As the depression lifted we could have good talks about these things and I’m feeling very happy about our relationship again.  My libido started to return, but my head was still in a space of feeling undesirable and  taken for granted. He listened well this time when I said what I needed, and Friday night we had some time alone in the playroom.

Lots of cuddles were in order, but also some cock sucking. He touched me a lot and his touch was very healing. I crave physical contact sometimes, I think it comes from a having family who were always very withholding with physical affection. My memories of Friday night are a bit fuzzy. I think the orgasms erased all around them, and I just remember coming so very hard. He grabbed hold of my hair many times and this feeling of him having control over me was absolutely soothing. Being submissive can be a release. I can let go of my rambling thoughts plaguing me with things I need to get done. In that period of time I am just his.

He had me ride his cock and he worked hard thrusting up into me. For some reason I felt a bit sore when he plunged deep, but in the mindset I had that evening, the little bit of pain was delicious and arousing. He grabbed a tight hold of me and made me come until I was laying on him like a wet noodle.

Earlier that night as we discussed how well he can make me come now by just telling me to, he said that from now on, when he says, “Good girl” I am supposed to come.

The following evening as he caressed me and brought me into subspace with just some gentle touching he said, “Good girl.” The first time he said it it didn’t register with me. I didn’t immediately remember his directive from the night before. He said it again, however, and as my mind registered the meaning of the phrase I started to come. Something in me fought it, but the orgasm won. It can be disconcerting at times how well he can control me with just his mind. “No!” a part of me said, “He can’t possibly make me orgasm just by telling me ‘good girl’!” But indeed he can.

He got the canes out after this and he tapped on my clit with the cane tip. He slapped my pussy. He lightly caned my inner thighs. That night I was craving roughness. I expressed this to him and he took me up on it – not necessarily in the ways I envisioned, but then he wouldn’t be in control if he did everything just as I want it. He looked at me evilly as he picked up the clover clamps and the Wartenburg wheel. My nipples would have recoiled if they could, but thankfully he wasn’t heading for my nipples. He placed one clamp on my right outer labia. The pain from the pressure was intense but I breathed through the pain as he told me to do. He attached the other clamp to my other labia and the pain was something else. But you know you’re a masochist when you think, “Oh my god that hurts. Oh my got that hurts. Holy shit, I want to come.”

He told me to come and despite, or perhaps because of, the pain on my labia I came hard. He ran the pinwheel over my skin as I came and the sensations were so very stimulating. Mid-orgasm, no pain existed. The orgasm was all that existed for me. As I came down, the pain resumed and he took the clamps off. More pain shot through my labia as the blood rushed back to those previously clamped spots.  He tapped on my sore lips a bit, making me quiver.

I lay there a moment recovering and discussing with him how odd it feels to be so turned on by him hurting me. It goes along with the dominance aspect – he has such control over me that he can make me hurt if he wishes to.

He had me lay at the end of the bed with my head hanging over it. It was an experiment as we weren’t sure I could take a cock deep in my mouth from that angle. But jeez it was amazing. At times his balls fell over my nose and made it hard to breathe, but I simply held them out of the way gently. When I’d start to really gag on his cock I’d feel a slight bit of panic, but then he’d take his cock out for a moment and instantly I was ready to go again. The roughness, the using me, made me so hot. I possibly could have come from that alone He grabbed my tits as he slid his cock into my mouth from above.

After a rest, he had me present my ass to him, and he lubed up and inserted by medium Njoy pure plug.

He teased me, and I had a hard time figuring out what exactly was penetrating my cunt. He had me move to the end of the bed so he could fuck me from behind – and he was so very kind as to give me the Hitachi to use. The sensation of my vibrating clit, paired with feeling completely filled up by his cock and the butt plug, threw me headlong to the edge. He told me to come and I had over the top orgasms for what seemed like several minutes. I did not want to stop. Everything around me was blotted out and only my orgasms existed. It was like having a mental version of tunnel vision. I squirted much more than usual – I could feel a gush from my cunt and the fluid run over my hand holding the Hitachi. I gushed again as he continued to make me come and it was truly amazing. I must have squirted twice as much as I would usually squirt (when I squirt).

I wish I could convey the mental intimacy that goes along with our sex. It definitely enhances the sex tenfold but it’s one of those things that is particular to the two people involved.

He had me keep the butt plug in and I got up for a snack. Unfortunately with the lube and the smoothness (and the weight) of the plug it started to slip out while I was fixing a snack in the kitchen. I hope no one was looking out their window across from us as the blinds were soaking in the tub and his neighbors could have easily seen me reach back and slide the plug back in. He let me take it out a little later because I had to walk all sorts of clenched in order to keep it in.

I was satiated and tired. I’m pretty sure I slept soundly that night.

Shortly after we arrived I became absorbed in a porn that was running – not so much because of what was happening, but because I think I had met the guy in it the week before. Tess met up with a pornographer before we went to In the Flesh, and I could have sworn the guy in the film was that guy. But of course they barely showed the guy’s face, so I didn’t get to convince myself entirely. I lead such an interesting life.

