Archive for the 'spanking' Category

Page 3 of 14

Brief Update

Published on March 6, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, bondage, crazy, D/s, depression, emotions, flogging, foursome, kink, mental illness, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, sex, shio, spanking, squirting, stress and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

I’ve been struggling with depression this week, something that seems to happen all too often lately. This week the excuse was my turbulent hormones pre-period. Going on birth control a few months ago was supposed to help this, and it did, for a while. But I struggled a great deal this week. I’m not pleasant to be around when depressed, I see everything through a darkened eye and find negative things to dwell on. (I think my subconscious makes things up too.) Bless MasterDoc for handling me. Also, I tried hard to deal with things more calmly than I would in the past. I keep working on myself.

As a consequence, when I have had hot sex I haven’t felt like writing about it. Sorry to disappoint you all, but this will probably be just a short summary of the adventures I had this week.

Sunday and Monday nights I got to spend alone with MasterDoc. I was thrilled since recent weeks have yielded minimal time alone with him. The first night, I was struggling with insecurity as big as a football field. After sobbing that I was afraid that MasterDoc no longer had interest in sex with me – I’ll wait while you laugh at that – he fucked me three long times. And each time he pushed me over the edge of orgasm – and kept me going!

Monday night he noticed himself falling into the whole “let’s watch porn, masturbate then fuck” thing he does when he feels lazy. He decided to put more effort into that evening and soon I was laying on the bed blindfolded, with a bondage tape gag. He got good and rough with me. There was lots of biting, slapping, fingering. While fucking he made me feel like a piece of meat in that particular way that makes me love it. I loved the sensory deprivation of having most of my head wrapped up.

I went without sex for a few days. (When will I take the time to find a suitable friend with benefits?) On Friday afternoon, MasterDoc lined up this Dom and sub who we’ve played with before – for the life of me I can’t remember what I’ve called them here. We met them at a hotel and played together. With my depressed mood I had a hard time getting into things, but I did my best. Funny how even when I struggle with arousal I still end up coming and squirting a freakin’ river. Thank you, MasterDoc! After the couple left, we hung out for a little longer and he gave me a beating – something I’ve been in need of but I wasn’t quite in the headspace to enjoy. He then fucked me and I squirted yet again.

Hopefully my mood will continue to improve and I will have more adventures to share and will actually take the time to write detailed entries on them!

MasterDoc and Nadia Go Out

Published on March 2, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, dom, exhibitionism, forced orgasm, horny, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, shio, spanking, squirting, stupid people, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

After a quiet week sexually (a bad cold for much of the week curbed activity), I went out to the swing club with MasterDoc last Friday. I was ragingly horny before we even headed out. I was ripe for all sorts of (consensual) sexual violation. As we got ready, I snuggled up to him and grabbed his ass.

I felt excited and proud to be his slut. I dressed in lingerie that had just come in the mail – a chemise of black lace over hot pink. The back was entirely mesh. I combined this with my over the knee boots for walking around the club. New panties – pink mesh on the back, purple nylon for the front – were taken off and put on repeatedly through the night.

MasterDoc took me into the back room by the St. Andrew’s Cross. We had brought my cuffs for use with it, but in the end they never got used. I held myself up, leaning against the cross. He spanked me a little, then got down and dirty with my cunt. As he made me come I struggled to remain standing. My hands nearly dug into the wood in an attempt to counteract my knees going weak. It was wonderful to come for the first time in a few days, but I really didn’t have the strength to stand up for it. I told MasterDoc the trouble I was having and he got me to lay down on a bed to rest.

A short while later, he made me come in front of a couple of guys who had come into the room. I was a little (ok, a lot) annoyed by these guys’ unasked pressing against me. MasterDoc shooed them back a few inches. As MasterDoc’s skilled hands did their thing he gave me permission to come. I squirted, which the guys seemed to enjoy. In the aftermath of such pleasure, I sucked MasterDoc’s cock for a while. Worked up, he had me get on all fours and he fucked me but good – making me scream as I came and he continued to pound me. It was a truly epic round of sex. I got annoyed by a couple of guys talking near me, it distracted me from my orgasms. I really wanted to tell them to shut the fuck up. Someone else came in and talked with us which was bad timing as well. I really miss how considerate kink people are about scenes than swingers. I hate when my subspace is broken by some idiot trying to chat us up at a clearly (to me anyway, to anyone with half a brain) intimate moment.

Still, that fuck was amazing. I think if I had met MasterDoc 10 years earlier I’d have had a heart attack from the sex. We recovered as the older couple who seems to ALWAYS be there started fooling around on the bed across the room. There’s definitely an interest on their side, but I’m really not into the guy (not much into the woman but the guy creeps me out somehow).

We took a break and ended up talking with a guy in the smoking area. He had seen MasterDoc at the club before with other women. (I felt pride at how my unassuming Dom is “the man” at the swing club. Guys call out, “Hi Doc!’ to him, probably in the hopes of getting in on his action.) The guy we chatted with was nice and displayed a genuine interest in kink.

Next, we took over the king-sized bed. MasterDoc spanked me and made me come, for a change my ass was towards the door rather than my face. He did this floppy hands thing he’s done various times lately. (He slaps and rubs my cunt in a very general fashion, not targeting my clit or other desirable bits.) It drives me bonkers at it makes it hard to come. I spoke to him about it afterward, and he said that he does it intentionally to make me really work for the orgasm. Argh. Frustration. But in light of our discussion, he conceded that maybe he’s done it too much lately.

