Archive for the 'orgasm denial' Category

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Private Play

Published on March 12, 2011 in bdsm, cunt, D/s, forced orgasm, libido, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex toys, spanking, Uncategorized and wartenburg wheel. 0 Comments

After our night out, MasterDoc got busy with work and spending time with DeeDee before she went away for a few days again. Thursday evening I got him to myself, and to my delight we were both in playful moods.

Our sex isn’t always a serious, Dom/sub affair. MasterDoc has a sense of humor, a sense of silliness (as do I) and sometimes passionate touches can be followed shortly after with a silly face designed to make me laugh. While I like when he’s rough with me, I also treasure the times when he feels affectionate and sweet.

We fooled around a bit, and I played with my cunt as he watched closely. There’s something so hot about him laying at the end of the bed, perched in the perfect spot to see my spread legs and watch as I rub my cunt. His piercing gaze makes me feel so exposed. I was so horny that when he said, “I just wanna fuck,” I replied enthusiastically that that’s what I wanted as well. I wanted his cock inside me. I wanted to be fucked. I could dispense with the other trappings of bdsm for the evening.

Of course, he still spanks my ass a bit while fucking me from behind. But he fucked me so long and so hard that I couldn’t help but come – even before he gave permission. It was another in an ever-lengthening line of phenomenal sex we’ve had. I collapsed when he was done with me and was probably incoherent for the better part of a few minutes.

I was still randy, but MasterDoc had just worked a tremendous amount of hours over the past couple of days, so while I couldn’t hide my disappointment at not having more sex, I did acquiesce and try not to make a big deal out of it. The man is human and totally has a right to be too tired for extra sex after working so hard.

The next day he ensured I went home feeling content. He had plans in the evening with his playmate, so we didn’t fuck, but he made sure I came like crazy. He used the vampire gloves, the textured rubber gloves and the Wartenburg wheel on my body. I loved the sensations, but when it came time to come, I had a hard time doing it. The textured or spiked gloves can feel sensual, or they can feel uncomfortable. And since these sensations alternate, my trip to orgasm is not a straight line while playing with those toys.

But MasterDoc made sure I had some amazing orgasms before I left. He had me select a dildo for him to use on me, and he gave me the magic wand. I wasn’t allowed to turn the wand on at first, and he took to my thighs with a wooden ruler. He lubed up the dildo and slid it in to me. I was worked up by the time he let me switch the wand on (I like it on low most of the time.) As he fucked me with the dildo, and the vibrations danced on my clit, he reminded me that I had to ask permission to come. I tried teasing myself a little bit, but soon begged for orgasm. He made me hold off as I moaned in frustration. When he did let me come, it was a tremendous orgasm. I love when I lose all control while coming – I lose any sense of worrying that I may look stupid. I lose track of everything except my orgasm.

I went home feeling great.

MasterDoc and Nadia Go Out

Published on March 2, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, dom, exhibitionism, forced orgasm, horny, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, shio, spanking, squirting, stupid people, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

After a quiet week sexually (a bad cold for much of the week curbed activity), I went out to the swing club with MasterDoc last Friday. I was ragingly horny before we even headed out. I was ripe for all sorts of (consensual) sexual violation. As we got ready, I snuggled up to him and grabbed his ass.

I felt excited and proud to be his slut. I dressed in lingerie that had just come in the mail – a chemise of black lace over hot pink. The back was entirely mesh. I combined this with my over the knee boots for walking around the club. New panties – pink mesh on the back, purple nylon for the front – were taken off and put on repeatedly through the night.

MasterDoc took me into the back room by the St. Andrew’s Cross. We had brought my cuffs for use with it, but in the end they never got used. I held myself up, leaning against the cross. He spanked me a little, then got down and dirty with my cunt. As he made me come I struggled to remain standing. My hands nearly dug into the wood in an attempt to counteract my knees going weak. It was wonderful to come for the first time in a few days, but I really didn’t have the strength to stand up for it. I told MasterDoc the trouble I was having and he got me to lay down on a bed to rest.

A short while later, he made me come in front of a couple of guys who had come into the room. I was a little (ok, a lot) annoyed by these guys’ unasked pressing against me. MasterDoc shooed them back a few inches. As MasterDoc’s skilled hands did their thing he gave me permission to come. I squirted, which the guys seemed to enjoy. In the aftermath of such pleasure, I sucked MasterDoc’s cock for a while. Worked up, he had me get on all fours and he fucked me but good – making me scream as I came and he continued to pound me. It was a truly epic round of sex. I got annoyed by a couple of guys talking near me, it distracted me from my orgasms. I really wanted to tell them to shut the fuck up. Someone else came in and talked with us which was bad timing as well. I really miss how considerate kink people are about scenes than swingers. I hate when my subspace is broken by some idiot trying to chat us up at a clearly (to me anyway, to anyone with half a brain) intimate moment.

Still, that fuck was amazing. I think if I had met MasterDoc 10 years earlier I’d have had a heart attack from the sex. We recovered as the older couple who seems to ALWAYS be there started fooling around on the bed across the room. There’s definitely an interest on their side, but I’m really not into the guy (not much into the woman but the guy creeps me out somehow).

