Archive for the 'sadism' Category

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When His Pleasure Becomes Mine

Published on April 26, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, kink, masochism, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, shio, squirting and submissive. 0 Comments

I thought for sure the evening would be all about MasterDoc’s pleasure. In fact, he had told us that it was our jobs to entertain him. (To which I saucily stood on one foot, put my finger to my nose and pulled the other leg in and out to the side while singing that circus song. The one I can’t transliterate here. Hey, he wanted to be entertained! It resulted in a good laugh.) It started off with DeeDee and I on either side of him on the mat in the living room, while I demonstrated how to touch him around his thighs, butt, and genital area, to make him feel good. At first DeeDee thought she couldn’t learn it, but when she joined in she did just fine. Just pay attention to MasterDoc’s reactions and you soon learn what he likes. If anything, he’s taught me to be more observant of my partners to gauge what they are stimulated by.

He had DeeDee blow him. While she did this, he reached out to me and held me by my neck. Having him grip me in so delicate an area is a huge turn on for me these days. I wasn’t sure if he’d squeeze at all, but he does realize that it’s not breathplay per se that turns me on, it’s more the threat of it and a firm grip on my throat.

MasterDoc asked me if I wanted to get fucked. I stammered that I hadn’t thought tonight would be about me at all and so I didn’t put in the right menstrual cup for fucking. As I went to the bathroom to change cups, he had DeeDee assemble some toys.

Thankfully, she accidentally picked up Puppy’s choke chain rather than the clover clamps (which are joined by a similar chain). She did have another pair of clamps, however and MasterDoc demonstrated how to put them on, very slowly, watching the sub’s face the whole time. DeeDee did the other nipple and did just fine. The one MasterDoc had put on was a bit tighter. He tugged on the chain, watching my face while the pain affected me. He soon slid his hand between my pussy lips and massaged. I went off into that special place where all you’re aware of is the increasing arousal of your body. It felt like my pulse sped up. Little flashes of nerve impulses would distract me. I was lost in reverie. MasterDoc gave me the word, and my body convulsed involuntarily as it tends to do when he tells me to come. After the long orgasm, they commented on how beautiful I look while coming, which is a wonderful thing to tell a woman.

MasterDoc got back on track with the idea of fucking me. He had me get on hands and knees on the mat on the floor. He fucked me from behind and my top half ended up pushed into the mat. As I slid into subspace I found myself thinking the kind of thing I’d roll my eyes at if I read it on Fetlife or somewhere – I found myself thinking that I was so pleased and honored that I was the hole he chose to use when he wanted to fuck. Oh yes, I was deep into being sub. While it felt amazing to be fucked, in my mind my pleasure wasn’t the point. I certainly came when he told me to, and I fell forward off the mat onto the floor during orgasm, and I somehow thought it fitting for a sub to have her face pressed into the rug as she comes. But I was more hopeful that using me like that pleased him. I know, that’s the sort of thing that I roll my eyes at when others say it, but damn, subspace is another planet.

I squirted a whole lot as I came – on the mat thankfully.

MasterDoc sent me to bed after that. I had work the next morning, but I left he and DeeDee on the mat in the living room. Too bad neither of them blogs – you will never know what they got up to after I went to sleep.

Ass Fucked Slut

Published on April 25, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, depression, embarrassment, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting and wartenburg wheel. 0 Comments

The terrible mood swings went on up through last night. The “crimson tide” has come in so today I’m feeling much more stable. Except for the time when I got hypoglycemic. Oh well, there’s always something.

I got to spend some special alone time with MasterDoc last night. As we sat on the sofa, he started in on some sort of mind fuck. The problem is I can’t recall today what it was – some sort of threat of something that is scary but perhaps also erotic, or at least him making me do it is erotic in and of itself. I wish I could remember the specifics but all I remember ultimately is getting hot and melting into submissiveness just from his words.

He had me set up the bedroom for our interlude. As usual the Fascinator throe was put down on the bed. Lube, condoms, a butt toy and a vibe were made handy. I added the Wartenburg wheel. I brought his laptop in and set it up on the bed with some porn on it.

He told me to finish watching the tv show I had been watching, and when the last fifteen minutes were up I went into the bedroom. He told me to take the lube, reach back and lube up my ass. As I did this, hands working behind me, standing at the foot of the bed, he watched me and commented that it was hot thinking about exactly what I was doing. I felt embarrassment and looked down. When I was done, he sent me to wash my hands of the extra lube.

He had me get on hands and knees as soon as I returned, and he fucked my ass without any physical foreplay. It’s funny because sometimes I need a good warm up, but last night was so hot. I loved that he just shoved his cock inside my lubed up ass and fucked the hell out of me. The idea that I was his slut, his dirty whore who was enjoying him fucking me up the ass, turned me on so much. I’m pretty sure I muttered, “I love being your slut!” at one point. I was turned on by the idea of him using my body for his own pleasure. He fucked me long and hard. I was moaning and on the verge of orgasm for ages. Even though his cock was in my ass I could feel the sensations in my cunt. He ran the Wartenburg wheel over my ass and back, pressing the points into my ass. He grabbed my hips, and was generally rough with me. I held out as long as I could before begging for permission to come. He let me come and he continued to fuck me as I shuddered and screamed. (I feel bad for his neighbors. We really need to use gags more.) He wrung every last orgasm out of my body. His cock has been extra hard for extra long recently (I will perhaps someday explain why) and my clenching pelvic muscles aren’t such a formidable force against his cock these days. I do still push his cock out involuntarily sometimes, but it doesn’t happen as quickly or easily as before.

