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Aren’t all Second Dates at Swing Clubs?

Published on September 26, 2010 in attraction, bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, D/s, dating, DeeDee, kink, masochism, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, porn, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Friday night I met up with Blondie, my date from a couple of weeks ago, while out at the swing club with MasterDoc and DeeDee. Yes, I know that’s an odd thing to invite someone to on a second date, but well that’s the kind of perv I am. Sometimes I think I have no sense of how the “regular,” non-kinky world operates – or that others may or may not understand my way of doing things. Ultimately I think it’s best to be me and see how the other person reacts. I want to be with someone who can handle my lifestyle.

I’ve gradually been introduced to my date’s sexy past. On our first date she mentioned shyly having been a sex surrogate. I’m sure my completely mellow and positive reaction to that has helped move along the level of things she feels comfortable telling me. I knew about the pro-Domme work by the end of the first date, but didn’t catch the porn work until the second one. I’m sure there’s plenty of people out there who would be freaked out by these things, but personally I think they’re utterly cool and sexually very hot. While I had looked at her myspace page, I didn’t notice porn info (but when she mentioned doing porn for the first time around me she thought I probably already knew from her page). I had known she did fetish modeling though. So dribs and drabs have some out in a short space of time. I can totally understand the gradual revealing of information – I want to be open about who I am and what I like to get up to, but I worry about judgment. So I have to toss a few things out there and see how they go. If they go well I can toss a few more out there.

So far anything we’ve each thrown out there has seemed to go well. After all a pervy sex blogger has much in common with a fetish porn actress. (Oh yes, she not only did “straight” porn, she’s also done fetish. HAWT!) I woke up Saturday morning to MasterDoc and DeeDee looking up her porn online, and seeing the kinky stuff she’s done makes me feel really happy and comfortable being a perv around her. This isn’t the first time I’ve fooled around with a porn actress, but it is the first time I’m dating one I suppose.

At the same time, I don’t want her to feel like sex is the only thing I’m after. She took a break from porn so her life has been different in the past few years. As much as I love hot sex and think she and I could have a ton of fun together, I am also happy to go at her pace should it happen to be slower than mine currently. I like her. I feel there’s time for things to develop. Perhaps the most amazing thing for me is the fact that I feel reasonably confident she likes me. Usually I can’t believe the other woman is into me. I suppose my self-esteem is finally at a point where, while some nerves and fear of rejection remain, I can also sit back and say, “She acts like she likes me. And why shouldn’t she?” Having an open mind that the other person could like you helps immeasurably. I’ve probably done more self-sabotage with women by refusing to believe they could possibly like me. (Sad, I know.)

Feminist perv that I am, I don’t assume that just because she’s done kinky shit she would necessarily want to do the same right away with me. I don’t take it personally that she likes to use gloves when first sleeping with someone new. I see it as a smart safer sex precaution. It’s more precaution than I feel is necessary for my own peace of mind, but the whole point of risk assessment is deciding what level of risk works for you. I can’t decide anyone else’s level of acceptable risk.

So after that long-winded intro, I suppose I should talk about Friday night.

Blondie was delayed, so she doesn’t come into the story until a little later. I hung out at the club with MasterDoc and DeeDee. He had us take turns sucking his cock right there in the open as usual. It’s cute to see how much he loves showing off the hot sex he has on tap from TWO women. He’s not someone you’d guess that about at first glance. But his confidence is alluring. And then you see his big cock. And then you discover his incredible skill in bed. And you figure out that he’s a highly intelligent man who is also a huge pervert – AND has a sense of humor. I really didn’t stand a chance when I met him, did I?

I started getting nervous that she hadn’t shown up. I’m still in that stage where my fragile ego is convinced I’ll get rejected. Thankfully, MasterDoc took me off into the back room and did some play to get my mind off things.

We actually brought my wrist and ankle cuffs for once (we have often meant to) and he attached me to the St. Andrew’s cross with DeeDee’s assistance. I had on my bra, fishnet stockings and garter belt, but had taken off my dress – and not worn panties in the first place. He spanked me, hitting me pretty hard. I found myself in a decidedly masochistic mood. He flogged me, used the riding crop on me. He flogged my butt and my upper back. I loved the pain, I loved the sense of him being in control. The crowd that night seemed less kink-savvy than it is some nights, but I blocked the crowd out and let myself get into the flogging. He started playing with my cunt, and shortly he told me to come. Fuuuuuck. It’s hard to come while holding yourself in a standing position. Oh yeah I’m technically held up by wrist cuffs, but I can’t really place my whole weight on that. So I had this struggle of “oh god that feels good, I’m coming!” mixed with “ow, my body is getting really tired from trying to hold myself up.” I think I squirted a tiny bit but it was interrupted by needing to support myself. I prefer coming when I can just lose myself to the orgasm and not have to worry about holding myself up.

I rested a bit after, thinking that I really need to get into shape. I talked to DeeDee about her latest job prospects when MasterDoc went off to use the bathroom. The three of us were back in the socializing area when Blondie showed up. I was glad to see her. I’m trying to find the right balance of excitement over meeting someone new I like, and expressing that I like her, without seeming too intense. I don’t know yet if this will be a romance, or play partners, or what have you. And being poly and already in a stable relationship I find it much easier to relax and see where life takes me. For now, I enjoy her company, I’m hot for her and want to keep getting together. The last thing I want to seem like is that old U-Haul joke (you know, the one that goes, “What does a lesbian bring to a second date?” “A U-Haul.”).

Walking around the swing club with another woman is a very different experience than being there with a man. It was the first time I had done so, and jeezus, the men flock. That evening seemed to have more than the usual amount of clueless males, but I think it would have been bad regardless. The lack of respect by your average straight guy for something that’s going on between two women is highly irritating. She was flogging me on the cross (not attached this time, but yes I was flogged twice. Yes, I’m lucky!) and some total idiot called out “What’s that feel like?!” and then came up beside me, put his hands against the wall and stuck his butt out. Blondie had no trouble firmly but politely telling him that he’s interrupting. I had no problem turning to him and letting him know he was being rude. “Seriously, you’re being a bit of a dick right now,” I said. He scurried off. The issues seem to be that in the swing atmosphere it’s much more accepted to try to get in on the action. It’s never okay to touch without permission, or to be a dick, but aggressive men asking if they could join us is to be expected. Kinksters seem to have a much better sense of letting people do their thing and not intruding. Just because you’re playing in public doesn’t mean you want people to join in. It pissed me off that the social conditioning for men is such that they can’t envision two women just playing together. We don’t need your cock to join in guys! I love cock and I’m pretty sure Blondie does too, but we’re perfectly happy being kinky by ourselves thank you.

It’s a shame because we have to be firm and bitchy. If you’re at all polite or friendly the guy will come back again, and again, and again. But it’s not easy to always be bitchy. If a guy is cute and under the right circumstances I’d be up for fucking him then I don’t want to be so stern that I make sure he never comes back. But if I’m not up for fucking him that night I’m in for lots of badgering all evening. And by the end of the night I’m far less interested.

