Archive for the 'porn' Category

Masturbation

Published on January 19, 2012 in cunt, kink, masturbation, porn, sex toys, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 3 Comments

I ended up with an evening alone after a few plans fell through. I decided to make myself a date with Mr. Hitachi (i.e., my Hitachi magic wand). I don’t masturbate often these days – it’s kind of a mystery why I don’t. I just find sex with a partner to be much hotter most of the time. But when everyone was out of the apartment, I took my laptop into my bedroom, lay down the throe and watched some porn on pornhub. It was a shortened sample of a Public Disgrace video. (Oh kink.com, so many times you’ve gotten me off!) I had some pretty incredible orgasms. Something I like about the magic wand is that even when the stimulation becomes almost too much, I can keep it pressed against my clit and ride it out into something even more sublime than before. I squirted a nice puddle on the throe.

I came twice and watched a bit more of the video. I realized that the down side to masturbation is no one to cuddle with afterward. I reached for my teddy bear, however, and cuddled with him. (His species is a “North American cuddlin’ bear”.) I used my other hand to keep playing with my swollen cunt and soon I put down the bear and reached for the Hitachi again. I went for another orgasm and came quickly, just as intense as before.

I felt pretty damn satisfied after. I considered my date with Mr. Hitachi to be a success. I went back to the living room, a huge grin on my face. As I walked by MasterDoc’s room I had the rather silly fantasy of going in there and rubbing my wet cunt on his things, like a cat in heat advertising its readiness. Of course I didn’t, but I have spent the past two days online with MasterDoc telling him how horny I am. I hope tonight turns out to be hot.

Trying New Things

Published on November 8, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, cunt, D/s, edge play, kink, masochism, piss play, porn, sadism, sex and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I think that maybe providing a play-by-play narrative of our sexual encounters has gotten old. (For me at least!) But there’s usually some tidbit that is interesting or something I can expound upon. Despite over four years of kinky stuff, we still find new things to do!

Last night he used Icy Hot on my pussy for the first time. I had been feeling a little left out since he tried it on other ladies months ago. I think ultimately I liked it, but certainly there were moments when my cunt felt like it was on fire. The heat and pain would fluctuate. MasterDoc got ice cubes to cool it down, but for me cold is more painful than hot. I’d rather have the fiery labia than the sharp shock of cold on them.

He started off with some on my nipples; the sensation there was minimal. He threatened to pull back the clitoral hood and slap some right on to my clit, but it was initially a fake out and he rubbed some in to my labia.

It tingles, then it flares up. He applied more a little later and I paid attention to the ever changing sensations, trying to decide if I liked it or not. At times, it felt so inflamed that I imagined my labia to be greatly swollen. I suppose the thing that made me decide I ultimately liked the sensation was when he fucked me. My pussy was extra sensitive – on the outside. MasterDoc was careful not to get more than an incidental amount of Icy Hot inside. (Thank you, Sir!)

It’s funny, because while I can say that my sensitivity was heightened, I don’t know if I could quantify my orgasms as “better than” so much as “also fabulous.” I’m so damn lucky that I can be blase about the orgasms I have. I wish all the women reading this could have the same orgasms I do. You all deserve it.

The night before he did a wee bit of breath play while getting me warmed up. I tried to go with it as he pressed his hand against my throat slowing the flow of blood to my brain. But just as things started to get fuzzy I panicked. He released my throat. He knows that I have anxiety around not being able to breathe, and while it’s intriguing to think of him having such control over me as to make me pass out, I think odds are I’ll panic whenever close.

A good Dom will understand their sub’s anxieties and work around them or work on improving them. Traumatizing me would not have a positive end result, but gradually working towards something he wants me able to handle could ultimately lead me into new experiences.

Alas, I still hate the idea of piss play. I don’t find it hot. He called me into his room yesterday to see a video that Blondie had done in her porn days which included a lot of piss. Ugh. I lucked out when the streaming video froze on his computer. I didn’t want to have to watch all 30 minutes of it.

But again, while I hate it, there is something hot about being made to do it. There’s also a lot of grossness to being made to do it! Thankfully, he doesn’t do the piss play thing often.

