I got lost in my head during play Tuesday night, so apologies if this account is disjointed. I had been overdue for a beating, so MasterDoc took to my ass with the riding crop and cane. He started off light, and very gradually increased intensity. He did it in such a way that by the time he was whacking me hard he was able to tell me to come. I came from the pain. I came from him having control. For some unknown reason that still amazes me.
We watched some porn – and this time I actually watched instead of being distracted by him fucking me. I stroked his hair as we lay by each others side. As the porn turned me on I started touching myself. I played with my breasts and nipples, something I rarely do during masturbation. I shyly reached a hand down to my pussy and started playing there. Intermittently, I’d touch him, stroking his back.
Right before having sex with me, MasterDoc looked me in the eye and told me that I was to hold off coming indefinitely. I was not allowed to beg for orgasm like I usually do. Just him giving me this directive, with that firm look in his eyes, made me wet. I struggled to keep my arousal under control as he fucked me. But of course I just kept thinking about how hot it was that he could use my body for his pleasure. It seems as if telling me not to come makes me just want to come more!
We cuddled up after the fucking, and his phone rang. This distracted me so when he told me to come a moment later, I wasn’t anywhere near ready to come. He talked to me about keeping with where we are mentally. After all, the phone can be ignored. I’ll try to do better next time.
My memories of that evening are in bits and pieces, so forgive me if this isn’t as coherent as most posts.
As we cuddled I did some spot worship (see 5th paragraph in that post), and he called me the “High Priestess of Spot Worship.” Hee hee. I know how to play with his special spot really well by now. I stroke his chest languidly, focusing on “the spot” but also touching the rest of his torso – from tummy to collar bone. I’ve joked that I want a sex toy company to make a toy version of his spot so if I ever lose him I can stroke it for comfort.
He had me suck his cock for a while, and I struggled a bit with the reservoir tip of the condom tickling the back of my throat. That’s the only thing I truly hate about blow jobs with condoms.
At one point, I was laying down in such a way that I was looking up at him – and I mentioned that I loved the perspective. Having him above me like that felt so representative of the power dynamic between us. I thought about the idea of him being a god for the length of our scenes. The majority of the time, we’re two humans with strengths and weaknesses. But when we play we can be something else for a while. He can be a god to me, and I can feel safe in his arms. He can be in control, which he likes and I can give up control, which I like. (Of course, ever the irreverent Dom, MasterDoc made some funny noises and hand motions when I said I liked the perspective. Kinda changed the feeling!) Many times that night I felt like declaring I’m his, over and over.
He fucked me from behind a couple of times with that order not to come or ask to come still applying. His cock wasn’t cooperating as much as he would have liked, so the fucking didn’t last long. He had intended to fuck me until he came.
I was feeling really ready for limit pushing, and he had me give his asshole a big kiss. I still don’t like doing it, but it’s hot in the way that I’m being told what to do. Thankfully it is always freshly cleaned when he has me do it. I still pause a second and give him a “do I have to?” look before doing what he tells me to do.
We took a break, and he checked on DeeDee. (She struggles with depression like I do, and was having a tough day.) MasterDoc planned to fuck me later that night as I got so drowsy I was ready to fall asleep, but that got put off. (Something for the wishing box.)
So our new friend – I didn’t get into the blog thing much so I have no idea what alias she’d like – and I prefer giving people the choice of their blog name. So I think I’ll still refer to her as “new friend” until (if) I can suss out what she wants to be called here.
She wrote a sexy, smart, fun ad on craigslist looking for a couple to Dominate her. She sent MasterDoc a picture – and is really cute. And while I so often feed on other people’s insecurities, I didn’t get the feeling from her that she had any issue with what she was doing there with us – and it was easier for me to join in than it usually is. (MasterDoc indicated that on the surface it didn’t look too different, but I really felt a difference in my comfort level.) Also, I worry that cute, young, thin people will look at me, or MasterDoc or DeeDee, and think one or more of us is too old, fat, unattractive, etc. I not only sell myself short, I sell my loved ones short too. (Horrible isn’t it? I mean, if I find them to be fucking hot why don’t I believe others will too?? Again, I buy too into the narrative that says you have to be young, thin, beautiful to be sexy. Dammit Nadia, stop that!)
