Archive for the 'humiliation play' Category

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Nadia’s Surprise

Published on February 1, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, cunt, D/s, edge play, flogging, horny, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, needle play, nipple clamps, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, poly, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, sybian, threesome and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

MasterDoc informed me on Saturday that he had a surprise planned for me on Sunday. I looked forward to it, but at the same time I was horny and wanted to fool around! I had to be patient Saturday night, but it paid off on Sunday. You see, my surprise was Blondie coming over so the two of them could top me. Rowr.

They decided amongst themselves to do a medical scene. MasterDoc got two of his white lab coats and they each put one on. They took me into the bedroom and secured me spread eagle with the under bed restraints. I giggled a lot as they spoke as if they were doctors who were going to treat me. Apparently the treatment was for the fact that I hadn’t had an orgasm since Thursday.

But before I’d get an orgasm, they played around with clamps and clothespins. When the clover clamps were removed from my labia a few minutes later I let out a scream. Blondie seems noticeably more sadistic than MasterDoc. He had warned me a long time ago that female Doms were vicious. Blondie put a clothespin on my nasal septum – ow! You should have heard me begging to have it taken off. “Ow! Ow! Please take it off! Please take it off! I can’t take it! Please take it off!” I don’t care if that makes me sound like a wimp, it hurt like a motherfucker! After a good amount of torture (including clamps strung from my nipples to my labia) MasterDoc took on the magic wand and made me come. I gushed a ton and it must have been amazing to watch. Unfortunately that meant my throe was soaking wet the rest of the evening.

Blondie took some photos of me in flagrante delicto while bound to the bed. I will post some here when she sends them to me.

They did so much to me and it was dizzying to get so much attention, stimulation and orgasms that I’m sure I’ll leave out parts unintentionally. I hope that if Blondie or MasterDoc read this and remember something I’ve forgotten, they will leave a comment or comments.

My arms were so sore from being held above me (not to mention the fact that I tend to tense up while in bondage and being tortured like that). They let me free and then had me get on hands and knees. MasterDoc inserted two needles into one butt cheek. Blondie, who has training in acupuncture, got to try doing needle play that day (she’s done it on the receiving end before, I believe.). Unfortunately, with her experience in solid, thin acupuncture needles, she inserted the hollow hypodermic needles very slowly. MasterDoc asked later how that was for me – if it was better than his technique. I had to say no. It prolonged the pain in a bad way – pain with the first puncture, the feeling of the needle dragging through the skin and then the pain as the needle came out the skin – and didn’t seem to increase the endorphin rush at all. There was caning. And MasterDoc fingering my ass. And probably another orgasm? As I said, the afternoon is a blur.

I got a brief rest, and Blondie came back in with her strap on. Rowr. She has a nice size cock. I knelt on the bed and she tried to enter me from behind while I sucked MasterDoc’s cock, which was right in front of my face. I had to scoot to the end of the bed and put my feet on the floor so she could get the right angle. It was fucking hot to be fucked at one end and sucking cock at the other. MasterDoc seemed particularly hard. I think I was allowed to come again during this – my brain cells have been scrambled by all the delicious orgasms.

Next, they changed ends and MasterDoc fucked me while I sucked on Blondie’s strap on. I squirted some more, worrying that perhaps I was splashing the carpet a bit. I kept slacking off on the strap on sucking and getting admonished by both of them to keep it up.

We stopped for dinner, which was perfect timing. I was exhausted by this time!

After dinner, I was given the pleasure (“job” didn’t seem the right word) of warming up Blondie for a ride on the sybian. I had her on the bed, fingering her cunt. MasterDoc came in and took over and I started sucking on her tits while he fingered her. The girl let out some of her usual piercing screams of pleasure. In MasterDoc’s building I worry less about neighbors being disturbed by orgasmic shouts – as long as it’s not late at night.

We moved to the living room and I sat in front of Blondie while she rode the sybian. She could lean on me and I got to be up close as she came. It was pretty damn amazing (as always) listening to the noises that are yanked out of a woman as she becomes very aroused and orgasms. MasterDoc ran the controls and it was definitely cool to hold her during the experience. I do have a better understanding now of why MasterDoc enjoys giving sybian rides so much.

As Blondie recovered, I asked if I could get a sybian ride. (Yeah, I know, greedy slut.) MasterDoc started warming me up, then Blondie sat on my other side on the couch and they both played with my body. MasterDoc excused himself to set up the sybian for the next ride and left Blondie warming me up. This was the first sybian ride in a while for me. Blondie gave me some hard caning while I got worked up on the sybian. I asked permission to come, and MasterDoc consulted with Blondie… and she said no I couldn’t yet! Argh! She really is too tough for me. *grin* She wanted me to grind and hump the machine so I gladly obliged, hoping for permission to come. It was eventually granted, and I kept coming and coming and coming. I felt exhausted, but I couldn’t stop coming as long as the stimulation was there. It was kinda hot in a way. I collapsed on the floor for a while after, dazed and content.

Dark Fantasy

Published on January 15, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dom, edge play, exhibitionism, fantasy, gang bang, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Depression is not helpful for a fun sex life, so I haven’t done anything much with MasterDoc in a few days. (Except for a therapeutic caning Tuesday night that really did seem to lift my mood.) But I’ve been thinking naughty things and figured I’d write a little fantasy. Note: I refer to MasterDoc both as Sir and MasterDoc in this story. The rest of the characters don’t have names.

I can hear people arriving from where I lay in the bedroom. I’m playing with my cunt because Sir has told me to get it ready. I have no idea who is coming into the apartment or what will happen, but I do as I’m told.

I’m fairly close to orgasm when Sir comes in. He gives me a talk, hands on either side of my face, and tells me that I’m not to let him down. I’m to be a good little cunt and do as he says. He leads me into the living room where there’s about three men and one woman. I vaguely know one or two but not the others. I’m naked, except for my collar, leather cuffs on each wrist and ankle, and a leash hanging from the D ring on my collar. Sir leads me into the center of the room with the leash.

