Archive for the 'lesbian' Category

Why The Lesbian Sheep Dance?

Published on July 16, 2010 in Uncategorized, anxiety, attraction, bisexuality, lesbian, musings, poly and sexuality. 1 Comment

The other day MasterDoc asked me if, when it comes to dating women, I sabotage myself. I had to say yes, I think I do but of course figuring out why is much harder.

I do wonder if I have some deeply internalized homophobia going on – as in, being gay is just fine but oooh I’d be a bad person if I did it. Perhaps my upbringing in a Catholic family (albeit rather lapsed), in the suburbs (where people tend to conform even more), during the 80′s (you never saw openly gay kids in high school back then – at least not in the burbs where I was, and blatant homophobia was rampant) all contributed to this state of affairs. My grandmother, who I grew up in the house with, would have flipped out over my brother being gay or me being bi. She was deeply distressed back when Rosie O’Donnell came out. She liked Rosie and was bewildered to find that she’s “a gay.” I pointed out to her that she was still the same exact person she enjoyed watching on tv before, only now she knew more about her private life than before.

My grandmother passed away in 2002, and while I was out to myself as bi (and had had sex with women by then) I was totally closeted as far as my family was concerned. I’m still not out to my dad. My brother only came out as gay around 2006 (he’s much younger than me, he was around 23 at the time). My father, who I was always close to, is deeply uncomfortable with homosexuality. He’s a 62-year-old man who grew up in a Catholic family during an era when homosexuality was truly vilified (hey, he grew up in New York pre-Stonewall). In so many ways my dad is a spectacular guy – but he cannot seem to get it into his head that homosexuality is not a choice, does not do bad things to your soul, and ultimately is a natural part of the world. He would never be mean or antagonistic towards someone he knew was gay, but he would be deeply uncomfortable.

Since I’ve been closer to my dad than my mom, it’s not surprising that after my brother came out I came out to my mother – because frankly I could give a shit if she didn’t like it. But I’m really afraid of disappointing my father. Already, he’s struggling with the whole poly thing and he hasn’t even met MasterDoc yet (and has no idea he’s much older than me). Imagine if I threw a girlfriend into the mix?

My mother was totally accepting of both my brother and I – though I don’t think she quite “gets” that poly is an ongoing thing and not just something you do until you settle down. Her family was far more liberal than my father’s ever was. (The aforementioned grandmother who I grew up with was dad’s mom.) And while my brother is gay and open-minded in some ways, he does identify still as Roman Catholic (says his Facebook page) and *shudder* republican. Being the way out left liberal that I am kinda makes me the black sheep of my immediate family. They’re largely used to and embracing of how “unique” I am, but there’s still some things best not discussed around family. I’m used to keeping parts of myself and my life secret from them.

So do I sabotage myself? It’s possible. Why don’t I ever EVER make a move on a woman I’m interested in? If a woman I like pursues me, then we’re fine, but as so many of us ladies do the lesbian sheep dance it leaves me in a position where I long for a woman in my life, but never quite get one. How can I work through this and get over my subconscious hang up?

The Lesbian Sheep Dance

Published on April 11, 2010 in Uncategorized, attraction, bisexuality, blogs, lesbian and vacation. 7 Comments

So as I’ve quite openly mentioned on my twitter feed, I just visited Seattle for a few days. I’d never been to the Pacific Northwest before. I always had the impression I’d like it and I really enjoyed my short time there. Seattle is clean, the people are polite and it’s just generally a nice place to be. The weather was changeable and I’ve said it reminds me of weather in England. However, I’m told that the weather the past few days has been more changeable than usual.

I consumed a lot of coffee because it seems like the thing to do out there and it helped me deal with jet lag. I’m going to have a hard time getting back on New York time tonight. I stayed with my friend Liz, who used to be MasterDoc’s roomate. It’s been great seeing her again, and she also has a positively adorable, sweet dog. Seriously, I think I’d like to  come out just to visit the dog. She and her husband were great hosts and I’m thankful to have them to stay with – not only for the companionship and visiting but also because I saved a shit ton of money not staying in a hotel.

I got to meet fellow blogger Coy Pink, who was a big part of my decision to visit Seattle. We’ve been friendly online for a while and she just seemed so nice (and hot – have you seen her pictures?) She also offered that her husband Alec, a photographer, could take pictures of me – sexy pics for the blog that also have the advantage of being photographed by someone who really knows the art of photography – not just me and my friends and a point and shoot camera which is my usual.

