Diary of a Kinky Librarian » latina

The Return of the Latina

Nadia — Thu, 03 May 2007 14:00:00 +0000

So I heard from the Latina this week – twice. She actually followed up about plans just a couple of days after I replied to her email. Will wonders never cease! I’m really happy as I have to admit, I really like her. All the garbage a while back about being over her? Lies, all lies. Just wishful thinking at the time. Just putting on a brave face. We’ll see where things go from here!

The Return of the Latina originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on May 3, 2007.

Dating Hiatus

Nadia — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 20:24:00 +0000

I finally heard back from the Latina, and to her credit she acknowledged that I had a valid point. And I was impressed by her ability to discuss differences rationally, like an adult. So I’ve sent a reply calmly and rationally explaining my side (um, it’s inconsiderate to not get back to someone about plans in a timely manner) and we’re left on a positive note ultimately. She’s busy the next few weeks so I suggested taking a break and then we’ll see what happens. I like a lot about her, just not this flaky side. She’s an intelligent woman who seems to deal with most things maturely. I figure we’ll see what happens in May when she thinks she’ll have more time. I’m not going to worry about it though. If something’s meant to come together it will, and if not then it won’t. I’m definitely taking effort out of dating for the time being. (Not that I’ve put tons in lately anyway.) I’m just kinda tired of things not working out. This is how my life has gone for the most part – a short flurry of dating that doesn’t work out followed by being fed up and taking a break. I’m glad when I can get to a place of peace with it and not feel inadequate because I’ve gotten rejected yet again. Dating is just a pain, there’s no getting around that.

Dating Hiatus originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on April 14, 2007.

Inconsiderate

Nadia — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 21:49:00 +0000

So I emailed the Latina today since I had suggested I could meet her this evening and she never got back to me. Her reply is that she’s sorry, she flaked and thought it was next week. Um yeah but even if it was next week wouldn’t have it been nice to confirm we have plans? I had last emailed March 23 and she never replied. I’m getting pretty fed up.

Some people would just say forget her but I’m a sap so I don’t want to just yet. But for a change I’m speaking up about how I’m being treated and letting her know it’s not okay to take over a week to reply to my emails. (Hey, I’m not a phone person but if you prefer the phone then fine, call me. Do something!) I may be a wuss and a doormat at times but I swear this is her last chance – flake out on me yet again and that’s it. I deserve the courtesy of a friggin’ reply! Now I just need to figure out exactly what I’m going to say in my reply. Grr, I hate confrontation!

Inconsiderate originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on April 8, 2007.

Nadia — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 00:17:00 +0000

I emailed the Latina today, and heard back. Sounds like she’s still as friendly and keen to hang out as ever. She’s just a very busy woman. I still feel insecure. I’m terribly insecure about women – I have much less experience with women than men. I’m just terribly insecure when I first like someone. Actually, that’s not really true because Davey never once made me feel insecure. I like situations like that. I hate when dating someone brings out the worst in me – insecurity, obsessiveness (about whether the person likes me or not), low self-esteem. Gah! When you like someone you should feel better not worse.

Comments on this blog now need to be approved by me. I appreciate that whoever anonymous is is trying to be supportive but anonymous comments are more than a little disconcerting. Still, I haven’t turned them off just yet but switched to needing blog owner approval.

originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on March 13, 2007.

Welcome to my Anxiety Closet

Nadia — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 13:47:00 +0000

I seem extra anxious this week. I worry about every little thing. Sometimes that worrying is rooted in a valid worry – i.e., the Irishman is married just as my gut feeling told me and I don’t know for sure if he’s telling the truth about it being an open marriage or if he’s lying to me. Other worries, are less rooted in reality.

I got an email from the Latina. A long friendly one where she takes the time to address anything I mentioned in my last email from a few days ago. She addresses one issue and at first I read it as her being ok with the idea of some risk. I was overjoyed and ran into the kitchen to tell Davey. But then, I started overthinking her words and wondered if I read it right. I had Davey read the email and he insists I’m just being paranoid. I’ve re-read the email and half the time I think I’m being paranoid the other half of the time I think I interpreted her words wrong the first time. *sigh* She leaves in a few days on vacation, so I hope that I hear back from her before then so I can put my fears to rest and know what the deal is.

I’m such a worrier. I hate this. I used to scoff at my grandmother when she’d worry about any and everything, but meanwhile I’m not all that different than she is. I think I’m going through a particularly anxious time right now, and that at another point in time I’d be on a more even keel. I’m starting to wonder if my meds are exactly right for me or if they need further tweaking. Or better yet, if I just need to find a way to work through being anxious all the time.

Welcome to my Anxiety Closet originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on February 25, 2007.