He takes a seat in a chair, and motions for me to sit on the floor by his feet. I do so and he starts talking. “Here’s our submissive cunt for the evening. Remember, condoms are to be used for any vaginal or anal sex. You are free to fuck her or make her go down on you as you wish, but you must clear any pain play with me first.”

I don’t know whether to be excited or scared. I’m looked at like a piece of meat laid out for a pack of hungry animals. He sends me around to each of our guests and instructs me to nuzzle their crotches through their pants. I crawl up to where each sits and do as I’m told, catching a whiff of muskiness from each crotch.

After I’ve finished this, he says, “Come back here slut. It’s time we got you warmed up.” These words make me anticipate genital stimulation, but when he grabs the canes I realize that’s not what he had in mind.

My wrist cuffs are joined together in front of me by a carabiner – something too short for me to undo myself. He swats my ass with the canes as I kneel face down, ass up. I hold still when I can handle the sensation but flinch forward when it hurts. The crowd admonishes me to say still whenever I flinch and I do my best. When my ass is quite sore, MasterDoc has me kneel on the floor and take his cock out of his pants with my bound hands. I suck him hard, and when his cock is its full size he grabs hold of my hair tightly. One of the guests says, “Oh yeah, choke her on it!’

He forces my head down so that his cock is entirely in my mouth. I can feel my throat working as I struggle not to gag. I last several seconds, and then MasterDoc pulls my head away as globs of saliva run down my chin and form a string between his cock and my mouth. He does this several times until I’m breathless and a bit lightheaded. Sometimes he slaps my face when he’s pulled it off his cock. I can feel the hands of some of our guests start to grope my body. One hand checks out my wet cunt. Another squeezes a nipple.

I am thrust back down onto the floor but this time on my back. The woman grabs hold of my cuffs and holds my hands above my head. One of the men takes a cane to my thighs and cunt when MasterDoc hands it to him. I figure this was something pre-agreed upon. Thankfully, Sir had passed him the lightest cane we have.

Still, ugly red stripes start to form on my inner thighs. When he smacks my cunt with it I think I can’t possibly handle the pain. One of the men places a strip of duct tape across my mouth so my cries won’t disturb the neighbors. MasterDoc and one of the other men holds my legs apart so I can’t get away from the cane blows.

Just as the pain makes me cry, MasterDoc signals to stop. Our guests back off, and MasterDoc holds me on the floor for a little while, telling me what a good girl I am. I cry softly, but it’s a cathartic release rather than any sadness.

Dinner delivery arrives and I wonder if the delivery person can see me naked and limp on the floor in the living room. My wrists are undone and the tape removed from my mouth so I can get up and serve dinner. I set the table, fetch drinks for our guests. They take liberties in touching me as I move around the table serving. Beforehand Sir told me I would be eating dinner on the floor. One of the men secures my wrist cuffs behind my back, and I have to eat without my hands, out of a bowl. Since leaning forward with my hands behind me would be too difficult, I am graciously allowed to have my bowl on a low stool so I don’t have to bend as far. As the guests eat and talk I’m mostly ignored, until one of them wants to comment on the mess on my face. I think to myself that there are animals with more dignity than I have right then. I eat as best I can. One of the men wipes my face with a warm, wet cloth and then pulls me by the hair until my mouth envelops his cock.

I suck and feel more hands on my body. I’m helpless as my wrists are behind me. I get pinched, poked, prodded. Someone produces a vibrator and holds it to my clit. It becomes so difficult to focus on my work on our guests’ cock that I slow down my efforts. I get my hair yanked and admonished to “Get back to work you dirty whore!” I try to focus but the vibe on my clit keeps distracting me.

My head gets moved around so I can suck all the cocks there. MasterDoc is stroking his cock and sizing me up as to what to do next.

I’m taken into the bedroom, where he lubes up my ass. My wrists are unbound so I can support myself in doggy-style. The woman takes off her clothes and lays down so my mouth is right at her crotch. I’m instructed to lick her pussy well (lest I get punished) and MasterDoc shoves his cock into my ass. He fucks me and I lick the clit and lips of this woman’s wet cunt. She moans and it seems like I’m doing a good job. MasterDoc, however, keeps varying his speed so I get terribly aroused and distracted. I’m desperate to come but I know that it won’t happen quickly tonight.

I had been asking for resistance play sometime, and I was told earlier that I would get it tonight. After a short break, for which I’m thankful, Sir slaps my face and grabs me by the hair. “Time to fight, cunt.” he tells me.

I struggle to get loose but of course our guests join in and grab various limbs. I feel myself forced onto the bed where my cuffs get secured to the underbed restraints. I struggle up until the last moment and at times I manage to slip an arm or a leg away from my tormentors. But in the end it’s useless. I’m spread eagle on the bed, terribly vulnerable. I’m gagged again, and blindfolded this time.

I feel the cool rub of alcohol swabs at various points on my body. MasterDoc gives a demonstration of play piercing to our guests. I get called all sorts of degrading names – fuck hole, pincushion, slut, cunt, bitch – while he pierces me. I get incredibly anxious when I feel him swab my outer labia – both sides. “This is gonna hurt, cunt.” he tells me. He has me breathe in deeply, and then while I’m breathing out he slides a sharp, sharp needle through one of my outer labia. We’ve done this before, but it’s still somehow shocking to have my labia pierced.

Sir strokes my body (and probably some guests do too, I’m not sure since I can’t see) to soothe me before he plants another needle in the other labia. He tugs on it a bit and I moan under my gag. A few more needles go in the skin on my chest, these are a bit hesitant so I wonder if it’s one or more of the guests doing the piercing. I can hear someone’s breath drawn in sharply. They’ve gotten a thrill from piercing me. From making me hurt. One of them says something admiringly about the tiny drop of blood that one of the piercings has brought out.

