Archive for the 'sadism' Category

You’re Putting a Needle Through Where?

Published on March 15, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, edge play, emotions, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, shio, slut, squirting and submissive. 2 Comments

If you were to meet MasterDoc socially, you’d find him to be a really nice, witty, flirty guy (at least if you’re female). So it would probably then surprise you when he goes into Dom-mode: suddenly he becomes forceful, sadistic, and a world class mind-fucker. (And don’t I love it!) We were on the bed last night, getting ready to fool around and his demeanor changed into Dom-mode.

The back story that led to this: I noted that he had something stuck in his teeth, and I felt too squeamish to pick at it myself to help him clear it so he decided to point out that, “Maybe it’s time I spit in your mouth.” This shut me up but good and I did overcome my squeamishness to help him clear the debris. He went on for a while pontificating if he should spit in my mouth first, or piss in it first. If you’re not kinky, this probably appalls you. If you are kinky, it’s pretty damn hot isn’t it? I put my head down on the bed, cringing. I was afraid he would actually do one or both of those things last night. “Are you my piss slut?” he asked me. I was already sliding into subspace from his mind-fuckery and I gave the proper response, a hesitant “Yes, Sir.”

“Good, you’re already getting into the proper head space,” he said. He made me look at him and I could feel the blood throbbing in my veins. The idea of him forcing me to do things that are positively vile is strangely erotic. I hoped beyond hope that it was just a mind fuck and I lucked out – this time. I love the mind fuck more than I’d love the pissing in my mouth, I can tell you. But without the very real threat of him actually doing it, the mind fuck might not work as well.

He had me get my collar and a bunch of other items needed for our play time. Most notably, he had me get the needles and alcohol wipes. After arraying the lube, condoms, dildoes, etc. on the bed I lay down on my back as he opened the needle box.

“Have you ever thought about me piercing your outer labia?”

I cringed, afraid that this would hurt like hell. He pointed out that it’s the less-sensitive outer labia he was talking about, but then realized that it’s thicker than the inner labia, so perhaps it’s not less painful. He stroked my cunt a bit while he talked about this, and I grew more and more aroused and my breath sped up. The words coming out of his mouth were enough to drive me into a frenzy, and before we even got around to using any needles he was rubbing my clit and telling me to come. I came very hard, squirting. He had used only the slightest physical stimulation, but a huge amount of mental stimulation, to make me come.

“Wow,” was all I could say afterward. I thanked him for the delicious orgasm.

He got back on track with the needles, however, and swabbed down my labia with an alcohol wipe. Of course this burned a little bit, but not as bad as I might have thought it would. He pulled a fresh needle out of its case, and told me to contain my motion. I steeled myself to hold still and he pushed the needle through my right outer labia. Wow. That hurt. It took me a little while to slow my breathing, although this wasn’t entirely due to pain, but also due to arousal. He leaned up to kiss me and whisper naughty things and his t-shirt caught a little on the needle, causing more pain.

He licked my clit a little and while I was aroused he slid the needle out, which hurt just about as much as it going in. While I was still trying to process the pain, he licked my clit and diverted my attention into horniness. Before long I was coming again at his command. I had another mind-blowing, extended orgasm.

Fuck, I’m a lucky girl.

That would have been more than enough, but also I was up for more and I was so pleased when he decided we weren’t done. I stroked his chest, lusting after him. He got into position for me to ride his cock and I joyfully sucked his cock when it went down a little bit. I was so horny, so lustful and I couldn’t get enough of his cock in my mouth. I finally tore myself away to get on top and ride him. My left hip seized shortly after we started, but he massaged the area and it loosened up enough to let me get caught up in how great it felt having my clit rub against his body as I rode him like a mad woman. Seriously, I fucked like a slut in heat.

And he let me have another orgasm. Yes, he is good to me. I could never survive a Dom who demanded extended orgasm control.

His internet and cable were out due to the terrible storm we had in the area over the weekend, so we really had nothing else to do but fuck. And so I was lucky and he had me kneel at the edge of the bed and he fucked me standing up. It felt so good that I nearly didn’t mind that I wasn’t coming for an extended period of time. I’m not sure how long he fucked me, but damn it felt amazing and I have worried more and more lately that he will manage to force me to come without getting his permission first. When he gave the word, I came and squirted yet again.

All this was absolutely amazing and we were laying on the bed recovering while he decided if he wanted to come last night. I was not only happy to help him come, I was so turned on playing with his body. I massaged his ass and thighs. I paid attention when he told me I could touch his asshole more firmly. And then in a stroke of inspiration (which is sadly not often enough since I’m such a slut for being told what to do) I licked his balls. I continued licking his balls as he came and I pressed on his asshole with my fingers. I helped massage his perineum to extend the good feelings and made him twitch some more.

Cuddles followed and I felt so very good. He told me that I needed to make the orgasms last, as he gave me one for each day he won’t see me this week. Work stress got in the way of that today, but writing this blog entry takes me back to those good feelings. Is it any wonder I want to spend as much time as possible with this man?

In the midst of all this, as I cuddled up to him at one point, he whispered in my ear, “I am very, very happy with you.” My insecurity was lifted for a time, and I said, “Thank you, Sir.” I took a few moments to try to internalize what he said. I spend too much time focusing on negatives. I did my best for once to focus on the positive.

Rough Porn

Published on February 14, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, edge play, gags, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sadism, sex, sex toys, slut and submissive. 2 Comments

He asked if I wanted it long and slow, or short and fast. I said slow, hoping for a long evening of kink. He had that serious domly look in his eyes, the one that makes me oh so hot. He had me sit up so he could play with my tits. He’d look me right in the eye and then twist a nipple to watch the look on my face as it hurt. In the background we had rough sex porn running, and I was insanely wet already. I know it’s so wrong, and I know that extreme stuff can make people uncomfortable (because of its resemblance to some very bad things) but Jesus, watching a woman get her face fucked makes me so hot and so want to be in her place. I want to be roughly handled, gagged on his cock. I want to be a drooling mess.