I actually agreed, pretty easily too, to wear the maid costume yesterday. It seemed like it would fit the situation and indeed it did. DeeDee was in Domme mode and had on a fabulous outfit. (A red and black mesh fishtail sort of skirt and her black corset. Nice!) While there were times when it felt like we were playacting, I think that’s really what we wanted – to fulfill our fantasies. To not be totally “ourselves” the whole time. We clicked well on an “ourselves” level, but we also had great fun indulging our perversions.
As I said earlier, with this woman somehow I picked up that she was keen to fuck and be kinky like I so often am. I didn’t have doubts about her desires like I do around so many women. MasterDoc and DeeDee said they had a hard time reading her and seeing her get aroused initially, but I picked up on the subtle changes in her breathing or reactions. (MasterDoc is usually the master at this, but I guess I just clicked with her in that way a little more.)
MasterDoc got her on the bed and spanked her for a bit. He caned her a little too, something she hadn’t experienced before, and he of course kept it to a minimum. (She also mentioned that her non-kinky boyfriend wouldn’t like seeing her really marked up. He doesn’t get the sense of it being sexy like us kinky freaks do.) At some point he ended up spanking DeeDee and making her come.
We had put the underbed restraints on the bed before she got there, and MasterDoc had me help put her in the restraints. This makes me think back to the first time I played with MasterDoc alone, and I ended up restrained on his living room floor thinking, “Gee, I hope my impressions of him being safe are spot on, or I could be in deep shit!” Thankfully they were spot on, and maybe my presence and the trust I so clearly have for him can help convey this level of safety to other women who come play.
The details of this interlude are fuzzy like intense sexual experiences often are. I know that I used the gigi vibe on her body – teasing her breasts, belly, and pussy. I allowed myself to get into enjoying playing with her, and as a result this was probably far hotter for her than me being shy would have been. I can’t recall if we made her come with the toys just then – or after a short break. MasterDoc left her bound in the bedroom for a few minutes and spoke to DeeDee and I out in the living room. Then he and I went back in.
I went down on her, and I think I’m finally getting over my stupid hangups about giving oral sex to women. It’s so sad that I haven’t let myself enjoy it because I’ve been fed the notion that women’s genitals are “smelly” or “dirty” my whole life. Fuck that. Eating pussy can be really fun and hot.
Perhaps this is when we took over really working her body over – MasterDoc lubed up the gigi and put it inside. I used the magic wand on her clit. We took turns pounding her with our fingers (not an easy thing to do, but she reacted the most to that). Ultimately we made her come as she lay tied down on the bed.
I was feeling patient and secure for once – while I was horny and wanted orgasms I was truly able to trust that MasterDoc would see to me sooner or later. I immersed myself in enjoying the hot perversity going on around me, and didn’t require the focus to be on me.
I teased MasterDoc at one point and he decided to cane me. Once his attention turned to me, he realized that I hadn’t come yet, and before putting our guest on the sybian, he gave me a ride. Yummy! The unyearned for orgasms are sometimes the best – the surprise satisfaction you’re given while you’re being patient and not self-centered. I squirted like a fountain, came violently, and I’m sure impressed our guest. I had to lay down after, and DeeDee was so very kind to clean up for me.
I felt fucking great. It was time to get our guest on the sybian. MasterDoc gave her a ride while DeeDee spanked her (though MasterDoc didn’t think it was hard enough) and pressed against her. (I forgot to mention that DeeDee did the same to me – it was really hot but nearly anything could have been done to me at that point and I would have found it hot.) It took a while, but she came hard and came away from the experience agreeing that the sybian is fucking awesome. She even squirted for the first time!
She and I hung out chatting while DeeDee and MasterDoc ended up in the bedroom again. We could hear DeeDee coming, and while I’m usually an insatiable slut at that point in time I was ready to hang out and chat. That’s the type of friend with benefits I want – one I can hang out with and have intelligent conversation with – not just fucking.
Our new friend had to get going, so we said our goodbyes. I let her know that I hoped she comes back. We’ll see what comes of it. Although MasterDoc is concerned we focused too much on her pleasure and not enough on her use.
