Archive for the 'masochism' Category

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Setting the Weekend Afire

Published on June 8, 2011 in bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, cunt, D/s, edge play, exhibitionism, fire cupping, fire play, forced orgasm, gags, horny, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, photos, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

This week has been a little slow sex-wise, but last weekend was pretty hot! I spent Friday afternoon with MasterDoc and Saturday afternoon with Blondie.

I have expressed to him that foreplay doesn’t have to be physical sexual stuff – I can get really hot from him grabbing me by the hair and talking dirty to me, calling me a piece of meat, telling me he owns me. He tends to be a bit lazy, so letting him know that my foreplay needn’t take a lot of physical effort has been a good thing.

We fucked a few times and the under-the-bed restraints we put on the bed never got used. I wasn’t disappointed though. I got well fucked. He had me start massaging his inner thighs after a couple of rounds of sex. I was going to help him come when he decided to have me get on top to ride him. Another fuck! Huzzah!

He said he was thirsty and I joked that he could slurp up the puddle of come I left on the throe. This backfired as he decided to put MY face there. I hesitated, but he kept telling me to get over there. He pushed my head down a little and called me a good puppy. Most of the moisture had been absorbed or evaporated by that time, but my face ended up in a delightfully musky patch of the throe. I found it totally erotic for him to make me do this essentially against my will. To an outsider it might have seemed like I didn’t want it, didn’t like it, but then while grabbing my hair as my face pressed against the damp spot he told me I could come. Fuck. I came right away. My body always gives away when I’m finding something freaky arousing. Usually it’s little involuntary twitches. Sometimes it’s orgasm on command.

On Saturday I went to an all women bdsm party with Blondie. There were just 8 guests ultimately, but it proved to be a nice size. We met in the well-appointed loft of a professional dominatrix. This isn’t her residence but where she works. She has a large collection of expensive, nice bdsm toys. Body bags, a cage, many floggers, a suspension rig.

The party started with kink ice breakers – the hostess had asked us all to put questions in a jar relating to bdsm. As a group (of only 5 at this time) we discussed kink, thoughts on it, our experiences, and interests. Fire play was mentioned and I have been wanting to try it. What luck! Blondie brought her gear for it. I also wanted to receive some rope bondage as it’s something I have little experience with. (MasterDoc is admittedly rope challenged, but Blondie has gone to workshops presented by the likes of Midori.)

Blondie had me lay down on the padded top of the cage – it had eye bolts on top the you could attach cuffs to. We borrowed cuffs from the dominatrix and Blondie secured me to the top of the cage. She started with some fire cupping, which I’ve experienced both as a treatment in acupuncture and as play. She moved on to leaving the torches lit and tapping them on my body. She would also draw lines (and squiggles) in rubbing alcohol on my skin and let it catch fire and burn out. Mostly it burned out quickly – as alcohol tends to do. This felt neat but the bits where it kept burning just a little too long hurt like a motherfucker and I’d cry out. (She’d then snuff the spot that kept burning.) I ended up with a very superficial burn on my stomach that cleared up in a couple of days. My stomach area was more sensitive than others. I particularly enjoyed watching fire go up my arm on a streak of alcohol. She undid my wrist cuffs and let me sit up so I could see the fire play in the mirror. This came in handy as she was going over my upper torso and I could look straight ahead to see the flames instead of down into them.

That was fun, but Blondie had more ideas. Next she put a rope harness on me and then tied me to a chair with my hands cuffed behind. She tormented me – especially my poor nipples and inner thighs. I still have some bruising on my thighs. She placed a couple of raspberries in my mouth saying, “You’re allowed to taste all you want, but you can’t bite or swallow. I want to see those raspberries when I ask for them.” I never realized just how much saliva breaks things down. I helplessly sat there as the raspberries dissolved in my mouth.

I should take a moment to describe Blondie that afternoon – she was in heels, lacy panties, a waist cincher and a sexy open bra that had fringe running over the tops of her breasts. She looked fantastic. Her legs and ass in particular are just perfect.

While I sat there, I had some time to watch one of the women being laced up into a body bag. There was a lot of humor and teasing as she tried hopping around and ended up falling to the floor. (Thankfully her head missed the suspension rigging by a few inches!) Blondie teased the woman in the body bag, a friend of hers. I sat there with my dissolving raspberries.

Blondie moved me around the room as needed by sliding the chair around. I was definitely helpless. She started cracking her bullwhip behind my head – it was more psychological than anything else as I heard it close to me. I did get a tap once or twice with the whip but nothing worse than a sting to my upper arm.

After the raspberries had completely dissolved she shoved a large strawberry in my mouth as a gag. It made me salivate a lot and even drip a little saliva on me. I had to bite into it gently to hold it in place, especially as it slowly dissolved. She used my panties used as makeshift blindfold. She played with food some more – making me hold multiple blueberries between my teeth. After that, she put told me to stick my tongue out and placed a chocolate piece on it. I was to hold it there. She hit my thighs some more and I cried out “ow!” while my tongue was still out. She did some hair grabbing. Some hard sucking and nibbles on nipples. Some lovely, deep, tongue kisses. She played with my siri vibe in the rope harness. (But as I often find in situations like that, the damn thing wouldn’t stay in quite the right place to get me worked up.)

Yup that's me, helplessly molested by Blondie.

She eventually untied me (I was so ready!) and took me to a mat on the floor. She teased my pussy, then made out with me for a while. (Mmm mingling tongues.) Then straddled me, her ass in my face and pinning my arms with her legs. She used my clit vibe and her fingers to make me come. I think it was the only audible orgasm that day, sadly.

We chatted with the others for a while and slowly the party broke up. We were going to grab dinner together but she was already late getting back to her place to reorganize and then go out with another submissive female playmate of hers – this one visiting from across the country.

I took the subway home, with wonderful memories to ponder.

And bruises to show for it…

Pain, Piss and Fucking

Published on May 8, 2011 in anal, bdsm, cunnilingus, D/s, dom, edge play, embarrassment, forced orgasm, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, prostate massage, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

There was more pain when we played on Saturday than he’s given me in a while. I think for the most part I was in need of a good rough bit of play. He placed the clover clamps on my nipples. I had to breathe deeply to ride through the pain. In the past, he would have taken them off much sooner, but this time he played with them a bit. The clamps bite into the nipple despite the rubber tips on them. They leave a deep impression. I was just getting used to the pain (as much as I could anyway) when he touched them. The pain surged again. I was surprised how long he kept them on me considering the look of pain that must have been on my face pretty much the whole time. He kissed between my breasts, which put a bit of pressure on the clamps. The pain was intense.