Review: QueerPorn.tv & NoFauxxx.com

Published on July 4, 2011 in bdsm, bisexuality, Feminism, lesbian, porn, reviews, sex and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I first heard about queerporn.tv while at one of the last In the Flesh readings here in NYC. Tina Horn was there passing out stickers with the web address and talking up the not-yet-launched site. (Note: I would gladly fuck Tina Horn. She’s a damn cute and sexy dyke. Rowr. But I was there with Blondie and thought flirting would be inappropriate. She didn’t seem particularly interested in me anyway.)

Months later, on formspring I answered a question about “Who would play you in a porn of your life?” I was at a loss to answer since so many mainstream porn actresses look nothing like me other than they’re white. After my non-answer showed up on twitter, sex educator and blogger @ShannaKatz helpfully suggested Jolene Parton (@jolenestarshine), Courtney Trouble (@courtneytrouble) or April Flores (@fatty_d). I was familiar with April, but didn’t feel she looks like me, I was less familiar with Courtney and hadn’t heard of Jolene. After Courtney saw her name tweeted, she replied and soon I got set up with a free month each for two hot queer porn sites she’s appeared on/involved with. (Jolene replied too. Nice ladies. Even though I’m far less chubby than I used to be, I think Courtney could do an excellent job being me in a porn.)

QueerPorn.tv was launched several months ago. I like how “queer porn” is so inclusive – even if they include a M/F porn video, it’s still queer because the performers are queer and don’t necessarily fit society’s ideal for gender expression, body type, or binary sexual/gender orientations, etc.

I first watched a little of Sophia St.James and Quinn Valentine. Where else are you going to see a large, voluptous, sexy, dark skinned lady with a skinny white queer boy. It was hot. I love how gloves and lube featured just like they’d be used in real life – a big deal wasn’t made, they were just used. I like how some porn sites (like the two I’m talking about today, or kink.com’s many sites) put safer sex in the film and are therefore a good role model for the sluts of the world. If you have your safer sex supplies set out before you start fucking, it’s barely a blip to take a moment to don gloves or a condom. Quinn got his ass played with and it reminded me of the reactions you can get from stroking a man’s prostate. Rowr.

I felt like I really hit gold with the video of Courtney Trouble and Scout. I watched the whole thing, hand wandering into my shorts. I like porn that features real sex, not simulated moans and orgasms. The sex between Courtney and Scout was impulsive, loaded with slaps, smiles, laughs, and orgasms. I liked that both of them enjoyed slapping and punching the other. Being in a strictly D/s situation I can forget that partners can BOTH like a little pain or roughness. The video featured everything from fingering Courtney’s juicy cunt to Courtney sucking and choking on Scout’s glitter cock. I got to see Courtney fucked with the substantial Njoy Eleven, and Scout went down on it as it was in Courtney’s cunt. There was lots of spit and mutual slapping. And Scout fucked Courtney but good with their cock a few times. (The site uses gender-neutral words for Scout, I’m trying to keep that up here out of respect for the performer.) I love a good fucking with hair pulling. You can see the trailer below.

I definitely suggest checking out QueerPorn.tv’s manifesto. It’s awesome. (As is nofauxxx.com’s mission statement.)

NoFauxxx.com is the older of the two sites, serving up quality queer porn since 2002.

There’s loads of video and photo sets here. (Found one with Audacia Ray when she was a “professional naked lady”, as I think she puts it.) I watched April Flores and Dylan Ryan in Girl Lust. It was a hot femme/femme scene with April calling up a service for a leggy brunette and Dylan showing up. I think I’ve seen Dylan Ryan in mostly non-explicitly femme roles, so seeing Dylan as a femme was different. I watched them take turns making the other come using the Njoy Eleven. This was so. fucking. hot. Dylan squirted at the end and it was cute when April held up a silver tray to catch it.

These sites make me want to do queer porn myself. You can sample NoFauxxx.com for 5 days (for $9.99) or 15 days (for $16.99). There’s a few bulk pricing options so you may want to look at that to see what length of time would suit you best. QueerPorn.tv has fewer options, probably as it’s still fairly new and picking up steam. Looks like you can expect to pay about $29.99 a month for QueerPorn.tv.