A little later, I was still sooooo horny. And this week I’ve only just come to realize that I repress a certain percentage of my horniness because once MasterDoc is done having sex, I figure I should be happy with what he gives me. But this isn’t the smartest move as I’ve started feeling resentful that a man with three girlfriends isn’t giving me as much sex and play as I’d like. It’s truly okay that he sees other women and has fun with them, but my sexual needs aren’t being met 100% – despite sex with MasterDoc being the best fucking sex I have ever had in my life. I’d be thrilled to have even more sex with him, but since he is so very poly, I realize that I need to find another person to help finish meeting my sexual needs. It’s definitely not that MasterDoc is inadequate – I repressed so much because I love him and last thing I want him to feel is inadequate. But like him, I like fucking a variety of people. Plus I’m in my late 30′s and like most women my age I’m phenomenally horny. When he was younger he did some weekends of just fucking, eating, sleeping, repeat, but I don’t think it’s where he is in his life just now. But it’s where I am. And I’ve realized I should find that – the wonderfulness of being poly is that I don’t HAVE to rely on MasterDoc to meet every single little need or desire I have.
So we had a little libido dissonance – MasterDoc was ready to relax after having a whole long sexual interlude. This was not unreasonable. But I was still insanely horny. I still crave a lot more involved and creative sex than he’s been up for lately. (I’m dying for bondage. I seriously need someone to make me feel helpless and come. I was craving intoxication play last night – anything to make me feel helpless. That’s one of my many kinks – feeling helpless and having someone fuck me in that state (when it’s consensual) makes me really, really hot. I want someone to do a big elaborate scene Domming me. I crave this. I don’t crave another D/s relationship – I crave a playpartner. I’m happy with MasterDoc as my Dom. But I want to be doing more.
He likes to make sure I’m satisfied, so he did eventually get in the mood and he fucked me. I loved it. I went to bed so very happy.
(I had a lot of struggle with whether he was doing it just to make me happy. I never want a partner to have sex with me solely because I want it – I’d rather be horny and frustrated than feeling like I pressured someone into something. He had to convince me he WANTED sex too. He just wasn’t starting from the same horny spot I was in.)
Friday night I was excited to go to the swing club with MasterDoc and DeeDee. It had been a while since I had been there, and I have fun with them when we go together. I was feeling really horny and really up for some adventure – in other words I wasn’t having any sort of hang ups about my sexuality like I occasionally do. (Strangely, MasterDoc was not feeling the public sex thing so much.) We started getting sexual and a guy, a nice looking one at that, came into the room and asked if he could watch. Of course MasterDoc said yes. He was even thinking that the guy was attractive and I’d probably like fucking him. Too bad he fucked it all up.
MasterDoc was making out with me, DeeDee was kneeling on the floor blowing MasterDoc. And this fucking idiot grabbed at DeeDee – not an innocuous, testing touch on the shoulder or something – no, he grabbed her cunt. MasterDoc was suitably pissed off and told the guy directly to fuck off and leave. Hopefully he learned a lesson in respect and consent that night. I didn’t see the guy again for the rest of the night – I have a feeling he left after being told off like that and fucking up so badly.
We ended up moving into the next room where the air conditioning wasn’t quite so cold and there is a larger bed. MasterDoc teased me, and DeeDee played with his ass as he did so. I was really worked up and eager to be fucked.
Now, I learned something that night – a couple – one that DeeDee and I found to be pretty repulsive – climbed onto the bed with us and started fooling around with each other – and reaching over to touch me every so often. I had such a hard time staying turned on because I really didn’t want that guy touching me. I was really unhappy that MasterDoc didn’t stop him. Turns out that in traditional couples’ swinging that’s what you do – you plop on the bed next to someone and the women start to mess around with each other. I didn’t know this. While MasterDoc got me up on all fours and fucked me, I had a hard time staying with the pleasure because that creepy guy was touching me. If I was there as a single woman and non-submissive, I would have told him to stop. But as a sub I’m expected to let MasterDoc control these things. And at times like that it fucking sucks.
But MasterDoc fucked me hard, with a lot more pounding than usual. DeeDee groped me and focusing on them I managed to enjoy myself and come really hard (and squirt).
We gathered our stuff and went for a drink. Sitting on a sofa in front of the bar (it’s byob but they provide soda, juice water, etc.). MasterDoc started playing with DeeDee and he had me get out a vibe. I pulled out my nea since I know she loves it. Since I’m one who knows how to turn it on, I started using it on her nipples then cunt once I got it vibrating. She closed her eyes and got really aroused. I opened her pussy lips to get it right against clit, which she really liked. MasterDoc told her to come, and with both of us working her over she came really hard. MasterDoc took over the nea, and then started slapping her pussy to make her come. DeeDee was in her happy place although I think orgasming like a slut from being pussy slapped can make her feel too slutty.