On Thursday Coy Pink and her daughters showed me around the city a bit. Her daughters are adorable and very bright. That night she and I had dinner together, and we could finally talk about grown up, sex blogger things. I spent Friday exploring the city alone, and in the afternoon I met up with Twisted Monk briefly for coffee and to see his rope factory. (It’s small, smaller than you would envision for a company that’s noted in the kink community.) While I had met him before, we hadn’t really had time to chat and get to know each other. It was a pleasure to hang out with him. He talked a little about how he lost a lot of his life (family, etc.) when outed as kinky, and he didn’t intend to become a bondage rope manufacturer. That said, he seems fairly happy with what he does. But I always hate hearing these cautionary tales of kinksters who had their lives wrecked when the wrong people found out about their personal life. Where’s the vaunted American ideal of “freedom”? If someone wants to be a crazy creationist christian fundamentalist, I don’t think they should be harassed for their beliefs (as long as they don’t try to impose them on others) – so why the hell can’t non-kinky people just accept that some of us are kinky? American puritanism drives me bonkers.

Friday night I drove out to see Coy Pink in her suburban home. I had dinner with her family and made friends with her older daughter. Since my life is so different, not having kids, a house  or a husband of my own, I felt a bit of envy at her domestic happiness and stability. I think we all want what we don’t have. I’m fairly happy with my life but you sometimes ask yourself, “What if I had done things differently?” Although when I ask myself that, I remind myself that there’s been no boyfriend in the past who I wanted to settle down and have kids with. Not really. I thought I did with the first boyfriend but I’m lucky to have gotten out of that relationship before marriage could happen.

Once the girls were in bed, we went downstairs to Alec’s (Coy Pink’s husband) photo studio. I can’t wait to see the pictures, Coy Pink has a couple of her and I up on her blog. There were photos taken including my face, for my own personal use/enjoyment, and faceless shots that I hope to use here. It’s funny how I felt like I should be modest somehow in front of them, but then I realized this was some sort of strange false modesty and I should just enjoy taking half naked photos.

Now, did I mention before that I think Coy Pink is hot? Yes, she is. And as usual I’m an idiot who did the lesbian sheep dance, which I always manage to do. I suppose I should tell you all what the lesbian sheep dance is….

There’s been a lot of research into homosexual sheep, because there’s many male homosexual sheep and it’s an issue for sheep breeders. They can’t get the gay sheep to mate with the women sheep of course. Now in the process of this research they noticed they didn’t come across any lesbian sheep. Do they not exist?

Eventually the researchers realized something – when female sheep want to signal readiness and interest in sex, they stand very, very still. And if you have two female sheep interested in sex with each other? They will both stand very, very still. And of course then nothing happens. This is what happens with me (and other women) when dating women. We both hope the other will make the first move, and ultimately nothing happens because we both stand around waiting for the other one to make the first move.

My friend V. created the phrase “lesbian sheep dance” to describe this state of excessive passivity (and YES, I know that this issue is NOT unique to lesbians)  and I am the self-declared queen of it. Coy is awfully cute and sexy, making out with her (or more) would have been fantastic. But I felt awkward trying to be flirty with her husband around, and of course doubted that she had any interest in me in that way. I tweeted about being the queen of the lesbian sheep dance after I had told her they story of the term that night. She replied, “Well, if you’re the queen of the dance, I’m the princess. ;-) ” Oh my. I was determined to hit on her Saturday night (my final night in town) but we were all out in a group – myself, Coy, her husband Alec, Butchtastic Kyle, Roxy, Scarlet Lotus and Onyx. I had met Kyle and Roxy briefly at the NYC Sex Blogger Calendar party in November, but hadn’t met Scarlet and Onyx. I have to say I like them even more in person than online. We ate, drank and made merry – including a trip to a sex store afterward. We ate next door to the Seattle Babeland, but they were closed by the time we finished with dinner. Down the street there was another store though and we all went and browsed. Onyx found some wonderful t-shirts that say things like, “I like to get drunk and fuck people.” or “I cleaned out my ass for this?” There were humongous dildoes and butt plugs. Coy found some sexy clothing on sale. Hopefully these articles will appear in future photos her husband takes of her.

Hanging out in a sex shop with a bunch of perverts who blog about sex was fantastically fun. I only wish I could do it again sometime soon. It’s frustrating when you find people who you enjoy spending time with but they live on the other side of the country (especially when you live in such a large country as the United States).

So I’m afraid I don’t have any hot sex stories to share with you. The night before I left MasterDoc did make me come by simply sucking on my finger – very hot but the rest of the night is now a faded memory.

