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Busy Beaver, Part Two

Published on April 3, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, cunt, D/s, edge play, fire cupping, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, needle play, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

After work the next evening, Blondie was slated to come over to play with me and MasterDoc. The two of them had been hatching plans. She was curious to learn catheterization, and Doc, having training in such things, showed her how to do it – on my urethra.

They didn’t start with that, thankfully.

After dinner, they hid in the playroom to set up their diabolical plans. As I sat in the living room with DeeDee, she informed me that I’ve been having terrible abdominal pain, and that’s why I was there to see the “doctors.” Uhm hum. She then started teasing me, being an office manager Dom harassing me about my insurance not going through. It was pretty funny.

The doctors called me in to their examining room. After a brief consultation about the abdominal pains I didn’t know enough about to describe. (I think I’m terrible at medical role play.) I was told to get undressed, and I joked about keeping my socks on – after all, even the gynecologist lets me keep my socks on. I lay down on the bed, which had the Liberator wedge on it to tilt my pelvis up. The doctors started with some suction pump on my tits. It was uncomfortable but bearable. Then the lady doctor (Blondie, who in real life knows acupuncture) showed MasterDoc how to do fire cupping. This is a technique used in Chinese medicine. Glass “cups” (kinda shaped like round jars, with a lip) have a flame (alcohol-soaked cotton ball on fire) run around the inside of them and then the cups are promptly placed on the flesh – it forms a vacuum.

I soon had both nipples, my stomach, and my thighs being sucked uncomfortably into the cups. As the pressurized flesh turned purple, I was afraid of bruising. (The last time I had fire cupping done was for acupuncture, and it looked like I had been sucked on by an alien creature for about a week.) This morning there isn’t much in the way of marks. Blondie placed one of the big cups over my pussy and it sucked my labia in. It felt strange to me, Blondie likes the sensation. It didn’t bother me but it didn’t arouse me either.

They moved on to needles – acupuncture needles are easy to handle. MasterDoc wanted to use some of our regular hypodermic needles for play, but I was happy to just have the very thin acupuncture needles pressed into my flesh. The points on my ear hurt, but otherwise there was no problem. Blondie taught MasterDoc acupuncture needling. She also showed him how to put moxa on the ends of a few needles and then light it to add heat to them.

Chinese medical play finished, they got me laying over the wedge so my pelvis was tilted. Unfortunately I kept slipping down the shape and putting pressure on my poor neck. MasterDoc went to use a speculum to open me up. It hurt though, but I should put in an aside for new readers that back in 2005 I was assaulted by someone using a speculum on me in a sexual situation who then didn’t stop when I told them to. I was traumatized. I just can’t get into specula in a sexual situation. I can tolerate them at the gyno office, but last night it was more triggering. MasterDoc knows this part of my history (as does Blondie), so he of course didn’t pursue it when I said it hurt too much. He knows that he has enough experience inserting specula that it wasn’t his technique, it was my history that caused the pain and anxiety.

Writing about that just now felt more triggering than it did last night. MasterDoc handled the situation well and I was able to just move on. Next, came the catheterization. MasterDoc explained what he was doing while he was doing it. It was terribly uncomfortable (to me) to have that thing slide into my urethra. Once in place it was bearable, but I’m just not someone turned on by urethral stimulation (though others are). They drained my bladder into a cup. I can see how this is hot for some people, the control over a basic bodily function like that, but I haven’t as of yet gotten into it.

Over the course of the night it became clear that medical play mostly isn’t my thing, but since they were enjoying it, I was able to submit and let them have their fun. I knew something I’m into would come along sooner or later. Blondie picked up on how the medical play just doesn’t do it for me (for the most part). If I were to choose a role play scenario I’d probably choose something like the king and the serving girl, or the professor and naughty student. Or the slut and the random strangers who take her and ravish her. Or being kidnapped, bound and molested.

The magic wand got brought out at this point, and Blondie used it on my clit while MasterDoc fingered my pussy. They forced tons of orgasms out of me. Orgasms and squirt. Huzzah! See, I knew there would be something for me. We took a break after.

Blondie wanted to feel the fire cupping on her pussy too, so MasterDoc tried his hand at it. After a few failed attempts he got it to suction on to her pussy – pulling her labia out into this beautiful flower shape. We called DeeDee in to take a look, and I tried taking photos. The photos didn’t come out well though since the glass of the cup reflects too much light. Blondie liked how it felt and I used the magic wand vibrating on the cup attached to her pussy. She loved the feeling. After a while she agreed that it was probably best to release her swollen labia, and they remained swollen for the rest of the evening! It was something to behold.

MasterDoc made Blondie come, and I loved cuddling and caressing her upper body, enjoying the intimacy of being part of her orgasm. We got some cuddling in and I realized how much I had missed cuddling her.

Blondie did some rope bondage on me (something MasterDoc isn’t good at) and I loved the rope. She did a simple harness (not quite snug enough since I’m new to it and she didn’t want to have it too tight). MasterDoc grabbed me and kissed me while she worked on the harness. She also showed me how to do an easy tie to create a sort of spreader bar of rope between one’s ankles. It was very short (we don’t exactly have a good stash of rope around here). We tried getting me into position to fuck and unfortunately the ankles needed to be undone. But MasterDoc then fucked me from on top while I still wore the rope harness, and Blondie tortured my nipples during this. I got to come very hard again.

