Archive for the 'swinging' Category

VIrtual Book Tour: Mia Martina’s “A Year of Sex”

Published on December 30, 2011 in bdsm, book review, dating, exhibitionism, kink, lesbian, masochism, non-monogamy, reviews, sex, sex parties, sexuality, swinging and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Welcome to the Kinky Librarian leg of the “A Year of Sex: Tales from New York City’s Erotic Underground” virtual book tour! When Mia Martina contacted me asking if I’d like to read her first book and cover it on my blog, I was intrigued. Someone had suggested to her that since I have experience in NYC sex parties that I might find her book particularly interesting, and indeed I did. I want to bug her for the scoop on just which parties these were, as she of course doesn’t identify specific parties or people.

Mia’s book starts off with the explanation that she had just split from her first boyfriend (she had been living exclusively lesbian before he came along). To distract herself from heartache and try to hasten the healing process, she decides to spend a year exploring all sorts of sex parties around New York City, where she was living at the time.

Her tales are hot, erotic and also pretty realistic. She doesn’t sugar coat how awkward parties can be sometimes, but she also shares just how debaucherous they can be. This isn’t just a collection of her erotic experiences though, it’s also a tale of growth. I feel like I’ve gotten to know Mia better through reading her book. Swinging, kink, open relationships, love are just some of the topics explored. It’s well written, not simply salacious.

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Mia a couple of times in New York. She was Miss January in the 2010 NYC Sex Blogger Calendar and attended the party. I think prior to that I met her at one of the In The Flesh readings. My first impression of her is that she’s a pretty blonde in that “girl-next-door” kind of way and also incredibly sweet. She is NOT a woman you would expect to be doing bdsm with a new couple at a sex party. I think that’s part of why her tale is fascinating. It’s also why I’m glad she has shared it. Sluts and kinksters are multifaceted people. They can be very sweet and pleasant but also get down to some dirty things. Being nice and being a perv are not mutually exclusive things, but if you read this blog you’re already familiar with that concept.

“A Year of Sex” is available currently as an ebook. It’s a quick read, but one I will want to read again.

Untitled Night Out

Published on August 7, 2011 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, couple, D/s, dom, embarrassment, exhibitionism, humiliation play, masturbation, non-monogamy, sex, sex parties, sex toys, show, slut, sub drop, swinging and Uncategorized. 3 Comments

Friday night was a particularly fun night out at the swing club. When we arrived and saw our friend who is always there on single guy nights (Veronica) she was flirty with me and MasterDoc asked, “I thought you weren’t into girls.” She said, “I’m not but I’m trying.” while looking at me. Rawr. I’d do her. Definitely. She loved my new hair cut.

A little later, MasterDoc and I were giving a show in the large room. MasterDoc really got into the powerful Dom & a submissive piece of meat mode. It was hot, but somehow lately I feel embarrassment about being slutty. It’s totally weird. Ultimately, I don’t have a problem with being made to come in front of a bunch of strangers, but I feel kinda embarrassed lately. It’s a little in a hot, humiliation-play type way, and a little in a “Oh my god I have to close my eyes and tune the audience out” way.

MasterDoc made me come. He gave a flashlight to one of the guys and so my pussy was on full display in the spotlight. I’d shut my eyes and let myself feel his hands on me, and THAT feels amazing so I just go with it. Soon, I’m coming and for me the only people there are me and him. As the orgasm subsides I crack open my eyes now and then, usually to shut them quickly.

MasterDoc made me give show with my vibe. Despite a little embarrassment I just went at it and made myself come – again with my eyes closed. I usually get myself off with some sort of clitoral vibe. I guess having my eyes closed it isn’t THAT weird for me. I usually close my eyes when we’ve a big audience.

Next he fucked me, but we knew we only had a few minutes left because the owner needed the room for something. Again, I was screaming in orgasm. This deep grunt comes out from my lower throat when I’m really in the throes. MasterDoc told me to come, but I had already started. I asked him later if he realized that, and he hadn’t. I thought the sounds I made were very different than when I’m just really turned on and wanting to come. I couldn’t hold back. Orgasm control has become a bit less important in our relationship lately. (He’s told me that if I get to the point where I just can’t help coming that it’s hot and acceptable.) I think it’s because my pussy doesn’t push his cock out like it used to. It does sometimes, but not nearly as often. (Score!)

We went to cuddle in another room. I mentioned a guy who had plopped himself down near us being cute – we had met him before and both times MD was like, “Him?” He looked a bit scruffy, but it seemed to me it’s in that “I’m a sensitive artist type guy” sort of way. Don’t know if he actually is, but that’s the look. he massaged my feet. MasterDoc leaned in and told me to play with the guy’s cock with my foot. So I started doing it through his pants. Soon, MasterDoc had granted the guy permission to rub his bare cock on my feet. I did my best to stroke his cock with both feet hanging over the edge of the bed. I’m kinda squicked by feet so it’s not hot for me, but then it wasn’t a problem for me either.

When MasterDoc went to bathroom the guy kept hitting on me, coming over and licking my toes even. When MasterDoc came back he let the guy go down on me. This guy was pretty lousy at it! I got MasterDoc to rescue me. I think perhaps that happened last time we met him there too. I hope if I see him again I remember he’s terrible at licking pussy!

MasterDoc and I cuddled for a while. I was definitely experiencing a cuddle deficiency. He was away the night before (the slut!) and we didn’t cuddle much the night before that because we had been doing a lot of cuddling and fucking over the past week. I was feeling pretty sated. (He rubbed one out not once but twice that night. As I like to tease him sometimes, “That’s pretty impressive Old Man.” The old man bit is just teasing. While he’s considerably older than me, he’s not a senior citizen (except at IHOP). But I must admit I wouldn’t expect a guy in his 50s to fuck like he does. I’m a very, very lucky woman.

We were hanging out a bit later and I heard some guy make a comment about, “She’s just some whore who hangs around here.” Hearing the “whore” comment, I figured it was about Veronica. This pissed me off. I thought, “She’s my friend, asshole. And quite frankly I don’t care if she’s earning money here. (I’ve never confirmed this, but yeah, I guess I’d be naive if I didn’t realize it.)” Anyway, she’s a sex worker, not inhuman. She’s my friend – we don’t hang out otherwise as of yet, but we’ve known her a while now from the club. So the tone of that guy’s voice irked me to no end. I’m sure he’d be all to glad to have that “whore” touch him.

