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Fantasy is My Reality

Published on November 30, 2010 in analingus, attraction, bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, englishman, fantasy, horny, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sadism, sex, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

I’ve lucked out and had fabulous sex the past two nights. I suppose it’s not luck, it’s the smart choice of being with MasterDoc. We seem so bonded now that we can just lean our heads together and soon we’re both twitching a little with arousal. Playing with his chest can be just as effective as licking his groin.

Last night we tried a good deal of deep throating. I actually managed to relax my throat for much longer periods than I have before. As I’m blowing him, I keep going til he’s deep in my throat. I love the noises he makes when I do that. It’s actually good that I gag a little because then the saliva starts flowing and I can give a good, wet, sloppy blow job. I only had a little trouble when we tried it with my head leaning over the bed. Still, I was willing to keep trying! (Yeah, you can call me Ms. Choksondik a la South Park.)

He also continued pushing my limits of orgasm control. Damn if I didn’t worry I was going to give in and come without permission! As he fucks me and I balance just below the peak of my arousal, I get more turned on thinking that I’m his cunt and he can fuck me for as long as he wants while I desperately moan and whimper, desperate for orgasm. I’m glad he didn’t give in to my whimpers (he’s a very generous Dom where orgasms are concerned) but pushed me. I was determined not to let him down and come un-ordered. (Granted, he has told me that since he’s pushing me, it’s not the end of the world if I slip and come – ONLY if it’s a genuine slip though. Goodness knows he can spot me lying a mile away.) When he did let me come, the throe ended up covered in squirty puddles. I don’t really mind laying on the wet throe. I guess it’s the hotness of knowing that dampness is my come. If it gave off an odor I may not be so keen on my come, but since it’s virtually odorless and evaporates easily I’m perfectly happy to get a little wet.

The night before, I had one of those, “I’m SUCH a pervert” moments while we watched more delightful porn from TheUpperFloor.com. I got turned on by Cherry Torn’s look of pain and later, the tears that ran down her face, while she tended to one guy’s cock and the other whipped her back with a dragon’s tail. I wanted to be that girl, although I’m not sure I can handle that pain. Also as I watched kink.com head honcho Peter Ackworth in a scene I realized that I have the hots for him. It’s an old turn-on for me – pasty English guys. Seriously, I love English, Scottish and Irish men. I’ve had all but Scottish at this point. (Um, any Scots in NYC out there?) I suppose I should throw in Welsh just to cover ALL of the UK and Ireland.

Another, newer turn on was the depersonalization of one of the slaves in the video wearing a hood. I’ve long had anxiety about hoods as I can freak out from difficulty breathing – I’ve had some severe asthma attacks in my time. But the holes in the hood looked adequate for breathing, and it was kinda hot to deprive her a bit of her senses while turning her into an object. (Yes, some feminists like women as sex objects! I think it should be done consensually, unlike most objectification of women in our culture. Therein lies the problem.)

I felt like MasterDoc had complete control over me. If he wants to make me come, he can. If he wants to keep me coming, he can. If he wants me to cool down he can do it as well. It was really fucking hot. The slightest touch and I’m jelly.

We’ve fucked in many positions the past couple of days. Doggy, missionary, me on top. The basic three. The serviceable three. The ones that work so we all keep coming back to them.

I’ve been working extra hard to be a good submissive this week. I’ve done lots of household chores without being asked. When he’s asked for me to do something I react right away and get it done – no moaning. It’s not been perfect but I’ve been doing well. Proof of that is when I licked his ass without complaint or making a face AND I tried hard to do it right. I tried pushing my tongue into his hole. I tried sucking a bit. Anything he’s taught me he likes, I tried. I managed to push my sense of gross-out to the side and I could appreciate the act as service and giving him pleasure.

I helped him come that night with caresses and playing with his ass, kneading the flesh with my hands. I felt like talking about hot things I’d like him to do to me, or I was fantasizing about at the time. But my usual hesitance kept me thinking, “What if?” What if I talk too much. What if he’s not into what I’m describing. Would it be hot and forward or inappropriate for a sub? Stupid hesitance won out as usual. Blogging about this ensures that MasterDoc will talk to me about this, particularly if he does want me spewing a dirty stream of fantasy from my mouth.

Endlessly Horny Slut

Published on November 17, 2010 in anal, analingus, bdsm, D/s, edge play, embarrassment, happy, horny, humiliation play, kink, libido, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, prostate massage, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, trust, Uncategorized and wax play. 0 Comments

I often think that time spent alone with MasterDoc in sexual situations can’t get any better. And then they do.

Early in the evening he was talking about how he canceled an “orgasm on command” demonstration he was planning at a party we’re going to Friday. I spoke up, saying that I really think it wouldn’t be a problem him making me come with just a touch and a word – even in front of an audience. He turned towards me on the sofa and said, “Oh really?” His hand caressed my face and he twined his fingers in my hair. “So you think you could come just from my command?” I was twitching a little and breathing heavy by this time and I answered, “Yes, Sir.”

“Then you can come.” The full-body cascade came over me and my left hand shot out and impotently grabbed at his nearest thigh. I was still dressed in my work clothes, and we hadn’t any foreplay whatsoever. Even as he gave me the command a small part of me doubted I could come, but I am so conditioned now that not coming wasn’t an option. Thankfully I didn’t squirt in my work pants (although many of you pervs out there would have loved reading about that!).

A phone call came in for him immediately after, and I caught my breath, stunned, while he spoke on the phone.

Later, after we had both had dinner, bathed and gotten ready for sex, I put on a video from theupperfloor.com. (Thanks again to the person who shared their password with me! Hawt stuff!) He had me plug in the HDMI cable so we could see the porn on the big screen tv. Just watching the goings on of training the house slaves got me so hot. We both loved a scene where Cherry Torn had a knife handle (dinner knife) slid up her ass, and then the magic wand was vibrated against the part sticking out. I thought to myself that it would be super hot for me to disappear to the kitchen and return with a table knife, but something in me prevented me from just doing that. I really need to be more proactive.