Review: Crash Pad Series Volume 4: Rope Burn

Published on September 26, 2009 in lesbian, porn and reviews. 0 Comments

1228300-bBabeland has sent me more dyke porn – whoo hoo! This time it’s CrashPadSeries.com: Volume 4: Rope Burn. The basic premise of Crash Pad Series is that there’s an apartment, equipped with hidden cameras, where women go to fuck each other. From time to time the scene cuts to this one woman watching the action secretly on a laptop in some other room/apartment. We get to be voyeurs along with her.

This dvd contains five scenes. I love how each scene shows real women having sex in the way that women actually have sex together. If your only “lesbian” porn has been the kind made by hetero men, for hetero men, then you will be surprised by the passion and rawness of actual woman-on-woman sex. The women have a variety of body types, none of them really look like your typical porn star. Many are slender but there are a couple of women who are chubby. Their breasts are real, and it’s refreshing to see real tits! As much as I love big tits, I prefer them to be real and not look like inflated beach balls. The women’s personal grooming varies – some have hairy legs, hairy pits, pubic hair, some shave part or all of the above. There should be something here for any woman, no matter what “type” you’re into. There’s tats, piercings, etc.

The first scene was kinda slow and I didn’t really get into it. The second scene (Jiz Lee and Dallas) is rougher and features some rope bondage and punching. They display safer sex practices by using a condom on the feeldoe and gloves for fingering. The second scene was hot AND playful.

Scene three features some knifeplay and more femmy women. One of the women dominates the other, and it’s HOT! Not only does this dvd show real sex between women, it also shows real bdsm. Scene four features a butch/femme couple and like the other scenes, their sex is believable. Their genitalia actually look AROUSED, which you don’t always see in hetero porn. The final orgasm in this scene is incredibly sexy.

Throughout, there’s no cheesy-ass porn music. You can hear actual wet noises as pussies are fingered and assholes licked.

The last scene was perhaps the roughest. There was loads of face slapping, chest slapping, bondage. It included some boot licking, clothes being cut off. The toppy femme threatens to burn her bottom’s breasts/nipples with her cigarette. She uses the bottom’s tongue as an ashtray. It’s not all my thing, but overall Pink and White Productions have put together an extremely hot, real set of porn scenes here. Highly recommended.

Sedate Weekend

Published on September 13, 2009 in exhibitionism, lesbian, monogamy, non-monogamy and poly. 0 Comments

I’ve had a relatively sedate weekend. I canceled my date with Shane on Friday because I felt tired, blah and like being alone. He was a good sport about it. Yesterday I went to a friend’s baby shower and had fun, but nearly ended up explaining polyamory to the whole room. A friend said, “Where’s Davey?” (As he has long been my “official boyfriend.”) I answered her honestly, “He’s with his other girlfriend.” Man, the look on her face! Ha ha ha. I said, “It’s okay, I have another boyfriend.” I ended up laughing, turning red and when others in the room asked what was going on my friend said very loudly, very adamantly, “Nevermind! Don’t get into it!”

I took the time to write her a short note today. While I had never kept my poly status secret with this group of friends, neither have I shouted from the rooftops. So I explained, briefly, about my relationship and pointed her in the direction of Wikipedia, The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures and Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.
It was funny hanging out with this group of friends yesterday. I’ve been friends with them for years and became part of the group when I dated one of the guys in it. He’s now married and I get along great with his wife (she said that she knew about me being poly when it came up yesterday). But since most of the circles I move in are sex bloggers, bdsm practitioners and other perverts, I don’t spend a lot of time with monogamous people other than at work. Or, at least, people who don’t know about and accept polyamory. And I have to say, as much as I love these friends, I’m happier hanging out with people who are more open when it comes to sexuality and their relationships.

It’s not fun being in the closet, or having to explain your relationship choices to people. (This is probably the biggest reason (for me) to be in the closet – so you don’t have to explain yourself). But I don’t know that I have the chutzpah to live my life openly everywhere. I don’t keep the poly thing a secret much – I’ve told both my parents by now – but I also don’t push it in people’s faces. I do think some people need to be out there with it, it’s just not me.

I was relieved last night to have dinner with my friend Diva (who is certainly aware of polyamory in general and me being poly in particular) and then we met up with Tess to go to Hypergender Burlesque. Queer burlesque was a good antidote to being with the “normals” for the afternoon. (I probably shouldn’t say it like that, as my friends are wonderful people who just live more conventional lives than I do.) There were a variety of body types represented and lots of fun costumes and acts. While it’s striptease, it’s also performance art. Diva introduced me around as “the kinky librarian” and some people reacted with recognition. Cool!

