Archive for the 'non-monogamy' Category

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Double Feature

Published on January 19, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dating, horny, kink, lesbian, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I had a lot of alone time last weekend and masturbated more times than I probably had the prior month! I certainly got MasterDoc’s permission when I got to the third time in one week. I’m allowed two without asking permission. He asked me to cam with him and so he watched me masturbate on my couch from far away. It was awesome. He wasn’t on cam, but still I felt much closer after the experience with him. Towards the end of the weekend, I got to be social, not to mention sexual.

The holidays and such kept me from seeing Blondie for over a month. We were both busy. Finally, we made plans for her to come over Sunday night since I was off the next day. She arrived late; her afternoon plans took longer than she thought and then she got lost coming to my place. She came in, took off her coat and we kissed. She said, “I brought ginger,” which can strike fear into a submissive’s heart! I worried for a brief moment that she wanted to try figging, but as it followed her mentioning bringing whoopie pies, I thought it couldn’t mean that. Thankfully it turned out the ginger was the very yummy dark chocolate covered ginger from Trader Joe’s.

I was pretty tired by the time she got there, so we just watched a dvd. (Tipping the Velvet, a lesbian period piece based on the novel by Sarah Waters. OMFG Rachael Stirling is hot. Keeley Hawes and Jodhi May aren’t bad either!). Blondie crashed at my place for the first time. The next morning, we ordered breakfast in and finished the dvd. After breakfast we ended up making out standing in my kitchen. While I’m totally femme and sub I felt a little guyish because I’m noticeably taller than her and I kinda enveloped her in my arms as I bent my face downward to kiss her. What it’s like to be considerably shorter than your partner is something I know nothing about.

We fucked. She asked if I had a blindfold and what toys were around. She blindfolded me and used my Siri on my clit. She asked about plastic wrap and I told her where it was while blindfolded (and where gloves were too since they can be cut open to form a barrier for oral sex if needed). She went down on me for the first time. It felt good but the barrier can inhibit some sensation. Still, it’s not hot if you’re not meeting your partner’s safer sex needs, and safer sex is way better than no sex. She also used a glove to finger me and I came quite quickly. I can do that when not required to get permission to come. I have to admit though that in some respects I prefer prolonging it. I suppose I should just do that on my own. She kept going and I kept loving it until my g-spot became too sensitive and I had to ask her to stop probing it so firmly.

I played with her next when she suggested we put a condom on my Gigi and use it on her. The condom came in handy as handle for this too-short vibrator. She wanted it shoved in far and I would use the end of the condom to pull the toy out of her cunt. I loved seeing her labia swell and open up. She gave me lots of direction, apologizing along the way. I reminded her that I’m a submissive and I’m quite use to being told what to do and how to do it. MasterDoc has trained me to his specifications. It doesn’t faze me. I’d rather please my partner than be clueless.

I rubbed her clit with my finger, stopping to add some lube because a lubricated clit is a happy clit. She moaned a whole bunch and even let out a piercing scream. I worried that the police would be knocking on my door thinking a murder was going on. We later switched to the magic wand as she thought it would be easier for her to come. We each took turns handling either the wand on her clit or Gigi inside her while the other used the other toy. I’ve made her feel really good, shriek with pleasure, but not come yet. I have to admit this disappoints me, because giving my partner an orgasm is a wonderful feeling. But I will be patient and do my best to keep learning what works for her.

After an afternoon spent with my friend Divasub (who I hadn’t seen in way too long also), I went over to MasterDoc’s to see him for the first time in about 5 days. I don’t often go that long without seeing him but he was away all weekend. (So happy to write here that after a week of no sex, I got it twice in a day from two different lovers – awesome.) We spent time reconnecting, and MasterDoc hadn’t had sex in a few days so he was pretty horny, too.

I seem to be dealing with some vaginal dryness and occasional soreness lately – I’m blaming it on my birth control pill for the time being. Being a bit dry makes penetration hurt sometimes, and his cock felt enormous that day. (I can hear him now, “Doesn’t it always feel enormous?” Yes, yes it does.) I had already gotten wet and warmed up with my hand, but still, inside I seemed uncomfortably dry. I had to ask him to please add lube. He asked if he should ignore me like that one time he was ass fucking me and he kept going after I requested lube and I came super hard seconds later. Um, no, this was not quite the same. He applied some lube and fucked me with just the tip of his cock until I was worked up and able to take the whole thing. It was hot! He couched it in terms of teasing me. It worked, I became desperate for the whole thing and my pussy self-lubricated.

He fucked me for what seemed like forever. I was so desperate to come that I actually voiced it, “You make me want to come so badly!” I hesitated to say that, worrying that it would be taken as begging for orgasm, which I’m not permitted to do when his cock is inside me. I finally decided that no, it’s not asking it’s just stating how he was making me feel. I think he should know if he’s driving me positively wild. He would fuck me harder for a bit and make me struggle to maintain control of my orgasm. I’ve been working on enjoying the good sensations for as long as he wants to fuck me without orgasm, and I am appreciating just the sensations more although I think I’d lose it if I didn’t eventually have an orgasm at the end of a scene. It’s good that he’s gotten me less goal-oriented (and loving it) but I still love orgasms. Who doesn’t love orgasms? I came, I moaned, I squirted.

______________________

By the way, Babeland is offering 20% off Lelo products this weekend!! Ack! I LOVE Lelo. If you’ve been thinking about getting something like the Siri or Gigi (my faves), now may be the time!

Random Ramblings

Published on January 2, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, consensual non-consent, D/s, dating, depression, kink, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, poly, porn, sex, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I’ve struggled with depression and loneliness (and neediness) lately. (Not that this is anything new.) I got to see MasterDoc Thursday night through Sunday morning after not seeing him for a few days. I cherish my time alone with him (although I really like hanging out with DeeDee, too). I’ve felt a bit down lately about how everyone close to me (MasterDoc, DeeDee, some friends) is truly living the poly life and having fun and relationships with a few different people. I do date Blondie as well, but she’s been away and busy over the holidays. I feel bummed about going days without intimacy or physical affection (orgasms are nice too).