He tried out the new dental gag I bought, it was really hot for the humiliation aspect of it, as i sat there with my mouth wide open. (It’s a Jennings dental gag, but without the strap like the one on this page.) It’s a shame I didn’t drool but I found my mouth growing dry instead. My tongue was exposed for him to see and it felt naked without teeth and lips to hide behind.

MasterDoc grabbed the magic wand, and he pressed it to my clit. My eyes would flicker, then close and I’d be lost in my ever increasing arousal. It flooded me, flooded my senses. I would come so close to coming and he would stop. And the fact that he was controlling my arousal and eventual orgasm made it even hotter. He teased me for a bit and I was lost in his intense eyes. Him being in control makes me so hot.

He had me remove the gag. Not only was my mouth dry but he was concerned that I’d break a tooth if I came with it in. We watched more porn, and I loved how the porn actress played the part of someone who’s surprised at the rough treatment she’s getting and oh dear how scared she is! I can get hot off of it if I can tell it’s play. I so desperately want to act out a scene like that with MasterDoc. I want to play scared, and let myself get into the role and feel scared. I want him to take me roughly, slap me about, push me down. I want him to piss on me. I want him to use my body in delicious and horrible ways. I was actually disappointed when he got up to go pee last night and didn’t decide to piss on me. I want to be passed around to various people for them to use my body.

He worked my Njoy plug into my ass and I stroked my wet clit and breathed heavy. I was so aroused. There was no hiding it. No hiding my sexuality. No hiding how much I wanted it.

He fucked me from behind with the stainless steel plug in my ass. I felt so full and having both holes filled like that was amazing. Oh god I wanted to come! Being fucked like that was so hot, I could feel him play with the plug in my ass. The only thing that could have improved that wonderful scenario is if another cock was available to go into my mouth at the same time.

In the porn, the actress is fucked up the ass by one man, while she’s being gagged on the cock of the other. Fuck. I want to experience that.

My knees gave out, so I had to crawl down onto the mat. After a breather and returning to my wits, I turned towards MasterDoc and played with his chest. I lusted after him so completely.

But alas, he wanted a snack. (And you can tell that this is a true story and not erotica, because the Dom doesn’t stop for a snack in the middle of an erotica piece.) I lay on the living room floor (we had been on the mat, you see) and watched the porn continue playing on the television. Seeing that woman being used and fucked and slapped around made me so hot. I’m sure MasterDoc could hear my moaning from the kitchen as I furiously stroked my clit. He came back in with some food and told me that I could make myself come if I wanted to.

So I focused on the porn and rubbed my slick clit until I came. To help me come, he held down my shoulder with his foot as best he could. The combination of hot porn, rapidly rubbed clit, being held down a little, and being under his foot led me to an explosive orgasm.

After all that expended energy, I needed a break, myself. A little later he decided that he wanted to come. I was slightly disappointed as I craved more fucking. But I played with his ass like he told me to and I grew more aroused knowing that he wanted to come in my mouth. When he was close to coming , I moved around to the front of him and placed my mouth right by the tip of his cock. I put his cock in my mouth as he came and then slid it further into my mouth to suck on the shaft. This kept him twitching with pleasure and it was so hot. I held his come in my mouth like he likes, and he told me to dribble it out onto the towel under me. I let it drool out and he was happy. I felt like a dirty slut and it felt so good.

I could have gone on all night fucking. I feel like something’s awakened in me that hasn’t been awake in years. I can’t remember going all night fucking for a very long time.

Überdom

Published on January 21, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting and submissive. 1 Comment

Lately, with DeeDee being MasterDoc’s submissive and Stacina being a playmate, I get to enjoy seeing him Dom other women. It’s a lot of fun even to watch. Last night, while I was in bed submitting to him (collar on) he was also he was teasingly trying to mindfuck Stacina a little via text message on his phone. He had come up with an activity for next week when we see her, and he was teasing her about it by not telling her what it is. Her curiosity was met with more teasing. It was hot to witness. (And hey, she was complicit in teasing me weeks back when she and MasterDoc talked online while I waited for his attention.)

He put his phone down for a while, and had me turn onto my stomach. He used the riding crop and the wooden paddle on my ass and thighs. I had cringed when he told me to get out the wooden paddle, as it’s harsher than the leather one. I was in a good mindset though, and I found the spanking to be highly erotic, as it gradually got more intense. The sensation wasn’t painful for much of it, but when it did get painful I was totally turned on by the idea that wow, this man has such power over me that I will let him hurt me. Sometimes impact play is about the sensation and endorphin rush that ensues, but other times it’s about the submission. It’s about doing something to give him pleasure. Only recently have I started to be able to believe that his yin to my yang is really possible, i.e., he derives pleasure from the pain he gives me just as I derive pleasure from receiving it. I’ve always understood masochism, but not being especially sadistic I had a harder time truly believing that nice people could gain pleasure from my (or others’) suffering. But somehow lately it’s clicked for me that it’s hot on both ends (and not just something nice the Dom does for the sub), and I find myself turned on even more knowing that I’m giving him pleasure by my submission and letting him do with me as he wishes.