MasterDoc wandered off for a bit. Blondie and I cuddled and chatted. It was getting late and she planned to head home. MasterDoc, ever the gentleman, walked her to the subway.

I was very happy. And very satisfied. I’m feeling wiped out today from all my adventures.

Busy Beaver, Part One

Published on April 3, 2011 in analingus, bbc, bdsm, bisexuality, couple, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, exhibitionism, lesbian, masturbation, orgasm on command, sex toys, shio, squirting, swinging, sybian and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I have been terribly remiss in documenting my escapades this week. I missed blogging about licking MasterDoc’s ass (and how it doesn’t bother me much anymore now that I’ve tasted his pee. Ass licking is far more desirable!) We had hot sex alone a couple of times, but the details are lost to my ever-worsening memory. This is why I’m determined to tell you the tale of my weekend right now while it’s still pretty fresh in my mind.

On Friday, my day off, MasterDoc had a couple come over early in the evening. Another Dom we had played with recommended MasterDoc as someone with a sybian to another Dom/sub couple. The woman was about my age. Blonde, huge tits, attractive. The guy was older than MasterDoc by a year but looks about 10 years younger than his age. We greeted them, and sat down in the living room to chat. The woman seemed nervous. We did our best to try to put her at ease. Eventually her Dom suggested I start undressing her so I unzipped her sweater. She looked at me and asked, “Do you like girls?” I immediately and enthusiastically said, “Yes!”

This answer must have been the right one, because it soon became apparent that she had the hots for me. I’m usually so oblivious to a woman wanting me, but I picked up on this quite easily.

The first intention was to warm her up (I was to help) and then get her on the sybian. She was nervous though, and suggested I try it first. Considering I’m a veteran sybian rider I had no trouble going first to show her how amazing it is. She and MasterDoc started warming me up while her Dom, and a nice single guy MasterDoc met at the swing club watched. (He’s one of those rare finds – a single guy who knows when it’s appropriate to jump in, and when it’s appropriate to watch respectfully.)

She commented appreciatively on my tits while she played with them. MasterDoc teased me mercilessly with the magic wand until I was ready to explode. “She’s ready now,” he declared, just as I was so worked up I would have humped the sybian even if it was off!

MasterDoc gave me an intense (when is it ever not intense?) sybian ride, making me come and come like a madwoman. The crowd (which also included DeeDee, I forgot to mention that) enjoyed the show. I lay on the floor recovering for a few minutes. When I got up to wash off the attachment, I snuck off into the kitchen for an aftercare snack. MasterDoc came to check on me, and I assured him that I was fine and that I’d be in to help warm up our lady guest as soon as I could.

When I walked back into the room, MasterDoc and the lady’s Dom were working on warming her up. She was naked and I slipped my hands in to her pelvic area to massage her inner thighs, butt, groin area. Then I stroked her pussy a little and since it was wet, I slid a finger in. She enjoyed my ministrations and I added another finger, stroking her g-spot. When we declared it time for her ride, she seemed to prefer staying there with me playing with her cunt.

We got her on the sybian, MasterDoc running the controls but her Dom sitting in front of her for her to lean on. I watched from the bed beside DeeDee for a bit, but it seemed to me that our guest was having a hard time letting go. Since she was clearly into me, I figured I should get up and try to help push things along. I reached around her and pressed her clit into the machine. I grabbed her ass, played with her. The ride went on for quite a while but still she didn’t come. I could be wrong, but when she complained the intensity was too much, I got the sense it wasn’t painful so much as likely to push her over the edge – something she wasn’t ready for. She did come for a bit, but overall the ride was less orgasmic than most. She rested on the mat on the floor and beckoned me over when I indicated I wanted to lay down to rest too.

MasterDoc tried fingering her to orgasm, but oddly she wasn’t quite into it. He suggested I take over, and I had no problem making her come. It feels pretty awesome to know a woman has the hots for you and you can make her come with just your hands. I did declare after, however, that I learned my technique from the expert (MasterDoc). Her man made her come more and squirt that time. I was hot to watch.

It was getting a little late, and I had work the next morning. My last bit of encouragement went to DeeDee getting a turn next. (If you were watching all this, wouldn’t you want a sybian ride next?!?!) I don’t think she ended up on the sybian, but the nice single guy guest fucked her quite well from what I’m told. I’d be keen to play with him too, I just wasn’t feeling it that night. I tucked myself into bed and read for a bit.

Hopefully this couple (and that single guy) will come back for more play. I enjoyed myself and can see many more fun times ahead if they come back.

The Key to a Good Evening

Published on March 27, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, caning, consensual non-consent, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, exhibitionism, forced orgasm, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

DeeDee opted to stay home when we went out Friday night. MasterDoc had made her come so hard in the afternoon (while he was fucking her up the ass and she was using the magic wand) that she developed a terrible sex headache. He later bragged about this to one of the porn stars visiting the swing club.

While we were walking to his car, I realized that I didn’t have a spare key for his new-to-him car. He said that’s right, because right now there’s only one key. He has to get copies made.

Yes folks, this is foreshadowing.

We rode to the swing club in his car. I’m pleased to say it has a much better ride than his old one. It was terribly cold last night because apparently winter decided to turn around and come back to the northeast for a while. I scurried to the club since we parked down the block. Once inside, I stripped down to the mesh/lace/satin camisole I was wearing under my street clothes. I was cold still, so I kept my black cardigan on. Yes, I’m that woman who is dressed semi-sexy at the swing club because she’s cold.