I suppose only my idea of a sedate weekend would consist of watching lesbians take their costumes off. Heh. But really, compared to what you so often read here this IS sedate.

Although I must admit, I’ve long wanted to perform a striptease in the burlesque tradition. Maybe one day you’ll see me up there on stage.

Counting the days til MasterDoc is back on the east coast (two!).

Book Review: Healing Sex

Published on September 7, 2009 in Feminism, anxiety, assault, bdsm, bisexuality, embarrassment, emotions, fantasy, kink, lesbian, libido, masturbation, rape, recovery, reviews, sex, sex toys, sexuality, trauma and trust. 0 Comments

When Babeland offered Staci Haines’ Healing Sex for review, I decided to snap it up. You see, after I was sexually assaulted in 2005, a friend at that time had Haines’ Healing Sex DVD and lent it to me sometime in the months following the assault. While Haines’ focus is on survivors of childhood sexual abuse, her techniques can definitely be applied to recovering from any sort of sexual trauma. I remembered the DVD as being insightful, so I was happy for the chance to read and own Haines’ book.

Staci Haines specializes in the somatic approach – “an educational and transformational approach that assumes that the body, mind and emotions are one interconnected biological system.” (p. 15) She discusses a great deal the concepts of being aware of what you’re feeling, or indeed being aware if you’ve dissociated and stopped feeling. Being present during your sexual experiences is a major first step towards healing. Being aware of your body and reactions helps get you away from dissociating – “checking out” – during sex.

Haines is realistic about the conflicting emotions that survivors may feel – they may feel guilt or shame when they feel sexual pleasure, they may love and hate their perpetrator at the same time. Being triggered during sex with a partner may cause a survivor to take their anger out on their partner. She doesn’t paint a picture of recovery as being all hearts and flowers – but she does point you towards the wonderful future you can have if you take the time to heal. As they say, nothing worth doing is ever easy.

The approach is entirely sex-positive. She explores different types of sexual expression, everything from oral sex to S/M and in between. There’s chapters on sexual anatomy, creating boundaries for yourself, partnered sex, navigating your way through triggers and how to work on healing them, and even the use of sex toys. Many of these chapters have interesting sex-positive information that would be useful for anyone. (The book is aimed at women survivors, of any sexual orientation.) While she discusses the problem of survivors sometimes becoming sexually compulsive in reaction to the abuse, she makes clear the point that being a fully realized sexual woman with a stronger sex drive than our society thinks you should have is NOT the same as being compulsive. She then goes on to discuss the real difficulties with actual compulsion. She also doesn’t glamorize sex as being the perfect image we see in porn or read about in books. Haines is clear that we bring our quirky human selves to our sex lives – there will be times when things go wrong and you and your partner end up laughing. Sometimes you may need to stop the action for a time and get back to it after dealing with difficult memories.  There’s even a chapter for partners of sexual abuse survivors.

The final chapter in the book is a phenomenal collection of resources – everything from healing sexual trauma, to dealing with any sort of trauma, to women-friendly sex-positive sex toy stores (Babeland is on the list).

One minor gripe: this book has more than an average number of typos that were not caught and fixed. If you’re a grammar nut like me this may irritate the heck out of you.

Floating World, Day Three

Published on August 25, 2009 in D/s, DeeDee, Floating World, Uncategorized, bdsm, best sex bloggers, bisexuality, blog, blogs, bondage, cunnilingus, cunt, edge play, exhibitionism, kink, lesbian, masochism, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, poly, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, sexuality, submissive, sybian and threesome. 2 Comments

After breakfast, the last day, MasterDoc and I went to the erotic hypnosis lecture. (I had developed a mini-crush on Lee Harrington the day before. I suddenly find myself attracted to butches and transmen when I wasn’t before. He is smart, funny and wonderful at leading a class… I’m smitten.) MasterDoc was hoping for a more detailed look at how to put a sub into trance, but I thought there was a good bit of info there. Next we went to the deep head space exploration lecture for a bit. I was tired and getting drowsy, plus the lecture seemed to get a little repetitive (a lot of stuff was also in the consensual non-consent class the day before). We snuck out early, got me a soda to wake me up and wandered around. MD went to check his cell phone for messages (keeping him apart from his Palm is a terrible thing). I went to vending and gave in to buying leather bondage waist cincher. I will try to get a photo of it on here in the coming days. I feel sexy in it and MasterDoc seemed to like it.