We took a break and ended up talking with a guy in the smoking area. He had seen MasterDoc at the club before with other women. (I felt pride at how my unassuming Dom is “the man” at the swing club. Guys call out, “Hi Doc!’ to him, probably in the hopes of getting in on his action.) The guy we chatted with was nice and displayed a genuine interest in kink.

Next, we took over the king-sized bed. MasterDoc spanked me and made me come, for a change my ass was towards the door rather than my face. He did this floppy hands thing he’s done various times lately. (He slaps and rubs my cunt in a very general fashion, not targeting my clit or other desirable bits.) It drives me bonkers at it makes it hard to come. I spoke to him about it afterward, and he said that he does it intentionally to make me really work for the orgasm. Argh. Frustration. But in light of our discussion, he conceded that maybe he’s done it too much lately.

I got to suck his cock some more. (I love it!) If my damn mouth and jaw didn’t get tired I could suck his cock for hours.

After another break, we set up in the exhibitionists’ room. MasterDoc handed the flashlight to the guy we spoke to earlier. He held it shining at my pussy while MasterDoc fingered me to fabulous orgasm. Damn, I’m one lucky slut.

The club was busy by the time we thought about leaving. MasterDoc was considering staying to get into the act with an attractive Asian lady who was doing four guys. I would have waited patiently for him (probably watched as well!) but he opted to take me home.

“Thank you for being with me.” “Thank you for having me, Sir.”

Published on February 21, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, caning, D/s, DeeDee, gags, happy, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I got my evening alone with MasterDoc on Tuesday. DeeDee retired to her room to get stuff done, and I ended up in the playroom sucking MasterDoc’s cock. He often tells me to take my time, but I like shoving it down my throat as soon as possible. I don’t always have enough saliva so a little choking early on gets it flowing.

Continuing in the humiliation play vein, MasterDoc told me to get my collar. He asked if I could crawl to the closet near the front door to look for the duct tape so he could gag me. I mentioned that I fit the athletic knee pads he has better now, and with them on I could handle it. Once my collar and the knee pads were on, he instructed me to crawl to DeeDee’s room first and say hello. Then I could crawl to the closet to look for duct tape. I hid my face in my hands in embarrassment and told him I couldn’t do that.

“Oh please Sir, please don’t make me do that!”

He did.

I crawled across the wood floor to DeeDee’s room and knocked from my spot on all fours. I ducked my head in when she said hello, and while embarrassed I knew she would understand. I chatted briefly with her and explained what I was doing on all fours. She said, “Sounds like you’re in for quite an evening! Enjoy!”

I crawled away and down the long hallway. I couldn’t find the duct tape with the other tools and such. I had to crawl back and let MasterDoc know. He didn’t mind and I pointed out that we had gags and bondage tape. He liked the bondage tape idea. Before he’d let me get up from the floor, he had me bark like a dog a bit. I find that while silly and embarrassing, I can do the barking without too much self-consciousness. (In private. I think in public it would be significantly more difficult.)

He had me get on all fours on the bed for the beating I was so in need of. He caned me, hard. But still, he made me come from the caning alone. Sometimes I surprise even myself with how this little masochist can manage to turn pain into pleasure.

He fucked me from behind but unfortunately as I ended up pressed forward over the axis shape the angle ended up wrong. It felt like his cock was pushing against my intestines and uterus. I couldn’t come when he gave the command – something that rarely happens, but as we’re only human it does happen sometimes.

MasterDoc decided to rectify the situation by putting bondage tape around my head, covering my mouth. Gags make me so hot. I definitely find helplessness hot. He used his hand and made me come hard. When he slaps my cunt I come. I loved feeling like his slut. I hadn’t worried when I didn’t manage to come earlier, I knew he could ensure I came. I’m so glad to have a Dom who’s not into orgasm denial. My masochism does NOT extend into going without orgasm for a long time.

The title of this post comes from when we were cuddling after. He said, “Thank you for being with me.” He’s wonderful about saying things like that. I’m not always good at hearing them. I heard him this time and replied, “Thank you for having me, Sir.”

Show Slut

Published on February 18, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, exhibitionism, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, prostate massage, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, show, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, Uncategorized and wartenburg wheel. 0 Comments

I have so much blogging to catch up on, that I figure I might as well start with the most recent thing and work my way back. I usually try to keep things in chronological order here; I love to chronicle things and knowing what happened when is important to me. Granted, in the grand scheme of things it’s probably not necessary.

This morning, MasterDoc and I did our first show together in about a year. The long gap wasn’t intentional, various possibilities have fallen through over the months, but I have to admit I’m happy to have an audience again. Our guest was a strapping young man, nice looking. This always helps because if a guy is unattractive or (and this is far worse) somehow creepy, I don’t enjoy things quite as much. Notice how I didn’t say I don’t enjoy them at all. Having the safety of MasterDoc being in charge and being the one touching me (and deciding if our guest can touch me) helps me enjoy myself even if I’m not digging the guy. And a really nice guy who’s not particularly attractive can be a delight to perform for. (Making me feel safe is truly the key. It’s great if you want to jerk off to how slutty I am. Not so great if you’re going to try to touch me without permission. Or get in any way pushy about it.)

