Archive for the 'spanking' Category

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Simultaneous Orgasm

Published on May 17, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, anxiety, horny, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sex and spanking. 0 Comments

A busy weekend precluded me from blogging about my Friday night spent with MasterDoc until now. Going out had been the plan originally, but neither of us was feeling up for it. DeeDee had dinner with us and we hung out on the sofa for a bit. MasterDoc merely reached over at one point, stroked her pussy (as best I could see) and she came pretty much instantly. Impressive.

While MasterDoc bathed, I worked on getting porn on his laptop. I had been remiss in finding a porn clip to have handy for the next time we fooled around and I was trying to fix that by finding something while he was in the bath. He called me in for some help, and I let him know what I was doing. He told me that I should find one usual porn, and one with Ron Jeremy in it. Why (on earth) Ron Jeremy you ask? MasterDoc has been told he looks like Ron Jeremy, particularly years ago when MasterDoc had a pornstache. I have resisted this comparison for the longest time. “Ew! No! You are not like Ron Jeremy!”

I think MasterDoc is far cuter than Ron Jeremy, but yes, they are both chubby Jewish guys with big cocks born in New York in the same year. Okay, okay. There’s some similarity, as much as I hate to admit it. Particularly in general build.

DeeDee and I watched for a bit until MasterDoc came in from his bath. I might have been able to see Ron as charismatic like MasterDoc if not for the fact that the women were sooooo faking it. Before it dawned on me that they were clearly faking, I did start to wonder if, perhaps like MasterDoc, Ron Jeremy is actually a good lay.

MasterDoc and I retired to the bedroom while DeeDee went to hers. (She had had numerous orgasms in the afternoon courtesy of a gentleman friend.) Of course my anxiety closet isn’t full enough, that night I started getting anxious over how quickly DeeDee came. I started to worry that I was somehow inferior and “more work” since it took me longer to warm up and come. MasterDoc reassured me, shared a story of DeeDee having anxiety over not being like me, and I did my best to relax and trust that it’s really not anything to get upset about. He loves us both just as we are.

We watched some kinky Japanese porn I had picked out and each warmed ourselves up. (I had been hoping for some foreplay. Luckily I was pretty horny anyway.) He fucked me from behind. First he teased me with his cock around the entrance to my cunt and I kept trying to push back onto it. When he slid his cock in I let out a gasp. He fucked and teased me for a long, long time. He knows to vary the pace so he keeps me on the edge of coming. He spanked my ass from time to time. I’m aching to come when he starts sounding worked up enough to actually come himself. (MasterDoc coming during intercourse is a very rare occurrence.) So I put off asking for my orgasm for a while longer, but also feeling that much more worked up knowing he might come while his cock is inside me. I was frenzied and working so hard to not come yet, to not beg for release.

And, hallelujah, after a little more time he began to come. And then told me to come. I came extra hard knowing that he was coming too. He kept fucking me as I came. After, I was exhausted but so very happy. When he and I can come at the same time it’s a special thing.

Thankfully, he didn’t make me lick the come out of the condom. But that’s one of those icky things I’m sure he will make me do someday.

Oops, I Did It Again

Published on May 4, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, embarrassment, exhibitionism, horny, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex parties, sex toys, sexuality, slut, spanking and submissive. 2 Comments

It had been nearly a week since we had been together. I wrote some erotica over the weekend that made me stop and masturbate in the middle of writing it. I was so incredibly wet that afternoon. I should write erotica more often as I really enjoyed putting together this last one. Right now my sexual theme seems to be about mental sex more than the physical, so writing out a fantasy can be nearly as fulfilling as doing it. (Nearly. Not quite.) I’m getting better and better at working myself up mentally when I’m thinking about MasterDoc.

I did some of this last night while he went off to use the restroom after we arrived at the club. I watched some porn that I could see from the next room, and I thought about how slutty it was that I wore a perfectly presentable dress out to the club with no panties. I think in a way it’s hotter to be wearing a dress that makes you look like a 1950′s housewife when you’re out slutting around than wearing slutty clothes. Slutty clothes are so predictable. I want to seem like the girl next door whose perverse desires have taken away her inhibitions.

When MasterDoc came back and lay down with me, all it took was a few words and some gentle touches before I was breathing heavy and wanting to come. He threatened me with the scenario of doing a piss scene in public and having other random men piss on me too. He knows that this is something that will set up a struggle within me. I will feel like I’m sick and sorta bad to want something like that, but I do want it and it’s really hot to want to do something that’s just so out there and so wrong. Just by threatening me with these scenes he arouses me tremendously. And that’s where the idea of mental sex comes in. His fucking with my mind can be hotter than just physical stimulation. I’m always glad for the physical to follow and finish off the deal, but foreplay using my brain is just so fucking hot. Being a submissive, for me, is rooted in wanting to be stimulated mentally, in enjoying the way he plays with my brain as much as the way he plays with my cunt.

He toyed with my body a bit. My cunt was quite accessible with just a lift of my dress. I didn’t take the dress off all night despite all that I got up to. I find that I start leaning into him and feeling like I’m being pulled into his center of gravity or something. I can’t get enough of his touch, his voice, his breathing, his skin, his cock. He had me suck his cock for a while, and I got lost in doing it. It was such a turn on to suck his cock, and then again a turn on to think how it must turn him on that I genuinely love sucking his cock.
He had me get out a condom and get on top. After working myself up over the weekend through my story and all the anticipation of seeing him yesterday, I was unfettered by inhibitions. I rode his cock, moaning at how it felt good. He would thrust up into me and I’d get lost in the feelings of arousal. If I started to become aware of my surrounding again, he’d fuck harder and then I’d be lost in the sensation. Sex with him can be so overwhelming that I truly lose track of all that’s around me. But then, blocking out the people watching, who I love having watch, helps me deal with feeling so terribly slutty about wanting to have people watch.

I rode him for quite a while, and finally begged him to let me come. He let me and it was amazing. I rode him furiously until I was spent and we both needed a rest and something to drink. I felt great after. I think he did as well.