I was smart and had plugged in the Hitachi magic wand beforehand, and he said, “You’re learning!” as he grabbed it to use on me. He teased my clit, moved the wand around my nether lips and had me writhing. I kept trying to get my clit against the vibrations and press it harder when it was there. He used the paddle on me some more, and then resumed teasing my clit. I thought to myself that it must be such a turn on to see a woman writhing and moaning desperately under your hands. At that moment I was so wanton and slutty that I wouldn’t hold back my cunt’s yearning one bit. He gave me more crop on my ass and the back of my thighs.

I kept moaning and writhing, straining to rub my clit against the vibrating wand. He held me on verge of coming. My mouth was slack and open and I just kept moaning and moaning.

He stopped short of letting me come. He had me turn over. He takes the wooden paddle to my tits and inner thighs. He slaps my pussy and then grabs the crop to use on me as well. He takes up the vibrator again and teases me some more. Then he lubes up the Ella dildo (review coming soon) and slides it into my pussy. He takes it out, puts more lube on, and asks if it’s well lubed. He fucks me with it slowly, then quickly. He moved the head of the dildo around my cunt. He pressed it into my g-spot – which was ultimately what pushed me over the edge. He told me to come, and I came super hard as he fucked me with it. He kept me coming and coming despite the fact that after a while I was gasping for air. I didn’t think I could come any more but he kept stimulating me and I kept coming. He relaxed for a brief moment, then placed the magic wand on clit. Immediately I came again intensely. I squirted a puddle under me. The orgasms were fucking amazing.

After I’ve recovered, he has me put on porn. I found some sex swing porn online and he had me get up on hands and knees to fuck me. As I was so aroused from earlier, the fucking was made up of more wonderfulness and hanging on the edge of orgasm. He fucks me a long time and finally I break down and ask permission to come. He made me beg for it, which was even hotter. “Please Sir, may I come? Oh please, please. I want to come Sir, please!” He must have been satisfied with my begging as he let me come, and again he kept forcing the orgasms out of me until I collapsed on the bed.

I was exhausted, and very, very happy.

Coitus Interruptus

Published on January 6, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bdsm, caning, cunt, masochism, orgasm on command, sadism, sex and sex toys. 0 Comments

DeeDee is visiting MasterDoc this week, but he set aside Tuesday night for me while she went out on her first Domme date – that is, she’s exploring her Domme side and meeting potential male submissives!

When I got to MasterDoc’s, Stacina was on the living room floor naked. This is just one thing in the long list of things that would be remarkable/weird in another household but it’s completely expected when you go to MasterDoc’s. He had a hot threesome with Stacina and DeeDee that day. Unfortunately I had to be at work during this. I get that feeling like a little kid wanting to stay up on New Year’s Eve – I don’t want to miss any of the fun. But life intervenes and one must earn a living….

MasterDoc had just dropped DeeDee off at the subway to go to her date, and Stacina was gathering her wits about her. She left soon after, but not before doing some clean up. Can you tell she was a service sub for a long time? She brought me a drink of water, unasked. I would like to be that thoughtful. I do it for MasterDoc but I’m not the best hostess. I need to work on that.

After she left, I did the mandatory time on the Wii Fit and showered. MasterDoc did the same and we heated up yummy leftovers for dinner. I wondered if he was going to still want to get freaky with me since he had such a sexual day – but I should know better than to worry about that. He suggested I take the laptop into the bedroom. I knew this was the cue that we were going to fool around. I put the throe on the bed and the laptop too, and got out lube, condoms and my collar. Key item I forgot: I should have plugged in the magic wand! Luckily he let me do this after he reminded me.

We cuddled for a while, and I was really happy to have that alone time with him. I like playing with his “spot” – I think I’ve mentioned here that he has this delectable spot in the middle of his chest where the hair is just the right density and rubbing it is comforting. We joked about making a sex doll version of his chest for “post-orgasmic relaxation.” I then came up with the idea to put “spot worship” as a fetish on fetlife. If you see that, you’ll know it was me.

He had me pick out some porn, and I continued with the public humiliation porn with “Nadia.” (No that’s not me, but she looks like she’s having fun.) He had me put my collar on and sit on the bed in front of him. He took the lightest cane to my breasts, flicking the nipples. The cane really needs to be striking you sideways to make an impact. On my left breast it was barely noticeable as he had the tip striking it. Next, I was up on hands and knees. My pain tolerance seemed pretty good last night, and he gave me a long caning using the light and medium canes. He tapped my upper back with it, he went lightly on my ass and then harder. I was in subspace pretty quickly, and so when he climbed on the bed next to me and grabbed by tits roughly from underneath, I was struck by how hot it is to endure pain for someone. It’s such a mark of devotion to let someone hurt you. (Of course, in some respects I like the pain.) I felt acutely aware of the pleasure of sadism for a change. I felt that his beating me could be arousing for him as well – usually I feel like it’s more of a service the Dom does for the masochistic sub. I liked believing he enjoys it too, for the first time. Funny how that doesn’t get into my head.

Laying on my back now, he played with my cunt, adding just a bit of lube. He teased the clitoris with his fingers and eventually worked his fingers into me. He stroked the g-spot – enough to make it feel wonderful but not enough to make me come.

“Do you like my fingers inside you?”

“Oh yes, Sir!”

He reclined and had me play with this inner thighs and his cock got quite hard. He had me up on hands and knees, condom on, ready to fuck me when… his phone rang. It was DeeDee so he answered it. She was home early and would it be ok if she came upstairs? He had told her we should be done by 10 pm and not to come home before then, it was around 9:30 when she called. Yes, rather than have her wait in the building lobby he told her to come up.