I was wearing just a black full slip and my collar. I greeted the guest at the door and the three of us sat in the living room talking a little bit. MasterDoc took some time to caress my face, grab my hair, all those things that help put me in the right headspace for submitting. He had me suck his cock for a bit and I immersed myself in it. The past day or so I’ve gotten more pleasure out of serving than usual. Last night I was happy to spend time massaging MasterDoc to make his sore shoulder feel better. I was having an evening where just being near him made me happy.

This morning that mood continued. He had me get on all fours and crawl over to where our guest put the money for the show in an envelope (and give a bark along the way *blush*). I picked it up with my hand and he scolded me saying he wanted me to get it with my mouth. This puppy thing is really taking off. I put it in my mouth and crawled over to MasterDoc. He took the envelope and petted me. Then I was allowed to get back up again. I felt embarrassed, he seems to be doing a lot of humiliation stuff with me. I’m not entirely sure why I felt embarrassed though. As long as I’m in a situation where a submissive slut is desired, why should I feel embarrassed?

We moved into the bedroom. The playroom is set up well now, with even a couple of chairs in there (thanks DeeDee!). I already had the throe on the bed since it was practically inevitable that if I came I’d squirt. I slid deep into subspace rather easily. The morning is a bit of a blur because of this, but let’s try to piece things together, shall we?

MasterDoc spread my legs and used the cane on me. He hit my inner thighs, breasts, cunt and so on. As I was solidly in subspace the sensation was arousing rather than painful. I was thrilled to be his toy, thrilled to be on display. He demonstrated how he could do anything he wanted to me. Submission is definitely a kink for me, and with a guest over, MasterDoc behaved more brusque and forceful than usual – and I loved it. He really got into calling me a piece of meat and making me feel like I existed solely to be used for sex. This is definitely a kink I like to indulge sometimes.

He had me suck his cock, and our guest loved it when he choked me but good on it. (Yeah, yeah I loved it too.) I love how it leaves me drooling all over his cock and breathless. I imagine that my make up was messed up by this time as choking can make my eyes water. But all this was hot. I was hot. I was being a very dirty slut. And I love being a dirty slut.

MasterDoc made me come a few times, I can’t recall the exact order of things. He fucked me, making me moan in desperation to come. He let our guest play with my tits and being groped furthered my arousal. I was just on the tipping point of coming without permission when he gave me permission to come. Fuck. I came so hard. I really wish I could show you all a video of how hard I came – and for how long. I’m still physically tired from the orgasms. At one point, I squirted a TON onto the throe and our guest (and MasterDoc) seemed to love it. I love when everything about me is uninhibited and sexual. I love being treated like a piece of fuckmeat, so long as it’s consensually done with someone who doesn’t genuinely think that’s all I’m good for.

I’m proud of my intelligence, but also proud of my capacity for sexual pleasure. MasterDoc has pointed out to me many times that some women would be thrilled to have just one of my ultra-intense orgasms in her lifetime. Me, I get them on a regular basis. Having a Dom who has taken a lot of time to watch my reactions and learn what gets me going really leads to amazing sex. I’m thrilled that his taking the time to teach me exactly what he wants has led to me being able to turn him on with just my hands (and not on his cock either!).

The second fucking had me on top, and I was sure as hell going to enjoy myself. I rode his cock, and he first let the guest hold my butt cheeks apart to get a better view, but ultimately he let the guy lube up my ass and finger it. Holy fuck, being double penetrated like that felt amazing. I came and it probably resembled a hurricane or some other force of nature. (Davey used to call me a force of nature. If I want something badly enough I have been known to make things happen. But I have to want it badly enough.) MasterDoc must have been feeling generous because touching me is decidedly NOT part of the show. Often the guys don’t lay a finger on me. They are told in no uncertain terms up front that they are not to touch me. Sometimes MasterDoc feels comfortable and lets them lend a hand.

I totally collapsed after that last round of fucking and orgasm. Seriously, I lay face down on the bed, immobile for what seemed like ten minutes. I finally found the strength to get up and go rinse myself off.

When I returned, MasterDoc had been talking to our guest and he decided that I should demonstrate my prostate massage skills on our guest. I gloved up and put a huge glob of lube in my hand. This guy stood in front of me while I sat on the bed, and I slowly worked my finger inside his ass. He had never experienced this before, and I told him to please speak up if anything hurts at all (it’s not supposed to hurt). Rather than hurting it seemed like it felt great for him. I focused on pressing and stroking his prostate gland. He stroked his cock at the same time and asked if it was okay if he came on my tits. I had no problem with it, and didn’t think MasterDoc would mind either. (Heck, he might be extra proud for the extra sluttiness!)

After our guest came, all over my tits and all over the blanket, I rinsed myself off again and collapsed into bed. MasterDoc saw him out and got involved with a phone call. I waited for him to finish to get the aftercare I desperately needed. While I had a fantastic time, it was a very intense sort of scene and I felt kinda like in a state of shock after. I was cold, a little ill-feeling, but all I needed to feel good again was some food, water and cuddles. Even a fantastic scene can be draining and leave me in a needy heap. But once I’ve recovered I can enjoy the fond memories and feel good.