He had told me minutes before to get an ass toy that he could use to warm up my ass. Earlier I had pointed out it was a long time since we had anal sex, and he took that under consideration. I returned with an ass toy – silicone, sorta rippled, with a handle to press against the perineum.

With lube and toy in hand he had me get on hands and knees. I leaned against the sofa arm. He worked the toy into my ass and I was moaning before much really started. The idea of him violating my ass was just too, too hot. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on at various times, but fuck, it felt good. He teased me and my whole body tingled with excitement. Satisfied that he had heated me up, we adjourned to the bedroom with the porn.

I’ve been feeling extremely horny and slutty in recent days. I’m sure many of you are saying in disbelief, “Only in recent days?!” Since the feeling of shift I wrote about last week, I’ve felt like some blocks about doing things MasterDoc wants me to do are starting to disappear. (Not all of them sadly, but a few key ones.) On some levels, I live for pleasing him. I’m starting to fantasize about him doing things I formerly thought of as hard limits.

In the bedroom, he told me to get a toy that’s larger than the first one for preparing my ass for fucking. I used a slender, red-sparkle silicone dildo to work my ass and soon I was fucking myself with it like a bitch in heat. He really enjoyed watching this and let me come after a while.

He was ready to fuck my ass himself, and we tried to figure out the best position. Unfortunately this hesitation led to difficulties getting it in (a cock needs to be super hard for anal) so we took a break. (Note to gentlemen of a certain age: As this entry will demonstrate, you can still satisfy and drive a woman wild even if your cock isn’t cooperating. Seriously, as much as I love cock it is not the only thing that will get me off/make me happy.)

He made me come a ton of times via command and molesting my body. He decided that it would help him get hard for me to lick his ass. Normally I’d have been hesitant to get there, but that block I mentioned that seems to have moved? I didn’t really have a problem getting my tongue into his asshole as best I could. I really tried very hard to make him feel good. I’m enjoying more and more feeling like he’s in control and that makes it easier to do things I don’t like to do. By verbal command, he made me come TWICE while I licked his ass. As I started to come the first time I thought to myself, “Damn you!” because of the embarrassment of orgasming while my tongue was on his asshole.

At this point, is there anything this man can’t do to make me come?

During one of our interludes (while I tried to recover from so many orgasms), he declared that everything points to enforced exercise. Fuuuuuck! He’s decided that if I do squats I’m allowed to come when I can. He emphasized that the point wasn’t doing squats until I’m sore and exhausted, just a few until I can manage to come knowing he’s given me permission to come. I cringe at the very idea of coming from exercise. But if anyone can make me do it, he can. We shall see.

We fooled around for two hours or so, and a couple of times he kept making me come long past the point where I thought I could. In my exhaustion, I nearly begged him to stop. Nearly. I’m digging this forced orgasms thing though.

His cock cooperated towards the end of the evening, and he fucked me up the ass. I didn’t hear him give me permission to come so I rode the edge the entire time. It felt pretty damn amazing. (Note to Doms: Please give commands to come loudly and clearly, because if the sub has to ask, “What did you say, Sir?” it decreases the arousal just enough to limit the ensuing orgasm.)

More porn was watched. I fantasized about him pissing in my mouth as he went off to use the bathroom. I started masturbating before he came back. Since it seemed pretty clear we were “done” as far as getting me off, I considered my clit tickling to be masturbation and came at will. He joined me again on the bed, and a few moments later told me to come after I had already started, and I just kept coming and coming. I had squirted even before he gave me the command to come. It’s amazing how fast I can rub my clit when I’m aroused.

He wanted a prostate massage, so I worked his ass over for a while. I was really getting into it. We heard DeeDee come in during this, and MasterDoc decided to delay his orgasm. We said hello to DeeDee, heard about her date, and I voiced a need for cuddles and aftercare.

We cuddled. And just being close to him turns me on so very much. It gives me a helpless feeling, the way I get wildly aroused around him. Soon I was licking his “spot” and realizing that indeed, “spot worship” has become a fetish for me. Yes, I will admit, the middle of his hairy chest turns me on. I talked about how I would love for him to come in my mouth and then I’d play with rubbing his come all over my chest. The fantasy was so strong! It wasn’t in the cards though.

He still wanted to come so he had me help by giving him an ass massage as he jerked off. I tried my best to tune in and notice his reactions. To press firmly against his asshole and perineum in a way that would feel good. My fingers made him twitch for a while after he had shot his load. Even though I was tired by this point, my submissive nature helped me focus and enjoy making him come. Even though there were so many delicious orgasms last night, I wanted to be his endlessly horny slut. I’d certainly stop playing when he asked me to, but I aimed to be eager and ready at all times. Accomplishing this wasn’t too hard.

Is it any wonder I hesitate to try to fuck another guy? Without MasterDoc taking control how can another guy fucking me be anywhere near as hot as when I fuck MasterDoc? But if he told me to fuck a roomful of strangers it would be the hottest thing ever, and I would do it under his watchful eye. I am his slut. There is no denying that.

Weekend Update

Published on November 8, 2010 in bdsm, bisexuality, D/s, dating, horny, lesbian, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, porn, sex, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

I guess feeling burnt out can come with anything, even something that you love to do. I’m feeling like I need a break from blogging, but I’m not sure if that is what’s needed or how long I would take. I do have reviews to get done and to be honest I’d miss having an account of the things I get up to. I don’t know if I’m going to take a break, or perhaps post less often. For now the posts may be condensed and less detailed. We shall see.