When he removed them it hurt even worse for a moment. Next he used the clamps on my labia. I got nervous when it seemed like he was playing with my inner labia, but I didn’t think he’d put the clamps on there. He did and I screamed. It hurt so much! Thankfully he removed it, and then moved to outer labia. This was still really painful. He went down on me between the clamps and it was hard to enjoy the feel of his tongue amidst all the pain. He took the clamps off (again that intense pain when the blood rushes back) and made me come with his tongue and fingers. Of course, after the orgasm all the suffering from just moments before was forgotten.

He stood up, and I wondered what he was going to do next. He must have needed to urinate because moments later he instructed me to meet him in the bathroom, and bring my vibe. I truly don’t like when he pees on me. I dread it. I brought my siri along but didn’t want to get turned on, you know? He had me kneel in the tub (knee pads on) and started talking up what he was going to do. It is so hard to listen to. He told me to me ask for it. I struggled, made jokes and even begged him not to make me ask for it. I had gotten myself worked up with the toy on my clit by now, and so I relented and asked him to pee on me so I could come. He pissed on me and I came and I hate that I came. I felt the warm liquid run down my body and the acrid smell hit my nose. I looked away. I closed my eyes so I don’t have to see it. But I came with his piss running down my hands.

He left me to wash off, saying that he would fuck me when I got back to the bedroom. I rinsed off, then grabbed the bath pouf for a little scrub when I didn’t feel clean enough. I dried off, and grabbed a throw blanket when I got back to the bedroom as I was cold. He snuggled me for a bit while we watched porn. (More PublicDisgrace.com.) He pushed his knee into my cunt from behind me. This was hot but I couldn’t come from it. I wished he would talk dirty to me again. He did just minutes before, asking what he was going to do with “his body” (i.e., me. Swoon.). He talked about making me just a piece of meat. Fuck, I like that talk, I really do.

He fucked me from behind, making me come over and over. And over. And over. And did I mention over? I had just gone limp from coming as his cock plugged away at me. At the end of a long, satisfying fuck, he pulled out and slapped my cunt, making me squirt all over.

As I lay down to recover, he put his wet hand in my mouth and probed a bit with his squirt-soaked hands. The fingers in the mouth thing is a recent suggestion from me. It makes me feel even more like I’m his slut to do with as he wishes. He can probe into any orifice he chooses to.

We took a break. During the break, he talked about working his new favorite toy in his ass (the Duke) and fucking me from on top with it in. I worked it in slowly as he watched hot, nasty porn. I got him really hot. I loved watching his face. He asked me a one point if I’d be ok if he just came. I said yes, and while I would have enjoyed another fuck I meant it. He said, “Good but I think I’ll fuck you anyway.” I kept working the toy in his ass and it became apparent he felt too good to stop. We kept going until he came all over his belly. He was relieved to see me smiling at the end. I had come enough for the day. It was time to make him feel good.

A funny aside: as we played after I had cleaned up the piss, I kept thinking I smelled piss every so often. I figured it must have been just psychological until I realized – I focused on cleaning my body off, but his piss ran over my hands too earlier. I didn’t adequately wash my hands and they smelled like piss. Ugh. I went and washed my hands at the first suitable break in the action.

Afternoon Sex x 4

Published on May 5, 2011 in anal, bdsm, caning, D/s, dom, dp, forced orgasm, horny, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, porn, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

On my day off, I got one of those afternoons I remember having when I was 18 and dating my first boyfriend. MasterDoc and I spent the better part of the afternoon in bed. Knowing that we were going to have sex, I set up the bedroom – throe on the bed, condoms, lube and my collar out and any toys I thought we might like to use. As he bathed, I took my siri and worked my clit.

He seemed to be taking a long time in the bath, so I walked in, vibe still in hand and found him reading a book. (He often has his nose in a book. No wonder I love him.) I told him matter of factly that I was “hot, wet and ready for him.” This made him finish his bath faster.

After some distraction (He often gets sidetracked helping a friend or lover with a problem. He’s a mensch like that.) he put on some porn from PublicDisgrace.com. I loved the video of a woman being passed around at party. I’ve had fantasies like that, of being the entertainment at a party of pervs who play with my body in all sorts of ways. While we watched, I played with my vibe. He stroked himself and we soon fucked with me on hands and knees. But first, he used the anal beads on me. It took a while to work them all in. The small ones go in easily but the last couple can take some work. He took breaks to fuck me briefly, I suppose to get my body used to having both holes filled before the largest diameter beads were in. Sometimes firm toys can prove to be painful when doing double insertion, but this worked out. The last two beads felt quite large. He murmured, “That’s it just two more to go,” and I relaxed my sphincter as best I could. I could feel my ass stretch to accommodate them.

He fucked me with the beads in. He’d tug on and wiggle the beads as he fucked me. I squirted a TON. The throe was sopping wet from that time forward. As we cuddled, I folded it over so I wasn’t laying in this huge wet spot. And yes, all that squirting went hand in hand with a massive series of orgasms. He caned me a bit after. The pain melted into pleasure and I probably could have come from the caning. (I have before.)

My body was sore and tired from exercise and all the fucking the night before at the club. But you know me, I’m nearly always ready for sex. I told MasterDoc how during that long fuck I kept thinking about him fucking me up the ass. He said that he had considered that. I told him that I thought maybe I should say, “Would you like to fuck my ass, Sir?” as a way to indicate I would like to, but still leaving him in control of course. I really should have said it, but better late than never. He tried fucking my ass, but for some reason we just couldn’t get the right angle. I tried flipping over the axis, but then I found myself face down in my own squirt. And while I generally think my squirt has a pleasing, light, musky smell, being nose to liquid was too much. I flipped the shape over again. When anal wouldn’t work, he fucked my pussy again for a while and then we tried anal with us laying on our sides. (I mention these sorts of things because this shit happens to us all. Sometimes sex doesn’t work the way you want it to. You just move on and try something else.) He got his cock in but it wasn’t the ideal position. Of course even in non-ideal positions I often come like a porn star in heat. This was no exception.