I need to check my ass, as that got caned well too and I may actually have some bruising for memorabilia. As I checked off the categories of this post, I remembered that the wartenburg wheel played an early part in the scene, as did the magic wand. I feel so fortunate to have such a rich sexual life that I can forget amazing things that happened. I love my sex life.

Sweet Agony

Published on February 15, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, forced orgasm, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

This post is about a week overdue. It’s about time I had to reconnect with MasterDoc. Things started off with cuddles – anyone with a skewed sense of Dominance and submission might be surprised by that, but we cuddle often. He told me to suck his cock, and I got totally hot when he gagged me on it. But before we got to the gagging, I took my time – I licked, kissed, and sucked his cock. As he looked down to where I was blowing him, he mentioned that I look hot doing that. I truly took my pleasure in it.

He grabbed at my pussy a bit while I was going down on him, but the gagging turned me on a surprising amount by itself. Still, given the chance, I lubed myself up. He watched as I rubbed the lube around my pussy, stopping to toy with my clit. He joined in with touching me and I’m sure my hips started bucking ever so slightly. Next, he knelt above me with his cock and slapped my face with it – hard. While I played with my clit, I had my mouth open, tongue reaching for his cock. I got quite worked up from this, and when he told me to come I had no problem doing it. He slapped my face as I came.

He fucked me from on top. He made me feel so, so good, but didn’t let me come. I was in sweet agony, hoping for him to give permission, and finally I couldn’t control myself and begging for orgasm slipped out of my mouth. I had to hold on longer, of course, because I’m not supposed to beg. Eventually he let me come.

We had a talk after about how begging is worse than slipping up and just coming without permission. I get overwhelmed thinking about that because I don’t think I can come without his command. Even when I masturbate, most of the time I picture him saying it when I let myself come. I’m so well trained I can’t imagine coming without it. (Unless with another partner, but even then I sometimes feel kinda naughty coming at will.) It would feel like personal failing to not get his permission before coming. I’d feel like a bad girl. But it seems that he’d find it hot. We’ll see what happens next time he pushes me. Yikes.

Finally, I helped him masturbate with prostate massage. I didn’t think my fingers were up to the task, but once he was enjoying himself from me working my finger into his ass very slowly, I didn’t want to stop until he came. I loosened up the outer muscles with my probing and sought out his prostate gland by touch. I love making him feel good! When he comes, I love to watch it. There’s so much vicarious pleasure to be had in sex.

Nadia’s Surprise

Published on February 1, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, cunt, D/s, edge play, flogging, horny, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, needle play, nipple clamps, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, poly, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, sybian, threesome and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

MasterDoc informed me on Saturday that he had a surprise planned for me on Sunday. I looked forward to it, but at the same time I was horny and wanted to fool around! I had to be patient Saturday night, but it paid off on Sunday. You see, my surprise was Blondie coming over so the two of them could top me. Rowr.

They decided amongst themselves to do a medical scene. MasterDoc got two of his white lab coats and they each put one on. They took me into the bedroom and secured me spread eagle with the under bed restraints. I giggled a lot as they spoke as if they were doctors who were going to treat me. Apparently the treatment was for the fact that I hadn’t had an orgasm since Thursday.

But before I’d get an orgasm, they played around with clamps and clothespins. When the clover clamps were removed from my labia a few minutes later I let out a scream. Blondie seems noticeably more sadistic than MasterDoc. He had warned me a long time ago that female Doms were vicious. Blondie put a clothespin on my nasal septum – ow! You should have heard me begging to have it taken off. “Ow! Ow! Please take it off! Please take it off! I can’t take it! Please take it off!” I don’t care if that makes me sound like a wimp, it hurt like a motherfucker! After a good amount of torture (including clamps strung from my nipples to my labia) MasterDoc took on the magic wand and made me come. I gushed a ton and it must have been amazing to watch. Unfortunately that meant my throe was soaking wet the rest of the evening.

Blondie took some photos of me in flagrante delicto while bound to the bed. I will post some here when she sends them to me.

They did so much to me and it was dizzying to get so much attention, stimulation and orgasms that I’m sure I’ll leave out parts unintentionally. I hope that if Blondie or MasterDoc read this and remember something I’ve forgotten, they will leave a comment or comments.

My arms were so sore from being held above me (not to mention the fact that I tend to tense up while in bondage and being tortured like that). They let me free and then had me get on hands and knees. MasterDoc inserted two needles into one butt cheek. Blondie, who has training in acupuncture, got to try doing needle play that day (she’s done it on the receiving end before, I believe.). Unfortunately, with her experience in solid, thin acupuncture needles, she inserted the hollow hypodermic needles very slowly. MasterDoc asked later how that was for me – if it was better than his technique. I had to say no. It prolonged the pain in a bad way – pain with the first puncture, the feeling of the needle dragging through the skin and then the pain as the needle came out the skin – and didn’t seem to increase the endorphin rush at all. There was caning. And MasterDoc fingering my ass. And probably another orgasm? As I said, the afternoon is a blur.