The club was having one of its usual “porn star” nights and Totally Tabitha was there – I think we had met her once before there. We got to talking with her and MasterDoc was very charming, while I got into teaching her about safer sex toy materials (what happens when a sex blogger meets a porn star, I suppose). I got to crush on this Latina I’ve met there many times and MasterDoc enlisted DeeDee and her exceptional social skills to help flirt with the woman at the bar for him. (DeeDee is gracious, friendly and can converse and get to know people easily. MasterDoc and I were the awkward nerds when younger – so while we’ve improved our social skills considerably we still don’t have the ease that DeeDee does.)

The mood at the club was pretty light. There were some socially inept, pushy guys there, but also polite, friendly ones as well. There was a good amount of women who are regulars (I so want to ask which ones are paid to be there – but I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.) I like how this steadfastly middle class, suburban woman (i.e., me) is comfortable with making friendships and acquaintance with whores, porn actors and the like. We all have a positive view of sexuality and don’t feel ashamed about it. I imagine so many people I work with or encounter day-to-day being  judgmental about these women – I am glad that I have realized that they are human beings just like any other women. Working the sex industry does not make someone ‘bad,’ ‘dirty’ or ‘wrong.’  (Or stupid!) This country is so fucked up in regard to sex. Sex is necessary for the continuation of the human race! It feels good for a reason! Fucking someone is a way of being intimate with another human being – even if you’re not in an intimate relationship with them. Humans need physical contact with other humans. It doesn’t always have to be sexual, but sexual is one way it can be.

We settled in the back room after a bit – I hadn’t been there since they took down one wall to make the two rear rooms into one big one. The air conditioning for the entire place is in that room though, and it was fucking freezing in there. MasterDoc got the ac turned down and we were able to camp out in there for a bit. The early part of the evening is a bit fuzzy for me. The whole evening was rich with flirting, joking and general fun that I’m sure I will, sadly, miss some details here.

So we settled on the big bed and cuddled. I was feeling starved for cuddles. We all three agreed that we felt a bit emotionally off kilter and MasterDoc decided that it would be just us playing – no bringing in strangers. I felt much better after he declared that. A few single guys stood around the perimeter of the bed and I’m sure they were thinking, “When are they going to DO something?!”

Eventually we got started. MasterDoc had me move to his right, because for some reason he’s more comfortable having me there. And while it seems a little silly on the surface, I do appreciate the fact that he does it because he can keep me in his sight better. He really takes the aspect of Domming that includes taking care of me seriously. It’s not a control freak thing at all – and it doesn’t feel that way – it is simply something that makes him feel more comfortable.

He had DeeDee suck his cock and he reached down and played with her tits. I stroked his chest and things were finally moving along. MasterDoc made DeeDee come just by touching her and talking to her. It was spectacular to watch. Poor woman was embarrassed after, as well as spent, so she lay down next to MasterDoc for a while. Isn’t it awful that we live in a world where a woman who can come very easily and hard is made to feel ashamed of it? I’m sure the men loved it, but women are taught subtly from birth that “good girls don’t do that.” (Hell, I’m a good girl and I deserve to feel good! Fuck that shit.)

MasterDoc had me suck his cock for a bit, then he had me position myself so he could use the crop and cane on my ass. I was so in need of a beating I was thrilled for him to do it. I became really aroused from the pain that felt mostly manageable last night. He had me lay down so he could play with my pussy. He got some toys from DeeDee (both of us take turns being the assistant) and made me come – but it was somehow hard to get there. I don’t know what’s with me lately, I seem to have difficulty coming sometimes. I squirted a little bit. After the orgasms I needed to rest.

We got up and socialized some more, and MasterDoc was busy charming Tabitha. I could tell he was determined to fuck her, and I did whatever I could to help. They were going to go off to one of the rooms when we got distracted by talking to the cute Latina. MasterDoc begged off the conversation after a while, and I got the feeling that she was insulted. He made up for this shortly after by having her stroke his cock while Tabitha was busy with another guy. I joined them on the bed as DeeDee was talking to a polite, intelligent black guy – I felt safe leaving her there as he didn’t seem the non-consensual groping type at all (and I was right) but still he enjoyed talking openly about sex. I was hoping to get in on the Latina action although that didn’t quite happen. I did suck MasterDoc’s cock to get him ready for Tabitha, and the Latina talked about wanting to see me choke on his cock. We were working up to that when she got distracted. Boo.

Tabitha is clearly a woman who is comfortable with recreational sex (which I think is a great thing). She commented on the size of MasterDoc’s cock before fucking him and once he got his cock in her. He fucked her good and hard, I got horny watching and started to play with myself. MasterDoc encouraged me to help in some way, and I played with her clit through her panties a bit (the panties were just pushed aside for the fucking). She enjoyed a good, hard fuck and MasterDoc clearly enjoyed himself too. After, he joked that “fuck porn star” is off his list – I pointed out that we had fooled around with SlutMomo, so fucking a porn star was already checked off his list! He amended it to “fuck blonde porn star.” Check.