We talked with a cute Asian guy, but his many attempts to get our numbers, invite us out to another swing club, etc. went un-encouraged for the most part. I gave him this blog address, but wouldn’t give out phone number. After all, I know my situation as MasterDoc’s submissive and the fact that me going to a swing club with some other guy is pretty counter to our dynamic. I don’t think he or I would be happy with that situation. (I don’t rule it out, but it’s not of interest just now.) Somehow it’s different with a woman. Women aren’t so fucking pushy.

But when we managed to ignore the interruptions she gave me a lovely flogging – a bit of pain mixed with lots of the lovely softness of her rabbit fur flogger. Her flogger is of a better quality than the one I acquired recently, and it’s possible to give a good hit with it. She used the riding crop on me (including my outer limbs which MasterDoc doesn’t usually do). I needed to sit down after a while, and she suggested I lay down on the bed so she could flog my front. Rowr. This she did, she also spread my legs to slap my thighs. I think she was going a bit easy on me, which would make perfect sense playing with someone new. I hope to encourage her to go harder in the future. She straddled me and played with my tits. I stroked her legs and when she took her top down to reveal her lacy camisole, I reached up to play with her tits too. I was in a happy place!

All of us left at the same time, and at the end I had expressed interest in going with her to a women-only play party the following night. (She had mentioned it before, I had been to a few of these parties years ago.) We parted ways with the agreement to make plans the next day.

Kinky Foursome

Published on September 23, 2010 in bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, D/s, foursome, gags, horny, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, submissive, swinging, Uncategorized and wax play. 2 Comments

It’s taken me a couple of days to sit down and write more than just notes about the kinky foursome we had on Tuesday. The featured guests were slave amber and her Master from this little nugget of a blog post.

Her Master arrived first, he and MasterDoc talked a bit about what they were planning to do (as they had done online earlier). With two diabolical minds at work I was nervous, but I needn’t be. MasterDoc would take care of me.

MasterDoc thought of the behind the back restraints I’m so hot for using, so I went to get them from the play room. However, this train of thought was distracted by amber calling up needing direction assistance. Later, when she had arrived, I had to remind MasterDoc that we were going to use them. Being bound and somewhat helpless turns me on tremendously. We don’t do enough bondage. My earliest bsdm fantasies consisted of being kidnapped, tied up, gagged and played with. Make me come when I’m helpless and I turn to mush.

MasterDoc made me come by touching me and commanding. Our guests were pretty impressed by how easily he could make me come. I have found, however, that if I’m not worked up mentally beforehand, while I still orgasm (uterus contracts and all) it’s not nearly as satisfying as an orgasm with more foreplay to it. Even if that foreplay is just mental.

Of course being a couple of days late writing this I’m bound to leave something out. Speaking of bound – amber’s Master likes to play with rope (one of MasterDoc’s few weaknesses). I was told to get on all fours and he bound my tits. Then he had me kneel up and he extended the tie into a crotch rope. Initially I wasn’t into it, but after I lay down on the mat in the living room and the dental gag was put in my mouth, and the Wartenburg wheel run over my body, I started to change my mind. The wheel tickles much of the time – I had to try to explain this with my mouth held wide open. With more pressure it “hurts better” as MasterDoc put it. Indeed. It felt good on my sensitive bound breasts.

After that, there was talk of hot wax. I was surprised that I was the intended victim, but of course amber was told to lay beside me (cheap shower curtains are great for easy clean up!) and both of us had hot wax poured over our fronts. I was yelping quite a bit, and wondered if I was a wimp. But thankfully MasterDoc suspected that their candle was much cooler – and so the two Doms switched candles. Totally different using their candle. No more yelps from me but plenty from amber. The two of us were waxed on front and back. We scraped off as much as possible before leaving the shower curtain, and towards the end MasterDoc realized that this textured rubber glove he has is just perfect for wiping the wax off (and providing some sensation play at the same time.)

The next scene required wrist and ankle cuffs. I was overjoyed to use mine. I bought them long before I met MasterDoc and we haven’t gotten to use them much. The other Master bound amber and I to each other. I’m taller so my arms were wrapped around her upper back. He also attached our ankles together. Next, we were wrapped in plastic cling wrap. I was concerned about this beforehand because I had a boyfriend wrap me once before and I panicked when I couldn’t breathe. This time, however, it was totally cool. They men ordered us to make out with each other while bound together. Being pressed up against a woman and kissing her with my Dom watching is pretty damn hot.

The day became physically wearing as the two Doms had loads of ideas of things to try with two subs/slaves present. amber’s Master brought a brand new double-ended dildo. I had used one before and found it lacking, but of course I could give it a try again. (I have yet to find a silicone double ended dildo – use condoms with the ones out there as they’re usually made of a porous material, not to mention they have nasty pthalates in them.) We were positioned on our hands and knees on the mat, our asses pointing at each other. I felt the dildo slide in and it wasn’t unpleasant, but it wasn’t thrilling either. MasterDoc gave me a vibe to use on my clit. amber’s Master ordered me to move on it, but it’s pretty hard to get any thrust from such a flexible dildo. MasterDoc stepped in and moved it back and forth so both of us were getting fucked alternately. This enabled me to come. And with the vibe on my clit I came pretty damn hard. I think having someone move the dildo is the secret.

I was exhausted. Holding yourself on hands and knees or kneeling for extended periods of time takes energy. I lay spent on the mat while MasterDoc started showing the Gigi to amber. I gushed about Lelo toys and explained how it’s stronger than battery-operated vibes because it’s a rechargeable. MasterDoc toyed with her clit while her Master kissed her. I joined in first by sucking on her nipple, and later by by wetting my finger and stroking her clit. I played with her clit while MasterDoc fucked her with the Gigi.

Our guests left after this, and it was a fun afternoon albeit a joking one. But hey, I like people with senses of humor. It just might have been more sexually stimulating with less joking. Oh well, there’s always next time.

MasterDoc and I had dinner and rested for a while. I still wanted his cock inside me though. (This was during the 4 days a month my birth control takes a rest, so I was feeling lots of menstrual symptoms such as rampant horniness.) My back ached and MasterDoc was kind enough to massage it for a bit. (Not only do I massage him, he will do the same for me. And as a doctor he puts his knowledge of anatomy to good use there as well.) For fucking, he put me over the Liberator axis which was just perfect because I could rest my full weight. It had the effect of making me feel a bit like an object, and lately I’ve been into that

My incredible horniness still wasn’t sated after our fuck. I figured MasterDoc would have no problem with me using one of my weekly masturbation sessions, and so I grabbed the Hitachi and went to town. MasterDoc came in to join me just in time to see me to come and lend a hand a little. I was happy after, and boy did I sleep well that night.

Bliss

Published on August 19, 2010 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, D/s, horny, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting, sybian and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

After a week of no sex and not seeing much of MasterDoc, I got to break my sexual fast on Tuesday night. As MasterDoc popped a half of a “happy pill” (in this case, viagra) he joked that when you’re still young and strong enough to break the pill in half, you only need a half. But if you get older and feeble enough to not be able to break the pill, you probably need the whole at that point!