We took a break and I was exhausted from the phenomenal ass fucking. Unfortunately my hormones were still wreaking havoc on me and I hit a mood swing and started crying. Of course MasterDoc was a bit bewildered that after such great sex and orgasms I could feel depressed, but it was really just down to some sort of biochemical mood swing.

We rested for a bit and snacked on sorbet and fruit salad. My mood was back up again and I tried to eat slowly, savoring the feeling of the creamy sorbet on my tongue. At some point he said he needed to pee, but just a little bit, and he considered pissing in my mouth right there on the bed, and making me swallow it down. I cringed and curled up, putting my head down, hoping so hard that he was just fucking with me. This time he was.

I was hoping we’d fuck more, and it seemed a bit iffy at one point. Because of my moodiness I perceived that since DeeDee moved in with him he gives me much shorter and less involved scenes. We talked about it though, and it’s probably a bit of my mis-perception, and a bit of just the usual ebb and flow (that would have happened regardless of DeeDee living here). He says he’ll keep an eye on things in the future, but two weeks is a really short period of time to interpret things as changing long term. I do worry that with two women around so much now that getting as much sex from him might be difficult.

We cuddled a bit, and he had me suck his cock after I had had enough cuddles. I got really into it and he seemed just huge last night and very hard. He picked up the magic wand and held it to my clit while I sucked. I was soon humping the wand as best I could and he had me put a condom on him and get on top. I was so horny and turned on that I pushed through a little physical fatigue to ride him a good long time. He thrust up into me, making me sigh and gasp as he did. He grabbed parts of my body to enhance the experience – gentle nipple pinching, massaging my hip joints. He got me really worked up until I came, and came, and came. I squirted all over him, and unfortunately the throe had shifted through the evening and I squirted a bit on the bed as well. His cock stayed hard for a long time and I kept coming. As I came he slapped my ass at one point but damn, somehow it hurt too much and distracted me. I had to beg him to stop spanking me. My ass stung for a few moments afterward.

He made me come again and this time my vagina of steel pushed his cock out. By this time his balls were soaked in my come, and I was exhausted, but very, very happy.

Despite the mood swings I was still dealing with, we had a fantastic evening together.

Electrosex Part Two

Published on April 13, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, electrosex/tens unit, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, sadism, sex and sex toys. 2 Comments

After having such a good time with the Zeus Electrosex Box recently, MasterDoc ordered the torpedo attachment, which enables you to zap the inside of a vagina. (Or ass if you’re so inclined although the one we got is kinda big for that. Plus this toy is not really sterilizable, so don’t swap locations or partners with it.) MasterDoc started off with the electrodes again however, and he had me place them on either side of my clit myself – having me place painful things on myself is an idea he got from a porn we watched recently where the woman put clothespins on her tits before going to see her Dominants.

He toyed with the electric current, and without much stimulation at all, he told me to come and I did. That night I was to come a few more times with just the slightest bit of stimulation. He said to me that night, “You know we’re very close to making you come on command.” Indeed we are. He slapped my clit a bit with the electricity flowing through my clit and made me come again. The third time, he wasn’t really doing anything but he gave me a firm look right in the eyes and told me to come. My body spasms involuntarily when he tells me to come. I keep being amazed by how easily he can make me come on command these days.

MasterDoc has lamented getting old and someday not having his cock work, but I pointed out that the way things are going he won’t have to lift a finger to make me come and be satisfied. It’s amazing what a strong sex organ the brain is. Granted, this took over two and a half years of conditioning to reach, so don’t expect this sort of thing to happen overnight.

The fourth time I came, he fingered me and the stroking of my g-spot while being zapped through the clit was divine. Finally, it was time to use the torpedo attachment. He lubed it up well, although I was quite wet by this time. The torpedo is pretty rigid so it’s not the sort of thing to just shove in without lube or warm up. The feeling of the electricity from the torpedo insert was quite different than the feeling from the electrode attachments. It was like it stimulated and made my vaginal muscles contract rather than feeling like a zap. Orgasm from this was pretty damn easy.

As hot as all this was, and as satisfied as I was at having had five massive orgasms (or rather, sets of orgasms), we still hadn’t fucked and it had been a full week since we had. He had me get on top and I rode his cock fiercely. His cock has been dealing with my vagina of steel better lately (and perhaps I’m not contracting quite as hard during orgasm? I don’t know.) and it felt wonderful to have his big hard cock inside me as I came.
It was getting late, and I was getting tired, but MasterDoc hadn’t come yet. He chose some porn and I played with his ass as he stroked his cock. He said sometime recently that he needs to have me teach DeeDee what to do with his ass. I suppose that’s the advantage at being someone’s submissive longer – you’ve gotten things down that the other sub is just starting to learn. In this vein, I’ve started a wiki on taking care of/serving MasterDoc. DeeDee and I had discussed a butler’s book, but the wiki seems more practical and easy to organize. (And we all know how librarians like organized information!) It’s technically public (had to be to be free) so perhaps some day I’ll share the url. To this, MasterDoc said, “Yes, so they can see how easy it is to take care of me!” I could not suppress a smile. He can be quite particular about some things, but he’s right when he points out that he’s not a Dom who demands perfection – and that’s one of the many things that makes him the right Dom for me. He’s not heavy on protocol, he won’t punish me for stupid things or things out of my control, and he’s just so damn cuddly for a sadistic bastard.