I read Colette’s novel Cheri recently (and The Last of Cheri) and was intrigued with the older courtesan, Lea, having an affair with the young, vain and terribly handsome Cheri. It was the sort of relationship where she taught him the arts of the boudoir, they enjoyed each others company, but knew it was never meant to last forever. I think that’s something I’d like for myself. The man needn’t be young. Experience is more desirable to me than inexperience. I don’t want a relationship that takes a lot of time and effort. I want a companion to spend time with once a week or so. I want mutual affection but not a romance.

Of course even this sort of deal requires some effort.

I think I also feel lonely lately because the chasm between my being a frequent visitor at MasterDoc’s, but not being someone who actually lives there, seems to be opening up even more for me. It’s not easy having chores at his place (AND chores at my place) but not having a bedroom that I can really consider the one I sleep in. I’m partial to the playroom because I like the bed and the fact there’s a bedside table for me there, but as it’s the playroom I can’t just make that my space while I’m there. I have a few drawers with some things in it in that room, but I don’t really have a “place.” And if I’m not scheduled to hang out with MasterDoc I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome if I hang out. I used to feel welcome all the time in his place.

I like my apartment. I like having a place to keep just as I want it, a place to decorate as I wish. But it can be horribly lonely sometimes. I’m one of those strangest of people – an introvert who doesn’t like being alone too much. I like spending time alone with others in the house. My “time alone” happens in my head when I’m not interrupted.

But the past few days I’ve been at MasterDoc’s and I haven’t been alone. He was sick with a cold when I got there, so I felt bummed that while he saw another lady the night before (I think) and DeeDee was having very audible fun with her other gentleman, that I hadn’t had anything for days and didn’t look likely to get anything from my sick and tired Dom. I find lately that even though I’m still very horny, I crave the physical affection and touch more than anything. By the next day MasterDoc was feeling a bit better. We got some alone time and he gave me marvelous orgasms.

I’m blanking out on the details, but I know it felt good. The next morning I felt a bit sore down there – not sure why I’m feeling inflamed since I can’t recall exactly what we did (I think thrusting fingers played a part), but it’s an ok kinda sore. The following night, DeeDee went out to play with our friend S and one of her guys. We put on (at my suggestion for once) theupperfloor.com and watched a couple of videos as we had dinner and started getting things moving on the couch. He took me into the bedroom and had me get ready for his cock immediately. I got laid for the first time in days. Whoo hoo! But then my irritated vag couldn’t take it and we had to stop. MasterDoc improvised and make me come til I was exhausted by rubbing my upper labia and clit, giving the vaginal opening a break. I got to suck his cock, which I love, and I keep hoping he’ll come on my face one day.

He’s tried making me come until I pass out, but it seems like I’m more of the collapsing type. It’s something else when he pushes me and pushes me, and I think that I just can’t come any more but he keeps up the stimulation and I come again. And again. I’m helpless under his hands. He’s doing a lot of this lately.

I’ve been getting itchy to try role play. Or a scene with more formalized D/s behavior and theme. I want to be taken roughly. I want that gangbang I’ve been promised.

But I’m the submissive, and while my wants do get taken into consideration, it’s not always about me. When our friend S visited, MasterDoc got her and I cuddling on either side of him on the bed in the playroom. He told us he wanted us to both suck his cock, and he had me start. It was lots of fun to watch his face while S blew him. He was clearly feeling good, and I like when he feels good.

Super Slut

Published on December 6, 2010 in bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, D/s, DeeDee, exhibitionism, kink, non-monogamy, restraints, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

DeeDee was out for the day, helping a friend. So I got some alone time with MasterDoc. I was horny and hoping for a fucking, but I have to admit I was pretty damn happy with what I got. I just got a magic wand controller for review (a rheostat) and we tried it out for its first run. (Review to come later. ) MasterDoc delighted my bondage-loving self by securing me to the bed with the under bed restraints. He teased me for a while considering the controller gave him even more fine-tuned control over the magic wand. (But it doesn’t dial up to the highest wand setting. Totally weird.) When he first pressed the wand to my cunt, I wasn’t wet yet so it hurt sometimes. He tried to push me to coming but I wasn’t ready when he gave permission. I kinda looked at him hopelessly, as if to say I wanted to come but just couldn’t. He pressed on (literally) and before long he had me coming hard. He made me come over and over (squirting like crazy) and left me exhausted after. I was in a happy place and he let me know that it’s good I found my happy place that afternoon as DeeDee was going to be his focus at the party we were going to that night. (She had been away recently and he and I were leaving shortly for a trip together.) I negotiated with him what I could do at the party. I made the point of saying that if I had freedom to go and make my own fun, I don’t mind not being his focus. He granted me permission to fuck without immediately getting his permission before doing so. I pointed out that I would be going in a different head space than usual – instead of docile sub looking to him for all the decisions, I would be in charge of myself and my safety. I would be in charge of speaking up if I didn’t want to do something. Armed with the right mindset I didn’t mind being there semi-solo.

Sometimes I forget the early days when I went to my first sex parties. I went as a single woman and had a fabulous time just fucking as much as I wanted to. While I love being MasterDoc’s sub and slut, I do like having the autonomy from time to time to grab my sexual desires by the lapel. As I got dressed I felt like I was totally hot shit with the weight loss (and my new over-the-knee boots). I’m not usually confident like that, and it felt good.

At the party my usual social anxiety turned up as my being negative about the party. I complained that I was so much younger than most people there. I try not to be ageist (I will be in my 50s + soon enough!) but I mostly go for people my own age sexually. As you know from my relationship with MasterDoc, however, everything has an exception. It’s a matter of clicking with someone and feeling safe around them. After I had a few drinks I loosened up. I got flirty with a guy I was eying since I walked in and he had immediately introduced himself (and got me a drink). We popped down to the basement to see if the violet wand play was still going on. It wasn’t and he and I started making out. (Funny story: MasterDoc went to the basement at the same time to give a sybian ride to someone. He saw this couple making out and thought “Rowr! She’s hot. I gotta get Nadia and DeeDee so I can set up a swap and get with her.” Of course, that “her” was me. Since losing weight I suppose I looked different. It’s incredibly awesome to know that the regular man in your life still thinks you’re hot.)

The guy I was with suggested going upstairs to find somewhere to sit. I suggested we find somewhere to lay down.