We lay close on the bed in the playroom. (Yes, he has a bedroom devoted to sex. All my toys are in there.) He revved me up with just gentle touches to my cunt – just the outer labia. Very quickly he had me twitching and breathing heavy. My response times with him have gotten to be pretty amazing. There’s always times when my head is not in the right place, but as long as I can focus and relax I get aroused by any and all touches from him.

He had me suck his cock and get it hard and it was nice to get it after a week without. My jaw got sore earlier than usual that night, and I pointed out that it hadn’t been used that way in a week! MasterDoc joked that he will have to send over practice cocks for me to suck to keep me in shape when he’s busy.

I had finally taken the time to put out toys as “hints.” I had long resisted getting out anything but what he asked for, as I don’t want to top from the bottom. But after telling me various times that I can suggest things (I just shouldn’t expect that they will necessarily be used), I put out some hints. Anal beads. Flogger. Gag. He had me kneel facing away from him, and he lubed up and slipped in the anal beads. He slid them in only part way, and mentioned how he loves the way they look like a tail when only partially inserted. (Nice bit of humiliation play there.) He gradually slid in each larger bead in with long intervals in between. He decided to fuck me while it was still partly out and I could feel his cock fill my cunt up while the beads pressed in my ass. I was soon writhing and desperate to come. He pushed the final beads in very slowly and gradually. He held me in desperation for what felt like an eternity. It probably wasn’t long but when you’re on the edge of orgasm every nanosecond takes forever.

After fucking me and making me come (a whole lot), he left me in bedroom with the behind back cuffs attached to my neck only, and my Gigi. (I can’t find a link to the cuffs. May not be available any more from sextoy.com. They consist of a leather collar, a long leather piece that goes down your back and cuffs at the end of that to secure your wrists.) He told me to warm myself up and I masturbated happily. I teased myself and made myself feel good. MasterDoc came back in several minutes later and asked if I was ready to be fucked. I replied, “Yes Sir,” and he took me to living room.

There I found the sybian all ready to go. After getting it condomed and lubed up, he put me on it and then used the cuffs to restrain my arms behind my back. He sat in front of me and gave me a hell of a ride. He was teasing so much but meanwhile I was so turned on by the bondage that I became wildly aroused at a lower setting than usual. He told me I didn’t need to hold off on begging to come if it wasn’t his cock in side me. (He usually wants me to wait as long as possible to beg for permission when he’s fucking me.) I begged soon after for orgasm and he let me come. My head leaned against his chest and kept me from toppling over. The sybian was still on fairly low vibration but I couldn’t resist begging him to turn it up and it made me come again, this time harder and I squirted all over the machine. He kept me feeling like jello and spasming for a while. He turned it down, and told me to come down slowly. But then he turned it up a little and made me come again before turning it slowly off.

Needless to say I was tired, but very happy.

Using the Slave

Published on August 12, 2010 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, cunnilingus, D/s, DeeDee, dom, exhibitionism, gags, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, Uncategorized and wartenburg wheel. 2 Comments

I arrived at MasterDoc’s Tuesday night thinking I was going to have a night alone. He and DeeDee were planning on going out to something kinky (he wouldn’t specify) and even though I didn’t have to be at work until late the next day, he thought it best to just bring DeeDee. I was totally in an anti-social mood, so it was a bit of a surprise to find them both home when I got there – and that the people they were going to see were coming over. The situation was this: a Dominant has a slave he’s training, and as part of her training she was going to be used by a bunch of strangers.

The slave got to see me briefly as I came outside to help them bring their toys in from the car. They brought a large cage to keep her in. Her Master had her wait in the hall outside the apartment until the cage was set up, then he blindfolded her and brought her in. He spent some time alone with her in the bedroom where the cage sat and then left her in her cage for a little while. She was blindfolded with an elastic bandage.

He came out and spoke to the rest of us about what was planned. He had also brought along a switchy lady he had been talking to (who is really cool. I totally want to hang with her again). So there were four ladies and two men. (Cue the Beach Boys: “Two girls for ev-ry Dom!”) The evening started off with the rest of us being silent, so she couldn’t tell who was touching her or how many people there were. Their relationship is much more formal than mine and MasterDoc’s – he had her crawl around the whole time, she has specific positions she needs to get into on command. He seems to inflict more pain than I think I could take, but perhaps it was more the kinds of pain than how much? I’m not sure.

After he had her display herself (first position was kneeling up, legs spread, arms behind back, head back and mouth open, she looked lovely) we took turns groping her. MasterDoc was not shy and immediately went over to see how wet her cunt was. I needed a little waving forward from her Dom after MasterDoc finished, but I enjoyed her soft breasts and toyed with her cunt a little. I don’t know why I get so damn shy with women. The other lady then played with her.

The details are hard to follow as so much happened that night. I know I got a little cuddle from MasterDoc while the other lady fingered the slave. I stroked his back as he stroked his cock watching the slave get used. DeeDee also came over and played with him a bit.

When the lady was done, MasterDoc slipped on a condom and fucked her. Her Master told me to kiss her and so I made out with her while MasterDoc pounded her. (Kinda hard to keep kissing when she is moved around so much from the pounding.) The slave was an attractive lady, so it was definitely a pleasure to play with her. (I’d hang with any and all of the people involved again.)

The two Doms decided that the slave would eat me out, and so she went down on me. I actually pushed her head down a little as she was just above my clit. The other Dom played with my tits and MasterDoc did as well. I came – having been given permission to come at will – but not quite with the same intensity I come with MasterDoc. In fact, MasterDoc and DeeDee hadn’t realized I came! And if any two people would know what I look like during orgasm it’s them. But I not only came, I squirted. A couple of times. MasterDoc thought I was in a state of frustration, but I expressed that actually, I had had enough.

Her Dom bit my nipple so hard! I’m not used to prolonged strong biting. My nipples are pretty sensitive and we don’t do a lot of nipple torture. MasterDoc is fond of flicking my nipples with his fingers – which hurts, but not so much the other stuff. MasterDoc had been doing this flicking on her clit over and over earlier.

At some point, her Master had her masturbate in front of us. I watched her rub her clit and wondered when she’d be allowed to come. After a while, he gave her a toothbrush to masturbate with. Yes, she rubbed her clit (or just above it, more on the clitoral hood) with the bristles of a toothbrush. Ouch.

She was spanked a bit with an acrylic (I think) cane. MasterDoc spanked her as well. MasterDoc flogged her a little. She ended up going down on the other woman, and while her ass was in the air doing that MasterDoc fucked her. DeeDee jumped in and started playing with his ass, but the other Dom asked her to take more photos. (Yes, there are photos of this. No, I don’t think I will get to share any here.) As she used the camera I took over playing with MasterDoc’s ass as he likes. I truly enjoyed seeing him enjoy himself. He was like a little boy at Christmas. I think I’m finally at a point where I can accept that new pussy is sort of a fetish of his, and that he will always look for it, but that he loves me and will come back to me. He took the time to pretty much tell me this as he fucked her and kissed me.