I got to meet Mollena, who I really wanted to meet. I love her blog, she’s an excellent writer and also does bdsm education (she did three classes at Floating World this past weekend). So I was all fan girl meeting her and when I told her I write Diary of a Kinky Librarian she stepped back, and bowed to me with arms outstretched above her head. I couldn’t believe it! I feel like I’m such a nobody and to have that reaction was really nice. She gave me a hug and I really hope I get the chance to hang out and talk with her at another event down the road. (I was hurrying off to a class at the time.)

I went to the managing a household lecture and picked up some tips and inspiration for being better at the service submissive side of things. After, I luckily found MasterDoc and DeeDee quickly – DeeDee had given in to buying a corset herself. MD said he wondered where I was and when I said I went to the household management class like I said I was going to – MD said he had thought it was a joke. But no, no joke. We went to vending at this time and he bought three canes as the deal was three for $50. We shall see how I like them when we try them out.

We went out for dinner, then back to DeeDee’s hotel room for a threesome. Since she hadn’t yet had an orgasm or sex that weekend, and in appreciation for giving MasterDoc and I time alone the night before, we focused on DeeDee (at least that was my inspiration). It was loads of fun. She lay on the bed naked between us. MasterDoc kissed her while I played with her nipples. I stroked her body as he went down on her for a while, and he popped his head up for a moment to tell me to be ready to take over. So when he finished I got between her legs and licked her cunt while he played with her upper half and kissed her. After a bit, I slid a finger in and stroked where I thought her g-spot was. (Yes, I’m a little clueless even after all this time – I estimate the location.) And later added a second finger. Her moans were enough to tell me I was doing a good job.

MasterDoc handed me the magic wand and I pressed it to her clit. She was in danger of coming (without having permission yet) and so I had to back off with the wand a little. MasterDoc got her on all fours and fucked her while I pressed the wand to her clit. She had to help reposition it a few times (you try keeping a wand on a clit that keeps moving as the woman gets fucked and you’re reaching around and under her!) She did get permission to come and came pretty hard. I really enjoyed watching and participating. It was all very hot. After, she said to me, “Nadia, you really know your way around a woman’s body!” So very nice to hear.

We got dressed and went to the play space (me in leather cincher and plaid schoolgirl skirt). MasterDoc’s sybian came out for the first time and we got it set up in the play area on a mat. I got to ride it first – the other two ladies lined up were nervous. I grinded my crotch into the machine as it vibrated against me. I begged for permission to come and was allowed to come right away. I came like a woman possessed. Jaw slack, moaning, screaming, crying out, “Oh fuck!” He kept me on there for a good long while and I came over and over again. He slapped my face a few times and I just loved it.

After me, another Dom’s sub had a ride.  (He is the person who was at the party where I was assaulted who wrote to me via MasterDoc recently on fetlife to apologize for not speaking up. Anyway, we were friendly with him and his subs over the weekend.) She enjoyed herself, but didn’t come. She had gotten on with her panties on as it was that time of the month, and the lace fabric between her and the machine made the situation less than ideal. But she did enjoy it and wants to try again sometime. Her Dom cuddled her on the futon we had laid next to the sybian mat and I chatted with them while DeeDee got prepared for her ride. (This other sub is in library school – I ran into a fair number of librarians there!)

DeeDee received her first ride. It was fun to watch and MasterDoc motioned to me to get the paddle for him.  He used the paddle a bit as she moaned and came. He handed it to me and had me paddle her butt as well. Then he had me slap her ass with my bare hand for a while. She was on the sybian a while and seemed to have a wonderful time. She also needed to lay on the futon and receive some after care. I cleaned up our stuff when it became apparent that no one else wanted to give the sybian a ride. (Their loss!) And I joined MasterDoc and DeeDee on the futon as I had very few cuddles that day. I was saying goodbye to MD and DeeDee shortly after that, and heading home. MasterDoc spent the extra night with DeeDee and took the train home in the morning.

Odds and ends: I loved how there was acceptance of so many kinks. There’s plenty of things there that I have no interest in doing (they just don’t turn me on) but people were free to do whatever they were into (within reason) fire play, pony play, age play, needles, blood, suspension, bondage, spanking, flogging, etc. etc. There was a diverse crowd there – women from Lesbian Sex Mafia, queer people of all stripes, straights, pansexuals, etc. and a great deal of acceptance for people being who they were.