Yes, I’m a huge slut. What of it?

As we started making out on the mattress laid on the floor in one of the bedrooms, I discovered his leanings are dominant. Oh boy, we know how weak dominant sex partners make me! There was hair pulling, kissing, fingering me good and hard. I came over and over and over. I’m pretty sure the whole house could hear me (if not the whole neighborhood). He encouraged me to scream. I don’t need much encouragement.

He was good at making me come just as long as he wanted. I’m sure MasterDoc’s work on sensitizing me has a lot to do with it, but I was somewhat dismayed to find there’s more than one man who can force me to orgasm. Why, you may ask? Because as much as I love coming being pushed to the ends of my endurance and be so difficult.

After a million orgasms for me, and a quick cuddle, I gave this guy the best blow job I could and he loved it. When he said he was ready to come I finished him off with my hands (I don’t let guys come in my mouth until I know them really well.) It was a successful interlude I must say.

I got a break from coming and got more food. I ended up chatting with a variety of people (particularly about sex in the library) and then again with the guy I had fooled around with. He seemed smitten. It was nice to experience. He suggested going upstairs to watch whatever might be going on. Alas, DeeDee was resting and MasterDoc was in the loo. But after a bit MasterDoc could be found spanking and fingering the hostess. I watched some and got really hot again. The guy told me to get on my knees and like the slut that I am I knelt and blew him in the hallway.

I said good night to that guy a little later, and started flirting with the hot young guy there (who has a big cock. His scene name reflects his cock size.). I was relaxing on the bed in the next bedroom and the male host of the party started my stroking thighs. He did that dom sort of feeling out a situation by starting to play with my thighs. When I didn’t object he went further. He finger fucked me and jeez my pussy was sore the next day. He fucked me, and the hot guy with the big cock came up behind my head on the bed. I got to enjoy cock choking as my head hung off the bed with him sliding his cock deep into my throat. I was doing so much choking that my nose was runny, my eyes tearing, and my hair a complete mess. I certainly looked like a used slut. Mr. Big Cock fucked me from behind, until I apparently got dry. “Dammit just use lube,” I thought.

I had a great time. MasterDoc came in and fucked me at one point, doggy style, and I loved having him join in. I sucked the host’s cock while stroking Mr. Big Cock with one hand. I was the epitome of slutiness. And I was enjoying every second. I got to come some more with MasterDoc’s permission, and the guys by my face wouldn’t let me get away with sliding off into orgasm and forgetting to suck cock. That in itself was pretty hot.

I wanted Mr. Big Cock to fuck me again, and he had me blow him. The blow job seemed to go on and on and he didn’t get around to fucking me again. He spanked me, it was lacking a little finesse but it made me come. By this time I was thoroughly exhausted. I was so glad to go home. The next morning my stomach muscles were sore from coming so much.

I had a great time.

Brat

Published on November 25, 2010 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, D/s, dom, edge play, embarrassment, emotions, gags, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sadism, sex, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

While emotional outbursts, for me, are often caused by depression or anxiety issues, sometimes I’m just being a spoiled brat. Last Saturday I got cranky and pouty because the evening I thought I was to have alone with MasterDoc got changed around when DeeDee didn’t leave for her Thanksgiving trip for an extra day. So of course since she’s away this week, MasterDoc opted to spend time alone with her that night.

I think the pouting worked in some way for me growing up, otherwise why do I default to it so often? It’s immature and pretty counterproductive. (Especially with MasterDoc, he likes things to be calm and me having a childish fit doesn’t help that.) He spoke with me that day and while I cried over some things that bother me, I ultimately left his place feeling happy. I had plans to see him for definite on Sunday afternoon, and Monday evening AND Tuesday evening. He was right when he pointed out, “What’s one evening’s delay?” Nothing really.

When I saw him Sunday I got a lecture about my behavior and while I agree that I was certainly being a brat, I don’t think all my displeasure was unfounded. But I’ll leave those details between myself and my Dom. He tossed out the theory that since I was an only child (for nearly 11 years), and developed that sense of entitlement many only children develop, that having it taken away so abruptly (at the dawn of puberty no less) has left me feeling the need to count every minute, every task I do, etc. and demand as much time and as much recognition for my work as possible. It’s pretty obnoxious when I think about it. But there was always this, “Hey that’s not fair!” thing going on with my brother and me. Becoming a sister was a far rougher transition than I had thought it would be. But what did I know at 10 years old? I resented my poor brother for many years, and only as we’ve both become adults have I taken the time to apologize.

I really can be a dysfunctional shit sometimes. I’m lucky my friends love me despite my flaws.

So it’s time for me to refocus on my attitude and my service. This is something I’ve decided in light of my recent behavior. I will try to not mentally keep tabs on all tasks I do versus what DeeDee does. I will try to be more gracious when plans change. I will try to be a better submissive.

After our discussion, there was much pleasurable cock sucking and choking. I enthusiastically blew him for as long as possible. When we lay close to each other, he made me come on command a few times. When he brought up the idea of piss play, he really hit the nail on the head when he pressed me to admit I want him to piss on me. I couldn’t deny it, although I really wanted to. The humiliation that came with it was hot, however.

He didn’t piss on me that day, but I did ride his cock for a good long time. It was quite a full-body exercise! It seemed like he drew out the teasing phase before each orgasm, and I just loved it. While I am desperate for release, I’m also enjoying how it feels to be brought to the edge of orgasm. Stimulation feels good!

Monday and Tuesday evenings were spent with MasterDoc as well. There was some really hot sex Monday night and MasterDoc talked me through being able to handle a ball gag without gagging. The trick is to breathe slowly through the nose. If you breathe too quickly it narrows the nasal passages and you get less air. I also found that having my head tilting down or to the side helped too – the saliva didn’t pool at the back of my throat so much as dribble out, so I didn’t feel like I was drowning in spit. The gag is pretty loose and at one point while tantalizing me, MasterDoc pulled on it. It fit snugly in between my lips and the very act of him doing that made me so hot as my head was pulled back. (I’m twitching right now in remembrance.) There was more marvelous fucking – this time with him on top.

I am a damn lucky bitch.

