Archive for the 'threesome' Category

Angst and Sex

Published on September 8, 2011 in anxiety, D/s, depression, emotions, forced orgasm, masturbation, sex, sex toys, stress, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I’ve been officially living with MasterDoc and DeeDee for over a week now. The stress of moving, compounded by a sinus infection and then my car being broken into and stolen from, has left me feeling depressed and almost killed my libido. This depression seems to be lingering longer than I’d like. The kicker I suppose is that I was feeling better Friday morning as I left for work… only to find the passenger side window on my car shattered and my stuff rifled through. Argh! I think I felt a little like Charlie Brown with Lucy and the football. I kept thinking, “Ok, today will be better!” only to have the “football” swiped out from under me, again.

I’ve been yearning for attention and cuddles from MasterDoc much more than sex and orgasms. We have fooled around a few times. We did some assisted masturbation where I used the Hitachi on myself and he added to the experience with grabbing my hair and such. Rowr. I came remarkably hard, but I wasn’t feeling particularly horny the rest of the time. On Saturday, MasterDoc wasn’t feeling himself (he had a rough week as well) so I did my best to be helpful to him. DeeDee and I attended to him. I sucked his cock, she did some spot worship (caressing the lovely spot of hair right in the middle of his chest). DeeDee, ever creative, went off to get something – when she came back she put some garlic powder in her palm, licked it, and spritzed MasterDoc’s cock with the new olive oil spritzer. Then she went down on him. It wasn’t erotic so much as amusing, but I give her a lot of credit for creativity.

MasterDoc had to wash after, since oil will deteriorate condoms. (You all know that right? Don’t use anything oil-based with latex.) When he came back, he decided to fuck me while DeeDee bathed. I had so turned off my desire that it was hard to shift gears and receive pleasure. The orgasms had to be pulled out of me. We expected DeeDee to come back in, but she wasn’t sure if she should.

Monday I was feeling particularly depressed and kinda moped around the place all day. I had angst over feeling needy but also being too scared to talk about it lest I be perceived as annoyingly clingy. This week I need lots of petting, reassurance and attention. I did speak up just a little, and thankfully later on MasterDoc suggested getting “freaky” as he calls it. I felt delicate mentally and he somehow found his missing mojo and provided me with the perfect combination of attention, domination, comfort, and orgasms.

He’s had his own angst because at least half of the last testosterone implants he got worked their way out of his body. He’s low on testosterone until insurance will pay for the next implants. This doesn’t stop him from being a horny dog, but his cock isn’t always as cooperative as he’d like. And like any guy, if his dick isn’t working he can feel hesitant to start fooling around. This has been the perfect week for me to remind him that while I love penis-in-vagina sex with him, he can make me feel good in so many other ways. That’s not as trite as it sounds. They say the brain is the largest sexual organ, and I tend to agree. While I need orgasms, I have needed attention and cuddles far more this week.

However, his cock decided to cooperate. Huzzah! That’s good for the old self-esteem (his and mine). He fucked me from on top, and pushed me into orgasm before he gave me the command to come. When he did give the command, I started coming harder.

Yes, I realize that with a life like this you’re probably wondering how the hell I could ever be depressed. As I pointed out to MasterDoc, my depressions seldom correlate with the quality of my life. This is why I consider it to be an illness and mostly chemical. Granted, poor behavior modeling on the part of my mother, and being a shy and intellectually precocious kid, only compounded my difficulties. These bits I can, and have, worked on and improved vastly. But the chemical bit is harder to treat. I’m medicated, but perhaps I’ve been on the same medication for too long? Or are there just going to be times where the delicate balance in my brain goes too far for the medication to handle. I don’t know.

The love and orgasms and attention from MasterDoc helped me tremendously. I am thankful for all the does for me.

And They Lived Happily Ever After

Published on August 12, 2011 in DeeDee, happy, non-monogamy, poly, threesome and Uncategorized. 4 Comments

After such a heavy post, it’s good that I’m filled to the brim with excitement about officially moving in with MasterDoc and DeeDee. We’ve become an intentional family – working together so we can all be well, secure, and live in a nice apartment. And this family is far more functional than the one I grew up in. I think all adults should be allowed to form a chosen family.

I’ve spent significant amounts of time at MasterDoc’s since I met him 4 years ago. DeeDee moved in a little over a year ago when she lost her job and wanted to look for work in New York. It was meant to be temporary. Despite being highly educated (MBA!) and capable, a suitable job offer hasn’t come her way. But this works out because she takes up a bit more housework, whereas I do less housework, but contribute more financially since I’m working. Each of us contributes in the ways we currently can. I hate cooking, she doesn’t mind, so she cooks and I clean up after dinner.

It’s a shame that this is considered highly unusual. I don’t feel I can tell my co-workers, for example, about my very happy home life. I have to pretend I’m simply moving in with my boyfriend. And as far as they know I’ve only dated him several months – Davey was my “official” boyfriend for a long time and I’m not out as poly at work – so after my breakup with him last year I waited several months before mentioning someone “new”.

I’ve told both my parents about poly. My dad seems totally weirded out. We’ll see how it goes when I tell him that MasterDoc’s “other girlfriend” lives with us. Hopefully, when he sees how happy I am and what a lovely place I live in, he will manage to deal with the strangeness of the situation. My dad is old-fashioned in many ways, but he wants to see me happy and stable. He helped me weather my teenage depression more than my mom. (She usually contributed to it.) He respects my agency as an adult and loves me. My Mom? She doesn’t quite “get” poly but she’s supportive of my choices.

DeeDee says that people’s top question when they hear about our situation is – where do you all sleep? MasterDoc’s apartment has three bedrooms, and each of us has our own. DeeDee and I trade off sleeping with MasterDoc, and sometimes he just wants to sleep alone. Luckily, I like sleeping alone so it’s not a hardship when I do so. And if one of us is having a rough time and want to sleep with him this is arranged – and always without drama. When both of them are away, I usually sleep in MasterDoc’s bed as I find it comforting.