I got to suck his cock some more. (I love it!) If my damn mouth and jaw didn’t get tired I could suck his cock for hours.

After another break, we set up in the exhibitionists’ room. MasterDoc handed the flashlight to the guy we spoke to earlier. He held it shining at my pussy while MasterDoc fingered me to fabulous orgasm. Damn, I’m one lucky slut.

The club was busy by the time we thought about leaving. MasterDoc was considering staying to get into the act with an attractive Asian lady who was doing four guys. I would have waited patiently for him (probably watched as well!) but he opted to take me home.

A Little Public Humilation

Published on February 19, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, embarrassment, exhibitionism, happy, humiliation play, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

About a week ago, we went to the swing club for the first time in a while (at least, it was the first time in a while I was able to go with him). As soon as we walked in the door to the main room, he grabbed me and grabbed my crotch in front of everyone. I don’t recall his words but I think he said something about me being ready to get fucked loud enough for others to hear. It was the start of what has been a streak of kinky humiliation. I buried my face in his shoulder in embarrassment but at the same time I was smiling, and oh so turned on.

As usual, we hung out for a bit in the lounge area of the club. I enjoyed watching guys try to start up a conversation with MasterDoc by asking about our case of toys. I felt proud to think that my Dom was the envy of other guys there. He was there with an attractive woman, a bag full of sex toys and clearly he was going to have a good time. The single guys hoped to get a chance to be a part of that.

That night, I thought about how getting the librarian-looking, average girl to do hot nasty things has a certain cachet to it. Slutty-looking women are expected to be slutty (whether they are or not, sadly) but average-looking women aren’t expected to be wildcats in bed. Often something being sexually hot has a lot to do with how taboo or contradictory it seems. The nice, respectable, educated woman you can bring home to mom isn’t expected to be your fucktoy in public at a swing club. I enjoy being that unexpected woman.

We spoke to the bartender, who was serving as eye candy too in her little bikini. In the midst of this, MasterDoc grabbed me and made me come standing up, right there, as he continued talking. He grabbed me by the hair and placed his hand under my slip and firmly on my cunt. I can’t remember how many people saw, but I was reduced to quivering orgasm in less than a minute. This was more hot humiliation. My panties ended up soaking wet. I love when he takes control of me like that.

When we got down to business on a bed I enthusiastically sucked and savored his cock. Single guys watched of course. I love helping make MasterDoc the envy of all the single men there.

He had me get on all fours facing towards the door and then proceeded to make me come with a vibrator. I keep coming harder and harder lately. Orgasm has becoming something transcendent.

We took a break, but when we got back to bed later he fucked me from behind after giving a spanking. (A lady later commented that she enjoyed the show but not the hitting. MasterDoc pointed out that he only does that with women who like it.) As always he made sure my head was pointed towards the door, and whomever may be watching. He told me to do something he doesn’t do often – I was instructed to come as soon as he put his cock in me. This was easy to accomplish and I squirted again. Don’t worry, out of proper etiquette I took the wet sheets to the hamper afterward so no one else would have to deal with my come. I could hear men murmuring their appreciation of the scene while MasterDoc fucked me silly.

He had me suck his cock some more and this just made me want more cock. I asked nicely if I could have more, and he let me get on for a ride. Again, the crowd seemed to like it.

This evening was an amazing ending to what had been a day of dissatisfaction and depression. After our night out I was so very happy, and so very sorry for always finding fault and something to bitch about. MasterDoc was perfectly charming from the start of the evening. As we waited for the elevator when we got there, he turned on his silly, charming side and danced around me, saying he was spinning his web around me. Sometimes he just is so cute and turns me to mush.

Show Slut

Published on February 18, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, exhibitionism, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, prostate massage, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, show, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, Uncategorized and wartenburg wheel. 0 Comments

I have so much blogging to catch up on, that I figure I might as well start with the most recent thing and work my way back. I usually try to keep things in chronological order here; I love to chronicle things and knowing what happened when is important to me. Granted, in the grand scheme of things it’s probably not necessary.

This morning, MasterDoc and I did our first show together in about a year. The long gap wasn’t intentional, various possibilities have fallen through over the months, but I have to admit I’m happy to have an audience again. Our guest was a strapping young man, nice looking. This always helps because if a guy is unattractive or (and this is far worse) somehow creepy, I don’t enjoy things quite as much. Notice how I didn’t say I don’t enjoy them at all. Having the safety of MasterDoc being in charge and being the one touching me (and deciding if our guest can touch me) helps me enjoy myself even if I’m not digging the guy. And a really nice guy who’s not particularly attractive can be a delight to perform for. (Making me feel safe is truly the key. It’s great if you want to jerk off to how slutty I am. Not so great if you’re going to try to touch me without permission. Or get in any way pushy about it.)

I was wearing just a black full slip and my collar. I greeted the guest at the door and the three of us sat in the living room talking a little bit. MasterDoc took some time to caress my face, grab my hair, all those things that help put me in the right headspace for submitting. He had me suck his cock for a bit and I immersed myself in it. The past day or so I’ve gotten more pleasure out of serving than usual. Last night I was happy to spend time massaging MasterDoc to make his sore shoulder feel better. I was having an evening where just being near him made me happy.