By that time, his cock had gone soft. He joked about how I have a reason to be annoyed with DeeDee, but soon enough his cock was at attention again. He starts to fuck me when… his phone rang. It was DeeDee again, she didn’t have the key to his apartment and was stuck outside until he went to open the door. He told her she had to wait this time, and proceeded to fuck me hard. I was concerned that maybe she was outside the door to the building, in the cold. So when it came time for me to come, I couldn’t quite get there. Not to be daunted, MasterDoc proceeded to finger my g-spot (yes, Virginia, it does exist) and even grabbed the magic wand. He made me come until every last orgasm was wrung from my body. I collapsed in a heap. He went and opened the door for DeeDee.

He came back for cuddles and I was quite happy. After cuddling was done to satisfaction he had DeeDee come in to tell us about her date. It went well, but ultimately that’s her story to tell if she wishes.

Needles and Ice

Published on January 4, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, kink, masochism, needle play, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys and spanking. 0 Comments

I hadn’t expected any nooky Sunday before I had to leave MasterDoc’s place. After all, I had had an incredibly fun weekend with him. But he had something else in mind. He started talking about needles and ice cubes.

The funny thing is the ice cubes scare me more. I don’t like being cold. A needle stick is very brief but if you get the chills you can be shivering for a while. He teased me by saying he’d put an ice cube in my pussy. Yipes! But strangely enough, I was turned on by him teasing me with something awful.

When my collar was on, he had me lay down on my stomach on the mat in the living room. He had just carried in an ice cube tray, so I knew he wasn’t just teasing about the ice. I could feel the coolness of alcohol wipes as he cleaned the skin on my ass. I waited for a needle stick, but instead he dragged an ice cube over both cheeks. Eep! It wasn’t as awful as I had anticipated. Later he said that hey, wasn’t he nice to numb my butt with ice before the needles? He was being a little facetious there as my butt was not numbed from the gentle trail of ice. He grabbed one cheek in his hand and I knew that the needle was coming next. I yelped a little, and kicked up my opposite leg as I tried not to flinch as he stuck me with the needle.

This was followed by some hard spanks on my opposite cheek. He was going to do needles on both sides, he later said, but he decided to keep one cheek free for spanking. Again he grabbed my butt firmly and slid a needle in.

He next teased my clit with the bullet vibe. I was really aroused by the combination of sensations. He slid the bullet inside me and left it there. He asked if I could feel it and while I could it didn’t do much to stimulate me. It’s just not intense enough. He spanked me some more and flicked the needles in my ass with his fingers to make them smart.

He sat down on the chair near my head and told me to crawl over there and suck his cock. I did and while I sucked he told me to use my hands. I shifted my weight so I could hold myself up better and use my hands to gently manipulate the inside of this thighs and around his genitals. Meanwhile, I kept sucking, inspired by his telling me that if I got his cock hard that he’d fuck me with it. I felt so delightfully slutty kneeling there, needles in one ass cheek, sucking his cock deep into my mouth. He grabbed my head a bit, which never fails to turn me on.

He fucked me from behind and allowed me to use the bullet on my clit. Between the buzzing on my sensitive clit and his big cock plunging inside me, I was incredibly aroused. He’d flick the needles every so often, and it was so strangely hot. I’d moan more when he did this. He’s been fucking me quite hard lately and it drives me crazy. At some point he pulled the needles out of my skin but I barely noticed.

He tells me to come and I do, muscles pushing his cock out. I want nothing more than for him to continue the amazing feelings with his hands, and he fingers me, prodding my g-spot making me come over and over. I start to sag towards the floor from being on my knees as I’m overcome with the waves of coming.

I collapsed in a heap after, and was grinning like crazy. I don’t think I have adequate words to capture just how hot this fuck was. I was thankful when he admitted afterward that he was going to push an ice cube into my asshole as he was fucking me, but he couldn’t reach the ice tray. Phew.

Day of Debauchery

Published on December 19, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, analingus, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, exhibitionism, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, show, spanking, submissive, sybian and threesome. 0 Comments

Friday was quite a full day of pervyness with MasterDoc. Early in the afternoon, he had a lady who’s a switch come over with the intention of her helping top me. But somehow he found out that she also has a swing profile and he proceeded to look up the profile and read it out loud to her. He teased her mercilessly as it’s quite a slutty profile. (Yeah, like either of us have an issue with sluts. They’re our favorite people!) She turned red and we all laughed so hard. When he got to the point about how she can come from just neck/ear nibbling or nipple stimulation he said, “Oh yeah?” and proceeded to play with her neck. The laughing stopped around then, and she was immediately in a horny reverie, head tipping back, mouth open. He took out one breast and I took out the other, and the two of us made her come from just sucking on her nipples. It was loads of fun. He teased her sadistically some more, and somehow none of us ever ended up naked. But we had the best time laughing and teasing. I’m hoping we get to see her again soon. (And while I was perfectly happy with how the visit turned out, I do look forward to being topped by two people at once someday!)

Later in the afternoon, an Irish guy who had watched a show before came over to see us again. MasterDoc put me over the Liberator scoop, used the wrist and thigh cuffs to attach me to the scoop, and spanked my ass. It felt more sting-y than usual yesterday and the canes smarted something awful. He alternated with the riding crop as well which was easier to handle. His wooden paddle was almost unbearable. He helped me deal with the pain by putting the magic wand up against my cunt while he spanked me some more. I did my best to grind my clit against the wand, but it was always just slightly off to the side of the ideal spot. But I got so hot, and so far into subspace, from that beating/teasing combo. He let me lay over the scoop for a few minutes after so I could come down a bit.

He took off the wrist cuffs and I felt floaty when I got up. I knelt before him, he was seated on the couch, and sucked MasterDoc’s cock. He did a little face fucking again, which produced lots of drool. It’s not easy being gagged like that but I do think it’s terribly hot. The river of drool that comes out as my mouth is pulled off is really sexy in a nasty sort of way. Earlier, he had told me I’m a dirty slut and made me admit that I wanted to be used in front of our guest. The low growl to his voice as he makes me look him in the eye and say these things get me so hot. I feel embarrassed but oh so turned on.