I lose the thread of the story about now. I know the other Dom fingered (quite expertly it seemed) the other lady. The other Dom didn’t play with myself or DeeDee at all – except to put cups on our nipples. (e.g., cupping as used in some Asian medicine). The suction hurt me just too much! My left nipple was already sore from him biting on it, and just the other day I chose to endure the clover clamps for a while. I just couldn’t handle the feeling of the suction on my tender nipples. But at one point all of us ladies had cups attached to our nipples by suction.

Her Master had her drink out of a dog bowl on the floor, but treated her to a diet root beer later after she had already been a good girl for a while.

She was still blindfolded through this, mind you. He took out a dental gag and I drooled. MasterDoc joked that he was making him look bad – after all he brought out all sorts of toys that I ask and hope for but don’t usually get used on me. With the dental gag in, he dragged the wartenburg wheel all over her body. Fuck. I was so turned on watching this that my body would involuntarily twitch. I so want that for myself. I cringed a little when he ran it over her sore pussy, but I’ll bet it was ultimately wonderful.

The slave was put over the Liberator scoop at one point and cuffed down by wrists and thighs. I think I wandered off to the kitchen at this point, so my recall of what happened is spotty. (I know, I know, I do my best to fill you guys in entirely but a human being can only do so much!) There had been some cock sucking along the line (perhaps most interesting was her Dom putting his cock in her mouth from above as she lay on the floor being used by others).

She was finally allowed to come as her Dom used the Hitachi on her – and she squirted a ton. Next the other Dom made the other lady come, and MasterDoc got DeeDee and I to come simultaneously on the sofa on either side of him. While I had come a few times, I didn’t come with the intensity possible when MasterDoc focuses, and thankfully he wanted to make me come hard, and used the Hitachi on me some more and made me squirt a river as he made me come on the couch.

The hour grew late, and the planned double penetration didn’t happen. But to finish off her Dom and MasterDoc took her into the bathtub and peed on her simultaneously. And she didn’t get to kneel like DeeDee and I get to, she had to lay down and have them piss in her mouth. Yikes. I would freak out over that. I know MasterDoc plans to get me to the point of pissing in my mouth some time, but that one’s going to be much harder to overcome than ass licking was. I stayed in the living room talking to DeeDee and the other lady. But DeeDee got called in to take photos. She looked awfully queasy when she returned.

The slave was left alone to shower off and came back out with the blindfold on. All the goodies they brought along got packed up, and we all said our thank yous and goodbyes. For a night when I thought I’d be totally antisocial, it ended up being pretty freaking hot. I must say however, that the selfish girl in me wishes I had been the center of attention. The next morning, DeeDee and I talked about how our evening had been something that previously (previous to getting into the lifestyle) we would have thought happened only in novels. But yes, these evenings of utter debauchery do happen. I don’t make up these stories, I only chronicle them. I am thrilled to be at the level of perviness that these hot group things go on from time to time. I am a lucky girl.

Afternoon Delight

Published on August 10, 2010 in bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dp, gang bang, horny, kink, masochism, masturbation, needle play, nipple clamps, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, pillow princess, porn, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I started getting a little blue on Sunday afternoon. I was supposed to have time alone with MasterDoc, filled with cuddles and hopefully some kinky sex. Instead I was helping him figure out how to put mp3 files on his Palm Pre. Ever astute, he picked up on my mood and asked what was wrong. I told him and he set to fixing the problem right away.

We cuddled a bit in the bedroom and I told him that I was feeling really passive. (Sometimes I just want to be teased and tormented and not taking such an active role. In the past this has gotten me called a pillow princess, but lately I’m much more active so I can get away with this now and then) This worked out because he was already planning to tie me down to the bed (via the under the bed restraints). He made sure the lines were pulled tight so my arms were spread as wide as possible. I was truly helpless. He blindfolded me.

He licked my clit for a while, something that feels divine. He teased me with a vibrator, and after inserting it to stimulate my g-spot, he licked my clit some more until he made me come (giving permission for the orgasm of course).

He left the room for a few minutes. I of course remained where I lay since I couldn’t move at all. He returned with some ice which he used on my clit. He took a phone call during this, and I was left to stifle my cries as he teased my cunt some more with the bitterly cold ice. I don’t like being cold! Applied to my pussy for too long it hurts.

He had talked about play piercing and I was nervous he’d follow through on the idea of nipple piercing. (And wouldn’t you know it, I was scared of that but my body gave me away by twitching in arousal when he spoke about it.) He felt my body, searching for the right place to put a needle or two. He came to my inner thighs and said that’s the spot. I’m freaked out as my inner thighs are incredibly sensitive. I dreaded a needle going through the flesh there. He swabbed my left inner thigh with an alcohol wipe and grabbed a hold of a chunk of flesh.

I could have sworn he was putting a needle in, and I cringed appropriately. But he had the last laugh. He had just pinched my thigh with his hand – he didn’t use a needle. But I was so psyched up into thinking “piercing” that he didn’t need to actually do it for me to feel the sensation. Pretty wild and an excellent mindfuck.

Next he put nipple clamps on and left the room. I was turned on by the fact of my utter helplessness and the fact that he can inflict pain on my body if he chooses. That’s power.

When he returned he fucked me while I was tied down. I couldn’t get my legs apart as much as usual since my ankles were cuffed to the edges of the bed, but he managed to fuck me quite well (albeit not quite as deep as usual). As I came, he choked me a little during orgasm. No real air constriction, but a firm hand at my throat. Fuck, that made it hotter. I was a happy puddle afterward. (And had a puddle of girl cum under my ass too.)

He untied my arms and gave me some aftercare. Next he had me suck his cock for a while, and I reveled in it and fantasized about dirty things like being fucked from behind with clover clamps on while gagged. I never ask for the clover clamps – they hurt like a motherfucker! While I was fantasizing about him inflicting more pain on me, he gagged me on his cock. I’m thrilled that he does that pretty often lately. We’ve both found something new we enjoy. He had me get on top of his hard cock for a ride. He teased me with a long, slow fuck. He made me come for a long, languorous time. I had to lay down to rest after, and could have easily fallen asleep.

But wait, there’s more! I told him my fantasy from earlier. He put on the clover clamps right after mentioning that I probably couldn’t handle them for the entire time he fucks me. He gave me permission to remove them if I needed. I wore them longer than one would think I could manage. I was kneeling at the end of the bed with the clamps biting into my nipples as he fucked me. I don’t know what it is, I guess it’s my masochism, or need to submit, but there’s something erotic about knowing he can hurt me – that he has the authority to make me hurt. He has the authority to fuck me while he makes me hurt. Damn that’s hot. I ended up pulling off the clamps mid orgasm. And I squirted some more on the throe. (That thing desperately needs a cleaning now.)

