Archive for the 'horny' Category

Knife Play

Published on December 9, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, bondage, cunt, D/s, edge play, forced orgasm, happy, horny, kink, knife play, masochism, restraints, sadism, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

This week I’m on the emotional roller coaster that is my monthly struggle with premenstrual dysphoric disorder. I feel like I’m constantly working to rein in the anxiety and agitation that goes with it. Taking a benzodiazapine helps, and since this is the only time of the month I need any, I can take it without worrying about tolerance or addiction. But even with medication, the mood fluctuations still exist and need management.

When I got to spend some time alone with MasterDoc on Tuesday, I was hoping for lots of cuddles and petting. I needed soothing to deal with the craziness that happens to me biologically at this time. I’m certainly getting better at dealing with it on my own, and this was never more apparent than when our naked time together started with MasterDoc laying with his back to me telling me to play with his ass to help him get off.

Starting off with his orgasm is rare. After all, men usually get one orgasm for the evening (unless they’re still young enough to get it up two or more times). The agitated part of me wanted to whine that I wasn’t getting the attention I needed. But the rational part of my brain said, “Ok, considering all the times he puts your orgasm first, you really need to be agreeable and allow him his release first tonight. (Not to mention the fact that he’s the Dom.) Also, you know he will make sure you are taken care of. It might not be penis-in-vagina sex, but he won’t leave you without orgasm or cuddles by the time the night is through.”

I worked through my whiny feelings and I did manage to enjoy making him feel good. By now I know just how to knead the muscles in his thighs and buttocks to make him twitch with pleasure. I slowly worked my way to his asshole, eventually sliding a finger inside. As I did so, I tugged gently at the entire perimeter of the sphincter muscle that holds it closed, working the muscle so it would relax.

After several minutes, MasterDoc came and I’ve learned by now to keep up the stimulation until he is done coming and indicates that I should slowly work my fingers out of him. I’ve been instructed to keep the pressure towards the front wall, so that any semen in the tubes gets gradually pushed to the tip of his cock and out.

I had made it through a selfish fit without throwing a fit. MasterDoc surveyed the toys I had laid out. (It’s my responsibility to set up the bed for sex. I put down the throe, make sure we have lube, condoms, my collar, my cuffs and any toys I might suggest for the evening.) He had already been concocting a scene, and the blindfold I laid out was definitely part of it.

Once I was in my collar, cuffs and the blindfold, he connected the cuffs around a pole that makes up part of the headboard. My arms were over my head now, and unless I was naughty and tried to uncuff myself, I was unable to use my hands. “I’ll be right back,” he said.

I tried to eroticize being left helpless. I felt excited wondering what would come next. After his return, he took a moment to raise the blindfold and show me what he had ready for play. My heart beat faster when I saw it was one of the knives from my kitchen knife collection. It was a small one, but I knew it could certainly cut me if used the right way. MasterDoc put the blindfold back over my eyes and the anxiety was something else!

You see, I have a bit of a knife phobia. I can handle using one myself, but if someone else is standing near me holding one (like those times when you start to talk with whomever is making dinner and they have a knife in their hand, which sometimes gets waved around expressively because it’s just there in their hand already) I get ridiculously flinchy. I could be five feet away but I’ll get anxious and hypervigilant of the knife’s location.

I knew that knife play, for me, would be very much about playing with my fears. (And, indeed, I had put the request in my wishing box.) I wasn’t as interested in cutting, although that can be part of knife play. Of course, since my brain chemistry was already rioting due to the PMDD, my phobia led me through some moments of pure terror that evening as MasterDoc ran the knife gently over my skin. He’d talk about making an incision on my inner thigh and I probably begged him not to. While the terror I felt was real, it was more like titillation as my subconscious knew I was ultimately safe. Even if MasterDoc did cut me, it would be careful and deliberate. And as a doctor he’d do anything necessary to prevent possible infection or complications.

I like fear play with someone I trust because there’s a certain exhilaration that occurs. I felt a little delirious with fear, but it most likely made my pussy wet. I’ve forgotten how exactly he made me come that night, but I came very hard, squirting a little bit.

In the aftermath, MasterDoc enjoyed showing me that there were in fact TWO knives. The sharp one he showed me, and a regular blunt dinner knife, which he used most often to run over my skin. The mind fuck was a success. My brain was convinced he was only using the sharp one.

I got the cuddles and petting I needed after the scene. And while I would have thought this week would be the worst time for something that intense, it was pretty amazing. I really loved it.

Bad Sex, A Date, Neon Wand, and Bondage

Published on December 4, 2011 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, D/s, dating, dom, electrosex/tens unit, forced orgasm, happy, horny, kink, lesbian, libido, masochism, neon wand, non-monogamy, poly, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

The rest of the week, I had a busy but decent time at work. MasterDoc made me come a lot on Thursday evening just before DeeDee got home. (Actually, the time overlapped a little.) I love when he makes me delirious from pounding me hard and making me come over and over.

Friday night we had something we so rarely have – bad sex. Perhaps bad isn’t the right term for it, but for whatever reason I couldn’t get into it. He was in a rough mood and wanted to cane me, but, quite unusually, I wasn’t in a rough mood. (When this discrepancy in mood occurs it’s usually the other way around.) We played, but I had a hard time getting wet and wasn’t anywhere near coming while he fucked me. It’s such a strange experience the few times this sort of thing has occurred. MasterDoc told me not to worry about it, and for once I managed pretty well to not worry. After all, if someone else was asking my advice on the same topic, I’d tell them not to worry as sometimes things just don’t click sexually. It doesn’t mean anything ominous. We all have “off” nights. Considering how much fantastic sex we have the few times it’s not fantastic are barely remarkable.