Pain, Piss and Fucking

Published on May 8, 2011 in anal, bdsm, cunnilingus, D/s, dom, edge play, embarrassment, forced orgasm, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, prostate massage, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

There was more pain when we played on Saturday than he’s given me in a while. I think for the most part I was in need of a good rough bit of play. He placed the clover clamps on my nipples. I had to breathe deeply to ride through the pain. In the past, he would have taken them off much sooner, but this time he played with them a bit. The clamps bite into the nipple despite the rubber tips on them. They leave a deep impression. I was just getting used to the pain (as much as I could anyway) when he touched them. The pain surged again. I was surprised how long he kept them on me considering the look of pain that must have been on my face pretty much the whole time. He kissed between my breasts, which put a bit of pressure on the clamps. The pain was intense.

When he removed them it hurt even worse for a moment. Next he used the clamps on my labia. I got nervous when it seemed like he was playing with my inner labia, but I didn’t think he’d put the clamps on there. He did and I screamed. It hurt so much! Thankfully he removed it, and then moved to outer labia. This was still really painful. He went down on me between the clamps and it was hard to enjoy the feel of his tongue amidst all the pain. He took the clamps off (again that intense pain when the blood rushes back) and made me come with his tongue and fingers. Of course, after the orgasm all the suffering from just moments before was forgotten.

He stood up, and I wondered what he was going to do next. He must have needed to urinate because moments later he instructed me to meet him in the bathroom, and bring my vibe. I truly don’t like when he pees on me. I dread it. I brought my siri along but didn’t want to get turned on, you know? He had me kneel in the tub (knee pads on) and started talking up what he was going to do. It is so hard to listen to. He told me to me ask for it. I struggled, made jokes and even begged him not to make me ask for it. I had gotten myself worked up with the toy on my clit by now, and so I relented and asked him to pee on me so I could come. He pissed on me and I came and I hate that I came. I felt the warm liquid run down my body and the acrid smell hit my nose. I looked away. I closed my eyes so I don’t have to see it. But I came with his piss running down my hands.

He left me to wash off, saying that he would fuck me when I got back to the bedroom. I rinsed off, then grabbed the bath pouf for a little scrub when I didn’t feel clean enough. I dried off, and grabbed a throw blanket when I got back to the bedroom as I was cold. He snuggled me for a bit while we watched porn. (More PublicDisgrace.com.) He pushed his knee into my cunt from behind me. This was hot but I couldn’t come from it. I wished he would talk dirty to me again. He did just minutes before, asking what he was going to do with “his body” (i.e., me. Swoon.). He talked about making me just a piece of meat. Fuck, I like that talk, I really do.

He fucked me from behind, making me come over and over. And over. And over. And did I mention over? I had just gone limp from coming as his cock plugged away at me. At the end of a long, satisfying fuck, he pulled out and slapped my cunt, making me squirt all over.

As I lay down to recover, he put his wet hand in my mouth and probed a bit with his squirt-soaked hands. The fingers in the mouth thing is a recent suggestion from me. It makes me feel even more like I’m his slut to do with as he wishes. He can probe into any orifice he chooses to.

We took a break. During the break, he talked about working his new favorite toy in his ass (the Duke) and fucking me from on top with it in. I worked it in slowly as he watched hot, nasty porn. I got him really hot. I loved watching his face. He asked me a one point if I’d be ok if he just came. I said yes, and while I would have enjoyed another fuck I meant it. He said, “Good but I think I’ll fuck you anyway.” I kept working the toy in his ass and it became apparent he felt too good to stop. We kept going until he came all over his belly. He was relieved to see me smiling at the end. I had come enough for the day. It was time to make him feel good.

A funny aside: as we played after I had cleaned up the piss, I kept thinking I smelled piss every so often. I figured it must have been just psychological until I realized – I focused on cleaning my body off, but his piss ran over my hands too earlier. I didn’t adequately wash my hands and they smelled like piss. Ugh. I went and washed my hands at the first suitable break in the action.