The needles are withdrawn and I can hear movements. Next thing I know, I’m being fucked by guest after guest. I’m allowed to come during this and keep orgasming too many times to count. The woman goes at me with her strap on. She’s positively vicious with pinching my nipples. The gag is taken off and a cock shoved into my mouth while my cunt is being fucked. The dual action of a cock being shoved into my throat and a cock being shoved into my cunt is overwhelming. Soon I’m gasping and drooling between cock thrusts. The lot of them make me come more than I ever thought possible while taking turns violating my body. I squirt a few times and can feel the throe beneath me soaking wet.

“You said you wanted me to be rougher with you,” says MasterDoc. He rips off the blindfold and I watch him jerk off onto throe. The guests undo my bindings, and MasterDoc shoves my face into his come and rubs me into it. As he holds my head to the puddle of come, I can feel other guys shooting their loads all over my back. I’m a totally come-covered whore. And honestly, it’s bliss.

The guys take me into the shower and MasterDoc commands me to kneel down. I’m sticky with come and they offer to rinse me off. It seems like I’m instantly surrounded and they’re all pissing on me. I cry silently from the humiliation. They all tell me what a dirty piss whore I am.

They leave me, reeking of piss and shivering in the cold tub. The last thing Sir said when he left was that I was allowed to shower. I quickly rinse the piss off my body and out of my hair. I towel off and put my cuffs and collar back on and return to the living room where everyone’s having drinks.

MasterDoc motions for me to sit on the sofa next to him and I do. He puts his solid arms around me and kisses my forehead. “You’ve been a very good slut today. I’m proud of you.” I glow with pride over having been used, abused and come through it feeling amazingly calm. Endorphins rock.

Our guests leave a short time later, all thanking me for the good time. I thank them of course and MasterDoc has me kneel on the floor and kiss everyone’s crotches goodbye.

After they’ve left, we snuggle in bed. I’m exhausted but so very happy.

Fantasy Vignettes

Published on January 4, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, D/s, edge play, exhibitionism, fantasy, gags, gang bang, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

Scene 1: I’ve been kidnapped and I awaken tied up, naked, wrists and ankles bound, duct tape across my mouth. He teases and tantalizes my body despite my protests. My nipples receive the clover clamps. He grabs me by the hair and makes me suck his cock after he rips the tape off. He makes me come over and over despite my fighting it. He fucks me while I’m unable to get away because I’m bound.

Scene 2: Struggling with him, fighting him off. Him calling me a whore and other degrading things. Him slapping me around. Him spanking me even when I start getting desperate for him to stop. He could just gag me with duct tape and go to town on my ass with the cane. I could lay over the axis for the beating, and then be in just the right position for a fucking.

Scene 3: He fucks my mouth as I hang my head off the end of the bed. He gags me repeatedly on his cock. At the end, he comes all over my face.

Scene 4: He blindfolds me and lets all sorts of people at the swing club play with me and fuck me. I don’t get to know who fucked me.

Scene 5: I’m intoxicated to the edge of sleep and then fucked repeatedly by a group of men, all orchestrated by MasterDoc. This would be videotaped so I could fully enjoy after.

Scene 6: I have to do my best to move around and do things like suck his cock while my arms are restrained behind my back.

Scene 7: I become his slave for a few hours. I have to sit at his feet. I have to be always respectful or I get the cane. He would use me as he likes sexually. He can make me sit in the corner or tie me to something at a whim. I’d have to get his permission to use the toilet. He would make me wait until I was desperate and begging for it, and then he’d bring me (by leash perhaps?) into the bathroom, where he’d let me pee in the tub through my panties.

Scene 8: I ‘m bound at a party at his place (possibly just hands behind back or perhaps some ankle restraint as well so I have to shuffle along as I walk) and the guests get to play with my naked body as it pleases them. My hands are released for dinner but I have to eat mine out of a bowl on the floor, seated next to his chair, while the guests eat at the table. He later makes me masturbate to orgasm in front of the crowd. With a little luck, I squirt when I come.

Needs

Published on December 28, 2010 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, consensual non-consent, cunnilingus, D/s, depression, electrosex/tens unit, flogging, humiliation play, impulses, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, Uncategorized and wishing box. 0 Comments

Perhaps after being sick I just needed some deep reconnection. When you’re sick, you’re very isolated. You are the only one going through what you’re going through, plus others keep a distance to avoid contagion. The aches and pains and nose blowing keeps your focus and takes away from your interactions with others. You withdraw because you need the rest.

When I was fairly over being sick, MasterDoc and I had sex a couple of times, but somehow it was not quite what I needed. He pissed on me. I came, much to my continuing shame. He beat me. He really pushed my pain tolerance. And he made me come. I hit a soothing state of calm and relaxation post-beating. But somehow I still didn’t feel satisfied. I felt guilt over this. But I still felt like something I needed wasn’t being met. After talks, I think MasterDoc figured out what I needed, because that’s what he gave me. That evening he said lovely things about being happy with me, me being cute, etc. I needed reassurance that I was still attractive. I needed reassurance that I was still loved. I know the last bit sounds strange, after all I certainly know he loves me. But I just needed to be reassured. And I felt soothed by his love and reassurances. I needed attention. I had felt frustrated earlier because he used the “suck my dick and then hop on for a ride” thing two days in a row (i.e., no foreplay for Nadia). I felt distanced, I felt like my enjoyment of the sex didn’t make a difference. I felt removed from the sex. This depressed me.

Well ok, brain chemicals made me depressed, but this is what I got depressed about when given the right mental climate.