After some rest, he had me suck his cock some more. Once hard, he had me get on hands and knees and use a vibrator on myself. (I used the Gigi on my clit.) He paddled my ass a bit and fucked me from behind. I’m not sure how many people were watching as I made a point of turning my head away from the door. His cock stayed hard for what seemed like an eternity. I was senseless from the fucking and eventually had to beg to come again. I was a sweaty mess, hair tangled in my hand, as I came and came, pressing my face into the bed. He kept me coming for so long I wasn’t sure I could physically handle it after a while.

After I had rested a little, he let another guy touch me. I hadn’t seen this guy at all, I had no idea who it was. But being MasterDoc’s slut was such a tremendous turn on for me – it didn’t matter who it was, what mattered was that I was being groped and fingered for his pleasure. The guy fingered me to orgasm while I continued to use the Gigi on my clit. MasterDoc spoke about what a slut I was while he was doing it, and he handed the guy a condom so he could fuck me. Damn. Having a faceless fuck who my Dom picked out was so fucking hot. It got me really worked up and I came some more.

In yet another act of incredible sluttitude, the guy lubed up my ass and put it in, and I figured that MasterDoc surely saw what was going on and was okay with it. And when this guy’s cock entered my ass and it felt a little underlubed, I got off on getting roughly ass fucked by some stranger under my Dom’s control. The funny thing is, afterward he acted surprised that I was fucked up the ass, although this time he did know it was going on. (Remember last time something similar happened?) We had to teach the guy not to put his dick back in my pussy after, however, without changing condoms. (It really is dismaying how little people know about sex, and how things like ass-to-pussy is a no-no.)

I was spent and MasterDoc could tell so he had the guy stop fucking me. I lay there getting my breath back. I wanted to cuddle, but I was truly too tired to shift over a foot or two to reach MasterDoc. Instead, I reached out and played with “the spot” on his chest from afar. He came over to me when I spoke up that I wanted a cuddle, but couldn’t move.

You would think after all this I would be done for the night. But no, I was still horny. MasterDoc fucked me again, this time with him on top. I loved cracking open my eyes to look up into his when I could manage it. I am so hot for him.

We got drinks after the last round (need to rehydrate!) and snacked a bit (fucking makes me hungry). I was still feeling like a horny slut but MasterDoc clearly was ready to go. So I dialed down my horniness and prepared to leave.

At the last minute, a couple of Hasidm came in and MasterDoc mumbled something about how we have to do a show for them before we go. (His ex once said that his ultimate fantasy would be to have sex in Macy’s window. You know, the one in downtown New York City….) He sat on a sofa in the common area, put a pillow on the floor for me, and had me suck his cock for all to see. I really fucking enjoyed it. I realize that this is the sort of thing that gets women shunned from our uptight, puritanical, American society (see what happened recently to sex blogger The Beautiful Kind) – but I am a woman who loves sex. I do fear that being so open about this fact on the blog could result in something like what happened to TBK, but I hope that by being open I can move along society and create more people who realize that being into sex doesn’t make someone dirty, bad, undesirable or less of a worker. Talking about sex doesn’t make me any less of a professional librarian. Having lots of sex doesn’t make me any less of a professional either.

The Man with the Sybian

Published on April 17, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, depression, emotions, exhibitionism, flogging, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, sex parties, sex toys, shio, spanking and squirting. 0 Comments

Last night I went out to a party with MasterDoc and DeeDee. She’s now staying with MasterDoc until she gets herself settled in New York, so we’ll get to hang out more often.

I was feeling blue and moody, thanks to the usual premenstrual issues, but I was at least able to control my feelings this time, and realize that they were hormonal rather than real issues. It was wonderful that DeeDee noticed I was out of sorts and she asked what she could do or not to that evening to help – this is why we’re friends. Just hearing that helped de-grumpify me a little bit.

We went out in the pouring rain because MasterDoc was bringing the sybian to this party, so he had an obligation to show up. I found early in the evening that I needed cuddles more than anything else, and DeeDee and I sat on either side of him on a sofa for a while after we arrived at the party. The cuddles definitely helped me. I was fortunate since MasterDoc and DeeDee had had sexual and bdsm fun in the afternoon, so he focused on me a little more which I really needed last night.

The party started really slowly. It seemed the singletons showed up early so no one was playing. I felt like we were beyond the kink level of the attendees, but later when things started picking up and more couples arrived, I found that while we were decidedly more sexual than most, the others there were pretty damn kinky. I went down on MasterDoc for a while (despite the slight discomfort from bending over in my waist cincher) and DeeDee took a turn after.

MasterDoc knows that spanking, coupled with orgasms, usually helps my mood a great deal. So he had me kneel on the sofa, facing the back and take my pants down. He spanked and flogged me for a while and it helped my asocial mood to be able to close my eyes and just focus on the beating. He soon had DeeDee kneel on the sofa next to me, and he took turns flogging, spanking and caning us both. It was strange to hear two blows but not feel anything (when he hit DeeDee) and then suddenly the next two blows hit my ass. He gave us vibes to play with and made us work ourselves up. It’s funny because both DeeDee and I felt kinda like it was somehow not okay to be so sexual when no one else was doing anything. But still, regardless of anxiety, MasterDoc’s voice telling us to come made us come at once. I was afraid to squirt on my pants that were down around my knees, so I held back a little, but I did come. The orgasms were kinda like skipping stones across a pond – not deep but repetitive.

MasterDoc gave me the first sybian ride of the evening, and the orgasms did me a world of good. If you ever get a chance to watch a woman on a sybian, please do. It is amazing how hard a woman can come – and now much! – when riding that amazing vibrator. My orgasms were insane – I kept coming over and over. Grabbing blindly at MasterDoc and coming uncontrollably. I squirted a couple of times and had to clean up afterwards. He kept pushing me until I was too exhausted to come any more. I lay down on the couch after and was happy when I could rest my head on MasterDoc’s lap. MasterDoc’s pms cure had worked again!