DeeDee and I ended up standing in the hallway a moment and she expressed frustration at not having more orgasms yet, and she wondered if MasterDoc would let her fuck the nice black guy she had been talking to. I told her she should definitely ask, and when she wandered off and MasterDoc came up to me, I took a moment to fill him in on her unmet needs and wants. See, I’m not always worried only about my sexual needs. I told him too that since I’ve been craving cock for days and missed out the two last times we fooled around, that I really longed for some penis-in-vagina sex. MasterDoc took control of the situation, checked in with DeeDee to see if she would be okay with someone else giving her those orgasms she needed (she was) and confirmed that she was interested in the guy (she was) and so the four of us ended up back in the bedroom again.

MasterDoc made DeeDee come by playing with her pussy, then he put the nice guy in charge of taking care of her. She came so much! The guy fucked her and the two of them seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves. MasterDoc then turned his attention to me and gave me quite a fucking! I planted my head against the bed as he doggy-styled me. All sorts of moaning came out of my mouth as he took me towards orgasm. I was aware of the crowd around us, but kept myself separate and in my own head. He made me come so hard – and since starting testosterone his cock is a match for my vagina of steel – I don’t push his cock out nearly as often during orgasm. He kept pounding me and I kept coming.

After he said, “Babe, you’re a wild ride.”

I replied, “You are too, Sir.”

MasterDoc helped out Tabitha while the nice guy who had just fucked DeeDee fucked her – he gave her our orchid g vibe, with a condom on it, to use on her clit. After a while, the idea of putting it up her ass came about and the Latina helped lube up her ass well. They slid it in and he fucked her, feeling the vibe through the walls of her vagina. MasterDoc explained to him how he should massage his cock with the vibrating toy through the thin wall of flesh that lies between pussy and ass. He picked that up fast and seemed to love it.

I needed to get home to sleep so I could get up early, and the three of us were getting tired. It took a little while to pack up as we had to wait for our toy (would be pretty rude to just demand it back mid-fuck, no?) and then one of the regular ladies begged MasterDoc for a beating. DeeDee and I waited patiently while he helped her out.

It was an extremely fun evening! I don’t know why being a slut is so looked down upon – we have so much fun and pleasure! What is wrong with that?

In the bedroom, I cuddled with him and stroked his body. He sounded like he was going to come various times and I was concerned by my usual being left out/not getting to come fears. But this time I told myself, “He always takes care of me, I should just trust that he will.” And so I kept writhing against him, touching his body – ass, back, arms, neck, groin. I breathed heavy into his ear as I pressed my body to his.

He did come from my touches and him stroking his cock. He shot pretty far on the bed. He had me clean up and then we had dessert.  I was yearning for sexual attention, but I behaved myself.

I asked if I could lay down – mainly to rest and relax but I was also hoping he’d start playing with my body. He did. He played with my pussy til I was breathing heavy and close to coming. They were delicate touches but his touch makes me tingle. He teased me a bit and I must have had such a set of blue balls – metaphorically speaking. He told me to come and come I did. He would let me rest slightly then amp up the sensation to make me come again. I would think to myself, “I’m done,” but then he would make me come again. I grabbed hold of his arm as I came, thrashing about.

Post orgasm I lay there fantasizing about him grabbing the Randy (which I won recently on twitter from Vixen Creations, mine’s “vanilla” flesh-colored rather than the black one on Babeland’s site) and telling me it’s time we see if we can fit it in my cunt. Rowr. I kept tormenting myself with more sexy thoughts.

He turned to me in middle of cuddling and asked if I wanted him to pee on me – not willing to do it but wanted . I couldn’t reply. Part of me wanted it and the other part of me was horrified that I wanted it. He seemed to back off, but I kept thinking that it would be hot for him to make me do something I hate – and it’s not that the act is hot for me. Being pissed on in and of itself isn’t erotic for me, but him grabbing me by the hair taking me down the hall to the bathroom, barking an order for me to kneel in the tub…. and then he pisses on me, in my ass, in my mouth – the last one being terribly forced. I don’t want him to piss in my mouth, but I do want to feel like he owns me and will do it if it pleases him. Does that make sense? Ultimately though, the fooling around was over for the evening.

My muscles are sore today. Masterdoc and Lana, the lady who joined us all recently for “Using the Slave,”  took turns using me last night. Of course I am a very happy girl today!

I was instructed that I had to crawl on the large mat in the living room – no walking except when I’m off the mat. He had me crawl over to him on the sofa and he put my ball gag in my mouth. (MasterDoc has been making a concerted effort to branch out and use some of the toys I keep hoping he’ll use.) The mat was set up with condoms, lube, a few toys and my strap-on.