Tuesday was quieter, but he made me come like crazy after I warmed myself up with masturbation. I think there was also quite a bit of caning. After two consecutive days of great sex, I was feeling pretty content and doing less on Tuesday wasn’t a big deal.

I’m sure I’m leaving stuff out or have changed the evenings when a particular activity occured. This is what comes of not having as much time to write lately. I get to see MasterDoc tomorrow and after just a day away from him I’m ready for nooky again.

Of Threesomes, Masturbation and Friends with Benefits

Published on November 15, 2010 in anxiety, bdsm, bisexuality, D/s, dating, DeeDee, libido, masturbation, musings, non-monogamy, poly, saajan, sex, sexuality, slut, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

As I dried off from my shower this evening, I could hear the rhythmic sounds of DeeDee getting a spanking from MasterDoc in the playroom. As you would expect in a poly household, there are times when she and MasterDoc have time alone, times when I have time alone with him, and time that we spend together (or completely on our own). Time spent alone with MasterDoc in the playroom means cuddles at minimum (and some spot worship (see para. 5 of that post), but usually orgasms, or a beating, or a good fucking or any combination thereof with things like nipple clamps, hot wax, needles, and the like thrown in sometimes for variety.

MasterDoc also uses those moments of post-orgasmic glow to address any concerns he has about your behavior as a sub. My latest lecture was how I need to be agreeable to threesomes with him and DeeDee (or any other woman for that matter) – not doing so is not an option. And I’ve been trying to sort out why over time I’ve gotten to feel uncomfortable with threesomes with MasterDoc and DeeDee. When DeeDee was new I was more able to play my part and not have any hang ups. But since becoming good friends, and her living at MasterDoc’s, I’ve come to feel awkward. Moody. Odd. I think it’s because DeeDee is, in my mind, a friend of mine and not a lover. I love her as one loves someone dear to you, but I feel strange getting into sexual situation with her there. I dunno. I also find that my insecurities are so great that if he’s paying attention to her first, I worry that I’m going to be left out completely. I tell you, threesomes are not all they’re cracked up to be. They can be hot, but sometimes one of you gets stuck diddling yourself in the corner while the real action goes on between the other two. I realize that for many that’s hot in and of itself, but I seldom diddle myself even when I’m alone these days. (That’s a contemplation for another paragraph.)

I don’t know that I have the answer, but apparently I have to find it. I do understand that sometimes a perk of being a polyamorous Dom should be getting pleasured by more than one of your subs at a time. When we’re both busy with him I suppose it’s not a bad thing as I enjoy making him feel good. Do any sub-types reading this have suggestions on getting into sexual situations (that you’d rather not get into) because your dominant orders you to? And do any of you have an idea on how to play with your dominant’s ass while he fucks someone else? The butt clenching that comes with fucking makes it pretty friggin impossible to get my fingers in there.

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Masturbation is something I did at an early age (I had my first orgasm before leaving elementary school) and did often when I was in high school. In the college dorm I got fewer opportunities, and once I was working full time I found I just didn’t have the energy to masturbate as often. With regular sex in my life, I’ve had even less interest in masturbation. A few weeks ago MasterDoc ordered me to masturbate at least once a week (preferably twice) and report back to him on it. The first two weeks I managed to remember and report in on the one time I did it each week. Last week I totally forgot. I often intend to masturbate as I’m horny a lot, but I put it off so I can do things like blog, watch a dvd, play a game on my phone. By the time I put all that away and get to bed I’m too drowsy to rub one out.

I find that I’m generally horny at the most inopportune times – like at work. Or when I have stuff to get gone at my place or MasterDoc’s. I’m already dedicated to carving out time for exercise again, so finding time for one more thing seems like too much. I don’t think I could ever have imagined that I could think of masturbation as too much work. I find that getting worked up is difficult by myself these days (not always, but often enough). Plus with the mind blowing orgasms I have with MasterDoc, why wouldn’t I prefer that? And if it seems like sex isn’t in the cards that night I think I subconsciously shut my horniness down.

Also let’s face it, sex by myself isn’t as interesting as with a partner.

I’ve kept my feelers out for more lovers to spend time with, but I spend a lot of time at MasterDoc’s and prefer it that way. I’m happy to be seeing Blondie, and for a while I was seeking a friend with benefits on a dating site but I got fed up with constant emails from guys I was totally uninterested in. Today I chatted up my old friend Saajan online. If you ever read my first blog he featured in it often. While I was in graduate school he and I were pretty regular friends with benefits. We fucked a few times after I moved in with Davey, and he came to my birthday gang bang a few years ago, but we’ve mainly lost touch. Since he is my idea of the ideal friend with benefits I decided to say hello. Why is he ideal? Well he’s extremely smart, funny, nice and someone I enjoy spending even non-sexual time with – but there has never been even the whiff of romance between us. He can fuck like a jack-hammer and is aggressive in bed. He’s the first man who made me squirt.

I don’t have a date set for a fuck with him but he was up for it. He just may be the extra cock I’m searching for right now. The orgasms won’t have the blinding quality I get with MasterDoc – orgasms with MD are kinda like an old television losing reception – my brain goes totally fuzzy and I lose all ability… to do anything really, other than come that is. I’ve gotten spoiled.

Weekend Update

Published on November 8, 2010 in bdsm, bisexuality, D/s, dating, horny, lesbian, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, porn, sex, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

I guess feeling burnt out can come with anything, even something that you love to do. I’m feeling like I need a break from blogging, but I’m not sure if that is what’s needed or how long I would take. I do have reviews to get done and to be honest I’d miss having an account of the things I get up to. I don’t know if I’m going to take a break, or perhaps post less often. For now the posts may be condensed and less detailed. We shall see.

This weekend I got to see Blondie. We met up in Harlem and had dinner at the world famous Sylvia’s restaurant. The food was delicious. I had fried chicken, collard greens (best ones I’ve ever had), and garlic mashed potatotes. Hardly diet food but sometimes a girl has to splurge. We were at a loss as to what to do next since it was cold and getting dark (and neither of us know what there’s to do in the neighborhood). As we were saying goodbye at the subway station, the idea for her to accompany me back to my place came up. Hooray! We took the subway and bus to my place and she told me it was fine if I wanted to watch an episode of the tv show I have out on DVD at the moment. She offered a neck rub and being a glutton for touch I took that offer. We cuddled a bit and after the show she took initiative (I’m starting to feel bad that she’s always the one to start things. Why am I such a tool?) to straddle me on the sofa and make out. Rowr. She wanted to make me come and I got the Hitachi out, but also spotted my Soraya when I got up to get the lube. She used that toy on me and made me come – I squirted which thrilled her but it wasn’t apparent how much until I moved later and we saw the huge wet spot on the throe.