He had me warm up on the floor mat with the magic wand. I couldn’t look our guest in the eye too often but I did get myself very close to orgasm quickly. MasterDoc fucked me from behind for a bit and the feel of his cock inside me while I pressed the magic wand to my clit would have easily been enough to send me (way) over the edge. But I wasn’t given permission to come just yet. I had to pull the wand away from my clit a bit to ensure I didn’t come accidentally. But it felt so good and I wanted to come so badly.

Our guest had told MasterDoc beforehand that he wanted to see me fucked up the ass, and so MasterDoc pulled his cock out and lubed up my ass and my slender, red glitter dildo. He slid the dildo into my ass to warm me up and it felt great as he fucked me with it. I think I’m still a little surprised at how aroused I can get from anal stimulation. This didn’t last long, and MasterDoc put his hard cock against my hole. For a moment it felt like it wasn’t going to go in, but then it pushed past my sphincter. Holy shit did it feel good to feel his large cock in my ass. He fucked me hard while our guest watched and I moaned like a bitch in heat. MasterDoc talked dirty to me, telling me I’m a good little three hole slut and other equally hot, nasty things. He knows that telling me I’m a slut, whore, fucktoy, etc. will get me off even harder.

When he told me to come, I came so very hard. I screamed, my head slid forward off the mat. He kept fucking my ass and I must have gotten absolutely flooded with wetness. He took his cock out and fingered me a bit, making me come more. I had to lay down to rest for a while after. I was in a wonderful state of subspace.

He topped off the show with a sybian ride, but first I had to earn it by licking his ass. He had me rub his ass a bit and as I looked at it I was filled with dread. I know analingus doesn’t bother some people but it’s not one of my favorite things. I did as I was told, however, and humiliatingly ate out his ass while our guest watched. Quite a bit of humiliation play let me tell you.

On the sybian, he teased me for a bit and then I came shrieking and screaming, burying my head into his chest. I think he and our guest were quite amused at watching me lose all control like that. He had our guest spank me while I rode the sybian and I loved being spanked during it. The whole experience was exceptional. If every time could be so intense, nasty and hot, I would just live in perpetual heaven. (Not that I don’t already come close, mind you.)

Later that night our friend came over and I got to use my strap on harness on her. But you will have to go to the review to get an account of that.

Oh and a little tidbit – the needles MasterDoc ordered for needleplay came in!

Pee-Shy

Published on November 30, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, caning, dom, edge play, embarrassment, emotions, exhibitionism, flogging, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, show, spanking, squirting, submissive and sybian. 3 Comments

I was feeling extra shy and anxious about the show MasterDoc had planned this morning. I knew that the guy coming liked to watch women pee; he had watched DeeDee on one of her recent visits. I am super pee-shy. I get anxiety just from trying to pee in a crowded public restroom – and that’s from within a stall where I’m by myself. MasterDoc joked with me today that he wondered what my mother managed to do to me when being potty trained that I should have such anxiety issues. Max Lagos asked me on twitter why I was pee-shy. I know intellectually that we all pee, it’s no big deal, it’s merely releasing waste liquid from your body. But somehow at a deep subconscious level I feel anxious about it. It’s embarrassing. It’s something that’s supposed to be totally private. I hated hearing about DeeDee’s experience. Just hearing about it was painful.

MasterDoc reassured me that it’s not a big deal if I couldn’t manage to do it. He tried to allay my anxiety but I still thought to myself, “I need drugs! Now! Tranquilizers! Alcohol!”

When our guest showed up he asked me how the library business was. I figured MasterDoc had mentioned what I do, or the blog or something, but our guest told me that he had seen me before a while ago. It must’ve been one of the shows earlier on in my relationship with MasterDoc. I did panic for a few moments wondering if I knew him from where I work. I think I just eventually got to the point, as I was sucking MasterDoc’s cock, that I was in for a penny, in for a pound and should just go with it. Whoever this guy is he already knew I’m a submissive slut.

MasterDoc had me go back to suck his cock for a while. I had been in the middle of doing that when our guest buzzed the door. I did lots of deep throating when I went back to sucking him, and focused totally on the blow job. He had me take his cock out of my mouth for a moment and look up at him while he stroked my cheek with his cock. He had me take the head just a little bit into my mouth, still looking at him. Eye contact with MasterDoc is hot for me, but eye contact with others is really difficult.

MasterDoc bent me over the scoop on the floor. He asked if I wanted to be bound with the wrist and thigh cuffs and I said yes. Even though the position might have potentially been uncomfortable I was keen enough to try it because I’ve craved bondage. He beat me with two of the canes, the two floggers. I focused on breathing in order to deal with the pain. He told me to look at our guest, and I could barely fix my eyes on him for more than a split second. I kept closing my eyes and looking down. Eye contact is harder for me than many other things. Pee on me. Make me lick your ass. But please don’t make me make eye contact with someone I don’t know. With my anxiety level already high, it was exceptionally hard.

Apparently the flogger left a nice pattern on my upper back and the canes left a nice pattern on my butt. Unfortunately there was no camera handy. MasterDoc dipped his fingers into my cunt to see if I was wet, and I was so wet you could hear the squishing. He caned me some more and then released me from the bonds. I kept laying face down over the scoop because I didn’t want to see our guest.