Since I was happyily post-orgasmic, I sent MasterDoc off to chase women. I was content to relax and watch porn in the lounge area. I realized why women might seem like ice queen bitches at a swing club – you’re petrified to show even a polite interest because with many guys they’ll take it as actual interest. I have no trouble telling a guy, “No you can’t touch me.” but still it can be annoying. So I do my best to watch the porn and act like the single guys aren’t there.

MasterDoc was busy adding another notch in his belt of porn actresses fucked. (Alas she was a lousy lay!) Meanwhile I got hit on by cute couple. I was surprised in a way, always devaluing myself as usual. She has her hair really short like I do, and it looks great on her too. Her guy was cute and flirty but not in an oppressive way at all. Apparently they’re poly too. And she’s certainly bi. She went to use bathroom and he asked if he could make out with me. Actually, he ‘asked’ her if she’d mind if he made out with me while she was gone. She seemed a little perplexed and he clarified, “I wasn’t actually asking you I was just trying to hit on her.” (me) Rawr. We made out while she was in the restroom. She came back and sat behind him because she was feeling weirded out by the tons of single guys hovering. I don’t blame her for feeling that way. It was packed – mostly guys. We exchanged numbers and they’re certainly interested in seeing me again (and I them! Well, he wants to see me again at least.) I told them this blog address so I could even be found here.

MasterDoc came back after a long time. The couple had apparently met him once before. I’m not sure if the, “Oh you didn’t tell us your boyfriend is Doc!’ was just a surprised reaction or they were not as interested in him as me. This is a problem I’ve noticed since being in an age differential relationship. MasterDoc is an awesome guy and and awesome fuck but he is in his 50s and most of his attractiveness comes from his confidence, warm personality, and large cock. And his intelligence and his sense of humor and, well, his large cock that fucks me so well. A foursome with us and that couple would be so hot. I don’t get the sense it will happen, but a girl can fantasize.

Anxiety is Not a Good Party Guest

Published on July 30, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, crazy, D/s, depression, dom, embarrassment, emotions, libido, mental illness, neurosis, sex, sex parties, sex toys, stress, swinging, sybian and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

When I have a bout of angst and body issues, I sure know how to do it up.

MasterDoc and I went to a private party last night. We had partied at this person’s house before, he’s someone MasterDoc has known in the scene for many years. You’d think with my recent weight loss I’d feel like hot shit and all sort of confident. Last time I went to a party there (a couple of summers ago) I had a great time and ate out some cute woman by the edge of the pool among other things. You would think that I’d run with more abandon now that I’m not quite the “fat chick” anymore.

You would think that, but you would be wrong.

This time, there seemed to be a preponderance of hot, young people there. So many pretty women I’d gladly have made out with, but because of my overwhelming anxieties I didn’t get anywhere close. Instead I just saw many of them make out with each other as I yearned from the sidelines.

Social anxiety is something I often have, but I had long prided myself on being the first person naked at a sex party. Talking to strangers is hard, but getting naked and fucking them is not so hard. But last night I was convinced that I look worse now than when I was much heavier. The sagging skin I have from the weight loss got blown out of all proportion in my mind. The fact that I’m nearly 40 and so many women there were in their 20s intimidated the hell out of me. They were fit, with perky breasts. I felt like I’d look horrible in comparison. My clothes were on way more often than they were off.

To add to my mishegos was the fact that many of them seemed to know each other and were comfortable flirting with each other or just diving in. I felt like I was invisible much of the night. I’m sure MasterDoc was right when he told me it was because of the vibe I was giving off. But at the time I was convinced it was because I’m ugly and no one had the least amount of interest in me.

The evening started off okay. I felt awkward from second one, but I chatted lightly with a few people. I’m sure, however, that my social discomfort was showing already. I felt better when MasterDoc and I made out in the corner while two of the guests were serenaded with “Happy Birthday.” I had mentioned that I felt clingy emotionally, and early in the evening it sounded like he and I would get some quality time together, at least for part of the evening. He and I had had some cuddles alone earlier. At one point he took me into a bedroom and we stepped over the people getting it on on the floor and he fingered me to orgasm on the bed. Soon, the couple on the floor were taking over the bed, and as the woman was a pretty, young, firm-bodied blonde I felt soooooo intimidated. I felt like I must look like a sack of shit next to her.

What’s so bizarre is that my sense of attractiveness see-saws like crazy lately. When I did my make up for the evening I felt awesome. Put me around young, hot people I don’t know, and that crumbled. And not everyone there was hot or young. But somehow in my mind I was the ugliest thing on earth.

Things took another wrong turn when I thought perhaps MasterDoc and I were going to really play, but he got distracted setting up the sybian. I truly have grown to fucking hate that machine. It feels amazing to ride, but you try going to party after party with it and sitting around bored and ignored while your Dom gives women rides. I wouldn’t care if people just used it themselves and we merely provided it. But as it gets used at parties now, I HATE that thing.

MasterDoc didn’t mean anything by getting distracted. He has ADD and truly can’t help it most of the time. But in my mental state I just shut down. “Oh this is yet another party where I’m going to be ignored.” When my mood became apparent, MasterDoc focused his attention on me, but then that made me feel like it was just a case of, “Here Nadia, take your vibe, get yourself off while I watch. That will shut you up for the rest of the night.” I could not get into it at all. My view of it was terribly skewed, but arousal was not possible when I felt like such a troll.

Rather than watch the sybian rides and feel bored and left out, I took off on my own. I sat and did stuff on my phone, realizing that if there was any time I was giving off a “Don’t talk to me vibe,” it was probably then. Meanwhile, I would have been thrilled if someone talked to me. A young guy did for a bit. I wasn’t into him and I doubt very much he was into me, but he was at least friendly and nice, so I did my best effort to be chatty and friendly. It was a nice break from sitting alone.