I got a brief rest, and Blondie came back in with her strap on. Rowr. She has a nice size cock. I knelt on the bed and she tried to enter me from behind while I sucked MasterDoc’s cock, which was right in front of my face. I had to scoot to the end of the bed and put my feet on the floor so she could get the right angle. It was fucking hot to be fucked at one end and sucking cock at the other. MasterDoc seemed particularly hard. I think I was allowed to come again during this – my brain cells have been scrambled by all the delicious orgasms.

Next, they changed ends and MasterDoc fucked me while I sucked on Blondie’s strap on. I squirted some more, worrying that perhaps I was splashing the carpet a bit. I kept slacking off on the strap on sucking and getting admonished by both of them to keep it up.

We stopped for dinner, which was perfect timing. I was exhausted by this time!

After dinner, I was given the pleasure (“job” didn’t seem the right word) of warming up Blondie for a ride on the sybian. I had her on the bed, fingering her cunt. MasterDoc came in and took over and I started sucking on her tits while he fingered her. The girl let out some of her usual piercing screams of pleasure. In MasterDoc’s building I worry less about neighbors being disturbed by orgasmic shouts – as long as it’s not late at night.

We moved to the living room and I sat in front of Blondie while she rode the sybian. She could lean on me and I got to be up close as she came. It was pretty damn amazing (as always) listening to the noises that are yanked out of a woman as she becomes very aroused and orgasms. MasterDoc ran the controls and it was definitely cool to hold her during the experience. I do have a better understanding now of why MasterDoc enjoys giving sybian rides so much.

As Blondie recovered, I asked if I could get a sybian ride. (Yeah, I know, greedy slut.) MasterDoc started warming me up, then Blondie sat on my other side on the couch and they both played with my body. MasterDoc excused himself to set up the sybian for the next ride and left Blondie warming me up. This was the first sybian ride in a while for me. Blondie gave me some hard caning while I got worked up on the sybian. I asked permission to come, and MasterDoc consulted with Blondie… and she said no I couldn’t yet! Argh! She really is too tough for me. *grin* She wanted me to grind and hump the machine so I gladly obliged, hoping for permission to come. It was eventually granted, and I kept coming and coming and coming. I felt exhausted, but I couldn’t stop coming as long as the stimulation was there. It was kinda hot in a way. I collapsed on the floor for a while after, dazed and content.

Double Feature

Published on January 19, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dating, horny, kink, lesbian, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I had a lot of alone time last weekend and masturbated more times than I probably had the prior month! I certainly got MasterDoc’s permission when I got to the third time in one week. I’m allowed two without asking permission. He asked me to cam with him and so he watched me masturbate on my couch from far away. It was awesome. He wasn’t on cam, but still I felt much closer after the experience with him. Towards the end of the weekend, I got to be social, not to mention sexual.

The holidays and such kept me from seeing Blondie for over a month. We were both busy. Finally, we made plans for her to come over Sunday night since I was off the next day. She arrived late; her afternoon plans took longer than she thought and then she got lost coming to my place. She came in, took off her coat and we kissed. She said, “I brought ginger,” which can strike fear into a submissive’s heart! I worried for a brief moment that she wanted to try figging, but as it followed her mentioning bringing whoopie pies, I thought it couldn’t mean that. Thankfully it turned out the ginger was the very yummy dark chocolate covered ginger from Trader Joe’s.

I was pretty tired by the time she got there, so we just watched a dvd. (Tipping the Velvet, a lesbian period piece based on the novel by Sarah Waters. OMFG Rachael Stirling is hot. Keeley Hawes and Jodhi May aren’t bad either!). Blondie crashed at my place for the first time. The next morning, we ordered breakfast in and finished the dvd. After breakfast we ended up making out standing in my kitchen. While I’m totally femme and sub I felt a little guyish because I’m noticeably taller than her and I kinda enveloped her in my arms as I bent my face downward to kiss her. What it’s like to be considerably shorter than your partner is something I know nothing about.

We fucked. She asked if I had a blindfold and what toys were around. She blindfolded me and used my Siri on my clit. She asked about plastic wrap and I told her where it was while blindfolded (and where gloves were too since they can be cut open to form a barrier for oral sex if needed). She went down on me for the first time. It felt good but the barrier can inhibit some sensation. Still, it’s not hot if you’re not meeting your partner’s safer sex needs, and safer sex is way better than no sex. She also used a glove to finger me and I came quite quickly. I can do that when not required to get permission to come. I have to admit though that in some respects I prefer prolonging it. I suppose I should just do that on my own. She kept going and I kept loving it until my g-spot became too sensitive and I had to ask her to stop probing it so firmly.

I played with her next when she suggested we put a condom on my Gigi and use it on her. The condom came in handy as handle for this too-short vibrator. She wanted it shoved in far and I would use the end of the condom to pull the toy out of her cunt. I loved seeing her labia swell and open up. She gave me lots of direction, apologizing along the way. I reminded her that I’m a submissive and I’m quite use to being told what to do and how to do it. MasterDoc has trained me to his specifications. It doesn’t faze me. I’d rather please my partner than be clueless.

I rubbed her clit with my finger, stopping to add some lube because a lubricated clit is a happy clit. She moaned a whole bunch and even let out a piercing scream. I worried that the police would be knocking on my door thinking a murder was going on. We later switched to the magic wand as she thought it would be easier for her to come. We each took turns handling either the wand on her clit or Gigi inside her while the other used the other toy. I’ve made her feel really good, shriek with pleasure, but not come yet. I have to admit this disappoints me, because giving my partner an orgasm is a wonderful feeling. But I will be patient and do my best to keep learning what works for her.