We settled in, those details are pretty mundane. As we scoped out a room to play in, it was kinda odd to walk by a guy standing just inside the room we prefer with his shirt off, dick out and stroking his hard cock. He was reasonably attractive and quite fit but, uh, this struck me as creepy. I don’t know if it would strike anyone else the same way though. We laughed about how we needed to push past this wanking dude to get to the king size bed. MasterDoc ultimately decided we were just simply going to do that.

We got settled on the bed, and I was very much in sub mode. I felt even more shy than usual and avoided all eye contact with others. I scarcely knew how many guys were in the room at any time. MasterDoc had me suck his cock and he got into being quite rough and dominant – more so than he usually is at a swing club. He choked me on it a few times – holding my head down long enough that a bit of panic would set in. I’d pull away when I could, take a deep breath, and then he’d put me right back on his cock. I loved it.

The cock sucking, with occasional choking, went on for a while. My mouth was watering and nose a little sniffly by the time we were done. He had me kneel and face the doorway. I still had my sweater on, and while he did things to me I pretty much buried my face in my arms. It’s strange how I was so much more self-conscious than usual. I mean, I don’t like making eye contact to start with, but I really didn’t want to see or be seen (facially anyway) at all. A bit later I felt concerned that people might think we shouldn’t be naked (cuz we don’t have hot bodies) which is odd since I didn’t worry about this when I we were both about 50 lbs heavier! I ultimately told myself that it didn’t matter since I was having such amazing sex with a man I’m totally hot for. Who cares what other people think? I had a great time.

MasterDoc spanked the shit out of me. He caned me a bit, it sounded like there was at least a small appreciative audience. I was bewildered a little because he’s never quite that rough with me in public. He fingered me for a while, and while initially his fingernail scraped inside a bit uncomfortably, I was able to move past that. When he told me to come, I came. It was hard to keep coming when he’d hit my ass really hard again, but I came for a while.

He turned me around, and fucked me from behind. Tabitha, the porn star we’ve seen at the club before, came in and said hello. As I started getting distracted by the conversation between her and MasterDoc, MasterDoc would start pounding my cunt hard with his cock. Fuck. It was so hot the way he had me there moaning, incoherent, while he casually carried on a flirtatious conversation, trying to line up a fuck for later in the evening.

After Tabitha left, he really went at me and made me come til I squirted all over the bed. When we were finished and I got up, I found that the front hem of my chemise was soaked; totally soaked with my juices. I was happy but so tired. We cuddled a bit – I found that I was thrown off a little by such rough usage in a club. (He called me a bitch at lot. He told me to choke on his cock several times. It was hot but intense.) I felt like I needed to reconnect with the loving Dom after having spent time with the rough, mean one.

After a bit, we were both horny again from touching each other. He was stroking his cock and I was getting antsy for more fucking. We put me on my back and he went at it. He asked a guy to hold my leg and the guy did. An elderly guy reached out to touch the other but MasterDoc told him not to touch since he hadn’t told him he could touch. Trouble was, the bed (which is really an unfolded futon on a frame) started sagging towards my head and I started slipping that way. It was too uncomfortable for my back so I had to speak up. We regrouped, and he fucked me some more from on top.

This time another guy (at least, as far as I know it was a different guy – but I’m not sure) held my other leg but he pissed me off by yanking it too far outward. I told him not to do that as it hurt. Then he shifted to stroking my leg but the guy had the finesse of a spastic child. In the end, there was no way I was going to come with that dude touching me and totally distracting me.

We rested a bit, and he had me masturbate to another orgasm – which was pretty damn hot. But I realized that I was so, so tired. Since the time change I’ve been waking up too early and have been more tired than usual. All the fucking and coming had worn me out too.

We ended up sitting out in the social area, and we watched Tabitha flirt and let guys grope her. They were drawn like bees to flowers. On the sofa across from me sat this positively beautiful young man. Blond, fit, dressed well. I told MasterDoc that if I wasn’t so damn tired I’d want to fuck the guy. I kept looking at him. So perfect. He reminded me a little of Prince William when he was a very young man, before his hair started thinning and he started to look so much like his father. But I suppose this guy was better looking. MasterDoc teased me that he thought the guy might be underage. I figure since ID has to be shown to get in, that I’d be able to argue that even if he *was* underage that it was entirely reasonable that I would expect anyone I meet in there to be of age.

MasterDoc had me get on my knees and suck his cock for a while. It was a hard position to hold my back in, so I didn’t last long, but I think when I got up the cute young guy must have been looking since it appeared he was in the process of looking away.

The hot guy joined the throng around Tabitha for a bit. A nice looking couple sat in his place and MasterDoc and I both ogled the woman. She was hot, kinda nerdy, dressed more conservatively than you’d think someone would dress in a swing club. When her guy went to get them drinks, MasterDoc tried to strike up a conversation with her, but to no avail. I tried making eye contact too, but I think there wasn’t any interest.

I was incredibly tired. It was early still, around 11:30, but I just didn’t think I could do any more activity. MasterDoc agreed we could go home. (But of course he asked me a few times, “You’re sure you’re too tired, right?”) We got dressed, got our stuff out of the locker, and got our coats. But when MasterDoc checked his coat, he couldn’t find his keys. He had been concerned when he didn’t find them in the locker, but we figured they must be in his jacket. Nope.

I had my keys with me, but you have to remember that his was the ring with the only copy of the car key on it. Oy.

