Archive for the 'masturbation' Category

Masturbation

Published on January 19, 2012 in cunt, kink, masturbation, porn, sex toys, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 3 Comments

I ended up with an evening alone after a few plans fell through. I decided to make myself a date with Mr. Hitachi (i.e., my Hitachi magic wand). I don’t masturbate often these days – it’s kind of a mystery why I don’t. I just find sex with a partner to be much hotter most of the time. But when everyone was out of the apartment, I took my laptop into my bedroom, lay down the throe and watched some porn on pornhub. It was a shortened sample of a Public Disgrace video. (Oh kink.com, so many times you’ve gotten me off!) I had some pretty incredible orgasms. Something I like about the magic wand is that even when the stimulation becomes almost too much, I can keep it pressed against my clit and ride it out into something even more sublime than before. I squirted a nice puddle on the throe.

I came twice and watched a bit more of the video. I realized that the down side to masturbation is no one to cuddle with afterward. I reached for my teddy bear, however, and cuddled with him. (His species is a “North American cuddlin’ bear”.) I used my other hand to keep playing with my swollen cunt and soon I put down the bear and reached for the Hitachi again. I went for another orgasm and came quickly, just as intense as before.

I felt pretty damn satisfied after. I considered my date with Mr. Hitachi to be a success. I went back to the living room, a huge grin on my face. As I walked by MasterDoc’s room I had the rather silly fantasy of going in there and rubbing my wet cunt on his things, like a cat in heat advertising its readiness. Of course I didn’t, but I have spent the past two days online with MasterDoc telling him how horny I am. I hope tonight turns out to be hot.

Come Again?

Published on November 20, 2011 in bdsm, cunt, D/s, flogging, forced orgasm, happy, horny, kink, libido, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, restraints, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive, trust and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Posting has been thin because I’ve been sick. I didn’t have the energy for orgasms, or writing this week. I wanted to though!

But Saturday I got some alone time with MasterDoc and I’m finally feeling much better. He put my cuffs on my wrists. The collar stayed off until we got to the bedroom. We put on some kinky porn (a full length Device Bondage clip on pornhub – I selected it). It was pretty damn hot. I got up for a moment to get something and complained that I didn’t want to miss any. MasterDoc paused the clip, went into the playroom and came back with his small flogger.

“Want to know what you missed? This is what you missed,” and he started flogging my tits. It made me giggle until the left nipple got a particularly sharp crack that made me wince. We smiled and got back to the porn.

Soon we realized that moving to the bedroom was overdue. We moved his laptop so we could continue the porn. I love how her helplessness in bondage is brought up by the Dom. If that was me I’d be so on the edge of coming if it was pointed out that I was secured. I still remember playing around with bondage with my first boyfriend. (Oh gawd, that was just over 20 years ago. I feel old.) He tied me to his bed with his school ties (Catholic school boys are freaks). I would come even harder whenever I pulled at the bonds and felt held down.

Yes, I’ve been kinky as long as I can remember. That was just the first time I got to do those things with another person.

There was no bondage for me today, but MasterDoc did have me sit on the bed with my hands behind my head while he flogged my tits, thighs, tummy and pussy. Someone recently expressed concern (not to me directly) that I’m some abused, broken woman after reading this blog. As he flogged me and I thought about how much I enjoyed it, I shook my head (internally, not literally) and wondered how our fun and games could be so misconstrued.

MasterDoc decided we should take a break to cuddle while we watched the porn. I played with my clit and I could tell he was stroking his cock behind me. Unexpectedly, he told me to come. Holy shit. I hadn’t been anywhere close to orgasm but I came within seconds. He gently but firmly grabbed my hair as I squirted a load of hot girl come on the throe. I was surprised by how much I squirted. Squirting seems really sporadic for me recently, but I certainly needed rehydration after this afternoon.

Huzzah!

He wanted to fuck me, and watch the porn, so we set up the bed. I was on my knees and could not wait for him to put his penis inside me. While I kinda wanted to watch the porn, I totally forgot about it when he started fucking me hard. He’d slap my ass a bit and then plow into me with his cock. I wanted to come so badly, but I waited until he gave permission.

Once he did there was no stopping me. The woman in the porn was on a sybian, and I marveled at how, like that machine, MasterDoc can make me just come and come and come. Seriously. I can only imagine the fun we would have had had we met earlier, although I’m not sure I could have handled him at a much younger age than when I met him. I bit the throe for a while and tried to bury my ecstatic screams in the mattress. While the coming would ebb for a bit, he’d slap my ass and plow into me some more, and I would be delirious with orgasm once again.

I have no idea how long he made me come. Wonderfully long. As I collapsed next to him, I said, deadpan, “I’m so abused.” This was good for a chuckle. Why do I find it so funny? Because an abused woman isn’t being given lots of orgasms, followed by lots of cuddles. She doesn’t find her self-esteem growing as her relationship grows deeper with her man. I have to laugh at the absurdity of it or I’d be pretty pissed off by the assumption that I’m only with MasterDoc because… well I don’t even know why. He’s beaten me down? Er, no. He keeps me on tight leash? Hardly. (Although that might be hot now and then. *wink*) I’m dependent on him? Nope, I’m not. Only dependent in the sense that I turn to my chosen family for comfort, support and companionship. I depend on them for that.

I thought that was probably all, especially since MasterDoc has started feeling under the weather himself today. But the porn kept running and I soon buried my fingers in my pussy. He returned to the room after a few moments away to find me masturbating. We chatted a little, and I reached for the Hitachi. With his assistance, I came even harder than before. I think you can tell the depth of the orgasmic feeling by my voice during it – it was higher pitched for the orgasms during sex, but got really guttural when I came from the wand and his hand. As I started to come he pushed the head of the wand against me. Fuuuuck. He slipped fingers inside my cunt, and also touched various spots on my pelvis and thighs that send me reeling.

I squirted some more. And lay spent. I gave him a fuzzy smile.

Surely we were finished.