This weekend I got to see Blondie. We met up in Harlem and had dinner at the world famous Sylvia’s restaurant. The food was delicious. I had fried chicken, collard greens (best ones I’ve ever had), and garlic mashed potatotes. Hardly diet food but sometimes a girl has to splurge. We were at a loss as to what to do next since it was cold and getting dark (and neither of us know what there’s to do in the neighborhood). As we were saying goodbye at the subway station, the idea for her to accompany me back to my place came up. Hooray! We took the subway and bus to my place and she told me it was fine if I wanted to watch an episode of the tv show I have out on DVD at the moment. She offered a neck rub and being a glutton for touch I took that offer. We cuddled a bit and after the show she took initiative (I’m starting to feel bad that she’s always the one to start things. Why am I such a tool?) to straddle me on the sofa and make out. Rowr. She wanted to make me come and I got the Hitachi out, but also spotted my Soraya when I got up to get the lube. She used that toy on me and made me come – I squirted which thrilled her but it wasn’t apparent how much until I moved later and we saw the huge wet spot on the throe.

She asked if I’d use the Hitachi on her and I gladly obliged. I made her scream, I made her feel good – but still I haven’t made her come. I’m trying to not get down about this since it’s not always easy for women to come, particularly with new partners. But I like making people come so it’s something I hope I get to rectify sooner rather than later. I will just have to be patient.

The following night I had time alone with MasterDoc, which was wonderful after not seeing him for nearly a week. We got naked and fooled around of course! After a warm up of cane taps on my inner thighs and cunt, he made me come just through a mental connection as usual, but thankfully then prolonged the orgasm through fingering the hell out of me. I was so horny that I was practically crawling all over him whenever I got the chance. I toyed with his “spot” on his chest and he became quite horny from that. I kept desperately wanting him to fuck me. I kept debating – would asking him to fuck me be totally hot or would he feel pressured in some way? I was relieved when he decided of his own accord to fuck me. He enjoyed some porn from theupperfloor.com of forced exercise and a slave scrubbing the floor. Yikes. The forced exercise was so painful for me to watch that I hid behind his back on the bed and cuddled up next to him. I ignored the porn while he later fucked me. But he made me come over and over – at least three prolonged times. He was exhausting me as he does lately and I love being pushed to the point where I don’t think I can keep coming because my body is giving out, but then he makes me come for a while longer anyway! He can make me aroused or come at will. He really is that good. I don’t think anyone has ever made me feel as aroused – or alive – as he has.

Fucking Back to Health

Published on November 2, 2010 in anxiety, bdsm, caning, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, emotions, kink, masochism, masturbation, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, porn, sadism, sex, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

The weekend was pretty mellow since I wasn’t feeling well. Before I came down with something, I was feeling needy Friday night. DeeDee had just come back from a few days away, so of course intellectually I realized she should get more of MasterDoc’s attention. But probably because I was starting to feel ill, I became easily cranky when I thought I was being left out. Internet porn was put up on the big, flat screen tv and MasterDoc stroked his cock and DeeDee’s pussy. I took up rubbing my own, but my discontent at what I perceived as being ignored prevented me from getting into it. Ironic thing is that as soon as I stopped, MasterDoc asked why because he had been watching me play with myself. So the feeling of being left out or disconnected to what was going on was merely my perception. But the perception is enough to make me feel like it’s real.

I had a bit of a meltdown and MasterDoc hurried me off into the playroom. He gave me a quick beating, followed by a really hard finger fucking. He made me come over and over, and I was left exhausted. He’s figured out that my anxieties over being left out or ignored can easily be fixed by making me come. I don’t need a ton of attention, once I’ve come I’m much more mellow and able to enjoy watching. He invited me to join him and DeeDee, but I was feeling like I wanted to be alone rather than part of a threesome. I went to bed early that night and woke up sick early the next morning. You know I’m sick when I don’t have the energy to even consider fucking.

The following day I had hit that point where I’m still sick, but I have just enough energy to be horny. I didn’t have energy to be much of an active participant, but MasterDoc handled that by putting clover clamps on my nipples. It hurt like crazy, but I am getting used to them. I can wear them a while without freaking out over the pain. He told me to speak up when the pain got too much. He then proceeded to fuck me silly from on top. I’d notice the pain in my clamped nipples now and then but then I’d get lost in the pleasure of being fucked and the pain would register as pleasure for a while. This reminds me of a bdsmer I dated briefly years ago. He played with my nipples on a deserted Manhattan street – twisting them for the longest time. I remember the sensation would hurt, then go slightly numb and then turn me on totally. This wasn’t just one cycle, but over and over the cycle would go while he continued twisting.

After fucking and making me come over and over, MasterDoc took the clamps off quickly to try to reduce the length of the worst pain. When you remove clover clamps they hurt even more than when you were wearing them. The blood rushes back into the compressed nipple and is agonizing. My nipples were tender for the rest of the day.

I was pretty worn out, but we still had bdsm porn playing on the laptop. I started masturbating and MasterDoc gave me the order to come, stroking his cock while watching me. I could feel liquid squirt out of my cunt and splash my hand. I left a wet spot on the throe.

He had mentioned recently that watching a woman lick/suck the pussy juice off her fingers is hot, so I made a display of licking my soaking wet fingers clean. He suggested I do that next time we do a show.

He asked if I was ready to be fucked again and despite some fatigue I was happy to get more. He fucked me from behind, hard and for what seemed like a long time. He had me tilt the laptop so he could watch the porn. Think about it guys – kinky porn right next to the shuddering form of the woman you’re fucking, who is moaning in delight and eager to come. He made me come for a long time again. I think I squirted some more. I moaned incessantly as my face pressed into the mat. I was a little sweaty and a lot tired after, but oh so happy.

I Like It Rough

Published on October 25, 2010 in bdsm, caning, D/s, horny, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

After my vacation started off fairly “MasterDoc-free,” he made up for lost time this weekend. He stayed at my place (first time I’ve had someone sleep over in the new place) and we found that sharing my full-sized bed is tough, but we can manage it.