I had a girl date the next day with a woman who contacted me on a dating site. She’s poly, identifies as bi but hasn’t done much (if any) dating women yet. We met at a small restaurant in Manhattan (that describes pretty much every restaurant in Manhattan) and had gluhwein – mulled, spiced wine. It was so yummy. I’ve looked up recipes but my lazy ass hasn’t gotten the ingredients together yet. The restaurant was quirky and the food was mostly French or German. I wasn’t sure how the date was going until she brought up my allergy to cats and she mentioned unfortunately she and her husband have two. She said she’d like me to be able to come over to her place sometime though. I grinned broadly. I told her that my level of allergic reaction does vary from cat to cat, and some cause only minimal distress. It wouldn’t hurt to try. The goodbye was my usual hug and air smooch by her cheek. I nearly worked up the chutzpah to kiss her properly just before we parted ways, but it ended up a slightly awkward moment, as I think a moment too late she realized I was trying to go in for an extra goodbye.

I think I need a theme song that will play here on any post where I do the lesbian sheep dance (see paragraph 8 on at the link). Any ideas? I like to think of Joan Jett’s “AC/DC” as my general theme song.

I enjoyed Saturday night with MasterDoc. I’m happy to report the sex was totally different than the night before. We tried the neon wand again, since it seemed pretty weak the first time. I say it’s no substitute for a violet wand really, but it can hurt, so as a toy in its own right I liked it. Not to mention it’s far cheaper than a violet wand. (This makes me think of MasterDoc’s pointing out that there’s a “Dom arms race” on – it seems like dominant men keep acquiring more and more impressive, expensive toys to try to outdo the others. His big purchase was the sybian.

I wore my wrist cuffs which we’ve been doing more of lately. I was over the moon when he decided to cuff my hands above my head, attached to the bed frame. This sort of thing turns me on so much! I have been trying to get him to do things like this for a while. (Maybe next will be a little physical struggle or pushing me up against a wall?) His bed is a large silver frame that looks like so many pipes joined together. It’s ideal for bondage. I’ve tried to get MasterDoc to try this for a long time, but he’s usually not fond of bondage because he wants me to be able to do all sorts of things to him.

We worked around it though. He tormented me with the neon wand for a while, threatening to put it inside my cunt. This panicked me slightly – it was a great mind fuck. I begged him, “Please, please Sir, don’t do that! Please!” I’m sure my wiggling and begging were a delight to him. He pointed out that it’s when the wand is slightly away from flesh that it sparks, and being in constant contact like it would be inside me it probably wouldn’t hurt at all.

He surveyed my position and wondered aloud if he could hold himself in position over my head long enough to get his ass licked. He decided he wouldn’t be able to hold it long enough to make it worthwhile. I’m glad he moved on to a plan b and came over to stick his cock in my mouth. He also lifted up his balls so I could lick them, and he seemed to enjoy even just resting his balls on my face while he stroked his cock.

He fucked me, and it was so hot to know I couldn’t get away. I realized that’s sorta silly since I wouldn’t try to get away anyway! But the helplessness is hot. He fucked me and it was like extra stimulation to have my wrists bound. I came like crazy. Since my arms weren’t free I couldn’t use them to hold my legs up. I worked muscles I don’t usually to keep them up. He made me come repeatedly and I held my legs up without support for much longer than I thought I would be able to do. I had a goofy grin on my face after.

Come Again?

Published on November 20, 2011 in bdsm, cunt, D/s, flogging, forced orgasm, happy, horny, kink, libido, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, restraints, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive, trust and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Posting has been thin because I’ve been sick. I didn’t have the energy for orgasms, or writing this week. I wanted to though!

But Saturday I got some alone time with MasterDoc and I’m finally feeling much better. He put my cuffs on my wrists. The collar stayed off until we got to the bedroom. We put on some kinky porn (a full length Device Bondage clip on pornhub – I selected it). It was pretty damn hot. I got up for a moment to get something and complained that I didn’t want to miss any. MasterDoc paused the clip, went into the playroom and came back with his small flogger.

“Want to know what you missed? This is what you missed,” and he started flogging my tits. It made me giggle until the left nipple got a particularly sharp crack that made me wince. We smiled and got back to the porn.

Soon we realized that moving to the bedroom was overdue. We moved his laptop so we could continue the porn. I love how her helplessness in bondage is brought up by the Dom. If that was me I’d be so on the edge of coming if it was pointed out that I was secured. I still remember playing around with bondage with my first boyfriend. (Oh gawd, that was just over 20 years ago. I feel old.) He tied me to his bed with his school ties (Catholic school boys are freaks). I would come even harder whenever I pulled at the bonds and felt held down.

Yes, I’ve been kinky as long as I can remember. That was just the first time I got to do those things with another person.

There was no bondage for me today, but MasterDoc did have me sit on the bed with my hands behind my head while he flogged my tits, thighs, tummy and pussy. Someone recently expressed concern (not to me directly) that I’m some abused, broken woman after reading this blog. As he flogged me and I thought about how much I enjoyed it, I shook my head (internally, not literally) and wondered how our fun and games could be so misconstrued.

MasterDoc decided we should take a break to cuddle while we watched the porn. I played with my clit and I could tell he was stroking his cock behind me. Unexpectedly, he told me to come. Holy shit. I hadn’t been anywhere close to orgasm but I came within seconds. He gently but firmly grabbed my hair as I squirted a load of hot girl come on the throe. I was surprised by how much I squirted. Squirting seems really sporadic for me recently, but I certainly needed rehydration after this afternoon.

Huzzah!

He wanted to fuck me, and watch the porn, so we set up the bed. I was on my knees and could not wait for him to put his penis inside me. While I kinda wanted to watch the porn, I totally forgot about it when he started fucking me hard. He’d slap my ass a bit and then plow into me with his cock. I wanted to come so badly, but I waited until he gave permission.