My room is in disarray as MasterDoc cleans out his things (except the fax, modem, wireless router, etc. all that will stay there) and I gradually move my things over. We’re in the process of combining the household items I have and what they have. I have to get my stuff out of my current apartment by the end of the month. It’s a little nerve-wracking not to be more packed. I look forward to setting up my room as “my” space. Having your own space is important. I’ve never been someone who wants to spend every waking moment with my partner. (It often seems like I do to MasterDoc, probably because he’s extremely poly in nature and likes to spend a lot of time with a variety of people. I tend to gravitate towards smaller groups and a bit less variety.)

I love DeeDee like a best friend and I’m thrilled to have her to talk to on a regular basis. I feel incredibly fortunate to have found this situation (or it found me) – and frustrated that I can’t shout about it from the rooftops. While I’m not officially moved in, I have spent most of the past few months here. I only stop in to my apartment to check mail or pick up things I need. Most of my wardrobe is in the closet here already. DeeDee made sure I had my own dresser to store things in many months ago.

When MasterDoc and I were fooling around earlier this week, he gushed a little about us three living happily ever after. It’s adorable when Doms gush. But the fact is, we’re all really happy to be forming a little family. I hope we DO live happily ever after.

Hogtied

Published on July 12, 2011 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, D/s, forced orgasm, kink, lesbian, masochism, non-monogamy, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting, submissive, sybian, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Since medical play turned out to not be my thing at all, Blondie and MasterDoc planned a different role-play scene when the three of us got together last Tuesday night.

A kidnap scene was planned. Although when I say planned, I’m not sure there was a solid plan. Blondie had planned to overpower me as soon as she got to MasterDoc’s, but the surprise was a bit ruined by my coming to the door to greet her. She did cuff me immediately with actual handcuffs (I only have play ones that have a safety latch). The role play didn’t have the feeling of menace that I would hope for a kidnap scene to have. It’s a shame because one of my earliest kinky fantasies involved getting kidnapped and tied up. But I think the dynamic so far with the three of us is more lighthearted than serious.

I suggested going into the bedroom since the bed was set up, but Blondie insisted on doing a hogtie on the living room floor. She started with a chest harness type thing in rope with my hands behind my back, followed by my laying on my tummy for the rest of the hogtie. As she worked the rope, MasterDoc did things like grab me by the hair and put his foot on my head as I lay helpless on the floor. The story Blondie had worked out was that I was kidnapped to be a sex slave. I was told if I didn’t cooperate I’d be sold to a yakuza.

MasterDoc prodded my exposed pussy with his toe. Unfortunately I’m still a little too inflexible in my quads to remain in the position for too long, also the pain of my stretched muscles was too much to allow me to get aroused properly. I knew that I risked discomfort with trying rope bondage, and I ultimately knew that a hogtie would be a very difficult position for me to remain in, but I figured it was worth a try. I rode it out for a little bit but when I couldn’t ignore the pain I had to ask to be untied.

We moved to the bedroom, my arms still tied behind back. Blondie kept going with the storyline and I can’t recall why, but she had MasterDoc get a banana. I think it was because I had to be trained to take it in my mouth. As Blondie held the banana to my mouth, I licked and sucked it, and that was pretty hot. After a few moments of this, she straddled me, using the banana as a cock and I sucked her “cock.” That was pretty damn hot as well. My hands got re-secured in front, as I had a hard time laying on my arms. (I make for such a fussy kidnap-ee.)

Blondie took to my pussy. She seemed to go for as much depth as possible right away. I kept telling her it hurt, but I don’t think she knows my reactions enough to realize that I really needed some sort of warming up – such as an orgasm before she went for stretching my vaginal muscles out to ultimately fit her hand in. MasterDoc thought to add the magic wand to my clit and that was helpful while it lasted. I needed warm up desperately. I just couldn’t get there.

Eventually, with the help of the magic wand, Blondie worked four fingers into my cunt up to the base knuckle. She was going for a fisting, something which I had never experienced. The discomfort from the stretching was enough with the four fingers and we didn’t get to her whole hand. But I came from the combination of vibe on the clit and her hand probing my insides. (And coming helped relax the muscles and she could get fingers in deeper with little to no pain.)

I came like crazy and and squirted like crazy. The whole room smelled of my musky squirt afterwards, and the throe was soaked. After Blondie fucked me with her fingers, MasterDoc fucked me with his cock, and again I came.

Next, it was Blondie’s turn. (We abandoned the role play by then.) She hadn’t had a sybian ride in a while and MasterDoc had gotten a new, even larger attachment. She was totally game for it. I started warming her up, first with touching and making out, then playing with her pussy. MasterDoc joined in and she was soon ready.

She eased herself onto the large dildo attachment and MasterDoc sat in front of her to run the controls. I spanked her ass lightly, and just generally groped and touched her. At some point he and I traded places, but he kept running the controls of the machine. I let her lean on me and I kept trying to keep my ear away from her mouth as she gets incredibly loud when aroused! When she seemed close to orgasm, I lifted the front part of the silicone attachment and pressed it to her clit so the vibrations might be more intense. This seemed to work well.

It was getting late, and Blondie packed up her rope to head home. I said, “Thanks for coming, I had a great time.”

She said, “Oh don’t be so formal! For goodness sake we just fucked!” At this, I hugged and kissed her goodbye.

DP

Published on May 17, 2011 in anal, analingus, bdsm, blow jobs, consensual non-consent, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, dom, dp, horny, kink, libido, masturbation, nipple clamps, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, poly, prostate massage, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I’m a naughty girl and terribly behind in my blogging again. I took notes for two of the three encounters I’ve enjoyed since midweek, but fleshing them out has taken a backseat.