He got hard again and had me ride him another time. I wasn’t sure that I had the stamina at that point, but his cock feels so good it kept me going. He squeezed my boobs hard, which doesn’t feel as good as nipple pinching would. He made me come again, and a little later, again.

I was spent, but MasterDoc had yet to come. He put on some porn, and I gave him a prostate massageas he stroked his cock. He was laying on his side, which usually puts me off kilter in regards to finding his prostate, but I’ve gotten better at feeling that little “walnut” texture of the gland to find it. I was distracted by the porn myself, as the storyline of the maid who is then gang banged by the dinner guests and the butler turned me on immensely. I was just dying to be the center of a few men at that moment. I focused enough on making him feel good to get him to shoot a big load. (The throe was a complete cummy mess by this time from him and me.) Since I was thoroughly enjoying the slutty porn he told me I could continue watching and he gave me permission to make myself come. I grabbed my Gigi as my preferred masturbating hand had just been in his ass (and we don’t want a vaginal infection to result). I rubbed the vibe on my clit for just a few moments. While watching the woman get double penetrated while sucking a third guy’s cock, I made myself come hard.

I finished watching the video, and MasterDoc came back in the bedroom. He asked if I had decided not to masturbate, but I said that no, I had come already.

What an entirely amazing afternoon.

A Victim of My Own Success

Published on July 25, 2010 in analingus, blow jobs, bondage, D/s, horny, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

As many of you have seen on twitter, I didn’t see MasterDoc for over a week. He went away to his friend’s wedding across the country. I still hung out surprisingly often at his place, spending some time with DeeDee and her friend. I got to see my friend DivaSub and we watched some funny movies and stuff. (Bill Hicks, Valley Girl, Dazed and Confused – for the win!) I also managed to find an apartment I like. (And DivaSub is thrilled since it’s near her, in fact you can see her apartment window from the window of what I hope will soon be my apartment.) I’ll be just two blocks from MasterDoc, which is excellent not only because I see him often, but also because I have never lived alone before. I’m really nervous yet excited about it. I love the apartment so hopefully I will get my paperwork in quickly enough to snag it. I have great credit and earn enough to rent there, so things should go well. I’m also trying to snag garage parking in the building across the street (the building I want to move into has a waiting list for the garage). It’s just a studio, but it has an actual kitchen plus tons of closet space. I was born an NYC girl and I will be one again if all goes as planned.

I saw MasterDoc a tiny bit Friday morning. He got in late from work and slept next to me. I got a quick cuddle before he went back to sleep and I got ready for work.

I was so happy to get some time alone with him Friday night, but as we got ready to “do the freaky-freaky” as MasterDoc might say, he fell into a very sadistic, teasing mood. I was needing cuddles and reconnecting, and he was talking about making me lick chocolate sauce from his asshole. (Ew.) I found it harder to get turned on because I just wasn’t in a state where I could handle teasing about stuff I don’t like. (And he had left me on a teasing note, tormenting me about pissing in my mouth.)

He took a moment to change his mindset, and things proceeded much better from there. At this point in our relationship, I just have to press my naked body against his and I get turned on. My hands wander his chest and I get more and more excited. He gets excited too from touching me and having me close.

It dawned on MasterDoc that that’s why we don’t do as much kinky stuff lately – he gets so turned on that all he can think about in the moment is fucking me. I am a victim of my own success. He often intends to do kinky stuff, but never quite gets there. I have to say, the sex is so phenomenal that I can’t truly complain, but I would love some more kink back in my life.

He had me suck his cock and I got into it: licking, slurping, making it hard. He twined his fingers in my hair and I got even more excited hoping he was going to choke me on his cock. He did, finally, holding my head down until I actually started to gag on his cock. Then I lay on his chest to catch my breath. While I needed time to recover, I would have loved to go again. It’s like there’s some sort of high that’s produced when he does that. I hope he does more in the future. I blew him until he had me stop, saying that one of these days I’ll manage to make him come orally. This doesn’t happen often for him (and hasn’t happened ever with me) so I look forward to it!

I deep throated him as much as possible. I love making him feel good! It turns me on to know that I’ve gotten really good at giving him head. I used to be a lover who was really focused on her own pleasure, but now I’ve learned to get immense pleasure out of my partner’s pleasure too.

MasterDoc played with my pussy for a bit, but I had a hard time getting aroused as my clit was so sensitive that touching it hurt. Adding lube helped a lot and as he was hard and ready, he had me get on top of his cock for a ride. Oh it was so nice to slip him inside me. I’m spoiled with regular sex so going about a week and a half without it was hard! Fucking him excited me so much that I came wildly when he gave permission. My whole body tensed up, I fell forward onto him, and I kept involuntarily twitching as he touched me. He wrung every last orgasm out of my body, and I was exhausted after. So often these days I wonder if I can keep coming (or if my body is too tired to) and just as I wonder that he makes me come again.

It’s an exquisite form of control. He can make me twitch and come with just the touch of his hand. When he fucks me, I come until he decides to stop me. I can’t control coming again and again if he decides to make me come.

We fucked a second time. I knelt at the end of the bed and leaned over my Liberator Axis (that thing kicks ass for support during doggy style sex). He teased me a bit, not putting his cock in right away. I was so, so desperate for it. I sighed as he slid his cock in. He fucked me for a long time, I moaned a lot as I could have come shortly after he started. I’m sure he can hear through my moans that plaintive call where I wordlessly try to beg for orgasm.

When I came, my pussy pushed his cock out, but he continued with his hands. I squirted a whole bunch and then kept right on coming. Again, he forced orgasms out of me until I didn’t think I could stand it any more. As he finished with me and told me to fall forward, I just about managed to get the axis out from under me before I collapsed.

Before we started, we put the underbed restraints on the bed. He had me lay in the middle of the bed, on my stomach, and he strapped me down. At first, this made me so hot as I love bondage. But he left me there, and as time went on my shoulders began to ache. I debated calling out for him but the sub in me wanted to see if I could concentrate on relaxing and thereby stay bound without so much shoulder pain. I was left there quite a while as he got distracted by the Yankee game. When he came in I told him about the discomfort and he undid me, pointing out that he wouldn’t get mad at me for having to ask him to un-cuff me if I was in pain.

We started getting amorous again, but DeeDee called to say she and her friend were on the way home. We had to forego a third round of sex. It was such a shame as we both would have loved more, but considering the many, many orgasms I had, I can’t complain.

Troublesome Tart

Published on July 7, 2010 in bdsm, bondage, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dom, happy, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Monday afternoon MasterDoc and I got some time alone, and I’m really happy to say he listened to my wishes for using bondage. *happy dance* He had me lay on the bed and he secured my wrists and ankles with the underbed restraints. I was so turned on by being restrained. No, seriously. The simple act of being bound made me hot. This is why I’ve been begging for bondage. MasterDoc teased me with his mouth. He crawled up beside me and teased me with his fingers. He sucked hard on my breasts until the pain made me moan. He got me incredibly worked up and then left me there.