I can’t recall how it came about, but the man made me come again. I’m just such a poor unfortunate soul aren’t I?

Hell no, I’m a very sexually satisfied woman.

Cuddles and caressing his the “spot” on his chest topped off a very pleasurable afternoon. (I’ve discussed the spot before. This patch of hair in the center of his chest that is just so wonderful to pet.)

Pushing Limits, Part I

Published on September 25, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, DeeDee, dom, edge play, embarrassment, forced orgasm, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, spanking, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

As you know, I’ve been finding it hard to find time to write. And if it’s not time I’m looking for, it’s motivation. I find that this week in particular has been busy with work (and work-related stress), chores around the house, and assorted other bits and pieces. To top it all off, I have to work today, Sunday, for a few hours. It feels like a sub’s and a librarian’s work is never done.

This is partially (but only partially!) down to perception. I have had some stellar time alone with MasterDoc this week. But I find when I truly have downtime, that I just want to do mindless stuff like watch a show, or play The Sims. Writing seems beyond my energy level.

But before I head off to work today, I vowed to try to get at least one blog entry written. So here we go.

Yesterday, I was really craving kink. It was funny because MasterDoc was in a totally cuddly mood. I think other than caning and such, he doesn’t necessarily push my limits as often lately. He managed to get himself into the mood talking dirty to me. And I got to experience some kink that really did push my limits.

He started talking about humiliating things he could do to me. And just the idea of most of it pushed my limits. I hoped that some of these ideas would only amount to talking, but it seems he wanted to give me what I wanted – kink.

He took me into the bathroom to piss on me. I find that piss play is something I truly hate doing, but I kinda like him being dominant and making me do it. I hesitated on taking my vibe along, because I wasn’t feeling horny at the idea of his piss. He pointed out that it was up to me, but why not get an orgasm out of it? I relented and grabbed it on the way out the bedroom door.

He had me kneel in the tub. He grabbed the closest breast and started slapping his cock against it. “See, if I slap it hard enough it keeps my cock from getting aroused.” A frequent (male) piss Dom problem is getting aroused by the idea and then being unable to pee thanks to the hard on. (I always hope for a hard on.)

“Get that other tit over here.” He said and I turned towards him. He continued to play with my tits, call me his piss whore and tell me I could come when I felt his piss. I ran the vibe over my clit, not sure if I could get aroused enough to come. But then the whole thing is arousing despite being totally repulsive at the same time. I suppose it’s a part of submission/masochism that is difficult to understand. “I don’t want to do that thing, but I want you to make me, because your making me is hot.”

So he pissed on my tits, and I came. I buried my face in his tummy as best I could. I feel embarrassed to be coming at that point. It always feels like he has the bottomless bladder. When he pees on me, it feels like it goes on for several minutes. Towards the end, I couldn’t come anymore so I turned my head towards the wall in humiliation, because now I was just experiencing him peeing on me without the distraction of an orgasm.

He was in a merry mood after, and went to wash his hands. I couldn’t wait to get the piss soaked vibrator put down and the tub water running to clean myself off. I learned the hard way one time that you need to do more than rinse, you need to use soap and scrub slightly. And you need to remember that your hands have been pissed all over. One time, I rinsed my body well but forgot my hands and had to smell his pee all evening. Yuck. This time, I scrubbed and rinsed carefully.

I think one of the downsides to piss play is that the aftercare happens after a lapse. I’m left alone to rinse off, and getting wet inevitably means I feel a chill after. (Especially when I walk in the bedroom and he has turned up the air conditioning.) I think I’m still processing the experience whereas he’s been distracted by other things while waiting for me. I need a warm blanket and some adoring cuddles after piss play. While he can humiliate me as my Dom, I need reassurance after that he loves me even if I’m his filthy piss slut.

After a little recovery under a sheet to keep warm, he moved on to phase two. I had so hoped he wasn’t serious about phase two.

He gave me the kneepads. He told me to put them on and get the leash. Lately he not only has me wear my collar, but also wrist cuffs during play. I like it, but I find it much easier to be little miss subby when it’s just him around. (Or I can usually deal with him making me crawl into DeeDee to say hello.) The catch of this bit of impending puppy play? DeeDee and her other serious boyfriend were in the living room watching tv. MasterDoc instructed me to crawl into the living room, bounce around like a playful puppy, bark and pant. My brain could NOT get my head around doing something so embarrassing in front of DeeDee’s other boyfriend.

Now, you need to know that her other boyfriend is kinky too, so none of this would make either DeeDee or her boyfriend freak out. I was the only one freaking out. I crawled as far as the curtain that hangs over the entrance of the living room to keep air conditioning in. I could not make myself go any farther. I stayed hidden behind the curtain. I told MasterDoc it would be easier if he went with me, but he wanted me to go alone. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

In doggy fashion, I turned to him and whimpered and whined like any dog would when faced with something they really didn’t want to do. This didn’t produce pity unfortunately. He got the riding crop and smacked my ass until I crawled in. I hung my head down nearly the entire time. I could get through the embarrassment if I didn’t have to look at the people in the living room. He told me to lift my head and pant, and I simultaneously closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see. Ultimately, the embarrassment happened. But MasterDoc said I got a C- for that performance and he was a little annoyed with his misbehaving little bitch. Meanwhile DeeDee and her gentleman said, “Awww.” when the puppy came in. They thought it was cute.

He led me by leash back to the bedroom. I crawled until I was in the room. It’s funny, but I can’t recall the less stressful bits right now. I know I asked for aftercare. He hadn’t thought that scene would need aftercare, but I pointed out that it was a very intense scene for me. I got some cuddles.

End of Part I

Angst and Sex

Published on September 8, 2011 in anxiety, D/s, depression, emotions, forced orgasm, masturbation, sex, sex toys, stress, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I’ve been officially living with MasterDoc and DeeDee for over a week now. The stress of moving, compounded by a sinus infection and then my car being broken into and stolen from, has left me feeling depressed and almost killed my libido. This depression seems to be lingering longer than I’d like. The kicker I suppose is that I was feeling better Friday morning as I left for work… only to find the passenger side window on my car shattered and my stuff rifled through. Argh! I think I felt a little like Charlie Brown with Lucy and the football. I kept thinking, “Ok, today will be better!” only to have the “football” swiped out from under me, again.