I craved touch. I craved attention. I realized that the touching was more important to me than the orgasms that night. And so he held me. He caressed me. I felt so much better in his arms and with his hands on me. I just needed to be touched. I think probably everything else could have been the same and if more touching was just added I would have found it satisfying as usual. My skin was hungry.

The next day he did more of the same. He told me that while he thinks it’s “lazy Dom’s prerogative” to tell the sub to get aroused and ready for fucking without any help, he doesn’t think that should be the norm and he could understand how it seems like a trend to me – but it really isn’t a trend in our sex life. He took time to play with my ass with the e-stim machine. My cunt was wet and swollen and as he zapped my ass I was so aroused. He fingered me, toyed with my clit. He made me come and squirt.

He continued to be very hands on, and I was happy to have him fuck me. He fucked me from behind and I savored when he’d grab hold of me and give me a good fucking. I think in addition to touch I crave being “taken.” I’ve been thinking lately that I want to be able to role play becoming someone’s sex slave involuntarily. For some reason I get turned on by pretending I don’t want to do what I’m doing sexually. I want to be physically forced or encouraged to do things. I want to be be tied up (or cuffed, rather) and gagged.

But I digress. I toyed with his balls and such with my Siri vibrating. When he did eventually ask if I could get on top of his cock and ride, I was thoroughly into it. I fucked him, rocking myself back and forth on his cock. I came so close to orgasm. He kept taking me to the edge. It was almost as if I couldn’t get enough of his cock sliding in and out of me. I wanted to come so, so badly.

I had to stop when my hips got sore and tired. I can do straddling for only so long. I lay next to him and he had enjoyed the fuck wholeheartedly. I still wanted to come, so I calmly mentioned that yes, the fuck was amazing, but I had wanted to come so badly. Since I asked nicely, he helped me come by using his fingers. I squirted some more and was just bowled over by the feeling of his hands in my cunt, on my cunt, around my cunt.

Brat

Published on November 25, 2010 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, D/s, dom, edge play, embarrassment, emotions, gags, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sadism, sex, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

While emotional outbursts, for me, are often caused by depression or anxiety issues, sometimes I’m just being a spoiled brat. Last Saturday I got cranky and pouty because the evening I thought I was to have alone with MasterDoc got changed around when DeeDee didn’t leave for her Thanksgiving trip for an extra day. So of course since she’s away this week, MasterDoc opted to spend time alone with her that night.

I think the pouting worked in some way for me growing up, otherwise why do I default to it so often? It’s immature and pretty counterproductive. (Especially with MasterDoc, he likes things to be calm and me having a childish fit doesn’t help that.) He spoke with me that day and while I cried over some things that bother me, I ultimately left his place feeling happy. I had plans to see him for definite on Sunday afternoon, and Monday evening AND Tuesday evening. He was right when he pointed out, “What’s one evening’s delay?” Nothing really.

When I saw him Sunday I got a lecture about my behavior and while I agree that I was certainly being a brat, I don’t think all my displeasure was unfounded. But I’ll leave those details between myself and my Dom. He tossed out the theory that since I was an only child (for nearly 11 years), and developed that sense of entitlement many only children develop, that having it taken away so abruptly (at the dawn of puberty no less) has left me feeling the need to count every minute, every task I do, etc. and demand as much time and as much recognition for my work as possible. It’s pretty obnoxious when I think about it. But there was always this, “Hey that’s not fair!” thing going on with my brother and me. Becoming a sister was a far rougher transition than I had thought it would be. But what did I know at 10 years old? I resented my poor brother for many years, and only as we’ve both become adults have I taken the time to apologize.

I really can be a dysfunctional shit sometimes. I’m lucky my friends love me despite my flaws.

So it’s time for me to refocus on my attitude and my service. This is something I’ve decided in light of my recent behavior. I will try to not mentally keep tabs on all tasks I do versus what DeeDee does. I will try to be more gracious when plans change. I will try to be a better submissive.

After our discussion, there was much pleasurable cock sucking and choking. I enthusiastically blew him for as long as possible. When we lay close to each other, he made me come on command a few times. When he brought up the idea of piss play, he really hit the nail on the head when he pressed me to admit I want him to piss on me. I couldn’t deny it, although I really wanted to. The humiliation that came with it was hot, however.

He didn’t piss on me that day, but I did ride his cock for a good long time. It was quite a full-body exercise! It seemed like he drew out the teasing phase before each orgasm, and I just loved it. While I am desperate for release, I’m also enjoying how it feels to be brought to the edge of orgasm. Stimulation feels good!

Monday and Tuesday evenings were spent with MasterDoc as well. There was some really hot sex Monday night and MasterDoc talked me through being able to handle a ball gag without gagging. The trick is to breathe slowly through the nose. If you breathe too quickly it narrows the nasal passages and you get less air. I also found that having my head tilting down or to the side helped too – the saliva didn’t pool at the back of my throat so much as dribble out, so I didn’t feel like I was drowning in spit. The gag is pretty loose and at one point while tantalizing me, MasterDoc pulled on it. It fit snugly in between my lips and the very act of him doing that made me so hot as my head was pulled back. (I’m twitching right now in remembrance.) There was more marvelous fucking – this time with him on top.

I am a damn lucky bitch.

Tuesday was quieter, but he made me come like crazy after I warmed myself up with masturbation. I think there was also quite a bit of caning. After two consecutive days of great sex, I was feeling pretty content and doing less on Tuesday wasn’t a big deal.

I’m sure I’m leaving stuff out or have changed the evenings when a particular activity occured. This is what comes of not having as much time to write lately. I get to see MasterDoc tomorrow and after just a day away from him I’m ready for nooky again.