I lay in the bedroom alone and bound for what felt like several minutes. Instead of letting my mind wander and get impatient, I focused on how helpless I was. I would pull against the restraints gently to remind myself that I couldn’t get up and this alone was enough to get me moaning and horny. I love fantasizing about MasterDoc being all-powerful and me being helpless. (I can haz more pls?)

When he returned, he had an ice cube in a baggie. He knows I hate ice/being cold. But in this situation it turned me on even more because he was free to do something to me I don’t like. Yes, the helplessness again. He iced my nipple until the cold began to hurt. He followed up with the ice on my clit – again there was pain after a while but this turned me on. He worked me up and over until he shoved the ice in my pussy and made me come. Fuck. Being tormented never felt so good.

He undid one of my wrists after that, and cuddled with me a bit. He told me to undo my other wrist and while my ankles were still bound he made me come again. I was in heaven.

We took a break and fixed dinner right after this, and he said something teasingly mean in the kitchen. I told him, “You’re mean!” but a few seconds later I sheepishly admitted, “And it turns me on a lot when you’re mean.”

After dinner we sat on the sofa and looked through Kink Academy’s scene starter/humiliation cards. Most of the humiliation term ideas were over the top for us, but it was good for a laugh. As MasterDoc read from the cards, he came across “porn addicted masturbator.” In perfect deadpan he said, “No, that’s me,” and moved on to the next card. He found one insult that he thought suited DeeDee (especially since she was out with one of our friends fucking a friend of this friend). “Nasty greedy raunchy dirty whore” He couldn’t wait to share that with her when she got home. He also liked “semen swasher” and “troublesome tart.” (I like that one too. And, well, sometimes it fits me.)

He gave me a bit of a hard time about wanting more sex, but I protested that I didn’t think I asked for too much. I was surprised he gave me a hard time, because it was implied earlier that we’d get up to more. He took me back in the bedroom and fucked me from behind. I loved being used as his slut. I was in such a subby mindset that I kept envisioning me as just a whore with a hole for him to take his pleasure from. God that’s hot. He fucked me well twice and made me come hard, squirting all over. My vaginal muscles didn’t push him out right away, so he kept pounding me while I came. I was screaming for what seemed to be many minutes (but I have no idea how long it actually was). I hope the neighbors didn’t worry about the screaming.

Flirtation and Flogging

Published on June 20, 2010 in attraction, bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, caning, D/s, DeeDee, edge play, exhibitionism, flogging, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, slut, spanking, submissive, sybian and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I had a fabulous time Friday night! I don’t often name specific clubs or parties here, but Sir Magnus Romello’s bdsm parties (Avant Garde Loft) are ones to watch! They have really taken off. Look them up on fetlife.

I was a little more confident and I flirted with one of Sir Magnus’ submissives pretty blatantly. (I will call her Sofija here. She is Serbian so I picked out a Serbian name for her courtesy of a google search.) I had emailed her after meeting last time and we were maybe going to meet up for coffee. (But her Sir insisted she catch up on sleep while on that break from work. Fair enough.) Hitting on her was easier due to getting a clear vibe that she is interested too. But can you see it? Me – the Queen of the Lesbian Sheep Dance – I was forward. No joke.

I was more social this time around. Initially I thought Sofija didn’t remember me which bummed me out, but it was really down to dim lighting, my new bangs, and her being a little tipsy – she didn’t recognize me at first but then she was happy to see me. When MasterDoc saw my opportunity to chat with her, he pulled DeeDee away to walk around and left me talking with Sofija and her friend. Sofija invited me to come along with them when they went elsewhere in the club and I followed. We joked around with Sofija’s strap on and I was feeling pretty confident and good. Her friend for the evening was visiting from the south and she was a young (18 or 19 years old), gorgeous woman. (Tall, slim, pretty – and yet in conversation with her later that night it turns out she doesn’t realize how gorgeous she is. I hate how women are taught to feel insecure in our society.) I was thrilled when the younger woman had trouble believing that Sofija is in her early thirties and me in my late thirties. She said, “Everyone looks younger up here!”

The social period went on, I got side tracked from following Sofija and friend by running into DeeDee who was talking with a fem Domme. People are really quite friendly for the most part at these parties. I can see myself going regularly and getting to be friendly with some people. (Unlike when I wrote about another New York party on here that I didn’t enjoy as much.)

I was thrilled when MasterDoc started setting things up to flog me. He and DeeDee put my wrists in cuffs and attached me to a low St. Andrew’s cross. MasterDoc flogged me – first with the little flogger, then interrupted to spank me with his hands, and then the big flogger. He struck both my ass and my upper back. He was pretty intense with the hits and he even worked in the cane a few times. I cried out as loud as I could to be heard over the music. I checked in with him at one point to make sure he could hear me crying out. He said simply, “Yes,” and went back to work. Ok, then. As long as he was aware at how much pain he was causing, I was okay with that.

He teased me with a vibe, but the difficult thing is when you’re reaching around a woman from the back, it’s much harder to find her clit than from the front. He teased me a whole lot, mostly not on quite the right spot. He told me I could come ad-lib and as I started coming he pulled the toy away. Fuck. Orgasm interruptus. (He could hear cries of pain over the music but not the more subtle sounds of impending orgasm.) He had DeeDee help out with using the toy while he flogged me but bless her heart she’s still learning and couldn’t get the vibe on the right spot. I started laughing because the situation was kinda funny to me – I’m being teased but in such a way that the stimulation is not enough to get me anywhere near getting off. With my hands bound, I couldn’t show DeeDee where to put the vibe exactly. MasterDoc took over the toy again, and I was nearly – nearly! – to orgasm but my knees gave out. They started doing this popping thing and I couldn’t hold myself up any more. I need to get in shape.

I was so frustrated at not really coming, but my body was exhausted. I sat and rested for a while and then MasterDoc decided to give me the first sybian ride of the evening. It was wonderful to finally come! I screamed as I came. MasterDoc kept me coming over and over and over again. He pushed me past what I thought I could handle. DeeDee spanked me a bit and then she pressed against me and could feel the vibrations through my body. MasterDoc told her she could come as well, and she came pressed into me – which made me come harder.

I was exhausted after. Yes, even more so than before. I lay down on the mat next to the sybian for a while. MasterDoc chatted with DeeDee while I lay there, and at one point he started using me as a foot rest. Kinky perv that I am, I thought that was hot. Sometimes I really, really get into being submissive. After I had enough energy to sit up, I sat on the mat by his feet and hugged his leg. I do enjoy being the worshipful sub sometimes.

MasterDoc gave other sybian rides, of course. One of Sofija’s “sisters” (in her leather family) held the young Southern woman as she rode for her first time. MasterDoc sat off the to the side, watching her reactions and manning the controls. Sofija sat nearby and I initiated a little flirting. We held hands for a brief few moments. I was bold and started gently touching her skin, but she mentioned that her Sir said he didn’t want anyone touching her that night without his permission. I respected that of course and figured that perhaps some other time…. (Yes, I felt too shy to go ask her Dom. I mean, the guy’s a Dom, lil’ ol’ me can be intimidated even though he’s always been nice.)

