels done regularly is a win/win proposition.

_________________________________________________________

Sex toys provided by SexToy.com. Check out our excellent selection of Kegel and pelvic exercisers online.

This item for review was provided free of charge by SexToy.com. I was expected to give an honest review, and I have done so here. I received no other benefits or payment from the company other than these toys.

Why The Lesbian Sheep Dance?

Published on July 16, 2010 in Uncategorized, anxiety, attraction, bisexuality, lesbian, musings, poly and sexuality. 1 Comment

The other day MasterDoc asked me if, when it comes to dating women, I sabotage myself. I had to say yes, I think I do but of course figuring out why is much harder.

I do wonder if I have some deeply internalized homophobia going on – as in, being gay is just fine but oooh I’d be a bad person if I did it. Perhaps my upbringing in a Catholic family (albeit rather lapsed), in the suburbs (where people tend to conform even more), during the 80′s (you never saw openly gay kids in high school back then – at least not in the burbs where I was, and blatant homophobia was rampant) all contributed to this state of affairs. My grandmother, who I grew up in the house with, would have flipped out over my brother being gay or me being bi. She was deeply distressed back when Rosie O’Donnell came out. She liked Rosie and was bewildered to find that she’s “a gay.” I pointed out to her that she was still the same exact person she enjoyed watching on tv before, only now she knew more about her private life than before.

My grandmother passed away in 2002, and while I was out to myself as bi (and had had sex with women by then) I was totally closeted as far as my family was concerned. I’m still not out to my dad. My brother only came out as gay around 2006 (he’s much younger than me, he was around 23 at the time). My father, who I was always close to, is deeply uncomfortable with homosexuality. He’s a 62-year-old man who grew up in a Catholic family during an era when homosexuality was truly vilified (hey, he grew up in New York pre-Stonewall). In so many ways my dad is a spectacular guy – but he cannot seem to get it into his head that homosexuality is not a choice, does not do bad things to your soul, and ultimately is a natural part of the world. He would never be mean or antagonistic towards someone he knew was gay, but he would be deeply uncomfortable.

Since I’ve been closer to my dad than my mom, it’s not surprising that after my brother came out I came out to my mother – because frankly I could give a shit if she didn’t like it. But I’m really afraid of disappointing my father. Already, he’s struggling with the whole poly thing and he hasn’t even met MasterDoc yet (and has no idea he’s much older than me). Imagine if I threw a girlfriend into the mix?

My mother was totally accepting of both my brother and I – though I don’t think she quite “gets” that poly is an ongoing thing and not just something you do until you settle down. Her family was far more liberal than my father’s ever was. (The aforementioned grandmother who I grew up with was dad’s mom.) And while my brother is gay and open-minded in some ways, he does identify still as Roman Catholic (says his Facebook page) and *shudder* republican. Being the way out left liberal that I am kinda makes me the black sheep of my immediate family. They’re largely used to and embracing of how “unique” I am, but there’s still some things best not discussed around family. I’m used to keeping parts of myself and my life secret from them.

So do I sabotage myself? It’s possible. Why don’t I ever EVER make a move on a woman I’m interested in? If a woman I like pursues me, then we’re fine, but as so many of us ladies do the lesbian sheep dance it leaves me in a position where I long for a woman in my life, but never quite get one. How can I work through this and get over my subconscious hang up?