This morning that mood continued. He had me get on all fours and crawl over to where our guest put the money for the show in an envelope (and give a bark along the way *blush*). I picked it up with my hand and he scolded me saying he wanted me to get it with my mouth. This puppy thing is really taking off. I put it in my mouth and crawled over to MasterDoc. He took the envelope and petted me. Then I was allowed to get back up again. I felt embarrassed, he seems to be doing a lot of humiliation stuff with me. I’m not entirely sure why I felt embarrassed though. As long as I’m in a situation where a submissive slut is desired, why should I feel embarrassed?

We moved into the bedroom. The playroom is set up well now, with even a couple of chairs in there (thanks DeeDee!). I already had the throe on the bed since it was practically inevitable that if I came I’d squirt. I slid deep into subspace rather easily. The morning is a bit of a blur because of this, but let’s try to piece things together, shall we?

MasterDoc spread my legs and used the cane on me. He hit my inner thighs, breasts, cunt and so on. As I was solidly in subspace the sensation was arousing rather than painful. I was thrilled to be his toy, thrilled to be on display. He demonstrated how he could do anything he wanted to me. Submission is definitely a kink for me, and with a guest over, MasterDoc behaved more brusque and forceful than usual – and I loved it. He really got into calling me a piece of meat and making me feel like I existed solely to be used for sex. This is definitely a kink I like to indulge sometimes.

He had me suck his cock, and our guest loved it when he choked me but good on it. (Yeah, yeah I loved it too.) I love how it leaves me drooling all over his cock and breathless. I imagine that my make up was messed up by this time as choking can make my eyes water. But all this was hot. I was hot. I was being a very dirty slut. And I love being a dirty slut.

MasterDoc made me come a few times, I can’t recall the exact order of things. He fucked me, making me moan in desperation to come. He let our guest play with my tits and being groped furthered my arousal. I was just on the tipping point of coming without permission when he gave me permission to come. Fuck. I came so hard. I really wish I could show you all a video of how hard I came – and for how long. I’m still physically tired from the orgasms. At one point, I squirted a TON onto the throe and our guest (and MasterDoc) seemed to love it. I love when everything about me is uninhibited and sexual. I love being treated like a piece of fuckmeat, so long as it’s consensually done with someone who doesn’t genuinely think that’s all I’m good for.

I’m proud of my intelligence, but also proud of my capacity for sexual pleasure. MasterDoc has pointed out to me many times that some women would be thrilled to have just one of my ultra-intense orgasms in her lifetime. Me, I get them on a regular basis. Having a Dom who has taken a lot of time to watch my reactions and learn what gets me going really leads to amazing sex. I’m thrilled that his taking the time to teach me exactly what he wants has led to me being able to turn him on with just my hands (and not on his cock either!).

The second fucking had me on top, and I was sure as hell going to enjoy myself. I rode his cock, and he first let the guest hold my butt cheeks apart to get a better view, but ultimately he let the guy lube up my ass and finger it. Holy fuck, being double penetrated like that felt amazing. I came and it probably resembled a hurricane or some other force of nature. (Davey used to call me a force of nature. If I want something badly enough I have been known to make things happen. But I have to want it badly enough.) MasterDoc must have been feeling generous because touching me is decidedly NOT part of the show. Often the guys don’t lay a finger on me. They are told in no uncertain terms up front that they are not to touch me. Sometimes MasterDoc feels comfortable and lets them lend a hand.

I totally collapsed after that last round of fucking and orgasm. Seriously, I lay face down on the bed, immobile for what seemed like ten minutes. I finally found the strength to get up and go rinse myself off.

When I returned, MasterDoc had been talking to our guest and he decided that I should demonstrate my prostate massage skills on our guest. I gloved up and put a huge glob of lube in my hand. This guy stood in front of me while I sat on the bed, and I slowly worked my finger inside his ass. He had never experienced this before, and I told him to please speak up if anything hurts at all (it’s not supposed to hurt). Rather than hurting it seemed like it felt great for him. I focused on pressing and stroking his prostate gland. He stroked his cock at the same time and asked if it was okay if he came on my tits. I had no problem with it, and didn’t think MasterDoc would mind either. (Heck, he might be extra proud for the extra sluttiness!)

After our guest came, all over my tits and all over the blanket, I rinsed myself off again and collapsed into bed. MasterDoc saw him out and got involved with a phone call. I waited for him to finish to get the aftercare I desperately needed. While I had a fantastic time, it was a very intense sort of scene and I felt kinda like in a state of shock after. I was cold, a little ill-feeling, but all I needed to feel good again was some food, water and cuddles. Even a fantastic scene can be draining and leave me in a needy heap. But once I’ve recovered I can enjoy the fond memories and feel good.

I need to check my ass, as that got caned well too and I may actually have some bruising for memorabilia. As I checked off the categories of this post, I remembered that the wartenburg wheel played an early part in the scene, as did the magic wand. I feel so fortunate to have such a rich sexual life that I can forget amazing things that happened. I love my sex life.

Nadia’s Surprise

Published on February 1, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, cunt, D/s, edge play, flogging, horny, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, needle play, nipple clamps, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, poly, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, sybian, threesome and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

MasterDoc informed me on Saturday that he had a surprise planned for me on Sunday. I looked forward to it, but at the same time I was horny and wanted to fool around! I had to be patient Saturday night, but it paid off on Sunday. You see, my surprise was Blondie coming over so the two of them could top me. Rowr.