DeeDee is exploring her switchiness and she got to talking to a submissive man at the party. He seemed nice. Not entirely her type but at least he put service before his own kinky desires – quite refreshing compared to the guys DeeDee has met on collar me. He gave DeeDee a foot rub, and she kindly got him to give me one after. Ah it was wonderful. I may not be at all dominant, but I do appreciate a good foot rub. He did it as long as either of us wanted him to. He also bought DeeDee a soda when she asked, and later he helped her out of her panties when she went to ride the sybian and he held them during her ride – I’m sure that was an exciting bit of the night for him.

MasterDoc got another taker for the sybian and he gave a ride to another lady while her man held her up, and held her arms behind her back (oooh, restraint during intense orgasms! Me want!). DeeDee and I sat with the submissive man and discussed the progression that goes on during a sybian ride. It starts of seeming like nothing much, soon the woman is bucking her hips and riding the machine. Then it keeps intensifying and after a variable period of time she comes. Screaming orgasms. It may back off a little – partly because the body needs a break and partly because MasterDoc will turn down the vibrations a bit, but when he turns them back up another amazing orgasm is wrenched from her body. It is amazing and hot to watch. I think it’s even more so when you’ve been on a sybian yourself and you know the stages and how it feels.

The party host had a lady of his get a ride and didn’t let her come. Meanie! DeeDee and I were appalled and so thankful that MasterDoc isn’t into prolonged orgasm denial. Neither of us would be able to handle it. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to do, just not something that makes any sense whatsoever for me.

DeeDee wanted a sybian ride, so when MasterDoc looked around for more victims, er, volunteers I pointed to DeeDee to get his attention. Like I said earlier, the sub guy held her panties and while he fiddled with them a little he didn’t do anything creepy with them. It’s a shame he’s not more DeeDee’s type since he was quite nice, but I can see that a relationship wouldn’t really work with them. They’re not on the same page otherwise. DeeDee is really smart and educated, and she needs a man who can stimulate her intellectually.

MasterDoc hadn’t slept well the night before, and he decided to lay down on the couch and take a nap. He looked so cute sleeping there. There are times when you can still see the little boy inside the man and it’s incredibly endearing. DeeDee and I talked while MasterDoc napped.

Leaving was difficult since the party host wanted the sybian to stay around as long as possible, but I had worked that day and was pretty damn tired by 2 a.m. We were all ready to go home so we managed to say our goodbyes. The submissive guy happily carried the sybian out for us while MasterDoc pulled the car around.

I was in a much better mood after last night, and today, while I’m still feeling moody, I feel in relative control over myself. This is a good thing. MasterDoc had to go out in the morning for a while, and DeeDee and I just talked and talked for a few hours. As I tweeted at that time, life is good.

“Do it to Julia!”

Published on March 27, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, attraction, bdsm, blow jobs, commitment, cunnilingus, dom, embarrassment, emotions, exhibitionism, happy, horny, humiliation play, kink, libido, masochism, masturbation, musings, non-monogamy, optimism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, poly, sadism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and trust. 1 Comment

I’ve spent plenty of time the last two months bitching about struggling through PMS. I’m happy to say this month is better, but even though it seems like all is well, I can tell that in a way my mood has gone a bit manic this time. I’m not bipolar, but I think even in regular depression sometimes your mood will swing the other way – just far less often than a person with bipolar might experience. I find myself giddy this month, googly-eyed lovey, eager to do things. I went for an hour long walk today. I never do that! So while the symptoms this month could be described as “positive” I think it’s just another side of the coin from the “negative” symptoms of the past few months. I’m out of balance emotionally like I am every month, it’s just that this month seems more positive.

Last night I had a wonderful night out with MasterDoc. My giddy, lovey mood made me really appreciate how happy I am with him. I really got into our dynamic and realized how fulfilling it is for me. It’s funny, because I constantly struggle with two different desires – there’s a part of me that’s independent and wants to make my own damn decisions but there’s another part of me that wants nothing more than for him to have control. These two parts sometimes conflict. A part of me says that I shouldn’t just let someone else control me like he does, but then I am so turned on and so happy when he does take control.

When we arrived at the swing club, he poured us some water since the bartender wasn’t around. I had said I was thirsty and I couldn’t wait until the water was poured. But, rather than hand it to me, he took a drink first. I wanted to say something as I was so thirsty, but the look he gave me said it all. “I want to make sure you remember your place,” he said to me. I went weak in the knees.

All last night, I found that being his slut was hotter than anything else. I realized that while we do sometimes like swinging with others, there are times like last night where the real kink being satisfied out at the swing club is that I’m his whore, and he gets to show off just what I will do for him. He gets to talk to me like I’m a dirty slut in front of everyone and I don’t object but instead am obviously turned on. I follow his command without hesitation or argument when he tells me to suck his cock, or take my clothes off, or come.

I have moments when I worry that some people are judging me for being such a whore. But then I get so turned on by it that I forget to feel embarrassed. While some might judge me, I think that most people find how I am to be phenomenally hot. The single men at the club are all eager to talk to us in the hopes of joining in. I’m not gorgeous, I’m fat and flabby, but I am a sex goddess there. And I am his. He gets to be the guy who has control over this nymph who wants to fuck and fuck and fuck. (And the reason I want to fuck and fuck and fuck is because I’m so fucking turned on by him.) We’re parts of a whole. It’s a dynamic. I give up control, he takes control and we’re both happy in those states.

Just when I thought I was tired from coming, I’d look into his eyes again and I’d start breathing shallowly and I’d ache for him to touch me and make me come. He can make me come without even touching any of the typical erogenous zones. For me, the hottest part of sex is the mind-fuck, the control. While the stimulation of my pussy is wonderful, the fact that he controls when I come makes the fucking amazingly more intense. I realized last night that being submissive and kinky really are integral parts of my personality. As my Dom, he fulfills me so much that I am willing to struggle with insecurity and jealousy because sharing him with others is still way better than not having him in my life. I think I’m also starting to grow more secure. I’ve been making a concerted effort to focus on the positive and I have started noticing things I’d ignore before in favor of dwelling on the negative. I noticed last night, truly noticed and internalized, how much he enjoys being with me. And I’m starting to see that his wanting to spend time with others doesn’t diminish that. Since I’ve grown so very fond of DeeDee, I can totally see why he wants to spend time with her. And that makes it easier to go busy myself with something else when they want time alone. (She does the same for me.)