MasterDoc had asked me to check in with him now and then, so I went to the basement and waited until he finished giving a sybian ride, checked in, and then went upstairs. I felt like eating. I mostly stuck to fruit but I had more cake than I should have. I wanted to drown my feelings in food. (Now you see how I got fat in the first place!) I felt so awful about myself, that I didn’t even go for a dip in the pool – and I love swimming. Late in the evening most people were walking around naked or semi-naked and I still had my sun dress on. I felt conspicuous, but I figured I look much better with my clothes on these days. And no one was giving me a second glance.

Yeah, the evening mostly sucked because I was filled with anxiety. What a waste. This morning I could see how I was blowing my body issues out of proportion. Sure, the loose skin is not attractive, but it’s also not as noticeable as I think it is. But around young 20-something women with the perkiest tits this side of the Mississippi, I feel ugly.

One funny point, although I’m not 100% sure that what I thought took place did. I was a bit intoxicated and a few feet away. But some guy started talking to this chubby woman and somehow seemed to think she was the “kinky librarian.” He mentioned seeing the name on the list, and wondering who that was, he wanted to meet her. I think that woman let him believe she was me. And you’d think someone pretending to be me would boost my self-esteem. It was very strange. I was tempted to go over and introduce myself, but then I wasn’t quite sure what went on in that conversation. So, dude, if you’re reading this, I was the mopey, tall brunette who stayed dressed most of the evening.

There was a break in the sybian rides, and MasterDoc and I found a room to be alone in. I got some cuddles, but pointed out that what would have been even better is if he had brought our toy bag along and fucked me silly. He noticed the condoms on the bedside table, and pointed out that we could still have fun without all our accoutrements. He fucked me silly. I was screaming in orgasm. It’s a wonder the whole house didn’t come up to see. He kept me coming and coming and suddenly my body issues melted away while I was enveloped in orgasm. Alas, they came right back after. But he made me feel spectacular, and the sex was the redeeming feature of the evening.

July 4th Weekend

Published on July 5, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, drunk, exhibitionism, forced orgasm, masochism, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, swinging, the wrestler and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Yup, I’m the lame-ass sex blogger who keeps finding it hard to sit down and write. I’ve had adventures this past weekend and only now I’m sitting down to record it. The details are probably fuzzy, but I hope I’ll still manage to convey the fireworks I enjoyed – all of them indoors.

Sunday night I enjoyed a purely sexual, purely casual encounter. The wrestler came over for our first encounter without MasterDoc. MasterDoc was supposed to go out with DeeDee for the evening but they both stayed home after all so they were off in the living room while I was getting it on. I reveled in having a guy come over for hot fucking but without any other sort of relationship attached. (Don’t get me wrong, relationship sex is awesome too. This is just enjoyable for its own sake.) He’s still damn hot. I mentioned our sex toys as we went into the bedroom, he said, “I don’t need sex toys. I use my body, my hands, those are my sex toys.” Rawr.

We got naked and he quickly had me pinned to the bed. This simple act is enough to get me hot. I let him know that MasterDoc decided he didn’t want the wrestler spitting on me (something he did last time without negotiating, I enjoyed it but certainly MasterDoc’s directions on this will be followed). He grumbled a little, but he heeded the request.

He does a phenomenal job just taking me – the kind of sex I so often fantasize about. He straddled my chest and I flicked my tongue over his balls when they got near. I love playing with someone who likes that I’m a dirty slut. I lapped at his balls and cock. He uses his body to keep me still (not that I’m trying to get away, mind you) while doing nasty things to me. He wrapped his legs around one of mine and fingered me to orgasm over and over again. If I believed in god I’d thank it for such an awesome ability to orgasm.

He fucked me from behind and pretty much climbed on top of me. He pushes his cock in as far as it will go, and as he’s lean that’s pretty much to the base. I joked afterward that I didn’t know why I was so tired, all I did was lie there and orgasm. He fucked me from on top, pinning my arms down with his and my legs with his. It is quite an experience.

We took a break since it was hot and, well, he had certainly been exerting himself. We chatted a bit, kinda awkward with someone you don’t really know and don’t intend to have a relationship with. But sex often requires a bit of a rest break. (The kind I have does anyway.) During the break he thanked me for the “very flattering” post on him last time.

Then he said, “Ok, enough of this, why don’t you come over here and suck my cock.” Oh yeah.

There was lots of gagging, lots of rough stuff. At one point, I could feel the bile rise from my stomach as he kept his cock thrust down my throat and I gagged. I felt all subby. It’s nice to experience such physical, rough sex since not everyone is in shape for it. (Heh, I told the wrestler that it’s good I didn’t meet him 60 lbs ago – I don’t think I would have been able to handle the pounding.) He fucked me up the ass, plowing into me like no one has before. Jesus. It felt great but I kept worrying that I’d end up with a perforated bowel. (Ok, not really but the thought entered my mind.) I was body sore the next day like I often am from exercising. I know it’s from such physical sex Sunday night. My back was a bit sore, and for next time I need to tell him to be careful with my wrist since it’s been finicky since I sprained it a while back.

But it was fun. And I came so hard and for so long that I couldn’t help but shake the depression that had been hounding me all weekend.

The night before that, Saturday, I went out to the swing club with MasterDoc for the first time in a while. I had mixed feelings about going out. I had only just complained to him that it had been a while since we went out, (we stayed in the night before) but then I was struggling with a depression that made me a bit antisocial. Also, Saturday nights at the club are couples only (and single women, there actually was one there!) so I was concerned that I’d just feel like the lure to get MasterDoc pussy. (And he’d say, “What’s wrong with that?” He thinks it’s my duty as his sub to get him pussy. I am just not good at that sort of thing. Any other subs reading this responsible for helping get pussy (or cock) for your Dom?)

Despite my earlier mood, I managed to be fairly social. (Alcohol helped.) We chatted with a cute, young Australian couple, and then a sexy Colombian woman we had met at a private party a few years back. (I didn’t recognize her at first, but she remembered MasterDoc having the sybian!) Everyone was nice and friendly, but but no one seemed particularly interested in us. I was chatty and complimented MasterDoc often, but it didn’t help ultimately. Elusive Pussy 1, Nadia 0.