We ran into some people we knew from around New York – the Dom that had come over months before with his three submissives – he was there with slave number one.  I had hoped to run into someone I knew on fetlife who likes this blog, but she and I never managed to cross paths although she did run into MasterDoc in the hall at the hotel and introduced herself. It was nice to become friendly with that Dom who knew me from the bad party years ago. I saw Vera from FYN and chatted for a while. (And suggested that I can help write copy in exchange for product! I have copywriting experience.) We saw S’s daughter there (along with her friend the librarian I had a couple of dates with a while back who was with her when I saw her at In The Flesh). It was a little awkward as she’s not comfortable around MasterDoc (as he’s schtupping her mother and could conceivably tell her mother about her activities. Granted, her mother and her each know the other is kinky, but of course the details end there.) but she made a point to say hello to me when he wasn’t nearby. I saw MinaMeow and her girlfriend, and one woman Davey dates. I got to meet John Baku and remind him of the interview I did with him for Best Sex Bloggers that never got published. (He didn’t like how he sounded, and he’s not much for writing. I told him to let me know what he wants to say and I will work out how to write it. It’s not investigative journalism, more of a puff piece.) Anyway I’m not to worried about it at this point. It may never see the light of day.)

All in all, I had a good weekend, and I got home late on Sunday night. I was spent.

Review: Sugar High Glitter City DVD

Published on July 1, 2009 in Uncategorized, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, lesbian, porn, reviews, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and threesome. 0 Comments

A short while after I came out to myself as bisexual, I started frequenting the Planet Out website. I had a personal ad up that yielded pretty much nothing. (The worst being a three way date where I had the woman I was hot for tell me she was hot for the other woman. *sigh* And thus I remained a girl on girl virgin until I met my first girlfriend while on vacation in late 2001.) I’d look through the lists of gay/lesbian films and rent as many films as I could. But of course I couldn’t find the porn at my local video store. One of those movies was 2001′s Sugar High Glitter City, directed and produced by Jackie Strano and Shar Rednour. I have wanted to see that dvd since it came out, but I rarely buy porn. When Babeland offered it to review I gleefully took them up on the offer. This is my first DVD review – and I wish I had bought it years ago.

The plot is thus (from Babeland’s website):

In Sugar High Glitter City, sugar is outlawed and dykes will stop at nothing to get it…even selling their own bodies. Real-life, full-force, glam-sleazy dyke sex reigns in this real lesbian video with hot dildo action packed throughout. Shot on location in San Francisco and narrated by Honey Lee Cottrell, this is some of the hottest dildo lesbian sex we’ve seen in quite some time. The lesbian sugar fiends stop at nothing to get some! Nominated for AVN Awards for “Best All Girl Sex Scene” and “Best All Girl Feature”. We at Babeland say it wins “Best Chemistry” because you can’t hide the real dyke heat in this one.

Where do I start? Wow! Porn showing safer sex (latex gloves)! (No dental dams though, but to be fair what a dull porn that would be. You wouldn’t be able to see anything.) A wide variety of ethnicities are represented! A variety of body types! No fake tits! Various states of pubic hair. Butch dykes, femmes, and everything in between. Butches on femmes. Femmes on femmes. Butches on butches! Pierced nipples, piercings all over the place. Lots and lots of strap on cocks. Use of lube on sex toys. Lots of women having REAL orgasms! Squirting! This DVD has something for pretty much everyone who likes watching women get it on with women.

The sugar addiction theme pulls the scenes together without getting too much into trying to be a regular movie. (I hate when porn has long bits of non-sex scenes. I watch porn for sex!) The sex is realistic and hot. Unlike faux, hetero “lesbian porn” these women have short fingernails. It drives me nuts when woman on woman porn shows the women fingering each other with long fingernails. Ouch! I want to feel a firm finger against my g-spot and not a pointy nail. Real lesbian sex is so much hotter to watch (as a woman) than “lesbian” porn made to satisfy heterosexual men.

Sugar High Glitter City is approximately 70 minutes.

In The Flesh

Published on June 19, 2009 in Uncategorized, bisexuality, blogs, dating, lesbian, poly, sex toys and sex work awareness. 0 Comments

Last night I went out to In The Flesh again, and met up with Diva and Tess. I hadn’t seen Michelle in a while so I invited her along as well. We met for dumplings (cheapest dinner I have ever gotten in NYC) and drinks beforehand. At dinner I also got to meet another model for the forthcoming NYC Sex Blogger Calendar. Diva was all abuzz with planning the calendar release party on November 6th. I can’t wait. Should be even more fun this year since I know a couple of people in it better.