Happy Birthday and then the Rest

Published on November 21, 2010 in anxiety, bdsm, bored, caning, D/s, DeeDee, depression, exhibitionism, happy, humiliation play, kink, musings, orgasm on command, poly, sex, sex parties, sex toys, slump, spanking, sybian, Uncategorized and venting. 0 Comments

I had a wonderful birthday. Well, maybe not the time spent at work (this week sucked in that area), but MasterDoc really put effort into my birthday this year – something he usually doesn’t make a priority. (That’s everyone’s birthdays, not just mine. He’s not into birthdays or holidays.) Since he knows a little special treatment on my birthday means a lot to me, he went out of his way to make me happy. And I really appreciate it.

He took some time off from work to spend with me that evening, and then took DeeDee and I out for dinner at a nice Indian restaurant. (I voted to have her join us when he asked if I wanted that.) After dinner, we went back to his place and DeeDee settled down with the tv while I got some alone time with MasterDoc.

He had bought me a present and as soon as I saw the box – a Lelo box! – I was bowled over. I got the widest grin on my face and held the box close to me. He got me the Siri that I’ve been going on about wanting. He paid attention and got me something I so very much wanted and this touched me. (I LOVE the toy so far. Will keep me busy while I send my Gigi off for repair. It has suddenly started vibrating really loud and rattling.)

I got to use it that evening, and it is nice and intensely buzzy. He made me come a bunch of times – some by verbal command only, some by physical stimulation, some by fucking. He was very sweet and I found myself thinking, “Our dynamic hasn’t changed just because it’s my birthday. Make me suck your cock! Beat me!” I had asked specifically for a birthday spanking earlier in the day and I perked up when he gave me quite an intense spanking, one stroke for every year of my life and one to grow on. (Yeah, that was my idea when we had been talking earlier.) I really had a lovely time with him that evening.

The next night we went to the party where we were expected to do the coming on command thing. DeeDee was really nervous about doing it in front of a crowd, I was less so, but I can’t honestly say I wasn’t at all nervous. I know I’m incredibly conditioned at this point, but I was nervous nonetheless. MasterDoc got everyone’s attention. I had a blindfold on by then because I really just couldn’t look at the people. He explained what he was going to do, and then ran his fingers through mine and DeeDee’s hair as we sat on either side of him on a sofa. He gave the command, and despite our nerves we both came. I’m sure it was something to see. Even so, I’m glad I didn’t have to see the crowd around us.

Unfortunately, the party was uneven and I ended up feeling fairly frustrated and bored. The place was a decent space except it was freakin’ cold. I didn’t take my heavy cardigan off all evening. MasterDoc did cane, spank and make DeeDee and I come at the same time, our asses in the air. It was fun, but my mood was pretty dark.

I did manage to be a good sub for a change, and that night I kept quiet and positive as best I could. I felt tired and wanted to leave, but since MasterDoc brought the sybian (our entry fee) we had to hang out while the party host had various women take a ride. I was ready to leave a couple of hours before we actually got the chance to.

While my remembrance of that evening is pretty negative, I suppose there were many positives. I got to see someone very skilled do fire play. I was impressed by his focus and understanding of keeping the play safe yet stimulating. Our friend V. went to the party with us and she got the chance to do fire play with that gentleman a little later. I also had nice chats with various friendly perverts – the people who go to these parties are usually quite cool. I got to see Sofija a bit but she wasn’t feeling well.

But all in all, the party was a dud for me. I didn’t even want a sybian ride by the time it was offered. I just wanted something to eat and to go home.

MasterDoc treated us to the diner after, and this was a nice treat. V. came with us and it was definitely nice to hang out with her, even if the party wasn’t the best. I’m trying to be positive here. I was a total negative Nadia earlier today so I’m doing my best to perk up. But an evening alone wasn’t what was planned so I’m pretty bummed that’s how things ended up tonight. Shit happens, but it’s still frustrating and disappointing.

I wish this entry had more zing (and/or orgasms!) but I’m not feeling it tonight. Kinda like how we all felt at that party last night. I suppose not every day can be filled with magical bdsm orgasmic enchantment.

C’est la vie.

Endlessly Horny Slut

Published on November 17, 2010 in anal, analingus, bdsm, D/s, edge play, embarrassment, happy, horny, humiliation play, kink, libido, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, prostate massage, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, trust, Uncategorized and wax play. 0 Comments

I often think that time spent alone with MasterDoc in sexual situations can’t get any better. And then they do.

Early in the evening he was talking about how he canceled an “orgasm on command” demonstration he was planning at a party we’re going to Friday. I spoke up, saying that I really think it wouldn’t be a problem him making me come with just a touch and a word – even in front of an audience. He turned towards me on the sofa and said, “Oh really?” His hand caressed my face and he twined his fingers in my hair. “So you think you could come just from my command?” I was twitching a little and breathing heavy by this time and I answered, “Yes, Sir.”

“Then you can come.” The full-body cascade came over me and my left hand shot out and impotently grabbed at his nearest thigh. I was still dressed in my work clothes, and we hadn’t any foreplay whatsoever. Even as he gave me the command a small part of me doubted I could come, but I am so conditioned now that not coming wasn’t an option. Thankfully I didn’t squirt in my work pants (although many of you pervs out there would have loved reading about that!).

A phone call came in for him immediately after, and I caught my breath, stunned, while he spoke on the phone.

Later, after we had both had dinner, bathed and gotten ready for sex, I put on a video from theupperfloor.com. (Thanks again to the person who shared their password with me! Hawt stuff!) He had me plug in the HDMI cable so we could see the porn on the big screen tv. Just watching the goings on of training the house slaves got me so hot. We both loved a scene where Cherry Torn had a knife handle (dinner knife) slid up her ass, and then the magic wand was vibrated against the part sticking out. I thought to myself that it would be super hot for me to disappear to the kitchen and return with a table knife, but something in me prevented me from just doing that. I really need to be more proactive.

He had told me minutes before to get an ass toy that he could use to warm up my ass. Earlier I had pointed out it was a long time since we had anal sex, and he took that under consideration. I returned with an ass toy – silicone, sorta rippled, with a handle to press against the perineum.