Soon after, he wanted to fuck me again and I couldn’t believe my incredible luck. He kept making me come so much! Four times in an afternoon! (And my orgasms are long, extended, multiple affairs usually.) MasterDoc got on top for a fuck after I placed a towel on top of all my squirt on the throe.

This sex was transcendent. I actually managed to open my eyes a few times to look into his. I’m sure the look in my eyes was one of helpless lust. He made me come for a long time. I have no idea how long it actually was, but it was much longer than most fucks last. My body turned into jelly and I actually stopped holding up my legs at one point – somehow my joints were suddenly more flexible than usual. I couldn’t feel anything but him fucking me.

While I recovered, for sex like that requires recovery, I was near tears of happiness from having so many overwhelming orgasms. I admitted that if MasterDoc said, “I’m worth it, aren’t I?” (when I’m faced with some pesky chore around his place) over the next few days, I couldn’t give any answer but an unqualified YES. (Depending on the task and the day, I sometimes grumble a bit, although I usually admit he’s worth it.)

I think he should start giving classes. More women need to enjoy the level of sex I do.

Awesome, Awesome Night

Published on May 4, 2011 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, couple, cunt, D/s, dom, embarrassment, exhibitionism, flogging, forced orgasm, foursome, horny, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, restraints, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

On Monday night we went to the swing club since I had off the next day. On the way there, MasterDoc pulled the car over by a porn store, the type with the porn booths that MasterDoc likes taking ladies to. I was feeling easily embarrassed somehow and hoped that perhaps this wasn’t happening. But he dragged me in, I felt super shy as we nodded hello to the guy working behind the counter. We got to the booths and I figured I was in the clear when there were no people there, but he walked me back out into the store where the employees were. He stood me in front of him, ostensibly looking at a display of porn box covers and started caressing my shoulders and grabbing hold of my hair. Fuck. He knows me. He knows the slight humiliation of getting turned on in public, and how he can do that to me effortlessly, would turn me on. My body twitched a bit, giving away my increasingly aroused state.

Thankfully, we were only there a short while. In the car as we continued to the club he said, “I should have a least let the guy who works there have a grope.” I’m sure I blushed at this. At the club, we met one of our usual pals there and had a nice chit chat. Veronica is the bartender but she also amuses the single guys. After the chat, MasterDoc went to use the restroom, and I felt shy while waiting alone. If guy comes over to me, I’m never sure if flirting is okay as MasterDoc decides who I play with. I probably seem like an aloof bitch sometimes. I assure you, it’s shyness rather than bitchiness. It also stems from knowing that giving some guys the least bit of polite attention will have them pursuing you all night long.

I watched the porn on the big screen. “Hey, is that Paris Hilton?” I thought. I usually disdain Ms. Hilton, but I gained a smidgen of respect (!) as I watched her blow her boyfriend. The girl’s got skillz.

I ask for a cuddle when MasterDoc gets back and he agreed we could use a cuddle. We hadn’t seen each other in a couple of days and therefore hadn’t cuddled. The cuddle turned into a little making out and him caressing my body. It amazes me still how, with him, simply having my breasts stroked (the top part mind you, not the nipples) I can get turned on tremendously. You know, being his trained monkey who gets turned on and comes at his command isn’t such a bad thing.

The room with the king bed was busy, so we headed to the chilly back room. I was very horny already and soon didn’t notice the cool air. We cuddled, caressed each other and kissed. I love feeling his body under my hand. He had me go down on him and I enjoyed every second. He managed to truly fuck my throat at one point. It was pretty awesome. He thrust in, I could feel the ridge of his cock head press pass some spot in my throat and I have trained my gag reflex pretty well by now – I didn’t start gagging until a few deep thrusts had been achieved. A guy came in to watch sometime during this. MasterDoc had me get on hands and knees so my ass was facing the room. He showed me off, using a flashlight to highlight my pussy. I felt thrilled and embarrassed (and thrilled to be embarrassed) by the attention. He used clothespins on my labia, but I was so engrossed in being a slut on display that I didn’t pay much attention to them. He inserted the anal beads. I’ve found though that I can’t often tell exactly which toy is up my ass. I don’t seem to have the right amount of sensation for details there, but I knew I was being filled with something, He flogged me a bit, telling the guy how much I love being shown off. He had the guy hold my butt cheek out of the way one time and I could never be sure exactly whose hands were touching my cunt (I think it was always him other than the butt cheek thing). He made me come for an extended period of time and I was exhausted. Or so I thought.

We dressed and MasterDoc noticed a couple with a hot woman. He started chatting up the couple, and I joined him in being friendly. I didn’t have a problem with the guy as sometimes happens, and I was doing my best to help MasterDoc get in the hot woman’s skirt. We ended up showing them our bag of tricks. They were from out of town and friendly in that southern way. I really think I’d have better conversational skills had I been raised in the south. The woman was shy and quiet, but her man was very talkative. They seemed quite nice. MasterDoc made me come via magic wand and fingering when it came out that the guy in the couple had never seen a woman squirt. Of course I did. He thought it was awesome.

We rested on the bed, chatting with the couple as she stood against the wall and her guy sat on an ottoman. MasterDoc was doing his best to be charming and get the lady’s attention. The guy was fascinated by our toy bag and I ended up in the behind-the-back restraints. After he got them on, he told me to kneel in them, and I’m sure my struggle to get myself upright was fun to watch. He had me lean forward so that I was resting on my head and shoulders. I told him that was very uncomfortable (as ending up with a neckache is not a desirable outcome) and he told me I just had to do it for a little while. I think I was the definition of helpless with my ass in the air and hands behind my back. He let me sit, and I stayed there for a while sitting next to him with my arms behind my back. MasterDoc spread my legs and played with my cunt. He made me come again through slapping my cunt – I think he really enjoyed showing off that he could do that. The sheets were pretty damn wet by now.

I’m slowly starting to realize that a woman like me can be intimidating for a man. I don’t think of myself as intimidating, but being so in control of my sexuality (and choosing to hand that control over to MasterDoc) and so comfortable with having sex in front of people does intimidate guys. I tell you, if a slutty woman is interested in playing with you, don’t be intimidated – go for it! We love sex. Even if it’s not the most amazing sex we ever had, odds are if we’re mutually interested in fucking you we will enjoy it too. I don’t think loving sex is at all a bad thing. Religion doesn’t know what it’s talking about.