Sex Via Powertools

Published on April 4, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, edge play, electrosex/tens unit, kink, masochism, masturbation, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, sadism, sex toys, submissive and sybian. 1 Comment

My vacation is off to a nice start.

Friday night we had a couple over – I had met the woman on fetlife and in a funny coincidence she’s my age and her Dom is the same age as MasterDoc. They brought a bunch of toys over and MasterDoc immediately pounced on their cases and had to see what was inside. They had some things we have (medium rubber flogger, clover clamps) and some stuff we didn’t – namely a pussy pump. MasterDoc was excited to try that out.

But first, we chatted. MasterDoc was really “on” that night (at least I think so) and he was chatty and funny. He has a lot of funny stories to tell from his life and for the most part I don’t get tired of hearing them.

Our guests were interested in the sybian, and when given the choice of the flat, small, medium or large attachments, our ladyfriend went for the large. Yikes. Too big for me, and therefore proof that I’m not truly a size queen. I offered to get lube but she said she didn’t need any. Man, I wish I could get that wet and aroused just from hanging out talking about sex toys. I need a little help and actual physical contact usually.

She had her ride, MasterDoc’s back was bothering him so her Dom was the guy she had to fall forward onto (and grab onto – riding the sybian makes you grasp blindly at whatever you can hold onto). However, MasterDoc sat on the sofa beside him and worked the controls. It was hot to watch as always. I think this is why I don’t get porn where the women look like they’re acting – it’s so fucking hot to watch a woman in the throes of passion. Just going, “Ooh, ooh yeah baby” isn’t enough to make me think you’re hot for it. Why would porn like that ever be enjoyable? But when a woman ceases to be aware of her surroundings and just gets lost in the sensations, well it’s a beautiful thing to watch.

She managed to get two rides (she must have more stamina than me), but for her second ride she used the flattop. You see, the large dildo was too much of a good thing and it made her bleed a little. (Hooray for silicone toys that can be properly cleaned and disinfected between partners.) She was cropped and caned during the rides, and for the second one she wore clover clamps. She is made of tougher stuff than I. I was keen to get a ride myself, but first MasterDoc wanted to try out the pump.

He put the nipple cylinders on my nipples and pumped them. It was painful having my nipples sucked hard into the tubes. Next he tried the large cup that goes over the pussy and gave it a few pumps. I didn’t love the feeling but I can see where drawing that much blood into your parts could lead to heightened sensitivity. Thirdly, he tried the clit cylinder and sucked my clit up into it, making it big. (But I scoffed at calling it big since it’s not anywhere near as huge as a transman’s clit.)

Anyway, I got my sybian ride complete with caning and we chatted a while longer. They headed out and it seems that they had a good time. (The Dom emailed us the next day to say so.)

________________________________

Last night was even more fun. With MasterDoc’s back being out, he had brainstormed things he could do to me that required only minor effort on his part. You see, creativity can keep your sex life going despite adversity. Fucking would throw him into severe pain so that was out. Any sort of impact play would require moving and working muscles in such a way that it could worsen his back pain. But he realized that we have a Zeus Electrosex box (available at Extreme Restraints) that my friend Coy Pink won and sent to me since she wasn’t interested in it. (It’s so good to have sex blogger friends!) We hadn’t really used it to this point, but MasterDoc experimented last night.

I was very nervous when he placed the electro pads on either side of my labia. As he upped the intensity on each pattern it would hurt for a moment, and then translate itself into pleasure. There were only one or two patterns out of seven that I really didn’t care for. I felt the shocks in the crooks of my hips. He placed the pads differently, working on getting the shock current running through my clit. On the second try the electricity arced just over my clit and ran through my pubic mound. I placed the pads next time, and this time it worked. It felt like someone was tapping on my clit as he ran current through it.

He toyed with different settings. At one point he had me find a setting I liked and once confirming that I like it he set the box on random. I was enjoying myself one second and then saying, “Hey, it  changed!” the next, which gave him a laugh.

I was surprised, although I don’t know why, at how easily my body can translate the pain of the electricity into pleasure. I contemplated my masochism, wondering if it’s getting deeper or if I’ve just simply started to allow myself to feel pleasure with these sensations that non-masochists would tell me aren’t pleasurable. I was leaning towards the latter. I don’t usually think of myself as sexually repressed, but I suppose in this society we all are to some extent. As I continue in a trusting D/s relationship I’m able to explore my darker fantasies and finally admit them not only to myself, but also to MasterDoc. When you have dark fantasies you need to be careful who you tell them to as they very often contain some risk – physical and/or emotional.

The level of electric shock that went into my body from this toy was just the right amount to get me aroused and lost in the sensation. MasterDoc got a little frustrated with me because he was looking for feedback since it’s a new toy, and at times I wasn’t able to express myself. It felt good enough that he could command me to come and I came from the sensation of the electricity running through my clit. I came two or three times this way. It’s hard to describe the sensation, it feels like your nerves are being stimulated directly under the skin rather than stimulated by sensations on your skin like most toys. Some of the electrical patterns were buzzy like vibrators, but again, it felt like it was vibrating inside my pubis rather than outside of it.

For the first time, I felt like my submission was realized in my orgasms. He kept the machine going and I just kept coming over and over and over again. I couldn’t stop. I was totally at his mercy. I had lost all control of myself to him and the toy. During one orgasm I had to beg him to stop because I couldn’t breathe.