At In The Flesh, I again experienced what a small world it is. (At least in the realm of sex-positive people.) I’ve mentioned my friend S. here a few times, she also dates MasterDoc, and I’ve met her daughters a couple of times. Well her eldest daughter was there last night and she didn’t remember me so I tentatively said hello and reminded her that we met. No sooner had that happened when the woman she was with said, “I think I know you too. We went on a couple of dates a while ago.” Yup, indeed this woman was a librarian I had a couple of dates with a while back. Small world indeed. (I won’t even go into how I made the piss-poor choice of going on the second date with this woman despite being sick at the time. Yeah, enthusiasm only counts when you’re not infectious. Needless to say that was our last date.)

The readings were sexy and sometimes funny. It was LGBT night so it was a pretty appropriate night for me to bring along a woman I’m dating (Michelle). Yet again I was lame, and I only gave her a quick kiss as we said goodbye on the subway later on. I get particularly awkward with kissing women in public. I need to get over that.

There were many giveaways at the readings, and I won a book of gay erotica. It’s a pity that I’m not much for gay erotica or porn (I prefer lesbian or kink). I do enjoy watching two men together, in person, but not so much in porn. It’s strange, I know. After the party, while I used the restroom, a guy came looking for me – i.e., the winner of the gay porn book – and Michelle told him I was in the restroom. So after I came out, washed my hands, and rounded the corner, I ran into this guy. He was a really sweet gay man who was interested in that book I had won because it was about surfer boys, and his boyfriend is a surfer. He asked if I’d trade it for something. “Sure,” I said, “You have something to trade?” Sure enough, this guy had a big bag filled with sex toys and whatnot, including a couple of vibrators from Babeland still in the packaging. I gladly traded him the book for an Orchid G in aqua. (You know you’re too immersed in the world of sex toys when you spot a vibrator and immediately know the name of it!) I probably would have just given him the book even if he didn’t have anything I was interested in trading for. Hey, I’m a librarian, I like putting people together with books that are right for them.

My purse wasn’t that big last night, so I ended up taking my new vibrator on the subway with me – unwrapped (well still in packaging, but it was a clear bag). I kinda hid it against my umbrella, but I also found it really funny that I was riding the subway with an exposed vibrator. Somehow that fits my life. I got home to MasterDoc with some funny stories to share. All in all, it was a good night.

The Slut at a Party

Published on April 20, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, exhibitionism, lesbian, masochism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, slut, spanking and swinging. 0 Comments

MasterDoc took me a private play party this past Saturday. I had a wonderful time and hopefully I’ll manage to capture the best moments here in my blog.

When we arrived MasterDoc was immediately accosted by bratty sub Patty, who he’s played with before. I watched in horror as she twisted his nipples (something he HATES) and it was clear she was looking for punishment. MasterDoc wasn’t quite prepared to give it at that moment, however. I was supposed to play with Patty that night but with her brattiness in high gear MasterDoc decided no pussy for her (which ended up meaning no pussy for me). When she kissed him hello it was fun to watch the chemistry between them but that nipple twisting still boggles my mind. I’m not a bratty sub so I can’t imagine going out of my way to antagonize MasterDoc. If I want a beating I state that I’d like a beating… no bratty manoeuvres to get one. If I behave in a bratty manner I’m less likely to get a beating. (When I do get emotional and insufferable it’s never intentional and certainly not in seeking a beating.)

After some noshing and talking with people we ended up in the basement. MasterDoc had brought along the sybian (always a hit at parties!) and he set up the hostess on it. When her fiance arrived he handed the controls over to him and it was a joy to watch her come really hard over and over again. While orgasms always take your mind off your surroundings there’s something about a sybian orgasm that totally turns your brain to mush. After, MasterDoc asked if anyone else wanted a ride, when no one else volunteered he asked if I wanted one. It’s been weeks since I had a ride so I enthusiastically went for it. MasterDoc played with the controls and soon I was a blubbering, orgasming mess. My head fell forward into his lap (he sat in a chair in front of me) and my hair got all mussed up. I was asked by the hosts to keep the noise down at one point – I’m sure during an intense orgasm I could wake the dead. It’s hard to keep the noise down but burying my face in MasterDoc’s pant leg helped. He kept revving the sybian which would just turn me back to mush in an instant. Eventually, after I had come long and hard, he decided I had enough and I came back down to earth.