Friday I had a hard time getting into the sexual mood. When I haven’t seen much of him for a period of time, I feel like I need to reconnect first. Any attempts at sex on Friday fizzled. But by Saturday I was in a better mood. We watched a video from kink.com’s “The Upper Floor” (many thanks to the person who shared their password with me). It got me so hot and wet! But MasterDoc decided we should exercise and get errands done first. Phooey. So I not only did yoga (when I was already sore from the day before), we also walked to the thrift store and got him some “new” pants since his old ones are too big now (yay weight loss!). By the end of the walk I was in pain – my legs from working them too much, and my shoulders from working them (downward facing dog anyone?) but also carrying around a heavy purse when we went shopping. Many varieties of pain relievers were taken Saturday night to combat my extremely sore shoulders.

As part of our errands we went back to MasterDoc’s place. DeeDee was out, so we got in some play time (I have most of my toys at his place). He flogged, spanked, caned and paddled me roughly. This was perfect because I was thinking to myself as he set up, “I want him to hurt me. I really want him to be rough.” He pushed my limits of pain and left welts on my ass that I could feel a few minutes later. (Frustratingly, the beating left nothing but one small bruise.) Watching the porn earlier had put me in a very distinct mood for pain and roughness. I love when he grabs my hair, or puts his hand at my throat. I want to be slapped across the face. I was also thinking how I love it when it feels like he’s molesting me. I like the porn from The Upper Floor because much of it was the stuff of my fantasies. Being a slave/sub being manhandled and used as your “betters” see fit. If you haven’t been exposed to that site at all, the theme is that it takes place in a bdsm household where the slaves are trained and used. The women in it are younger and in much better shape than me, I couldn’t possibly hold some of the positions they managed to hold for extended periods of time. Sometimes there’s parties and the slaves are used sexually by a variety of dominants. Fucking hot.

He made me come, partly after the caning and partly during the caning. He’s good at making me come then inflicting pain so that the pain becomes part of the pleasure. Despite my sore body it felt so good to come hard again after a few days of abstaining. (Silly of me to hold back though, I really should have made a point of masturbating.)

We headed back to my place for dinner and I hoped that wasn’t all the sex we were having. I was so horny! After dinner, we checked out more porn on The Upper Floor. We ended up on my bed, both playing with ourselves while watching. I think it’s true that men are more visually-oriented than women. While I get hot watching porn, I crave physical contact. I craved him being rough with me. I didn’t just want to watch someone else get roughed up – I wanted it too. I stopped masturbating at one point because my desire was fizzling by the minute. I reached out to stroke his chest, hoping that initiating touch would lead to me being touched. We ended up talking a little and I raised the issue of my desires with him. He lent a hand making me come and slapping my thighs. He grabbed my throat and held me firmly, but not too tight.

Since there are times when I seem to want more sex than MasterDoc does, he’s decided that if I want more after he’s made me come I should let him know I’m going to go masturbate. This way he can gauge just how much coming I crave. I took him up on this and got hold of the Hitachi a few minutes later and put the porn back on. He joined me on the bed for more hair grabbing which helped me come super hard. I squirted all over my throe and just kept the Hitachi buzzing at my clit for the longest time.

That felt good. No, great.

Sunday, we watched more porn which of course led to more fooling around. He massaged my sore shoulders for me, but spanked my ass hard in between. I tried very hard not to cry out too loud, as my apartment is small and I’m sure sound must travel into the hallway a bit. (At least enough to hear as you walk by. That’s all I’ve noticed from other apartments in my building.) He’d grab my cunt and slap and rub it roughly. The shoulder massage turned into part of the bdsm by how much it hurt when he massaged them deeply.

He had me flip over, and asked me what insertables I have around. I think I only have one of my favorite silicone dildoes at my place and I got that out. I also grabbed lube.

He realized that the dildo could be used to beat me, and he went at my clit, thighs and nipples with it. He toyed around with it at the entrance to my cunt, and then slowly slid it in. As he fucked me with it, I so wanted to come! He’d intersperse hurting me with fucking me with the dildo. He used the Hitachi on me only momentarily, then he went back to the dildo. He told me to come and jesus, I not only came over and over again, I squirted the most I’ve squirted in a while. The throe was soaked! I could feel the liquid run beneath my thighs. I lay there spent afterward.

He gave me a new assignment. I am to masturbate at least once, preferably twice, a week and report to him on it. I should send him an email with when I did it, what I was thinking about (or watching) while I did it, and what did I use (my hands, vibrator, etc.).

Aren’t all Second Dates at Swing Clubs?

Published on September 26, 2010 in attraction, bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, D/s, dating, DeeDee, kink, masochism, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, porn, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Friday night I met up with Blondie, my date from a couple of weeks ago, while out at the swing club with MasterDoc and DeeDee. Yes, I know that’s an odd thing to invite someone to on a second date, but well that’s the kind of perv I am. Sometimes I think I have no sense of how the “regular,” non-kinky world operates – or that others may or may not understand my way of doing things. Ultimately I think it’s best to be me and see how the other person reacts. I want to be with someone who can handle my lifestyle.

I’ve gradually been introduced to my date’s sexy past. On our first date she mentioned shyly having been a sex surrogate. I’m sure my completely mellow and positive reaction to that has helped move along the level of things she feels comfortable telling me. I knew about the pro-Domme work by the end of the first date, but didn’t catch the porn work until the second one. I’m sure there’s plenty of people out there who would be freaked out by these things, but personally I think they’re utterly cool and sexually very hot. While I had looked at her myspace page, I didn’t notice porn info (but when she mentioned doing porn for the first time around me she thought I probably already knew from her page). I had known she did fetish modeling though. So dribs and drabs have some out in a short space of time. I can totally understand the gradual revealing of information – I want to be open about who I am and what I like to get up to, but I worry about judgment. So I have to toss a few things out there and see how they go. If they go well I can toss a few more out there.