Once he did there was no stopping me. The woman in the porn was on a sybian, and I marveled at how, like that machine, MasterDoc can make me just come and come and come. Seriously. I can only imagine the fun we would have had had we met earlier, although I’m not sure I could have handled him at a much younger age than when I met him. I bit the throe for a while and tried to bury my ecstatic screams in the mattress. While the coming would ebb for a bit, he’d slap my ass and plow into me some more, and I would be delirious with orgasm once again.

I have no idea how long he made me come. Wonderfully long. As I collapsed next to him, I said, deadpan, “I’m so abused.” This was good for a chuckle. Why do I find it so funny? Because an abused woman isn’t being given lots of orgasms, followed by lots of cuddles. She doesn’t find her self-esteem growing as her relationship grows deeper with her man. I have to laugh at the absurdity of it or I’d be pretty pissed off by the assumption that I’m only with MasterDoc because… well I don’t even know why. He’s beaten me down? Er, no. He keeps me on tight leash? Hardly. (Although that might be hot now and then. *wink*) I’m dependent on him? Nope, I’m not. Only dependent in the sense that I turn to my chosen family for comfort, support and companionship. I depend on them for that.

I thought that was probably all, especially since MasterDoc has started feeling under the weather himself today. But the porn kept running and I soon buried my fingers in my pussy. He returned to the room after a few moments away to find me masturbating. We chatted a little, and I reached for the Hitachi. With his assistance, I came even harder than before. I think you can tell the depth of the orgasmic feeling by my voice during it – it was higher pitched for the orgasms during sex, but got really guttural when I came from the wand and his hand. As I started to come he pushed the head of the wand against me. Fuuuuck. He slipped fingers inside my cunt, and also touched various spots on my pelvis and thighs that send me reeling.

I squirted some more. And lay spent. I gave him a fuzzy smile.

Surely we were finished.

I can’t recall how it came about, but the man made me come again. I’m just such a poor unfortunate soul aren’t I?

Hell no, I’m a very sexually satisfied woman.

Cuddles and caressing his the “spot” on his chest topped off a very pleasurable afternoon. (I’ve discussed the spot before. This patch of hair in the center of his chest that is just so wonderful to pet.)

Pushing Limits, Part I

Published on September 25, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, DeeDee, dom, edge play, embarrassment, forced orgasm, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, spanking, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

As you know, I’ve been finding it hard to find time to write. And if it’s not time I’m looking for, it’s motivation. I find that this week in particular has been busy with work (and work-related stress), chores around the house, and assorted other bits and pieces. To top it all off, I have to work today, Sunday, for a few hours. It feels like a sub’s and a librarian’s work is never done.

This is partially (but only partially!) down to perception. I have had some stellar time alone with MasterDoc this week. But I find when I truly have downtime, that I just want to do mindless stuff like watch a show, or play The Sims. Writing seems beyond my energy level.

But before I head off to work today, I vowed to try to get at least one blog entry written. So here we go.

Yesterday, I was really craving kink. It was funny because MasterDoc was in a totally cuddly mood. I think other than caning and such, he doesn’t necessarily push my limits as often lately. He managed to get himself into the mood talking dirty to me. And I got to experience some kink that really did push my limits.

He started talking about humiliating things he could do to me. And just the idea of most of it pushed my limits. I hoped that some of these ideas would only amount to talking, but it seems he wanted to give me what I wanted – kink.

He took me into the bathroom to piss on me. I find that piss play is something I truly hate doing, but I kinda like him being dominant and making me do it. I hesitated on taking my vibe along, because I wasn’t feeling horny at the idea of his piss. He pointed out that it was up to me, but why not get an orgasm out of it? I relented and grabbed it on the way out the bedroom door.

He had me kneel in the tub. He grabbed the closest breast and started slapping his cock against it. “See, if I slap it hard enough it keeps my cock from getting aroused.” A frequent (male) piss Dom problem is getting aroused by the idea and then being unable to pee thanks to the hard on. (I always hope for a hard on.)

“Get that other tit over here.” He said and I turned towards him. He continued to play with my tits, call me his piss whore and tell me I could come when I felt his piss. I ran the vibe over my clit, not sure if I could get aroused enough to come. But then the whole thing is arousing despite being totally repulsive at the same time. I suppose it’s a part of submission/masochism that is difficult to understand. “I don’t want to do that thing, but I want you to make me, because your making me is hot.”

So he pissed on my tits, and I came. I buried my face in his tummy as best I could. I feel embarrassed to be coming at that point. It always feels like he has the bottomless bladder. When he pees on me, it feels like it goes on for several minutes. Towards the end, I couldn’t come anymore so I turned my head towards the wall in humiliation, because now I was just experiencing him peeing on me without the distraction of an orgasm.

He was in a merry mood after, and went to wash his hands. I couldn’t wait to get the piss soaked vibrator put down and the tub water running to clean myself off. I learned the hard way one time that you need to do more than rinse, you need to use soap and scrub slightly. And you need to remember that your hands have been pissed all over. One time, I rinsed my body well but forgot my hands and had to smell his pee all evening. Yuck. This time, I scrubbed and rinsed carefully.

I think one of the downsides to piss play is that the aftercare happens after a lapse. I’m left alone to rinse off, and getting wet inevitably means I feel a chill after. (Especially when I walk in the bedroom and he has turned up the air conditioning.) I think I’m still processing the experience whereas he’s been distracted by other things while waiting for me. I need a warm blanket and some adoring cuddles after piss play. While he can humiliate me as my Dom, I need reassurance after that he loves me even if I’m his filthy piss slut.

After a little recovery under a sheet to keep warm, he moved on to phase two. I had so hoped he wasn’t serious about phase two.