After an afternoon spent with my friend Divasub (who I hadn’t seen in way too long also), I went over to MasterDoc’s to see him for the first time in about 5 days. I don’t often go that long without seeing him but he was away all weekend. (So happy to write here that after a week of no sex, I got it twice in a day from two different lovers – awesome.) We spent time reconnecting, and MasterDoc hadn’t had sex in a few days so he was pretty horny, too.

I seem to be dealing with some vaginal dryness and occasional soreness lately – I’m blaming it on my birth control pill for the time being. Being a bit dry makes penetration hurt sometimes, and his cock felt enormous that day. (I can hear him now, “Doesn’t it always feel enormous?” Yes, yes it does.) I had already gotten wet and warmed up with my hand, but still, inside I seemed uncomfortably dry. I had to ask him to please add lube. He asked if he should ignore me like that one time he was ass fucking me and he kept going after I requested lube and I came super hard seconds later. Um, no, this was not quite the same. He applied some lube and fucked me with just the tip of his cock until I was worked up and able to take the whole thing. It was hot! He couched it in terms of teasing me. It worked, I became desperate for the whole thing and my pussy self-lubricated.

He fucked me for what seemed like forever. I was so desperate to come that I actually voiced it, “You make me want to come so badly!” I hesitated to say that, worrying that it would be taken as begging for orgasm, which I’m not permitted to do when his cock is inside me. I finally decided that no, it’s not asking it’s just stating how he was making me feel. I think he should know if he’s driving me positively wild. He would fuck me harder for a bit and make me struggle to maintain control of my orgasm. I’ve been working on enjoying the good sensations for as long as he wants to fuck me without orgasm, and I am appreciating just the sensations more although I think I’d lose it if I didn’t eventually have an orgasm at the end of a scene. It’s good that he’s gotten me less goal-oriented (and loving it) but I still love orgasms. Who doesn’t love orgasms? I came, I moaned, I squirted.

______________________

By the way, Babeland is offering 20% off Lelo products this weekend!! Ack! I LOVE Lelo. If you’ve been thinking about getting something like the Siri or Gigi (my faves), now may be the time!

Dark Fantasy

Published on January 15, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dom, edge play, exhibitionism, fantasy, gang bang, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Depression is not helpful for a fun sex life, so I haven’t done anything much with MasterDoc in a few days. (Except for a therapeutic caning Tuesday night that really did seem to lift my mood.) But I’ve been thinking naughty things and figured I’d write a little fantasy. Note: I refer to MasterDoc both as Sir and MasterDoc in this story. The rest of the characters don’t have names.

I can hear people arriving from where I lay in the bedroom. I’m playing with my cunt because Sir has told me to get it ready. I have no idea who is coming into the apartment or what will happen, but I do as I’m told.

I’m fairly close to orgasm when Sir comes in. He gives me a talk, hands on either side of my face, and tells me that I’m not to let him down. I’m to be a good little cunt and do as he says. He leads me into the living room where there’s about three men and one woman. I vaguely know one or two but not the others. I’m naked, except for my collar, leather cuffs on each wrist and ankle, and a leash hanging from the D ring on my collar. Sir leads me into the center of the room with the leash.

He takes a seat in a chair, and motions for me to sit on the floor by his feet. I do so and he starts talking. “Here’s our submissive cunt for the evening. Remember, condoms are to be used for any vaginal or anal sex. You are free to fuck her or make her go down on you as you wish, but you must clear any pain play with me first.”

I don’t know whether to be excited or scared. I’m looked at like a piece of meat laid out for a pack of hungry animals. He sends me around to each of our guests and instructs me to nuzzle their crotches through their pants. I crawl up to where each sits and do as I’m told, catching a whiff of muskiness from each crotch.

After I’ve finished this, he says, “Come back here slut. It’s time we got you warmed up.” These words make me anticipate genital stimulation, but when he grabs the canes I realize that’s not what he had in mind.

My wrist cuffs are joined together in front of me by a carabiner – something too short for me to undo myself. He swats my ass with the canes as I kneel face down, ass up. I hold still when I can handle the sensation but flinch forward when it hurts. The crowd admonishes me to say still whenever I flinch and I do my best. When my ass is quite sore, MasterDoc has me kneel on the floor and take his cock out of his pants with my bound hands. I suck him hard, and when his cock is its full size he grabs hold of my hair tightly. One of the guests says, “Oh yeah, choke her on it!’

He forces my head down so that his cock is entirely in my mouth. I can feel my throat working as I struggle not to gag. I last several seconds, and then MasterDoc pulls my head away as globs of saliva run down my chin and form a string between his cock and my mouth. He does this several times until I’m breathless and a bit lightheaded. Sometimes he slaps my face when he’s pulled it off his cock. I can feel the hands of some of our guests start to grope my body. One hand checks out my wet cunt. Another squeezes a nipple.