Afternoon Sex x 4

Published on May 5, 2011 in anal, bdsm, caning, D/s, dom, dp, forced orgasm, horny, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, porn, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

On my day off, I got one of those afternoons I remember having when I was 18 and dating my first boyfriend. MasterDoc and I spent the better part of the afternoon in bed. Knowing that we were going to have sex, I set up the bedroom – throe on the bed, condoms, lube and my collar out and any toys I thought we might like to use. As he bathed, I took my siri and worked my clit.

He seemed to be taking a long time in the bath, so I walked in, vibe still in hand and found him reading a book. (He often has his nose in a book. No wonder I love him.) I told him matter of factly that I was “hot, wet and ready for him.” This made him finish his bath faster.

After some distraction (He often gets sidetracked helping a friend or lover with a problem. He’s a mensch like that.) he put on some porn from PublicDisgrace.com. I loved the video of a woman being passed around at party. I’ve had fantasies like that, of being the entertainment at a party of pervs who play with my body in all sorts of ways. While we watched, I played with my vibe. He stroked himself and we soon fucked with me on hands and knees. But first, he used the anal beads on me. It took a while to work them all in. The small ones go in easily but the last couple can take some work. He took breaks to fuck me briefly, I suppose to get my body used to having both holes filled before the largest diameter beads were in. Sometimes firm toys can prove to be painful when doing double insertion, but this worked out. The last two beads felt quite large. He murmured, “That’s it just two more to go,” and I relaxed my sphincter as best I could. I could feel my ass stretch to accommodate them.

He fucked me with the beads in. He’d tug on and wiggle the beads as he fucked me. I squirted a TON. The throe was sopping wet from that time forward. As we cuddled, I folded it over so I wasn’t laying in this huge wet spot. And yes, all that squirting went hand in hand with a massive series of orgasms. He caned me a bit after. The pain melted into pleasure and I probably could have come from the caning. (I have before.)

My body was sore and tired from exercise and all the fucking the night before at the club. But you know me, I’m nearly always ready for sex. I told MasterDoc how during that long fuck I kept thinking about him fucking me up the ass. He said that he had considered that. I told him that I thought maybe I should say, “Would you like to fuck my ass, Sir?” as a way to indicate I would like to, but still leaving him in control of course. I really should have said it, but better late than never. He tried fucking my ass, but for some reason we just couldn’t get the right angle. I tried flipping over the axis, but then I found myself face down in my own squirt. And while I generally think my squirt has a pleasing, light, musky smell, being nose to liquid was too much. I flipped the shape over again. When anal wouldn’t work, he fucked my pussy again for a while and then we tried anal with us laying on our sides. (I mention these sorts of things because this shit happens to us all. Sometimes sex doesn’t work the way you want it to. You just move on and try something else.) He got his cock in but it wasn’t the ideal position. Of course even in non-ideal positions I often come like a porn star in heat. This was no exception.

Soon after, he wanted to fuck me again and I couldn’t believe my incredible luck. He kept making me come so much! Four times in an afternoon! (And my orgasms are long, extended, multiple affairs usually.) MasterDoc got on top for a fuck after I placed a towel on top of all my squirt on the throe.

This sex was transcendent. I actually managed to open my eyes a few times to look into his. I’m sure the look in my eyes was one of helpless lust. He made me come for a long time. I have no idea how long it actually was, but it was much longer than most fucks last. My body turned into jelly and I actually stopped holding up my legs at one point – somehow my joints were suddenly more flexible than usual. I couldn’t feel anything but him fucking me.

While I recovered, for sex like that requires recovery, I was near tears of happiness from having so many overwhelming orgasms. I admitted that if MasterDoc said, “I’m worth it, aren’t I?” (when I’m faced with some pesky chore around his place) over the next few days, I couldn’t give any answer but an unqualified YES. (Depending on the task and the day, I sometimes grumble a bit, although I usually admit he’s worth it.)

I think he should start giving classes. More women need to enjoy the level of sex I do.

Untitled

Published on April 11, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, prostate massage, sex, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I’ve been having a great time with MasterDoc this weekend. I’ve gotten a lot of hot sex. Both Friday and Saturday night had sexytime in them, and this even though MasterDoc wasn’t initially planning on sex on Friday.