So far anything we’ve each thrown out there has seemed to go well. After all a pervy sex blogger has much in common with a fetish porn actress. (Oh yes, she not only did “straight” porn, she’s also done fetish. HAWT!) I woke up Saturday morning to MasterDoc and DeeDee looking up her porn online, and seeing the kinky stuff she’s done makes me feel really happy and comfortable being a perv around her. This isn’t the first time I’ve fooled around with a porn actress, but it is the first time I’m dating one I suppose.

At the same time, I don’t want her to feel like sex is the only thing I’m after. She took a break from porn so her life has been different in the past few years. As much as I love hot sex and think she and I could have a ton of fun together, I am also happy to go at her pace should it happen to be slower than mine currently. I like her. I feel there’s time for things to develop. Perhaps the most amazing thing for me is the fact that I feel reasonably confident she likes me. Usually I can’t believe the other woman is into me. I suppose my self-esteem is finally at a point where, while some nerves and fear of rejection remain, I can also sit back and say, “She acts like she likes me. And why shouldn’t she?” Having an open mind that the other person could like you helps immeasurably. I’ve probably done more self-sabotage with women by refusing to believe they could possibly like me. (Sad, I know.)

Feminist perv that I am, I don’t assume that just because she’s done kinky shit she would necessarily want to do the same right away with me. I don’t take it personally that she likes to use gloves when first sleeping with someone new. I see it as a smart safer sex precaution. It’s more precaution than I feel is necessary for my own peace of mind, but the whole point of risk assessment is deciding what level of risk works for you. I can’t decide anyone else’s level of acceptable risk.

So after that long-winded intro, I suppose I should talk about Friday night.

Blondie was delayed, so she doesn’t come into the story until a little later. I hung out at the club with MasterDoc and DeeDee. He had us take turns sucking his cock right there in the open as usual. It’s cute to see how much he loves showing off the hot sex he has on tap from TWO women. He’s not someone you’d guess that about at first glance. But his confidence is alluring. And then you see his big cock. And then you discover his incredible skill in bed. And you figure out that he’s a highly intelligent man who is also a huge pervert – AND has a sense of humor. I really didn’t stand a chance when I met him, did I?

I started getting nervous that she hadn’t shown up. I’m still in that stage where my fragile ego is convinced I’ll get rejected. Thankfully, MasterDoc took me off into the back room and did some play to get my mind off things.

We actually brought my wrist and ankle cuffs for once (we have often meant to) and he attached me to the St. Andrew’s cross with DeeDee’s assistance. I had on my bra, fishnet stockings and garter belt, but had taken off my dress – and not worn panties in the first place. He spanked me, hitting me pretty hard. I found myself in a decidedly masochistic mood. He flogged me, used the riding crop on me. He flogged my butt and my upper back. I loved the pain, I loved the sense of him being in control. The crowd that night seemed less kink-savvy than it is some nights, but I blocked the crowd out and let myself get into the flogging. He started playing with my cunt, and shortly he told me to come. Fuuuuuck. It’s hard to come while holding yourself in a standing position. Oh yeah I’m technically held up by wrist cuffs, but I can’t really place my whole weight on that. So I had this struggle of “oh god that feels good, I’m coming!” mixed with “ow, my body is getting really tired from trying to hold myself up.” I think I squirted a tiny bit but it was interrupted by needing to support myself. I prefer coming when I can just lose myself to the orgasm and not have to worry about holding myself up.

I rested a bit after, thinking that I really need to get into shape. I talked to DeeDee about her latest job prospects when MasterDoc went off to use the bathroom. The three of us were back in the socializing area when Blondie showed up. I was glad to see her. I’m trying to find the right balance of excitement over meeting someone new I like, and expressing that I like her, without seeming too intense. I don’t know yet if this will be a romance, or play partners, or what have you. And being poly and already in a stable relationship I find it much easier to relax and see where life takes me. For now, I enjoy her company, I’m hot for her and want to keep getting together. The last thing I want to seem like is that old U-Haul joke (you know, the one that goes, “What does a lesbian bring to a second date?” “A U-Haul.”).

Walking around the swing club with another woman is a very different experience than being there with a man. It was the first time I had done so, and jeezus, the men flock. That evening seemed to have more than the usual amount of clueless males, but I think it would have been bad regardless. The lack of respect by your average straight guy for something that’s going on between two women is highly irritating. She was flogging me on the cross (not attached this time, but yes I was flogged twice. Yes, I’m lucky!) and some total idiot called out “What’s that feel like?!” and then came up beside me, put his hands against the wall and stuck his butt out. Blondie had no trouble firmly but politely telling him that he’s interrupting. I had no problem turning to him and letting him know he was being rude. “Seriously, you’re being a bit of a dick right now,” I said. He scurried off. The issues seem to be that in the swing atmosphere it’s much more accepted to try to get in on the action. It’s never okay to touch without permission, or to be a dick, but aggressive men asking if they could join us is to be expected. Kinksters seem to have a much better sense of letting people do their thing and not intruding. Just because you’re playing in public doesn’t mean you want people to join in. It pissed me off that the social conditioning for men is such that they can’t envision two women just playing together. We don’t need your cock to join in guys! I love cock and I’m pretty sure Blondie does too, but we’re perfectly happy being kinky by ourselves thank you.

It’s a shame because we have to be firm and bitchy. If you’re at all polite or friendly the guy will come back again, and again, and again. But it’s not easy to always be bitchy. If a guy is cute and under the right circumstances I’d be up for fucking him then I don’t want to be so stern that I make sure he never comes back. But if I’m not up for fucking him that night I’m in for lots of badgering all evening. And by the end of the night I’m far less interested.