Is this a breakthrough or just the hyper-happiness of PMS? I really hope it’s the former.

Unlike most entries I’m not really telling the story of what sex acts we did last night. It just doesn’t seem as interesting to me as capturing what goes on mentally. He made me suck his cock and he choked me on it in front of everyone. He fingered me to orgasm in front of an audience, he made me come by just stroking my legs, butt, hip and breasts. He made me come over and over, uncontrollably. I squirted a huge puddle a couple of times. He fucked me hard and spanked me with the hard wooden paddle. He let some random guy eat me out, and I didn’t so much come from his abilities (which were ok but not great) but I came from knowing I was doing it because I’m MasterDoc’s slut. He made me come with my pants on just by grabbing my hair and talking dirty to me. I was so afraid I’d squirt in my pants!

I just kept thinking about how I’m really his whore and I will do nearly anything for him. That sort of power strikes me as scary at some moments, but I always come back to the key point that makes it not scary – he would never do anything to truly hurt me. He pushes my limits. He gets me to do things I thought I would never do, but he has never, not once done anything damaging to me. And even on the rare occasions where something didn’t quite work, he is fast to talk things over and make sense of what the issue was so he could avoid it in the future. Sometimes I think that it’s weird for a modern, feminist woman to be so deeply devoted to him, but I am.

The title of this entry came from MasterDoc, who of course got the line from George Orwell’s novel 1984. Near the end of the story, the main character (Winston) is locked up by the totalitarian government. They make him betray his love, Julia, by scaring him to death with something he fears the most (I want to say it was rats but I can’t recall). They make him break down and tell them that he wants them to do this horrible thing to Julia, not him. They make Winston betray her. MasterDoc has a knack for talking about something kinky and difficult and possibly painful, and he is good at making DeeDee and I encourage him to do it to the other, as long as he’s not doing it to us. He thinks this is hot. lol He really does like having power and control, doesn’t he?

“I want to be your dirty whore.”

Published on March 23, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, humiliation play, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking and squirting. 2 Comments

This past weekend I shared my time with MasterDoc with DeeDee. There’s sometimes bumps in the road of poly – unintentionally hurt feelings. But thankfully DeeDee is so easy to talk to, so we always talk things out and resolve them. I like her lots and I’m glad she’s in MasterDoc’s life (and mine).

But since we were sharing, we each made sure to have something other to do for at least one evening. Saturday night I went over to my friend DivaSub’s place and watched movies while DeeDee and MasterDoc got some alone time. On Sunday, it was my turn.

MasterDoc teased me and then pushed me to orgasm with the magic wand. Lately, I find myself wondering if I should really keep coming as long as he lets me. It’s like he wrings every last orgasm out of my body, and I love it. Rolling from orgasm to orgasm is amazing, and I get a kick out of it when I hear him chuckle sometimes as I writhe around in ecstasy. Strong, prolonged orgasms are as good as drugs. I think if I could have a long orgasm session with MasterDoc as needed while I’m battling PMS I could skip the benzodiazepine that I generally take to keep me calm when I’m particularly anxious.

The orgasms were so amazing that even though I can always go for more sex, I would have been quite happy with just that. However, we played for much longer.

I sucked his cock, getting it hard, thrusting it down my throat as far as I can. He gagged me on it a little and I find that lately I’m really turned on by roughness. The porn I watch is almost exclusively rough sex porn lately, and I have fantasies I hope to play out of being “forced” into sex with MasterDoc.

I guess I did a good job sucking his cock as he had me get on my knees at the edge of the bed. He fucked me standing up. I moan and drool and bite my thumb as he fucks me. I try to keep my arousal at the edge of peaking and it’s something that’s both wonderfully pleasurable and really difficult to do. While I’m thankful that he lets me come at the end, I’m also thankful that he makes me wait for it. I came and squirted. He stroked my body as I convulsed and he slid himself on top of me. He pressed his thigh in between my legs and told me to come once more and upon hearing his words I came, squirting against his leg.

By this time of the evening, I’m an interesting mix of satisfied, tired, and highly aroused. It seems the more sex I get, the more I want. This reminds me of the time I kept a friend with benefits up til 4 a.m. fucking and he had to cry uncle because I was hoping to go for one more round.

MasterDoc put on some piss porn. This porn consisted of a woman sucking hard on a guy’s cock while he peed in her mouth. I don’t know how she managed it, but in a strange way it was hot. I realized that the idea of being his dirty whore is hot. If asked, I would have denied that the porn was turning me on, however my body gave me away – MasterDoc noticed that I would twitch slightly every now and then. As we watched, I helped him come by playing with his asshole. After massaging his anus I gently worked a lubed finger in. I pressed against his prostate (or as close as I could get) and also on his perineum. This seemed to have a great effect. Even after he shot his load I continued making him twitch with gentle pressure in his ass until he told me to stop.

So I was fixated on the idea of being his dirty whore – I craved him doing something dirty and repulsive to me because I wanted to submit to him that deeply. He must have noticed my mood and he had me go into the bathroom and prepare myself for being pissed on. I tried running hot water to warm the tub up, but it unfortunately didn’t work much. The tub was horribly cold as I lay down in it and played with my clit. He stood over me and spoke teasingly, helping get me to the edge. I had permission to come when I felt his piss hit my body. He pissed all over my chest and belly while I came hard. It seemed like he pissed an extra long time, and an usually large quantity. But then I doubt I’ve really been in so close contact with the quantity a human typically pees until I experienced water sports.

After, I was happy and dazed and asked him if I could wash off. He let me wash off right away.

We had had a full, hot evening but as we watched more porn on the laptop, he decided he wanted to come once more. He jerked off as I rubbed one out. Coming is so easy when I’m that primed. We came at the same time and I loved it.