He gave me the kneepads. He told me to put them on and get the leash. Lately he not only has me wear my collar, but also wrist cuffs during play. I like it, but I find it much easier to be little miss subby when it’s just him around. (Or I can usually deal with him making me crawl into DeeDee to say hello.) The catch of this bit of impending puppy play? DeeDee and her other serious boyfriend were in the living room watching tv. MasterDoc instructed me to crawl into the living room, bounce around like a playful puppy, bark and pant. My brain could NOT get my head around doing something so embarrassing in front of DeeDee’s other boyfriend.

Now, you need to know that her other boyfriend is kinky too, so none of this would make either DeeDee or her boyfriend freak out. I was the only one freaking out. I crawled as far as the curtain that hangs over the entrance of the living room to keep air conditioning in. I could not make myself go any farther. I stayed hidden behind the curtain. I told MasterDoc it would be easier if he went with me, but he wanted me to go alone. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

In doggy fashion, I turned to him and whimpered and whined like any dog would when faced with something they really didn’t want to do. This didn’t produce pity unfortunately. He got the riding crop and smacked my ass until I crawled in. I hung my head down nearly the entire time. I could get through the embarrassment if I didn’t have to look at the people in the living room. He told me to lift my head and pant, and I simultaneously closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see. Ultimately, the embarrassment happened. But MasterDoc said I got a C- for that performance and he was a little annoyed with his misbehaving little bitch. Meanwhile DeeDee and her gentleman said, “Awww.” when the puppy came in. They thought it was cute.

He led me by leash back to the bedroom. I crawled until I was in the room. It’s funny, but I can’t recall the less stressful bits right now. I know I asked for aftercare. He hadn’t thought that scene would need aftercare, but I pointed out that it was a very intense scene for me. I got some cuddles.

End of Part I

Catching Up (But Not with Depeche Mode)

Published on September 18, 2011 in attraction, caning, dating, depression, happy, horny, kink, musings, poly, sex, slut and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

(Bonus music geek points if you get the reference in the title.)

MasterDoc and I had some wonderful scenes before he went away to Dark Odyssey Summer Camp with DeeDee for the weekend. I’m the lazy person who didn’t take notes right after. He caned me, because I was in the midst of premenstrual dysphoric disorder week. It is amazing how much better I feel after a good hard caning! I felt great, until the next morning when the endorphins wore off and my biochemical issues reared their ugly head again. Still, some relief is better than no relief. Truly. I wish I remembered more details, because at the time I thought how awesome the sex was. I don’t mean to brag, I’m just very lucky.

An old flame from a couple of years back has reappeared – Shane. Back in 2009, I enjoyed dating him for a few months. He was kind enough to drive all the way back to my area (after just having driven home from seeing me) when I had such bad stomach pain that I needed to go to the emergency department. That night was when I was finally diagnosed with gallstones and a few weeks after I had surgery to remove my gallbladder. (I’ve been happier and pain-free since.) But despite our not dating for long, he came, met me there and sat with me for a few hours into the wee hours of the morning. He kept me company while I vomited and wished the injection of morphine would take effect. In other words, he showed himself to be a very nice guy. He drove me home when I was released and headed home himself (for the second time!) to get some sleep.

A month or two later, our contact became sporadic, and during one IM conversation he told me he had had a car accident and hurt his back. Yikes. He pretty much disappeared after that. I didn’t feel any ill will, I just figured it was one of those things that petered out on its own. Several weeks ago, I was surprised to get a message from him on facebook. He wanted to reconnect, find out how I’m doing, etc. He didn’t assume we’d just start dating or fucking again. But we made plans to hang out, because as I said, I had liked the guy and felt no ill will when he drifted away. Turns out he was busy dealing with all sort of stressful stuff – his business being chief among them. He didn’t have time for relationships.

So with a lag of 2 years in between, I seem to be seeing him again. We hung out last night. He hadn’t assumed we’d fuck but I sure did. *grin* It was awesome. I still like spending time with him every bit as much as I did before. He should have a bit more free time now since his business is doing well, so he promises not to be a stranger for two years again. He has one of my favorite combinations – a nice, respectful guy who is kinky and dominant. Does a subby (hetero or bi) woman need much else? We’re close in age so we share some pop culture references that MasterDoc doesn’t necessarily have. My age difference with MasterDoc doesn’t have much impact on my love or how much I enjoy being with him. But now and then I want to wax poetic about some 80′s band and he’s not the one to do it with.

It’s funny, because while I’ve gotten lots of messages from guys who seem interesting on the usual dating site I inhabit, I’ve been feeling more introverted, as well as just tired of meeting new people. Shane showed up at a perfect time when spending time with a known quantity is more appealing for me than the stress of getting to know someone from scratch.

I can hear MasterDoc now, saying “Phooey” when he finds that while I’ve blogged it’s mostly about another guy. It’s just that there’s only so many ways I can call him wonderful, sexy, domly, etc. I can only gush about loving him, loving being his submissive (most of the time), and the hot sex so many times.

Delightfully NastyDoc

Published on September 8, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, dom, edge play, forced orgasm, horny, kink, masochism, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

After a rough week and a half or so, it was wonderful to have some bdsm play with MasterDoc. It feels like it’s been a while since we’ve done a variety of bdsm play, although that’s not entirely true. Perhaps this was just the right kind of play on the right night for me.

MasterDoc spent some time planning the night’s activities, something that’s not one of his Domly strengths. He looked through my wishing box for ideas (I haven’t looked through it and updated it in a while though). He went off to the bedroom while I played a game on my phone in the living room. I was wearing a new chemise I bought from Frederick’s of Hollywood (I’ve always preferred them to Victoria’s Secret. I have always been able to find stuff that FITS ME at Frederick’s.) When MasterDoc came out, he pulled one of my breasts from the bra top and applied the suction cup to my nipple. The small one fell off, so he used a larger one, and that painfully adhered to my nipple. I had to breathe through the pain, but after a while it did subside enough that I could deal with it, although the pain never completely went away. He put cuffs on my wrists (he’s grown fond of the look recently) and gave me my collar to put on.