I remember the details of Saturday more clearly (as I start writing this it’s Sunday afternoon). He grabbed at me like I was a piece of meat, reaching over to grasp a buttock with one hand and roll me onto my stomach. As a submissive, I get very hot when he seems to be using my body just as he likes. The porn we had watched the night before included a submissive telling a guy to “Please use my hole to make yourself come!” over and over. I considered speaking that a few times on Friday and Saturday nights.

He continued to grope me like I was a piece of meat, and then turned over onto his back. He told me to get over there and suck his cock, which I did. He choked me on it a few times, long enough that I wondered if I was going to pass out. While there’s a bit of fear involved in that, there’s also a great thrill. I got his cock super hard and he told me that I “suck a mean dick.”

He wanted me on my knees to fuck, and I was pleasantly rather wet already. Usually we use some lube for sex, but I started out with just enough natural lubrication for him to fuck me. He pounded me for quite a while – the difference between sex now and sex when he was heavier, not exercising regularly and not getting testosterone supplements is tremendous. The man is 18 years my senior, and lately he exhausts me! (And keep in mind the sex was pretty damn amazing from the start of our relationship.) I gripped the top of the sheets so hard with my hands. He fucked me until I couldn’t hold back and I came tons. I’ve gotten better at not pushing his cock out of my pussy during orgasm (although it does still happen sometimes) and having him shove that hard dick in my pussy while I came felt amazing. The sheet grasping continued, my elbows started to hurt. After I had come a few times without a direct order, he told me to come and I had a relatively short orgasm. I was already worn out from a few minutes worth of coming.

As we lay down after, my shoulders ached from a combination of exercise earlier in the day and the tensing of my body during orgasm after orgasm. I had to rest. He told me I need to get in better shape! (I am already in much better shape than I was before we started all this lifestyle changing so we can be healthier. But I recently started adding a weight to some arm exercises I do. For now, these exhaust my arm muscles.)

I rested for what must have been several minutes. He played with his cock and I got turned on watching. He wanted me to get on top for a fuck, but I was too tired in my muscles to manage that. (Sad but true!) I stroked his body, pressed up against him and did whatever I could to make him feel good and turned on. I spread my legs and started playing with my pussy. He smiled when he saw that. He asked again if I was sure I was too tired to fuck and I was. I pointed out that masturbating together is pretty hot too. He grabbed my hair and soon made me come again as I stroked my swollen clit. I squirted and had to roll myself towards him during orgasm to make sure I didn’t squirt on the bed (but instead made it on the throe). He talked about maybe having me massage his prostate and help him come. Then he realized that with a threesome planned for Sunday afternoon, he was better off not coming on Saturday night. (Plus I had helped him come the night before.) His cock doesn’t always want to cooperate the day after he’s come, so if he knows he has some serious debauchery coming up that abstaining from orgasm is helpful. I have to say this makes me glad to be a woman, especially one with a nearly infinite capacity for orgasm.

We lay in bed for a while. I was ready for a break from sex (with hopes of getting more later) but wasn’t sure what MasterDoc wanted. He played with my pussy a bit, and then when he stopped I played with it myself. Turns out he was ready to stop with sex but I pointed out that his playing with my cunt got me worked up. He said that he would certainly help me come again, and I got excited for a moment. Then he got up and told me he needed to pee. Fuck! He was going to let me come as he peed on me.

I grabbed a vibe and hesitantly followed him to the bathroom. He ran the water in the tub to warm up the porcelain a little. After I was on my knees in the tub, I realized I should have brought the knee pads. I dreaded him peeing on me, but I used the vibe on my clit so I’d be ready to come. As usual, I was allowed to come when I felt his piss hit my body.

As he peed, and he seems to be able to pee for a LONG time, I came and kept pushing myself for more orgasms because while coming I was distracted from the fact that he was pissing on me! I would feel deep humiliation every so often when I thought about what he was doing to me, and despite myself I thought that humiliation was hot. Still, despite the orgasms I was glad to rinse the piss off me. This time, as he left me to clean up he said he was available immediately for aftercare. I was glad he remembered.