I am thrust back down onto the floor but this time on my back. The woman grabs hold of my cuffs and holds my hands above my head. One of the men takes a cane to my thighs and cunt when MasterDoc hands it to him. I figure this was something pre-agreed upon. Thankfully, Sir had passed him the lightest cane we have.

Still, ugly red stripes start to form on my inner thighs. When he smacks my cunt with it I think I can’t possibly handle the pain. One of the men places a strip of duct tape across my mouth so my cries won’t disturb the neighbors. MasterDoc and one of the other men holds my legs apart so I can’t get away from the cane blows.

Just as the pain makes me cry, MasterDoc signals to stop. Our guests back off, and MasterDoc holds me on the floor for a little while, telling me what a good girl I am. I cry softly, but it’s a cathartic release rather than any sadness.

Dinner delivery arrives and I wonder if the delivery person can see me naked and limp on the floor in the living room. My wrists are undone and the tape removed from my mouth so I can get up and serve dinner. I set the table, fetch drinks for our guests. They take liberties in touching me as I move around the table serving. Beforehand Sir told me I would be eating dinner on the floor. One of the men secures my wrist cuffs behind my back, and I have to eat without my hands, out of a bowl. Since leaning forward with my hands behind me would be too difficult, I am graciously allowed to have my bowl on a low stool so I don’t have to bend as far. As the guests eat and talk I’m mostly ignored, until one of them wants to comment on the mess on my face. I think to myself that there are animals with more dignity than I have right then. I eat as best I can. One of the men wipes my face with a warm, wet cloth and then pulls me by the hair until my mouth envelops his cock.

I suck and feel more hands on my body. I’m helpless as my wrists are behind me. I get pinched, poked, prodded. Someone produces a vibrator and holds it to my clit. It becomes so difficult to focus on my work on our guests’ cock that I slow down my efforts. I get my hair yanked and admonished to “Get back to work you dirty whore!” I try to focus but the vibe on my clit keeps distracting me.

My head gets moved around so I can suck all the cocks there. MasterDoc is stroking his cock and sizing me up as to what to do next.

I’m taken into the bedroom, where he lubes up my ass. My wrists are unbound so I can support myself in doggy-style. The woman takes off her clothes and lays down so my mouth is right at her crotch. I’m instructed to lick her pussy well (lest I get punished) and MasterDoc shoves his cock into my ass. He fucks me and I lick the clit and lips of this woman’s wet cunt. She moans and it seems like I’m doing a good job. MasterDoc, however, keeps varying his speed so I get terribly aroused and distracted. I’m desperate to come but I know that it won’t happen quickly tonight.

I had been asking for resistance play sometime, and I was told earlier that I would get it tonight. After a short break, for which I’m thankful, Sir slaps my face and grabs me by the hair. “Time to fight, cunt.” he tells me.

I struggle to get loose but of course our guests join in and grab various limbs. I feel myself forced onto the bed where my cuffs get secured to the underbed restraints. I struggle up until the last moment and at times I manage to slip an arm or a leg away from my tormentors. But in the end it’s useless. I’m spread eagle on the bed, terribly vulnerable. I’m gagged again, and blindfolded this time.

I feel the cool rub of alcohol swabs at various points on my body. MasterDoc gives a demonstration of play piercing to our guests. I get called all sorts of degrading names – fuck hole, pincushion, slut, cunt, bitch – while he pierces me. I get incredibly anxious when I feel him swab my outer labia – both sides. “This is gonna hurt, cunt.” he tells me. He has me breathe in deeply, and then while I’m breathing out he slides a sharp, sharp needle through one of my outer labia. We’ve done this before, but it’s still somehow shocking to have my labia pierced.

Sir strokes my body (and probably some guests do too, I’m not sure since I can’t see) to soothe me before he plants another needle in the other labia. He tugs on it a bit and I moan under my gag. A few more needles go in the skin on my chest, these are a bit hesitant so I wonder if it’s one or more of the guests doing the piercing. I can hear someone’s breath drawn in sharply. They’ve gotten a thrill from piercing me. From making me hurt. One of them says something admiringly about the tiny drop of blood that one of the piercings has brought out.

The needles are withdrawn and I can hear movements. Next thing I know, I’m being fucked by guest after guest. I’m allowed to come during this and keep orgasming too many times to count. The woman goes at me with her strap on. She’s positively vicious with pinching my nipples. The gag is taken off and a cock shoved into my mouth while my cunt is being fucked. The dual action of a cock being shoved into my throat and a cock being shoved into my cunt is overwhelming. Soon I’m gasping and drooling between cock thrusts. The lot of them make me come more than I ever thought possible while taking turns violating my body. I squirt a few times and can feel the throe beneath me soaking wet.

“You said you wanted me to be rougher with you,” says MasterDoc. He rips off the blindfold and I watch him jerk off onto throe. The guests undo my bindings, and MasterDoc shoves my face into his come and rubs me into it. As he holds my head to the puddle of come, I can feel other guys shooting their loads all over my back. I’m a totally come-covered whore. And honestly, it’s bliss.

The guys take me into the shower and MasterDoc commands me to kneel down. I’m sticky with come and they offer to rinse me off. It seems like I’m instantly surrounded and they’re all pissing on me. I cry silently from the humiliation. They all tell me what a dirty piss whore I am.