She asked if I’d use the Hitachi on her and I gladly obliged. I made her scream, I made her feel good – but still I haven’t made her come. I’m trying to not get down about this since it’s not always easy for women to come, particularly with new partners. But I like making people come so it’s something I hope I get to rectify sooner rather than later. I will just have to be patient.

The following night I had time alone with MasterDoc, which was wonderful after not seeing him for nearly a week. We got naked and fooled around of course! After a warm up of cane taps on my inner thighs and cunt, he made me come just through a mental connection as usual, but thankfully then prolonged the orgasm through fingering the hell out of me. I was so horny that I was practically crawling all over him whenever I got the chance. I toyed with his “spot” on his chest and he became quite horny from that. I kept desperately wanting him to fuck me. I kept debating – would asking him to fuck me be totally hot or would he feel pressured in some way? I was relieved when he decided of his own accord to fuck me. He enjoyed some porn from theupperfloor.com of forced exercise and a slave scrubbing the floor. Yikes. The forced exercise was so painful for me to watch that I hid behind his back on the bed and cuddled up next to him. I ignored the porn while he later fucked me. But he made me come over and over – at least three prolonged times. He was exhausting me as he does lately and I love being pushed to the point where I don’t think I can keep coming because my body is giving out, but then he makes me come for a while longer anyway! He can make me aroused or come at will. He really is that good. I don’t think anyone has ever made me feel as aroused – or alive – as he has.

I Love Pussy

Published on October 25, 2010 in bisexuality, cunt, dating, lesbian, non-monogamy, poly, sex, squirting and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I had Blondie over Sunday night and since she has studied massage therapy and I was totally sore from pulling something during yoga over the weekend, I asked her for a massage. This wasn’t merely a ruse to get her to touch me. I think by now physical contact is a given between us. But I do I like her touching me.

She worried that her hands tend to be too hard for some people. I have to say her massaging was less intense than MasterDoc’s. (Considering his meaty hands, this is no surprise.) She knew what to do so well. She worked out the kinks in my neck and shoulder using some strawberry Body Butter. I had coyly taken off my shirt but only undone my bra so she could get at my back. I smelled wonderfully of strawberry, a scent we both loved. Next she massaged my arms and hands as I sat topless on the sofa. She’d throw in an occasional nipple graze which brought grins to both our faces.

She leaned in and we started making out. This lady is a good kisser and I enjoyed the languorous kisses, her tongue sweeping against mine over and over. She sat up and tugged a little at the yoga pants I wore. I slid them off without any more encouragement. “It’s just so hard to get me naked,” I joked. She laughed at this.

She sat herself between my legs and pressed her pelvis against my pubic mound as we kissed some more. My hips would buck upwards eagerly seeking more pressure. She sucked on my nipples, toying with them with her tongue. I had the thought, “Why isn’t everyone bisexual? Men are sexy. Women are sexy. It’s all good!” (I do understand that orientation is not chosen, but inborn.)

Before things moved on I put down the throe so I don’t ruin my new sofa. I offered gloves to her as she is really into safer sex. But this time she went without them. When explained that the throe was in case I squirted she said, “That’s kinda hot actually.” She was keen to make me squirt, but alas I didn’t. (It’s so sporadic.) But she did make me come, and come and come. I’m truly lucky that it’s fairly easy to make me come. At one point she said she wanted to make me come – I had already come a few times by then! She grinned widely at this. She’s happy that I like penetration. (She does too. Some women don’t.) Her fingers played with my cunt for the longest time. She was going to keep going until I was too tired. This went on for a while because I certainly have sexual stamina. I came many times as her hands probed my g-spot. I was really hoping to squirt since she was eager to cause it, but perhaps my massive squirting that afternoon left me without any more female come for the day.

There was a little intermission of sorts where we ended up talking for a bit. Then I reached for her legs. (I had gotten her to take off pants and sweater moments before.) I started playing with her, kissing her leg, massaging her thighs. I reached under her cute panties to massage her clit.

I got her to take her panties off so I could get a better view of things. This was actually the first time I’d seen her pussy. I lubed up my fingers and played with her clit. I slid one finger into her, then two. While I’ve played with a woman’s pussy before (many times) perhaps because I genuinely like this woman and feel a connection I marveled at how amazing it was. Female genitalia rocks. I’m so glad I eventually moved past the terrible cultural propaganda we’re all faced with. (Douche commercials, asking if you feel “not so fresh” as if your pussy has gone stale.) It’s a cultural meme that vaginas smell bad and are dirty in some way. I wish to strongly disagree. She mentioned feeling self-conscious since she had showered first thing in the morning and then ran around all day. I reassured her. After all, her cunt was soft and delicate while also wanting to be manipulated hard. For years I associated the smell of pussy with negativity – last night that was thoroughly erased. She couldn’t have smelled better. I fingered her for a long time, asking for her feedback. I could feel her cunt get wetter as her moans became more frequent. It felt good to finger fuck her and play with her clit. She asked me to put in a third finger and I did – using my thumb and pinky to press her outer labia against her clit as my middle three fingers sank in and curled up to stroke her g-spot (or at least try to!). It seemed she came close to coming one time (I loved the moans!), but an orgasm was not to be. I didn’t take it personally. I do hope I was doing a good job, but I’m willing to practice til I get it right. I know enough about sex to know that sometimes it’s hard for a woman to come, particularly with someone new.

I had work the next day and she headed out to catch the bus back to the subway. We kissed goodbye a few times. Hopefully I’ll see her again soon.

Aren’t all Second Dates at Swing Clubs?