He tore the club apart looking. He offered to get me a cab to take me home while he waited for AAA. I decided I wasn’t tired enough to ask him to spend that money. I settled on the sofa in the social area, right near the bar, and lay down for a while. I figured no one would fuck with me there, plus I was fully dressed anyway. I rested the best I could although fatigue and the loud music was starting to give me a headache and even a bit of teeth-grinding. But somehow I stayed patient. I just reminded myself that the situation was what it was and getting upset wouldn’t change it.

MasterDoc came in and found me, and told me the good and bad news. Good news was he found the keys. The bad news was they were locked in his car in the ignition. Well at least he wouldn’t have to pay for locks on his car to be changed. We just had to wait for AAA to send someone to get into the car. MasterDoc wondered aloud if he could go fuck while he waited, and I told him he was certainly welcome to as far as I was concerned (not that he needs my permission!). I had a place to lay down and there was no reason he shouldn’t enjoy himself. He went off but soon came back as there was too long a line around Tabitha. He checked again later but I don’t think he got his extracurricular fuck that night.

AAA called MasterDoc’s cell phone and he went out to the car to meet them. I used the loo one last time and joined him after. They were just getting the car door open when I got there. It was freezing (I am so sick of the months of cold weather we’ve had around here!) but MasterDoc started up the car to warm me up while he settled with the guy who got the door open. Happily, over an hour after we tried to leave, we got on the road and went home.

Feel the Beat

Published on March 19, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, flogging, forced orgasm, happy, horny, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

MasterDoc wasn’t sure that he’d have time for me Friday, my day off. But I lucked out and all the horniness and desire for kink that was stoked by #fucktoyfriday on twitter got an outlet. (Fuck Toy Friday is a hashtag created by Saynine. Each Friday kinksters share naughty tweets and photos relating to being or using a sub as a fuck toy.) We didn’t have a long time together, but MasterDoc was in the mood to give an ass whuppin’ and, damn, did he! He used, among other implements, the heaviest cane and the evil strap. He was trying to leave marks but it’s gotten so hard to leave marks on my butt. The next day, there was nothing whatsoever in the way of marks.

But it hurt. He really made me hurt. And I did my best to breathe slowly and go with it. He would intersperse slapping or running a vibrator over my cunt with more hard slaps to my ass. He took the floggers to me and I can’t tell you how long the beating went on for. He’s not usually quite so sadistic (not a physical sadist anyway) but I knew that if I rode the pain out that a yummy endorphin rush would follow. He asked me if I’m a very lucky girl as he smacked my ass. I struggled but replied, “Yes, Sir!” between cane strikes even though I wasn’t feeling so sure I was lucky in the midst of this particular beating. I cried out and cursed more often than I usually do during a beating, but I managed to not pull away from the blows as much as I usually do.

When he took up the small flogger, I had to move my feet as far out of the way as I could. I hate when my feet get smacked as collateral damage during a flogging. I end up in this awkward position – on my knees, feet out as far to the sides as I can manage. After a good, long beating, he inserted my soraya vibrator but it wasn’t working at that angle – I think it pressed too hard into my pubic bone from that position. He removed it when I said it hurt (and not in a good, kinky beating sort of hurt). He put an acrylic dildo in my ass and the end hung out like a tail. It felt great. I haven’t had nearly enough ass play lately. He talked about maybe fucking me up the ass, but in the end he didn’t.

He praised me for starting to play with my cunt as he got a condom and put it on. I figured I could do my part to ensure I was warmed up adequately for fucking, although the beating seemed to do the trick quite well. He tried to fuck me with the toy in ass but it hurt so he removed it. He fucked me but good. He would intersperse caning and slapping my ass with fucking me hard.

The fucking put me into a lovely headspace as I moaned with each thrust. It wasn’t easy to take the extended beating, but I managed it just fine. I was soon moaning, wanting to come. When he gave permission, I had no trouble coming. He kept fucking me through lots and lots of orgasms. At that point I felt like the lucky girl I had declared I was earlier!

After the long beating, followed by the long fucking, I collapsed on the bed, exhausted. A short while later he wanted to fuck again. He asked if I could get on top for a ride, but unfortunately my knees were sore from having knelt so long. I was glad he opted to get on top of me. He drove me crazy, teasing me with just a little of his cock inside me, the head of his thick cock pressing against my g-spot. He made me come again, and squirt a bit, and then come again. He kept using his big cock to plow me. He’d move his hips around to make his cock move around inside. He demonstrated his ability to make me come as long as he wants to.

Damn, writing this is making me horny!

We had some cuddles after. (I had been in a more cuddly mood to start with, but I think the beating was fabulous too.) I was so happy and feeling so lucky. I tried to soak up the feelings since I probably won’t see him next until Monday night. But the lonely mood that had been brewing that day was gone, and I walked home happy.

Back to Normal

Published on March 17, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, consensual non-consent, D/s, emotions, forced orgasm, happy, libido, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Somehow, I rediscovered my submissive spirit after the rough bit over the weekend. It was a relief to both myself and MasterDoc for things between us to seem normal again. A guy I’m talking to on a dating site has read through this blog a bit, and named a post he liked – and the funny thing is, it’s from October 2009 and I was talking about how hard it is to submit when it’s not how YOU want to submit back then too. The struggle goes on.