I stripped the wet sheets from the bed and we went to the main room. It seemed like the woman in the couple wasn’t too interested, but soon the guy from the couple came over and asked if I wanted to make his wife come. I’m certainly game to make an attractive woman come, and I’m sure our men would enjoy watching. Also, perhaps if this woman was warmed up MasterDoc might get somewhere with her. MasterDoc gave his assent (I’m his slut, he decides) and we adjourned to the king room again. We had to find someone to put new sheets on. There was initial awkwardness as her shyness continued and MasterDoc talked about how I’m not the aggressive type – the problem was she’s not either. She got undressed to try to move things along and I felt freer to start playing with her. Her body was perfectly toned, her augmented breasts standing up perkily. Her husband suggested I use a toy and I used my siri on her clit then worked my fingers inside. I made her come pretty damn quickly and it was fun to watch, she just about did a crab walk backwards on the bed because of the intensity of the stimulation. I totally understand why MasterDoc sometimes chuckles when I’m coming like crazy.

I took my bra off and even though this woman was pretty much our society’s ideal (except she wasn’t young) she sounded envious when she commented on how big my breasts are and how they’re real. It’s terrible how nearly all women seem to have body issues these days. She made me come next, using just her hands and MasterDoc lent a hand. I squirted again.

I felt pretty damn tired, but MasterDoc wanted to fuck and I did want his cock. I sucked him til he was hard. He played with my pussy which of course was sopping wet. He fucked me from behind while at least one guy watched and he pushed me over the edge (orgasm-wise) with relative ease. (Remember, I don’t just get to come, I need to hold back as long as I can but if he drives me crazy he won’t get mad if I come before he’s said the word.) I was totally lost in lala land during orgasm after orgasm. I can only imagine what my face looked like. I think sometime I need someone to film me coming so I can see it.

It was an awesome fuck. He kept going and going, and guess what? I squirted again. A whole lot. It was just as well I hadn’t taken the last sheet off but instead suggested to MasterDoc that we use the same room because I had already besmirched the sheet.

I was so tired (having worked all day, exercised in the evening and then came, and came and came) that I just lay there after. He had me spread my legs to show guy my pussy to the guy there while I rested. He gave guy the flashlight to get a better look.

MasterDoc nearly had to cart me home. I slept like a proverbial log that night.

As an aside, in the midst of our trying to flirt with the couple, a guy from Spain (he told us he was from Spain) appeared with two hot Mexican chicks. The guy was aggressive in trying to set something up with the couple. The women looked eager to play. I later caught sight of them making out with each other – I wanted to be in the middle of that! Sadly, this was not to be.

MasterDoc, the Cure for What Ails Me

Published on April 25, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, bondage, caning, crazy, D/s, derangement, dom, emotions, forced orgasm, gags, kink, libido, masochism, neurosis, restraints, sex, sex parties, shio, spanking, squirting, trust and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

The rest of the weekend was uneven in quality. On Friday, I hung out with Blondie in SoHo and the east Village. I had a great time but carrying a too large, too heavy purse screwed up my back. MasterDoc was planning on schtuping me that night, which hadn’t happened since the previous Monday due to various plans and time constraints. With my back bothering me so much, I wasn’t up for it. I was frustrated to no end, but I couldn’t manage the pain of the back and staying in a sex position for too long. I tried to write it off considering the next evening I was going to be his date to a kink party. DeeDee was going with her other boyfriend.

MasterDoc did massage my back (isn’t he a nice Dom?) and cuddle a little, but PMDD was setting in and I felt abandoned when, my eyes closed while resting, he left me alone in the bedroom. The madness that can come with a particularly bad bout of PMDD was strong, and I started thinking… no, I started being convinced that MasterDoc was bored with me and/or no longer attracted to me. This resulted in a heavy depression on Saturday. I took a trip downtown to get my hair cut and found myself not having any impetus afterward to do anything but wander around in the rain until I could catch the next express bus. I tried to perk up in time for the party. MasterDoc was concerned about taking me out because of the depression, and unfortunately that proved founded.

All night, somehow our wires crossed and things ended up badly. I just kept longing for him to hug me, to cuddle me, to touch me and tell me everything was all right. I wanted him to play with me since it had been a little while and reestablishing that connection would feel so good to my depressed, insecure brain. On his end, he says that I put up walls and made it impossible to connect with me. I felt like he wasn’t really trying. Oy. We did connect for just long enough for him to make me come, and squirt a little, but when he became engrossed with watching another D/s couple play, I felt ignored and threatened because the other woman had a much hotter body than me. Meanwhile MasterDoc was enjoying watching the connection of the other couple because they seemed to have the sort of unspoken connection he and I so often have.

Please allow me to say, I don’t like myself when I’m depressed. I don’t like being depressed. With many people, I can hold off on getting downright hysterical, but I think because I trust MasterDoc so much I often suddenly direct any sadness and rage at him. I hate when I do this. At the time, the idea of being no longer attractive or interesting felt entirely real to me. I’m sure anyone reading this can see that it was just the PMDD.

The following morning was tearful. But thankfully I was ultimately able to realize that he wasn’t shunning me the night before (even if that’s how I felt) and I was probably putting up walls (even if I didn’t think I was) and that we love each other very much. My intense feelings of anger and sadness came out of worrying that he didn’t want me anymore. As ridiculous as that sounds it was insanely intense.

The depression lasted the rest of the weekend, but I was able to reconnect with MasterDoc. Having him cuddle me soothed my crazy brain. He took me into the bedroom and employed playing techniques that I had been clamoring for. Like the couple we saw the prior evening, he cuffed my hands behind my back, and he used a strip of duct tape to gag me. I lay over the Liberator Axis and he gave me a good caning. My pain tolerance was lousy and I wished I could move out of the way – but with my hands behind me I couldn’t push myself up. I couldn’t even wiggle out of the way. I had to trust that he would judge the right amount of pain to induce an endorphin rush. While the caning hurt like the dickens, I think it had the right effect on my brain chemistry.

He told me to get up on hands and knees, and I mumbled through the gag that I couldn’t get on my hands with them behind my back. I was still gagged, and struggling to breathe slowly through the one clear nostril I had. (You see, if you breathe in too sharply your nasal passage narrows.) He slipped a condom on and fucked me with my arms secured behind my back. It was so worth waiting for. He fucked me long and hard. I know that phrase is totally overused but it’s the best description. He kept pounding me until I couldn’t hold back and I came. It was a magnificent orgasm, but I felt like I was suffocating and that abruptly stopped my body and compelled me to manage to move my arms around to the side just enough to rip off the duct tape. MasterDoc joked that he’s a doctor and wouldn’t let anything happen to me. If I passed out he’d be there. I know breath play can be hot but it often just makes me anxious. He understood that the anxiety was too much. He fucked me again, with my wrists released and the tape off, and that time I had every possible orgasm wrung from my body.