I lay on the mat gagged as both touched me. With the gentle strokes over my body I would twitch. MasterDoc has trained my reactions so that I’m hyper sensitive – every nerve ending has become an erogenous zone. Lana is adept at touching gently but not too gently. I got the sense that my body was getting a workout simply from the muscle twitches that came from arousal. MasterDoc told me I could come at will for the duration of Lana’s visit. They took turns sucking on my nipples. Shortly after, Lana made me come by playing with my clit while he grabbed my hair. It’s so very easy to make me come sometimes.

MasterDoc removed the ball gag and let me have a drink of water. He had me get on hands and knees so he could fuck me. He fucked me silly while she grabbed my hair firmly and pulled my head back a little. The hair pulling intensified the fuck, although he was also pounding me exceptionally hard. I squirted as I came, and came, and fell to the mat after, short of breath.

MasterDoc sat in a chair and had me suck his cock while she fucked me with my strap-on. Unfortunately the angle was all wrong for the silicone cock to enter me. They put me on floor and he watched while she fucked me. The dildo kept sliding out of my clenching pussy, so she gave up after a while and used her fingers. MasterDoc took over fucking me and talked dirty about me being used by a bunch of guys, one after the other, some day. I was totally out of control with coming by that point. I went feral:  grunting, screaming and panting. Orgasming becomes a control thing with MasterDoc and he can wring the orgasms out of my body like crazy. If he wants to make me come it’s pretty definite that I will come. Lana did a pretty damn good job making me come as well – she held my Gigi to my clit while he fucked me.

We relaxed, enjoyed some dessert and MasterDoc had to get ready for bed because he had work early the next morning. I joined Lana on the mat and she started stroking my body again and watching me twitch. She seemed to take great pleasure out of the way I’d convulse from her touch. She made me come more with her hands and then she went down on me. She was very, very skilled at it. (I thought to myself that this is why I prefer bi women over bicurious – they know what to do! I realize this isn’t a hard and fast rule, but having experience counts for a lot.) Lana made me come like crazy licking my clit, sucking it and using her arms to rock my hips a little while she did so. I had to ask her to stop finally because I was so tired. I have no idea how many times I came that night. I stroked her back and shoulders for a bit, making her feel good for a change. I really was spoiled that night, however, although MasterDoc had given Lana a sybian ride before I got home from work.

When we stopped, I needed to help MasterDoc with some things. I felt totally worn out and went to bed after getting him settled. Of course, I thanked our guest heartily before going to bed.

We lay close on the bed in the playroom. (Yes, he has a bedroom devoted to sex. All my toys are in there.) He revved me up with just gentle touches to my cunt – just the outer labia. Very quickly he had me twitching and breathing heavy. My response times with him have gotten to be pretty amazing. There’s always times when my head is not in the right place, but as long as I can focus and relax I get aroused by any and all touches from him.

He had me suck his cock and get it hard and it was nice to get it after a week without. My jaw got sore earlier than usual that night, and I pointed out that it hadn’t been used that way in a week! MasterDoc joked that he will have to send over practice cocks for me to suck to keep me in shape when he’s busy.

I had finally taken the time to put out toys as “hints.” I had long resisted getting out anything but what he asked for, as I don’t want to top from the bottom. But after telling me various times that I can suggest things (I just shouldn’t expect that they will necessarily be used), I put out some hints. Anal beads. Flogger. Gag. He had me kneel facing away from him, and he lubed up and slipped in the anal beads. He slid them in only part way, and mentioned how he loves the way they look like a tail when only partially inserted. (Nice bit of humiliation play there.) He gradually slid in each larger bead in with long intervals in between. He decided to fuck me while it was still partly out and I could feel his cock fill my cunt up while the beads pressed in my ass. I was soon writhing and desperate to come. He pushed the final beads in very slowly and gradually. He held me in desperation for what felt like an eternity. It probably wasn’t long but when you’re on the edge of orgasm every nanosecond takes forever.

After fucking me and making me come (a whole lot), he left me in bedroom with the behind back cuffs attached to my neck only, and my Gigi. (I can’t find a link to the cuffs. May not be available any more from sextoy.com. They consist of a leather collar, a long leather piece that goes down your back and cuffs at the end of that to secure your wrists.) He told me to warm myself up and I masturbated happily. I teased myself and made myself feel good. MasterDoc came back in several minutes later and asked if I was ready to be fucked. I replied, “Yes Sir,” and he took me to living room.

There I found the sybian all ready to go. After getting it condomed and lubed up, he put me on it and then used the cuffs to restrain my arms behind my back. He sat in front of me and gave me a hell of a ride. He was teasing so much but meanwhile I was so turned on by the bondage that I became wildly aroused at a lower setting than usual. He told me I didn’t need to hold off on begging to come if it wasn’t his cock in side me. (He usually wants me to wait as long as possible to beg for permission when he’s fucking me.) I begged soon after for orgasm and he let me come. My head leaned against his chest and kept me from toppling over. The sybian was still on fairly low vibration but I couldn’t resist begging  him to turn it up and it made me come again, this time harder and I squirted all over the machine. He kept me feeling like jello and spasming for a while. He turned it down, and told me to come down slowly. But then he turned it up a little and made me come again before turning it slowly off.