Fucking with an Audience

Published on March 11, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, emotions, exhibitionism, humiliation play, kink, masochism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking and squirting. 2 Comments

I recently spent a few days at MasterDoc’s and I took a day off from work to spend more time with him. We took advantage of my being off work and went out to the swing club the evening before. It was the kind of evening where I thrill to even the touch of his hand as we walked to the club. I was happy that we settled in a bed pretty quickly once we got to the club and started fooling around, with quite an audience forming.

I can’t recall the precise order of things. I know he had me put my collar on. I know he took the time to ask me if I was happy that I was going to get sex. (I felt insecure the other day when he wasn’t interested and needed reassurance that it wasn’t that he didn’t want sex with me (since, as I insecurely thought at the time, DeeDee must have met his needs the weekend before). I admitted openly at that time that I was aware it was my insecurity speaking.) He admonished me to focus more on the good things and less on the bad. He pointed out that being needy and clingy wouldn’t get me more time with him, it’s actually more likely to do the opposite.

At some point in the evening he slapped my face a bit as the crowd formed. I felt a little like he was upset with me and there seemed to be more public humiliation than usual that night. This could just be my perception, I don’t know. He also spanked me for a while, but the sensation felt good.

I was pleased to suck his cock as a bunch of guys watched. I thought about how hot it is that I’m his slut and that he can get me to do what he wants in front of all those guys. I thought about how it must be hot for him to be able to exhibit this control. As I sucked his cock he loosened the halter top I had on and he groped my ass. It had to have been clear to the audience that he could do pretty much anything he wanted to do with me.

I sucked and deep throated as much as possible, and I think I managed to control my gag reflex pretty well. Now if only I could control it when I have a gag in my mouth. (Gags often literally make me gag.) He had me take a break and we cuddled. I was happy to cuddle, I needed that as much as I needed the sex. But I was also hot for him as I stroked his chest.

He had me spread my legs and he slapped my pussy pretty hard. The guys around us made appreciative comments. Like my usual shy exhibitionist self I didn’t really look at them. He had me turn around so my head was near the end of the bed, and he fucked me from behind. He let a couple of guys touch me while he did this – groping my tits and such. He spanked my ass. He made me come hard and I squirted all over the sheets. The guys around us loved that. Some talked about wanting me to squirt on their faces.

We rested for a while but somehow ended up fooling around again in short order. He had me get between his legs as he sat higher than me on the pillows, facing the crowd. I had to get my body low on the bed to suck his cock and lick the flesh next to his balls. He told me a few times to get in there with my tongue, and again there was hotness over the fact that I was his submissive slut, burying her face in his crotch. I’m sure the guys around us, dominant types or no, were truly envious of him.

He fucked me a second time and I came screaming and squirting all over again. He tried to have me give a hand job to one of the guys nearby while he did this but I couldn’t hold myself up on one arm. (I suppose that’s one bonus when you have a young, fit sub – she or he can get into and hold positions I can’t. Oh well, this is real life and not porn.)

I was happily cuddling him when he had me lay on my back so one of the guys could touch me. The guy played with my pussy – not bad, not spectacular. Then he asked (somewhat pleadingly) if he could lick my pussy. MasterDoc let him and he did a good job. I came some more and hopefully the guy was all sorts of happy that I did manage to squirt a little bit with him. He fingered me at the same time, and I found myself wondering what he thought the menstrual cup I had inside me was. I ultimately realized he probably thought it was some form of birth control and I stopped worrying.

We had to ask him to stop as I was exhausted. I think MasterDoc felt somewhat victorious to exhaust me. We lay on the bed for a while resting before we got up and headed home. It was a fairly early night for us, but I had been quite well fucked in that time frame.

Wishes Fulfilled

Published on February 10, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, edge play, fantasy, kink, masochism, nipple clamps, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, stress, trust and wishing box. 0 Comments

I haven’t blogged in over a week, not content that I’ve generated at least. I’ve been dealing with a particularly rough bout of premenstrual symptoms and haven’t felt like writing. MasterDoc gave me a therapeutic beating last Wednesday that helped in the short term, but ultimately I was having enough internal issues that it didn’t last. Funnily enough, yesterday he and I both – separately – hypothesized that I may have PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder). Definitely something I will ask my gynecologist about next time. I have about a dozen of the symptoms.

Today the symptoms are starting to break, but even yesterday I was feeling anxious and irritable enough to be struggling with it. I didn’t sleep over MasterDoc’s due to the impending snow (and I am glad I went home last night!) but I did visit him for a few hours. We reconnected. He reassured me that yes, if I’m in emotional crisis like I had been last Friday night I did the right thing by getting in touch with him.

Since my mood was still unstable last night, MasterDoc declared I needed a beating and orgasms. And indeed they helped like they usually do. After he shook off the silly mood he was in, he had me lay down on the bed, face down and took the cane to my ass. The strikes focused my thoughts. I took the cane fairly well, but then he dribbled some melted wax on me. Yikes! It pooled slightly on my lower back and I kicked one leg up while trying to deal with the pain. The wax was particularly difficult to take last night. I seem to be out of practice. The caning continued and took me into subspace. I didn’t get wet like I often do but considering how not myself I felt that’s not entirely surprising. He used the little rubber flogger on me, the little ends gathering together to sting my ass.
He had me on hands and knees for some beating, and propped the magic wand against me but it kept slipping away from the perfect spot, so even though I had permission to come I couldn’t quite get there. I let MasterDoc know that it was sliding out of place, and he took over, pressing it against my clit, making me come. He took out a toy that we haven’t really used yet: snake bite suckers. The set comes with two larger ones and one thinner sucker that’s just right for the clitoris. Thankfully he only put the larger two on my nipples. As my tits hung down he commented on how they resembled udders. He flicked them with his fingers which hurt. He has decided he really likes them, and as I can wear them longer than nipple clamps he plans to have me walking around the swing club with them on. He had me kneel up, and he tormented my nipples some more.