MasterDoc told me a little later that he had spoken to Sir M a while ago and asked permission for me to hook up with Sofija. (!) And I was interested enough and forward enough tell her this straight out next opportunity I got. She wanted to ask her Sir to confirm and I agreed wholeheartedly, saying I didn’t know if the permission applied that night or not. She apparently got in trouble for something when she went over to him, and she was busy watching her sisters the rest of the evening. (I don’t get the sense that she got in trouble over me. She wrote me an email the next day saying she hopes she gets to spend more time with me in the future. *happy dance*)

There were some hot scenes going on. While DeeDee recovered from her sybian ride (I helped by massaging her ass and inner thighs while she came.) I asked permission to wander off and I got to see one couple doing fire play. It was fascinating. Right next to them there was a suspension going on – something I’ve never experienced either. Sir M was giving a flogging to a lass who wiggled so sexily. I saw her later with another Dom and he flogged her front while she writhed sexily again. I made a point of telling her how hot it was to watch her on the way out. She looked like an average woman, someone who would not necessarily be aware of her allure. (She looked like a nice Jewish girl. Not someone you’d assume to be a perv. You know, like most of us pervs – normal-looking!) She seemed really appreciative that I mentioned she was hot to watch.

I enjoyed watching some fem Dommes – especially with masculine male subs. Sissy male subs don’t do it for me. (Nothing wrong with others’ kinks, it’s just one that doesn’t do it for me. The adult baby there didn’t do it for me either. But I have gradually come to see that some age play can be fun. I don’t feel the need to regress to infancy myself.) I thought about how men are expected to be dominant sexually in our culture and the relief a submissive man must feel when he hooks up with a dominant woman for the first time. He can be himself. He doesn’t have to be in charge. It’s a wonderful thing that kinksters can find each other and bring so much pleasure. Other parties I’ve been to have often been male Dom/female sub heavy, but this party had many fem Dommes, sub men, switchy people. We saw two guys play – something you don’t see often. Even hopelessly straight MasterDoc thought it was cool that a male couple would feel comfortable enough to play. He may not be turned on by it, but he’s supportive of people enjoying the sexuality that turns them on.

A Week in the Life of Nadia

Published on June 16, 2010 in bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, caning, D/s, DeeDee, depression, electrosex/tens unit, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, pillow princess, poly, restraints, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I’m so behind on blogging! I’ve had a very busy week or so and it doesn’t seem to be letting up any time soon. This seems to be a new trend – insane busy-ness. As a result you will get a mish-mosh of things I got up to over the past several days.

MasterDoc recently bought (yes, we sometimes buy sex toys and not just enjoy the ones I get to review) some Zeus electrosex attachments from Extreme Restraints – the nipple “clamps” to target my poor sensitive nipples and the small torpedo plug to torment my ass. The plug didn’t get used although he did use the larger one we’ve had for a while in my vagina. We discovered however, that for me the electrosex isn’t so good for foreplay, but it’s divine once I’m aroused. The large torpedo in my cunt was uncomfortable because it’s so rigid and I wasn’t yet warmed up. The nipple clamps don’t particularly clamp, but they do zap your nipples. But worse than that, he thought to put them on my outer labia. That fucking hurt. Then he tried them on my inner labia. I think he needs to gag me if he ever plans on putting that toy near my cunt again. I screamed. He threatened to put it on my clit but thankfully he showed some mercy.

After all the torment (and yes, as much as I enjoy some pain it was indeed torment) he fucked me from behind. This was my present for being so patient with the electrosex. The fucking was really hot, and not at all painful like the electro gear. I was allowed to use the magic wand, which I love but it’s hard to hold up after a while (especially if you’re busy holding yourself up with your other arm).

I held out as long as I could but I had to beg to be allowed to come. I came and unfortunately my cunt pushed his cock out. But, ever the soul of ingenuity, he used a glass dildo on me for a while and kept me coming. Then he put his cock back in a few times. Alternating between the dildo and his cock was wonderful, but I certainly hope doing Kegels these days will help control the intense squeezing and ejection my cunt likes to do during orgasm. I squirted all over my hand, the bed and the floor. I was exhausted and sweaty after.

Somewhere in the past few days was some really hot sex – that I’ve now forgotten the details of. Yes, I know I’m quite fortunate to have enough fantastic sex that I can afford to forget some of it. I seem to remember prostate massage for MasterDoc. And fucking. Oh and I started sinking into depression on afternoon so MasterDoc caned me. Rather hard. I nearly didn’t make it through all 10 strokes! But my mood sure improved after that.

Another day, I was bound, face down over the hump of the Liberator scoop and made to come. Yay! Bondage! He held the magic wand to my clit and let me hump it while my legs and wrists were attached to the scoop by cuffs. He left me bound there for a while while he went off to play with DeeDee. I was wiped out, but after a bit I became distracted by Forrest Gump playing on the television. Yes, I held my head up uncomfortably and got into the movie. I rather suspect MasterDoc was doing wonderful nasty things to DeeDee. He came out and released me after a bit, and I rested on the couch as I ended up dizzy and nauseous for a while – I guess having my bodacious boobs smashed against the scoop might have compressed my chest a bit too much.

During another interlude, he made DeeDee come while I got toys together. (And drove myself nearly crazy because I hadn’t been good and put my Lelo Gigi away last time – so I had to search high and low for it while listening to DeeDee come in the next room.) But I got my moment when MasterDoc langorously played with my cunt with his fingers, and he made me come with his hands. After recovering, DeeDee blew him while I kissed him and played with his chest. He asked for a condom and I put one on, then he surprised us a little by asking DeeDee if she wanted to get on for a ride. While she fucked him I played with his inner thighs and really added to the experience for him. It is so much fun to watch them while being participatory. My pillow princess days are over – I get really into making other people feel good.

After a break MasterDoc decided to fuck me too. Whoo hoo! He fucked me from behind on the mat in the living room. DeeDee played with his ass while he fucked me. I was so turned on that I thought I might come without permission but I could tell he was near coming. Despite my intense arousal I wanted him to come from fucking me – it doesn’t happen often – or at least have a chance to. Eventually he realized he wasn’t going to quite get there, so he told me to come. I did, muscles clamping down, squirting a whole lot over my hand holding the Gigi. I was an exhausted and happy camper. He went later to fuck DeeDee in her room while I got ready for bed.

So, uh, just a typical week in the life of Nadia.

Kinky Foursome

Published on June 6, 2010 in bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, caning, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, dom, fantasy, foursome, kink, non-monogamy, restraints, sex, sex toys, sexuality, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, swinging, sybian and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

So our new friend – I didn’t get into the blog thing much so I have no idea what alias she’d like – and I prefer giving people the choice of their blog name. So I think I’ll still refer to her as “new friend” until (if) I can suss out what she wants to be called here.