I watched some of the porn that was on, and I realized that sluts are sexy because they enjoy having sex. We’re socialized to think slutty=bad, but dammit, sluts have the best time!
I noticed that there was an unusual amount of cute guys at the club that night. I was so up for sex that I managed to smile confidently at a hot Asian lady and her gentleman. She seemed interested, he wasn’t. Boo. She commented on my collar and it was one of various things that led us to think that there was a D/s dynamic to their relationship.
Now I not only looked out for hot women to share with MasterDoc, I also noticed the cute guys. Since I was feeling especially horny and slutty on a night with cute guys, I thought that things intersected perfectly to try to get that gangbang MasterDoc has promised me for forever. MasterDoc sometimes doesn’t know who I’ll find cute and who I won’t. There was a skinny hipster guy with longish hair and a beard who MasterDoc thought I wouldn’t like. But damn, I thought he was cute. (I’m not really sure of his ethinicity if he’s hispanic or asian or some combination thereof. Mr. Hipster played around with DeeDee after getting MasterDoc’s permission while I played with MasterDoc’s spot. An attractive guy came over and sat on the floor in front of me and offered to give me a foot rub. Turns out he’s a submissive (and a foot fetishist) and so he was easy to talk to. We pointed out that DeeDee is the switchy one and after my foot rub he gave her one at her request. While DeeDee had his attention, MasterDoc made me come with his fingers right there in front of everyone one. I felt so fucking hot. All these attractive guys were looking at me like I was the hottest thing on two legs – and in a way I was. I enjoy sex. I don’t hide it. That’s fucking hot. The hipster guy came closer expressing interest and a cute metrosexual guy with hip glasses too. (Goodness knows I had been giving them the eye and encouraging smiles.) MasterDoc let them touch me and soon the hipster was playing with my tits while I stroked his cock and the metro guy was massaging my thighs and cunt. To my glee, MasterDoc decided to let me get fucked like I desired. He made me say what I wanted loudly – which is damn hot in and of itself.
We wander off to the exhibitionist room and I stroked metro guy to get him hard and he grabbed a condom to be ready to fuck me. MasterDoc checked in with DeeDee and left her in charge of herself. (She got cunnilingus from foot guy, which of course led to lots of fabulous orgasms.)
Metro guy fucked me with him on top, and it felt great but he was so turned on by me (lil’ ol’ me??) that he came pretty quickly. Next hipster fucked me, after asking MasterDoc if he could put me in doggy style position. He lasted much longer and I came, face buried in MasterDoc’s lap as he tells me “good girl.” MasterDoc had me suck his cock, and he made me keep my head down before a third guy started fucking me. Third guy had wiry pubic hair and kept slipping out – not a great fuck. Plus I worried that he would skeeve me since MasterDoc made me not look at him – but I got a look afterward and while he wasn’t as “cute” as the hipster and metrosexual, he seemed like a nice guy and someone I felt comfortable with.
I really enjoyed blowing MasterDoc while being a well fucked slut. A lot of guys watched the whole scene and one or two expressed interest in being next. MasterDoc got one guy to hold the flashlight and highlight the fucking and blowing going on. DeeDee came over at that point and we took turns blowing MasterDoc.
We called it a night at this point, and I was a very happy slut. It’s funny how people try to say that slutty women have low self-esteem – I get far sluttier when I feel confident and love myself.
I received an email a while back asking if I wanted to review [Sex: How to Do Everything] with Em and Lo (Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey). I’ve been familiar with their names since reading their sex column in New York magazine years back. I figured sure, why not review it?
There are ten, roughly 45-minute-long episodes that were filmed for British tv (although their “man on the street” interviews take place in London and New York). It took me ages to sit down and watch them all, but I had some time this weekend to plow through the last 5 episodes. I started the series wondering if it really covered “how to do everything” and you know, it pretty much does. I have only a couple of complaints – first, it’s very heterocentric. While some of the average people they interview are gay or bi, the rest of the show doesn’t acknowledge same sex relationships and experiences. However, lots of the information is general enough that queer couples can learn many things from the series as well if they can overlook all the male/female couplings.