By this point there was some play going on, a lady was on the pool table being treated to a violet wand (something I’ve never experienced myself). We went upstairs and the hostess was lounging languidly on the bed as people played with her tits. MasterDoc started spanking her pussy and she just writhed and moaned under his hand. Another lady joined in when he took a break. She didn’t come from this but it was clear she enjoyed herself. In the meanwhile a guy we had met before asked if he could play with my tits (he asked MasterDoc, of course) and permission granted he pulled my breasts out of my bra and started sucking on my nipples. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. After a few moments, MasterDoc had me get on the other side of him, and the hostess reached out and started rubbing my clit. I stood there enjoying how it felt until the hostess was fucked by someone and she lost her sense of direction with her hand (understandably!).

MasterDoc had me suck his cock and I went at it with great passion. I love sucking his cock. Getting it from a soft state up into hardness is a fun process, and I sucked and licked until he was good and hard. I moaned and slurped, hoping that I was putting on a good show for all in the bedroom. MasterDoc decided to have me ride him and I got on top of his now quite hard cock.  I fucked him passionately and had a mind blowing orgasm (with permission of course). There were other people on the bed and hands caressed my body from various angles. Another Dom asked him if he could kiss me and MasterDoc said yes so I made out with this guy while sitting on MasterDoc’s cock.

After a break and caressing another sub’s body for a while I was asked to go back to cocksucking. I also at one point was told to lend a hand to a guy stroking his cock near me. He played with my breasts while I did that and I just closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling. MasterDoc had me get on all fours so this guy could fuck me and he fucked me really hard from behind. I was allowed to come again and came really hard, over and over again while this guy fucked me. It might be amusing some day to have someone record the racket I make during orgasm.

A paddle appeared and MasterDoc took to the hostesses ass with it. Her fiance came in and said that no, she’s not a pain slut, just a slut and MasterDoc had me turn around on all fours so he could paddle me instead. I think I more accurately fit the term pain slut. I was unhappy that it ended so quickly after it started. I wanted more. I could really do with a good beating.

After another short while, MasterDoc had me get out my acrylic wand and he fucked me with it (and let another guy have a go although he didn’t quite do it right). I came some more, brain totally turned to mush, and I felt so free being so slutty. I had such a wonderful time and I can’t picture my life without adventurous sex and sex parties and bdsm. I feel freed when I’m in slut mode and I just give in to my desires without any apologies.

MasterDoc was tired so he napped a little bit. I cuddled up to him but also kept an eye out for what else was going on in the room. Patty gave a guy a blow job, and when I looked over to the black lesbian Domme (who I wanted to have beat me) she had her hand down her pants playing with herself while watching. There was a funny moment when she caught me looking and we both laughed. MasterDoc sleepily asked what was funny but I just let him go back to sleep. It was such a naughty evening. I could have kept going all night if not for having work the next day. I could write a longer blog entry about the evening, but I know how long entries can get boring for the reader, so I will leave my account at this.

Two days later my pussy is still a little sore from the hard fucking.

Second Date

Published on December 21, 2008 in lesbian. 1 Comment

So I’m a little behind on blogging, but I’m pleased to say that I’m completely over the virus I had this week.

Last night I had a second date with a woman I’ll call Jenny. She’s a cute, smart androgyne with a penchant for punk rock. I would have gladly jumped her bones but the occasion never presented itself. It was like this awkward evening of each of us waiting for the other to make the first move. And I might have, if I didn’t then immediately second guess myself and wonder if maybe she just wants a friend because she’s new in town. I dunno. I got a couple of nice hugs from her, but that’s it. Looks like I’m going to have to take the first step somehow… I think for me the easiest would be to mention in an email that I wanted to kiss her last night but didn’t know if she wanted the same. Yes, I’m a total spaz when I date women. Men are so much easier!

So we had a good evening of watching A Bit of Fry and Laurie and talking about everything from how brilliant Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie are, to The Ramones, to little tidbits about sex. (Guess who initiated those conversations? Yup, me.) I’ve proudly declared to her that I’m a slut, I mentioned the existence of this blog and dropped various other hints as to my willingness to get naked, all to no avail. We sat on opposite ends of the sofa, so I tried nudging her with my foot playfully. I made comments about how the trouble with our couch (Davey and I have a sofa with two recliners, one at each end) is that it makes people sit far apart from each other. She only said, “Hey, it happens,” which wasn’t encouraging me to move closer. *sigh* I think we’re too much alike – two spazzes too shy to try anything. At least I hope that’s all it is. We agreed that we had a good time and would like to do it again. So um, we’ll see how that goes!