She wrote a sexy, smart, fun ad on craigslist looking for a couple to Dominate her. She sent MasterDoc a picture – and is really cute. And while I so often feed on other people’s insecurities, I didn’t get the feeling from her that she had any issue with what she was doing there with us – and it was easier for me to join in than it usually is. (MasterDoc indicated that on the surface it didn’t look too different, but I really felt a difference in my comfort level.) Also, I worry that cute, young, thin people will look at me, or MasterDoc or DeeDee, and think one or more of us is too old, fat, unattractive, etc. I not only sell myself short, I sell my loved ones short too. (Horrible isn’t it? I mean, if I find them to be fucking hot why don’t I believe others will too?? Again, I buy too into the narrative that says you have to be young, thin, beautiful to be sexy. Dammit Nadia, stop that!)

I actually agreed, pretty easily too, to wear the maid costume yesterday. It seemed like it would fit the situation and indeed it did. DeeDee was in Domme mode and had on a fabulous outfit. (A red and black mesh fishtail sort of skirt and her black corset. Nice!) While there were times when it felt like we were playacting, I think that’s really what we wanted – to fulfill our fantasies. To not be totally “ourselves” the whole time. We clicked well on an “ourselves” level, but we also had great fun indulging our perversions.

As I said earlier, with this woman somehow I picked up that she was keen to fuck and be kinky like I so often am. I didn’t have doubts about her desires like I do around so many women. MasterDoc and DeeDee said they had a hard time reading her and seeing her get aroused initially, but I picked up on the subtle changes in her breathing or reactions. (MasterDoc is usually the master at this, but I guess I just clicked with her in that way a little more.)

MasterDoc got her on the bed and spanked her for a bit. He caned her a little too, something she hadn’t experienced before, and he of course kept it to a minimum. (She also mentioned that her non-kinky boyfriend wouldn’t like seeing her really marked up. He doesn’t get the sense of it being sexy like us kinky freaks do.) At some point he ended up spanking DeeDee and making her come.

We had put the underbed restraints on the bed before she got there, and MasterDoc had me help put her in the restraints. This makes me think back to the first time I played with MasterDoc alone, and I ended up restrained on his living room floor thinking, “Gee, I hope my impressions of him being safe are spot on, or I could be in deep shit!” Thankfully they were spot on, and maybe my presence and the trust I so clearly have for him can help convey this level of safety to other women who come play.

The details of this interlude are fuzzy like intense sexual experiences often are. I know that I used the gigi vibe on her body – teasing her breasts, belly, and pussy. I allowed myself to get into enjoying playing with her, and as a result this was probably far hotter for her than me being shy would have been. I can’t recall if we made her come with the toys just then – or after a short break. MasterDoc left her bound in the bedroom for a few minutes and spoke to DeeDee and I out in the living room. Then he and I went back in.

I went down on her, and I think I’m finally getting over my stupid hangups about giving oral sex to women. It’s so sad that I haven’t let myself enjoy it because I’ve been fed the notion that women’s genitals are “smelly” or “dirty” my whole life. Fuck that. Eating pussy can be really fun and hot.

Perhaps this is when we took over really working her body over – MasterDoc lubed up the gigi and put it inside. I used the magic wand on her clit. We took turns pounding her with our fingers (not an easy thing to do, but she reacted the most to that). Ultimately we made her come as she lay tied down on the bed.

I was feeling patient and secure for once – while I was horny and wanted orgasms I was truly able to trust that MasterDoc would see to me sooner or later. I immersed myself in enjoying the hot perversity going on around me, and didn’t require the focus to be on me.

I teased MasterDoc at one point and he decided to cane me. Once his attention turned to me, he realized that I hadn’t come yet, and before putting our guest on the sybian, he gave me a ride. Yummy! The unyearned for orgasms are sometimes the best – the surprise satisfaction you’re given while you’re being patient and not self-centered. I squirted like a fountain, came violently, and I’m sure impressed our guest. I had to lay down after, and DeeDee was so very kind to clean up for me.

I felt fucking great. It was time to get our guest on the sybian. MasterDoc gave her a ride while DeeDee spanked her (though MasterDoc didn’t think it was hard enough) and pressed against her. (I forgot to mention that DeeDee did the same to me – it was really hot but nearly anything could have been done to me at that point and I would have found it hot.) It took a while, but she came hard and came away from the experience agreeing that the sybian is fucking awesome. She even squirted for the first time!

She and I hung out chatting while DeeDee and MasterDoc ended up in the bedroom again. We could hear DeeDee coming, and while I’m usually an insatiable slut at that point in time I was ready to hang out and chat. That’s the type of friend with benefits I want – one I can hang out with and have intelligent conversation with – not just fucking.

Our new friend had to get going, so we said our goodbyes. I let her know that I hoped she comes back. We’ll see what comes of it. Although MasterDoc is concerned we focused too much on her pleasure and not enough on her use.

A little later, I was still sooooo horny. And this week I’ve only just come to realize that I repress a certain percentage of my horniness because once MasterDoc is done having sex, I figure I should be happy with what he gives me. But this isn’t the smartest move as I’ve started feeling resentful that a man with three girlfriends isn’t giving me as much sex and play as I’d like. It’s truly okay that he sees other women and has fun with them, but my sexual needs aren’t being met 100% – despite sex with MasterDoc being the best fucking sex I have ever had in my life. I’d be thrilled to have even more sex with him, but since he is so very poly, I realize that I need to find another person to help finish meeting my sexual needs. It’s definitely not that MasterDoc is inadequate – I repressed so much because I love him and last thing I want him to feel is inadequate. But like him, I like fucking a variety of people. Plus I’m in my late 30′s and like most women my age I’m phenomenally horny. When he was younger he did some weekends of just fucking, eating, sleeping, repeat, but I don’t think it’s where he is in his life just now. But it’s where I am. And I’ve realized I should find that – the wonderfulness of being poly is that I don’t HAVE to rely on MasterDoc to meet every single little need or desire I have.

So we had a little libido dissonance – MasterDoc was ready to relax after having a whole long sexual interlude. This was not unreasonable. But I was still insanely horny. I still crave a lot more involved and creative sex than he’s been up for lately. (I’m dying for bondage. I seriously need someone to make me feel helpless and come. I was craving intoxication play last night – anything to make me feel helpless. That’s one of my many kinks – feeling helpless and having someone fuck me in that state (when it’s consensual) makes me really, really hot. I want someone to do a big elaborate scene Domming me. I crave this. I don’t crave another D/s relationship – I crave a playpartner. I’m happy with MasterDoc as my Dom. But I want to be doing more.

He likes to make sure I’m satisfied, so he did eventually get in the mood and he fucked me. I loved it. I went to bed so very happy.

(I had a lot of struggle with whether he was doing it just to make me happy. I never want a partner to have sex with me solely because I want it – I’d rather be horny and frustrated than feeling like I pressured someone into something. He had to convince me he WANTED sex too. He just wasn’t starting from the same horny spot I was in.)