Last Wednesday I had a night alone with MasterDoc and he put the easier nipple clamps on (i.e., not clover clamps). I got into the pain. It wasn’t as unbearable as the clover clamps. He pinched and twisted them, too and placed the clamps’ chain between my teeth. The problem with that was I had to hold my head up off the pillow to reach the chain and a sore neck was not the intention.

I should mention that MasterDoc is a considerate Dom. If I speak up about something I’d like more of than we’ve been doing, he will take my wishes under consideration – and often the item at hand will come up in our sex soon after. The nipple play was a recent request – I’m not sure why that became something he didn’t really do for a while. Such things happen. I’ve also mentioned that I love his talking dirty to me. He did that on Wednesday and said he liked having my body to play with. I just swooned into his arms. He very nearly could have made me come there.

My neck was bothering me, and my body sore and tired from exercise and a long day, so we shifted to me using the Siri vibe on myself since needed to lay flat for a while. MasterDoc touched me to add that fabulous element to my masturbation, but in some respects he was too gentle. I missed the raw dirty talk he had been giving me just a short time before. That night, I had a hard time with getting and staying aroused. I blame the fatigue. I did come. Just not the way I usually do.

He fucked from on top with the blindfold on and while I suppose I often find that hot, I found that not being able to see him reduced my arousal. Phooey. As I’ve said, these things happen.

He fucked me doggy style next. Again I had problems getting and staying aroused. But he managed to push me to orgasm before we were through. Sometimes the push was verbal – yay more dirty talk! Finally, I helped him come via massaging his thighs and ass, then licked his asshole like he likes and finally finished things off with a prostate massage.

It’s kinda funny now to think that analingus was a hard limit when I filled in a bdsm checklist when I first met MasterDoc.

Saturday night we had fabulous sex that lifted me from the mild depression I was in. I didn’t take notes. My sieve-like brain can’t remember details. Yeah I suck. But the sex was awesome and you will just have to trust me. Unfortunately, when we went back to hanging out after the sex my mildly depressed and rather withdrawn mood returned. Ordinarily there would have been another round, but I felt so tired from the depression that I wasn’t up to it.

On Sunday, we had over another Dom who contacted MasterDoc on fetlife after reading my profile where I say that if a Dom wants to play with me, they should contact my Dom as it’s his decision. This was perfect timing since we’ve come to realize that I need someone to play with so I get enough sex – and that totally vanilla sex probably wouldn’t work for me for an ongoing fuck buddy situation. I have a high sex drive, and while MasterDoc certainly does too, he likes variety and dates or fucks various women so his high libido is shared with many.

Well this other Dom is a very attractive guy, in his 40s, and really into rough sex and being down and dirty. I don’t usually go for athletic builds (it’s not on my list of must have criteria in a man, though it’s certainly not a deal breaker or anything) but I have to say I do appreciate the lean, muscled body this Dom has developed. He has experience wrestling and uses it to good effect in a bdsm setting. But perhaps I’m jumping ahead…..

MasterDoc had me sitting on floor at his feet when “another Dom” came in. (I need a pseudonym for him.) DeeDee answered the door in her sexy maid’s outfit – I find the maid outfit embarrassing on me, but DeeDee loves the theatricality of it.

We talked for a bit – mostly he and MasterDoc – and then MasterDoc indicated we should adjourn to the bedroom. I don’t get MFM threesomes often, and damn I enjoy them. MasterDoc had me start off by sucking his cock. During this he invited the guy over to grab my ass. (I was in a bra and sexy black slip.) The other guy slapped my ass – hard! He seems to have a heavier hand than most. Not sure I can handle such hard hits, which I spoke up about of course, as did MasterDoc and the guy laid off the hard spanks.

This guy goes for the gusto when having sex and after just a brief bit of dirty talk in my ear, he went for my pussy and decided to see if I truly do squirt. His fingers made me come in no time. Of course I held off until MasterDoc told me to come. I squirted a whole lot. The throe was soaked.

Next I sucked the new guy’s cock. There was lots of gagging, with saliva flowing. He spit on my face – the first time I’d ever experienced it. I wasn’t sure if I’d like it but I did find it kinda hot. MasterDoc was uncomfortable that something as edgy as spitting would be brought in without negotiation (I concur). That got addressed a bit later.

MasterDoc fucked me while I sucked the guy’s cock. This was Hot! (With a capital “h”) Then they switched and the other guy fucked me while I sucked MasterDoc’s cock. (Again, hot with a capital “h.”) Next the guy fucked me up the ass (I seem to be making this “anal upon first meeting” thing a habit.) He made me come a whole lot while fucking my ass.

I can’t even begin to estimate how many times I came that evening.

We took a break, but as dinner had not yet arrived, after a conversation on limits we went back for more. MasterDoc suggested we try double penetration – I’ve never experienced it, just frustrating attempts. MasterDoc lay on the bed, I got on top of his cock, then the other guy went to work his cock into my ass. It was still hard to get proper angle – my butt’s a bit sore from where it was poked before he got it in. But the struggling was brief, and holy shit it worked! It felt… like I was being fucked in two holes at once. I know that sounds self-explanatory but it’s the only way I can think to describe it. While I felt quite filled it wasn’t uncomfortable like I had worried it would be. Both orifices expanded to make each penetration comfortable in and of itself. As they both fucked me I just kept on coming over and over. Good, primal, grunting and screaming orgasms.