Published on September 26, 2010 in attraction, bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, D/s, dating, DeeDee, kink, masochism, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, porn, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Friday night I met up with Blondie, my date from a couple of weeks ago, while out at the swing club with MasterDoc and DeeDee. Yes, I know that’s an odd thing to invite someone to on a second date, but well that’s the kind of perv I am. Sometimes I think I have no sense of how the “regular,” non-kinky world operates – or that others may or may not understand my way of doing things. Ultimately I think it’s best to be me and see how the other person reacts. I want to be with someone who can handle my lifestyle.

I’ve gradually been introduced to my date’s sexy past. On our first date she mentioned shyly having been a sex surrogate. I’m sure my completely mellow and positive reaction to that has helped move along the level of things she feels comfortable telling me. I knew about the pro-Domme work by the end of the first date, but didn’t catch the porn work until the second one. I’m sure there’s plenty of people out there who would be freaked out by these things, but personally I think they’re utterly cool and sexually very hot. While I had looked at her myspace page, I didn’t notice porn info (but when she mentioned doing porn for the first time around me she thought I probably already knew from her page). I had known she did fetish modeling though. So dribs and drabs have some out in a short space of time. I can totally understand the gradual revealing of information – I want to be open about who I am and what I like to get up to, but I worry about judgment. So I have to toss a few things out there and see how they go. If they go well I can toss a few more out there.

So far anything we’ve each thrown out there has seemed to go well. After all a pervy sex blogger has much in common with a fetish porn actress. (Oh yes, she not only did “straight” porn, she’s also done fetish. HAWT!) I woke up Saturday morning to MasterDoc and DeeDee looking up her porn online, and seeing the kinky stuff she’s done makes me feel really happy and comfortable being a perv around her. This isn’t the first time I’ve fooled around with a porn actress, but it is the first time I’m dating one I suppose.

At the same time, I don’t want her to feel like sex is the only thing I’m after. She took a break from porn so her life has been different in the past few years. As much as I love hot sex and think she and I could have a ton of fun together, I am also happy to go at her pace should it happen to be slower than mine currently. I like her. I feel there’s time for things to develop. Perhaps the most amazing thing for me is the fact that I feel reasonably confident she likes me. Usually I can’t believe the other woman is into me. I suppose my self-esteem is finally at a point where, while some nerves and fear of rejection remain, I can also sit back and say, “She acts like she likes me. And why shouldn’t she?” Having an open mind that the other person could like you helps immeasurably. I’ve probably done more self-sabotage with women by refusing to believe they could possibly like me. (Sad, I know.)

Feminist perv that I am, I don’t assume that just because she’s done kinky shit she would necessarily want to do the same right away with me. I don’t take it personally that she likes to use gloves when first sleeping with someone new. I see it as a smart safer sex precaution. It’s more precaution than I feel is necessary for my own peace of mind, but the whole point of risk assessment is deciding what level of risk works for you. I can’t decide anyone else’s level of acceptable risk.

So after that long-winded intro, I suppose I should talk about Friday night.

Blondie was delayed, so she doesn’t come into the story until a little later. I hung out at the club with MasterDoc and DeeDee. He had us take turns sucking his cock right there in the open as usual. It’s cute to see how much he loves showing off the hot sex he has on tap from TWO women. He’s not someone you’d guess that about at first glance. But his confidence is alluring. And then you see his big cock. And then you discover his incredible skill in bed. And you figure out that he’s a highly intelligent man who is also a huge pervert – AND has a sense of humor. I really didn’t stand a chance when I met him, did I?

I started getting nervous that she hadn’t shown up. I’m still in that stage where my fragile ego is convinced I’ll get rejected. Thankfully, MasterDoc took me off into the back room and did some play to get my mind off things.

We actually brought my wrist and ankle cuffs for once (we have often meant to) and he attached me to the St. Andrew’s cross with DeeDee’s assistance. I had on my bra, fishnet stockings and garter belt, but had taken off my dress – and not worn panties in the first place. He spanked me, hitting me pretty hard. I found myself in a decidedly masochistic mood. He flogged me, used the riding crop on me. He flogged my butt and my upper back. I loved the pain, I loved the sense of him being in control. The crowd that night seemed less kink-savvy than it is some nights, but I blocked the crowd out and let myself get into the flogging. He started playing with my cunt, and shortly he told me to come. Fuuuuuck. It’s hard to come while holding yourself in a standing position. Oh yeah I’m technically held up by wrist cuffs, but I can’t really place my whole weight on that. So I had this struggle of “oh god that feels good, I’m coming!” mixed with “ow, my body is getting really tired from trying to hold myself up.” I think I squirted a tiny bit but it was interrupted by needing to support myself. I prefer coming when I can just lose myself to the orgasm and not have to worry about holding myself up.

I rested a bit after, thinking that I really need to get into shape. I talked to DeeDee about her latest job prospects when MasterDoc went off to use the bathroom. The three of us were back in the socializing area when Blondie showed up. I was glad to see her. I’m trying to find the right balance of excitement over meeting someone new I like, and expressing that I like her, without seeming too intense. I don’t know yet if this will be a romance, or play partners, or what have you. And being poly and already in a stable relationship I find it much easier to relax and see where life takes me. For now, I enjoy her company, I’m hot for her and want to keep getting together. The last thing I want to seem like is that old U-Haul joke (you know, the one that goes, “What does a lesbian bring to a second date?” “A U-Haul.”).

Walking around the swing club with another woman is a very different experience than being there with a man. It was the first time I had done so, and jeezus, the men flock. That evening seemed to have more than the usual amount of clueless males, but I think it would have been bad regardless. The lack of respect by your average straight guy for something that’s going on between two women is highly irritating. She was flogging me on the cross (not attached this time, but yes I was flogged twice. Yes, I’m lucky!) and some total idiot called out “What’s that feel like?!” and then came up beside me, put his hands against the wall and stuck his butt out. Blondie had no trouble firmly but politely telling him that he’s interrupting. I had no problem turning to him and letting him know he was being rude. “Seriously, you’re being a bit of a dick right now,” I said. He scurried off. The issues seem to be that in the swing atmosphere it’s much more accepted to try to get in on the action. It’s never okay to touch without permission, or to be a dick, but aggressive men asking if they could join us is to be expected. Kinksters seem to have a much better sense of letting people do their thing and not intruding. Just because you’re playing in public doesn’t mean you want people to join in. It pissed me off that the social conditioning for men is such that they can’t envision two women just playing together. We don’t need your cock to join in guys! I love cock and I’m pretty sure Blondie does too, but we’re perfectly happy being kinky by ourselves thank you.