He left me there, and a little later came back out to take the suction cup off and put a clothespin on that same nipple. He followed that with a clothespin on the other nipple. He commented on how hot it looked for my breasts to be both out and over the bra cups and have a clothespin clasped on to each nipple. I moved gingerly so I wouldn’t disturb the clothespins. He left them on for longer than usual, but the nipple play got me hot. His next move was to have me kneel on the sofa so he could insert my Njoy butt plug. I had to sit plugged and clipped while MasterDoc watched part of the republican debate. (He’s a Ron Paul fan.) I felt like this was some serious edgeplay, having to watch the republicans bullshit their way through a debate. (Hey, the democrats bullshit too. I’m sick of politicians. But the democrats don’t scare me as much as Michele Bachmann or Rick Perry, for example.) MasterDoc removed the clothespins sometime during this period, but I felt like I still had them attached to me for quite some time afterward. The pain of the blood rushing in upon removal was intense. He had me wiggle every now and then to make sure I felt the plug.

Thankfully, after Ron Paul spoke a bit, we moved into the bedroom. I sucked his cock until it was hard. I loved when he grabbed me by the hair to pull my head up to his. He made me come by slapping my face repeatedly and telling me to come. My jaw still felt a little sore as I took notes for this entry later that evening. This was followed with more cock sucking.

It was time to fuck. He wanted to do it with the butt plug still in me, but I asked to take butt plug out because I thought having something that rigid in my ass as he penetrated my pussy would hurt. As he would say, he’s “such a softie” (yeah, uh huh). He took the time to spank my ass hard as he removed the butt plug. I got on hands and knees and he fucked me silly. Sometimes I rocked forward and back to help along his thrusting. I kept coming over and over – lost mostly in subspace reverie. When I stop breathing enough, my body backs off on the orgasms a little until I’ve gotten some air in. But the continued stimulation pushes me back into orgasm in seconds flat. He interspersed hard spanks with the thrusting of his cock. When he eventually pulled out, he slapped my pussy as I squirted all over my throe. I collapsed exhausted afterward, having come countless times.

I had been in need of him abusing me a bit. I think perhaps with all the stress I’ve been under he hasn’t pushed my limits in a while. It was great to get back to that last night.

Am I a Cougar in Training?

Published on August 14, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, dating, horny, masturbation, non-monogamy, prostate massage, sex, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I met someone new on Friday. We enjoyed lunch and then went back to my place. He’s someone who doesn’t have time for a relationship, but of course would like some sex and companionship now and then. This is ideal for me as I’m not looking for another serious relationship. Lunch with him was pleasant, and we know a few people in common. He gave me a ride on his scooter back to my place, and it was the first time I ever rode a scooter (haven’t been on a motorcycle yet). In my usual ladylike manner (har) I threw my leg over the back of the scooter despite wearing a dress. Thankfully I had worn a stretchy casual dress.

I clenched my thighs around his hips as we got started. He took things slow since it was my first time. It was fun and yes, I did wear a helmet. At the stop light, he reached down to caress my bare leg. Rowr. Some small part of me was still thinking, “Am I going to fuck him today or just make out or something?” But my subconscious knew I’d go all the way.

This guy is 10 years younger than me, and I’ve been questioning if this makes me a cougar. I think not since he wrote to me and I’m not exactly out trying to find younger men. He seemed to know what he was doing sexually, unlike too many men in their 20s. We got to my apartment, kissed and he suggested we get more comfortable. When I caught a glimpse of him in just his boxers, with a hard-on raging, I was delighted to see it was a substantial size. I don’t consider myself a size queen, but a little larger than average is always a bonus.

Since I didn’t think to put the air conditioning on until part-way through, it was hot, sweaty sex. I usually hate sweating for any reason, but it was sexy how our bodies slipped easily against each other. He had difficulty in that he’s similarly endowed as MasterDoc, and I mainly had the NYC condoms on hand – they run a bit small. (What’s up with that, NYC??) He didn’t try to get out of wearing them, he just pointed out that coming was going to be difficult with the condom so tight. I said that I’m sure we could figure out a way to make him come. I sucked his cock deep which he loved but it didn’t lead to orgasm.

While fucking younger men makes me worry they’ll be clueless sexually, this guy paired youthful energy with some expertise. As he pounded me into the bed he made me come over and over. I had to speak up a few times as my cervix can get cranky being pummeled like that. He could flip me over without ever taking his cock out. I ended up on top where I could control the depth more. I squirted a bit and he loved to hear that I did. It turns him on a great deal. That early on, however, it was difficult to tell the little bit of girl come from the copious amounts of sweat.

We went on playing without much of a break for much longer than most sexual encounters I have. (He accosted me in the kitchen as I tried to get a drink of water. Ha ha.) Again, I said a silent word of thanks to the weight loss and exercise. In the past I would have had to cry uncle. He asked if I like anal, and I said yes. I lubed my ass up and yet again this slut had anal on a first date.

Yeah well, you know my philosophy – if it feels good and I want to do it, why should I not? This is an area in which being an atheist is so liberating. I don’t have some fictional god telling me sex is wrong, or clergymen claiming to know how we should all live our lives. If it’s consensual and both parties want it? I can’t see why not to do it. The fucking went on a long time and I came countless times. I was glad that he knew he could go pussy to ass with the same condom, but needed a new condom to go back to the pussy. Sexual knowledge is sexy.

After much rolling around and rubbing body parts against each other (including more girl come as lubricant), I mentioned that I know how to do prostate massage. He was up for it and I lubed up his ass and slowly worked a finger in. Eventually, I took the time to work a second finger in. He writhed around and said it was too intense at times. He said it was the best prostate massage he’s ever had – the others didn’t know what they were doing. (I told him to thank MasterDoc.)