With lube and toy in hand he had me get on hands and knees. I leaned against the sofa arm. He worked the toy into my ass and I was moaning before much really started. The idea of him violating my ass was just too, too hot. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on at various times, but fuck, it felt good. He teased me and my whole body tingled with excitement. Satisfied that he had heated me up, we adjourned to the bedroom with the porn.

I’ve been feeling extremely horny and slutty in recent days. I’m sure many of you are saying in disbelief, “Only in recent days?!” Since the feeling of shift I wrote about last week, I’ve felt like some blocks about doing things MasterDoc wants me to do are starting to disappear. (Not all of them sadly, but a few key ones.) On some levels, I live for pleasing him. I’m starting to fantasize about him doing things I formerly thought of as hard limits.

In the bedroom, he told me to get a toy that’s larger than the first one for preparing my ass for fucking. I used a slender, red-sparkle silicone dildo to work my ass and soon I was fucking myself with it like a bitch in heat. He really enjoyed watching this and let me come after a while.

He was ready to fuck my ass himself, and we tried to figure out the best position. Unfortunately this hesitation led to difficulties getting it in (a cock needs to be super hard for anal) so we took a break. (Note to gentlemen of a certain age: As this entry will demonstrate, you can still satisfy and drive a woman wild even if your cock isn’t cooperating. Seriously, as much as I love cock it is not the only thing that will get me off/make me happy.)

He made me come a ton of times via command and molesting my body. He decided that it would help him get hard for me to lick his ass. Normally I’d have been hesitant to get there, but that block I mentioned that seems to have moved? I didn’t really have a problem getting my tongue into his asshole as best I could. I really tried very hard to make him feel good. I’m enjoying more and more feeling like he’s in control and that makes it easier to do things I don’t like to do. By verbal command, he made me come TWICE while I licked his ass. As I started to come the first time I thought to myself, “Damn you!” because of the embarrassment of orgasming while my tongue was on his asshole.

At this point, is there anything this man can’t do to make me come?

During one of our interludes (while I tried to recover from so many orgasms), he declared that everything points to enforced exercise. Fuuuuuck! He’s decided that if I do squats I’m allowed to come when I can. He emphasized that the point wasn’t doing squats until I’m sore and exhausted, just a few until I can manage to come knowing he’s given me permission to come. I cringe at the very idea of coming from exercise. But if anyone can make me do it, he can. We shall see.

We fooled around for two hours or so, and a couple of times he kept making me come long past the point where I thought I could. In my exhaustion, I nearly begged him to stop. Nearly. I’m digging this forced orgasms thing though.

His cock cooperated towards the end of the evening, and he fucked me up the ass. I didn’t hear him give me permission to come so I rode the edge the entire time. It felt pretty damn amazing. (Note to Doms: Please give commands to come loudly and clearly, because if the sub has to ask, “What did you say, Sir?” it decreases the arousal just enough to limit the ensuing orgasm.)

More porn was watched. I fantasized about him pissing in my mouth as he went off to use the bathroom. I started masturbating before he came back. Since it seemed pretty clear we were “done” as far as getting me off, I considered my clit tickling to be masturbation and came at will. He joined me again on the bed, and a few moments later told me to come after I had already started, and I just kept coming and coming. I had squirted even before he gave me the command to come. It’s amazing how fast I can rub my clit when I’m aroused.

He wanted a prostate massage, so I worked his ass over for a while. I was really getting into it. We heard DeeDee come in during this, and MasterDoc decided to delay his orgasm. We said hello to DeeDee, heard about her date, and I voiced a need for cuddles and aftercare.

We cuddled. And just being close to him turns me on so very much. It gives me a helpless feeling, the way I get wildly aroused around him. Soon I was licking his “spot” and realizing that indeed, “spot worship” has become a fetish for me. Yes, I will admit, the middle of his hairy chest turns me on. I talked about how I would love for him to come in my mouth and then I’d play with rubbing his come all over my chest. The fantasy was so strong! It wasn’t in the cards though.

He still wanted to come so he had me help by giving him an ass massage as he jerked off. I tried my best to tune in and notice his reactions. To press firmly against his asshole and perineum in a way that would feel good. My fingers made him twitch for a while after he had shot his load. Even though I was tired by this point, my submissive nature helped me focus and enjoy making him come. Even though there were so many delicious orgasms last night, I wanted to be his endlessly horny slut. I’d certainly stop playing when he asked me to, but I aimed to be eager and ready at all times. Accomplishing this wasn’t too hard.

Is it any wonder I hesitate to try to fuck another guy? Without MasterDoc taking control how can another guy fucking me be anywhere near as hot as when I fuck MasterDoc? But if he told me to fuck a roomful of strangers it would be the hottest thing ever, and I would do it under his watchful eye. I am his slut. There is no denying that.

The Next Steps?

Published on November 11, 2010 in analingus, bdsm, bondage, D/s, dom, emotions, gang bang, humiliation play, kink, masochism, musings, piss play, restraints, sex parties, submissive, swinging, trust, Uncategorized and wishing box. 1 Comment

As my D/s relationship with MasterDoc develops, the focus can change over time. When I first met him of course the focus was teaching me precisely how he likes to be pleasured, getting me to remember to say “Sir,” and training my ability to come at his command. On the service side of things he taught me what chores he wants me to do, and how to prepare things how he likes them, etc.