It’s a shame because we have to be firm and bitchy. If you’re at all polite or friendly the guy will come back again, and again, and again. But it’s not easy to always be bitchy. If a guy is cute and under the right circumstances I’d be up for fucking him then I don’t want to be so stern that I make sure he never comes back. But if I’m not up for fucking him that night I’m in for lots of badgering all evening. And by the end of the night I’m far less interested.

We talked with a cute Asian guy, but his many attempts to get our numbers, invite us out to another swing club, etc. went un-encouraged for the most part. I gave him this blog address, but wouldn’t give out phone number. After all, I know my situation as MasterDoc’s submissive and the fact that me going to a swing club with some other guy is pretty counter to our dynamic. I don’t think he or I would be happy with that situation. (I don’t rule it out, but it’s not of interest just now.) Somehow it’s different with a woman. Women aren’t so fucking pushy.

But when we managed to ignore the interruptions she gave me a lovely flogging – a bit of pain mixed with lots of the lovely softness of her rabbit fur flogger. Her flogger is of a better quality than the one I acquired recently, and it’s possible to give a good hit with it. She used the riding crop on me (including my outer limbs which MasterDoc doesn’t usually do). I needed to sit down after a while, and she suggested I lay down on the bed so she could flog my front. Rowr. This she did, she also spread my legs to slap my thighs. I think she was going a bit easy on me, which would make perfect sense playing with someone new. I hope to encourage her to go harder in the future. She straddled me and played with my tits. I stroked her legs and when she took her top down to reveal her lacy camisole, I reached up to play with her tits too. I was in a happy place!

All of us left at the same time, and at the end I had expressed interest in going with her to a women-only play party the following night. (She had mentioned it before, I had been to a few of these parties years ago.) We parted ways with the agreement to make plans the next day.

Lucky Slut

Published on August 23, 2010 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunnilingus, D/s, gags, kink, non-monogamy, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, swinging, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

My apologies for taking so long to write about this. I’ve had so much to do lately that I’ve just been too busy or exhausted to write. I did take some notes the day after this night of debauchery last week, so let me tell the story as if I actually wrote this the following day.

My muscles are sore today. Masterdoc and Lana, the lady who joined us all recently for “Using the Slave,” took turns using me last night. Of course I am a very happy girl today!

I was instructed that I had to crawl on the large mat in the living room – no walking except when I’m off the mat. He had me crawl over to him on the sofa and he put my ball gag in my mouth. (MasterDoc has been making a concerted effort to branch out and use some of the toys I keep hoping he’ll use.) The mat was set up with condoms, lube, a few toys and my strap-on.

I lay on the mat gagged as both touched me. With the gentle strokes over my body I would twitch. MasterDoc has trained my reactions so that I’m hyper sensitive – every nerve ending has become an erogenous zone. Lana is adept at touching gently but not too gently. I got the sense that my body was getting a workout simply from the muscle twitches that came from arousal. MasterDoc told me I could come at will for the duration of Lana’s visit. They took turns sucking on my nipples. Shortly after, Lana made me come by playing with my clit while he grabbed my hair. It’s so very easy to make me come sometimes.

MasterDoc removed the ball gag and let me have a drink of water. He had me get on hands and knees so he could fuck me. He fucked me silly while she grabbed my hair firmly and pulled my head back a little. The hair pulling intensified the fuck, although he was also pounding me exceptionally hard. I squirted as I came, and came, and fell to the mat after, short of breath.

MasterDoc sat in a chair and had me suck his cock while she fucked me with my strap-on. Unfortunately the angle was all wrong for the silicone cock to enter me. They put me on floor and he watched while she fucked me. The dildo kept sliding out of my clenching pussy, so she gave up after a while and used her fingers. MasterDoc took over fucking me and talked dirty about me being used by a bunch of guys, one after the other, some day. I was totally out of control with coming by that point. I went feral: grunting, screaming and panting. Orgasming becomes a control thing with MasterDoc and he can wring the orgasms out of my body like crazy. If he wants to make me come it’s pretty definite that I will come. Lana did a pretty damn good job making me come as well – she held my Gigi to my clit while he fucked me.

We relaxed, enjoyed some dessert and MasterDoc had to get ready for bed because he had work early the next morning. I joined Lana on the mat and she started stroking my body again and watching me twitch. She seemed to take great pleasure out of the way I’d convulse from her touch. She made me come more with her hands and then she went down on me. She was very, very skilled at it. (I thought to myself that this is why I prefer bi women over bicurious – they know what to do! I realize this isn’t a hard and fast rule, but having experience counts for a lot.) Lana made me come like crazy licking my clit, sucking it and using her arms to rock my hips a little while she did so. I had to ask her to stop finally because I was so tired. I have no idea how many times I came that night. I stroked her back and shoulders for a bit, making her feel good for a change. I really was spoiled that night, however, although MasterDoc had given Lana a sybian ride before I got home from work.

When we stopped, I needed to help MasterDoc with some things. I felt totally worn out and went to bed after getting him settled. Of course, I thanked our guest heartily before going to bed.

Using the Slave

Published on August 12, 2010 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, cunnilingus, D/s, DeeDee, dom, exhibitionism, gags, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, Uncategorized and wartenburg wheel. 2 Comments

I arrived at MasterDoc’s Tuesday night thinking I was going to have a night alone. He and DeeDee were planning on going out to something kinky (he wouldn’t specify) and even though I didn’t have to be at work until late the next day, he thought it best to just bring DeeDee. I was totally in an anti-social mood, so it was a bit of a surprise to find them both home when I got there – and that the people they were going to see were coming over. The situation was this: a Dominant has a slave he’s training, and as part of her training she was going to be used by a bunch of strangers.

The slave got to see me briefly as I came outside to help them bring their toys in from the car. They brought a large cage to keep her in. Her Master had her wait in the hall outside the apartment until the cage was set up, then he blindfolded her and brought her in. He spent some time alone with her in the bedroom where the cage sat and then left her in her cage for a little while. She was blindfolded with an elastic bandage.