While the massage felt good, the intensity made him need a break, and he ended up jerking off while hovering over and intently examining my pussy. He complimented me on it, and while the skeptic in me thinks, “He must say that to all the girls!” it was still nice to hear. I didn’t hesitate to compliment his cock that day too. He came on my tummy and I felt glad that both of us had come. We each showered off the sweat and come we were pretty much covered in. He took his time getting dressed and soon after we said goodbye. I then proceeded to work on packing up my apartment for my upcoming move.

I was exhausted that night. I had worked out hard in the morning, and then there was that pleasurable second workout in the afternoon. I tried to cuddle with MasterDoc a bit, as I wanted to reconnect with him after having had recreational sex with someone else. On Saturday night, I hoped that he and I would get it on (we haven’t since Tuesday) but he was feeling like having time alone. I felt emotionally needy and luckily managed to strike a balance between asking for and getting attention, and giving him space to be by himself. We cuddled, and MasterDoc picked up on the fact that a beating would do me good. He whacked away at my ass with various implements. Sometimes I think there’s no way I can handle the pain, but then as soon as the beating stops the pain lowers to a manageable level. He made me come with the Hitachi magic wand and after I felt so much better. I had really needed the beating for the endorphin release, and the orgasm to round out the relaxation. I was able to go amuse myself after that and give MasterDoc more time alone. (My current addiction is figuring out how Sims Medieval is played.)

Happy Sub

Published on August 3, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, caning, D/s, dom, forced orgasm, happy, horny, kink, masochism, neurosis, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex parties, spanking, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

So I must take a moment here to say that the rest of the weekend was better than the night of my last post. On Saturday, MasterDoc and I went on an outing to Rye Playland (an amusement park in existence since 1927) hosted by another kinkster. It was fun but I have too many back issues to make riding most rides fun or smart. I rode a few. Mostly I used it as an excuse to eat junk food. I hadn’t had cotton candy in ages, and I split a cup of Carvel ice cream with MasterDoc. (We split a wrap for lunch too.) While, granted, I indulged in not one but TWO junk foods, I was pleasantly surprised when I worked out the calorie content of the day.

I had to nap when we got home since we had been out late the previous night (when I had my meltdown). When I got up, I asked MasterDoc if we were going to the party we were invited to for that night. He decided that we would skip the party. I’m sure he didn’t want to risk a repeat of the night before, however this other party usually has guests older than I am so I don’t have young, hot things to feel intimidated by. I’m feeling better about my body, but the day after I was still fragile.

I was perfectly happy to spend the night in with MasterDoc, however. We ran into an issue that sometimes comes up – we plan to have sex but get distracted. And I have some weird issue (I’ve lost count which one this is. If I could get paid by the neurosis, I’d be set for life.) about not initiating because I don’t want to “bother” him. He’s already told me that it’s silly and he would always welcome a cuddle, at minimum. Even if I don’t get sex, I love cuddles with him and it would be worth it to speak up. I need a minimum of cuddles. While I hate going for a long time without sex with him, I’d have a much harder time without cuddles.

Kinky freaks need cuddles too!

After sorting out my issue, he bathed and I set up the bedroom. In the time I had alone I suddenly realized that if he’s my Dom, then his opinion (about my body/looks) is the only one that should matter. He was thrilled to hear me say it.

The sex from that night is a blur – hot, orgasmic, intimate. He made me come until I was exhausted. The man just keeps getting better and better.

The following night, we dressed up to the nines for a 60′s themed party. We got to the club, rang the buzzer and right then MasterDoc realized the party is next week. *facepalm* He was disappointed, but I just looked at it as an opportunity for more sex at home – which again, was hot. I’ve been getting so much sex with DeeDee away. I miss her but I’m enjoying all the MasterDoc attention while it lasts.

When I headed home from work on Tuesday, I got hopeful for even more sex. When I told MasterDoc this, he casually mentioned that he had treated himself to a little playtime with someone earlier that day – but he had planned on giving me the long overdue beating I needed. It’s cute how he never named who came over, and since he’s the Dom he can do as he chooses. I trust that he always uses condoms. My brain is curious, but I’ve let him have his little secret without trying to pry it out of him. (I don’t know that prying would be successful with him anyway.)

He had me suck his cock while he planned out the scene. I love getting his cock hard. It starts out all flaccid but before long it’s perfectly rigid. I love playing with different licks, sucks and movements to see when I can get an involuntary twitch of pleasure out of him.

Using a cane, paint stirrer and riding crop, he beat my ass something fierce. I think his technique is getting even better – this time he seemed to do a lot of lighter tapping followed by the hard strikes. He said my ass was a lovely shade of red by the end. Too bad I don’t seem to have marks for reminders the next day though. He followed up the beating with fucking me while I was still on hands and knees. (I love my Liberator Axis. I don’t know what I’d do without that to rest on so comfortably. Way better than a pillow because it’s firm.) He made me come until my brain was on another planet. I lay in place over the axis for a moment after he finished, unable to move. I eventually managed to push it to the side and collapse on the bed.

Post-coital cuddles were lovely. I positively glowed with how happy I was. Since I can be so negative when I get depressed, I’m on a mission lately to voice when I’m overjoyed with him. I think MasterDoc is awesome. Around this time four years ago we met and I’m so happy I gave this older guy a chance. He’s been the best lover I’ve ever had, an intelligent mentor I can always ask for advice, and a loving but firm Dom.

Not to mention we can be silly together and laugh so much.

Chemistry

Published on June 19, 2011 in attraction, blow jobs, cunnilingus, dating, horny, masturbation, non-monogamy, sex, slut, spanking, the writer and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

I had a very busy week, and some nights I was too busy doing non-kinky things to write about the hot nights I had with MasterDoc. I’ve found that my infrequent writing here is not only down to feeling burnt out, but also due to such limited time. Finding time to be alone and work on a post has been getting hard to do. And besides, if I didn’t go live life this wouldn’t be a very good blog, now would it?