They decided amongst themselves to do a medical scene. MasterDoc got two of his white lab coats and they each put one on. They took me into the bedroom and secured me spread eagle with the under bed restraints. I giggled a lot as they spoke as if they were doctors who were going to treat me. Apparently the treatment was for the fact that I hadn’t had an orgasm since Thursday.

But before I’d get an orgasm, they played around with clamps and clothespins. When the clover clamps were removed from my labia a few minutes later I let out a scream. Blondie seems noticeably more sadistic than MasterDoc. He had warned me a long time ago that female Doms were vicious. Blondie put a clothespin on my nasal septum – ow! You should have heard me begging to have it taken off. “Ow! Ow! Please take it off! Please take it off! I can’t take it! Please take it off!” I don’t care if that makes me sound like a wimp, it hurt like a motherfucker! After a good amount of torture (including clamps strung from my nipples to my labia) MasterDoc took on the magic wand and made me come. I gushed a ton and it must have been amazing to watch. Unfortunately that meant my throe was soaking wet the rest of the evening.

Blondie took some photos of me in flagrante delicto while bound to the bed. I will post some here when she sends them to me.

They did so much to me and it was dizzying to get so much attention, stimulation and orgasms that I’m sure I’ll leave out parts unintentionally. I hope that if Blondie or MasterDoc read this and remember something I’ve forgotten, they will leave a comment or comments.

My arms were so sore from being held above me (not to mention the fact that I tend to tense up while in bondage and being tortured like that). They let me free and then had me get on hands and knees. MasterDoc inserted two needles into one butt cheek. Blondie, who has training in acupuncture, got to try doing needle play that day (she’s done it on the receiving end before, I believe.). Unfortunately, with her experience in solid, thin acupuncture needles, she inserted the hollow hypodermic needles very slowly. MasterDoc asked later how that was for me – if it was better than his technique. I had to say no. It prolonged the pain in a bad way – pain with the first puncture, the feeling of the needle dragging through the skin and then the pain as the needle came out the skin – and didn’t seem to increase the endorphin rush at all. There was caning. And MasterDoc fingering my ass. And probably another orgasm? As I said, the afternoon is a blur.

I got a brief rest, and Blondie came back in with her strap on. Rowr. She has a nice size cock. I knelt on the bed and she tried to enter me from behind while I sucked MasterDoc’s cock, which was right in front of my face. I had to scoot to the end of the bed and put my feet on the floor so she could get the right angle. It was fucking hot to be fucked at one end and sucking cock at the other. MasterDoc seemed particularly hard. I think I was allowed to come again during this – my brain cells have been scrambled by all the delicious orgasms.

Next, they changed ends and MasterDoc fucked me while I sucked on Blondie’s strap on. I squirted some more, worrying that perhaps I was splashing the carpet a bit. I kept slacking off on the strap on sucking and getting admonished by both of them to keep it up.

We stopped for dinner, which was perfect timing. I was exhausted by this time!

After dinner, I was given the pleasure (“job” didn’t seem the right word) of warming up Blondie for a ride on the sybian. I had her on the bed, fingering her cunt. MasterDoc came in and took over and I started sucking on her tits while he fingered her. The girl let out some of her usual piercing screams of pleasure. In MasterDoc’s building I worry less about neighbors being disturbed by orgasmic shouts – as long as it’s not late at night.

We moved to the living room and I sat in front of Blondie while she rode the sybian. She could lean on me and I got to be up close as she came. It was pretty damn amazing (as always) listening to the noises that are yanked out of a woman as she becomes very aroused and orgasms. MasterDoc ran the controls and it was definitely cool to hold her during the experience. I do have a better understanding now of why MasterDoc enjoys giving sybian rides so much.

As Blondie recovered, I asked if I could get a sybian ride. (Yeah, I know, greedy slut.) MasterDoc started warming me up, then Blondie sat on my other side on the couch and they both played with my body. MasterDoc excused himself to set up the sybian for the next ride and left Blondie warming me up. This was the first sybian ride in a while for me. Blondie gave me some hard caning while I got worked up on the sybian. I asked permission to come, and MasterDoc consulted with Blondie… and she said no I couldn’t yet! Argh! She really is too tough for me. *grin* She wanted me to grind and hump the machine so I gladly obliged, hoping for permission to come. It was eventually granted, and I kept coming and coming and coming. I felt exhausted, but I couldn’t stop coming as long as the stimulation was there. It was kinda hot in a way. I collapsed on the floor for a while after, dazed and content.

Heavy Beating

Published on January 29, 2011 in bdsm, caning, consensual non-consent, D/s, dom, edge play, flogging, gags, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, sadism, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive, Uncategorized and wax play. 0 Comments

On Thursday, I asked MasterDoc if I could have a beating that night. He had just been thinking the same thing. Apparently he was in an ass whupping mood.

He used duct tape for a gag, something that really turns me on. I could just make muffled moaning noises through the gag. I knelt on the bed, ass in the air, Axis under me for support. My nose was a little stuffy so I focused a lot on how my breathing was doing. I did fine but when gasping over pain or holding my breath, as I often to when coming, I was concerned.