My depression was lifted for the entire time I was fucking and coming. Hey, how could I feel depressed mid-orgasm? (Although if it’s possible I’m sure I can do it.) After cuddles to further soothe my savage soul he had me get on top. We tried doing it with my cuffs linked but I couldn’t lean forward onto my hands and as a result my hips and thighs got such a workout that I was promptly exhausted. MasterDoc put me on the bottom, and he fucked me silly again. I’ve always loved sex with MasterDoc, but holy fuck now that he gets testosterone supplements and he’s lost some weight he can fuck harder and longer. It’s wonderfully bewildering to have a Dom in his mid-50′s fuck better than guys half his age.

I felt better having reconnected and gotten fucked. My hormones still raged and I found myself feeling teary, but thankfully I was no longer aiming my mad and sad feelings at MasterDoc. (He should be made the first Jewish saint for dealing with my anger when I’m depressed. It hurts him, even if he knows it’s just the chemical imbalance talking.) Feeling his skin pressed against me is soothing. While he can’t magically cure my PMDD, he has the capacity to make it better, even if only for a little while.

Heh. Saint MasterDoc, patron saint of wayward women. (By the way, I managed to leave out of the flow of the story that I blew him for a while, and then later in the evening I helped him come with prostate massage. So my Sir did get direct appreciation shown for him putting up with me.)

Just the Two of Us

Published on April 6, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, kink, masochism, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Monday night, MasterDoc commented on how I seem to skip blogging about sex when it’s just him and I lately. Now, this is probably true only for last week, and on some level he was teasing me with the guilt. But I’m sure there was a smidgen of hurt there. It’s certainly not due to our sex as a couple being any less interesting (although I suppose multi-party sex is more uncommon and therefore more interesting in general).

When I hang out at MasterDoc’s for the evening, I try not to assume I’m getting sex. After all, DeeDee needs time alone with him and sex alone with him too. Nearly every evening I’m up for sex, but I try to be patient until I find out what he has in mind. I’m welcome to suggest sex, I just can’t assume that asking for it means I’ll get it. Monday night was one of those evenings when I was hoping but being patient. I was thrilled when he asked me if I wanted to fuck.

We were soon tucked away in the bedroom and he had me suck his cock, which he often does first. He says it’s a good time for him to plot out what he’s going to do that evening. As I sucked on his firm cock flesh, I thought to myself that the problem therein is that he goes from getting warmed up and naughty ideas to wanting to fuck right away, and I’m not always warmed up from just cock sucking. I love it, but it doesn’t always make me adequately wet. (Yes, lube comes in very handy. I kinda suspect some medication I’m on has decreased my wetness as I used to get wet much easier (and more consistently) than I do lately.) If I’m horny but not quite ready I will often just go with the flow and slap on some lube. He’s gotten really good about slowly penetrating me until my vagina opens up for sex. (Did you know that during arousal/foreplay the vagina lengthens and widens to get ready for sex? The kinky librarian is also educational!)

While he told me to get on hands and knees, and he slapped some latex on his cock, he took his time playing with me a bit. He swabbed the left side of my ass off with alcohol.

“I like these needles better than acupuncture needles. Maybe it’s because of my background,” he said as he grabbed a chunk of my flesh and slid a hypodermic needle through the skin. He generally does two needles and this time was no different. I wasn’t initially in a needle mood – I felt afraid of the pain and my ability to deal with it. My pain tolerance varies. I had a hard time eroticizing the pain like I usually do. He took a cane to the needles after they were stuck in my ass and it hurt! It reminded me of my very first needle play experience at a class during Floating World (east coast kink convention) a couple of years ago. The “mean lady,” as I dubbed her, who was teaching the class stuck my upper arm viciously even though I had said it was my very first experience. She then slapped on the needles and I shrieked in pain.

This wasn’t as bad. I have a level of trust with MasterDoc far beyond that of some woman I’d never met who was giving a class. I think I’ve explained here before that this masochist (for I can’t speak for all masochists) experiences a couple different types of pain – there’s the pain that’s distracting and keeps me from thinking about anything other than what hurts. The good pain is pain that feels more like a general sensation rather than what I recognize usually as pain – or – it hurts but I can breathe through it and the energy seems to turn into an endorphin rush soon enough. Unfortunately, the kind of pain that comes from a backache or illness doesn’t turn into endorphins. It just sucks.

But I digress. I continued to feel anxious that he was going to mess around with the needles in my ass and how that would feel. But he fucked me and I tried to put that out of my mind. And I would, until he poked at the needles again. He commented on how I was bleeding, which is usually quite minimal. I felt him wipe at the blood with his finger a little. He continued fucking me. As a doctor, he is not the least bit squeamish about blood. I soon forgot about the needles and focused on his cock. I’m not even sure when he pulled the needles out, it was just an undefinable pain and I assumed it was the needles being struck.

He fucked me until I was whimpering from the desire to come, and then pressed on further. I wondered if he was going to push me into coming. A moment later he gave me the order to come. No pushing necessary. I came and it was an absolutely stellar experience. While every orgasm is pretty damn amazing with MasterDoc, this just seemed like it was more affecting somehow. He kept me coming for a long time, as always. I don’t think anyone has pushed me to come for as long as he does. How marvelous to be with a man who makes you come longer, harder than anyone else has ever bothered to try!

Apparently I’m in a gushy mood tonight. Motion sickness bags can be found in the seat-back in front of you.

I squirted when he exchanged his penis for fingers in my cunt for a little while. The throe was soaked. He fucked me some more, and then fingered me for a bit, and then fucked me some more.

Finally, we collapsed.

I was a very happy puppy.

Busy Beaver, Part Two

Published on April 3, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, cunt, D/s, edge play, fire cupping, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, needle play, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

After work the next evening, Blondie was slated to come over to play with me and MasterDoc. The two of them had been hatching plans. She was curious to learn catheterization, and Doc, having training in such things, showed her how to do it – on my urethra.