I convinced MasterDoc to go make our own fun. I was so horny by this point. Dancing and moving my body to salsa plus the alcohol in my bloodstream led me to rub my ass up against MasterDoc’s crotch. He took me into the room with the large bed and fucked me hard after I lavished oral love on his cock. A new couple came in and fucked nearby, enjoying themselves but mostly the guy was enjoying watching me. I came screaming and squirted all over the bed. After, MasterDoc went to bathroom telling me, “Don’t get into trouble while I’m gone young lady.” The couple moved over to the bed and I apologized for the wet spot. The woman said, “Oh it’s okay it just means you were enjoying yourself!” as they found a dry spot. I was still naked and I figured playing with myself wasn’t getting into trouble. The guy of the couple was digging it. When MasterDoc returned he made me squirt again via his tongue and fingers since the guy was eager to see it. Alas, the couple left because they were getting pelted with my squirt as I came and MasterDoc slapped my pussy. They didn’t seem offended by it, they just understandably didn’t want to get sprayed with a stranger’s bodily fluids.

Having had just a little too much to drink, I rested on a sofa while MasterDoc went off “perving.” (Seeing what else was going on in the club.) That couple from the bedroom showed up again. She was an enthusiastically sexual Latina and he was a very fit black guy. Dude was eager to see my pussy again, and he gently spread my legs while MasterDoc was there. Rowr. He played with my pussy for a bit while his girl sucked him off. Since it was getting late, I had to excuse myself and go use the bathroom before we headed out. But when I came back MasterDoc was fingering the Latina while she went down on her boyfriend. I made my pussy available again to try to “be a good submissive” and help prolong MasterDoc’s play. He decided to stop after a few moments since it was so late.

We got home 4 am and I crashed hard. But I had enjoyed myself thoroughly.

DP

Published on May 17, 2011 in anal, analingus, bdsm, blow jobs, consensual non-consent, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, dom, dp, horny, kink, libido, masturbation, nipple clamps, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, poly, prostate massage, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I’m a naughty girl and terribly behind in my blogging again. I took notes for two of the three encounters I’ve enjoyed since midweek, but fleshing them out has taken a backseat.

Last Wednesday I had a night alone with MasterDoc and he put the easier nipple clamps on (i.e., not clover clamps). I got into the pain. It wasn’t as unbearable as the clover clamps. He pinched and twisted them, too and placed the clamps’ chain between my teeth. The problem with that was I had to hold my head up off the pillow to reach the chain and a sore neck was not the intention.

I should mention that MasterDoc is a considerate Dom. If I speak up about something I’d like more of than we’ve been doing, he will take my wishes under consideration – and often the item at hand will come up in our sex soon after. The nipple play was a recent request – I’m not sure why that became something he didn’t really do for a while. Such things happen. I’ve also mentioned that I love his talking dirty to me. He did that on Wednesday and said he liked having my body to play with. I just swooned into his arms. He very nearly could have made me come there.

My neck was bothering me, and my body sore and tired from exercise and a long day, so we shifted to me using the Siri vibe on myself since needed to lay flat for a while. MasterDoc touched me to add that fabulous element to my masturbation, but in some respects he was too gentle. I missed the raw dirty talk he had been giving me just a short time before. That night, I had a hard time with getting and staying aroused. I blame the fatigue. I did come. Just not the way I usually do.

He fucked from on top with the blindfold on and while I suppose I often find that hot, I found that not being able to see him reduced my arousal. Phooey. As I’ve said, these things happen.

He fucked me doggy style next. Again I had problems getting and staying aroused. But he managed to push me to orgasm before we were through. Sometimes the push was verbal – yay more dirty talk! Finally, I helped him come via massaging his thighs and ass, then licked his asshole like he likes and finally finished things off with a prostate massage.

It’s kinda funny now to think that analingus was a hard limit when I filled in a bdsm checklist when I first met MasterDoc.

Saturday night we had fabulous sex that lifted me from the mild depression I was in. I didn’t take notes. My sieve-like brain can’t remember details. Yeah I suck. But the sex was awesome and you will just have to trust me. Unfortunately, when we went back to hanging out after the sex my mildly depressed and rather withdrawn mood returned. Ordinarily there would have been another round, but I felt so tired from the depression that I wasn’t up to it.

On Sunday, we had over another Dom who contacted MasterDoc on fetlife after reading my profile where I say that if a Dom wants to play with me, they should contact my Dom as it’s his decision. This was perfect timing since we’ve come to realize that I need someone to play with so I get enough sex – and that totally vanilla sex probably wouldn’t work for me for an ongoing fuck buddy situation. I have a high sex drive, and while MasterDoc certainly does too, he likes variety and dates or fucks various women so his high libido is shared with many.

Well this other Dom is a very attractive guy, in his 40s, and really into rough sex and being down and dirty. I don’t usually go for athletic builds (it’s not on my list of must have criteria in a man, though it’s certainly not a deal breaker or anything) but I have to say I do appreciate the lean, muscled body this Dom has developed. He has experience wrestling and uses it to good effect in a bdsm setting. But perhaps I’m jumping ahead…..

MasterDoc had me sitting on floor at his feet when “another Dom” came in. (I need a pseudonym for him.) DeeDee answered the door in her sexy maid’s outfit – I find the maid outfit embarrassing on me, but DeeDee loves the theatricality of it.

We talked for a bit – mostly he and MasterDoc – and then MasterDoc indicated we should adjourn to the bedroom. I don’t get MFM threesomes often, and damn I enjoy them. MasterDoc had me start off by sucking his cock. During this he invited the guy over to grab my ass. (I was in a bra and sexy black slip.) The other guy slapped my ass – hard! He seems to have a heavier hand than most. Not sure I can handle such hard hits, which I spoke up about of course, as did MasterDoc and the guy laid off the hard spanks.

This guy goes for the gusto when having sex and after just a brief bit of dirty talk in my ear, he went for my pussy and decided to see if I truly do squirt. His fingers made me come in no time. Of course I held off until MasterDoc told me to come. I squirted a whole lot. The throe was soaked.

Next I sucked the new guy’s cock. There was lots of gagging, with saliva flowing. He spit on my face – the first time I’d ever experienced it. I wasn’t sure if I’d like it but I did find it kinda hot. MasterDoc was uncomfortable that something as edgy as spitting would be brought in without negotiation (I concur). That got addressed a bit later.