Needless to say I was tired, but very happy.

The slave got to see me briefly as I came outside to help them bring their toys in from the car. They brought a large cage to keep her in. Her Master had her wait in the hall outside the apartment until the cage was set up, then he blindfolded her and brought her in. He spent some time alone with her in the bedroom where the cage sat and then left her in her cage for a little while. She was blindfolded with an elastic bandage.

He came out and spoke to the rest of us about what was planned. He had also brought along a switchy lady he had been talking to (who is really cool. I totally want to hang with her again). So there were four ladies and two men. (Cue the Beach Boys: “Two girls for ev-ry Dom!”) The evening started off with the rest of us being silent, so she couldn’t tell who was touching her or how many people there were. Their relationship is much more formal than mine and MasterDoc’s – he had her crawl around the whole time, she has specific positions she needs to get into on command. He seems to inflict more pain than I think I could take, but perhaps it was more the kinds of pain than how much? I’m not sure.

After he had her display herself (first position was kneeling up, legs spread, arms behind back, head back and mouth open, she looked lovely) we took turns groping her. MasterDoc was not shy and immediately went over to see how wet her cunt was. I needed a little waving forward from her Dom after MasterDoc finished, but I enjoyed her soft breasts and toyed with her cunt a little. I don’t know why I get so damn shy with women. The other lady then played with her.

The details are hard to follow as so much happened that night. I know I got a little cuddle from MasterDoc while the other lady fingered the slave. I stroked his back as he stroked his cock watching the slave get used. DeeDee also came over and played with him a bit.

When the lady was done, MasterDoc slipped on a condom and fucked her. Her Master told me to kiss her and so I made out with her while MasterDoc pounded her. (Kinda hard to keep kissing when she is moved around so much from the pounding.) The slave was an attractive lady, so it was definitely a pleasure to play with her. (I’d hang with any and all of the people involved again.)

The two Doms decided that the slave would eat me out, and so she went down on me. I actually pushed her head down a little as she was just above my clit. The other Dom played with my tits and MasterDoc did as well. I came – having been given permission to come at will – but not quite with the same intensity I come with MasterDoc. In fact, MasterDoc and DeeDee hadn’t realized I came! And if any two people would know what I look like during orgasm it’s them. But I not only came, I squirted. A couple of times. MasterDoc thought I was in a state of frustration, but I expressed that actually, I had had enough.

Her Dom bit my nipple so hard! I’m not used to prolonged strong biting. My nipples are pretty sensitive and we don’t do a lot of nipple torture. MasterDoc is fond of flicking my nipples with his fingers – which hurts, but not so much the other stuff. MasterDoc had been doing this flicking on her clit over and over earlier.

At some point, her Master had her masturbate in front of us. I watched her rub her clit and wondered when she’d be allowed to come. After a while, he gave her a toothbrush to masturbate with. Yes, she rubbed her clit (or just above it, more on the clitoral hood) with the bristles of a toothbrush. Ouch.

She was spanked a bit with an acrylic (I think) cane. MasterDoc spanked her as well. MasterDoc flogged her a little. She ended up going down on the other woman, and while her ass was in the air doing that MasterDoc fucked her. DeeDee jumped in and started playing with his ass, but the other Dom asked her to take more photos. (Yes, there are photos of this. No, I don’t think I will get to share any here.) As she used the camera I took over playing with MasterDoc’s ass as he likes. I truly enjoyed seeing him enjoy himself. He was like a little boy at Christmas. I think I’m finally at a point where I can accept that new pussy is sort of a fetish of his, and that he will always look for it, but that he loves me and will come back to me. He took the time to pretty much tell me this as he fucked her and kissed me.

I lose the thread of the story about now. I know the other Dom fingered (quite expertly it seemed) the other lady. The other Dom didn’t play with myself or DeeDee at all – except to put cups on our nipples. (e.g., cupping as used in some Asian medicine). The suction hurt me just too much! My left nipple was already sore from him biting on it, and just the other day I chose to endure the clover clamps for a while. I just couldn’t handle the feeling of the suction on my tender nipples. But at one point all of us ladies had cups attached to our nipples by suction.

Her Master had her drink out of a dog bowl on the floor, but treated her to a diet root beer later after she had already been a good girl for a while.

She was still blindfolded through this, mind you. He took out a dental gag and I drooled. MasterDoc joked that he was making him look bad – after all he brought out all sorts of toys that I ask and hope for but don’t usually get used on me. With the dental gag in, he dragged the wartenburg wheel all over her body. Fuck. I was so turned on watching this that my body would involuntarily twitch. I so want that  for myself. I cringed a little when he ran it over her sore pussy, but I’ll bet it was ultimately wonderful.