He had me lay on my back to be fucked so he could continue to play with the nipple suckers. He tweaked them, fucked me, slapped my face. I went from zero to sixty in about two seconds. He told me I could come at will and I came, but then I came even harder as he gently but firmly applied pressure to my throat for the first time. Previously I had been afraid of even the hint of breathplay as I’m asthmatic (and have experienced not being able to breathe. Not really fun.) but I had put in my wishing box that I was curious to try a little bit with him, since I trust MasterDoc to know what he’s doing (and to know what to do in case of an emergency). He pressed a bit harder than I had expected, grabbing my collar close against my throat. For a second, I wasn’t sure if I was scared of this…. but then I came, harder than I had to this point. I was amazed by how hard I came.

I was very, very happy and calm after that.

He next had me suck his cock, and he worked in yet another wish from my wishing box: grabbing my head and choking me on his cock a few times. I find that I don’t gag as badly as I initially thought and I really like that he’s got his cock shoved down my throat and his hand firmly on my head as the thrusts his hips upward. His cock gets extra slick with my saliva which makes it even easier than usual to suck. He had me rub his wet cock over my face and I did as I was told. (Of course.)

His cock hard again, he debated fucking my ass or fucking my cunt again. He eventually opted for my cunt and got me on hands and knees. He said I had been a good girl and gave me the magic wand to use on myself. He started off slowly, teasing. He’d then fuck me harder for a moment. I kept the wand pressed against my clit but he told me not to come until I asked permission. He wanted me to take my time so he could fuck me as long as he liked. I was moaning like crazy, feeling amazing even though I was holding back from orgasm. I almost didn’t want it to end. I wish I had a recording of my moaning and babbling at that point. Out of nowhere, he told me to come. And I came as he fucked me some more. When his cock was pushed out he slapped my cunt to keep me coming and I sprayed come all over my hand, the throe, and the magic wand.

I was in a wondrous daze after that orgasm. It was hard to find somewhere to lay down since there was a big puddle, but I sat against the wall, legs splayed. Despite using the menstrual cup, there was a smudge of blood on my leg (and the come that came out of me was tinted pink due to some menstrual content.) My hands felt like they were buzzing, and it took me a moment to realize this was from holding the magic wand to my clit for a while. I felt positively amazing. If they could make that feeling into a pill form I think I’d become addicted. Oh yes.

After I cleaned up, we sat in the living room and he put on the basketball game. He had me grab pillows so I could sit on the floor at his feet – another thing I had requested in my wishing box. I happily played with my new smart phone while I sat on the floor between his legs. Occasionally I’d hug his thigh and kiss it. And other times he’d smack me playfully with his hard cock. It was an evening I sorely needed after the emotional upheaval of this month’s cycle.

Threesome Weekend

Published on January 31, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunt, exhibitionism, flogging, kink, masochism, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, poly, porn, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, swinging and threesome. 2 Comments

I think I’ve turned a new corner with polyamory. DeeDee is visiting MasterDoc and I spent some time with both of them this weekend, and I finally realize that being poly can include having a fabulous time with both your partner and one of their other partners. I’ve always been fond of DeeDee, but I was a bit possessive of time with MasterDoc. But this weekend, the three of us went to a club Friday night and hung out at MasterDoc’s on Saturday and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

We were supposed to go to a kink party that all of us were looking forward to, but the party host had to change the date in his struggle to find a good venue for the party. MasterDoc was having a bad day but I managed to convince him that we should go out anyway. He started the evening grumpy but in short order he was in a better mood. How could he not be with two lovely ladies eager to go out and fuck in public with him? He took us out to dinner at a pub near the swing club.I have a great time laughing with them both and it’s wonderful to hang out with people who you can be yourself with. I can be a kinky slut and it’s not considered a bad thing, not at all.

At the club, MasterDoc started the night with paddling me. I seem to be enjoying harder spankings these days. The only down side? A guy who was too aggressive and space invading. He’s an older man (in his 60′s or so) and he and his wife are often at the club. Now, if he were charming and kind I might just be persuaded to be interested in him despite the age difference. However, he is pushy. And when I climbed on the spanking bench he moved over to be right by where my head would be. Back the fuck off! I gave him such a nasty look. He moved after that. He kept making comments, and sitting too close, and humming incessantly to draw attention to himself. MasterDoc told him to leave at one point and the man didn’t. MasterDoc had to talk to him again when he was trying to talk to me while DeeDee got spanked. Had the guy touched me, he would have gotten a right telling off – even with my collar on. Fucker couldn’t take the hint that I was totally, and obviously, not interested.
But back to the spanking…. When I could block out the idiot, I enjoyed the hard long spanking MasterDoc gave me. He had DeeDee hold the vibe to my clit and I enjoyed the combination of spanking and vibe. (Although we need to give DeeDee a little more instruction on exactly where to put the vibe.)

After my spanking came DeeDee’s spanking. MasterDoc had her suck his cock while she lay over the spanking bench. I settled down on the bed and placed pillows between myself and the pushy guy sitting on the other end. I did my best to ignore him. I played with myself with a vibe while watching the spanking. MasterDoc told me to use a vibe on DeeDee, and I got up and placed my bullet vibe on her clit on high. When I tease women I tend to be a bit relentless rather than teasing. I place the vibe right on her clit so that the vibrations quickly take her to the edge of orgasm. She had to hold back until she got permission from MasterDoc and I was grinning ear to ear while I drove her crazy. She came and the crowd in the room got quite a show. Her cunt was quite wet and consequently so was my hand.

We packed up, and MasterDoc was delighted to find that the big bed in the next room was now available. DeeDee goes to get water for us all while I suck MasterDoc’s cock. I like having an audience while I do this, I hope that the men in the room are imagining that I’m blowing them. DeeDee takes a turn and I unbutton MasterDoc’s shirt so I can stroke his chest. I think to nibble on his neck a bit and he clearly enjoys getting his cock sucked while I do this. The men around us had to be green with envy. This guy (MasterDoc) has two attractive women tending to his every need and making him feel amazing.