And so, with very little movement and physical effort on his part, MasterDoc got me off and made me extremely happy. He had me suck his cock for a while after and I was enjoying it so much I pushed my endurance farther than usual. I love when his fingers entwine in my hair as I’m going down on him. Even if he doesn’t thrust his cock deep inside my throat the potential gets me hot.

After my mouth was fairly exhausted, he had me move up for a cuddle. He stroked his cock as I stroked his chest, and I found myself getting hornier and hornier because he was getting hornier and hornier. I pressed my naked body up against his and breathed shallowly against him, nuzzling his cheek. I reached down and massaged his groin until my hand was about ready to fall off. I didn’t mind really because it was so hot making him feel good.

When he was ready to come I watched his cock intently, wondering if I should just shove it in my mouth like I wanted to or if I should wait to find what he wanted me to do. I hesitated a bit, but probably indicated with my body language what I wanted to do. He told me to put it in my mouth as he came. I sucked his cock into my mouth – a little too hard and so backed off right away with the suction. His slick, come covered cock filled my mouth. I held the come in my mouth and he had me dribble it out onto the throe.

Very hot indeed.

_________________________

As I came up with the title for this post, I was reminded of MasterDoc’s recent comment. He says that there’s like an “arms race” between Doms these days – they keep buying bigger, fancier or more expensive toys and then show them off at parties.

“Do it to Julia!”

Published on March 27, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, attraction, bdsm, blow jobs, commitment, cunnilingus, dom, embarrassment, emotions, exhibitionism, happy, horny, humiliation play, kink, libido, masochism, masturbation, musings, non-monogamy, optimism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, poly, sadism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and trust. 1 Comment

I’ve spent plenty of time the last two months bitching about struggling through PMS. I’m happy to say this month is better, but even though it seems like all is well, I can tell that in a way my mood has gone a bit manic this time. I’m not bipolar, but I think even in regular depression sometimes your mood will swing the other way – just far less often than a person with bipolar might experience. I find myself giddy this month, googly-eyed lovey, eager to do things. I went for an hour long walk today. I never do that! So while the symptoms this month could be described as “positive” I think it’s just another side of the coin from the “negative” symptoms of the past few months. I’m out of balance emotionally like I am every month, it’s just that this month seems more positive.

Last night I had a wonderful night out with MasterDoc. My giddy, lovey mood made me really appreciate how happy I am with him. I really got into our dynamic and realized how fulfilling it is for me. It’s funny, because I constantly struggle with two different desires – there’s a part of me that’s independent and wants to make my own damn decisions but there’s another part of me that wants nothing more than for him to have control. These two parts sometimes conflict. A part of me says that I shouldn’t just let someone else control me like he does, but then I am so turned on and so happy when he does take control.

When we arrived at the swing club, he poured us some water since the bartender wasn’t around. I had said I was thirsty and I couldn’t wait until the water was poured. But, rather than hand it to me, he took a drink first. I wanted to say something as I was so thirsty, but the look he gave me said it all. “I want to make sure you remember your place,” he said to me. I went weak in the knees.

All last night, I found that being his slut was hotter than anything else. I realized that while we do sometimes like swinging with others, there are times like last night where the real kink being satisfied out at the swing club is that I’m his whore, and he gets to show off just what I will do for him. He gets to talk to me like I’m a dirty slut in front of everyone and I don’t object but instead am obviously turned on. I follow his command without hesitation or argument when he tells me to suck his cock, or take my clothes off, or come.

I have moments when I worry that some people are judging me for being such a whore. But then I get so turned on by it that I forget to feel embarrassed. While some might judge me, I think that most people find how I am to be phenomenally hot. The single men at the club are all eager to talk to us in the hopes of joining in. I’m not gorgeous, I’m fat and flabby, but I am a sex goddess there. And I am his. He gets to be the guy who has control over this nymph who wants to fuck and fuck and fuck. (And the reason I want to fuck and fuck and fuck is because I’m so fucking turned on by him.) We’re parts of a whole. It’s a dynamic. I give up control, he takes control and we’re both happy in those states.

Just when I thought I was tired from coming, I’d look into his eyes again and I’d start breathing shallowly and I’d ache for him to touch me and make me come. He can make me come without even touching any of the typical erogenous zones. For me, the hottest part of sex is the mind-fuck, the control. While the stimulation of my pussy is wonderful, the fact that he controls when I come makes the fucking amazingly more intense. I realized last night that being submissive and kinky really are integral parts of my personality. As my Dom, he fulfills me so much that I am willing to struggle with insecurity and jealousy because sharing him with others is still way better than not having him in my life. I think I’m also starting to grow more secure. I’ve been making a concerted effort to focus on the positive and I have started noticing things I’d ignore before in favor of dwelling on the negative. I noticed last night, truly noticed and internalized, how much he enjoys being with me. And I’m starting to see that his wanting to spend time with others doesn’t diminish that. Since I’ve grown so very fond of DeeDee, I can totally see why he wants to spend time with her. And that makes it easier to go busy myself with something else when they want time alone. (She does the same for me.)

Is this a breakthrough or just the hyper-happiness of PMS? I really hope it’s the former.

Unlike most entries I’m not really telling the story of what sex acts we did last night. It just doesn’t seem as interesting to me as capturing what goes on mentally. He made me suck his cock and he choked me on it in front of everyone. He fingered me to orgasm in front of an audience, he made me come by just stroking my legs, butt, hip and breasts. He made me come over and over, uncontrollably. I squirted a huge puddle a couple of times. He fucked me hard and spanked me with the hard wooden paddle. He let some random guy eat me out, and I didn’t so much come from his abilities (which were ok but not great) but I came from knowing I was doing it because I’m MasterDoc’s slut.  He made me come with my pants on just by grabbing my hair and talking dirty to me. I was so afraid I’d squirt in my pants!