The second thing that bothered me is that in the episode on sex toys they mention phthalates, and that they’re bad for you, but not in what types of materials they’re found. Their “roving reporters” Dougie and Georgie (a M/F couple) go on to review a variety of toys including jelly ones with no mention of their phthalate content.
But those two caveats aside, I think this is a fabulous series. It’s fairly explicit (in the spirit of being educational rather than titillating) and very educational. It’s clearly intended for adults only, but I think this sort of sex-positive series should be featured in high school sex ed classes. Seriously, if more teens saw this then more people would go on to have healthy, safe, and pleasurable sex lives. The tone is always positive, they put in valuable safety warnings – from safer sex to safe BDSM play – and cover a huge territory. They cover furries! They cover BDSM! They cover auto-fellatio! They feature an interracial couple as their main “demo models.” And Dougie and Georgie are attractive yet average – and Georgie’s enthusiasm for sex is wonderful to see. Dougie is a lucky man.
There’s fun features like “dog toy or sex toy” where people are asked to identify a variety of toys, which can get pretty funny. The tone is informative but not boring at all. It approaches sex with a healthy, positive attitude.
The episodes are:
1 – Oral (including a sculptor who casts vulvas as art, Midori giving a very seductive blow job lesson,
a clinical psychologist talking positively about vulvas)
2 – Manual (including hand jobs, masturbation, great anatomy info section on manual stimulation on women, Carol Queen’s masturbate-a-thon)
3 – Orgasm (including g-spot and female ejaculation)
4- Toys
5 – Intercourse
6- Kink (interview with a Domme, Violet Wands, furries)
7 – Anal (including prostate massage. MasterDoc is glad I watched this section! They warn about desensitizing gels, safer sex precautions (like dental dam for rimming) and to use lots and lots of lube)
8 – Fantasy (dress up, role play, striptease, covers UK law on sex in public, porn, abduction fantasy acted out, dogging (acts done in public for others)
9 – Seduction (tantra, striptease/burlesque)
10 – Best of – a compilation of highlights from the series
Unfortunately, the first dvd in my set was a little messed up so a few scenes were unwatchable. But I cannot recommend this series enough – particularly for people who are inexperienced sexually. But even for jaded old sex bloggers like me there were many useful things to learn from the shows.
It’s interesting spending time alone with MasterDoc while DeeDee is staying at his place. I get this feeling of guilt when she goes off to her room for the evening. Is she feeling left out? Should we include her? I remind myself that she gets time alone with MasterDoc when I’m not around, and since she’s staying there temporarily there’s bound to be times when MasterDoc has scheduled time with me and she will go off and do her own thing. And if I was around MasterDoc all the time (or anyone quite frankly) I’d like some time by myself as well.
But I feel guilty. I’m sure I will be told that I should get over this.
After dinner, he and I did spend some time watching a movie in the living room until he decided he was horny and we should head to the bedroom. I was totally in agreement with that.
We cuddled and talked on the bed for a while. He started stroking my body gently and I closed my eyes to savor it. He told me to think about him doing something kinky that I’d like him to do to me. He quietly but in total command led me verbally into my head. I’ve been craving bondage and so I started fantasizing that I’m gagged and bound on the bed. As my breath grew short with the fantasy combined with his gently touching my body, he asked me what I was visualizing. While I felt the usual shyness at verbalizing my fantasies, I did open up to him right away and describe what I was envisioning. (In the moment I have a hard time asking for what I want or admitting to some of my dark fantasies. Writing about it on the internet is a totally different situation for me.) He asked me what he was doing to me in the fantasy, and I said that I hadn’t gotten that far yet, I was still imagining what it feels like to be bound and gagged while he touches me.
He started talking about the advantages to having me bound and said that he could do so many interesting things to me. The verbal sex had me in quite a state. He wasn’t touching me in overtly sexual ways but I could feel my body build arousal, heading towards orgasm.
I have a hard time recalling exactly what he did do to me touch-wise, but when it was apparent that I was really turned on he told me to come – and I came without genital stimulation. I orgasmed really hard as I kept my eyes closed and visualized myself bound and helpless and him playing with my body. I think he did start sexual stimulation at some point in the middle of this. (I was coming, can you expect me to remember clearly?) I kept coming as long as he wanted me to and I had to take deep breaths to slow down my breathing when he told me to take it down and gradually come back to earth. I was grinning ear to ear after and thinking about how much of sex is mental. Being together in a D/s relationship for nearly 3 years now, he’s done such a good job getting inside of my head. For many reasons I hope that he keeps his mental faculties as he ages – one of which is because even if his body isn’t up for sex any more when he’s older, we can still have hot as anything verbal sex.