I’ve been yearning for attention and cuddles from MasterDoc much more than sex and orgasms. We have fooled around a few times. We did some assisted masturbation where I used the Hitachi on myself and he added to the experience with grabbing my hair and such. Rowr. I came remarkably hard, but I wasn’t feeling particularly horny the rest of the time. On Saturday, MasterDoc wasn’t feeling himself (he had a rough week as well) so I did my best to be helpful to him. DeeDee and I attended to him. I sucked his cock, she did some spot worship (caressing the lovely spot of hair right in the middle of his chest). DeeDee, ever creative, went off to get something – when she came back she put some garlic powder in her palm, licked it, and spritzed MasterDoc’s cock with the new olive oil spritzer. Then she went down on him. It wasn’t erotic so much as amusing, but I give her a lot of credit for creativity.

MasterDoc had to wash after, since oil will deteriorate condoms. (You all know that right? Don’t use anything oil-based with latex.) When he came back, he decided to fuck me while DeeDee bathed. I had so turned off my desire that it was hard to shift gears and receive pleasure. The orgasms had to be pulled out of me. We expected DeeDee to come back in, but she wasn’t sure if she should.

Monday I was feeling particularly depressed and kinda moped around the place all day. I had angst over feeling needy but also being too scared to talk about it lest I be perceived as annoyingly clingy. This week I need lots of petting, reassurance and attention. I did speak up just a little, and thankfully later on MasterDoc suggested getting “freaky” as he calls it. I felt delicate mentally and he somehow found his missing mojo and provided me with the perfect combination of attention, domination, comfort, and orgasms.

He’s had his own angst because at least half of the last testosterone implants he got worked their way out of his body. He’s low on testosterone until insurance will pay for the next implants. This doesn’t stop him from being a horny dog, but his cock isn’t always as cooperative as he’d like. And like any guy, if his dick isn’t working he can feel hesitant to start fooling around. This has been the perfect week for me to remind him that while I love penis-in-vagina sex with him, he can make me feel good in so many other ways. That’s not as trite as it sounds. They say the brain is the largest sexual organ, and I tend to agree. While I need orgasms, I have needed attention and cuddles far more this week.

However, his cock decided to cooperate. Huzzah! That’s good for the old self-esteem (his and mine). He fucked me from on top, and pushed me into orgasm before he gave me the command to come. When he did give the command, I started coming harder.

Yes, I realize that with a life like this you’re probably wondering how the hell I could ever be depressed. As I pointed out to MasterDoc, my depressions seldom correlate with the quality of my life. This is why I consider it to be an illness and mostly chemical. Granted, poor behavior modeling on the part of my mother, and being a shy and intellectually precocious kid, only compounded my difficulties. These bits I can, and have, worked on and improved vastly. But the chemical bit is harder to treat. I’m medicated, but perhaps I’ve been on the same medication for too long? Or are there just going to be times where the delicate balance in my brain goes too far for the medication to handle. I don’t know.

The love and orgasms and attention from MasterDoc helped me tremendously. I am thankful for all the does for me.

Just “regular” sex at home

Published on August 17, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, edge play, forced orgasm, happy, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, spanking, submissive, trust and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

“Who wants to have sex?”

This sudden question from MasterDoc caused me and DeeDee to look up at him with surprise. He hadn’t indicated the slightest interest in sex earlier in the evening. When I recovered my wits from the surprise, I meekly raised my hand. DeeDee was watching a show and was interested in finishing it. I hadn’t had sex with him since Tuesday, and this was Sunday, so I was already feeling like I needed a little MasterDoc-iliciousness. The sex with the new guy on Friday was satisfying, but the connection I have with MasterDoc is unique and I like to experience it regularly.

MasterDoc started the evening talking about piercing me – on my inner thighs. Eek. I was really scared because I imagine this to be even more sensitive in a way than the outer labia was that one time he pierced it. I was working the Siri on my clit as it was getting late, and I needed to get to bed, so I had to have a part in getting myself warmed up. I had a hard time getting aroused because the needles scared me. Me, the person who pushed for needle play in the first place. Somehow lately that kind of pain strikes me as too much to bear. Other submissives and masochists out there will probably know what I mean by “kind of pain.” Different implements cause different sensations. A needle is different than a cane strike which is different than hot wax.

The talk of piercing was merely a mind-fuck (for the time being). He put me on hands and knees and fucked me, which, he said, would ensure I’d stop complaining that I hadn’t had his cock since Tuesday. The scene climaxed with me coming over and over again, as per usual. I wish everyone could describe their incredible, mind-scrambling orgasms in such a blase way.

Two nights later, DeeDee had plans, so it was just MasterDoc and me at home. I lay on the bed, face up, relaxing while waiting for him to decide what we’re going to do. He gets the medium cane (The only one he could find. Thankfully the only one he could find wasn’t the thickest one.) and starts caning my thighs. I “ooh!” and “ouch!” He orders me to spread my legs. He starts working on caning my inner thighs. Red cane stripes appear – but only on one thigh. He decides he must make the other one match. Interestingly enough, the second thigh is the one that bruised slightly the next day.

He has me roll over eventually, laying flat on my tummy. He canes my butt and I work to slow my breathing when it hurts a lot. I was in the mind space where I worried I couldn’t handle the pain, but then ultimately it turned me on. It’s not just the physical pain causing a biological reaction, but also the idea that I’m his. He can use me like this if he chooses. I have handed myself over to him in such a way that I trust him even to make me hurt. If he gets pleasure from it, I do too.