He startled me by starting off with wax. I didn’t hear him light the candle, but I sure felt the hot wax hit my ass. He followed up with some on my upper back, and once again on my ass. He used the vampire gloves to scratch my body. Again the feeling was unlike any other.

He still has the leather flogger with studs at the end of each strand. I keep hoping he gets it back to the Dom who owns it. *sigh* He beat me but good with that flogger that night. It delivers the type of pain that I find hard to handle. I would start pulling away from it, climbing higher on the bed. He told me to keep still and I knew I should do my best to obey.

Something that hadn’t struck me when he mentioned being in the mood to give a beating was that he was in a particularly sadistic mood.

He pushed my limits quite a bit that night. Sometimes accidentally, like when he’d grab an ass cheek to spread them and forget he was wearing the vampire glove on one hand. He took a cane to me and it hurt a great deal as well. The funny thing is, with anyone else I’d feel abused. With him I feel like it’s a challenge I want to meet. It hurts, but I know that after I will feel delightfully calm. I want to see how much I can take. (Who says subs are weak?)

It wasn’t until later that I discovered he used the largest cane on me because it was the only one in the room at the time. He held back with it since he knew the thick, heavy cane would hurt much more than the others. But again I found myself impotently screaming underneath my gag as he pushed my limits some more.

This beating went on for a long time. He would let up slightly which would give me a moment to catch my breath and register that I was ok. But shortly after he would pick up the studded flogger again.

He gave me a little time with his large, heavy buffalo flogger. After the acute pain of the other one, the large thud of the heavy flogger feels delightful. He flogged my ass with it, throwing the flogger heavily (later he complained that the big flogger uses so much effort, unlike the little one). He followed with flogging my upper back a little.

After what seemed like an eternity, he switched on the Hitachi and pressed it to my cunt. I could have come in no time flat if he wanted to make me. I held back but it was a huge struggle not to come at times. He would toss in some small flogger hits or a slap of his vampire gloved hand. I moaned like a desperate animal in heat. After a while, I could feel my cunt release a bunch of squirt and the vibe took on a splashy sound. He pushed me to orgasm for a good long time until it was apparent that my body couldn’t keep doing it. He told me I could fall forward.

I was speechless, and happy. I motioned the question of, “Could I remove the gag,” and he said yes. As he lay down on the bed next to me I pulled my dazed self closer to him. A cuddle in the aftermath of a limit pushing scene is vital.

He commented on a little blood coming out on the skin of my ass. We debated if the stripes on one cheek were cane stripes or vampire glove scratches. I’m not sure what it was but those marks are still on my ass. Scratches, I’m thinking? I actually bruised a little, something that seems nearly impossible to do to me lately. MasterDoc will be happy.

I’m happy.

Lucky

Published on January 24, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, caning, crazy, D/s, depression, emotions, gags, kink, masochism, mental illness, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex toys, spanking and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Occasionally a Dominant will read this blog and declare that MasterDoc is lucky to have me. What they don’t see is the work that goes into being my Dom and taking care of me. I make no bones about my struggle with depression and some days MasterDoc really has his hands full with me.

Certainly, in some ways he is lucky. But when I’ve slipped into depression and not realized that’s what it is, I can be horrible. The other day I just kept complaining and complaining. If my words were to be believed, MasterDoc can’t do anything right. Thankfully, part way through the day I realized MasterDoc was NOT the issue at all – depression was. Still, it was a hard day for him, but bless his heart he was patient with me the whole time, refusing to give up on me even though I could only see life through a negative lens.

I spent a lot of time alone the rest of the day, in one of his bedrooms. He would check on me periodically and DeeDee even popped in to bring me some tapioca pudding. It was a rough day for me because it was one of those rare times when I don’t just feel depressed, I feel crazy. I don’t want to get into personal details, but rest assured I was nuts and feeling miserable. I wanted to hide until I felt sane again.

Thankfully MasterDoc’s patience helped and eventually I started to feel better. That evening he gave me some delicious orgasms and feeling good physically helped me along mentally. The cuddles and his listening to me unburden the crazy thoughts in my head helped even more.

I’ve been feeling potentially unstable since then, but ultimately keeping my shit together. I had a nice weekend with MasterDoc and DeeDee, and Sunday afternoon MasterDoc and I got some time alone when I wasn’t feeling crazy. He had me blow him while he spoke on the phone, and I enjoyed having his cock in my mouth since I hadn’t had it often lately.

A bit later, he had me lay on my stomach on the bed. I lay over a pillow so my back wouldn’t bother me and the throe was between me and the pillow. He bound me down to bed using the under bed restraints. I’ve sometimes complained that I don’t get enough bondage, and the little bondage fetishist in me was doing a happy dance. He pulled the restraints snug and there was no way I could get out.

He put on my collar, a blindfold, and finally a gag. I have issues with gags that go inside the mouth and unfortunately he chose one. I did my best to remember what he taught me – breathe slowly through the nose. If you breathe too quickly your nostrils pull in and you don’t get enough air. This soon wasn’t enough, however, between a stuffy nose, the blindfold pressing on the bridge of my nose and finally trying to cope with the pain of a caning. It’s impossible to focus your breathing and breathe slowly when crying out in pain.