We talked with a cute Asian guy, but his many attempts to get our numbers, invite us out to another swing club, etc. went un-encouraged for the most part. I gave him this blog address, but wouldn’t give out phone number. After all, I know my situation as MasterDoc’s submissive and the fact that me going to a swing club with some other guy is pretty counter to our dynamic. I don’t think he or I would be happy with that situation. (I don’t rule it out, but it’s not of interest just now.) Somehow it’s different with a woman. Women aren’t so fucking pushy.

But when we managed to ignore the interruptions she gave me a lovely flogging – a bit of pain mixed with lots of the lovely softness of her rabbit fur flogger. Her flogger is of a better quality than the one I acquired recently, and it’s possible to give a good hit with it. She used the riding crop on me (including my outer limbs which MasterDoc doesn’t usually do). I needed to sit down after a while, and she suggested I lay down on the bed so she could flog my front. Rowr. This she did, she also spread my legs to slap my thighs. I think she was going a bit easy on me, which would make perfect sense playing with someone new. I hope to encourage her to go harder in the future. She straddled me and played with my tits. I stroked her legs and when she took her top down to reveal her lacy camisole, I reached up to play with her tits too. I was in a happy place!

All of us left at the same time, and at the end I had expressed interest in going with her to a women-only play party the following night. (She had mentioned it before, I had been to a few of these parties years ago.) We parted ways with the agreement to make plans the next day.

Afternoon Delight

Published on August 10, 2010 in bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dp, gang bang, horny, kink, masochism, masturbation, needle play, nipple clamps, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, pillow princess, porn, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I started getting a little blue on Sunday afternoon. I was supposed to have time alone with MasterDoc, filled with cuddles and hopefully some kinky sex. Instead I was helping him figure out how to put mp3 files on his Palm Pre. Ever astute, he picked up on my mood and asked what was wrong. I told him and he set to fixing the problem right away.

We cuddled a bit in the bedroom and I told him that I was feeling really passive. (Sometimes I just want to be teased and tormented and not taking such an active role. In the past this has gotten me called a pillow princess, but lately I’m much more active so I can get away with this now and then) This worked out because he was already planning to tie me down to the bed (via the under the bed restraints). He made sure the lines were pulled tight so my arms were spread as wide as possible. I was truly helpless. He blindfolded me.

He licked my clit for a while, something that feels divine. He teased me with a vibrator, and after inserting it to stimulate my g-spot, he licked my clit some more until he made me come (giving permission for the orgasm of course).

He left the room for a few minutes. I of course remained where I lay since I couldn’t move at all. He returned with some ice which he used on my clit. He took a phone call during this, and I was left to stifle my cries as he teased my cunt some more with the bitterly cold ice. I don’t like being cold! Applied to my pussy for too long it hurts.

He had talked about play piercing and I was nervous he’d follow through on the idea of nipple piercing. (And wouldn’t you know it, I was scared of that but my body gave me away by twitching in arousal when he spoke about it.) He felt my body, searching for the right place to put a needle or two. He came to my inner thighs and said that’s the spot. I’m freaked out as my inner thighs are incredibly sensitive. I dreaded a needle going through the flesh there. He swabbed my left inner thigh with an alcohol wipe and grabbed a hold of a chunk of flesh.

I could have sworn he was putting a needle in, and I cringed appropriately. But he had the last laugh. He had just pinched my thigh with his hand – he didn’t use a needle. But I was so psyched up into thinking “piercing” that he didn’t need to actually do it for me to feel the sensation. Pretty wild and an excellent mindfuck.

Next he put nipple clamps on and left the room. I was turned on by the fact of my utter helplessness and the fact that he can inflict pain on my body if he chooses. That’s power.

When he returned he fucked me while I was tied down. I couldn’t get my legs apart as much as usual since my ankles were cuffed to the edges of the bed, but he managed to fuck me quite well (albeit not quite as deep as usual). As I came, he choked me a little during orgasm. No real air constriction, but a firm hand at my throat. Fuck, that made it hotter. I was a happy puddle afterward. (And had a puddle of girl cum under my ass too.)

He untied my arms and gave me some aftercare. Next he had me suck his cock for a while, and I reveled in it and fantasized about dirty things like being fucked from behind with clover clamps on while gagged. I never ask for the clover clamps – they hurt like a motherfucker! While I was fantasizing about him inflicting more pain on me, he gagged me on his cock. I’m thrilled that he does that pretty often lately. We’ve both found something new we enjoy. He had me get on top of his hard cock for a ride. He teased me with a long, slow fuck. He made me come for a long, languorous time. I had to lay down to rest after, and could have easily fallen asleep.

But wait, there’s more! I told him my fantasy from earlier. He put on the clover clamps right after mentioning that I probably couldn’t handle them for the entire time he fucks me. He gave me permission to remove them if I needed. I wore them longer than one would think I could manage. I was kneeling at the end of the bed with the clamps biting into my nipples as he fucked me. I don’t know what it is, I guess it’s my masochism, or need to submit, but there’s something erotic about knowing he can hurt me – that he has the authority to make me hurt. He has the authority to fuck me while he makes me hurt. Damn that’s hot. I ended up pulling off the clamps mid orgasm. And I squirted some more on the throe. (That thing desperately needs a cleaning now.)

He got hard again and had me ride him another time. I wasn’t sure that I had the stamina at that point, but his cock feels so good it kept me going. He squeezed my boobs hard, which doesn’t feel as good as nipple pinching would. He made me come again, and a little later, again.