I just kept thinking about how I’m really his whore and I will do nearly anything for him. That sort of power strikes me as scary at some moments, but I always come back to the key point that makes it not scary – he would never do anything to truly hurt me. He pushes my limits. He gets me to do things I thought I would never do, but he has never, not once done anything damaging to me. And even on the rare occasions where something didn’t quite work, he is fast to talk things over and make sense of what the issue was so he could avoid it in the future. Sometimes I think that it’s weird for a modern, feminist woman to be so deeply devoted to him, but I am.

The title of this entry came from MasterDoc, who of course got the line from George Orwell’s novel 1984. Near the end of the story, the main character (Winston) is locked up by the totalitarian government. They make him betray his love, Julia, by scaring him to death with something he fears the most (I want to say it was rats but I can’t recall). They make him break down and tell them that he wants them to do this horrible thing to Julia, not him. They make Winston betray her. MasterDoc has a knack for talking about something kinky and difficult and possibly painful, and he is good at making DeeDee and I encourage him to do it to the other, as long as he’s not doing it to us. He thinks this is hot. lol He really does like having power and control, doesn’t he?

Sensation Play

Published on March 25, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, best sex bloggers, edge play, gags, kink, masochism, needle play, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, sadism, sex toys, shio, squirting and wartenburg wheel. 0 Comments

Early in the day, via instant message, I put in a request for MasterDoc to please use the Wartenburg wheel and one or more of the gags I have to review if we fooled around that night. I’m welcome to put ideas out there, but I can’t expect that he will always go with them. Still, it’s nice to know I can speak up and say, “Hey, I’d really like to play with this toy.”

After dinner, he asked me what I felt more in the mood for – being beaten or sex. I replied that I was keen on something that’s bdsm play, but not necessarily impact play. He acknowledged my earlier request and when we headed to the bedroom he had me gather the items I asked for. Hooray! He also had me get the snake bite suckers, the magic wand, riding crop, needles and alcohol wipes.

He had me put in the ball gag, which stayed on for the entirety of the scene. I was happy to finally find a gag that doesn’t set off my gag reflex. (I used the smallest ball it came with.) As I lay on my back on the bed, he attached the snake bite suction cups to my nipples and clit. The kit comes with two larger cups and one thinner one that’s just right for the clit. I could really feel my clitoris sucked into the tube. It was a strangely arousing yet slightly uncomfortable feeling. He flicked the cups with his fingers and the crop. He ran the Wartenburg wheel over my body. I love how it feels over my skin, however it does certainly get the nerves responding. I flinch this way and that as he runs the spiky wheel over my flesh.

He had me sit up and he commented on how silly the snake bite suckers looked. He flicked them some more and took the crop to my inner thighs a little. He removed the suckers and had me lay down again, this time he ran the Wartenburg wheel over sensitive bits like my clit, labia and nipples. Ouch! It truly hurt at those moments, but he didn’t linger. He did run the wheel over those bits repeatedly.

He had me get on hands and knees, and he propped the magic wand against my clit. He warned me not to move or let the magic wand move. Then he gave me more wheel, this time running up and down my back which made me shiver. And running it across my asshole was painful! He tormented me as the magic wand did its thing. I reached back a couple of times to re-situate the wand, and he let me do this.

I was approaching orgasm when I felt him clean off my right ass cheek with an alcohol swab. I knew what was coming and the tension building – both the orgasmic tension and the nerves that come before being pierced – made my body super sensitive. He pierced my ass, slapped the needle once it was in my skin and I rode out the endorphin rush as the magic wand buzzed away at my clit. The mixture of pain and pleasure was delightful (says this masochist). He pierced me again, alongside the other needle (as near as I can tell). Again, more endorpins.

He told me to come and as I did I squirted a gallon. I could feel the fluid rush over the head of the magic wand and down my thighs. It must have drenched MasterDoc’s hand as he held the wand to my clit.

I was a little disappointed that I didn’t manage to drool around the gag, that would have been hot. But I do like the breathing holes it has. But I shouldn’t complain one bit here, the whole scene was hot and I came. Oh yes, I came.

You’re Putting a Needle Through Where?

Published on March 15, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, edge play, emotions, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, shio, slut, squirting and submissive. 2 Comments

If you were to meet MasterDoc socially, you’d find him to be a really nice, witty, flirty guy (at least if you’re female). So it would probably then surprise you when he goes into Dom-mode:  suddenly he becomes forceful, sadistic, and a world class mind-fucker. (And don’t I love it!) We were on the bed last night, getting ready to fool around and his demeanor changed into Dom-mode.

The back story that led to this: I noted that he had something stuck in his teeth, and I felt too squeamish to pick at it myself to help him clear it so he decided to point out that, “Maybe it’s time I spit in your mouth.” This shut me up but good and I did overcome my squeamishness to help him clear the debris. He went on for a while pontificating if he should spit in my mouth first, or piss in it first. If you’re not kinky, this probably appalls you. If you are kinky, it’s pretty damn hot isn’t it? I put my head down on the bed, cringing. I was afraid he would actually do one or both of those things last night. “Are you my piss slut?” he asked me. I was already sliding into subspace from his mind-fuckery and I gave the proper response, a hesitant “Yes, Sir.”