He didn’t go immediately to the cane, but surprised me by grabbing my ass with one of the vampire gloves I got him for his birthday last year. He swatted my ass with it, ran it up my back. It was a sensation a step away from tickling and a step away from pain. I liked it. He started caning me, and immediately before he checked to make sure I could beg for mercy through the gag. As soon as he asked that, I knew I was in for quite a ride.

He kept caning me past my usual limits. It hurt a lot, but I was able to deal with it because I knew it would end. I knew I would have a lovely sense of calm after it stopped. He would alternate with the vampire glove and every touch was a surprise. Every strike a bit of a shock.

After my ass was well reddened, he grabbed the Hitachi and placed it between my legs. He spanked a bit, I moaned and tried to get my clit in better contact with the vibe. This went on alternating and I could have come quite easily from the vibe but chose to hold off. He took the vibe away and spanked my pussy for a while. Even this was enough to put me near the edge. I finally got out, “May I please come, Sir?” (I had pushed the gag out of my mouth by this point so I could breathe.) He held off a second or two, then let me come. He pushed the Hitachi to my cunt and I kept coming harder and harder.

When he was finished I lay there, still face down, my arms and legs still bound to the bed. It was bliss. I had to ask him to release me a few minutes later because my arms were starting to hurt, secured above my head like they were. He undid my arms and ankles, and I got to cuddle close to him. I love cuddles with him. They feel amazing. Being in his arms was the best therapy I could have. I started this entry talking about how others think he’s lucky to have me, but I know that I’m lucky to have such a wonderful Dom to love and take care of me.

Dark Fantasy

Published on January 15, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dom, edge play, exhibitionism, fantasy, gang bang, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Depression is not helpful for a fun sex life, so I haven’t done anything much with MasterDoc in a few days. (Except for a therapeutic caning Tuesday night that really did seem to lift my mood.) But I’ve been thinking naughty things and figured I’d write a little fantasy. Note: I refer to MasterDoc both as Sir and MasterDoc in this story. The rest of the characters don’t have names.

I can hear people arriving from where I lay in the bedroom. I’m playing with my cunt because Sir has told me to get it ready. I have no idea who is coming into the apartment or what will happen, but I do as I’m told.

I’m fairly close to orgasm when Sir comes in. He gives me a talk, hands on either side of my face, and tells me that I’m not to let him down. I’m to be a good little cunt and do as he says. He leads me into the living room where there’s about three men and one woman. I vaguely know one or two but not the others. I’m naked, except for my collar, leather cuffs on each wrist and ankle, and a leash hanging from the D ring on my collar. Sir leads me into the center of the room with the leash.

He takes a seat in a chair, and motions for me to sit on the floor by his feet. I do so and he starts talking. “Here’s our submissive cunt for the evening. Remember, condoms are to be used for any vaginal or anal sex. You are free to fuck her or make her go down on you as you wish, but you must clear any pain play with me first.”

I don’t know whether to be excited or scared. I’m looked at like a piece of meat laid out for a pack of hungry animals. He sends me around to each of our guests and instructs me to nuzzle their crotches through their pants. I crawl up to where each sits and do as I’m told, catching a whiff of muskiness from each crotch.

After I’ve finished this, he says, “Come back here slut. It’s time we got you warmed up.” These words make me anticipate genital stimulation, but when he grabs the canes I realize that’s not what he had in mind.

My wrist cuffs are joined together in front of me by a carabiner – something too short for me to undo myself. He swats my ass with the canes as I kneel face down, ass up. I hold still when I can handle the sensation but flinch forward when it hurts. The crowd admonishes me to say still whenever I flinch and I do my best. When my ass is quite sore, MasterDoc has me kneel on the floor and take his cock out of his pants with my bound hands. I suck him hard, and when his cock is its full size he grabs hold of my hair tightly. One of the guests says, “Oh yeah, choke her on it!’

He forces my head down so that his cock is entirely in my mouth. I can feel my throat working as I struggle not to gag. I last several seconds, and then MasterDoc pulls my head away as globs of saliva run down my chin and form a string between his cock and my mouth. He does this several times until I’m breathless and a bit lightheaded. Sometimes he slaps my face when he’s pulled it off his cock. I can feel the hands of some of our guests start to grope my body. One hand checks out my wet cunt. Another squeezes a nipple.

I am thrust back down onto the floor but this time on my back. The woman grabs hold of my cuffs and holds my hands above my head. One of the men takes a cane to my thighs and cunt when MasterDoc hands it to him. I figure this was something pre-agreed upon. Thankfully, Sir had passed him the lightest cane we have.

Still, ugly red stripes start to form on my inner thighs. When he smacks my cunt with it I think I can’t possibly handle the pain. One of the men places a strip of duct tape across my mouth so my cries won’t disturb the neighbors. MasterDoc and one of the other men holds my legs apart so I can’t get away from the cane blows.

Just as the pain makes me cry, MasterDoc signals to stop. Our guests back off, and MasterDoc holds me on the floor for a little while, telling me what a good girl I am. I cry softly, but it’s a cathartic release rather than any sadness.