After a break for dinner, the guy was up for one more fuck. We went into the bedroom and I sucked his cock, gagging on it. He had me lay on the bed and he fucked me from on top. He pinned me down – there’s that wrestler skill! – and fucked me like there’s no tomorrow. Dude is in shape. I couldn’t believe how long he fucked me at a hard, relentless pace. Most guys can’t do that. Of course, I loved it. He put his hand on face from time to time, holding my head to the side while he continued to fuck me. This was hot and would inevitably make me come harder. I began to wonder which of us would ask to stop first. He did, but I was pretty fucked-out by that time myself.

Since this went well, I’m free to schedule casual fucks with this guy when I have free time. Neither of us has a lot of free time, and who knows how often it will coincide, but it’s nice to think there’s another cock out there I can call on when I need something extra – a cock that comes with rough sex.

Sunday Threesome

Published on April 17, 2011 in anxiety, attraction, bisexuality, blow jobs, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, sex, slut, swinging, threesome and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Last Sunday (yes it has taken me a week to write this) MasterDoc and I had a threesome with a playmate he’s met recently. She’s very bi, very comfortable with swinging and is basically a laid back sort of woman.

One of my issues that comes up with having a partner who is significantly older than me is my own ageism. MasterDoc is 18 years older than me, and sometimes he finds sex partners close to his age. (DeeDee is close in age to him.) Until shortly before I met MasterDoc I wouldn’t have dreamed of dating someone not within about 5 years of my age. I’ve realized that’s stupid now, but still ageism creeps in. I find it happens more with women than men, and I think this whole stupid thing is something I picked up from our culture at large.

Our playmate on Sunday was a woman around MasterDoc’s age. I think he hesitated to have me join them at first since he knows I can be so weird about age sometimes. But I’m trying to overcome that, because, as I’ve said three times already, it’s stupid.

Something I’ve noticed about women in their 50s is that while facially they look older than women in their 30s (my current decade) their bodies aren’t significantly different. The skin on our faces is exposed to sunlight often, but bodies are covered most of the time we’re outside (our hands are like our faces). So the skin ages differently.

Women in their 50s are often quite attractive still, but in this society women past childbearing age are throwaway. (As are other types of women like sex workers, the disabled, women of color, etc. After a certain age pretty much everyone becomes throwaway in this society.) Aging is portrayed as making men look “distinguished” but women look “old.” It’s taken a long time for female actresses to continue to get work over 40, but it seems to happen more often these days.

All this explication to say that I was anxious I’d have an ageist reaction, but when I shut up the stupid prejudices in my head, I had a good time. (I didn’t have an ageist reaction when I met DeeDee, so it doesn’t always happen.)

Something else that went right is that I was able to focus on MasterDoc’s fun and pleasure much more than in the past and not be as selfish. As his friend sucked his cock, I stroked his chest and did whatever I could to add to his experience – and didn’t get some resentful, selfish attitude in my head. He rewarded me by making me come from grabbing my hair.

The configuration shifted, and she sucked on my nipples (yum!) while he worked her over. I was getting hot and MasterDoc realized that if he reached his other hand over to grab my ass, that he could probably get the two of us women to come at the same time. He was right as usual. Now while he can make me come without genital stimulation, it’s more fun and intense when stimulation is involved.

MasterDoc asked me to get Alexis (our playmate) ready to fuck. I played with her clit, which she thanked me for. While MasterDoc fucked her, I worked my arms to exhaustion playing with his ass during fucking (I mean really, try to put pressure on someone’s ass muscles as they thrust toward and away from you alternately!)

Thankfully, after he fucked her for a while I got some direct attention. He fingered me to orgasm then switched off to our guest fingering me. MasterDoc helped me keep coming by giving me the command to come.

I was hoping to get fucked too, but I didn’t get a chance as my body was exhausted from stepping up my exercise recently, and exhaustion led to be being excused instead of getting the fucking I on some level wanted anyway. As much as I would have liked to go on, my shoulders were killing me. I moseyed off to the living room. I could hear them having a great time in the bedroom. I felt some jealousy flare up but I took the time to explore it. Jealousy usually comes from insecurity for me, and I know full well that MasterDoc is just playmates with this woman. I didn’t have any practical reason to feel jealous. And the two of them DID make me feel really good until I faded out. While I wish I had gotten more action during the threesome (my usual concern) I was actually too tired to continue. Plus MasterDoc had fucked me the prior two days in a row. Overall, right after the threesome I felt that I had had a very good time.

The next day, however, I did feel some unhappiness over the fact that in a threesome with him, me and another woman, I often feel overlooked. It makes it hard for me to feel my usual (high!) level of sexual enthusiasm when it comes to threesomes. This is something I’m still struggling with. Perhaps I need to do more threesomes with two MEN.

Busy Beaver, Part Two

Published on April 3, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, cunt, D/s, edge play, fire cupping, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, needle play, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

After work the next evening, Blondie was slated to come over to play with me and MasterDoc. The two of them had been hatching plans. She was curious to learn catheterization, and Doc, having training in such things, showed her how to do it – on my urethra.

They didn’t start with that, thankfully.

After dinner, they hid in the playroom to set up their diabolical plans. As I sat in the living room with DeeDee, she informed me that I’ve been having terrible abdominal pain, and that’s why I was there to see the “doctors.” Uhm hum. She then started teasing me, being an office manager Dom harassing me about my insurance not going through. It was pretty funny.

The doctors called me in to their examining room. After a brief consultation about the abdominal pains I didn’t know enough about to describe. (I think I’m terrible at medical role play.) I was told to get undressed, and I joked about keeping my socks on – after all, even the gynecologist lets me keep my socks on. I lay down on the bed, which had the Liberator wedge on it to tilt my pelvis up. The doctors started with some suction pump on my tits. It was uncomfortable but bearable. Then the lady doctor (Blondie, who in real life knows acupuncture) showed MasterDoc how to do fire cupping. This is a technique used in Chinese medicine. Glass “cups” (kinda shaped like round jars, with a lip) have a flame (alcohol-soaked cotton ball on fire) run around the inside of them and then the cups are promptly placed on the flesh – it forms a vacuum.