It’s interesting to have a dynamic with someone where you both love each other very much, and endeavor to take care of each other in your own ways, but that same person who loves you can make you hurt and leave bruises. I can see how a non-kinkster might have trouble understanding that. But when we’re in a scene, he takes me on a journey. I always come back safe from that journey, inevitably wiped out from lots of yummy orgasms after the pain. Four years with him, and I still find sex with him to be ultra-exciting.

Satisfied with beating me, he tells me to get over there and suck his cock. Pleasuring his cock with my mouth was delectable.I use various techniques he’s taught me over time. Most recently he’s asked for more suction, whereas before he didn’t want it because the head of his cock is so sensitive. He still doesn’t want the head sucked on hard, but I work my lips along the shaft, squeezing. I lick. I slap the head against my outstretched tongue. I work the base with my hand while orally taking care of the rest.

He gets a condom and puts it on, taking time to slap my cunt a little. He flicks my clit with his fingers. (I hate when he does that. I hate when he does it to my nipples too.) He works some lube into my pussy. He slowly slides the head of his cock inside of me. His cock is thick, so when I’m not especially warmed up I appreciate it when he goes slow. Just that bit of cock feels great, however, and soon he’s sliding the full length into me. As he does this, he props himself up on one hand and uses the other to slap my face. Oh yes. That was hot. Cock sliding in simultaneously as face getting struck.

He fucks me silly, I feel on the verge of orgasm, sure that I won’t be able to hold back until he gives permission. I whimper and moan, a clear sign that I’m dying for orgasm. I do manage to hold out until he tells me to come. When I come, he slaps my face some more, making me come harder, and pounds my pussy intermittently to really make me scream. I find myself orgasming for what feels like an insanely long time. I thought to myself that surely, I’d run out of steam and not keep coming after a while, but this took a very long time to occur.

Aftercare consisted of pillow talk and my massaging “the spot” on his chest. I think I cracked some silly jokes and we laughed a little. He touched me a bit and stopped when he worried that he was turning me on. But post-orgasm lately, I can get aroused and immerse myself in the feel of his touch without needing to go on to orgasm. It’s extremely pleasurable being touched by him. No one else feels like him. No one else knows my body as well as he does.

Am I a Cougar in Training?

Published on August 14, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, dating, horny, masturbation, non-monogamy, prostate massage, sex, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I met someone new on Friday. We enjoyed lunch and then went back to my place. He’s someone who doesn’t have time for a relationship, but of course would like some sex and companionship now and then. This is ideal for me as I’m not looking for another serious relationship. Lunch with him was pleasant, and we know a few people in common. He gave me a ride on his scooter back to my place, and it was the first time I ever rode a scooter (haven’t been on a motorcycle yet). In my usual ladylike manner (har) I threw my leg over the back of the scooter despite wearing a dress. Thankfully I had worn a stretchy casual dress.

I clenched my thighs around his hips as we got started. He took things slow since it was my first time. It was fun and yes, I did wear a helmet. At the stop light, he reached down to caress my bare leg. Rowr. Some small part of me was still thinking, “Am I going to fuck him today or just make out or something?” But my subconscious knew I’d go all the way.

This guy is 10 years younger than me, and I’ve been questioning if this makes me a cougar. I think not since he wrote to me and I’m not exactly out trying to find younger men. He seemed to know what he was doing sexually, unlike too many men in their 20s. We got to my apartment, kissed and he suggested we get more comfortable. When I caught a glimpse of him in just his boxers, with a hard-on raging, I was delighted to see it was a substantial size. I don’t consider myself a size queen, but a little larger than average is always a bonus.

Since I didn’t think to put the air conditioning on until part-way through, it was hot, sweaty sex. I usually hate sweating for any reason, but it was sexy how our bodies slipped easily against each other. He had difficulty in that he’s similarly endowed as MasterDoc, and I mainly had the NYC condoms on hand – they run a bit small. (What’s up with that, NYC??) He didn’t try to get out of wearing them, he just pointed out that coming was going to be difficult with the condom so tight. I said that I’m sure we could figure out a way to make him come. I sucked his cock deep which he loved but it didn’t lead to orgasm.

While fucking younger men makes me worry they’ll be clueless sexually, this guy paired youthful energy with some expertise. As he pounded me into the bed he made me come over and over. I had to speak up a few times as my cervix can get cranky being pummeled like that. He could flip me over without ever taking his cock out. I ended up on top where I could control the depth more. I squirted a bit and he loved to hear that I did. It turns him on a great deal. That early on, however, it was difficult to tell the little bit of girl come from the copious amounts of sweat.

We went on playing without much of a break for much longer than most sexual encounters I have. (He accosted me in the kitchen as I tried to get a drink of water. Ha ha.) Again, I said a silent word of thanks to the weight loss and exercise. In the past I would have had to cry uncle. He asked if I like anal, and I said yes. I lubed my ass up and yet again this slut had anal on a first date.

Yeah well, you know my philosophy – if it feels good and I want to do it, why should I not? This is an area in which being an atheist is so liberating. I don’t have some fictional god telling me sex is wrong, or clergymen claiming to know how we should all live our lives. If it’s consensual and both parties want it? I can’t see why not to do it. The fucking went on a long time and I came countless times. I was glad that he knew he could go pussy to ass with the same condom, but needed a new condom to go back to the pussy. Sexual knowledge is sexy.

After much rolling around and rubbing body parts against each other (including more girl come as lubricant), I mentioned that I know how to do prostate massage. He was up for it and I lubed up his ass and slowly worked a finger in. Eventually, I took the time to work a second finger in. He writhed around and said it was too intense at times. He said it was the best prostate massage he’s ever had – the others didn’t know what they were doing. (I told him to thank MasterDoc.)

While the massage felt good, the intensity made him need a break, and he ended up jerking off while hovering over and intently examining my pussy. He complimented me on it, and while the skeptic in me thinks, “He must say that to all the girls!” it was still nice to hear. I didn’t hesitate to compliment his cock that day too. He came on my tummy and I felt glad that both of us had come. We each showered off the sweat and come we were pretty much covered in. He took his time getting dressed and soon after we said goodbye. I then proceeded to work on packing up my apartment for my upcoming move.