Dinner delivery arrives and I wonder if the delivery person can see me naked and limp on the floor in the living room. My wrists are undone and the tape removed from my mouth so I can get up and serve dinner. I set the table, fetch drinks for our guests. They take liberties in touching me as I move around the table serving. Beforehand Sir told me I would be eating dinner on the floor. One of the men secures my wrist cuffs behind my back, and I have to eat without my hands, out of a bowl. Since leaning forward with my hands behind me would be too difficult, I am graciously allowed to have my bowl on a low stool so I don’t have to bend as far. As the guests eat and talk I’m mostly ignored, until one of them wants to comment on the mess on my face. I think to myself that there are animals with more dignity than I have right then. I eat as best I can. One of the men wipes my face with a warm, wet cloth and then pulls me by the hair until my mouth envelops his cock.

I suck and feel more hands on my body. I’m helpless as my wrists are behind me. I get pinched, poked, prodded. Someone produces a vibrator and holds it to my clit. It becomes so difficult to focus on my work on our guests’ cock that I slow down my efforts. I get my hair yanked and admonished to “Get back to work you dirty whore!” I try to focus but the vibe on my clit keeps distracting me.

My head gets moved around so I can suck all the cocks there. MasterDoc is stroking his cock and sizing me up as to what to do next.

I’m taken into the bedroom, where he lubes up my ass. My wrists are unbound so I can support myself in doggy-style. The woman takes off her clothes and lays down so my mouth is right at her crotch. I’m instructed to lick her pussy well (lest I get punished) and MasterDoc shoves his cock into my ass. He fucks me and I lick the clit and lips of this woman’s wet cunt. She moans and it seems like I’m doing a good job. MasterDoc, however, keeps varying his speed so I get terribly aroused and distracted. I’m desperate to come but I know that it won’t happen quickly tonight.

I had been asking for resistance play sometime, and I was told earlier that I would get it tonight. After a short break, for which I’m thankful, Sir slaps my face and grabs me by the hair. “Time to fight, cunt.” he tells me.

I struggle to get loose but of course our guests join in and grab various limbs. I feel myself forced onto the bed where my cuffs get secured to the underbed restraints. I struggle up until the last moment and at times I manage to slip an arm or a leg away from my tormentors. But in the end it’s useless. I’m spread eagle on the bed, terribly vulnerable. I’m gagged again, and blindfolded this time.

I feel the cool rub of alcohol swabs at various points on my body. MasterDoc gives a demonstration of play piercing to our guests. I get called all sorts of degrading names – fuck hole, pincushion, slut, cunt, bitch – while he pierces me. I get incredibly anxious when I feel him swab my outer labia – both sides. “This is gonna hurt, cunt.” he tells me. He has me breathe in deeply, and then while I’m breathing out he slides a sharp, sharp needle through one of my outer labia. We’ve done this before, but it’s still somehow shocking to have my labia pierced.

Sir strokes my body (and probably some guests do too, I’m not sure since I can’t see) to soothe me before he plants another needle in the other labia. He tugs on it a bit and I moan under my gag. A few more needles go in the skin on my chest, these are a bit hesitant so I wonder if it’s one or more of the guests doing the piercing. I can hear someone’s breath drawn in sharply. They’ve gotten a thrill from piercing me. From making me hurt. One of them says something admiringly about the tiny drop of blood that one of the piercings has brought out.

The needles are withdrawn and I can hear movements. Next thing I know, I’m being fucked by guest after guest. I’m allowed to come during this and keep orgasming too many times to count. The woman goes at me with her strap on. She’s positively vicious with pinching my nipples. The gag is taken off and a cock shoved into my mouth while my cunt is being fucked. The dual action of a cock being shoved into my throat and a cock being shoved into my cunt is overwhelming. Soon I’m gasping and drooling between cock thrusts. The lot of them make me come more than I ever thought possible while taking turns violating my body. I squirt a few times and can feel the throe beneath me soaking wet.

“You said you wanted me to be rougher with you,” says MasterDoc. He rips off the blindfold and I watch him jerk off onto throe. The guests undo my bindings, and MasterDoc shoves my face into his come and rubs me into it. As he holds my head to the puddle of come, I can feel other guys shooting their loads all over my back. I’m a totally come-covered whore. And honestly, it’s bliss.

The guys take me into the shower and MasterDoc commands me to kneel down. I’m sticky with come and they offer to rinse me off. It seems like I’m instantly surrounded and they’re all pissing on me. I cry silently from the humiliation. They all tell me what a dirty piss whore I am.

They leave me, reeking of piss and shivering in the cold tub. The last thing Sir said when he left was that I was allowed to shower. I quickly rinse the piss off my body and out of my hair. I towel off and put my cuffs and collar back on and return to the living room where everyone’s having drinks.

MasterDoc motions for me to sit on the sofa next to him and I do. He puts his solid arms around me and kisses my forehead. “You’ve been a very good slut today. I’m proud of you.” I glow with pride over having been used, abused and come through it feeling amazingly calm. Endorphins rock.

Our guests leave a short time later, all thanking me for the good time. I thank them of course and MasterDoc has me kneel on the floor and kiss everyone’s crotches goodbye.

After they’ve left, we snuggle in bed. I’m exhausted but so very happy.

Happy to Be Stuck with You

Published on January 9, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, D/s, gags, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

On the heels of feeling needy and insecure, I’ve luckily ended up with a lot of time alone with MasterDoc this weekend. I think it has done me a world of good. Thursday night he came back from a tryst and called me into the playroom. He had me drop my underpants so he could put a butt plug in my ass. Funnily enough, this was the sort of thing I had just put into my Wishing Box that night.