Next he toys with both of us. He sucks on my nipples while DeeDee massages his ass from behind. It’s all so decadent and hot. He gets us using toys on our clits. DeeDee gets revved up quickly. I take a bit longer since the pushy guy is humming loudly and ruining my concentration. MasterDoc bends down and licks my clit for a moment, and I can focus better on my pleasure after that. From his perch kneeling at the end of the bed between us, he verbally teases us, asking if we’re ready to come. This teasing usually serves to make me hotter, faster. He looks us straight in the eye in turn. He tells us to come at the same time. I can only imagine how cool it must have been to watch us come simultaneously. I squirted quite a bit. MasterDoc reached over and fingered me to make me come more, and louder. He then did the same for DeeDee. It was pretty impressive.

We cuddled after. I lay in my little puddle of come. We thanked MasterDoc simultaneously for the orgasms.

I was hoping to get fucked, but we ended up hanging out mostly after this. We ran into some people we know, and I got to talking with the slutty bartender, the one who gave quite a show squirting last time we were there. Apparently, she was hitting on me. MasterDoc pointed out after that she was actually playing with her pussy while talking to me and clearly wanted me to touch her. Doh. I was, as usual, completely oblivious. It’s really a low-self-esteem problem: I don’t think someone who has what is a culturally accepted body (i.e., slim and toned) would be attracted to me. Yes, I realize I need to work on that. No wonder I end up fucking so few women.

We called it a night early, but the next day there was much fooling around at MasterDoc’s. He put porn on his new large screen tv and we marveled at how up close and personal it seemed when played on that tv. The porn was exceptionally hot for vanilla porn – the women seemed to really be enjoying themselves. Watching people fucking who are into it is way hotter than watching someone who’s just doing it for the money and waiting for it all to be over.

The porn got us all worked up and MasterDoc fucked me from behind for a while. It felt amazing but my damn knees gave out. Eventually the pain in my knees blocked out my ability to enjoy the fuck and I had to ask to stop. I didn’t come then. We all lay on the mat on the floor and DeeDee and I massaged MasterDoc. Usually, he makes the point that we’re lucky to have him, but yesterday he actually came out with, “I am a very lucky man.” It felt wonderful to hear him acknowledge that. I think we’re all lucky.

Hunger won out over horniness and so we ordered lunch. Things shifted away from sex and we ended up watching Fiddler on the Roof on tv. After the movie, I started to pack up my things to go home since Saturday night was a night for DeeDee and MasterDoc to be alone. As I started to get dressed, MasterDoc said he had planned to give me a sybian ride before I went home. Well now, that was certainly enough to get me to take my clothes off again.

I rode the sybian while MasterDoc worked the controls and I leaned forward onto him. DeeDee got some practice in with the little flogger while I rode. At first, she missed me and hit the machine but after some coaching from MasterDoc she gave me a nice flogging. When I came, she pressed up against me and my clit came in even better contact with the vibrating sybian. I had such an amazing, extended orgasm from the two of them working me over. I had to collapse on the floor after.

When I had recovered, I got dressed and headed out. As I walked into the cold evening, I playfully exaggerated in my head the notion that I’ve been turned out into the cold, cold night, all alone. Oh poor me! And I laughed to myself, because even though we’re conditioned to think that’s the way it is, I really didn’t feel like that. Sure I had wanted to stay where it was friendly and warm, but I also want to make MasterDoc happy, and giving him space to hang out with other women makes him happy. Also, I was looking forward to an evening alone. The only negative to the evening was the possible domestic violence scene I could hear playing out from the floor below me now and then. I felt really unsafe while that was going on, and bewildered, and not sure what to do. (Do you call the police on your landlord, the man who could then throw you out? Particularly when you’re alone for the night and he’s a gruff bully?)

But when it was quiet, I had a lovely time by myself. I watched Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, a long time favorite movie, and was just tickled at how cool Jane Russell is.

Überdom

Published on January 21, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting and submissive. 1 Comment

Lately, with DeeDee being MasterDoc’s submissive and Stacina being a playmate, I get to enjoy seeing him Dom other women. It’s a lot of fun even to watch. Last night, while I was in bed submitting to him (collar on) he was also he was teasingly trying to mindfuck Stacina a little via text message on his phone. He had come up with an activity for next week when we see her, and he was teasing her about it by not telling her what it is. Her curiosity was met with more teasing. It was hot to witness. (And hey, she was complicit in teasing me weeks back when she and MasterDoc talked online while I waited for his attention.)

He put his phone down for a while, and had me turn onto my stomach. He used the riding crop and the wooden paddle on my ass and thighs. I had cringed when he told me to get out the wooden paddle, as it’s harsher than the leather one. I was in a good mindset though, and I found the spanking to be highly erotic, as it gradually got more intense. The sensation wasn’t painful for much of it, but when it did get painful I was totally turned on by the idea that wow, this man has such power over me that I will let him hurt me. Sometimes impact play is about the sensation and endorphin rush that ensues, but other times it’s about the submission. It’s about doing something to give him pleasure. Only recently have I started to be able to believe that his yin to my yang is really possible, i.e., he derives pleasure from the pain he gives me just as I derive pleasure from receiving it. I’ve always understood masochism, but not being especially sadistic I had a harder time truly believing that nice people could gain pleasure from my (or others’) suffering. But somehow lately it’s clicked for me that it’s hot on both ends (and not just something nice the Dom does for the sub), and I find myself turned on even more knowing that I’m giving him pleasure by my submission and letting him do with me as he wishes.

I was smart and had plugged in the Hitachi magic wand beforehand, and he said, “You’re learning!” as he grabbed it to use on me. He teased my clit, moved the wand around my nether lips and had me writhing. I kept trying to get my clit against the vibrations and press it harder when it was there. He used the paddle on me some more, and then resumed teasing my clit. I thought to myself that it must be such a turn on to see a woman writhing and moaning desperately under your hands. At that moment I was so wanton and slutty that I wouldn’t hold back my cunt’s yearning one bit. He gave me more crop on my ass and the back of my thighs.