I focused on being good while at MasterDoc’s Wednesday night. I tried to be obedient when needed. I tried to be calm when addressing him. I felt joy in being submissive. Some days are like that, I love it. Other days are a huge struggle. I’ve been examining why I get so self-centered and I think my mother’s influence has a lot to do with it. My father is a very giving, generous person. I do have some of that in me, but my mother is self-centered – and took advantage of my father many times. So I think the combination of learning behavior from her, and having to be selfish and focus on myself since she never did, has led to my horribly spoiled, self-centered moments. I was spoiled while growing up. (An only child til my brother surprised us all and came along when I was 11.) But also, my mother was a tad verbally abusive, emotionally distant and unpredictable (so unpredictable!). I find myself to be two seemingly contradictory things at once. I have times when I’m really generous with my friends and am happy to do so. I have other times when I obsess with things evening out. (Usually the closer I am to someone the more I worry about such things. I think it’s the whole “you can be at your worst with those who love you most” thing.)

It reminds me of how sometimes people ask how I can reconcile the kinky slut with the librarian. The thing is, I don’t need to reconcile them. They are both part of the same person. I can be wonderful and I can be a real shit. These things are both true about me. I can be intelligent, professional, slutty, kinky, shy, exhibitionist, etc. all at once. All in one package. The descriptors are many.

But on to the sex! I probably won’t see MasterDoc for several days, so I was eager to get laid. (When am I not?) I realized last night that I truly love sucking his cock. I would be disappointed if I wasn’t allowed to do it. He commented that he should make me beg for it then. I focused on loving having his cock in my mouth and I managed to get him to say, “You suck a mean cock!”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” I said with a grin.

We played with some cock choking and I find at times that I can hold him deep in my throat for a moment and not gag. But eventually I need to breathe and start to gag. I think I’m still surprised that I like the gagging so much. He holds my head down on his cock and I love that he’s “making me” do it at that point. I love when I gasp for air and the saliva flows. Right after the deep breath I go right back to sucking his cock.

We were back in sync last night and MasterDoc had no trouble making me come several ways. He wrenched orgasms out of me until I reached exhaustion. (I honestly thought he might succeed in making me pass out. I kept holding my breath as I came, but then my body would make me gasp when it became too much.) He made me come from just stroking my body and talking to me. He pushed orgasm out of orgasm out of me with his probing fingers in my pussy. If the orgasm started to decline, he did something different to put me right back in the midst of deep orgasm again. He fucked me and made me come. He realized that part of what was upsetting about the weekend is that he had suddenly “lost” the ability to make me come whenever he wants. Saturday night was truly a weird night. I’m happy to say he hadn’t lost his skill.

At some point, we talked about working in (to my cunt) the large Randy dildo again sometime. He warmed me up a bit the one time we played with it but not quite enough for it to feel good. He asked if he started with smaller penetrative toys and worked his way up. I told him I didn’t think so.

“That was dumb,” he blurted out. “Oh, did I say that aloud?” I smiled because his ability to admit his own mistakes is one of the many things I love about him. (I must add, that in retrospect I think he DID use smaller penetrative toys before that big dildo. Just not for long enough.)

A cuddle after sex and many orgasms led to him making me come again from stroking my arms and legs. I am so lucky! Devoid of selfish worries and depressive episodes, I realized how utterly happy he makes me. While sharing him can be difficult, he is so wonderful that having him part time is better than having him no time. I took the time to savor the feeling of him against me. I’ll try to recall it this weekend when I don’t see him. His touch seems to release some sort of fabulous chemicals in my brain.

After sex, I got MasterDoc a snack from the kitchen, and was reminded that I still needed to clean up after dinner. (The dishwasher had been running, and since his is a little counter top one that gets water directly from the faucet, I had to put off any other cleaning til the cycle was done.) While I cleaned up, I thought about service. I realized that on some level, I should think that I’m doing these little annoying tasks so that the man I love, who makes me really happy, doesn’t have to. I think I struggle with such selflessness though because I have constant subconscious worries that I will be taken advantage of, that I won’t get my needs met. Again, this seems to stem from my upbringing and NOT from life with MasterDoc. So I continue to work on finding the joy in submission. It’s there. I just don’t always open myself up to it. While I’m afraid of truly being selfless, I think learning it to a reasonable extent would be very good for me.

Public Play #267

Published on March 9, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, exhibitionism, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I’m feeling back to normal again – hooray! When the depression finally lifted, I realized that it was as if I could suddenly feel the happiness in my life again. The happiness wasn’t gone last week, I just wasn’t capable of feeling it for a while. It’s a tremendous relief to be able to appreciate my life again. Mental illness can be debilitating in its own way.

Since I was off Tuesday, MasterDoc and I went out to the swing club Monday night. DeeDee was going to join us (and it’s been a long time since the three of us have been out together) but she felt more like staying in. I would have been happy for her to join us, but goodness knows that I love time alone with MasterDoc too.

We did our usual surveying of the scene when we got to the club, and I think we got busy pretty quickly. A couple of guys followed us into the room with the king bed and asked about our case of toys. Apparently at least one of them had heard about MasterDoc. He’s becoming quite a legend at the swing club. MasterDoc took the opportunity to put on a show – he explained the various toys, and ceremoniously put my collar on my neck. He then slowly stroked my face. I closed my eyes, focusing on his touch, my body twitching with pleasure every now and then. He showed off the control he has over me, and I was thrilled to let myself slip into subspace.