As I sat on the sofa, every so often he would tell me to wiggle my butt. He’d ask if I could feel the plug in there, and I pretty much never forgot about it. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was very noticeable. I was allowed to take it out at bedtime.

The next day, we had the whole day alone. He had to go out for some errands, but in the afternoon we got freaky.

My back was bothering me, so he kindly gave me a massage. His strong hands kneaded the muscles in my lower back. I felt much better after. Back massages from him can feel like bdsm since he massages very hard. It loosens up the muscles, but it hurts while he’s doing it.

He had me get up on hands and knees and he gave me a caning. It was actually harder than usual, yet still amazing. I was surprised at how much I could enjoy the sting. I’m kinda curious now if I could take the thickest cane at all. I doubt I could stand it for long, but we’ve never tried it. He used the two thinner canes on me and I was pleased that he pushed me a bit by repetitive thwacks on my ass. I’d love to try that while my mouth is sealed with duct tape and my hands secured together.

In between, we cuddle and chat. He reminded me that I’m “stuck with him.” While this sounds like a negative sort of statement, I find it very comforting when I’m insecure. He promises he’s not going anywhere. I often get afraid that new pussy will lure him away. I worry that I’ve gotten boring by being familiar. After reassurance, he made me come over and over with his hands. When I’m hungry for reassurance, having him touch me feels like an orgasm in itself. I don’t want this to sound like I can live without orgasms – I can’t – but there are even times lately when I feel so amazing from being touched that I feel a certain satisfaction from that alone. I’ve reached a point where I can just enjoy feeling good without focusing quite so much on the end result – coming.

I felt cold, and he climbed on top of me. His body warmed me up as it enveloped mine. He called me a very receptive piece of meat as I shivered from his touch. In the submissive mood I’ve been in lately, I love hearing stuff like that! He also called me a nasty slut. Yes, Sir! I want to be called all manner of dirty things as he shoves his cock down my throat and slaps my face.

I truly love sucking his cock. I love knowing the things that work for him and making him feel good. I’ve become a total cock choking slut. The other day he really held my head down on his cock. I could feel my throat start to work to try to eject his cock. A gag and gurgle came from my mouth. When he let me up, I gasped, “Oh my god that’s hot!” It rendered plenty of saliva for me to give him a well lubricated blow job.

He fucked me from behind until I was so wound up. He pushes me to the edge then varies what he’s doing to keep me rarin’ to go without setting me off. I tried mentally to lay off orgasming, but then I got turned on again thinking about he could do this (tease me) as long as wanted. Ah, the power! He totally drove me insane then let me come (after several minutes of good, hard fucking).

I came hard on his cock for a while, squirting on the throe.

A little later, we had more fucking with me on top. I totally went crazy for his cock, riding it as hard as I could. (Getting in better shape has its perks!) I got so desperate to come that I actually slipped and begged, but he let me come this time.

Since I’ve been begging for him to come on my face lately, he decided that I had been a good girl and he came on my face that evening. I could feel my cheek become glazed with his come, and he rubbed his cock head against it. I waited until we were clearly done to go clean the come off my face. I used a wet washcloth and thought I had gotten it all, until I put my glasses on and found a huge glob near my ear. Ha ha. A little more wiping and it was cleaned up.

Fantasy Vignettes

Published on January 4, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, D/s, edge play, exhibitionism, fantasy, gags, gang bang, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

Scene 1: I’ve been kidnapped and I awaken tied up, naked, wrists and ankles bound, duct tape across my mouth. He teases and tantalizes my body despite my protests. My nipples receive the clover clamps. He grabs me by the hair and makes me suck his cock after he rips the tape off. He makes me come over and over despite my fighting it. He fucks me while I’m unable to get away because I’m bound.

Scene 2: Struggling with him, fighting him off. Him calling me a whore and other degrading things. Him slapping me around. Him spanking me even when I start getting desperate for him to stop. He could just gag me with duct tape and go to town on my ass with the cane. I could lay over the axis for the beating, and then be in just the right position for a fucking.

Scene 3: He fucks my mouth as I hang my head off the end of the bed. He gags me repeatedly on his cock. At the end, he comes all over my face.

Scene 4: He blindfolds me and lets all sorts of people at the swing club play with me and fuck me. I don’t get to know who fucked me.

Scene 5: I’m intoxicated to the edge of sleep and then fucked repeatedly by a group of men, all orchestrated by MasterDoc. This would be videotaped so I could fully enjoy after.

Scene 6: I have to do my best to move around and do things like suck his cock while my arms are restrained behind my back.

Scene 7: I become his slave for a few hours. I have to sit at his feet. I have to be always respectful or I get the cane. He would use me as he likes sexually. He can make me sit in the corner or tie me to something at a whim. I’d have to get his permission to use the toilet. He would make me wait until I was desperate and begging for it, and then he’d bring me (by leash perhaps?) into the bathroom, where he’d let me pee in the tub through my panties.

Scene 8: I ‘m bound at a party at his place (possibly just hands behind back or perhaps some ankle restraint as well so I have to shuffle along as I walk) and the guests get to play with my naked body as it pleases them. My hands are released for dinner but I have to eat mine out of a bowl on the floor, seated next to his chair, while the guests eat at the table. He later makes me masturbate to orgasm in front of the crowd. With a little luck, I squirt when I come.