MasterDoc had me sit face up with legs spread, but he let me wear a blindfold. I used my bullet vibe on my clit, and as usual I felt turned on knowing there was an audience but not being able to see said audience. MasterDoc had me turn back over. He lubed up my ass with his finger in case he decided to fuck my ass. I rubbed the vibe against clit and moaned as he fingered my ass. He backed off a bit and said, “Show me how much you want it. Show me how much you want my cock.”

I was writhing and humping the vibe. He had me get up on my knees to get fucked from behind. After some thought as to which hole he’d take, he fucked my cunt. The blindfold allowed me to relax and focus on what was going on. When he let me come I squirt a huge puddle all over pillow and rug. (Next time I will hopefully remember the throe.) He kept me coming a good long time and I squirted more than once.

After a rest, MasterDoc decided to put me on the sybian since I had been a good girl this weekend. But I first tried to nonchalantly ask if I could go use the bathroom. MasterDoc picked up on my attempt at passing it by him and right away asked me, “What for?” When I said I had to pee I covered my face with my hands and felt embarrassed. But there was no letting me off. The two men followed me into bathroom. I was instructed to sit on the toilet leaning back, with my legs spread. I tried to pee, really I did. MasterDoc asked me if I’d prefer looking at him or eyes closed. Definitely eyes closed! Our guest ran the water faucet in the sink. That didn’t help. I couldn’t help but laugh when MasterDoc added in the bathtub faucet. I struggled with trying to relax my sphincter. I shifted my weight around, put my hands up to my face; I was really fidgety. They eventually left me alone but I’m wasn’t supposed to go without letting them know. I still couldn’t pee. Several more minutes passed, and MasterDoc came in to tell me that our guest had said to let me off the hook about peeing, and get me on the sybian. MasterDoc let me pee without an audience but with my anxiety level so high I still had some trouble. Eventually, I managed to get a little out and I rejoined them in the living room.

We got me situated on the sybian. MasterDoc told me that as I’m working up to coming I can look down or at him, but when I’m ready to come I have to look at our guest as I ask permission until MasterDoc gives me permission to come. I find that even with sybian cranked up I can’t overcome my anxiety over making eye contact. It’s clear to MasterDoc that I’m overwhelmed by anxiety when I don’t come or even seem all that close to coming. He finally gives me permission to just come, and even then it takes several seconds before I can truly orgasm. I bury my head in his chest and hump the sybian as I come.

Our guest leaves after this, telling me he likes my smile as he says goodbye. I’m so embarrassed I can barely look him in the eye. I curl up on the sofa with the throe over me while MasterDoc walks him to the door. I’m feeling a little like I’m in shock, or having a touch of PTSD. I think it’s just that extreme anxiety will cause me to get a little triggered. After some talking with MasterDoc about the experience and how I felt, I calmed down and the bad feelings went away. I wonder if it would have helped to have me pee in front of MasterDoc before trying a stranger. I can pee in the same room as Davey or MasterDoc, but I have only once in my life had someone actually watch me pee. (And that was totally not erotic to me and I had a hard time then too. It was about 10 years ago with the guy who was my boyfriend at the time.) It made it even harder knowing that they (MasterDoc and guest) would enjoy seeing my embarrassment and struggle with this task. MasterDoc was not at all upset with me for not being able to do it, but the experience was stressful on the whole. Luckily, we went out for tea (sandwiches, scones and a large selection of teas to choose from) after and this very urbane meal helped me feel more centered and relaxed.

MasterDoc asked me if the experience was at least hot, and I had to admit that I was too anxious to feel turned on. The caning turned me on. Using the bullet vibe on myself turned me on, but any eye contact or pee attempts freaked me the hell out. I was feeling a little bit hot about the idea before our guest arrived. But with someone there I don’t know, I was overly anxious.

Friday

Published on November 29, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, bisexuality, dom, embarrassment, exhibitionism, flogging, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex parties, sex toys, squirting, submissive and wax play. 2 Comments

We had quite a busy evening Friday night. MasterDoc booked a couple to come over for show before we were to head out to a party. I’m not used to doing shows in front of couples, or women. Both parties in the couple are Dom inclined. They were nice people and nice looking people. We got to chat a bit and then got on with the show.

MasterDoc had me take my pants off and spread my legs in the recliner. On some levels I have no trouble being bottomless in front of other like-minded individuals. But spreading my legs and being the only slut in a state of obvious arousal can be humiliating. But as we know, a little humiliation is hot to me. MasterDoc used the Acuvibe on me. I closed my eyes as it was easy to deal with the little embarrassment that way. It also helped me to focus on feeling good. He had me hold the vibe to my clit, and he came over with a flogger to my thighs. My pain tolerance is a strange thing, fairly tied to my level of arousal. While sometimes I yell out because something he does hurts, other times it makes me so totally hot. Friday night was the latter.

Warmed up a little, he had me lay over the Liberstor Scoop (rounded side). He used his hands on me (which can sometimes be more vicious than an implement. The man has large hands.) and the flogger, maybe the cane too? I was totally into the sensation of being beaten that night. He reached between my legs and ran the vibe over my cunt. Then, he grabbed a candle and lit it, but the surprise factor was ruined when someone in the couple piped up, “Hot wax!” He dripped it over my ass and thighs. I’m glad he’s gotten into wax play again lately. I had missed it. He had me turn over and he ordered me to sit with legs spread. I instinctively put my hands behind my head. He tortured me with hot wax on my thighs, even pushing my thighs open wider with his foot to reach that ultra-sensitive spot. MasterDoc used the Acuvibe on me to make me come. Some embarrassment led me to not come quite as hard as I usually do, but mental focus helped me psych myself up into coming as hard as was possible. I squirted a little bit and certainly did come. (I make a point of not faking orgasms. However, I will psych myself up more into something if my physical responses aren’t up to par on a given day.) I think a lesser orgasm for me is probably still much more intense than a regular orgasm for some women.