I was exhausted that night. I had worked out hard in the morning, and then there was that pleasurable second workout in the afternoon. I tried to cuddle with MasterDoc a bit, as I wanted to reconnect with him after having had recreational sex with someone else. On Saturday night, I hoped that he and I would get it on (we haven’t since Tuesday) but he was feeling like having time alone. I felt emotionally needy and luckily managed to strike a balance between asking for and getting attention, and giving him space to be by himself. We cuddled, and MasterDoc picked up on the fact that a beating would do me good. He whacked away at my ass with various implements. Sometimes I think there’s no way I can handle the pain, but then as soon as the beating stops the pain lowers to a manageable level. He made me come with the Hitachi magic wand and after I felt so much better. I had really needed the beating for the endorphin release, and the orgasm to round out the relaxation. I was able to go amuse myself after that and give MasterDoc more time alone. (My current addiction is figuring out how Sims Medieval is played.)

Untitled Night Out

Published on August 7, 2011 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, couple, D/s, dom, embarrassment, exhibitionism, humiliation play, masturbation, non-monogamy, sex, sex parties, sex toys, show, slut, sub drop, swinging and Uncategorized. 3 Comments

Friday night was a particularly fun night out at the swing club. When we arrived and saw our friend who is always there on single guy nights (Veronica) she was flirty with me and MasterDoc asked, “I thought you weren’t into girls.” She said, “I’m not but I’m trying.” while looking at me. Rawr. I’d do her. Definitely. She loved my new hair cut.

A little later, MasterDoc and I were giving a show in the large room. MasterDoc really got into the powerful Dom & a submissive piece of meat mode. It was hot, but somehow lately I feel embarrassment about being slutty. It’s totally weird. Ultimately, I don’t have a problem with being made to come in front of a bunch of strangers, but I feel kinda embarrassed lately. It’s a little in a hot, humiliation-play type way, and a little in a “Oh my god I have to close my eyes and tune the audience out” way.

MasterDoc made me come. He gave a flashlight to one of the guys and so my pussy was on full display in the spotlight. I’d shut my eyes and let myself feel his hands on me, and THAT feels amazing so I just go with it. Soon, I’m coming and for me the only people there are me and him. As the orgasm subsides I crack open my eyes now and then, usually to shut them quickly.

MasterDoc made me give show with my vibe. Despite a little embarrassment I just went at it and made myself come – again with my eyes closed. I usually get myself off with some sort of clitoral vibe. I guess having my eyes closed it isn’t THAT weird for me. I usually close my eyes when we’ve a big audience.

Next he fucked me, but we knew we only had a few minutes left because the owner needed the room for something. Again, I was screaming in orgasm. This deep grunt comes out from my lower throat when I’m really in the throes. MasterDoc told me to come, but I had already started. I asked him later if he realized that, and he hadn’t. I thought the sounds I made were very different than when I’m just really turned on and wanting to come. I couldn’t hold back. Orgasm control has become a bit less important in our relationship lately. (He’s told me that if I get to the point where I just can’t help coming that it’s hot and acceptable.) I think it’s because my pussy doesn’t push his cock out like it used to. It does sometimes, but not nearly as often. (Score!)

We went to cuddle in another room. I mentioned a guy who had plopped himself down near us being cute – we had met him before and both times MD was like, “Him?” He looked a bit scruffy, but it seemed to me it’s in that “I’m a sensitive artist type guy” sort of way. Don’t know if he actually is, but that’s the look. he massaged my feet. MasterDoc leaned in and told me to play with the guy’s cock with my foot. So I started doing it through his pants. Soon, MasterDoc had granted the guy permission to rub his bare cock on my feet. I did my best to stroke his cock with both feet hanging over the edge of the bed. I’m kinda squicked by feet so it’s not hot for me, but then it wasn’t a problem for me either.

When MasterDoc went to bathroom the guy kept hitting on me, coming over and licking my toes even. When MasterDoc came back he let the guy go down on me. This guy was pretty lousy at it! I got MasterDoc to rescue me. I think perhaps that happened last time we met him there too. I hope if I see him again I remember he’s terrible at licking pussy!

MasterDoc and I cuddled for a while. I was definitely experiencing a cuddle deficiency. He was away the night before (the slut!) and we didn’t cuddle much the night before that because we had been doing a lot of cuddling and fucking over the past week. I was feeling pretty sated. (He rubbed one out not once but twice that night. As I like to tease him sometimes, “That’s pretty impressive Old Man.” The old man bit is just teasing. While he’s considerably older than me, he’s not a senior citizen (except at IHOP). But I must admit I wouldn’t expect a guy in his 50s to fuck like he does. I’m a very, very lucky woman.

We were hanging out a bit later and I heard some guy make a comment about, “She’s just some whore who hangs around here.” Hearing the “whore” comment, I figured it was about Veronica. This pissed me off. I thought, “She’s my friend, asshole. And quite frankly I don’t care if she’s earning money here. (I’ve never confirmed this, but yeah, I guess I’d be naive if I didn’t realize it.)” Anyway, she’s a sex worker, not inhuman. She’s my friend – we don’t hang out otherwise as of yet, but we’ve known her a while now from the club. So the tone of that guy’s voice irked me to no end. I’m sure he’d be all to glad to have that “whore” touch him.

Since I was happyily post-orgasmic, I sent MasterDoc off to chase women. I was content to relax and watch porn in the lounge area. I realized why women might seem like ice queen bitches at a swing club – you’re petrified to show even a polite interest because with many guys they’ll take it as actual interest. I have no trouble telling a guy, “No you can’t touch me.” but still it can be annoying. So I do my best to watch the porn and act like the single guys aren’t there.