MasterDoc had me suck his cock, and he gave a flashlight to one of the guys so he could put me in the spotlight. As I licked and sucked, MasterDoc ordered me around in his best domly voice. “Oh yeah, that’s it. Suck it bitch!” I was glad to be his slut. I like how he gets to show off his control over me in front of other men. In a way, being a submissive lets me be just as slutty and dirty as I want to be, because it appears that I’m not the one deciding what I do. Let me clarify, while MasterDoc determines what and when we do things in a scene, he wouldn’t make me do something I can’t handle or wouldn’t consent to anyway. He certainly pushes my limits and gets me to do some things I don’t initially think I can handle, but my submission is given willingly. If I didn’t want to be a dirty slut sucking his cock in public I wouldn’t be with him and be his sub. Being a sub lets me be dirty under the guise of being “forced” to do it.

I love how vocal he is in public – I get much more feedback and dirty talk when people are around and he wants to emphasize the good job I’m doing. After some serious cocksucking, he had me take my pants off and kneel facing away from everyone. He toyed with my cunt. He spanked my ass. All the while, he was highlighting how I react to his touch. He told the guys that he takes me to the edge of coming, and then holds me there. He demonstrated, explaining that he could make me come at any time. I worried that I wouldn’t come on command. I’ve been struggling lately with my arousal ebbing more than it used to. Holding myself on the edge is not as easy as it was. I find myself not ready to come sometimes when he tells me to.

Luckily, at that moment I could tell when he was going to have me come, and I relaxed and let my body get worked up as he talked up my arousal. I came hard as he fingered me, and after what must have been a good solid 30 seconds of coming, I squirted all over the bed. The guy still had the flashlight, so I’m sure whomever was around could see quite well.

We cuddled and relaxed, arcing our bodies around either side of the puddle I left. It took a while for the guys to get the hint that the show was over – for now. I think MasterDoc intended to get up and walk around, but I stroked his face as we leaned our heads together, and we both got worked up again. I was on my knees, ass in the air, MasterDoc was ready to fuck me when… a guy walked in with a slice of cake. MasterDoc got distracted. He got the guy to get him cake (and a fork when he forgot the first time), and he started eating it while using my ass as a table. I craved some cake myself, plus my knees were starting to bother me. I asked if I could get up and I was allowed. MasterDoc fed me the bits of cake he decided to give me. The guy jokingly commented on “hey, who’s the dom here?” as MasterDoc fed me, but I pointed out that indeed, his feeding me was a dominant act since he controlled the food.

I wanted more cake and so I begged like a puppy, hoping the cuteness would get me some more cake. (I panted, holding my hands up like front paws. I eyed the cake and whined a little.) He had me beg some more, and then let me have a little cake. He was suddenly inspired to put the empty plate on the bed, and have me lick it clean like a dog. It’s funny since there was an audience, but I had no problem doing it.

We later walked in on one of the regular ladies playing with a new toy she just got (the cake was for her birthday). She declared that hooking the small vibe’s tip into her clit hood ring felt so good. A crowd formed to watch her masturbating while two guys stroked her body. MasterDoc had me get out the flashlight. He held it in his mouth so it shone on her pussy while he massaged her thighs. (The other guys were fairly clueless as to how to touch a woman, but MasterDoc said the guy on her other leg followed his lead well.) I didn’t see her coming head-on as my back was bothering me so I sat down on the other end of the bed. But I enjoyed watching MasterDoc work his skills. The lady came and squirted. We left when she started playing with one of the guys who had been touching her.

At one point in the evening, MasterDoc suggested he could piss in my mouth right there in a public area. My eyes got so wide! I was clothed, and I fretted as to “what if I spilled any?” MasterDoc assured me he’d let the urine flow slowly. I was freaked out. He teased me, but ultimately didn’t make me drink his piss there. (I’ve never actually drank it. There was just the one time he pissed in my mouth but he let me have it just flow out. But I know him, he’s working up to it.)

We played some more in the so-called “exhibitionists’ room” (now partially obscured by gauzy drapes). MasterDoc made me come with my Soraya vibe. I took over fucking myself with it so I could press the little “arm” into my clit. MasterDoc seemed to like how I took over fucking myself and coming. There was a crowd watching and again a guy to hold the flashlight. MasterDoc got hard and decided to fuck me. I got on top for a ride. I was feeling tired but I did my best. I focused on him feeling good, plus he gave my ass a few hard spanks that were hard enough to distract me from building my arousal. Sadly, I had a hard time coming when he told me to. Being miles away from orgasm when commanded to do it is such a disappointing experience. But then we started up fucking again soon after, and I did my best to focus and get into it – and I came hard the next time he gave the command.

(The number in the title is totally random, in case you were wondering.)

Brief Update

Published on March 6, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, bondage, crazy, D/s, depression, emotions, flogging, foursome, kink, mental illness, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, sex, shio, spanking, squirting, stress and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

I’ve been struggling with depression this week, something that seems to happen all too often lately. This week the excuse was my turbulent hormones pre-period. Going on birth control a few months ago was supposed to help this, and it did, for a while. But I struggled a great deal this week. I’m not pleasant to be around when depressed, I see everything through a darkened eye and find negative things to dwell on. (I think my subconscious makes things up too.) Bless MasterDoc for handling me. Also, I tried hard to deal with things more calmly than I would in the past. I keep working on myself.

As a consequence, when I have had hot sex I haven’t felt like writing about it. Sorry to disappoint you all, but this will probably be just a short summary of the adventures I had this week.