They didn’t start with that, thankfully.

After dinner, they hid in the playroom to set up their diabolical plans. As I sat in the living room with DeeDee, she informed me that I’ve been having terrible abdominal pain, and that’s why I was there to see the “doctors.” Uhm hum. She then started teasing me, being an office manager Dom harassing me about my insurance not going through. It was pretty funny.

The doctors called me in to their examining room. After a brief consultation about the abdominal pains I didn’t know enough about to describe. (I think I’m terrible at medical role play.) I was told to get undressed, and I joked about keeping my socks on – after all, even the gynecologist lets me keep my socks on. I lay down on the bed, which had the Liberator wedge on it to tilt my pelvis up. The doctors started with some suction pump on my tits. It was uncomfortable but bearable. Then the lady doctor (Blondie, who in real life knows acupuncture) showed MasterDoc how to do fire cupping. This is a technique used in Chinese medicine. Glass “cups” (kinda shaped like round jars, with a lip) have a flame (alcohol-soaked cotton ball on fire) run around the inside of them and then the cups are promptly placed on the flesh – it forms a vacuum.

I soon had both nipples, my stomach, and my thighs being sucked uncomfortably into the cups. As the pressurized flesh turned purple, I was afraid of bruising. (The last time I had fire cupping done was for acupuncture, and it looked like I had been sucked on by an alien creature for about a week.) This morning there isn’t much in the way of marks. Blondie placed one of the big cups over my pussy and it sucked my labia in. It felt strange to me, Blondie likes the sensation. It didn’t bother me but it didn’t arouse me either.

They moved on to needles – acupuncture needles are easy to handle. MasterDoc wanted to use some of our regular hypodermic needles for play, but I was happy to just have the very thin acupuncture needles pressed into my flesh. The points on my ear hurt, but otherwise there was no problem. Blondie taught MasterDoc acupuncture needling. She also showed him how to put moxa on the ends of a few needles and then light it to add heat to them.

Chinese medical play finished, they got me laying over the wedge so my pelvis was tilted. Unfortunately I kept slipping down the shape and putting pressure on my poor neck. MasterDoc went to use a speculum to open me up. It hurt though, but I should put in an aside for new readers that back in 2005 I was assaulted by someone using a speculum on me in a sexual situation who then didn’t stop when I told them to. I was traumatized. I just can’t get into specula in a sexual situation. I can tolerate them at the gyno office, but last night it was more triggering. MasterDoc knows this part of my history (as does Blondie), so he of course didn’t pursue it when I said it hurt too much. He knows that he has enough experience inserting specula that it wasn’t his technique, it was my history that caused the pain and anxiety.

Writing about that just now felt more triggering than it did last night. MasterDoc handled the situation well and I was able to just move on. Next, came the catheterization. MasterDoc explained what he was doing while he was doing it. It was terribly uncomfortable (to me) to have that thing slide into my urethra. Once in place it was bearable, but I’m just not someone turned on by urethral stimulation (though others are). They drained my bladder into a cup. I can see how this is hot for some people, the control over a basic bodily function like that, but I haven’t as of yet gotten into it.

Over the course of the night it became clear that medical play mostly isn’t my thing, but since they were enjoying it, I was able to submit and let them have their fun. I knew something I’m into would come along sooner or later. Blondie picked up on how the medical play just doesn’t do it for me (for the most part). If I were to choose a role play scenario I’d probably choose something like the king and the serving girl, or the professor and naughty student. Or the slut and the random strangers who take her and ravish her. Or being kidnapped, bound and molested.

The magic wand got brought out at this point, and Blondie used it on my clit while MasterDoc fingered my pussy. They forced tons of orgasms out of me. Orgasms and squirt. Huzzah! See, I knew there would be something for me. We took a break after.

Blondie wanted to feel the fire cupping on her pussy too, so MasterDoc tried his hand at it. After a few failed attempts he got it to suction on to her pussy – pulling her labia out into this beautiful flower shape. We called DeeDee in to take a look, and I tried taking photos. The photos didn’t come out well though since the glass of the cup reflects too much light. Blondie liked how it felt and I used the magic wand vibrating on the cup attached to her pussy. She loved the feeling. After a while she agreed that it was probably best to release her swollen labia, and they remained swollen for the rest of the evening! It was something to behold.

MasterDoc made Blondie come, and I loved cuddling and caressing her upper body, enjoying the intimacy of being part of her orgasm. We got some cuddling in and I realized how much I had missed cuddling her.

Blondie did some rope bondage on me (something MasterDoc isn’t good at) and I loved the rope. She did a simple harness (not quite snug enough since I’m new to it and she didn’t want to have it too tight). MasterDoc grabbed me and kissed me while she worked on the harness. She also showed me how to do an easy tie to create a sort of spreader bar of rope between one’s ankles. It was very short (we don’t exactly have a good stash of rope around here). We tried getting me into position to fuck and unfortunately the ankles needed to be undone. But MasterDoc then fucked me from on top while I still wore the rope harness, and Blondie tortured my nipples during this. I got to come very hard again.

MasterDoc wandered off for a bit. Blondie and I cuddled and chatted. It was getting late and she planned to head home. MasterDoc, ever the gentleman, walked her to the subway.

I was very happy. And very satisfied. I’m feeling wiped out today from all my adventures.

The Key to a Good Evening

Published on March 27, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, caning, consensual non-consent, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, exhibitionism, forced orgasm, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

DeeDee opted to stay home when we went out Friday night. MasterDoc had made her come so hard in the afternoon (while he was fucking her up the ass and she was using the magic wand) that she developed a terrible sex headache. He later bragged about this to one of the porn stars visiting the swing club.

While we were walking to his car, I realized that I didn’t have a spare key for his new-to-him car. He said that’s right, because right now there’s only one key. He has to get copies made.

Yes folks, this is foreshadowing.

We rode to the swing club in his car. I’m pleased to say it has a much better ride than his old one. It was terribly cold last night because apparently winter decided to turn around and come back to the northeast for a while. I scurried to the club since we parked down the block. Once inside, I stripped down to the mesh/lace/satin camisole I was wearing under my street clothes. I was cold still, so I kept my black cardigan on. Yes, I’m that woman who is dressed semi-sexy at the swing club because she’s cold.