Recently I’ve felt like there’s a shift – the shift hasn’t happened just yet but it feels like a new phase of our relationship is ready to begin. I’ve been contemplating for at least a week now telling him that if he wants me to lick his ass, then I would respect him even more if he made me do it despite my dislike of the activity. I think I’m at the point now where him making me do a few things I dislike (but know full well won’t harm me) is the way to go. Not so much to exercise power, but I think he, as the Dom, should feel free to engage in whatever experiences he would like to – and not give as much concern over what I like to do.* Of course, I’ve hesitated to say anything because I’m worried this is a case of “be careful of what you wish for!” But I feel like I need to take another step into being his submissive on perhaps a deeper level than before. We’re at a point where if he makes me lick his ass I’m not going to consider leaving him. If he pisses in my mouth I’m not going to leave him. I don’t like these activities and hope they don’t become frequent, but I feel like if he’s the Dom then he should use me as he likes.

We’ve watched a lot of porn on theupperfloor.com lately and it’s been giving him all sorts of ideas. The forced exercise I found too painful to watch. I hate exercise but can handle it better if I’m doing it by myself and of my own volition. But the scene where the slave was hooded (and therefore couldn’t see) and forced to scrub the floor while the dominant whipped or fingered her – that was damn hot. Just scrubbing a floor isn’t hot to me. But being in some sort of bondage/blindfolding/gagging and being watched over by the man who delivers such delicious torment to me, that would be hot.

The Upper Floor has also made me crave kinky parties where I could serve and be toyed with by the guests freely. Not only toyed with but perhaps also gang-banged.

MasterDoc and I talked briefly about the idea of things like positions the sub needs to learn and use in certain situations. He was never into that, but I’ve been curious about it and now feels like a time to maybe delve into some of that, to maybe have a little more protocol than we currently have? (We’ve never been big on protocol other than calling him Sir and being respectful and obedient.) I’m also wishing for more bondage in my life.

All this is dependent on what MasterDoc wants and thinks is right. I’m merely expressing my willingness and desire to go a little further into submission and service to him. I feel like I need to be pushed a little.

* This meaning that of course I hope my needs will still be met, but I think he should feel more latitude in making me satisfy his needs even if I find an act distasteful.

Piss and Come

Published on November 3, 2010 in anal, bdsm, cunt, D/s, embarrassment, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm on command, piss play, prostate massage, sadism, sex toys, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 3 Comments

I have a new toy to review! Lelo, maker of most of my favorite toys, sent me a Soraya. It’s part of their new Insignia line. It looks like the buttons are less likely to get pushed during critical moments, which has always been my only real complaint about their toys. A formal review will come once I’ve used it more. But the other night I settled down in the playroom at MasterDoc’s with my soraya. I used the vibe on my clit, warmed myself up, applied some lube and used the toy in all sorts of ways. I pressed the nub against my clit while the toy buzzed away inside too. MasterDoc joined me and helped spur me on by talking to me and touching me. I made myself come for a long while, and had to let the toy out to let the squirt out.

I was settling in to help MasterDoc come, when I got a call from my friend Divasub. She was heading over (as I had invited her to do) after coming back from a weekend away. MasterDoc decided that he might as well come out and be social too, and in typical “MasterDoc’s Halfway Home for Wayward Women” fashion, he came out naked. Well she’d seen him naked before. Of course the hard on was perhaps a bit much, but Divasub can take it in stride. The three of us chatted on the sofa. DeeDee wasn’t feeling well so she had gone to bed. During our talk, MasterDoc reached over to stroke my face, grab my hair and gave me the command to come. Fuck. I did come. It was embarrassing despite the fact that I know Divasub is a big pervert too. This was followed by both of them coming up with devious things that could be done to me. (Any suggestions on how I can get back at Divasub for this, let me know. It wasn’t just things I found hot but things I’d hate too – like getting peed on by a bunch of guys after a gang bang. Eww. Some friend!)

Divasub headed home after a bit and MasterDoc was inspired by the conversation to piss on me. He took me into the bathroom and ordered me into the tub. He did the face stroking/hair pulling thing that helps get me in the mood so quickly and told me I could come when I felt his piss hit me. Fuck. I came again, feeling humiliated as his piss ran down my body. I ran out of orgasmic steam before he had finished though, since my orgasm was completely spurred on by thoughts rather than physical stimulation. I got lost in the humiliation sensation which can be hot in and of itself. To drive home his Dominance or play with more humiliation (I’m assuming) he rubbed wet cock on me right after he finished. I showered off.

After my shower I finally got to help him come. I played with his ass while he jerked off – the usual. I felt a chunk of poo in there, and I was glad he agreed to using a toy next. (Poo happens to everyone from time to time.) I slid the Lelo Liv in his lubed up ass and pressed it against his prostate. (They’ve created a new one, the Billy, for ass play – it has a ridge to keep the toy from slipping in which the Liv doesn’t.) As I mentioned before, the vibrator controls got hit and the vibration pattern changed mid-wank. But he decided he likes the different patterns. (I never bother with the patterns. A nice, steady, strong vibration does it for me.)

I had mentioned earlier that I wish he’d come in my mouth more often. He said he’d take it under advisement. When he was ready to come he had me jump around to his front to have him come on my face. (I opened my mouth eagerly but he told me, “No, not in your mouth. On your face.”) He told me to come at the same time, and for the third time that night I came without physical genital stimulation. Some of his come ended up on the throe but some was clinging to my chin. He said I looked cute like that and told me I could clean it off or leave it on as I wished. I used a tissue to clean it off and then cleaned up the toys.

When It Rains, It Pours

Published on October 31, 2010 in attraction, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, dating, exhibitionism, flogging, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive, sybian and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I have to catch up here. I had some fun this week and haven’t posted about it yet!

Tuesday night I had alone with MasterDoc. It was the first time I’d had cock in a while and I was so ready for it. My muscles were tired (legs and arms in particular) from getting back to exercising, so I had to fight muscle fatigue while being fucked. I lay over the Liberator Axis, putting as much of my weight on it as possible. He fucked me hard enough to make me squirt and fucked me til I was exhausted. I collapsed over the axis, so very tired but also so very satisfied.