Because I didn’t at least take time to make notes, I find I can’t remember details of the sex I had days ago with MasterDoc. This sucks. Not only because I like to chronicle my time with him here, but also he tends to feel a bit hurt if I manage to write about someone else but not my sex with him. After nearly four years together, however, even the most exciting kinky sex life can get a little routine. Even though routine for us is still way better sex than most people have. He turns me on immensely and I have mind-blowing orgasms as he wrings them out of me for as long as he can possibly make me come – but writing about it, finding the words to describe it, has become a bit routine. The sex is still exciting.

But, gentle reader (that’s oh so Miss Manners of me), I’m sure that while you still want the pervy details of my sex life with MasterDoc (and I will continue to write about it) it can also be exciting to hear I’ve had an excellent time naked with someone new.

I had an excellent time naked with someone new.

The back story: this guy wrote to me on the usual dating site and we got into talking about music we like in common. I liked that he was interesting and not trying to just plan having sex with me. We had a date a week ago – a normal date. We met at a bar, had a few drinks and talked for a few hours. Then we made out in the corner of the bar for a bit. I knew then that I wanted to fuck him.

I like him – not just sexually but also we have a lot in common and he’s smart and interesting to talk to, laugh with, etc. He’s a journalist, out of work like so many people are nowadays. I remember when the idea of dating a guy without a job would give me pause, now at least two out of the three guys I had dates with over the past couple of months have been unemployed. With such rampant unemployment, not having a job is no longer necessarily an indicator that someone is a slacker.

So we exchanged emails during the week and I found myself getting really horny thinking about having sex with him. I think waiting until the second date actually made things better. No, really. He and I happen to have great sexual chemistry and the anticipation drove me wild.

MasterDoc and DeeDee were away for the weekend, and as usual I tried to keep myself busy as too much time alone tends to make me depressed. I invited this guy over (I need a pseudonym for him. Maybe he’ll give me one.), told him he was welcome to crash since we’re at nearly opposite ends of New York City. Now from this it should be clear that I had every intention of fucking him. But the night moved slowly and I’m not used to that. I kept thinking that I just wanted him to FUCK ME. I enjoyed hanging out, talking, watching some stuff on netflix, and making out off and on. It was lots of fun. But waiting just made me feel more desperate to get laid. This is interesting. I don’t get that way with everyone.

Eventually we ended up in the bedroom, clothes were taken off and strewn upon the floor. We made out, rubbed up against each other and groped heavily. I was so horny and so turned on that my first orgasm with this guy was from him grabbing me me roughly. I’m sure that MasterDoc’s training me to be super sensitive sexually helped that happen, but I was surprised that it even could happen with a guy other than MasterDoc.

I wanted his cock inside me so badly. The slowness of the date drove me crazy. I eventually broke down and told him straight up that I wanted to fuck. He’s not kinky, he’s not a Dom, but he does like his sex rough. And rough sex is just awesome. It’s a very different dynamic than the one I have with MasterDoc. (It felt strange to be called beautiful rather than a piece of fuckmeat. lol) But we did have unusually good sexual chemistry. And despite not being particularly kinky, he reached one hand around me and spanked me a bit (pretty mildly at first but he kept going) and I came from the spanking.

He went down on me – and I always take it to be a good sign when a guy goes down on me first – those guys are pretty much always good lovers. When I blow a guy first then it’s hit or miss if he’s any good. I’m not sure how many times I came before he fucked me. When he finally fucked me (I had been waiting for it all night!) he made me come hard. I wanted it to go on a while but unlike MasterDoc it’s not extremely difficult to get this man to come. (Oh he wasn’t a minuteman certainly. But this guy can come while fucking with a condom on. MasterDoc generally can’t.) This is awesome in its own way, but different from what I’ve gotten used to. I kept making sure that the throe was under me so I wouldn’t potentially soak the bed. We cuddled a bit, thankfully he’s a cuddler too. We soon ended up grabbing at each other, I sucked his cock and demonstrated my fantastic sexual skills (partly due to talent, partly due to a terrific Dom who trained me well). I asked him to fuck me; he told me to beg. Oh hell yes I begged. Again, a wonderful fuck. He has a nice cock.

We took a break and watched more netflix in the living room. He’s about 4 years older than me so we’re of the same generation – we have a lot of the same pop culture references. We sounded like old people when we talked about how back in the day we grew up without internet.

He asked if I wanted to put something else on tv. I suggested we could just go back to bed. It did not take any arm twisting to get him there. Fooling around with him was intense. I wanted to fuck again, but having come twice in one night it’s not surprising that his cock wouldn’t totally cooperate. (It got hard, it just didn’t stay hard when we went to fuck.) I’m not one to have a thing about this, after all my body doesn’t always cooperate sexually either. We got each other off in other ways and were quite tired by the end.

He slept next to me, and it felt comfortable. I had a hard time getting back to sleep completely when in the early hours of the morning he got more cuddly. I love cuddles when I’m awake, but I generally prefer to sleep in my own space. His hands felt nice so I didn’t say anything. A few hours later we got up for good.

I started the coffee and we fooled around more while it brewed. We hung out and I started mapping out my plans to meet up with Blondie that afternoon. After talking and him showing me stuff on youtube that is amazingly bad, he asked if we could go play around again. He didn’t have to twist my arm. We both managed to come again by the end.

Since I was headed closer to his neighborhood on my way to meet Blondie, he rode with me in the car and I dropped him at a subway station. Once I figure out my schedule for this week it’s time to plan another rendezvous with him. I hope we can keep up having a great time hanging out, followed by fucking. I’m a simple girl, those are the things I want to do most.

Edited to add: I’ve decided to dub this guy “the writer.”