I soon had both nipples, my stomach, and my thighs being sucked uncomfortably into the cups. As the pressurized flesh turned purple, I was afraid of bruising. (The last time I had fire cupping done was for acupuncture, and it looked like I had been sucked on by an alien creature for about a week.) This morning there isn’t much in the way of marks. Blondie placed one of the big cups over my pussy and it sucked my labia in. It felt strange to me, Blondie likes the sensation. It didn’t bother me but it didn’t arouse me either.

They moved on to needles – acupuncture needles are easy to handle. MasterDoc wanted to use some of our regular hypodermic needles for play, but I was happy to just have the very thin acupuncture needles pressed into my flesh. The points on my ear hurt, but otherwise there was no problem. Blondie taught MasterDoc acupuncture needling. She also showed him how to put moxa on the ends of a few needles and then light it to add heat to them.

Chinese medical play finished, they got me laying over the wedge so my pelvis was tilted. Unfortunately I kept slipping down the shape and putting pressure on my poor neck. MasterDoc went to use a speculum to open me up. It hurt though, but I should put in an aside for new readers that back in 2005 I was assaulted by someone using a speculum on me in a sexual situation who then didn’t stop when I told them to. I was traumatized. I just can’t get into specula in a sexual situation. I can tolerate them at the gyno office, but last night it was more triggering. MasterDoc knows this part of my history (as does Blondie), so he of course didn’t pursue it when I said it hurt too much. He knows that he has enough experience inserting specula that it wasn’t his technique, it was my history that caused the pain and anxiety.

Writing about that just now felt more triggering than it did last night. MasterDoc handled the situation well and I was able to just move on. Next, came the catheterization. MasterDoc explained what he was doing while he was doing it. It was terribly uncomfortable (to me) to have that thing slide into my urethra. Once in place it was bearable, but I’m just not someone turned on by urethral stimulation (though others are). They drained my bladder into a cup. I can see how this is hot for some people, the control over a basic bodily function like that, but I haven’t as of yet gotten into it.

Over the course of the night it became clear that medical play mostly isn’t my thing, but since they were enjoying it, I was able to submit and let them have their fun. I knew something I’m into would come along sooner or later. Blondie picked up on how the medical play just doesn’t do it for me (for the most part). If I were to choose a role play scenario I’d probably choose something like the king and the serving girl, or the professor and naughty student. Or the slut and the random strangers who take her and ravish her. Or being kidnapped, bound and molested.

The magic wand got brought out at this point, and Blondie used it on my clit while MasterDoc fingered my pussy. They forced tons of orgasms out of me. Orgasms and squirt. Huzzah! See, I knew there would be something for me. We took a break after.

Blondie wanted to feel the fire cupping on her pussy too, so MasterDoc tried his hand at it. After a few failed attempts he got it to suction on to her pussy – pulling her labia out into this beautiful flower shape. We called DeeDee in to take a look, and I tried taking photos. The photos didn’t come out well though since the glass of the cup reflects too much light. Blondie liked how it felt and I used the magic wand vibrating on the cup attached to her pussy. She loved the feeling. After a while she agreed that it was probably best to release her swollen labia, and they remained swollen for the rest of the evening! It was something to behold.

MasterDoc made Blondie come, and I loved cuddling and caressing her upper body, enjoying the intimacy of being part of her orgasm. We got some cuddling in and I realized how much I had missed cuddling her.

Blondie did some rope bondage on me (something MasterDoc isn’t good at) and I loved the rope. She did a simple harness (not quite snug enough since I’m new to it and she didn’t want to have it too tight). MasterDoc grabbed me and kissed me while she worked on the harness. She also showed me how to do an easy tie to create a sort of spreader bar of rope between one’s ankles. It was very short (we don’t exactly have a good stash of rope around here). We tried getting me into position to fuck and unfortunately the ankles needed to be undone. But MasterDoc then fucked me from on top while I still wore the rope harness, and Blondie tortured my nipples during this. I got to come very hard again.

MasterDoc wandered off for a bit. Blondie and I cuddled and chatted. It was getting late and she planned to head home. MasterDoc, ever the gentleman, walked her to the subway.

I was very happy. And very satisfied. I’m feeling wiped out today from all my adventures.

Nadia’s Surprise

Published on February 1, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, cunt, D/s, edge play, flogging, horny, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, needle play, nipple clamps, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, poly, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, sybian, threesome and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

MasterDoc informed me on Saturday that he had a surprise planned for me on Sunday. I looked forward to it, but at the same time I was horny and wanted to fool around! I had to be patient Saturday night, but it paid off on Sunday. You see, my surprise was Blondie coming over so the two of them could top me. Rowr.

They decided amongst themselves to do a medical scene. MasterDoc got two of his white lab coats and they each put one on. They took me into the bedroom and secured me spread eagle with the under bed restraints. I giggled a lot as they spoke as if they were doctors who were going to treat me. Apparently the treatment was for the fact that I hadn’t had an orgasm since Thursday.

But before I’d get an orgasm, they played around with clamps and clothespins. When the clover clamps were removed from my labia a few minutes later I let out a scream. Blondie seems noticeably more sadistic than MasterDoc. He had warned me a long time ago that female Doms were vicious. Blondie put a clothespin on my nasal septum – ow! You should have heard me begging to have it taken off. “Ow! Ow! Please take it off! Please take it off! I can’t take it! Please take it off!” I don’t care if that makes me sound like a wimp, it hurt like a motherfucker! After a good amount of torture (including clamps strung from my nipples to my labia) MasterDoc took on the magic wand and made me come. I gushed a ton and it must have been amazing to watch. Unfortunately that meant my throe was soaking wet the rest of the evening.