MasterDoc fucked me while I sucked the guy’s cock. This was Hot! (With a capital “h”) Then they switched and the other guy fucked me while I sucked MasterDoc’s cock. (Again, hot with a capital “h.”) Next the guy fucked me up the ass (I seem to be making this “anal upon first meeting” thing a habit.) He made me come a whole lot while fucking my ass.

I can’t even begin to estimate how many times I came that evening.

We took a break, but as dinner had not yet arrived, after a conversation on limits we went back for more. MasterDoc suggested we try double penetration – I’ve never experienced it, just frustrating attempts. MasterDoc lay on the bed, I got on top of his cock, then the other guy went to work his cock into my ass. It was still hard to get proper angle – my butt’s a bit sore from where it was poked before he got it in. But the struggling was brief, and holy shit it worked! It felt… like I was being fucked in two holes at once. I know that sounds self-explanatory but it’s the only way I can think to describe it. While I felt quite filled it wasn’t uncomfortable like I had worried it would be. Both orifices expanded to make each penetration comfortable in and of itself. As they both fucked me I just kept on coming over and over. Good, primal, grunting and screaming orgasms.

After a break for dinner, the guy was up for one more fuck. We went into the bedroom and I sucked his cock, gagging on it. He had me lay on the bed and he fucked me from on top. He pinned me down – there’s that wrestler skill! – and fucked me like there’s no tomorrow. Dude is in shape. I couldn’t believe how long he fucked me at a hard, relentless pace. Most guys can’t do that. Of course, I loved it. He put his hand on face from time to time, holding my head to the side while he continued to fuck me. This was hot and would inevitably make me come harder. I began to wonder which of us would ask to stop first. He did, but I was pretty fucked-out by that time myself.

Since this went well, I’m free to schedule casual fucks with this guy when I have free time. Neither of us has a lot of free time, and who knows how often it will coincide, but it’s nice to think there’s another cock out there I can call on when I need something extra – a cock that comes with rough sex.

Awesome, Awesome Night

Published on May 4, 2011 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, couple, cunt, D/s, dom, embarrassment, exhibitionism, flogging, forced orgasm, foursome, horny, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, restraints, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

On Monday night we went to the swing club since I had off the next day. On the way there, MasterDoc pulled the car over by a porn store, the type with the porn booths that MasterDoc likes taking ladies to. I was feeling easily embarrassed somehow and hoped that perhaps this wasn’t happening. But he dragged me in, I felt super shy as we nodded hello to the guy working behind the counter. We got to the booths and I figured I was in the clear when there were no people there, but he walked me back out into the store where the employees were. He stood me in front of him, ostensibly looking at a display of porn box covers and started caressing my shoulders and grabbing hold of my hair. Fuck. He knows me. He knows the slight humiliation of getting turned on in public, and how he can do that to me effortlessly, would turn me on. My body twitched a bit, giving away my increasingly aroused state.

Thankfully, we were only there a short while. In the car as we continued to the club he said, “I should have a least let the guy who works there have a grope.” I’m sure I blushed at this. At the club, we met one of our usual pals there and had a nice chit chat. Veronica is the bartender but she also amuses the single guys. After the chat, MasterDoc went to use the restroom, and I felt shy while waiting alone. If guy comes over to me, I’m never sure if flirting is okay as MasterDoc decides who I play with. I probably seem like an aloof bitch sometimes. I assure you, it’s shyness rather than bitchiness. It also stems from knowing that giving some guys the least bit of polite attention will have them pursuing you all night long.

I watched the porn on the big screen. “Hey, is that Paris Hilton?” I thought. I usually disdain Ms. Hilton, but I gained a smidgen of respect (!) as I watched her blow her boyfriend. The girl’s got skillz.

I ask for a cuddle when MasterDoc gets back and he agreed we could use a cuddle. We hadn’t seen each other in a couple of days and therefore hadn’t cuddled. The cuddle turned into a little making out and him caressing my body. It amazes me still how, with him, simply having my breasts stroked (the top part mind you, not the nipples) I can get turned on tremendously. You know, being his trained monkey who gets turned on and comes at his command isn’t such a bad thing.

The room with the king bed was busy, so we headed to the chilly back room. I was very horny already and soon didn’t notice the cool air. We cuddled, caressed each other and kissed. I love feeling his body under my hand. He had me go down on him and I enjoyed every second. He managed to truly fuck my throat at one point. It was pretty awesome. He thrust in, I could feel the ridge of his cock head press pass some spot in my throat and I have trained my gag reflex pretty well by now – I didn’t start gagging until a few deep thrusts had been achieved. A guy came in to watch sometime during this. MasterDoc had me get on hands and knees so my ass was facing the room. He showed me off, using a flashlight to highlight my pussy. I felt thrilled and embarrassed (and thrilled to be embarrassed) by the attention. He used clothespins on my labia, but I was so engrossed in being a slut on display that I didn’t pay much attention to them. He inserted the anal beads. I’ve found though that I can’t often tell exactly which toy is up my ass. I don’t seem to have the right amount of sensation for details there, but I knew I was being filled with something, He flogged me a bit, telling the guy how much I love being shown off. He had the guy hold my butt cheek out of the way one time and I could never be sure exactly whose hands were touching my cunt (I think it was always him other than the butt cheek thing). He made me come for an extended period of time and I was exhausted. Or so I thought.

We dressed and MasterDoc noticed a couple with a hot woman. He started chatting up the couple, and I joined him in being friendly. I didn’t have a problem with the guy as sometimes happens, and I was doing my best to help MasterDoc get in the hot woman’s skirt. We ended up showing them our bag of tricks. They were from out of town and friendly in that southern way. I really think I’d have better conversational skills had I been raised in the south. The woman was shy and quiet, but her man was very talkative. They seemed quite nice. MasterDoc made me come via magic wand and fingering when it came out that the guy in the couple had never seen a woman squirt. Of course I did. He thought it was awesome.