I was so cold after the shower that I grabbed a comforter and got underneath when I made it back to the bedroom. MasterDoc cuddled me to help me warm up, and the aftercare was really helpful in bringing me down and enabling me to not feel overly bad about getting pissed on.

“I love you even though you piss on me,” I said.

“One of the many reasons I love you is because I can piss on you,” he said, smiling.

Ultimately, he had me give him a prostate massage without orgasm. Some prostatic fluid oozed its way out at the end. I hope all this massage helps keep his prostate good and healthy.

Blow Jobs and Basketball Games

Published on April 10, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, dom, forced orgasm, porn, sex, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I got a night completely alone with MasterDoc on Wednesday. DeeDee had gone away for the evening, and I was all over a night alone with him.

Unfortunately, he was all over the basketball game (Knicks fan). But I was in a decent submissive mode, and while he watched the game I showered, amused myself with games on my droid and finished cleaning the kitchen. His dishwasher is tiny so the larger pots always have to be done by hand. But it’s still wonderful to have the dishwasher take care of the plates, glasses, silverware, etc.

I had a thought to myself that my scurrying around the apartment doing stuff that amounts to taking care of him, probably made him feel all good and domly. He had me suck his cock while he watched the game, and I’m sure many men reading this are envious of that combination. I kicked off the sex by crawling out to him from the bedroom. He liked that touch.

I went and got the knee pads so I could kneel for a while, then half-time came about. We went off to the bedroom instead. He had me put my collar on, and I stood patiently by the bed while he did some stretches. He jokes that there’s now a “sex tax” on all his ladies – we have to help him stretch any time we have sex with him. After he did the ones he does by himself, I knelt on the bed and lent some pressure to his other stretches. I pointed out that he has a pretty good life, what with having a pretty lady in lingerie (I was wearing a slinky black slip) help do his stretches. “Most people do their stretches without the sexy woman,” I pointed out.

He often admits that in many ways his life is fabulous. By the end of this week he will have had sex with four different women. (But the week’s not over yet, you never know, there might be more! Finally tally: 5) And he has two around nearly all the time who take care of him in more than sexual ways.

He got up on his knees on the bed, leaned over me, and started nibbling my back. Gently at first, then a bit harder. I like when he gets on top of me, it makes me feel very submissive. (Mind you, he doesn’t put his full weight on me.) With all the regular exercise he and I have been getting, his arms are getting defined and while I don’t have muscles as a priority, I like what I see. When he’s over me, I feel like he’s very much the big, dominant male, and I’m the trapped (happily!) submissive female. (Feminist note: The words dominant and submissive are not gendered terms. Either gender can play either role!)

He climbed over me and started touching my body. He can get me so hot without putting a hand on my cunt. He grabbed my hair when he could tell I was twitching and breathing heavy, and told me to come. Fuck. I came right away, very hard and for a long time. He parted my legs and stuck a hand in, pressing against my labia and clit. This just kept me going. I love that feeling of being in some sort of orgasmic fugue where nothing else exists and I can’t stop feeling amazing. When I was exhausted, he cuddled me for a bit. Then a short while later he made me come again, very much like the first time. At this point I had two stellar orgasms and we hadn’t even fucked. Or used toys.

He went back to the game and I went back to scurrying around his place. He had me put on the knee pads and blow him. I got into it, knowing that he must love the life of a dom where he can order his woman to suck his cock while he watches the game. Bending over to reach his cock on the couch was rough on my back, so we tried him standing and me sucking, but I’m too damn tall. I still had to bend over a bit. But it was nice to have his cock in my mouth from that angle – we don’t usually do that since my bad knees preclude a lot of kneeling. He gagged me on it a bit, but mostly had me go slow.

Another position change was needed and he lay on the sofa while I sat between his legs and played with his cock. When the game was over, we watched porn on PublicDisgrace.com. He had me sit next to him and he put his arms around me. Quite a variation on romantically watching a movie. He grabbed my breasts and nipples while we watched. It all got me so hot. After a few minutes, he asked if I wanted to pause it and go fuck. Yes, Sir! He had me get on top and I thrust my cunt down on his cock as hard and fast as I could. The porn had included some intense breast slapping, and I have to admit part of me hoped that having me on top would inspire him to do some of that to me.