Luckily I was less tired when MasterDoc and I went to a kink party later in the week. It was one of those fabulous parties held by Sofija‘s former (?) Dom. The “Dom Arms Race” as MasterDoc calls it continues, with MasterDoc providing the sybian, the guy with the fucking machine providing that and another guy providing a spanking machine. Of course MasterDoc decided I would be a guinea pig for it. I stood where the guy told me to and the plexiglass paddle swung out via hydraulics when MasterDoc pushed the button. I have to be honest, it was pretty lame. It barely hurt. MasterDoc tried it a few times, but the consensus was that an actual spanking was far superior.

We had set up the sybian in the back of the party on a mat the host provided for us. MasterDoc did his best to charm the ladies into taking rides, but as usual there’s a lot of hesitancy until someone has demonstrated.

MasterDoc had me lean over a chair with my dress hiked up (it could only go as far as my leather waist cincher). He gave my ass a good going over with hands, crop, cane and flogger. I was delighted that the spanking went on for quite a while – he’s been pushing my limits lately. He’d also play with my cunt every now and then but didn’t bring me to orgasm. I was horny to begin with, and super horny after. My ass was quite sore after the crop, cane, flogger and his hands. He had me suck his cock and he fucked my mouth with it. I could tell he was enjoying having an audience as he so often does. I got into it too and rubbed his cock over my face, peering up at him as he stood over me. I do like me a rough, messy blow job these days.

We wandered the party a bit, and I whispered in his ear how horny I was. He pulled me close for a kiss and I swooned. Since I was so horny, he decided I’d be first to ride the sybian (as I often am). I came in the way that only horsepower can cause. I screamed, repeatedly. It felt amazing! He seemed to try to bury my head in his shoulder a bit to muffle my delighted screams. I could feel the squirt coming out of my cunt a few times and the liquid would roll past my thighs down the curved sides of the sybian. When we finished and I climbed off, I was surprised to not see much come on the mat. A bit later, however, we moved the sybian and there was a huge circle of girl come underneath. (!)

I lay on the mat resting and MasterDoc brought me some soda. “Guess who’s here?” he asked. I shook my head like I had no idea and then he told me Blondie was there. “Oh cool!” With a date. “Oh probably one of the subs she proDommes.” Her date is a woman. “Oh.” I had a momentary twinge of jealousy but then I moved on. It’s not like I don’t know she dates others (as do I!). It was lovely to see her unexpectedly. Her friend was very cool. What could have been awkward worked itself out and was quite pleasant. I watched Blondie tie up a guy, crop him, etc. As she did so she would bend over in the very short dress she was wearing. MasterDoc and I stared at her ass. MasterDoc hit it off with her friend, but of course it turned out she’s a lesbian.

As I waited outside the ladies’ room to wash off the sybian attachment, I ran into Sofija. I wondered if that could get awkward – the woman I’m actively dating and one I’ve had a long flirtation with in the same place. Sofija sexily took hold of the ring on my collar and apologized for being too busy to get together with me. She asked if I forgave her for it. I got a goofy grin on my face and my brain turned to mush. Of course I told her I wasn’t mad at her. She looked smokin’ hot. She’s tall, very curvy, her large boobs always out and available during these parties. She has curvy hips, curvy butt. Curves in all the right places. I took the liberty of playing with her tits a tiny bit. She leaned in and kissed me before moving on to her next flirtation.

After a bit, Sofija showed up by the sybian and had me hold her drink so she could get a ride. MasterDoc had me play with her during the ride and I caressed her thighs, her bountiful tits, her ass. Rowr. Just as she was worn out her (former? the current relationship isn’t clear) Dom made her get on again and come some more.

Blondie’s friend got a horsey ride and Blondie helped. She put a blindfold on her and, secured her arms behind her back. MasterDoc says it’s interesting giving sybian rides to lesbians, as they are very hesitant to lean forward onto him for support. I enjoyed watching the ride although her friend was conspicuously quiet. I don’t know that she came, but she did call the experience awesome.

Blondie and her friend didn’t play together, I’m not sure if that had anything to do with me being there or if they just came to the party as companions. Blondie stated early on that she wanted to beat some male ass pretty hard that night. She got the chance a couple of times. I could see her through the windowed room feeding baby food to the adult baby who comes to these parties. Later, I saw her giving him a firm “bare-hand” (with glove) spanking.

MasterDoc wanted me to try the fucking machine again. It didn’t work properly last time. I was strapped into massage chair set up like a gynecologist’s chair. MasterDoc applied lube and the large dildo was inserted. Mostly the machine hurt. It poked my cervix. I hated it. Of course, not being turned on worked against me. Perhaps if I had been ravenously horny I would have felt differently? I later described the experience as being “less fun than a gynecologist visit.”

As MasterDoc gave another sybian ride or two, I got to chat with Blondie a bit. She asked if I minded her reading this blog and I pointed out that I’m quite used to people reading the blog. Since it’s public and she knows about it, I’d expect that she might read it. I try to be kind to people on here (and have nothing bad to say about her anyway). I have no reason to be a bully. The only person I truly talk badly about here is the asshole who sexually assaulted me.

It was getting late, and I was growing tired. When I said goodbye to Sofija she said she really needs to get together with me as I’m so sexy. Rowr! We shared a lovely kiss goodbye.

MasterDoc and I gave Blondie a ride to the subway. She gave MasterDoc a hug from the backseat as she said goodbye, and gave me a kiss on the lips.

The following day, there was proof of “when it rains, it pours.” Stacina, who I had flirted with months ago and kept getting thwarted in fooling around with her when she came over to MasterDoc’s, joined us for lunch as she’s no longer engaged. I got a nice kiss on the lips hello, but otherwise the afternoon was quite chaste. She had back and pain issues so she wasn’t feeling up to MasterDoc’s seduction. Pity. But it was nice to hang out with her again. Suddenly the women I’ve been interested in have reappeared!