We rested on the bed, chatting with the couple as she stood against the wall and her guy sat on an ottoman. MasterDoc was doing his best to be charming and get the lady’s attention. The guy was fascinated by our toy bag and I ended up in the behind-the-back restraints. After he got them on, he told me to kneel in them, and I’m sure my struggle to get myself upright was fun to watch. He had me lean forward so that I was resting on my head and shoulders. I told him that was very uncomfortable (as ending up with a neckache is not a desirable outcome) and he told me I just had to do it for a little while. I think I was the definition of helpless with my ass in the air and hands behind my back. He let me sit, and I stayed there for a while sitting next to him with my arms behind my back. MasterDoc spread my legs and played with my cunt. He made me come again through slapping my cunt – I think he really enjoyed showing off that he could do that. The sheets were pretty damn wet by now.

I’m slowly starting to realize that a woman like me can be intimidating for a man. I don’t think of myself as intimidating, but being so in control of my sexuality (and choosing to hand that control over to MasterDoc) and so comfortable with having sex in front of people does intimidate guys. I tell you, if a slutty woman is interested in playing with you, don’t be intimidated – go for it! We love sex. Even if it’s not the most amazing sex we ever had, odds are if we’re mutually interested in fucking you we will enjoy it too. I don’t think loving sex is at all a bad thing. Religion doesn’t know what it’s talking about.

I stripped the wet sheets from the bed and we went to the main room. It seemed like the woman in the couple wasn’t too interested, but soon the guy from the couple came over and asked if I wanted to make his wife come. I’m certainly game to make an attractive woman come, and I’m sure our men would enjoy watching. Also, perhaps if this woman was warmed up MasterDoc might get somewhere with her. MasterDoc gave his assent (I’m his slut, he decides) and we adjourned to the king room again. We had to find someone to put new sheets on. There was initial awkwardness as her shyness continued and MasterDoc talked about how I’m not the aggressive type – the problem was she’s not either. She got undressed to try to move things along and I felt freer to start playing with her. Her body was perfectly toned, her augmented breasts standing up perkily. Her husband suggested I use a toy and I used my siri on her clit then worked my fingers inside. I made her come pretty damn quickly and it was fun to watch, she just about did a crab walk backwards on the bed because of the intensity of the stimulation. I totally understand why MasterDoc sometimes chuckles when I’m coming like crazy.

I took my bra off and even though this woman was pretty much our society’s ideal (except she wasn’t young) she sounded envious when she commented on how big my breasts are and how they’re real. It’s terrible how nearly all women seem to have body issues these days. She made me come next, using just her hands and MasterDoc lent a hand. I squirted again.

I felt pretty damn tired, but MasterDoc wanted to fuck and I did want his cock. I sucked him til he was hard. He played with my pussy which of course was sopping wet. He fucked me from behind while at least one guy watched and he pushed me over the edge (orgasm-wise) with relative ease. (Remember, I don’t just get to come, I need to hold back as long as I can but if he drives me crazy he won’t get mad if I come before he’s said the word.) I was totally lost in lala land during orgasm after orgasm. I can only imagine what my face looked like. I think sometime I need someone to film me coming so I can see it.

It was an awesome fuck. He kept going and going, and guess what? I squirted again. A whole lot. It was just as well I hadn’t taken the last sheet off but instead suggested to MasterDoc that we use the same room because I had already besmirched the sheet.

I was so tired (having worked all day, exercised in the evening and then came, and came and came) that I just lay there after. He had me spread my legs to show guy my pussy to the guy there while I rested. He gave guy the flashlight to get a better look.

MasterDoc nearly had to cart me home. I slept like a proverbial log that night.

As an aside, in the midst of our trying to flirt with the couple, a guy from Spain (he told us he was from Spain) appeared with two hot Mexican chicks. The guy was aggressive in trying to set something up with the couple. The women looked eager to play. I later caught sight of them making out with each other – I wanted to be in the middle of that! Sadly, this was not to be.

Sunday Threesome

Published on April 17, 2011 in anxiety, attraction, bisexuality, blow jobs, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, sex, slut, swinging, threesome and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Last Sunday (yes it has taken me a week to write this) MasterDoc and I had a threesome with a playmate he’s met recently. She’s very bi, very comfortable with swinging and is basically a laid back sort of woman.

One of my issues that comes up with having a partner who is significantly older than me is my own ageism. MasterDoc is 18 years older than me, and sometimes he finds sex partners close to his age. (DeeDee is close in age to him.) Until shortly before I met MasterDoc I wouldn’t have dreamed of dating someone not within about 5 years of my age. I’ve realized that’s stupid now, but still ageism creeps in. I find it happens more with women than men, and I think this whole stupid thing is something I picked up from our culture at large.

Our playmate on Sunday was a woman around MasterDoc’s age. I think he hesitated to have me join them at first since he knows I can be so weird about age sometimes. But I’m trying to overcome that, because, as I’ve said three times already, it’s stupid.

Something I’ve noticed about women in their 50s is that while facially they look older than women in their 30s (my current decade) their bodies aren’t significantly different. The skin on our faces is exposed to sunlight often, but bodies are covered most of the time we’re outside (our hands are like our faces). So the skin ages differently.

Women in their 50s are often quite attractive still, but in this society women past childbearing age are throwaway. (As are other types of women like sex workers, the disabled, women of color, etc. After a certain age pretty much everyone becomes throwaway in this society.) Aging is portrayed as making men look “distinguished” but women look “old.” It’s taken a long time for female actresses to continue to get work over 40, but it seems to happen more often these days.

All this explication to say that I was anxious I’d have an ageist reaction, but when I shut up the stupid prejudices in my head, I had a good time. (I didn’t have an ageist reaction when I met DeeDee, so it doesn’t always happen.)

Something else that went right is that I was able to focus on MasterDoc’s fun and pleasure much more than in the past and not be as selfish. As his friend sucked his cock, I stroked his chest and did whatever I could to add to his experience – and didn’t get some resentful, selfish attitude in my head. He rewarded me by making me come from grabbing my hair.

The configuration shifted, and she sucked on my nipples (yum!) while he worked her over. I was getting hot and MasterDoc realized that if he reached his other hand over to grab my ass, that he could probably get the two of us women to come at the same time. He was right as usual. Now while he can make me come without genital stimulation, it’s more fun and intense when stimulation is involved.

MasterDoc asked me to get Alexis (our playmate) ready to fuck. I played with her clit, which she thanked me for. While MasterDoc fucked her, I worked my arms to exhaustion playing with his ass during fucking (I mean really, try to put pressure on someone’s ass muscles as they thrust toward and away from you alternately!)