After my orgasms, he didn’t think that his cock was going to cooperate, so we were going to go back to the living room to continue the movie. But after a moment or so he decided that it couldn’t hurt to try having me suck his cock. I was thrilled. Isn’t that every straight guy’s fantasy? Having a woman who loves to suck his cock? I enjoyed my “work” thoroughly and his cock did react to my enthusiastic ministrations. Going down on him is truly a turn-on for me. I’ve gotten good with using my hands in the area around his cock and I’ve learned so much over the past few years about how he likes his blow jobs. While there’s always new things to learn about a partner, it’s nice to reach a point where you can be confident that you do a good job.
Since his cock was hard now he told me to get a condom and get on top of him. Yeeha! I got to ride his cock, thrusting up and down on it, stimulating the nerves in my cunt. I pushed myself to the edge of orgasm and moaned like crazy because I wanted to come. But at the same time I did want to be teased for a while. He fucked me, thrusting upwards. As his cock was buried in me he told me to come. My body convulsed and I fell forward onto him. He kept pushing his hips up and feeling his cock touch my cervix was amazing. Eventually my vagina of steel pushed him out partially and he lost his erection. But he kept me coming just with some verbal encouragement and some knowledgeable massaging of my body. Fuck.
I sat up as soon as I could so he didn’t have to support my weight fully. Again, I was grinning ear to ear at my good fortune of him finding and pursuing me.
Before the sex, while we were watching the film in the living room, he had me sit to his left, so that I’m slightly behind his line of sight when we look at the screen. He had felt uncomfortable with me there instead of in front of him and wanted to figure out why. It dawned on him – he can keep an eye on my well-being when he can see me. If I’m somewhat behind him it’s harder to keep tabs on me. I was touched to no end. It’s not a matter of feeling like he has to control me every second, it’s truly a matter of him feeling that taking care of me is his responsibility as my Dom, and he feels better when he can keep tabs on me. I feel very loved.
It had been maybe a week since I had an evening alone with MasterDoc. While DeeDee joined us for dinner, afterward she retired to the room she’s staying in at MasterDoc’s. I took a moment while in the bedroom with the sex toys to try to find the Hitachi magic wand as I try to have that plugged in and ready at all times – only I couldn’t find it. I told MasterDoc about this and he despaired a little that it was missing, however it turned up later, just buried under some other toys in a drawer. Yes, I didn’t look hard enough.
It wasn’t until MasterDoc pointed it out as we lay on the bed that I realized I was more active in getting us headed towards sex than usual. I’m pretty passive usually – my image of submission is for the Dom to decide when we have sex. It’s taken me a long time to realize that I am allowed to initiate as well. (Doesn’t mean we will always have sex when I initiate, but I’m welcome to do it.) I guess I was horny. My last orgasm had been a struggle while I was dealing with PTSD over the weekend. I’ve opted to skip the story of that evening.
So there was some relaxation and pillow talk at first. I started blabbering about how at the thrift store over the weekend I thought about maybe looking for cheap clothes that could be ripped off me. MasterDoc pointed out that the other way is possible – me ripping clothes off him. Rowr. He realized that a shirt he just threw out due to stains would have been perfect for ripping off him – particularly while out at a club. With this image, I said to him, “You’re really about theater when you have sex in public, aren’t you?” He agreed that it’s a performance art in a way. I think torn clothing will feature down the line at some point. I also think I should discuss with him constructing scenes to play out in public. I’m all for that.
He had me lay on my back with my collar on. I had gotten some needles and the remainder of the alcohol wipes at his request. I wasn’t sure how needle play would go after the PTSD bout, but it turned out to be a terrific thing. He groped me, testing out various places to put the needle. My inner hip (does that make sense? The ravine where hip meets thigh and crotch?) seemed too sensitive and I hoped he wouldn’t go there. After some exploration, he alcohol swabbed off my upper right breast… and that inner hip spot. Shit.