I was spent, but MasterDoc had yet to come. He put on some porn, and I gave him a prostate massageas he stroked his cock. He was laying on his side, which usually puts me off kilter in regards to finding his prostate, but I’ve gotten better at feeling that little “walnut” texture of the gland to find it. I was distracted by the porn myself, as the storyline of the maid who is then gang banged by the dinner guests and the butler turned me on immensely. I was just dying to be the center of a few men at that moment. I focused enough on making him feel good to get him to shoot a big load. (The throe was a complete cummy mess by this time from him and me.) Since I was thoroughly enjoying the slutty porn he told me I could continue watching and he gave me permission to make myself come. I grabbed my Gigi as my preferred masturbating hand had just been in his ass (and we don’t want a vaginal infection to result). I rubbed the vibe on my clit for just a few moments. While watching the woman get double penetrated while sucking a third guy’s cock, I made myself come hard.

I finished watching the video, and MasterDoc came back in the bedroom. He asked if I had decided not to masturbate, but I said that no, I had come already.

What an entirely amazing afternoon.

The Science Fiction T-Shirt and Squirting

Published on July 15, 2010 in anxiety, D/s, edge play, horny, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

MasterDoc and I adjourned to the bedroom. DeeDee had an important email to attend to, so she went off to handle that. MasterDoc selected the porn for a change – he does from time to time but he expects me and DeeDee to have porn selected from one of the various free porn sites ahead of time. He selected some German piss porn. Ack. It’s funny because the opening scene was innocuous enough. I joked that this is worse than porn with a storyline usually is – it was porn with a storyline in German! I had no idea what they were saying. So when the guy goes up to the woman behind the desk in the office, I was surprised (is dismayed a better word perhaps?) that he takes out his dick and starts pissing on her. She acted like it was just the hottest thing ever and I felt so grossed out. MasterDoc wants that to be me someday, but ack, I find piss play gross.

He had me use my nea to warm myself up, but whenever I looked at the porn (which included pissing in mouths – both him pissing in her mouth and the reverse) I felt distinctly turned off. He came over to sit next to me and sucked on a nipple a bit. I complained that the porn was turning me off. That I don’t get how anyone could find piss erotic. He said it has to do with the humiliation of it – but the woman in the video didn’t seem at all humiliated. She seemed happy. I ended up closing my eyes or looking away so I could become aroused as the nea buzzed on my clit.

I glanced over at the porn and saw the woman giving the guy a blow job. I watched tentatively, afraid that he would start pissing in her mouth. Indeed, he did. MasterDoc pointed out that that’s coming soon between us, and I got more squicked and anxious than usual – probably because I know his doing this to me is imminent. He suggested that I could welcome him home after his trip this week by having him piss in my mouth. (Yuck!) I’m truly freaked out by this. Yucky, yucky, yucky!

He fucked me from behind and I had the damndest time getting fully aroused as I kept having anxious thoughts about the piss play. I did manage to block it out and come at his command. The throe was in the laundry, so MasterDoc grabbed his nearby Science Fiction Museum t-shirt and put it under me as I started to squirt. It absorbed most of the squirting. He says now whenever he wears that t-shirt he will think of my pussy. I point out that this is appropriate as I bought it for him while I was in Seattle. “You should put that on the blog!” he said, “Now when people see a guy with a Science Fiction Museum t-shirt they’ll wonder, “Could that be MasterDoc?” (And as I write this, I wonder if Coy Pink will get a giggle as she was there with me when I bought that shirt.)

Next he selected porn that I like, something that we’ve watched but as usual I only saw a bit of it since I got distracted by orgasms. I loved the parts with her choking on cock. I keep hoping MasterDoc will do more of that with me. It seems lately that I want things rougher than he does, or rougher than he feels comfortable or turned on giving. I don’t know. I pressed up against him and watched the porn too. I was slid up a bit high on the bed to play with his ass, but I stroked his hair and his back. I started getting really worked up and I breathed heavily into his ear. While helping him come usually involves me being really hands on, this time I slid a hand between my legs and played with myself while rubbing my body against him and moaning in his ear. This worked – he came and shot a load all over the bed. I could have come at the same time, had he given permission, but he didn’t realize that until it was just slightly too late. We cuddled for a bit, and he went off looking for DeeDee. (She had been expected to join us, but her tummy was upset so she wasn’t in the mood.)

I lay in bed, still horny, still having gotten up to an orgasm but not completed it. I realized that I have two times per week when I can masturbate, and dammit, I decided to do that. I pulled on my nipples and slid a hand down to my cunt. I added some lube as too much friction is no fun (for me). I rubbed my clit furiously with my right hand, and then held the top of my labia apart with the other hand to get at the clit better. I teased myself a little bit, especially since I had a small hope MasterDoc would walk in on me. I made myself come, squirting a bit on the towel we had put down over my previous squirting. It was such a relief to come! I continued on a bit, then went to join DeeDee and MasterDoc in the living room.

A little later, I mentioned to MasterDoc what I did – and he said, “Wow, that’s hot! For that you get an extra round of masturbation this week while I’m gone.” Yipee!

Simultaneous Orgasm

Published on May 17, 2010 in anxiety, D/s, DeeDee, horny, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sex, spanking and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

A busy weekend precluded me from blogging about my Friday night spent with MasterDoc until now. Going out had been the plan originally, but neither of us was feeling up for it. DeeDee had dinner with us and we hung out on the sofa for a bit. MasterDoc merely reached over at one point, stroked her pussy (as best I could see) and she came pretty much instantly. Impressive.

While MasterDoc bathed, I worked on getting porn on his laptop. I had been remiss in finding a porn clip to have handy for the next time we fooled around and I was trying to fix that by finding something while he was in the bath. He called me in for some help, and I let him know what I was doing. He told me that I should find one usual porn, and one with Ron Jeremy in it. Why (on earth) Ron Jeremy you ask? MasterDoc has been told he looks like Ron Jeremy, particularly years ago when MasterDoc had a pornstache. I have resisted this comparison for the longest time. “Ew! No! You are not like Ron Jeremy!”

I think MasterDoc is far cuter than Ron Jeremy, but yes, they are both chubby Jewish guys with big cocks born in New York in the same year. Okay, okay. There’s some similarity, as much as I hate to admit it. Particularly in general build.