Thankfully, after he fucked her for a while I got some direct attention. He fingered me to orgasm then switched off to our guest fingering me. MasterDoc helped me keep coming by giving me the command to come.

I was hoping to get fucked too, but I didn’t get a chance as my body was exhausted from stepping up my exercise recently, and exhaustion led to be being excused instead of getting the fucking I on some level wanted anyway. As much as I would have liked to go on, my shoulders were killing me. I moseyed off to the living room. I could hear them having a great time in the bedroom. I felt some jealousy flare up but I took the time to explore it. Jealousy usually comes from insecurity for me, and I know full well that MasterDoc is just playmates with this woman. I didn’t have any practical reason to feel jealous. And the two of them DID make me feel really good until I faded out. While I wish I had gotten more action during the threesome (my usual concern) I was actually too tired to continue. Plus MasterDoc had fucked me the prior two days in a row. Overall, right after the threesome I felt that I had had a very good time.

The next day, however, I did feel some unhappiness over the fact that in a threesome with him, me and another woman, I often feel overlooked. It makes it hard for me to feel my usual (high!) level of sexual enthusiasm when it comes to threesomes. This is something I’m still struggling with. Perhaps I need to do more threesomes with two MEN.

Busy Beaver, Part One

Published on April 3, 2011 in analingus, bbc, bdsm, bisexuality, couple, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, exhibitionism, lesbian, masturbation, orgasm on command, sex toys, shio, squirting, swinging, sybian and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I have been terribly remiss in documenting my escapades this week. I missed blogging about licking MasterDoc’s ass (and how it doesn’t bother me much anymore now that I’ve tasted his pee. Ass licking is far more desirable!) We had hot sex alone a couple of times, but the details are lost to my ever-worsening memory. This is why I’m determined to tell you the tale of my weekend right now while it’s still pretty fresh in my mind.

On Friday, my day off, MasterDoc had a couple come over early in the evening. Another Dom we had played with recommended MasterDoc as someone with a sybian to another Dom/sub couple. The woman was about my age. Blonde, huge tits, attractive. The guy was older than MasterDoc by a year but looks about 10 years younger than his age. We greeted them, and sat down in the living room to chat. The woman seemed nervous. We did our best to try to put her at ease. Eventually her Dom suggested I start undressing her so I unzipped her sweater. She looked at me and asked, “Do you like girls?” I immediately and enthusiastically said, “Yes!”

This answer must have been the right one, because it soon became apparent that she had the hots for me. I’m usually so oblivious to a woman wanting me, but I picked up on this quite easily.

The first intention was to warm her up (I was to help) and then get her on the sybian. She was nervous though, and suggested I try it first. Considering I’m a veteran sybian rider I had no trouble going first to show her how amazing it is. She and MasterDoc started warming me up while her Dom, and a nice single guy MasterDoc met at the swing club watched. (He’s one of those rare finds – a single guy who knows when it’s appropriate to jump in, and when it’s appropriate to watch respectfully.)

She commented appreciatively on my tits while she played with them. MasterDoc teased me mercilessly with the magic wand until I was ready to explode. “She’s ready now,” he declared, just as I was so worked up I would have humped the sybian even if it was off!

MasterDoc gave me an intense (when is it ever not intense?) sybian ride, making me come and come like a madwoman. The crowd (which also included DeeDee, I forgot to mention that) enjoyed the show. I lay on the floor recovering for a few minutes. When I got up to wash off the attachment, I snuck off into the kitchen for an aftercare snack. MasterDoc came to check on me, and I assured him that I was fine and that I’d be in to help warm up our lady guest as soon as I could.

When I walked back into the room, MasterDoc and the lady’s Dom were working on warming her up. She was naked and I slipped my hands in to her pelvic area to massage her inner thighs, butt, groin area. Then I stroked her pussy a little and since it was wet, I slid a finger in. She enjoyed my ministrations and I added another finger, stroking her g-spot. When we declared it time for her ride, she seemed to prefer staying there with me playing with her cunt.

We got her on the sybian, MasterDoc running the controls but her Dom sitting in front of her for her to lean on. I watched from the bed beside DeeDee for a bit, but it seemed to me that our guest was having a hard time letting go. Since she was clearly into me, I figured I should get up and try to help push things along. I reached around her and pressed her clit into the machine. I grabbed her ass, played with her. The ride went on for quite a while but still she didn’t come. I could be wrong, but when she complained the intensity was too much, I got the sense it wasn’t painful so much as likely to push her over the edge – something she wasn’t ready for. She did come for a bit, but overall the ride was less orgasmic than most. She rested on the mat on the floor and beckoned me over when I indicated I wanted to lay down to rest too.

MasterDoc tried fingering her to orgasm, but oddly she wasn’t quite into it. He suggested I take over, and I had no problem making her come. It feels pretty awesome to know a woman has the hots for you and you can make her come with just your hands. I did declare after, however, that I learned my technique from the expert (MasterDoc). Her man made her come more and squirt that time. I was hot to watch.

It was getting a little late, and I had work the next morning. My last bit of encouragement went to DeeDee getting a turn next. (If you were watching all this, wouldn’t you want a sybian ride next?!?!) I don’t think she ended up on the sybian, but the nice single guy guest fucked her quite well from what I’m told. I’d be keen to play with him too, I just wasn’t feeling it that night. I tucked myself into bed and read for a bit.

Hopefully this couple (and that single guy) will come back for more play. I enjoyed myself and can see many more fun times ahead if they come back.

Rethinking Service

Published on March 14, 2011 in anxiety, bored, D/s, emotions, horny, libido, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, poly, sex, sex parties, slump, stress, submissive, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

On Saturday night MasterDoc and I went out to the swing club. We rarely go on Saturday nights, and it’s a couples-only night. The vibe is completely different than the “single guys allowed” nights we usually go to. On our usual nights, putting on a show and indulging our exhibitionist tendencies is mostly what we do. We wouldn’t object to a couple to swing with, but we realize it’s less likely on those nights. We noticed that on couples’ night the couples are “better” (to our perception at least) than the couples who come on singles nights. (What does that say about us? Heh. We like to put on a show and have me groped by random guys.)