Sunday and Monday nights I got to spend alone with MasterDoc. I was thrilled since recent weeks have yielded minimal time alone with him. The first night, I was struggling with insecurity as big as a football field. After sobbing that I was afraid that MasterDoc no longer had interest in sex with me – I’ll wait while you laugh at that – he fucked me three long times. And each time he pushed me over the edge of orgasm – and kept me going!

Monday night he noticed himself falling into the whole “let’s watch porn, masturbate then fuck” thing he does when he feels lazy. He decided to put more effort into that evening and soon I was laying on the bed blindfolded, with a bondage tape gag. He got good and rough with me. There was lots of biting, slapping, fingering. While fucking he made me feel like a piece of meat in that particular way that makes me love it. I loved the sensory deprivation of having most of my head wrapped up.

I went without sex for a few days. (When will I take the time to find a suitable friend with benefits?) On Friday afternoon, MasterDoc lined up this Dom and sub who we’ve played with before – for the life of me I can’t remember what I’ve called them here. We met them at a hotel and played together. With my depressed mood I had a hard time getting into things, but I did my best. Funny how even when I struggle with arousal I still end up coming and squirting a freakin’ river. Thank you, MasterDoc! After the couple left, we hung out for a little longer and he gave me a beating – something I’ve been in need of but I wasn’t quite in the headspace to enjoy. He then fucked me and I squirted yet again.

Hopefully my mood will continue to improve and I will have more adventures to share and will actually take the time to write detailed entries on them!

MasterDoc and Nadia Go Out

Published on March 2, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, dom, exhibitionism, forced orgasm, horny, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, shio, spanking, squirting, stupid people, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

After a quiet week sexually (a bad cold for much of the week curbed activity), I went out to the swing club with MasterDoc last Friday. I was ragingly horny before we even headed out. I was ripe for all sorts of (consensual) sexual violation. As we got ready, I snuggled up to him and grabbed his ass.

I felt excited and proud to be his slut. I dressed in lingerie that had just come in the mail – a chemise of black lace over hot pink. The back was entirely mesh. I combined this with my over the knee boots for walking around the club. New panties – pink mesh on the back, purple nylon for the front – were taken off and put on repeatedly through the night.

MasterDoc took me into the back room by the St. Andrew’s Cross. We had brought my cuffs for use with it, but in the end they never got used. I held myself up, leaning against the cross. He spanked me a little, then got down and dirty with my cunt. As he made me come I struggled to remain standing. My hands nearly dug into the wood in an attempt to counteract my knees going weak. It was wonderful to come for the first time in a few days, but I really didn’t have the strength to stand up for it. I told MasterDoc the trouble I was having and he got me to lay down on a bed to rest.

A short while later, he made me come in front of a couple of guys who had come into the room. I was a little (ok, a lot) annoyed by these guys’ unasked pressing against me. MasterDoc shooed them back a few inches. As MasterDoc’s skilled hands did their thing he gave me permission to come. I squirted, which the guys seemed to enjoy. In the aftermath of such pleasure, I sucked MasterDoc’s cock for a while. Worked up, he had me get on all fours and he fucked me but good – making me scream as I came and he continued to pound me. It was a truly epic round of sex. I got annoyed by a couple of guys talking near me, it distracted me from my orgasms. I really wanted to tell them to shut the fuck up. Someone else came in and talked with us which was bad timing as well. I really miss how considerate kink people are about scenes than swingers. I hate when my subspace is broken by some idiot trying to chat us up at a clearly (to me anyway, to anyone with half a brain) intimate moment.

Still, that fuck was amazing. I think if I had met MasterDoc 10 years earlier I’d have had a heart attack from the sex. We recovered as the older couple who seems to ALWAYS be there started fooling around on the bed across the room. There’s definitely an interest on their side, but I’m really not into the guy (not much into the woman but the guy creeps me out somehow).

We took a break and ended up talking with a guy in the smoking area. He had seen MasterDoc at the club before with other women. (I felt pride at how my unassuming Dom is “the man” at the swing club. Guys call out, “Hi Doc!’ to him, probably in the hopes of getting in on his action.) The guy we chatted with was nice and displayed a genuine interest in kink.

Next, we took over the king-sized bed. MasterDoc spanked me and made me come, for a change my ass was towards the door rather than my face. He did this floppy hands thing he’s done various times lately. (He slaps and rubs my cunt in a very general fashion, not targeting my clit or other desirable bits.) It drives me bonkers at it makes it hard to come. I spoke to him about it afterward, and he said that he does it intentionally to make me really work for the orgasm. Argh. Frustration. But in light of our discussion, he conceded that maybe he’s done it too much lately.

I got to suck his cock some more. (I love it!) If my damn mouth and jaw didn’t get tired I could suck his cock for hours.

After another break, we set up in the exhibitionists’ room. MasterDoc handed the flashlight to the guy we spoke to earlier. He held it shining at my pussy while MasterDoc fingered me to fabulous orgasm. Damn, I’m one lucky slut.

The club was busy by the time we thought about leaving. MasterDoc was considering staying to get into the act with an attractive Asian lady who was doing four guys. I would have waited patiently for him (probably watched as well!) but he opted to take me home.