Blondie took some photos of me in flagrante delicto while bound to the bed. I will post some here when she sends them to me.

They did so much to me and it was dizzying to get so much attention, stimulation and orgasms that I’m sure I’ll leave out parts unintentionally. I hope that if Blondie or MasterDoc read this and remember something I’ve forgotten, they will leave a comment or comments.

My arms were so sore from being held above me (not to mention the fact that I tend to tense up while in bondage and being tortured like that). They let me free and then had me get on hands and knees. MasterDoc inserted two needles into one butt cheek. Blondie, who has training in acupuncture, got to try doing needle play that day (she’s done it on the receiving end before, I believe.). Unfortunately, with her experience in solid, thin acupuncture needles, she inserted the hollow hypodermic needles very slowly. MasterDoc asked later how that was for me – if it was better than his technique. I had to say no. It prolonged the pain in a bad way – pain with the first puncture, the feeling of the needle dragging through the skin and then the pain as the needle came out the skin – and didn’t seem to increase the endorphin rush at all. There was caning. And MasterDoc fingering my ass. And probably another orgasm? As I said, the afternoon is a blur.

I got a brief rest, and Blondie came back in with her strap on. Rowr. She has a nice size cock. I knelt on the bed and she tried to enter me from behind while I sucked MasterDoc’s cock, which was right in front of my face. I had to scoot to the end of the bed and put my feet on the floor so she could get the right angle. It was fucking hot to be fucked at one end and sucking cock at the other. MasterDoc seemed particularly hard. I think I was allowed to come again during this – my brain cells have been scrambled by all the delicious orgasms.

Next, they changed ends and MasterDoc fucked me while I sucked on Blondie’s strap on. I squirted some more, worrying that perhaps I was splashing the carpet a bit. I kept slacking off on the strap on sucking and getting admonished by both of them to keep it up.

We stopped for dinner, which was perfect timing. I was exhausted by this time!

After dinner, I was given the pleasure (“job” didn’t seem the right word) of warming up Blondie for a ride on the sybian. I had her on the bed, fingering her cunt. MasterDoc came in and took over and I started sucking on her tits while he fingered her. The girl let out some of her usual piercing screams of pleasure. In MasterDoc’s building I worry less about neighbors being disturbed by orgasmic shouts – as long as it’s not late at night.

We moved to the living room and I sat in front of Blondie while she rode the sybian. She could lean on me and I got to be up close as she came. It was pretty damn amazing (as always) listening to the noises that are yanked out of a woman as she becomes very aroused and orgasms. MasterDoc ran the controls and it was definitely cool to hold her during the experience. I do have a better understanding now of why MasterDoc enjoys giving sybian rides so much.

As Blondie recovered, I asked if I could get a sybian ride. (Yeah, I know, greedy slut.) MasterDoc started warming me up, then Blondie sat on my other side on the couch and they both played with my body. MasterDoc excused himself to set up the sybian for the next ride and left Blondie warming me up. This was the first sybian ride in a while for me. Blondie gave me some hard caning while I got worked up on the sybian. I asked permission to come, and MasterDoc consulted with Blondie… and she said no I couldn’t yet! Argh! She really is too tough for me. *grin* She wanted me to grind and hump the machine so I gladly obliged, hoping for permission to come. It was eventually granted, and I kept coming and coming and coming. I felt exhausted, but I couldn’t stop coming as long as the stimulation was there. It was kinda hot in a way. I collapsed on the floor for a while after, dazed and content.

Random Ramblings

Published on January 2, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, consensual non-consent, D/s, dating, depression, kink, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, poly, porn, sex, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I’ve struggled with depression and loneliness (and neediness) lately. (Not that this is anything new.) I got to see MasterDoc Thursday night through Sunday morning after not seeing him for a few days. I cherish my time alone with him (although I really like hanging out with DeeDee, too). I’ve felt a bit down lately about how everyone close to me (MasterDoc, DeeDee, some friends) is truly living the poly life and having fun and relationships with a few different people. I do date Blondie as well, but she’s been away and busy over the holidays. I feel bummed about going days without intimacy or physical affection (orgasms are nice too).

I read Colette’s novel Cheri recently (and The Last of Cheri) and was intrigued with the older courtesan, Lea, having an affair with the young, vain and terribly handsome Cheri. It was the sort of relationship where she taught him the arts of the boudoir, they enjoyed each others company, but knew it was never meant to last forever. I think that’s something I’d like for myself. The man needn’t be young. Experience is more desirable to me than inexperience. I don’t want a relationship that takes a lot of time and effort. I want a companion to spend time with once a week or so. I want mutual affection but not a romance.

Of course even this sort of deal requires some effort.

I think I also feel lonely lately because the chasm between my being a frequent visitor at MasterDoc’s, but not being someone who actually lives there, seems to be opening up even more for me. It’s not easy having chores at his place (AND chores at my place) but not having a bedroom that I can really consider the one I sleep in. I’m partial to the playroom because I like the bed and the fact there’s a bedside table for me there, but as it’s the playroom I can’t just make that my space while I’m there. I have a few drawers with some things in it in that room, but I don’t really have a “place.” And if I’m not scheduled to hang out with MasterDoc I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome if I hang out. I used to feel welcome all the time in his place.

I like my apartment. I like having a place to keep just as I want it, a place to decorate as I wish. But it can be horribly lonely sometimes. I’m one of those strangest of people – an introvert who doesn’t like being alone too much. I like spending time alone with others in the house. My “time alone” happens in my head when I’m not interrupted.

But the past few days I’ve been at MasterDoc’s and I haven’t been alone. He was sick with a cold when I got there, so I felt bummed that while he saw another lady the night before (I think) and DeeDee was having very audible fun with her other gentleman, that I hadn’t had anything for days and didn’t look likely to get anything from my sick and tired Dom. I find lately that even though I’m still very horny, I crave the physical affection and touch more than anything. By the next day MasterDoc was feeling a bit better. We got some alone time and he gave me marvelous orgasms.