We settled in, those details are pretty mundane. As we scoped out a room to play in, it was kinda odd to walk by a guy standing just inside the room we prefer with his shirt off, dick out and stroking his hard cock. He was reasonably attractive and quite fit but, uh, this struck me as creepy. I don’t know if it would strike anyone else the same way though. We laughed about how we needed to push past this wanking dude to get to the king size bed. MasterDoc ultimately decided we were just simply going to do that.

We got settled on the bed, and I was very much in sub mode. I felt even more shy than usual and avoided all eye contact with others. I scarcely knew how many guys were in the room at any time. MasterDoc had me suck his cock and he got into being quite rough and dominant – more so than he usually is at a swing club. He choked me on it a few times – holding my head down long enough that a bit of panic would set in. I’d pull away when I could, take a deep breath, and then he’d put me right back on his cock. I loved it.

The cock sucking, with occasional choking, went on for a while. My mouth was watering and nose a little sniffly by the time we were done. He had me kneel and face the doorway. I still had my sweater on, and while he did things to me I pretty much buried my face in my arms. It’s strange how I was so much more self-conscious than usual. I mean, I don’t like making eye contact to start with, but I really didn’t want to see or be seen (facially anyway) at all. A bit later I felt concerned that people might think we shouldn’t be naked (cuz we don’t have hot bodies) which is odd since I didn’t worry about this when I we were both about 50 lbs heavier! I ultimately told myself that it didn’t matter since I was having such amazing sex with a man I’m totally hot for. Who cares what other people think? I had a great time.

MasterDoc spanked the shit out of me. He caned me a bit, it sounded like there was at least a small appreciative audience. I was bewildered a little because he’s never quite that rough with me in public. He fingered me for a while, and while initially his fingernail scraped inside a bit uncomfortably, I was able to move past that. When he told me to come, I came. It was hard to keep coming when he’d hit my ass really hard again, but I came for a while.

He turned me around, and fucked me from behind. Tabitha, the porn star we’ve seen at the club before, came in and said hello. As I started getting distracted by the conversation between her and MasterDoc, MasterDoc would start pounding my cunt hard with his cock. Fuck. It was so hot the way he had me there moaning, incoherent, while he casually carried on a flirtatious conversation, trying to line up a fuck for later in the evening.

After Tabitha left, he really went at me and made me come til I squirted all over the bed. When we were finished and I got up, I found that the front hem of my chemise was soaked; totally soaked with my juices. I was happy but so tired. We cuddled a bit – I found that I was thrown off a little by such rough usage in a club. (He called me a bitch at lot. He told me to choke on his cock several times. It was hot but intense.) I felt like I needed to reconnect with the loving Dom after having spent time with the rough, mean one.

After a bit, we were both horny again from touching each other. He was stroking his cock and I was getting antsy for more fucking. We put me on my back and he went at it. He asked a guy to hold my leg and the guy did. An elderly guy reached out to touch the other but MasterDoc told him not to touch since he hadn’t told him he could touch. Trouble was, the bed (which is really an unfolded futon on a frame) started sagging towards my head and I started slipping that way. It was too uncomfortable for my back so I had to speak up. We regrouped, and he fucked me some more from on top.

This time another guy (at least, as far as I know it was a different guy – but I’m not sure) held my other leg but he pissed me off by yanking it too far outward. I told him not to do that as it hurt. Then he shifted to stroking my leg but the guy had the finesse of a spastic child. In the end, there was no way I was going to come with that dude touching me and totally distracting me.

We rested a bit, and he had me masturbate to another orgasm – which was pretty damn hot. But I realized that I was so, so tired. Since the time change I’ve been waking up too early and have been more tired than usual. All the fucking and coming had worn me out too.

We ended up sitting out in the social area, and we watched Tabitha flirt and let guys grope her. They were drawn like bees to flowers. On the sofa across from me sat this positively beautiful young man. Blond, fit, dressed well. I told MasterDoc that if I wasn’t so damn tired I’d want to fuck the guy. I kept looking at him. So perfect. He reminded me a little of Prince William when he was a very young man, before his hair started thinning and he started to look so much like his father. But I suppose this guy was better looking. MasterDoc teased me that he thought the guy might be underage. I figure since ID has to be shown to get in, that I’d be able to argue that even if he *was* underage that it was entirely reasonable that I would expect anyone I meet in there to be of age.

MasterDoc had me get on my knees and suck his cock for a while. It was a hard position to hold my back in, so I didn’t last long, but I think when I got up the cute young guy must have been looking since it appeared he was in the process of looking away.

The hot guy joined the throng around Tabitha for a bit. A nice looking couple sat in his place and MasterDoc and I both ogled the woman. She was hot, kinda nerdy, dressed more conservatively than you’d think someone would dress in a swing club. When her guy went to get them drinks, MasterDoc tried to strike up a conversation with her, but to no avail. I tried making eye contact too, but I think there wasn’t any interest.

I was incredibly tired. It was early still, around 11:30, but I just didn’t think I could do any more activity. MasterDoc agreed we could go home. (But of course he asked me a few times, “You’re sure you’re too tired, right?”) We got dressed, got our stuff out of the locker, and got our coats. But when MasterDoc checked his coat, he couldn’t find his keys. He had been concerned when he didn’t find them in the locker, but we figured they must be in his jacket. Nope.

I had my keys with me, but you have to remember that his was the ring with the only copy of the car key on it. Oy.

He tore the club apart looking. He offered to get me a cab to take me home while he waited for AAA. I decided I wasn’t tired enough to ask him to spend that money. I settled on the sofa in the social area, right near the bar, and lay down for a while. I figured no one would fuck with me there, plus I was fully dressed anyway. I rested the best I could although fatigue and the loud music was starting to give me a headache and even a bit of teeth-grinding. But somehow I stayed patient. I just reminded myself that the situation was what it was and getting upset wouldn’t change it.

MasterDoc came in and found me, and told me the good and bad news. Good news was he found the keys. The bad news was they were locked in his car in the ignition. Well at least he wouldn’t have to pay for locks on his car to be changed. We just had to wait for AAA to send someone to get into the car. MasterDoc wondered aloud if he could go fuck while he waited, and I told him he was certainly welcome to as far as I was concerned (not that he needs my permission!). I had a place to lay down and there was no reason he shouldn’t enjoy himself. He went off but soon came back as there was too long a line around Tabitha. He checked again later but I don’t think he got his extracurricular fuck that night.