They leave me, reeking of piss and shivering in the cold tub. The last thing Sir said when he left was that I was allowed to shower. I quickly rinse the piss off my body and out of my hair. I towel off and put my cuffs and collar back on and return to the living room where everyone’s having drinks.

MasterDoc motions for me to sit on the sofa next to him and I do. He puts his solid arms around me and kisses my forehead. “You’ve been a very good slut today. I’m proud of you.” I glow with pride over having been used, abused and come through it feeling amazingly calm. Endorphins rock.

Our guests leave a short time later, all thanking me for the good time. I thank them of course and MasterDoc has me kneel on the floor and kiss everyone’s crotches goodbye.

After they’ve left, we snuggle in bed. I’m exhausted but so very happy.

Sub Drop

Published on January 11, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, D/s, orgasm denial, sex, stress, sub drop, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I had another magical evening with MasterDoc on Sunday. He fucked me from on top, and kept me desperate for orgasm for what seemed like forever. I just kept moaning, or maybe it was more like whining. I tried to communicate my desperation through sounds since I know I’m not allowed to ask for orgasm while his cock is inside me. After much teasing, he let me come. I am so damn lucky. I was in such a happy place. I felt really into sub mode last night and wanted nothing more than for him to tell me what to do.

Monday, I woke up a bit cranky. I know that MasterDoc has things he needs to do the next two weekends, so I won’t see him for days at a time. This would normally tend to make me a bit sad, but I usually focus on stuff I can get done when he’s not around and I’ve put out emails to friends (including Blondie) about hanging out.

Despite trying my usual, I felt sad. Over and over. All day. I couldn’t think of a totally legitimate reason to be unhappy but there I was. I was blaming it on hormones since I’m on the inert pills of my pill pack just now. I haven’t had a period in a while (I love these pills, let me tell you!) but I would have it around now if my body had anything to shed. But someone I know only through twitter seems to have hit the nail on the head when he told me that I was experiencing sub drop.

Indeed.

I can’t recall really experiencing it before. I’m sure I had a few times I was a bit down after having some really good or intense play, but never as all-encompassing like this. I felt like shit all day for no apparent reason – other than sub drop. I’ve started reading up about it online for tips on how to deal. Some people make themselves a special “aftercare kit.” The guy on twitter who pointed out my predicament said he leaves an undershirt he’s worn recently with his babygirl because the scent helps her. I’ve read elsewhere that some aftercare kits include a reassuring letter from the Dom. I could use one of those.

DeeDee is back in town and unwell, so of course she needs MasterDoc’s attention. But I should be able to see him tomorrow night, even if just to hang out. I could use some cuddles right about now.

In addition to sadness, I had a really hard time focusing at work. I popped a klonopin in the afternoon to help mitigate the anxiety at least. I didn’t want to bite anyone’s head off while working the reference desk. Work has been a source of stress for a while now, so I’m sure it didn’t help the whole sub drop thing. A long week of work ahead of me, and then a three-day weekend without MasterDoc surely adds to my feelings of being unmoored.

More Weekend Fun

Published on January 10, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, happy, kink, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, prostate massage, sex and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

We were going to go out the following evening, but I had had a particularly taxing day at work, and MasterDoc found himself tired as well. It’s a shame because for once we were going to a party without the sybian in tow. He told me the next morning that he was going to fulfill one of my wishes by having me in sub mode all evening. Darn it.

But we stayed in that night, and it was hardly what you’d call boring. He fucked me some more after showing me a clip of some rough deep throating, complete with pigtails used as handles. Very much something that turns me on right now. I played with my cunt as we watched and he had me get on hands and knees for a fucking. I tried to watch the video, but once his cock is pounding me I have a hard time keeping my eyes open and focusing on anything else. Still, I loved hearing the soundtrack to the porn.

He fucked me silly again, and as I came his cock did battle with the muscles in my cunt – they’d push his cock out, and he’d push it back in. It felt amazing, although I do wish my cunt would stop expelling things that make me feel good! I was well nigh incoherent after. But so very happy. I had a huge grin on my face.

We played around some more with cock choking. I had a hard time with my head over edge of bed because then the saliva just pools in my throat, but it was really hot for him to violate my throat that way. I had pretty much no control over his thrusting and I liked it that way.

Unfortunately, that position made me gag too much to continue. He told me he wanted a prostate massage and I got in position. (Best position we’ve found is for him to lay on his back with me between his legs.) I felt around in his anus and found that walnut-textured swelling that’s the prostate. I did my best to milk it, drawing my finger towards the opening of his ass while pressing firmly on the gland. Judging by his facial expressions, it feels pretty damn good.

He had me stop before he came, and we took a break. As it got late he decided to sleep in the other room, and to make himself come before bed. I set him up with his laptop and a towel to come on. I enjoyed a little alone time playing The Sims 2 for a while. (I have the third one on order!)

All the reassurance and fun I’ve had this weekend has perked me up considerably. Sunday I went on a cleaning rampage – completely voluntary. It was prompted by a feeling of security and service, as well as reaching my limit of messiness and wanting to have a clean place for DeeDee to come back to. It’s a huge apartment so I left some rooms out, but the place looks considerably better after my efforts.