He didn’t but I came like crazy as usual.

More Weekend Fun

Published on January 10, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, happy, kink, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, prostate massage, sex and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

We were going to go out the following evening, but I had had a particularly taxing day at work, and MasterDoc found himself tired as well. It’s a shame because for once we were going to a party without the sybian in tow. He told me the next morning that he was going to fulfill one of my wishes by having me in sub mode all evening. Darn it.

But we stayed in that night, and it was hardly what you’d call boring. He fucked me some more after showing me a clip of some rough deep throating, complete with pigtails used as handles. Very much something that turns me on right now. I played with my cunt as we watched and he had me get on hands and knees for a fucking. I tried to watch the video, but once his cock is pounding me I have a hard time keeping my eyes open and focusing on anything else. Still, I loved hearing the soundtrack to the porn.

He fucked me silly again, and as I came his cock did battle with the muscles in my cunt – they’d push his cock out, and he’d push it back in. It felt amazing, although I do wish my cunt would stop expelling things that make me feel good! I was well nigh incoherent after. But so very happy. I had a huge grin on my face.

We played around some more with cock choking. I had a hard time with my head over edge of bed because then the saliva just pools in my throat, but it was really hot for him to violate my throat that way. I had pretty much no control over his thrusting and I liked it that way.

Unfortunately, that position made me gag too much to continue. He told me he wanted a prostate massage and I got in position. (Best position we’ve found is for him to lay on his back with me between his legs.) I felt around in his anus and found that walnut-textured swelling that’s the prostate. I did my best to milk it, drawing my finger towards the opening of his ass while pressing firmly on the gland. Judging by his facial expressions, it feels pretty damn good.

He had me stop before he came, and we took a break. As it got late he decided to sleep in the other room, and to make himself come before bed. I set him up with his laptop and a towel to come on. I enjoyed a little alone time playing The Sims 2 for a while. (I have the third one on order!)

All the reassurance and fun I’ve had this weekend has perked me up considerably. Sunday I went on a cleaning rampage – completely voluntary. It was prompted by a feeling of security and service, as well as reaching my limit of messiness and wanting to have a clean place for DeeDee to come back to. It’s a huge apartment so I left some rooms out, but the place looks considerably better after my efforts.

Random Ramblings

Published on January 2, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, consensual non-consent, D/s, dating, depression, kink, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, poly, porn, sex, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I’ve struggled with depression and loneliness (and neediness) lately. (Not that this is anything new.) I got to see MasterDoc Thursday night through Sunday morning after not seeing him for a few days. I cherish my time alone with him (although I really like hanging out with DeeDee, too). I’ve felt a bit down lately about how everyone close to me (MasterDoc, DeeDee, some friends) is truly living the poly life and having fun and relationships with a few different people. I do date Blondie as well, but she’s been away and busy over the holidays. I feel bummed about going days without intimacy or physical affection (orgasms are nice too).

I read Colette’s novel Cheri recently (and The Last of Cheri) and was intrigued with the older courtesan, Lea, having an affair with the young, vain and terribly handsome Cheri. It was the sort of relationship where she taught him the arts of the boudoir, they enjoyed each others company, but knew it was never meant to last forever. I think that’s something I’d like for myself. The man needn’t be young. Experience is more desirable to me than inexperience. I don’t want a relationship that takes a lot of time and effort. I want a companion to spend time with once a week or so. I want mutual affection but not a romance.

Of course even this sort of deal requires some effort.

I think I also feel lonely lately because the chasm between my being a frequent visitor at MasterDoc’s, but not being someone who actually lives there, seems to be opening up even more for me. It’s not easy having chores at his place (AND chores at my place) but not having a bedroom that I can really consider the one I sleep in. I’m partial to the playroom because I like the bed and the fact there’s a bedside table for me there, but as it’s the playroom I can’t just make that my space while I’m there. I have a few drawers with some things in it in that room, but I don’t really have a “place.” And if I’m not scheduled to hang out with MasterDoc I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome if I hang out. I used to feel welcome all the time in his place.