Setting the Weekend Afire

Published on June 8, 2011 in bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, cunt, D/s, edge play, exhibitionism, fire cupping, fire play, forced orgasm, gags, horny, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, photos, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

This week has been a little slow sex-wise, but last weekend was pretty hot! I spent Friday afternoon with MasterDoc and Saturday afternoon with Blondie.

I have expressed to him that foreplay doesn’t have to be physical sexual stuff – I can get really hot from him grabbing me by the hair and talking dirty to me, calling me a piece of meat, telling me he owns me. He tends to be a bit lazy, so letting him know that my foreplay needn’t take a lot of physical effort has been a good thing.

We fucked a few times and the under-the-bed restraints we put on the bed never got used. I wasn’t disappointed though. I got well fucked. He had me start massaging his inner thighs after a couple of rounds of sex. I was going to help him come when he decided to have me get on top to ride him. Another fuck! Huzzah!

He said he was thirsty and I joked that he could slurp up the puddle of come I left on the throe. This backfired as he decided to put MY face there. I hesitated, but he kept telling me to get over there. He pushed my head down a little and called me a good puppy. Most of the moisture had been absorbed or evaporated by that time, but my face ended up in a delightfully musky patch of the throe. I found it totally erotic for him to make me do this essentially against my will. To an outsider it might have seemed like I didn’t want it, didn’t like it, but then while grabbing my hair as my face pressed against the damp spot he told me I could come. Fuck. I came right away. My body always gives away when I’m finding something freaky arousing. Usually it’s little involuntary twitches. Sometimes it’s orgasm on command.

On Saturday I went to an all women bdsm party with Blondie. There were just 8 guests ultimately, but it proved to be a nice size. We met in the well-appointed loft of a professional dominatrix. This isn’t her residence but where she works. She has a large collection of expensive, nice bdsm toys. Body bags, a cage, many floggers, a suspension rig.

The party started with kink ice breakers – the hostess had asked us all to put questions in a jar relating to bdsm. As a group (of only 5 at this time) we discussed kink, thoughts on it, our experiences, and interests. Fire play was mentioned and I have been wanting to try it. What luck! Blondie brought her gear for it. I also wanted to receive some rope bondage as it’s something I have little experience with. (MasterDoc is admittedly rope challenged, but Blondie has gone to workshops presented by the likes of Midori.)

Blondie had me lay down on the padded top of the cage – it had eye bolts on top the you could attach cuffs to. We borrowed cuffs from the dominatrix and Blondie secured me to the top of the cage. She started with some fire cupping, which I’ve experienced both as a treatment in acupuncture and as play. She moved on to leaving the torches lit and tapping them on my body. She would also draw lines (and squiggles) in rubbing alcohol on my skin and let it catch fire and burn out. Mostly it burned out quickly – as alcohol tends to do. This felt neat but the bits where it kept burning just a little too long hurt like a motherfucker and I’d cry out. (She’d then snuff the spot that kept burning.) I ended up with a very superficial burn on my stomach that cleared up in a couple of days. My stomach area was more sensitive than others. I particularly enjoyed watching fire go up my arm on a streak of alcohol. She undid my wrist cuffs and let me sit up so I could see the fire play in the mirror. This came in handy as she was going over my upper torso and I could look straight ahead to see the flames instead of down into them.

That was fun, but Blondie had more ideas. Next she put a rope harness on me and then tied me to a chair with my hands cuffed behind. She tormented me – especially my poor nipples and inner thighs. I still have some bruising on my thighs. She placed a couple of raspberries in my mouth saying, “You’re allowed to taste all you want, but you can’t bite or swallow. I want to see those raspberries when I ask for them.” I never realized just how much saliva breaks things down. I helplessly sat there as the raspberries dissolved in my mouth.

I should take a moment to describe Blondie that afternoon – she was in heels, lacy panties, a waist cincher and a sexy open bra that had fringe running over the tops of her breasts. She looked fantastic. Her legs and ass in particular are just perfect.

While I sat there, I had some time to watch one of the women being laced up into a body bag. There was a lot of humor and teasing as she tried hopping around and ended up falling to the floor. (Thankfully her head missed the suspension rigging by a few inches!) Blondie teased the woman in the body bag, a friend of hers. I sat there with my dissolving raspberries.

Blondie moved me around the room as needed by sliding the chair around. I was definitely helpless. She started cracking her bullwhip behind my head – it was more psychological than anything else as I heard it close to me. I did get a tap once or twice with the whip but nothing worse than a sting to my upper arm.

After the raspberries had completely dissolved she shoved a large strawberry in my mouth as a gag. It made me salivate a lot and even drip a little saliva on me. I had to bite into it gently to hold it in place, especially as it slowly dissolved. She used my panties used as makeshift blindfold. She played with food some more – making me hold multiple blueberries between my teeth. After that, she put told me to stick my tongue out and placed a chocolate piece on it. I was to hold it there. She hit my thighs some more and I cried out “ow!” while my tongue was still out. She did some hair grabbing. Some hard sucking and nibbles on nipples. Some lovely, deep, tongue kisses. She played with my siri vibe in the rope harness. (But as I often find in situations like that, the damn thing wouldn’t stay in quite the right place to get me worked up.)

Yup that's me, helplessly molested by Blondie.

She eventually untied me (I was so ready!) and took me to a mat on the floor. She teased my pussy, then made out with me for a while. (Mmm mingling tongues.) Then straddled me, her ass in my face and pinning my arms with her legs. She used my clit vibe and her fingers to make me come. I think it was the only audible orgasm that day, sadly.

We chatted with the others for a while and slowly the party broke up. We were going to grab dinner together but she was already late getting back to her place to reorganize and then go out with another submissive female playmate of hers – this one visiting from across the country.

I took the subway home, with wonderful memories to ponder.

And bruises to show for it…