I’m blanking out on the details, but I know it felt good. The next morning I felt a bit sore down there – not sure why I’m feeling inflamed since I can’t recall exactly what we did (I think thrusting fingers played a part), but it’s an ok kinda sore. The following night, DeeDee went out to play with our friend S and one of her guys. We put on (at my suggestion for once) theupperfloor.com and watched a couple of videos as we had dinner and started getting things moving on the couch. He took me into the bedroom and had me get ready for his cock immediately. I got laid for the first time in days. Whoo hoo! But then my irritated vag couldn’t take it and we had to stop. MasterDoc improvised and make me come til I was exhausted by rubbing my upper labia and clit, giving the vaginal opening a break. I got to suck his cock, which I love, and I keep hoping he’ll come on my face one day.

He’s tried making me come until I pass out, but it seems like I’m more of the collapsing type. It’s something else when he pushes me and pushes me, and I think that I just can’t come any more but he keeps up the stimulation and I come again. And again. I’m helpless under his hands. He’s doing a lot of this lately.

I’ve been getting itchy to try role play. Or a scene with more formalized D/s behavior and theme. I want to be taken roughly. I want that gangbang I’ve been promised.

But I’m the submissive, and while my wants do get taken into consideration, it’s not always about me. When our friend S visited, MasterDoc got her and I cuddling on either side of him on the bed in the playroom. He told us he wanted us to both suck his cock, and he had me start. It was lots of fun to watch his face while S blew him. He was clearly feeling good, and I like when he feels good.

School Girl Night

Published on December 22, 2010 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunnilingus, D/s, exhibitionism, illness, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, slut, spanking, swinging, sybian, threesome, Uncategorized and wartenburg wheel. 1 Comment

I went out to a fetish party Friday night with MasterDoc. I should probably have stayed at home since I was mildly sick, but I went just the same and have some fantastic memories. The memories will have to sustain me while I recover from getting more sick. Hopefully I haven’t gotten more people ill! It has taken me days to complete this post because I’ve just been too tired to think.

It was the usual monthly fetish party we go to, we’re gradually getting to know people and become more friendly with others which definitely improves the party. Blondie came too, and didn’t bring a play partner along like she was going to initially. I got to play with her while MasterDoc gave sybian rides and that was great. Sitting around bored sucks, having fun at a party is much better.

Also, a woman I had been talking to for about one day on a dating site mentioned going to a fetish party, and upon asking I found it was the same one I was going to. I invited her to say hello which she did. Turns out she’s quite the enthusiastic slut but I didn’t do anything with her. Unfortunately she distracted me from playing with Blondie’s tits while MasterDoc gave her a sybian ride.

I flirted some more with Sofija (as I always do at these parties) and yearned for her strap on. I grabbed at it and played around with it. I manage to flirt openly with her because the flirtation is always returned. As she hung on the shoulder of an older guy, someone different than the many other people I’ve seen her flirting with and hanging on, I told her I think she’s an even bigger slut than I am. She couldn’t deny it. Of course it’s frustrating to know this sexy woman is a slut and yet she still hasn’t done me!

Or, hadn’t done me. I’ll get to that in a bit.

I had a particularly good time since I got attention from both MasterDoc and Blondie. The two of them had me bend over a sofa in my schoolgirl outfit (there was a schoolgirl/littles kind of theme) and gave me a joint spanking. MasterDoc slipped his hand between my legs so he could hold my Lelo Siri by my clit. All the stimulation got me worked up in no time, and when MasterDoc gave me the command I came. The orgasm came to a bit of a premature end because the spanking I was getting from Blondie hurt just a little too much. While I’m a masochist, I don’t have a high pain tolerance.

I watched MasterDoc give a few sybian rides. The party host wanted one of his ladies to ride it but face the crowd. MasterDoc likes the intimacy of giving a face-to-face sybian ride, but, ever the gentleman, he did as asked. Luckily I had a stroke of inspiration and started sucking his cock while he ran the controls. Picture a hot lady riding the sybian on the floor, while MasterDoc and I sit behind her on a sofa, and I reach over to pull his cock out of his pants and start sucking it. He’s running the sybian controls over my head as I blow him.

Blondie was interested in playing and MasterDoc was happy for me to be kept busy. She took me off to a dark corner and sat me down in a wooden chair. She unbuttoned and opened my white blouse and took my tits out of my bra. (I wore white lace underwear in keeping with the schoolgirl theme.) She has a bit of a fetish for breasts hanging out of a bra that is otherwise still on. It’s certainly an easy fetish to indulge, and I find being half-dressed to be pretty sexy as well. She used our toys and ran the wartenburg wheel over my tits. Gently and then pressing hard now and then. She is definitely capable of giving more pain than I can handle. I’ll be happy for her to use that sadism on men (or women) other than me! As she touched and ran the wheel over me I twitched excitedly. She asked if I had something inside me but no, I was aroused by just the non-genital stimulation I was getting. She tucked the Siri snug into my panties so it buzzed against my clit. MasterDoc joined us and I got to come again. Lucky me!

Blondie and MasterDoc placed me over a spanking bench (unfortunately not padded!) and she started in on role playing, something MasterDoc and I don’t really do much of. She took up the naughty school girl theme, telling me she saw me on the playground lifting my skirt and showing myself to those men. She gave me a spanking for being such a naughty girl. MasterDoc, meanwhile, got the host to snag Sofija – finally she was going to use her strap on on me! I was placed kneeling on a bed, and Sofija fucked me with the dildo, first in her strap on harness, then when it came out of the harness (it’s my pussy of steel ya know) she fucked me with it using her hand. Blondie meanwhile sat in front of me with one of my dildoes and told me to suck it. MasterDoc orchestrated the whole thing and I came so hard when he told me to. I kept coming and coming and couldn’t stop. My abdominal muscles were sore after! I lay on my back to recover and I twitched for a while at even the most innocuous touch.