He came out and spoke to the rest of us about what was planned. He had also brought along a switchy lady he had been talking to (who is really cool. I totally want to hang with her again). So there were four ladies and two men. (Cue the Beach Boys: “Two girls for ev-ry Dom!”) The evening started off with the rest of us being silent, so she couldn’t tell who was touching her or how many people there were. Their relationship is much more formal than mine and MasterDoc’s – he had her crawl around the whole time, she has specific positions she needs to get into on command. He seems to inflict more pain than I think I could take, but perhaps it was more the kinds of pain than how much? I’m not sure.

After he had her display herself (first position was kneeling up, legs spread, arms behind back, head back and mouth open, she looked lovely) we took turns groping her. MasterDoc was not shy and immediately went over to see how wet her cunt was. I needed a little waving forward from her Dom after MasterDoc finished, but I enjoyed her soft breasts and toyed with her cunt a little. I don’t know why I get so damn shy with women. The other lady then played with her.

The details are hard to follow as so much happened that night. I know I got a little cuddle from MasterDoc while the other lady fingered the slave. I stroked his back as he stroked his cock watching the slave get used. DeeDee also came over and played with him a bit.

When the lady was done, MasterDoc slipped on a condom and fucked her. Her Master told me to kiss her and so I made out with her while MasterDoc pounded her. (Kinda hard to keep kissing when she is moved around so much from the pounding.) The slave was an attractive lady, so it was definitely a pleasure to play with her. (I’d hang with any and all of the people involved again.)

The two Doms decided that the slave would eat me out, and so she went down on me. I actually pushed her head down a little as she was just above my clit. The other Dom played with my tits and MasterDoc did as well. I came – having been given permission to come at will – but not quite with the same intensity I come with MasterDoc. In fact, MasterDoc and DeeDee hadn’t realized I came! And if any two people would know what I look like during orgasm it’s them. But I not only came, I squirted. A couple of times. MasterDoc thought I was in a state of frustration, but I expressed that actually, I had had enough.

Her Dom bit my nipple so hard! I’m not used to prolonged strong biting. My nipples are pretty sensitive and we don’t do a lot of nipple torture. MasterDoc is fond of flicking my nipples with his fingers – which hurts, but not so much the other stuff. MasterDoc had been doing this flicking on her clit over and over earlier.

At some point, her Master had her masturbate in front of us. I watched her rub her clit and wondered when she’d be allowed to come. After a while, he gave her a toothbrush to masturbate with. Yes, she rubbed her clit (or just above it, more on the clitoral hood) with the bristles of a toothbrush. Ouch.

She was spanked a bit with an acrylic (I think) cane. MasterDoc spanked her as well. MasterDoc flogged her a little. She ended up going down on the other woman, and while her ass was in the air doing that MasterDoc fucked her. DeeDee jumped in and started playing with his ass, but the other Dom asked her to take more photos. (Yes, there are photos of this. No, I don’t think I will get to share any here.) As she used the camera I took over playing with MasterDoc’s ass as he likes. I truly enjoyed seeing him enjoy himself. He was like a little boy at Christmas. I think I’m finally at a point where I can accept that new pussy is sort of a fetish of his, and that he will always look for it, but that he loves me and will come back to me. He took the time to pretty much tell me this as he fucked her and kissed me.

I lose the thread of the story about now. I know the other Dom fingered (quite expertly it seemed) the other lady. The other Dom didn’t play with myself or DeeDee at all – except to put cups on our nipples. (e.g., cupping as used in some Asian medicine). The suction hurt me just too much! My left nipple was already sore from him biting on it, and just the other day I chose to endure the clover clamps for a while. I just couldn’t handle the feeling of the suction on my tender nipples. But at one point all of us ladies had cups attached to our nipples by suction.

Her Master had her drink out of a dog bowl on the floor, but treated her to a diet root beer later after she had already been a good girl for a while.

She was still blindfolded through this, mind you. He took out a dental gag and I drooled. MasterDoc joked that he was making him look bad – after all he brought out all sorts of toys that I ask and hope for but don’t usually get used on me. With the dental gag in, he dragged the wartenburg wheel all over her body. Fuck. I was so turned on watching this that my body would involuntarily twitch. I so want that for myself. I cringed a little when he ran it over her sore pussy, but I’ll bet it was ultimately wonderful.

The slave was put over the Liberator scoop at one point and cuffed down by wrists and thighs. I think I wandered off to the kitchen at this point, so my recall of what happened is spotty. (I know, I know, I do my best to fill you guys in entirely but a human being can only do so much!) There had been some cock sucking along the line (perhaps most interesting was her Dom putting his cock in her mouth from above as she lay on the floor being used by others).

She was finally allowed to come as her Dom used the Hitachi on her – and she squirted a ton. Next the other Dom made the other lady come, and MasterDoc got DeeDee and I to come simultaneously on the sofa on either side of him. While I had come a few times, I didn’t come with the intensity possible when MasterDoc focuses, and thankfully he wanted to make me come hard, and used the Hitachi on me some more and made me squirt a river as he made me come on the couch.

The hour grew late, and the planned double penetration didn’t happen. But to finish off her Dom and MasterDoc took her into the bathtub and peed on her simultaneously. And she didn’t get to kneel like DeeDee and I get to, she had to lay down and have them piss in her mouth. Yikes. I would freak out over that. I know MasterDoc plans to get me to the point of pissing in my mouth some time, but that one’s going to be much harder to overcome than ass licking was. I stayed in the living room talking to DeeDee and the other lady. But DeeDee got called in to take photos. She looked awfully queasy when she returned.

The slave was left alone to shower off and came back out with the blindfold on. All the goodies they brought along got packed up, and we all said our thank yous and goodbyes. For a night when I thought I’d be totally antisocial, it ended up being pretty freaking hot. I must say however, that the selfish girl in me wishes I had been the center of attention. The next morning, DeeDee and I talked about how our evening had been something that previously (previous to getting into the lifestyle) we would have thought happened only in novels. But yes, these evenings of utter debauchery do happen. I don’t make up these stories, I only chronicle them. I am thrilled to be at the level of perviness that these hot group things go on from time to time. I am a lucky girl.