I like my apartment. I like having a place to keep just as I want it, a place to decorate as I wish. But it can be horribly lonely sometimes. I’m one of those strangest of people – an introvert who doesn’t like being alone too much. I like spending time alone with others in the house. My “time alone” happens in my head when I’m not interrupted.

But the past few days I’ve been at MasterDoc’s and I haven’t been alone. He was sick with a cold when I got there, so I felt bummed that while he saw another lady the night before (I think) and DeeDee was having very audible fun with her other gentleman, that I hadn’t had anything for days and didn’t look likely to get anything from my sick and tired Dom. I find lately that even though I’m still very horny, I crave the physical affection and touch more than anything. By the next day MasterDoc was feeling a bit better. We got some alone time and he gave me marvelous orgasms.

I’m blanking out on the details, but I know it felt good. The next morning I felt a bit sore down there – not sure why I’m feeling inflamed since I can’t recall exactly what we did (I think thrusting fingers played a part), but it’s an ok kinda sore. The following night, DeeDee went out to play with our friend S and one of her guys. We put on (at my suggestion for once) theupperfloor.com and watched a couple of videos as we had dinner and started getting things moving on the couch. He took me into the bedroom and had me get ready for his cock immediately. I got laid for the first time in days. Whoo hoo! But then my irritated vag couldn’t take it and we had to stop. MasterDoc improvised and make me come til I was exhausted by rubbing my upper labia and clit, giving the vaginal opening a break. I got to suck his cock, which I love, and I keep hoping he’ll come on my face one day.

He’s tried making me come until I pass out, but it seems like I’m more of the collapsing type. It’s something else when he pushes me and pushes me, and I think that I just can’t come any more but he keeps up the stimulation and I come again. And again. I’m helpless under his hands. He’s doing a lot of this lately.

I’ve been getting itchy to try role play. Or a scene with more formalized D/s behavior and theme. I want to be taken roughly. I want that gangbang I’ve been promised.

But I’m the submissive, and while my wants do get taken into consideration, it’s not always about me. When our friend S visited, MasterDoc got her and I cuddling on either side of him on the bed in the playroom. He told us he wanted us to both suck his cock, and he had me start. It was lots of fun to watch his face while S blew him. He was clearly feeling good, and I like when he feels good.

Solo

Published on December 2, 2010 in D/s, dom, masturbation, porn, sex toys, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I’m to report my masturbation sessions to MasterDoc. He has also recently mandated that I masturbate at least once (preferably twice) a week since I wasn’t doing much solo exploration. I’m not sure why I’m off masturbation lately. When I was a teenager without a partner I would masturbate a few times a day sometimes! I would make dates with myself to spend a long time masturbating.

Perhaps it’s because I get so much fantastic sex now that I don’t need to masturbate? I don’t know if that’s entirely true since I do get horny when I’m on my own. I’m just not usually willing to take the time to set up the scene when it’s just myself. And being a squirter, I do have to “set up” before masturbation. Throe. Lube. Vibe of some sort. Possibly porn.

Tonight I made a point of masturbation and took some time to watch porn on theupperfloor.com. I had my first orgasm, via my Siri buzzing my clit, while I watched Cherry Torn beg for orgasm. Whew. I think a part of me was glad it was her and not me. But another part reminisced about being in that situation myself and that part was triggered, so I came.

It was a lackluster orgasm. The type I generally have when I masturbate lately. It’s part of why I don’t masturbate more. It just can’t compare to an orgasm with MasterDoc.

I continued masturbating, and continued to watch the porn. A short time passed before I was able to come again. But this time – this time – I thought of MasterDoc telling me to come. Holy fuck I came hard! I squirted almost immediately (and the throe saved my couch which is why I set up before masturbation!) And I kept coming as I imagined him continuing to tell me to come. It was hot.

I’m thinking that instead of porn, I should re-read this blog when I masturbate. If I can’t be with MasterDoc, I can fully imagine I am with him, and get myself off. (Hell, you all read this blog and get yourselves off. Why shouldn’t I?)