The slave was put over the Liberator scoop at one point and cuffed down by wrists and thighs. I think I wandered off to the kitchen at this point, so my recall of what happened is spotty. (I know, I know, I do my best to fill you guys in entirely but a human being can only do so much!) There had been some cock sucking along the line (perhaps most interesting was her Dom putting his cock in her mouth from above as she lay on the floor being used by others).

She was finally allowed to come as her Dom used the Hitachi on her – and she squirted a ton. Next the other Dom made the other lady come, and MasterDoc got DeeDee and I to come simultaneously on the sofa on either side of him. While I had come a few times, I didn’t come with the intensity possible when MasterDoc focuses, and thankfully he wanted to make me come hard, and used the Hitachi on me some more and made me squirt a river as he made me come on the couch.

The hour grew late, and the planned double penetration didn’t happen.  But to finish off her Dom and MasterDoc took her into the bathtub and peed on her simultaneously. And she didn’t get to kneel like DeeDee and I get to, she had to lay down and have them piss in her mouth. Yikes. I would freak out over that. I know MasterDoc plans to get me to the point of pissing in my mouth some time, but that one’s going to be much harder to overcome than ass licking was. I stayed in the living room talking to DeeDee and the other lady. But DeeDee got called in to take photos. She looked awfully queasy when she returned.

The slave was left alone to shower off and came back out with the blindfold on. All the goodies they brought along got packed up, and we all said our thank yous and goodbyes. For a night when I thought I’d be totally antisocial, it ended up being pretty freaking hot. I must say however, that the selfish girl in me wishes I had been the center of attention. The next morning, DeeDee and I talked about how our evening had been something that previously (previous to getting into the lifestyle) we would have thought happened only in novels. But yes, these evenings of utter debauchery do happen. I don’t make up these stories, I only chronicle them. I am thrilled to be at the level of perviness that these hot group things go on from time to time. I am a lucky girl.

We cuddled a bit in the bedroom and I told him that I was feeling really passive. (Sometimes I just want to be teased and tormented and not taking such an active role. In the past this has gotten me called a pillow princess, but lately I’m much more active so I can get away with this now and then) This worked out because he was already planning  to tie me down to the bed (via the under the bed restraints). He made sure the lines were pulled tight so my arms were spread as wide as possible. I was truly helpless. He  blindfolded me.

He licked my clit for a while, something that feels divine. He teased me with a vibrator, and after inserting it to stimulate my g-spot, he licked my clit some more until he made me come (giving permission for the orgasm of course).

He left the room for a few minutes. I of course remained where I lay since I couldn’t move at all. He returned with some ice which he used on my clit. He took a phone call during this, and I was left to stifle my cries as he teased my cunt some more with the bitterly cold ice. I don’t like being cold! Applied to my pussy for too long it hurts.

He had talked about play piercing and I was nervous he’d follow through on the idea of nipple piercing. (And wouldn’t you know it, I was scared of that but my body gave me away by twitching in arousal when he spoke about it.) He felt my body, searching for the right place to put a needle or two. He came to my inner thighs and said that’s the spot. I’m freaked out as my inner thighs are incredibly sensitive. I dreaded a needle going through the flesh there. He swabbed my left inner thigh with an alcohol wipe and grabbed a hold of a chunk of flesh.

I could have sworn he was putting a needle in, and I cringed appropriately. But he had the last laugh. He had just pinched my thigh with his hand – he didn’t use a needle. But I was so psyched up into thinking “piercing” that he didn’t need to actually do it for me to feel the sensation. Pretty wild and an excellent mindfuck.

Next he put nipple clamps on and left the room. I was turned on by the fact of my utter helplessness and the fact that he can inflict pain on my body if he chooses. That’s power.

When he returned he fucked me while I was tied down. I couldn’t get my legs apart as much as usual since my ankles were cuffed to the edges of the bed, but he managed to fuck me quite well (albeit not quite as deep as usual). As I came, he choked me a little during orgasm. No real air constriction, but a firm hand at my throat. Fuck, that made it hotter. I was a happy puddle afterward. (And had a puddle of girl cum under my ass too.)

He untied my arms and gave me some aftercare. Next he had me suck his cock for a while, and I reveled in it and fantasized about dirty things like being fucked from behind with clover clamps on while gagged. I never ask for the clover clamps – they hurt like a motherfucker! While I was fantasizing about him inflicting more pain on me, he gagged me on his cock. I’m thrilled that he does that pretty often lately. We’ve both found something new we enjoy. He had me get on top of his hard cock for a ride. He teased me with a long, slow fuck. He made me come for a long, languorous time. I had to lay down to rest after, and could have easily fallen asleep.