Early in the evening, while I was feeling distinctly in the mood for some Dom/sub type of play, I focused on being the loving girlfriend in the swing situation. We had a lovely time making out for a bit. I did my best to show off how good he makes me feel in case I could pique some lady’s interest.

It was nice, but we didn’t talk to any couples and none of them spoke to us. We’re both shyer than you would think. (Not shy about nudity, shy about talking.) I started to get rather bored. When we finally went off to fool around, I found it hard to get fully aroused. I enjoyed the sweet kissing and touching, but when MasterDoc tried to make me come I had to struggle to come a while after he gave permission. I had a bout of crankiness. I just couldn’t get into the evening and my inner brat came out. I wanted rough sex when gentle sex was on the menu. I was bored and totally didn’t handle the accompanying frustration well. MasterDoc gave me a stern talking to, and I did my best to refocus and enjoy the evening. I didn’t want to ruin it for either of us.

I struggled. I was disappointed that my evening was fairly sex-free when I was craving lots of bdsm and sex goodness. I wanted an evening of fucking – wherever we were. But the sex was slow to come. When MasterDoc did fuck me, I just couldn’t get into it. He was frustrated because he thinks that I mentally set myself up to not come. I don’t think I did that, at least not consciously. The sex hurt, which seems to happen now and then lately if my cunt isn’t well warmed up first, and my cervix in particular was hyper-sensitive. I did my best mentally to get into it, and I asked him not to go too deep, but there was no way in hell I could get aroused enough to come. He told me that in swing situations I can come at will, but even after hearing his voice tell me to come, I couldn’t. I couldn’t even get close. It was a miserable experience for both of us, not because I didn’t have an orgasm, but because fucking was downright unpleasant. Our fucking is rarely short of spectacular.

The next day we discussed things, and I was feeling self-righteous and angry over my perceived reduction in sex lately with MasterDoc. (He had spent the night before with a playmate of his. They went to the club and she slept over his place.) He explained that I don’t get less sex. I’m not entirely sure that’s true, at least not back in the days before he started seeing DeeDee and his current plethora of playmates. The discussion left me depressed (just mood-wise, not illness-wise), but I did try to not let it get to me. Over time, I had to admit to myself that it was bratty of me to have a fit the night before. I started to examine my attitudes towards service to my Dom. I started looking at how I react when I don’t get what I want right away. Delayed gratification has never been my strong point.

It’s easy to serve when it’s kinky and stimulating for me. It’s much harder to be patient when he goes off with others or the goal seems to be a swap rather than sex together. I’m all for serving when and how it suits me – but I struggle with other types of service. I’m probably not the first sub to have this problem, and if any of you have suggestions let me know. I struggle with things that seem to “take away” from my time with him. I found myself craving sexual submission on Saturday night, but that’s not what my Dom needed from me.

I need to find a friend with benefits for regular fucking to augment what I get with MasterDoc. And/or a service top to play with. MasterDoc is polyamorous and will always be, so if my 38-year-old libido needs more fucking, then I need to get additional fucking elsewhere. Perhaps if I was getting laid more often then I wouldn’t get so insecure, needy and cranky.

At any rate, I realized that I needed to work on my submissive service. I need to work on submitting when it’s hard. I did my best tonight to make things easier for DeeDee who just came home and has a bunch of furniture to move in. I made dinner and cleaned up so MasterDoc and DeeDee could get stuff done. It’s a small step, but I’m going to continue to examine my service skills.

On Sunday, we had sex twice and it was just as wonderful as usual.

Sunday Swing

Published on February 20, 2011 in bbc, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunnilingus, foursome, lesbian, non-monogamy, pillow princess, sex, shio, slut, squirting, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Sunday night I was slated to hang out with MasterDoc while DeeDee had a date over. I looked forward to a quiet night alone with him in the playroom, but he was searching craigslist for something interesting. We found a younger couple looking to swing – mid to late 20s – and fairly good looking from their pictures. She’s very chubby but I often go for chubby women who are chubby in all the right places. I love curves, breasts, hips, thick thighs. The couple was nice, but not close friend material. I doubt we had a lot in common beyond swinging, but they were nice to hang out with and fuck. She was a sexy, white bbw. He was a fit black guy with a bbc. When my profession got mentioned, the guy perked up. It’s amazing how often guys have librarian fantasies.

Even I, the woman who is notorious for not being able to get things started was trying to push things along. We showed them the couple of sex toys we brought in a little case and I brought my Lelo Siri over to show the woman how strong the vibration was. She liked it. We managed to get them into the bedroom and MasterDoc started off kissing me. He had me suck his cock hard and I somehow ended up using my Lelo Soraya on the woman. The guys remained half dressed while she and I started fooling around.

MasterDoc took over the toy, and the guy came over to eat me out. I’m always pleased when a guy goes for that first, often guys who will go down on me first are better lovers. He licked my pussy while I leaned over to suck her large nipples. She was soft and lovely to kiss and we made out often in the midst of things. Neither one of them turned out to be particularly knowledgeable about fingering, but in all fairness they are in their 20s still. They both did the basic in-out-in-out I remember from sexual experiences in my early 20s or so. If we see them again maybe I can offer a tutorial. They were both enthusiastic about oral so that helped. As often seems to happen, she went down on me but I didn’t end up going down on her. (This is how I get accused of being a pillow princess sometimes, I think.)

His cock was big and he’s a fit young man – so the fucking was good and energetic. I made out with the woman while MasterDoc fucked her and her boyfriend fucked me. This is the sort of decadence I love. I’m all for pleasure. No wonder I’ve turned away from religion. I don’t think pleasure is a sin.

I sucked his cock for a long time while she went down on me. MasterDoc was disappointed that the woman didn’t seem much into it. I know how that can really put a damper on things. The guy on the other hand was quite eager to fuck me and put his cock in my mouth. Since it was a Sunday night, and I had work the next day, the evening ended fairly early. But since they lived maybe 20 blocks from us it wasn’t a long drive home. I had been in the mood for having MasterDoc alone, but I was glad that I just went with his idea to swing. I had fun.

Thankfully, we had brought the throe as I squirted all over the damn thing. I think over time I squirt more and more often. Not all the time, but frequently now.