“Good, you’re already getting into the proper head space,” he said. He made me look at him and I could feel the blood throbbing in my veins. The idea of him forcing me to do things that are positively vile is strangely erotic. I hoped beyond hope that it was just a mind fuck and I lucked out – this time. I love the mind fuck more than I’d love the pissing in my mouth, I can tell you. But without the very real threat of him actually doing it, the mind fuck might not work as well.

He had me get my collar and a bunch of other items needed for our play time. Most notably, he had me get the needles and alcohol wipes. After arraying the lube, condoms, dildoes, etc. on the bed I lay down on my back as he opened the needle box.

“Have you ever thought about me piercing your outer labia?”

I cringed, afraid that this would hurt like hell. He pointed out that it’s the less-sensitive outer labia he was talking about, but then realized that it’s thicker than the inner labia, so perhaps it’s not less painful. He stroked my cunt a bit while he talked about this, and I grew more and more aroused and my breath sped up. The words coming out of his mouth were enough to drive me into a frenzy, and before we even got around to using any needles he was rubbing my clit and telling me to come. I came very hard, squirting. He had used only the slightest physical stimulation, but a huge amount of mental stimulation, to make me come.

“Wow,” was all I could say afterward. I thanked him for the delicious orgasm.

He got back on track with the needles, however, and swabbed down my labia with an alcohol wipe. Of course this burned a little bit, but not as bad as I might have thought it would. He pulled a fresh needle out of its case, and told me to contain my motion. I steeled myself to hold still and he pushed the needle through my right outer labia. Wow. That hurt. It took me a little while to slow my breathing, although this wasn’t entirely due to pain, but also due to arousal. He leaned up to kiss me and whisper naughty things and his t-shirt caught a little on the needle, causing more pain.

He licked my clit a little and while I was aroused he slid the needle out, which hurt just about as much as it going in. While I was still trying to process the pain, he licked my clit and diverted my attention into horniness. Before long I was coming again at his command. I had another mind-blowing, extended orgasm.

Fuck, I’m a lucky girl.

That would have been more than enough, but also I was up for more and I was so pleased when he decided we weren’t done. I stroked his chest, lusting after him. He got into position for me to ride his cock and I joyfully sucked his cock when it went down a little bit. I was so horny, so lustful and I couldn’t get enough of his cock in my mouth. I finally tore myself away to get on top and ride him. My left hip seized shortly after we started, but he massaged the area and it loosened up enough to let me get caught up in how great it felt having my clit rub against his body as I rode him like a mad woman. Seriously, I fucked like a slut in heat.

And he let me have another orgasm. Yes, he is good to me. I could never survive a Dom who demanded extended orgasm control.

His internet and cable were out due to the terrible storm we had in the area over the weekend, so we really had nothing else to do but fuck. And so I was lucky and he had me kneel at the edge of the bed and he fucked me standing up. It felt so good that I nearly didn’t mind that I wasn’t coming for an extended period of time. I’m not sure how long he fucked me, but damn it felt amazing and I have worried more and more lately that he will manage to force me to come without getting his permission first. When he gave the word, I came and squirted yet again.

All this was absolutely amazing and we were laying on the bed recovering while he decided if he wanted to come last night. I was not only happy to help him come, I was so turned on playing with his body. I massaged his ass and thighs. I paid attention when he told me I could touch his asshole more firmly. And then in a stroke of inspiration (which is sadly not often enough since I’m such a slut for being told what to do) I licked his balls. I continued licking his balls as he came and I pressed on his asshole with my fingers. I helped massage his perineum to extend the good feelings and made him twitch some more.

Cuddles followed and I felt so very good. He told me that I needed to make the orgasms last, as he gave me one for each day he won’t see me this week. Work stress got in the way of that today, but writing this blog entry takes me back to those good feelings. Is it any wonder I want to spend as much time as possible with this man?

In the midst of all this, as I cuddled up to him at one point, he whispered in my ear, “I am very, very happy with you.” My insecurity was lifted for a time, and I said, “Thank you, Sir.” I took a few moments to try to internalize what he said. I spend too much time focusing on negatives. I did my best for once to focus on the positive.

Rough Porn

Published on February 14, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, edge play, gags, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sadism, sex, sex toys, slut and submissive. 2 Comments

He asked if I wanted it long and slow, or short and fast. I said slow, hoping for a long evening of kink. He had that serious domly look in his eyes, the one that makes me oh so hot. He had me sit up so he could play with my tits. He’d look me right in the eye and then twist a nipple to watch the look on my face as it hurt. In the background we had rough sex porn running, and I was insanely wet already. I know it’s so wrong, and I know that extreme stuff can make people uncomfortable (because of its resemblance to some very bad things) but Jesus, watching a woman get her face fucked makes me so hot and so want to be in her place. I want to be roughly handled, gagged on his cock. I want to be a drooling mess.

He tried out the new dental gag I bought, it was really hot for the humiliation aspect of it, as i sat there with my mouth wide open. (It’s a Jennings dental gag, but without the strap like the one on this page.) It’s a shame I didn’t drool but I found my mouth growing dry instead. My tongue was exposed for him to see and it felt naked without teeth and lips to hide behind.

MasterDoc grabbed the magic wand, and he pressed it to my clit. My eyes would flicker, then close and I’d be lost in my ever increasing arousal. It flooded me, flooded my senses. I would come so close to coming and he would stop. And the fact that he was controlling my arousal and eventual orgasm made it even hotter. He teased me for a bit and I was lost in his intense eyes. Him being in control makes me so hot.