After working me over for a bit (time was limited), MasterDoc gave the woman in the couple a sybian ride. She’s quite cute, and fond of dominating women, so I hope we will see her (and her gentleman) again.

The sybian saw a lot of action Friday night.

We went to a new play party – or new to us anyway. The host of the party had friended us on Fetlife. Play parties always being an expense to consider, MasterDoc had me write to the host and offer to bring his sybian in exchange for the two of us being comped. (Please, don’t assume a doctor makes an obscene amount of money, it’s not always true.) And luckily that was perfectly cool with the host.

When we arrived at the party, we set the sybian up. I got to chat with a really nice young queer guy who was dying of curiosity to try the sybian. MasterDoc assured him that he had tried it himself (despite being terminally straight, he loves anal stimulation) but I think the guy doubted MasterDoc’s hetero point of view. The party had a nice variety of people there. The host is black, and the proportion of black people there was much higher than most kink events I’ve been to. In general, most people were pretty nice and friendly. It was a great atmosphere. The only bit of diversity that seemed missing were obvious lesbians. Most women seemed to be bi, but unlike the clearly queer guys there didn’t seem to be any clearly queer women.

I got a second chance to try the violet wand. I like it and wish we could afford one (those things are expensive!) But it was a pretty casual thing while we were standing around and the owner of the wand happened to plug it in near us and start using it on (willing) people.

The space had three rooms and a common area, we never made it into the dance room. I prefer being able to talk to the people around me, unless I’ve specifically gone out to dance. In the quietest room, a fem Dom who had been talking to us earlier came in and reached out to caress both me and MasterDoc as we sat side by side on a table. She had some toys that we haven’t used: a braided flogger and a dragon’s tail. To quote John Mellencamp, it “hurts so good.” As I stood with my pants down and head on the table, MasterDoc came up next to me and talked me through breathing slowly and controlling my breathing to control my response to the pain. It hurt, but with appropriate breathing I could manage. MasterDoc took a turn with the braided flogger – owie. It requires a different technique than he’s used to with a regular flogger so it hurt more when he did it. He used the magic wand on me as our new friend flogged me.

My ass was nice and red and sore after. The room we were in had mirrors so I got a good look. Next came the sybian ride. As usual, I was the first one at the party since other women were tentative about trying this machine out. I had my usual screaming orgasm – it went something like this: “Oh god, oh god, oh fuck, oh fuck, *scream* oh fuck, fuck, fuck, oh yes, oh god.” (Lather, rinse, repeat.) It felt like the orgasms were wrenched out of me. (I wonder if my uncoordinated grasping at MasterDoc during this is what led to the loss my new bracelet. I really have no idea when during the night I lost it.) After, a guy who had witnessed it told me, “Please, don’t hold back. You should let us know how you feel!” I was fucking loud.

Besides me, and the lady earlier in the evening, six ladies enjoyed a ride on the sybian. The first lady, begged for a second ride and MasterDoc gave it to her. She would have gone for round three if she was permitted. She convinced her sister sub to take a ride, and she (a lovely, tall, curvy, African-American lady with glasses and pigtails) looked like a woman possessed as she came. Their Dom handcuffed the first lady for her ride (I think that’s hot!). Every woman was a satisfied customer. One told her boyfriend “fuck you” as she came uncontrollably on the sybian. Funny thing is she’s the one lady to find MasterDoc on fetlife and thank him for the ride. One guy worried about how he’d measure up to the machine, but I assured him that despite my love for the sybian, I still want MasterDoc’s cock on a regular basis.

The only drawbacks to the party was that there was no where to fuck (it was a space rented from a theatre company), the music was really loud, the space quite crowded and you couldn’t bring beverages into the rooms where you played. But it was one hell of a fun night!

On the way home, I was desperate for a pee. As we walked through the cold to his building, MasterDoc teased me a little. We got inside, and he went to the elevator – and merely rested his hand by the button! Argh! Then as we waited for the elevator he came up behind me, reached around and pressed my tummy by the bladder. Evil, evil man! In the apartment, he stood between me and the path to the bathroom. He is truly a sadist! It was a relief when I could finally go.

Savoring Submission

Published on November 25, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, edge play, embarrassment, exhibitionism, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sadism, sex, shio, spanking, squirting, stress and submissive. 2 Comments

I was feeling very cuddly and obedient Tuesday night. I threw in many “Sirs” that weren’t even strictly necessary. After my emotional outburst of the week before, it felt comforting to submit. To be his. At one point while we were cuddling, it felt like being in his arms was the most amazing, pleasurable place I could be. He counseled me over not letting work stresses and atmospheres push me into depression. Having him guide me is so very important. I still wince and shudder when I think that out of depression I nearly walked out.

He had me suck his cock. I suppose a good nickname for cocks would be “slut’s pacifier.” It’s not only hot to suck him til he’s good and hard, it’s also a comforting place to be. When I’m truly engaged in it, I don’t think about my problems. While I sucked, he talked about rough riding me. (Definition 1.2) He was going to let me use the Acuvibe on my cunt while going down on him but I couldn’t get in a good position to do so. So instead he told me I’d better get myself wet through thinking nice thoughts.

He told me that he’s trained me really well in sucking cock. He likes the way I take it in deep. He grasped my hair at times, and the whole situation was making me horny. The idea of unlubed sex with a stranger? Horrifying. Idea of unlubed sex with my Dom – hot beyond belief. Also, I was aroused, so I figured that I was likely to be at least somewhat wet.