MasterDoc was busy adding another notch in his belt of porn actresses fucked. (Alas she was a lousy lay!) Meanwhile I got hit on by cute couple. I was surprised in a way, always devaluing myself as usual. She has her hair really short like I do, and it looks great on her too. Her guy was cute and flirty but not in an oppressive way at all. Apparently they’re poly too. And she’s certainly bi. She went to use bathroom and he asked if he could make out with me. Actually, he ‘asked’ her if she’d mind if he made out with me while she was gone. She seemed a little perplexed and he clarified, “I wasn’t actually asking you I was just trying to hit on her.” (me) Rawr. We made out while she was in the restroom. She came back and sat behind him because she was feeling weirded out by the tons of single guys hovering. I don’t blame her for feeling that way. It was packed – mostly guys. We exchanged numbers and they’re certainly interested in seeing me again (and I them! Well, he wants to see me again at least.) I told them this blog address so I could even be found here.

MasterDoc came back after a long time. The couple had apparently met him once before. I’m not sure if the, “Oh you didn’t tell us your boyfriend is Doc!’ was just a surprised reaction or they were not as interested in him as me. This is a problem I’ve noticed since being in an age differential relationship. MasterDoc is an awesome guy and and awesome fuck but he is in his 50s and most of his attractiveness comes from his confidence, warm personality, and large cock. And his intelligence and his sense of humor and, well, his large cock that fucks me so well. A foursome with us and that couple would be so hot. I don’t get the sense it will happen, but a girl can fantasize.

Perving Time, Dear Readers

Published on July 28, 2011 in bdsm, D/s, embarrassment, emotions, forced orgasm, happy, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sadism, sex, sex toys, submissive, trust and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Finally, I’m going to write about hot sex! Get your lube and sex toys ready because this could be quite enjoyable. If you’re a perv, that is.

It’s funny how in a long-term relationship things can ebb and flow a bit. For a short while (a matter of weeks really) I felt a bit like I wasn’t quite in sync with MasterDoc sexually. Granted, my “not quite in sync” is still far better sex than most people have. He seemed less domly in nature for a bit, these things happen, but last night he was in an appropriately dominant and nasty mood. And it was like we were never out of sync.

I have a wonderful Dom, he listens when I mention things. I’ve mentioned recently really wanting to be actively touched (I like touching him too, but something about his hands moving over my body is awesome) and he touched me a hell of a lot last night. We had been together on the bed for a short while before his touch was driving me crazy. “That’s it. Think yourself wet,” he said. I could feel my hips bucking as if they were trying to reach for the nearest cock.

He’d stroke my face. He stroked my arms. And soon I was twitching uncontrollably. I can’t recall if he made me come with just words and non-genital touching, or if he decided to fuck me first.

He fucked me on my back, a position that we’ve come to really enjoy now that we’ve both lost some weight. He didn’t put it in right away, he had to tease me by rubbing his cock up and down my pussy. I was so close to verbally begging for his cock. I was already begging for it with my body language. He seemed to tease me much longer than usual. I wanted him so badly! Finally he fucked me, and I was well off on the journey to an orgasm. I tried to be good and hold off coming, but he kept pushing me, fucking me harder. I held out for a while (because, honestly it feels good to linger on the edge for a while), but he pushed me to the point where I couldn’t stop it. He seems to push me a lot lately with orgasms. Him exhausting me by forcing me to orgasm for long periods of time is becoming de rigeur. No, I am not complaining one bit.

I can’t recall if he slapped my face then, but at some point in the evening he slapped my face as I came. Him exerting power over me made me come even harder. I do know that at that point he grabbed onto and cradled my neck as my upper body moved forward during orgasm. It was an amazing feeling to clutch his bicep as that arm held me, him holding me to his chest so that my nose was buried in his chest hair and body scent. It felt like he was so strong and I was so taken care of, and taken over. His cock has been remaining hard lately even against my contracting vaginal muscles. So I get to feel his big cock sliding in and out of me while I come, not just leading up to it. I swear, my head will explode from this one of these days.

We took a break. He told me I could take my collar off, but I asked to keep it on. I was enjoying subspace and wanted to stay there. He let me keep it on, and somehow I managed to slip in a slightly sarcastic joke about how hard MasterDoc’s life is – i.e., He’ll manage somehow as I be subservient and helpful to him.

He watched some of the Yankee game as we both got ourselves desserts. (Yes, Doms can do things for themselves.) After a bit, he asked if I wanted more sex or not. “I’d like more, but I could be just as happy if we didn’t.”

He then gave me the two options of “no more sex tonight” or “I’ll piss on you and then take you into the bedroom and fuck you.” He was a little surprised that I chose the latter. The whole pee thing is such a mixed bunch of emotions for me. I hate the act, it’s terribly humiliating even if it’s just him and I in the bathroom. But I need him to sometimes make me do things he likes and I hate, because in the making me do it, I feel so submissive. The things we do put me into different headspace. It may seem like torture to a regular person, but for me it makes chemicals in my brain do amazing things. I can get such calm, and an almost meditative state from it. And there is a part of me, which despite my laziness and inclination towards egalitarianism outside of D/s, likes to take care of him. To fawn over him a bit. I stood over his bath last night before we fooled around, constantly adjusting the temperature so it would be just how he likes it. I told him I felt like an English butler. And there certainly is overlap in the duties of a submissive and a butler.

But the poor butler doesn’t get fucked to wild orgasms.

Back to our evening. MasterDoc was drinking water and hoping he’d be able to pee soon. I took that time to play games on my phone and generally distract myself from what was going to happen. He lamented, “The tribulations of a Dom! I’m planning to pee on you but then my cock gets hard thinking about it and I can’t pee with a hard cock!” (His life is so rough, I know.) He took me into the bedroom first and fucked me. I was thrilled about that. I love his cock! Plus a part of me hoped it would help him forget the whole peeing on me thing. Needless to say, I came a whole bunch again. He really worked at getting me highly aroused.

After some recovery from the coming – seriously folks, my body was tired - he ordered me into the bathroom. Urgh. I put on the knee pads and sat on the toilet lid waiting for him. I felt like it was diabolically ingenious for him to send me there to wait so I could stare at the tub and know what was going to be done to me shortly in there.