He had me remove the gag. Not only was my mouth dry but he was concerned that I’d break a tooth if I came with it in. We watched more porn, and I loved how the porn actress played the part of someone who’s surprised at the rough treatment she’s getting and oh dear how scared she is! I can get hot off of it if I can tell it’s play. I so desperately want to act out a scene like that with MasterDoc. I want to play scared, and let myself get into the role and feel scared. I want him to take me roughly, slap me about, push me down. I want him to piss on me. I want him to use my body in delicious and horrible ways. I was actually disappointed when he got up to go pee last night and didn’t decide to piss on me. I want to be passed around to various people for them to use my body.

He worked my Njoy plug into my ass and I stroked my wet clit and breathed heavy. I was so aroused. There was no hiding it. No hiding my sexuality. No hiding how much I wanted it.

He fucked me from behind with the stainless steel plug in my ass. I felt so full and having both holes filled like that was amazing. Oh god I wanted to come! Being fucked like that was so hot, I could feel him play with the plug in my ass. The only thing that could have improved that wonderful scenario is if another cock was available to go into my mouth at the same time.

In the porn, the actress is fucked up the ass by one man, while she’s being gagged on the cock of the other. Fuck. I want to experience that.

My knees gave out, so I had to crawl down onto the mat. After a breather and returning to my wits, I turned towards MasterDoc and played with his chest. I lusted after him so completely.

But alas, he wanted a snack. (And you can tell that this is a true story and not erotica, because the Dom doesn’t stop for a snack in the middle of an erotica piece.) I lay on the living room floor (we had been on the mat, you see) and watched the porn continue playing on the television. Seeing that woman being used and fucked and slapped around made me so hot. I’m sure MasterDoc could hear my moaning from the kitchen as I furiously stroked my clit. He came back in with some food and told me that I could make myself come if I wanted to.

So I focused on the porn and rubbed my slick clit until I came. To help me come, he held down my shoulder with his foot as best he could. The combination of hot porn, rapidly rubbed clit, being held down a little, and being under his foot led me to an explosive orgasm.

After all that expended energy, I needed a break, myself. A little later he decided that he wanted to come. I was slightly disappointed as I craved more fucking. But I played with his ass like he told me to and I grew more aroused knowing that he wanted to come in my mouth. When he was close to coming , I moved around to the front of him and placed my mouth right by the tip of his cock. I put his cock in my mouth as he came and then slid it further into my mouth to suck on the shaft. This kept him twitching with pleasure and it was so hot. I held his come in my mouth like he likes, and he told me to dribble it out onto the towel under me. I let it drool out and he was happy. I felt like a dirty slut and it felt so good.

I could have gone on all night fucking. I feel like something’s awakened in me that hasn’t been awake in years. I can’t remember going all night fucking for a very long time.

Überdom

Published on January 21, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting and submissive. 1 Comment

Lately, with DeeDee being MasterDoc’s submissive and Stacina being a playmate, I get to enjoy seeing him Dom other women. It’s a lot of fun even to watch. Last night, while I was in bed submitting to him  (collar on) he was also he was teasingly trying to mindfuck Stacina a little via text message on his phone. He had come up with an activity for next week when we see her, and he was teasing her about it by not telling her what it is. Her curiosity was met with more teasing. It was hot to witness. (And hey, she was complicit in teasing me weeks back when she and MasterDoc talked online while I waited for his attention.)

He put his phone down for a while, and had me turn onto my stomach. He used the riding crop and the wooden paddle on my ass and thighs. I had cringed when he told me to get out the wooden paddle, as it’s harsher than the leather one. I was in a good mindset though, and I found the spanking to be highly erotic, as it gradually got more intense. The sensation wasn’t painful for much of it, but when it did get painful I was totally turned on by the idea that wow, this man has such power over me that I will let him hurt me. Sometimes impact play is about the sensation and endorphin rush that ensues, but other times it’s about the submission. It’s about doing something to give him pleasure. Only recently have I started to be able to believe that his yin to my yang is really possible, i.e., he derives pleasure from the pain he gives me just as I derive pleasure from receiving it. I’ve always understood masochism, but not being especially sadistic I had a harder time truly believing that nice people could gain pleasure from my (or others’) suffering. But somehow lately it’s clicked for me that it’s hot on both ends (and not just something nice the Dom does for the sub), and I find myself turned on even more knowing that I’m giving him pleasure by my submission and letting him do with me as he wishes.

I was smart and had plugged in the Hitachi magic wand beforehand, and he said, “You’re learning!” as he grabbed it to use on me. He teased my clit, moved the wand around my nether lips and had me writhing. I kept trying to get my clit against the vibrations and press it harder when it was there. He used the paddle on me some more, and then resumed teasing my clit. I thought to myself that it must be such a turn on to see a woman writhing and moaning desperately under your hands. At that moment I was so wanton and slutty that I wouldn’t hold back my cunt’s yearning one bit. He gave me more crop on my ass and the back of my thighs.

I kept moaning and writhing, straining to rub my clit against the vibrating wand. He held me on verge of coming. My mouth was slack and open and I just kept moaning and moaning.