But wait, there’s more! I told him my fantasy from earlier. He put on the clover clamps right after mentioning that I probably couldn’t handle them for the entire time he fucks me. He gave me permission to remove them if I needed. I wore them longer than one would think I could manage. I was  kneeling at the end of the bed with the clamps biting into my nipples as he fucked me. I don’t know what it is, I guess it’s my masochism, or need to submit, but there’s something erotic about knowing he can hurt me – that he has the authority to make me hurt. He has the authority to fuck me while he makes me hurt. Damn that’s hot. I ended up pulling off the clamps mid orgasm. And I squirted some more on the throe. (That thing desperately needs a cleaning now.)

He got hard again and had me ride him another time. I wasn’t sure that I had the stamina at that point, but his cock feels so good it kept me going. He squeezed my boobs hard, which doesn’t feel as good as nipple pinching would. He made me come again, and a little later, again.

I was spent, but MasterDoc had yet to come. He put on some porn, and I gave him a prostate massageas he stroked his cock. He was laying on his side, which usually puts me off kilter in regards to finding his prostate, but I’ve gotten better at feeling that little “walnut” texture of the gland to find it. I was distracted by the porn myself, as the storyline of the maid who is then gang banged by the dinner guests and the butler turned me on immensely. I was just dying to be the center of a few men at that moment. I focused enough on making him feel good to get him to shoot a big load. (The throe was a complete cummy mess by this time from him and me.) Since I was thoroughly enjoying the slutty porn he told me I could continue watching and he gave me permission to make myself come. I grabbed my Gigi as my preferred masturbating hand had just been in his ass (and we don’t want a vaginal infection to result). I rubbed the vibe on my clit for just a few moments. While watching the woman get double penetrated while sucking a third guy’s cock, I made myself come hard.

I finished watching the video, and MasterDoc came back in the bedroom. He asked if I had decided not to masturbate, but I said that no, I had come already.

What an entirely amazing afternoon.

We had sex yesterday afternoon, but it didn’t go well. Suffice it to say I felt like I needed intimacy and closeness, and MasterDoc thought a beating and objectification were in order. It wasn’t. It wasn’t anything traumatic, even with my collar on I’d have spoken up if trauma was going to happen. I know he would want to know such things. But I started off cranky and just became more annoyed as he beat me, and then fucked me. I didn’t get turned on. I didn’t come. Now in his defense, treating me rough and as a fucktoy can get me really worked up oftentimes. It just so happens that this particular afternoon it did the opposite. I went off to take a nap after, and griped about the experience to him before I went to sleep (after my collar was off). Once we both got up from our naps we talked, and thankfully I realize that he’s a human being, and therefore not perfect. I don’t expect him to be. So often he does exactly the right thing for me, but it’s to be expected in the real world that now and then he’ll misjudge what’s needed. I’m proud of myself that acted appropriately as a sub and didn’t mouth off during it, but I waited til after when my collar was off and we could talk about it.

I feel like our relationship is getting better all the time. I’m learning not to overreact to things. We discuss things much more calmly than before. (He’s always been a proponent of calm.) I’m learning not to expect perfection from him. I’m sure I’ve said before that I don’t expect him to be perfect, but I think on some level a submissive wants his/her Dom to be like a god – perfect, always worthy of awe. But while we have those moments and they’re beautiful, in real life people are not perfect. I know that a worthwhile Dom is one who takes the time to learn from their mistakes. A worthwhile Dom is one that can admit that he/she fucked up. And a worthwhile submissive works with his/her Dom to make things better, and still respects the Dom even when they’ve made a mistake and admit it.

Later, we were supposed to go out to the swing club (me, MasterDoc and DeeDee), but when MasterDoc called the owner up it turns out it’s closed currently for construction. Phooey. We had all been looking forward to going out.

We decided to make our own fun at home, even though it meant we didn’t have the audience we’d have at a club. DeeDee, ever creative, started role playing being a stranger who has come to play with a new couple (MasterDoc and I). We didn’t keep up with it for long, but it was fun and inventive to role play.

MasterDoc had DeeDee keep the camera handy. Lately he’s into getting photos of my face during orgasm. I really wish I could share them here. It’s so interesting for me to see as I don’t normally see myself during orgasm. We joked around a bit, as we were all in a pretty silly mood. Then we started to focus and get down to business. MasterDoc quickly put me in my happy place (aka subspace) by stroking my face and my body. It’s wonderful how with just a little focus he can put me there so easily now.

He had to interrupt the proceedings to use the bathroom, and alas he decided to piss on DeeDee. I could hear them in the bathroom next door as he made her come while he pissed on her. I played with some of my Lelo toys (the Gigi til the power ran out and the Nea after). MasterDoc came back in to me after, and he realized that he couldn’t just start up with me again. After such an intense scene, DeeDee needed aftercare. He thought it would be cute if we each cuddled her from either side and he got her to come in and lay on the bed between us. It was definitely a good thing and I joked that she was getting the “deluxe aftercare” last night. As horny as I was, I could put that aside for a moment to enjoy cuddling. DeeDee and I don’t really cuddle, but it wouldn’t be a bad thing to do at all.