When he came in, he explained that this is the way it would work for the evening – he had put a condom on, he planned to piss in it and rub it against me, and I knew instinctively that he would pour it on me eventually. Or perhaps he mentioned it, I’m not sure. I burned with embarrassment. Just the idea of the humiliation of him rubbing his piss filled condom on me made me turn my head to the wall, quite involuntarily. I felt honest to goodness humiliation. I switched on my siri vibe when he told me to, and started playing with myself.

He started pissing and I closed my eyes as I often do, but he ordered me to look at the condom as he filled it. He rubbed it on my tits, and told me to suck on the condom a bit. Again, more humiliation, plus some disgust. I could smell the piss through the condom and made sure not to suck too hard on it lest it break.

And I suppose the most humiliating thing was the fact that with the help of my vibe (and being highly aroused already from the sex we had) I came when he told me to, and he laughed a bit as I continued to burn with humiliation while coming. He poured the contents of the condom over my breasts. I think he may have pissed directly on me too, but I was too deep in subspace to quite know what was going on.

Immediately after, I felt like a hungover person suddenly opening their eyes to find the aftermath of the party they had last night. You look around, feel confused about where you are for a moment, then things start to come into focus. Aftercare was definitely in order, but there was the little matter of being covered in piss. I showered off, and he met me in the bedroom.

Cuddling led to more orgasms. His touch feels amazing to me. He can make me come so easily. It really is astounding. I feel almost like it’s a magic trick we do. “Abra-cadabra! Watch this lady orgasm from my hand resting on her shoulder!” At some point he said, “I think you’ve had enough young lady,” as I was clearly getting aroused yet again. But I explained him that, indeed, I had had plenty of orgasms and I was just enjoying how wonderful it felt for him to touch me. Reaching an orgasm from it wasn’t the goal, even if I was twitching like I do on the way there.

Intensity

Published on July 18, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, caning, D/s, dom, forced orgasm, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, shio, spanking, squirting, sub drop, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I feel bad that I haven’t covered the hot sex I have with MasterDoc as often lately on this blog. It’s noteworthy sex, but I’m feeling so lazy about blogging (or just plain busy) that I often don’t get to it. I have notes to work from about a hot encounter last week, and I’m sure memories of more recent scenes will pop in. This post may be a conglomeration of various times rather than a straight narrative.

From early last week, I remember the endless twitching of my body as he touched me. I’m so sensitive to his touch that my body reacts even if my mind hasn’t caught up yet. The twitches have become involuntary muscle movements. He sucked on a nipple as I diddled myself to orgasm. (Remembering this makes me want to go diddle myself now.)

He fucked me next, taking a moment to slap my pussy with his cock. My sensitive clit loved this. He fucked me til I came, which doesn’t take long. I was in another world and even ceased to be aware of the fact that I was being fucked while on my back – I was so disoriented with orgasm. He kept hard and kept fucking me while I came. When my pussy pushed his cock out, he slapped my pussy with it again. This caused me to squirt and could feel a splash as he slapped his cock against my pussy right before fucking me again. Getting a rain shower of one’s own come is certainly something different.

I was already worn out from exercise and now the orgasms. Orgasming like that is a very intense experience. I lost touch with all around me, and all I knew is that I came. That, and I was exhausted. Next he had me on all fours playing with myself with vibe while he caned me, hitting pretty hard. I had put the canes out myself, so I was delighted that he used them. I thought how hot it was to take pain for him. I can’t always manage to eroticize pain, but it’s awesome when I do. Taking pain became a deeply submissive act for me. I came as he alternated caning, hand slaps, and playing with my pussy.

He spanked, paddled and caned me again yesterday. MasterDoc pushed my limits and I even felt some fear – as he’d touch me gently, I’d remain tense worried that he’d hit me again. And often he did. Somehow I enjoy that fear in small amounts. He hasn’t instilled as much fear in me lately and to be honest I missed it. (Note that this is fear with someone I trust and know won’t ultimately damage me.) The scene was fantastically intense, and he hovered over my body as he made me come, and put some pressure on my throat. I have anxieties about being unable to breathe, so my brain read things as even more intense than they were. (I truly panicked that he would make me pass out, something which, while I trust him to be careful and take care of me, makes me downright phobic. He wasn’t holding my throat in such a way as to make that possible. But a part of me wants to let him go that far, like it would be a good experience to finally truly let go of control like that.) The spanking yesterday left my ass sore for a while. I wasn’t sure I could handle the pain he was dishing out, but as always I was just fine after the pain stopped. (Something I’ve been learning while doing bdsm, pain can be difficult to stand acutely, but I will return to normal as soon as it stops, and I can stand what he dishes out even if I think I can’t at the time. The fact that I always bounce back makes me feel strong, rather than weak.)

I needed a lot of aftercare after such an intense scene, but I had really needed him to be stern and Dominant with me. I felt thankful to him for giving me exactly what I needed. Cuddles helped my heightened awareness come back down to normal. The fear during the scene is one thing, it continuing after would be a problem.

Back to the other day. In the latest of his trying out unusual ways to make me orgasm, he commented that it would be interesting to make me come from pulling on my pinky finger. I said pretty much anything would work with him. I was beyond exhausted at this point. But as he ran his fingers slowly down my arm, I focused on the sensation and felt my arousal climb as his hand descended. As he massaged my pinky I came. It was diabolical how he could make me come again, quite hard, despite exhaustion, and without touching any body part traditionally considered an erogenous zone. Yesterday he did the same thing, making me come when I thought we were all over and I didn’t have the energy in me to keep going.

I hope you’re all lucky enough to have a partner who makes you come til you can’t come anymore.

Over the past week there was also some light bondage (wrists, blindfold, duct tape across mouth) as he made me come, and also I helped him come a gallon.