He stopped short of letting me come. He had me turn over. He takes the wooden paddle to my tits and inner thighs. He slaps my pussy and then grabs the crop to use on me as well. He takes up the vibrator again and teases me some more. Then he lubes up the Ella dildo (review coming soon) and slides it into my pussy. He takes it out, puts more lube on, and asks if it’s well lubed. He fucks me with it slowly, then quickly. He moved the head of the dildo around my cunt. He pressed it into my g-spot – which was ultimately what pushed me over the edge. He told me to come, and I came super hard as he fucked me with it. He kept me coming and coming despite the fact that after a while I was gasping for air. I didn’t think I could come any more but he kept stimulating me and I kept coming. He relaxed for a brief moment, then placed the magic wand on clit. Immediately I came again intensely. I squirted a puddle under me. The orgasms were fucking amazing.

After I’ve recovered, he has me put on porn. I found some sex swing porn online and he had me get up on hands and knees to fuck me. As I was so aroused from earlier, the fucking was made up of more wonderfulness and hanging on the edge of orgasm. He fucks me a long time and finally I break down and ask permission to come.  He made me beg for it, which was even hotter. “Please Sir, may I come? Oh please, please. I want to come Sir, please!” He must have been satisfied with my begging as he let me come, and again he kept forcing the orgasms out of me until I collapsed on the bed.

I was exhausted, and very, very happy.

Coitus Interruptus

Published on January 6, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bdsm, caning, cunt, masochism, orgasm on command, sadism, sex and sex toys. 0 Comments

DeeDee is visiting MasterDoc this week, but he set aside Tuesday night for me while she went out on her first Domme date – that is, she’s exploring her Domme side and meeting potential male submissives!

When I got to MasterDoc’s, Stacina was on the living room floor naked. This is just one thing in the long list of things that would be remarkable/weird in another household but it’s completely expected when you go to MasterDoc’s. He had a hot threesome with Stacina and DeeDee that day. Unfortunately I had to be at work during this. I get that feeling like a little kid wanting to stay up on New Year’s Eve – I don’t want to miss any of the fun. But life intervenes and one must earn a living….

MasterDoc had just dropped DeeDee off at the subway to go to her date, and Stacina was gathering her wits about her. She left soon after, but not before doing some clean up. Can you tell she was a service sub for a long time? She brought me a drink of water, unasked. I would like to be that thoughtful. I do it for MasterDoc but I’m not the best hostess. I need to work on that.

After she left, I did the mandatory time on the Wii Fit and showered. MasterDoc did the same and we heated up yummy leftovers for dinner. I wondered if he was going to still want to get freaky with me since he had such a sexual day – but I should know better than to worry about that. He suggested I take the laptop into the bedroom.  I knew this was the cue that we were going to fool around. I put the throe on the bed and the laptop too, and got out lube, condoms and my collar. Key item I forgot: I should have plugged in the magic wand! Luckily he let me do this after he reminded me.

We cuddled for a while, and I was really happy to have that alone time with him. I like playing with his “spot” – I think I’ve mentioned here that he has this delectable spot in the middle of his chest where the hair is just the right density and rubbing it is comforting. We joked about making a sex doll version of his chest for “post-orgasmic relaxation.”  I then came up with the idea to put “spot worship” as a fetish on fetlife. If you see that, you’ll know it was me.

He had me pick out some porn, and I continued with the public humiliation porn with “Nadia.” (No that’s not me, but she looks like she’s having fun.) He had me put my collar on and sit on the bed in front of him. He took the lightest cane to my breasts, flicking the nipples. The cane really needs to be striking you sideways to make an impact. On my left breast it was barely noticeable as he had the tip striking it. Next, I was up on hands and knees. My pain tolerance seemed pretty good last night, and he gave me a long caning using the light and medium canes. He tapped my upper back with it, he went lightly on my ass and then harder. I was in subspace pretty quickly, and so when he climbed on the bed next to me and grabbed by tits roughly from underneath, I was struck by how hot it is to endure pain for someone. It’s such a mark of devotion to let someone hurt you. (Of course, in some respects I like the pain.) I felt acutely aware of the pleasure of sadism for a change. I felt that his beating me could be arousing for him as well – usually I feel like it’s more of a service the Dom does for the masochistic sub. I liked believing he enjoys it too, for the first time. Funny how that doesn’t get into my head.

Laying on my back now, he played with my cunt, adding just a bit of lube. He teased the clitoris with his fingers and eventually worked his fingers into me. He stroked the g-spot – enough to make it feel wonderful but not enough to make me come.

“Do you like my fingers inside you?”

“Oh yes, Sir!”

He reclined and had me play with this inner thighs and his cock got quite hard. He had me up on hands and knees, condom on, ready to fuck me when… his phone rang. It was DeeDee so he answered it. She was home early and would it be ok if she came upstairs? He had told her we should be done by 10 pm and not to come home before then, it was around 9:30 when she called. Yes, rather than have her wait in the building lobby he told her to come up.

By that time, his cock had gone soft. He joked about how I have a reason to be annoyed with DeeDee, but soon enough his cock was at attention again. He starts to fuck me when… his phone rang. It was DeeDee again, she didn’t have the key to his apartment and was stuck outside until he went to open the door. He told her she had to wait this time, and proceeded to fuck me hard. I was concerned that maybe she was outside the door to the building, in the cold. So when it came time for me to come, I couldn’t quite get there. Not to be daunted, MasterDoc proceeded to finger my g-spot (yes, Virginia, it does exist) and even grabbed the magic wand. He made me come until every last orgasm was wrung from my body. I collapsed in a heap. He went and opened the door for DeeDee.

He came back for cuddles and I was quite happy. After cuddling was done to satisfaction he had DeeDee come in to tell us about her date. It went well, but ultimately that’s her story to tell if she wishes.