Sunday Swing

Published on February 20, 2011 in bbc, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunnilingus, foursome, lesbian, non-monogamy, pillow princess, sex, shio, slut, squirting, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Sunday night I was slated to hang out with MasterDoc while DeeDee had a date over. I looked forward to a quiet night alone with him in the playroom, but he was searching craigslist for something interesting. We found a younger couple looking to swing – mid to late 20s – and fairly good looking from their pictures. She’s very chubby but I often go for chubby women who are chubby in all the right places. I love curves, breasts, hips, thick thighs. The couple was nice, but not close friend material. I doubt we had a lot in common beyond swinging, but they were nice to hang out with and fuck. She was a sexy, white bbw. He was a fit black guy with a bbc. When my profession got mentioned, the guy perked up. It’s amazing how often guys have librarian fantasies.

Even I, the woman who is notorious for not being able to get things started was trying to push things along. We showed them the couple of sex toys we brought in a little case and I brought my Lelo Siri over to show the woman how strong the vibration was. She liked it. We managed to get them into the bedroom and MasterDoc started off kissing me. He had me suck his cock hard and I somehow ended up using my Lelo Soraya on the woman. The guys remained half dressed while she and I started fooling around.

MasterDoc took over the toy, and the guy came over to eat me out. I’m always pleased when a guy goes for that first, often guys who will go down on me first are better lovers. He licked my pussy while I leaned over to suck her large nipples. She was soft and lovely to kiss and we made out often in the midst of things. Neither one of them turned out to be particularly knowledgeable about fingering, but in all fairness they are in their 20s still. They both did the basic in-out-in-out I remember from sexual experiences in my early 20s or so. If we see them again maybe I can offer a tutorial. They were both enthusiastic about oral so that helped. As often seems to happen, she went down on me but I didn’t end up going down on her. (This is how I get accused of being a pillow princess sometimes, I think.)

His cock was big and he’s a fit young man – so the fucking was good and energetic. I made out with the woman while MasterDoc fucked her and her boyfriend fucked me. This is the sort of decadence I love. I’m all for pleasure. No wonder I’ve turned away from religion. I don’t think pleasure is a sin.

I sucked his cock for a long time while she went down on me. MasterDoc was disappointed that the woman didn’t seem much into it. I know how that can really put a damper on things. The guy on the other hand was quite eager to fuck me and put his cock in my mouth. Since it was a Sunday night, and I had work the next day, the evening ended fairly early. But since they lived maybe 20 blocks from us it wasn’t a long drive home. I had been in the mood for having MasterDoc alone, but I was glad that I just went with his idea to swing. I had fun.

Thankfully, we had brought the throe as I squirted all over the damn thing. I think over time I squirt more and more often. Not all the time, but frequently now.

A Little Public Humilation

Published on February 19, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, embarrassment, exhibitionism, happy, humiliation play, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

About a week ago, we went to the swing club for the first time in a while (at least, it was the first time in a while I was able to go with him). As soon as we walked in the door to the main room, he grabbed me and grabbed my crotch in front of everyone. I don’t recall his words but I think he said something about me being ready to get fucked loud enough for others to hear. It was the start of what has been a streak of kinky humiliation. I buried my face in his shoulder in embarrassment but at the same time I was smiling, and oh so turned on.

As usual, we hung out for a bit in the lounge area of the club. I enjoyed watching guys try to start up a conversation with MasterDoc by asking about our case of toys. I felt proud to think that my Dom was the envy of other guys there. He was there with an attractive woman, a bag full of sex toys and clearly he was going to have a good time. The single guys hoped to get a chance to be a part of that.

That night, I thought about how getting the librarian-looking, average girl to do hot nasty things has a certain cachet to it. Slutty-looking women are expected to be slutty (whether they are or not, sadly) but average-looking women aren’t expected to be wildcats in bed. Often something being sexually hot has a lot to do with how taboo or contradictory it seems. The nice, respectable, educated woman you can bring home to mom isn’t expected to be your fucktoy in public at a swing club. I enjoy being that unexpected woman.

We spoke to the bartender, who was serving as eye candy too in her little bikini. In the midst of this, MasterDoc grabbed me and made me come standing up, right there, as he continued talking. He grabbed me by the hair and placed his hand under my slip and firmly on my cunt. I can’t remember how many people saw, but I was reduced to quivering orgasm in less than a minute. This was more hot humiliation. My panties ended up soaking wet. I love when he takes control of me like that.

When we got down to business on a bed I enthusiastically sucked and savored his cock. Single guys watched of course. I love helping make MasterDoc the envy of all the single men there.

He had me get on all fours facing towards the door and then proceeded to make me come with a vibrator. I keep coming harder and harder lately. Orgasm has becoming something transcendent.

We took a break, but when we got back to bed later he fucked me from behind after giving a spanking. (A lady later commented that she enjoyed the show but not the hitting. MasterDoc pointed out that he only does that with women who like it.) As always he made sure my head was pointed towards the door, and whomever may be watching. He told me to do something he doesn’t do often – I was instructed to come as soon as he put his cock in me. This was easy to accomplish and I squirted again. Don’t worry, out of proper etiquette I took the wet sheets to the hamper afterward so no one else would have to deal with my come. I could hear men murmuring their appreciation of the scene while MasterDoc fucked me silly.

He had me suck his cock some more and this just made me want more cock. I asked nicely if I could have more, and he let me get on for a ride. Again, the crowd seemed to like it.

This evening was an amazing ending to what had been a day of dissatisfaction and depression. After our night out I was so very happy, and so very sorry for always finding fault and something to bitch about. MasterDoc was perfectly charming from the start of the evening. As we waited for the elevator when we got there, he turned on his silly, charming side and danced around me, saying he was spinning his web around me. Sometimes he just is so cute and turns me to mush.