July 4th Weekend

Published on July 5, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, drunk, exhibitionism, forced orgasm, masochism, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, swinging, the wrestler and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Yup, I’m the lame-ass sex blogger who keeps finding it hard to sit down and write. I’ve had adventures this past weekend and only now I’m sitting down to record it. The details are probably fuzzy, but I hope I’ll still manage to convey the fireworks I enjoyed – all of them indoors.

Sunday night I enjoyed a purely sexual, purely casual encounter. The wrestler came over for our first encounter without MasterDoc. MasterDoc was supposed to go out with DeeDee for the evening but they both stayed home after all so they were off in the living room while I was getting it on. I reveled in having a guy come over for hot fucking but without any other sort of relationship attached. (Don’t get me wrong, relationship sex is awesome too. This is just enjoyable for its own sake.) He’s still damn hot. I mentioned our sex toys as we went into the bedroom, he said, “I don’t need sex toys. I use my body, my hands, those are my sex toys.” Rawr.

We got naked and he quickly had me pinned to the bed. This simple act is enough to get me hot. I let him know that MasterDoc decided he didn’t want the wrestler spitting on me (something he did last time without negotiating, I enjoyed it but certainly MasterDoc’s directions on this will be followed). He grumbled a little, but he heeded the request.

He does a phenomenal job just taking me – the kind of sex I so often fantasize about. He straddled my chest and I flicked my tongue over his balls when they got near. I love playing with someone who likes that I’m a dirty slut. I lapped at his balls and cock. He uses his body to keep me still (not that I’m trying to get away, mind you) while doing nasty things to me. He wrapped his legs around one of mine and fingered me to orgasm over and over again. If I believed in god I’d thank it for such an awesome ability to orgasm.

He fucked me from behind and pretty much climbed on top of me. He pushes his cock in as far as it will go, and as he’s lean that’s pretty much to the base. I joked afterward that I didn’t know why I was so tired, all I did was lie there and orgasm. He fucked me from on top, pinning my arms down with his and my legs with his. It is quite an experience.

We took a break since it was hot and, well, he had certainly been exerting himself. We chatted a bit, kinda awkward with someone you don’t really know and don’t intend to have a relationship with. But sex often requires a bit of a rest break. (The kind I have does anyway.) During the break he thanked me for the “very flattering” post on him last time.

Then he said, “Ok, enough of this, why don’t you come over here and suck my cock.” Oh yeah.

There was lots of gagging, lots of rough stuff. At one point, I could feel the bile rise from my stomach as he kept his cock thrust down my throat and I gagged. I felt all subby. It’s nice to experience such physical, rough sex since not everyone is in shape for it. (Heh, I told the wrestler that it’s good I didn’t meet him 60 lbs ago – I don’t think I would have been able to handle the pounding.) He fucked me up the ass, plowing into me like no one has before. Jesus. It felt great but I kept worrying that I’d end up with a perforated bowel. (Ok, not really but the thought entered my mind.) I was body sore the next day like I often am from exercising. I know it’s from such physical sex Sunday night. My back was a bit sore, and for next time I need to tell him to be careful with my wrist since it’s been finicky since I sprained it a while back.

But it was fun. And I came so hard and for so long that I couldn’t help but shake the depression that had been hounding me all weekend.

The night before that, Saturday, I went out to the swing club with MasterDoc for the first time in a while. I had mixed feelings about going out. I had only just complained to him that it had been a while since we went out, (we stayed in the night before) but then I was struggling with a depression that made me a bit antisocial. Also, Saturday nights at the club are couples only (and single women, there actually was one there!) so I was concerned that I’d just feel like the lure to get MasterDoc pussy. (And he’d say, “What’s wrong with that?” He thinks it’s my duty as his sub to get him pussy. I am just not good at that sort of thing. Any other subs reading this responsible for helping get pussy (or cock) for your Dom?)

Despite my earlier mood, I managed to be fairly social. (Alcohol helped.) We chatted with a cute, young Australian couple, and then a sexy Colombian woman we had met at a private party a few years back. (I didn’t recognize her at first, but she remembered MasterDoc having the sybian!) Everyone was nice and friendly, but but no one seemed particularly interested in us. I was chatty and complimented MasterDoc often, but it didn’t help ultimately. Elusive Pussy 1, Nadia 0.

I convinced MasterDoc to go make our own fun. I was so horny by this point. Dancing and moving my body to salsa plus the alcohol in my bloodstream led me to rub my ass up against MasterDoc’s crotch. He took me into the room with the large bed and fucked me hard after I lavished oral love on his cock. A new couple came in and fucked nearby, enjoying themselves but mostly the guy was enjoying watching me. I came screaming and squirted all over the bed. After, MasterDoc went to bathroom telling me, “Don’t get into trouble while I’m gone young lady.” The couple moved over to the bed and I apologized for the wet spot. The woman said, “Oh it’s okay it just means you were enjoying yourself!” as they found a dry spot. I was still naked and I figured playing with myself wasn’t getting into trouble. The guy of the couple was digging it. When MasterDoc returned he made me squirt again via his tongue and fingers since the guy was eager to see it. Alas, the couple left because they were getting pelted with my squirt as I came and MasterDoc slapped my pussy. They didn’t seem offended by it, they just understandably didn’t want to get sprayed with a stranger’s bodily fluids.

Having had just a little too much to drink, I rested on a sofa while MasterDoc went off “perving.” (Seeing what else was going on in the club.) That couple from the bedroom showed up again. She was an enthusiastically sexual Latina and he was a very fit black guy. Dude was eager to see my pussy again, and he gently spread my legs while MasterDoc was there. Rowr. He played with my pussy for a bit while his girl sucked him off. Since it was getting late, I had to excuse myself and go use the bathroom before we headed out. But when I came back MasterDoc was fingering the Latina while she went down on her boyfriend. I made my pussy available again to try to “be a good submissive” and help prolong MasterDoc’s play. He decided to stop after a few moments since it was so late.

We got home 4 am and I crashed hard. But I had enjoyed myself thoroughly.