I kept moaning and writhing, straining to rub my clit against the vibrating wand. He held me on verge of coming. My mouth was slack and open and I just kept moaning and moaning.

He stopped short of letting me come. He had me turn over. He takes the wooden paddle to my tits and inner thighs. He slaps my pussy and then grabs the crop to use on me as well. He takes up the vibrator again and teases me some more. Then he lubes up the Ella dildo (review coming soon) and slides it into my pussy. He takes it out, puts more lube on, and asks if it’s well lubed. He fucks me with it slowly, then quickly. He moved the head of the dildo around my cunt. He pressed it into my g-spot – which was ultimately what pushed me over the edge. He told me to come, and I came super hard as he fucked me with it. He kept me coming and coming despite the fact that after a while I was gasping for air. I didn’t think I could come any more but he kept stimulating me and I kept coming. He relaxed for a brief moment, then placed the magic wand on clit. Immediately I came again intensely. I squirted a puddle under me. The orgasms were fucking amazing.

After I’ve recovered, he has me put on porn. I found some sex swing porn online and he had me get up on hands and knees to fuck me. As I was so aroused from earlier, the fucking was made up of more wonderfulness and hanging on the edge of orgasm. He fucks me a long time and finally I break down and ask permission to come. He made me beg for it, which was even hotter. “Please Sir, may I come? Oh please, please. I want to come Sir, please!” He must have been satisfied with my begging as he let me come, and again he kept forcing the orgasms out of me until I collapsed on the bed.

I was exhausted, and very, very happy.

Amazing Night

Published on January 12, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, exhibitionism, humiliation play, humor, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting and submissive. 1 Comment

Unusually, there were lots of couples at the club last night. We didn’t get to play with any of them, but it did lead to a night with more going on than usual. I think the couples may have even outnumbered the single men for once.

We always take some time to relax, walk around a bit, see who’s there and what’s going on. I try to wait patiently until MasterDoc is ready to take me into the room of his choosing to play. This time we were in the back bedroom. It’s a little more private than others, but of course being a swing club it’s not entirely private. And hey, if we wanted privacy we would have stayed home.

We played in there, and gradually drew a crowd. He was naked when I returned from the restroom and he had me put on my collar and suck his cock. I went at it with gusto and a few people came in to peek, one man even walked around to the other end of the bed to get a good luck at my cocksucking. MasterDoc was hard in no time and I kept working his cock over, sliding it into the depths of my mouth, deep throating it as much as possible. He had me rub his cock between my breasts and I used my hands to press my large, soft breasts together around his cock. I rubbed the head on my nipples. I sucked his rigid cock some more until he told me to stop.

He played with my body – nipples, breasts, pussy. He took my bullet vibe and used it against my clit. I yearned for him to push it against the right side of my clit, for some reason that side is more sensitive. When I masturbate I almost exclusively press it against the right side. But the teasing was delicious. I took over the vibe and pressed it hard against that sweet spot. He fingered me and made me come. Between the feel of his fingers inside me, massaging my g-spot hard, and the buzzy vibe on my clit I was lost in the orgasms I had. I was loud. Very loud. People came to see what was going on. I’m not sure if I was speaking in tongues or just muttering, “Fuck, fuck, fuck yes!” over and over.

He fucked me from behind after a short break and again an audience gathered. It seemed like I wasn’t quite getting into things – I was moaning and feeling good but not quite getting to the edge. (However I was really enjoying the fact that people were watching me.) But then he told me to come and I came, squirting a pond’s worth of liquid. I soaked nearly half the bed. I wish I had a camera with me because it was something to behold. He slapped my pussy and stroked it as I kept coming. I wanted his fingers inside me so badly, and he finally slid them in and toyed with my g-spot. The audience was wowed. I came loudly, hard and for a long time, with a soaking stream of come to show for it. I couldn’t help myself, I just laughed. I couldn’t stop giggling about the mess I had made. Cuddles weren’t possible since we each had to take a rest on opposite sides of the puddle. Luckily the club puts down waterproof lining under the sheets. Of course, I got a towel and cleaned up after myself, putting the wet sheets in the hamper.

While some might have been embarrassed, I was proud of my orgasm. I had such a grin on my face and I walked around standing straight and tall. I felt amazing. The orgasm was not only impressive from the outside, it was impressive for me to experience too.

We got dressed, got drinks and were waved over by a couple. Immediately after watching my orgasm, the guy had said that he wanted lessons from MasterDoc, and MasterDoc told him he gives lessons. The woman seemed keen on her man learning whatever it was that made me come so spectacularly. MasterDoc told him many of his tricks – key one being taking the time to observe and see what turns the woman you’re with on. Every woman is different but if you’re willing to sublimate your needs/desires for a couple of sessions, you will learn much and she will thank you for it!

After a rest he led me to the bdsm room in back. He had me pull my pants off and get on the spanking bench. My pain tolerance rather high and he spanked me hard. I was surprised at how much I could take, the first bit of spanking turned me on way more than it hurt. He kept at it, using his hands, using the slut paddle. It was a prolonged spanking and one I was happy to receive. MasterDoc would shine the flashlight on my red ass every now and then, and I delighted in the humiliation of it. By the time I got up (brain drenched in endorphins), there was a crowd and MasterDoc joked with them. He tried to convince people to try the paddle – male or female, he pointed out that being a top is not a gendered thing. There was some playing and I had to laugh at all the “big, strong” men who were too wussy to try what I had just had done for an extended period of time. My ass was sore, but I sat down while they joked and played around and someone pointed out that I was actually able to sit after that spanking! One woman actually got MasterDoc to let her give him a few swats (after much persuading). How odd! He didn’t react really. Meanwhile, endorphins were flowing through me and the soreness of my butt was negligible thanks to them.

I walked out of that club last night feeling like a million bucks. The sex was amazing. The spanking was amazing. I got in MasterDoc’s car grinning like an idiot. I felt like I was on some sort of drugs. I felt so happy that I’m someone who has embraced sexuality and not let society’s conventions stop me from having the time of my life.