DeeDee and I watched for a bit until MasterDoc came in from his bath. I might have been able to see Ron as charismatic like MasterDoc if not for the fact that the women were sooooo faking it. Before it dawned on me that they were clearly faking, I did start to wonder if, perhaps like MasterDoc, Ron Jeremy is actually a good lay.

MasterDoc and I retired to the bedroom while DeeDee went to hers. (She had had numerous orgasms in the afternoon courtesy of a gentleman friend.) Of course my anxiety closet isn’t full enough, that night I started getting anxious over how quickly DeeDee came. I started to worry that I was somehow inferior and “more work” since it took me longer to warm up and come. MasterDoc reassured me, shared a story of DeeDee having anxiety over not being like me, and I did my best to relax and trust that it’s really not anything to get upset about. He loves us both just as we are.

We watched some kinky Japanese porn I had picked out and each warmed ourselves up. (I had been hoping for some foreplay. Luckily I was pretty horny anyway.) He fucked me from behind. First he teased me with his cock around the entrance to my cunt and I kept trying to push back onto it. When he slid his cock in I let out a gasp. He fucked and teased me for a long, long time. He knows to vary the pace so he keeps me on the edge of coming. He spanked my ass from time to time. I’m aching to come when he starts sounding worked up enough to actually come himself. (MasterDoc coming during intercourse is a very rare occurrence.) So I put off asking for my orgasm for a while longer, but also feeling that much more worked up knowing he might come while his cock is inside me. I was frenzied and working so hard to not come yet, to not beg for release.

And, hallelujah, after a little more time he began to come. And then told me to come. I came extra hard knowing that he was coming too. He kept fucking me as I came. After, I was exhausted but so very happy. When he and I can come at the same time it’s a special thing.

Thankfully, he didn’t make me lick the come out of the condom. But that’s one of those icky things I’m sure he will make me do someday.

Hot Sex (and nary a penis in a vagina)

Published on March 31, 2010 in anal, D/s, happy, masturbation, orgasm on command, porn, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Sex is so much more than standard, heterosexual intercourse – even for a heterosexual coupling. MasterDoc is taking his ritalin more often these days (as prescribed, he has attention deficit disorder) and a side effect of ritalin is that it can inhibit erections. It doesn’t always, but he forewarned me that he will take it more regularly (for various reasons) and so I might not get so much penis-in-vagina sex. While I love p-i-v, there’s much more that can be fun.

I wasn’t sure what we were going to get up to on Tuesday night. I mean, I’m never really sure as it’s up to him. I put in an instead cup just in case since I had my period. Ultimately, we ended up watching porn on the laptop on the bed and masturbating at the same time. He had gotten started while I was in the shower, and he was on the verge of coming but thankfully realized how sad I would be if he was done before I even started. He held back, and I managed to catch up after a little while. (He’s good to me.)

He looked over at me playing with myself, and my eyes were closed. “Are you not interested in the porn?” he asked.

“Oh I am, it’s just that I was… concentrating on… other things…”

“Like?”

“Like how good I was making myself feel,” I said shyly. I had worked myself up playing with my clit. A short while later, he turns to me and tells me to come. Within seconds I’m orgasming hard, squirting (hoping with the vaginal contractions that I don’t push out the instead cup) and off in another world. He knows that I tend to tense up around my upper chest and shoulders during orgasm, and that soreness from that can cause me to stop coming prematurely, so as I was by his feet he used a foot to hold my chest down. And I came harder. He then threw some real Dominance in there and put his foot on my head. God, it was hot being under his foot. It’s just so symbolic of being submissive to someone.

He had me lube up my ass and face away from him on hands and knees and work a toy into my ass to prepare it for his cock. It has been a while since we’ve done anal and I was looking forward to it. Alas, I grew terribly uncomfortable in the half-squatting position I had to be in to reach back to put the toy in my ass. The anal never happened.

We ended up taking a break. I got some fruit to eat and he had an Edy’s frozen fruit bar. I finished my bowl of fresh strawberries before him and hung out on the bed. I noticed that a bit was going to drip off his ice pop onto the bed, and as I was saying, “That’s going to drip!” I threw out my hands and caught the melted bit of ice pop in my hand. We grinned at how on the ball I was and I pointed out: “That’s a 201 level sub skill – watching your Dom’s ice pop for drips then catching them with your hands.”

We laughed over this. A few minutes later he pointed out a 301 level skill he would like me to work on: when his snack is going to take longer than mine, I should think of what things I could get done around the house while he finishes. (Such as, empty out the dishwasher.) I said, “Yes, Sir” and filed it away for future use. This should go in the butler’s book DeeDee and I are starting soon.

Later, we did more of the same and again I came suddenly when he told me to – even though I was NOT on the verge of coming. He really can inspire orgasm in me much easier now than ever before. I squirted copious amounts that night. Thankfully I had put down my throe.

MasterDoc still hadn’t come after all that, and he told me to get behind him to help. I played with his ass and pressed my naked body up against him. It was such a turn on to turn him on and I really got into it. I sat up after a few minutes and worked my hands more firmly on his buttocks in that slow, firm way he likes. I grabbed some lube and lubed up his ass and my finger, and slowly worked a finger inside him. I think for the first time I identified the prostate (although he could very well dispute me on this when he reads this). I felt a bumpy spot just within finger’s reach and played with it – pressing, stroking, thinking about what I like having done to my g-spot. (Did you know that when a woman squirts it’s female prostatic fluid? Yes women have a prostate (more commonly called Skene’s gland). I learned this from an Em and Lo DVD series on Sex that I’m in the middle of reviewing.)

Whatever I was doing, it seemed to work for him and he came. I gently worked my way out of his ass, pressing along his perineum.

I was satisfied and we had both come – and no penile insertion had happened. But it was just as hot as if we fucked.