He had me put a condom on and then suck his cock some more. The condom had the most vile tasting lube (w/ nonoxynol-9. I thought they banned that shit!), however, I was in full submissive mood so I just did as I was told and resolved to only mention the putrid lube later. Instead of taking his cock well into my mouth, I ended up doing a lot of spitting and drooling on it to wet it (and to avoid getting more lube in my mouth).

The Fascinator Throe is in the laundry, so we only had a towel to make sure I didn’t wet the bed with my come. He had me get on hands and knees. He slapped my ass and said, “Here’s your foreplay!” He spanked me some more. He knows just the right amount of roughness to get me going.

He fucked me, and certainly I wasn’t completely dry. The idea of him forcing his way into me got me lubed up in no time. He said, “Who needs lube?” Apparently not us as my pussy did what it needed to do.

He fucked me for a long time and alternately slow and fast. My head ended up way down on the bed so that my ass was as accessible as possible. “Take that, bitch!” In a consensual act of sex that’s fucking hot.

At one point he had me squeeze my vaginal muscles then release. He then resumed fucking me. I started to worry that I wouldn’t be able to hold back from coming after giving the clenching a test. He teased me and I struggled with finding that balance between enjoying the feeling and not getting so aroused I come. I love when he drags things out and keeps me on the edge of orgasm for a while. I love when he fucks me.

Eventually, he had me come and slapped my cunt to keep me coming after his penis was pushed out. He starts to gently touch my pussy and he gradually does more and more, teasing my hole, which makes me come more. As he slowly moves to putting his fingers inside me, I’m so hot with the desperate desire for him to violate me more blatantly. By his holding back a bit I think I came harder than I might have if he had just started in fingering me hard. But did I yearn for those fingers inside me! I love when he fingers me. I squirted…and missed the towel. Doh. But by bedtime the bed was dry.

I was feeling really cuddly after I recovered from the intense orgasms. He provided aftercare in a really good way at one point – he propped his book on my back and sat there reading, all the while caressing my butt, back and thighs. It was needed attention coupled with just a wee bit of objectification. I later enjoyed laying my head on his tummy, thinking that I should savor that moment in case he loses weight and has less tummy in the future. While I wholeheartedly support him losing weight to be healthier, I do like his tummy. But I’d definitely sacrifice his tummy for his health.

By the end of that evening, I had forgotten about the upcoming threat of the weekend. He’s having a guy who has come for a few shows with DeeDee come to see me – and to watch me pee. I am phenomenally pee-shy. I am terrified. He says that it’s ok, I can take as long as I need. But jeez, it might take me all weekend to relax enough to do that! And it doesn’t help knowing that the guy likes the humiliation of making a woman pee in front of him. He’ll love my struggle and anxiety. But while I’m scared, I’m also keen to do as I’m told. MasterDoc wants me to do it, so I want to succeed to please him.

While thinking about this that night I realized that I truly am a masochist. It’s not just a physical thing, but I get turned on by him pushing me outside my comfort zone. I get off on him making me hurt mentally (but as we discussed then, it’s about pain but never scarring or permanently injuring – mentally or physically. Ok, maybe a little physical scarring if it’s consensual.) While I’m terrified about peeing in front of someone, the idea that he’s making me do it is a turn on.

Stress Relief

Published on November 25, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, cunt, masochism, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, sadism, sex toys, stress, submissive and wax play. 2 Comments

Work has been stressful lately, which sounds ridiculous since it’s a public library and not a highly competitive corporation. But mismanagement will create stress no matter where it occurs.

Thankfully, I have MasterDoc to torment me and make me forget about my stresses.

On Monday he blindfolded me. Just prior to this, he had me gather my collar, the Acuvibe mini, condoms and lube. He gathered the candle for waxing, nipple clamps and clothespins.

Unfortunately my good Liberator blindfold was missing (found it later though), but I behaved and kept my eyes closed beneath the so-so blindfold we did have handy. So when he started dripping hot wax on my tummy, it came as quite a shock. I could tell that it was just a little ways off from my scar from the laparascopy in October since that’s a little more sensitive than it used to be. He dripped wax on my thighs and it felt like he was holding the candle quite near – which those of you in the know realize makes the wax hotter when it hits your skin, rather than giving it a second to cool slightly. I’d cry out, flinch but try to regain control of myself as soon as possible.

He had me turn over onto all fours, and dripped some wax on my back, all along the length of it. I felt him sit on the bed next to me, and he grasped my nipples roughly between thumb and forefinger. He put clothespins on my nipples and they pinched something awful. He flicked my nipples repeatedly. And this pain made me feel like my cunt was on fire. It hurt but it turned me on like crazy. He poured more wax on my back and took the vibrator to my clit. I humped the Acuvibe as best I could, moaning.

He had me turn over, clothespins still on. He flicked my nipples some more, poured more wax on me. He removed the clothespins and gave me the Acuvibe to use on myself. I reached down and spread the wetness seeping from my hole all over my pussy and used the vibe on my now lubricated clit. He sadistically poured hot wax on my sensitive nipples. The vibe was running down a bit but I kept rubbing it against my clit, slowly approaching orgasm. I heard him gather more stuff from our dresser filled with toys. He lubed me up with the tingling lube and I felt a hard, cold dildo pressing against my cunt. I couldn’t tell if it was a glass dildo – something I assumed it was until I later found out that it was my acrylic dildo. He slowly fucked me with it, working me up. Then came faster fucking and even faster fucking. He told me to come and I came hard, long, and over and over. I sound like I’m straining when I come these days. I tense up my neck and shoulders a lot and lift my head off the pillow. He forced me to come over and over, despite not being able to breathe, until I was totally satiated.

After this, all the stress had drained away from me. I was at peace. Being under his control is better than medication. He plays my body like a virtuoso plays the violin. I get to see him this weekend and I can’t wait!