She was going to rest on the floor after she felt better – she didn’t want to keep us from fooling around, but she didn’t want to be alone either. I could totally understand that and was fine with her staying there. She didn’t get to rest much, however, before MasterDoc got her taking photos.

To be continued….

She’s going to give me details, as I sat here writing blog entries while her sub was over. He seems like an exceptionally nice man, and did he get the kitchen floor clean! While Miss DeeDee prepared for him (and after he had showered) she instructed him to massage my feet. I kept typing on my laptop as this naked man gave me a good footrub. But I don’t yet know the details of when she took him into the bedroom after.

A bit later, MasterDoc and I had some time to reconnect. It’s funny, but after spending the night elsewhere I felt a desperate need to reconnect. He was perfectly fine. I’m such a mushy gal. He took me into the bedroom and lay me down. He got me into sub mode, and had already arranged for DeeDee to come in and take pictures. Stroking my face, talking to me, playing with my cunt, he made me come. There’s now a set of photos of me during orgasm, which was precisely what he wanted – to capture the many faces I make when I come. Too bad I can’t post most of them because I don’t post my face here. There is at least one, however, that I can post once I get it from DeeDee.

I had to struggle to maintain that orgasm when MasterDoc’s phone rang twice in succession. The ring on his phone is so loud and distracting! He said I did a good job, but in my mind I was fantasizing about throwing the damn thing across the room.

After the photos, MasterDoc gave me a good beating. He seemed to be pushing me extra hard. Could just be my perception, but he seemed to keep going longer than usual after I’d start crying out in pain. Still, I took what he dished out like a good girl and then he fucked me after. Again, he told me not to beg to come (and of course I cannot come without permission). He fucked me a long time and I was so desperate to come! Oh my lack of god, it felt amazing but what a tease! It seemed endless. Finally, he told me to come and I pretty much instantly came.

I was still horny a few minutes later, and MasterDoc said I could masturbate if I wanted, but that he was done. I soon forgot the idea of masturbating and moved on to getting a snack.

We watched some porn – and this time I actually watched instead of being distracted by him fucking me. I stroked his hair as we lay by each others side. As the porn turned me on I started touching myself. I played with my breasts and nipples, something I rarely do during masturbation. I shyly reached a hand down to my pussy and started playing there. Intermittently, I’d touch him, stroking his back.

Right before having sex with me, MasterDoc looked me in the eye and told me that I was to hold off coming indefinitely. I was not allowed to beg for orgasm like I usually do. Just him giving me this directive, with that firm look in his eyes, made me wet. I struggled to keep my arousal under control as he fucked me. But of course I just kept thinking about how hot it was that he could use my body for his pleasure. It seems as if telling me not to come makes me just want to come more!

We cuddled up after the fucking, and his phone rang. This distracted me so when he told me to come a moment later, I wasn’t anywhere near ready to come. He talked to me about keeping with where we are mentally. After all, the phone can be ignored. I’ll try to do better next time.

My memories of that evening are in bits and pieces, so forgive me if this isn’t as coherent as most posts.

As we cuddled I did some spot worship (see 5th paragraph in that post), and he called me the “High Priestess of Spot Worship.” Hee hee. I know how to play with his special spot really well by now. I stroke his chest languidly, focusing on “the spot” but also touching the rest of his torso – from tummy to collar bone. I’ve joked that I want a sex toy company to make a toy version of his spot so if I ever lose him I can stroke it for comfort.

He had me suck his cock for a while, and I struggled a bit with the reservoir tip of the condom tickling the back of my throat. That’s the only thing I truly hate about blow jobs with condoms.

At one point, I was laying down in such a way that I was looking up at him – and I mentioned that I loved the perspective. Having him above me like that felt so representative of the power dynamic between us. I thought about the idea of him being a god for the length of our scenes. The majority of the time, we’re two humans with strengths and weaknesses. But when we play we can be something else for a while. He can be a god to me, and I can feel safe in his arms. He can be in control, which he likes and I can give up control, which I like. (Of course, ever the irreverent Dom, MasterDoc made some funny noises and hand motions when I said I liked the perspective. Kinda changed the feeling!) Many times that night I felt like declaring I’m his, over and over.

He fucked me from behind a couple of times with that order not to come or ask to come still applying. His cock wasn’t cooperating as much as he would have liked, so the fucking didn’t last long. He had intended to fuck me until he came.

I was feeling really ready for limit pushing, and he had me give his asshole a big kiss. I still don’t like doing it, but it’s hot in the way that I’m being told what to do. Thankfully it is always freshly cleaned when he has me do it. I still pause a second and give him a “do I have to?” look before doing what he tells me to do.

We took a break, and he checked on DeeDee. (She struggles with depression like I do, and was having a tough day.) MasterDoc planned to fuck me later that night as I got so drowsy I was ready to fall asleep, but that got put off. (Something for the wishing box.)