Blondie had to get going, so MasterDoc walked her to the subway. When he came back the party host had two, hot 18 year old women ready to ride the sybian. One went on the sybian while the other sat in front of her on a chair. The woman on the sybian ate the other girl out. Needless to say, the young hotties garnered much attention. Later, they switched roles. I marveled at how being young and in shape enables a woman to hold her legs up for a long time. I would have had to put mine down much faster. Both of these ladies were adorable and the stuff of porn movies. Seriously, it should have been filmed.

We stumbled out of there late, and I was more exhausted than I’d ever been. The next morning when I woke up to body aches in addition to the runny nose I had the day before, I knew that I had pushed myself too much by going out. But so long as I haven’t done any harm to anyone else, it was worth it.

Of Threesomes, Masturbation and Friends with Benefits

Published on November 15, 2010 in anxiety, bdsm, bisexuality, D/s, dating, DeeDee, libido, masturbation, musings, non-monogamy, poly, saajan, sex, sexuality, slut, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

As I dried off from my shower this evening, I could hear the rhythmic sounds of DeeDee getting a spanking from MasterDoc in the playroom. As you would expect in a poly household, there are times when she and MasterDoc have time alone, times when I have time alone with him, and time that we spend together (or completely on our own). Time spent alone with MasterDoc in the playroom means cuddles at minimum (and some spot worship (see para. 5 of that post), but usually orgasms, or a beating, or a good fucking or any combination thereof with things like nipple clamps, hot wax, needles, and the like thrown in sometimes for variety.

MasterDoc also uses those moments of post-orgasmic glow to address any concerns he has about your behavior as a sub. My latest lecture was how I need to be agreeable to threesomes with him and DeeDee (or any other woman for that matter) – not doing so is not an option. And I’ve been trying to sort out why over time I’ve gotten to feel uncomfortable with threesomes with MasterDoc and DeeDee. When DeeDee was new I was more able to play my part and not have any hang ups. But since becoming good friends, and her living at MasterDoc’s, I’ve come to feel awkward. Moody. Odd. I think it’s because DeeDee is, in my mind, a friend of mine and not a lover. I love her as one loves someone dear to you, but I feel strange getting into sexual situation with her there. I dunno. I also find that my insecurities are so great that if he’s paying attention to her first, I worry that I’m going to be left out completely. I tell you, threesomes are not all they’re cracked up to be. They can be hot, but sometimes one of you gets stuck diddling yourself in the corner while the real action goes on between the other two. I realize that for many that’s hot in and of itself, but I seldom diddle myself even when I’m alone these days. (That’s a contemplation for another paragraph.)

I don’t know that I have the answer, but apparently I have to find it. I do understand that sometimes a perk of being a polyamorous Dom should be getting pleasured by more than one of your subs at a time. When we’re both busy with him I suppose it’s not a bad thing as I enjoy making him feel good. Do any sub-types reading this have suggestions on getting into sexual situations (that you’d rather not get into) because your dominant orders you to? And do any of you have an idea on how to play with your dominant’s ass while he fucks someone else? The butt clenching that comes with fucking makes it pretty friggin impossible to get my fingers in there.

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Masturbation is something I did at an early age (I had my first orgasm before leaving elementary school) and did often when I was in high school. In the college dorm I got fewer opportunities, and once I was working full time I found I just didn’t have the energy to masturbate as often. With regular sex in my life, I’ve had even less interest in masturbation. A few weeks ago MasterDoc ordered me to masturbate at least once a week (preferably twice) and report back to him on it. The first two weeks I managed to remember and report in on the one time I did it each week. Last week I totally forgot. I often intend to masturbate as I’m horny a lot, but I put it off so I can do things like blog, watch a dvd, play a game on my phone. By the time I put all that away and get to bed I’m too drowsy to rub one out.

I find that I’m generally horny at the most inopportune times – like at work. Or when I have stuff to get gone at my place or MasterDoc’s. I’m already dedicated to carving out time for exercise again, so finding time for one more thing seems like too much. I don’t think I could ever have imagined that I could think of masturbation as too much work. I find that getting worked up is difficult by myself these days (not always, but often enough). Plus with the mind blowing orgasms I have with MasterDoc, why wouldn’t I prefer that? And if it seems like sex isn’t in the cards that night I think I subconsciously shut my horniness down.

Also let’s face it, sex by myself isn’t as interesting as with a partner.

I’ve kept my feelers out for more lovers to spend time with, but I spend a lot of time at MasterDoc’s and prefer it that way. I’m happy to be seeing Blondie, and for a while I was seeking a friend with benefits on a dating site but I got fed up with constant emails from guys I was totally uninterested in. Today I chatted up my old friend Saajan online. If you ever read my first blog he featured in it often. While I was in graduate school he and I were pretty regular friends with benefits. We fucked a few times after I moved in with Davey, and he came to my birthday gang bang a few years ago, but we’ve mainly lost touch. Since he is my idea of the ideal friend with benefits I decided to say hello. Why is he ideal? Well he’s extremely smart, funny, nice and someone I enjoy spending even non-sexual time with – but there has never been even the whiff of romance between us. He can fuck like a jack-hammer and is aggressive in bed. He’s the first man who made me squirt.

I don’t have a date set for a fuck with him but he was up for it. He just may be the extra cock I’m searching for right now. The orgasms won’t have the blinding quality I get with MasterDoc – orgasms with MD are kinda like an old television losing reception – my brain goes totally fuzzy and I lose all ability… to do anything really, other than come that is. I’ve gotten spoiled.