AAA called MasterDoc’s cell phone and he went out to the car to meet them. I used the loo one last time and joined him after. They were just getting the car door open when I got there. It was freezing (I am so sick of the months of cold weather we’ve had around here!) but MasterDoc started up the car to warm me up while he settled with the guy who got the door open. Happily, over an hour after we tried to leave, we got on the road and went home.

Feel the Beat

Published on March 19, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, flogging, forced orgasm, happy, horny, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

MasterDoc wasn’t sure that he’d have time for me Friday, my day off. But I lucked out and all the horniness and desire for kink that was stoked by #fucktoyfriday on twitter got an outlet. (Fuck Toy Friday is a hashtag created by Saynine. Each Friday kinksters share naughty tweets and photos relating to being or using a sub as a fuck toy.) We didn’t have a long time together, but MasterDoc was in the mood to give an ass whuppin’ and, damn, did he! He used, among other implements, the heaviest cane and the evil strap. He was trying to leave marks but it’s gotten so hard to leave marks on my butt. The next day, there was nothing whatsoever in the way of marks.

But it hurt. He really made me hurt. And I did my best to breathe slowly and go with it. He would intersperse slapping or running a vibrator over my cunt with more hard slaps to my ass. He took the floggers to me and I can’t tell you how long the beating went on for. He’s not usually quite so sadistic (not a physical sadist anyway) but I knew that if I rode the pain out that a yummy endorphin rush would follow. He asked me if I’m a very lucky girl as he smacked my ass. I struggled but replied, “Yes, Sir!” between cane strikes even though I wasn’t feeling so sure I was lucky in the midst of this particular beating. I cried out and cursed more often than I usually do during a beating, but I managed to not pull away from the blows as much as I usually do.

When he took up the small flogger, I had to move my feet as far out of the way as I could. I hate when my feet get smacked as collateral damage during a flogging. I end up in this awkward position – on my knees, feet out as far to the sides as I can manage. After a good, long beating, he inserted my soraya vibrator but it wasn’t working at that angle – I think it pressed too hard into my pubic bone from that position. He removed it when I said it hurt (and not in a good, kinky beating sort of hurt). He put an acrylic dildo in my ass and the end hung out like a tail. It felt great. I haven’t had nearly enough ass play lately. He talked about maybe fucking me up the ass, but in the end he didn’t.

He praised me for starting to play with my cunt as he got a condom and put it on. I figured I could do my part to ensure I was warmed up adequately for fucking, although the beating seemed to do the trick quite well. He tried to fuck me with the toy in ass but it hurt so he removed it. He fucked me but good. He would intersperse caning and slapping my ass with fucking me hard.

The fucking put me into a lovely headspace as I moaned with each thrust. It wasn’t easy to take the extended beating, but I managed it just fine. I was soon moaning, wanting to come. When he gave permission, I had no trouble coming. He kept fucking me through lots and lots of orgasms. At that point I felt like the lucky girl I had declared I was earlier!

After the long beating, followed by the long fucking, I collapsed on the bed, exhausted. A short while later he wanted to fuck again. He asked if I could get on top for a ride, but unfortunately my knees were sore from having knelt so long. I was glad he opted to get on top of me. He drove me crazy, teasing me with just a little of his cock inside me, the head of his thick cock pressing against my g-spot. He made me come again, and squirt a bit, and then come again. He kept using his big cock to plow me. He’d move his hips around to make his cock move around inside. He demonstrated his ability to make me come as long as he wants to.

Damn, writing this is making me horny!

We had some cuddles after. (I had been in a more cuddly mood to start with, but I think the beating was fabulous too.) I was so happy and feeling so lucky. I tried to soak up the feelings since I probably won’t see him next until Monday night. But the lonely mood that had been brewing that day was gone, and I walked home happy.

“Thank you for being with me.” “Thank you for having me, Sir.”

Published on February 21, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, caning, D/s, DeeDee, gags, happy, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I got my evening alone with MasterDoc on Tuesday. DeeDee retired to her room to get stuff done, and I ended up in the playroom sucking MasterDoc’s cock. He often tells me to take my time, but I like shoving it down my throat as soon as possible. I don’t always have enough saliva so a little choking early on gets it flowing.

Continuing in the humiliation play vein, MasterDoc told me to get my collar. He asked if I could crawl to the closet near the front door to look for the duct tape so he could gag me. I mentioned that I fit the athletic knee pads he has better now, and with them on I could handle it. Once my collar and the knee pads were on, he instructed me to crawl to DeeDee’s room first and say hello. Then I could crawl to the closet to look for duct tape. I hid my face in my hands in embarrassment and told him I couldn’t do that.

“Oh please Sir, please don’t make me do that!”

He did.

I crawled across the wood floor to DeeDee’s room and knocked from my spot on all fours. I ducked my head in when she said hello, and while embarrassed I knew she would understand. I chatted briefly with her and explained what I was doing on all fours. She said, “Sounds like you’re in for quite an evening! Enjoy!”

I crawled away and down the long hallway. I couldn’t find the duct tape with the other tools and such. I had to crawl back and let MasterDoc know. He didn’t mind and I pointed out that we had gags and bondage tape. He liked the bondage tape idea. Before he’d let me get up from the floor, he had me bark like a dog a bit. I find that while silly and embarrassing, I can do the barking without too much self-consciousness. (In private. I think in public it would be significantly more difficult.)

He had me get on all fours on the bed for the beating I was so in need of. He caned me, hard. But still, he made me come from the caning alone. Sometimes I surprise even myself with how this little masochist can manage to turn pain into pleasure.

He fucked me from behind but unfortunately as I ended up pressed forward over the axis shape the angle ended up wrong. It felt like his cock was pushing against my intestines and uterus. I couldn’t come when he gave the command – something that rarely happens, but as we’re only human it does happen sometimes.

MasterDoc decided to rectify the situation by putting bondage tape around my head, covering my mouth. Gags make me so hot. I definitely find helplessness hot. He used his hand and made me come hard. When he slaps my cunt I come. I loved feeling like his slut. I hadn’t worried when I didn’t manage to come earlier, I knew he could ensure I came. I’m so glad to have a Dom who’s not into orgasm denial. My masochism does NOT extend into going without orgasm for a long time.

The title of this post comes from when we were cuddling after. He said, “Thank you for being with me.” He’s wonderful about saying things like that. I’m not always good at hearing them. I heard him this time and replied, “Thank you for having me, Sir.”