He placed his hands, needle in one of them, on my breast. I couldn’t see the spot where he was going to stick me through his other hand. I was afraid of the pain, but it slid in effortlessly and instead of pain there was a rush of endorphins. I contemplated why needle play is erotic (for me anyway) and I realized that nothing is more personal than having someone infiltrate your skin. I mean, orifices are designed to be penetrated safely, but letting someone pierce your skin is an act of supreme trust and intimacy.
He put a second needle just below the first one. This one started to slide out a bit, so I ended up with another puncture as he reinserted the end of the needle. This one hurt. But the pain is worth it for the rush of chemicals that follows. He toyed with my body, slapped my pussy. I kept hoping he would tell me to come but he played with me for a while.
My hand sought out his cock in the heat of passion. I stroked it, being careful not to squeeze or pull on it when he let me come. As I came, he inserted his fingers inside me and pressed up into my g-spot, while simultaneously pressing down on the spot from the outside. He yanked a series of beautiful orgasms from my body. While I was still coming, he slipped the needles out. (And I was relieved that he never stuck them in that hip spot.)
I rested after, content. He really makes me happy in so many ways.
He had me suck his cock for a while and I dove into it. He pushed down on my head a couple of times – choking me far more realistically than before. At one point I pulled away from the gagging, reeling with a perverse high. When I gathered my wits, I went right back to sucking his cock. We did this a few times before he had me get lube and condoms. It’s strange but the more real the choking gets the more I like it.
He had me try to put the condom on with my mouth, but it really wouldn’t work with his cock. As it is, his head is super-sensitive and I have to stretch condoms out a bit to get it over the head normally. I used my hands to apply the condom. I played with his pubic area, working him up. He had me ride him and I did so in my usual enthusiastic slutty way. When I was desperate to come, he told me to, and I was overcome with orgasm. While my pussy pushed his cock out pretty quickly, I kept coming. He massaged my body as I leaned forward on him and came. When I was exhausted, he let me rest a moment, but then started teasing me with his hands again. He gave me the command to come again, and I did even without any genital stimulation. I squirted all over his balls and cock.
I was grinning ear to ear afterward. I told him that I think having sex with him is good for me. He agreed.
This Lady Gaga song inspired me to write a bit of erotica for a change. The video has nothing to do with my fantasy, but I love it all the same for being totally campy and sexy at the same time.
This is some pretty kinky shit, but if you read here regularly you should realize the kinds of things that are talked about on this blog. And without further ado: “Show Me Your Teeth.”
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She had dared him to go further than before. The butterflies tickled her stomach as she wondered if she could handle what he was going to dish out.
She had shared some of her darkest fantasies with him – the ones where she’s tied up helpless, the ravishment fantasies, the ones where he does things to her she likes to think she doesn’t want. But at the same time becoming his slut entirely turns her on immensely and she hopes that her gentle teasing has gotten him worked up enough to really push her limits this time.
She had spent some time reassuring him that she was ready for this. She wanted him to reach down and find those dark places of his soul and utilize them so they could both fulfill the twisted fantasies that brought them together.
He put her collar around her neck, and while he usually wasn’t big on protocol, he ordered her to kneel before him, forehead touching the floor. She did as she was told and steeled herself for what she hoped would be a bumpy ride.
He placed his foot on her head, holding it down.
“Are you sure you’re ready slut?” he asked her.
“Yes, Sir,” she replied immediately. She could feel her cunt begin to get wet. He removed his foot from her head and had her sit up. He sat on the sofa across from her spot on the floor and looked into her eyes.
“You are going to do everything I tell you tonight without question. I am going to take you to a place of humiliation and submission that you’ve never been to before.” She took a deep breath at this. “Go get the behind the back restraints.”
She was thrilled he asked for those – she had always hoped they’d use them again. Just having them on made her hot. When she returned to the room with the restraints, he stood up and put them on her. He buckled the collar, then buckled each wrist into their respective cuffs. She straightened up, and in this position her full breasts stood out. He took a hunk of her hair in his hand and shook her head around a little. She closed her eyes in a bit of a swoon. While her eyes were closed, he raised his hand and slapped her across the face a few times, each time a little harder than the first. When she opened her eyes he looked at her intently.
“I’ll be back in a moment. I expect you to stand at attention for me right here, understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
She could feel every inch of her skin thrum as she heard him go off into the bedroom where the toys were kept. She tried to figure out what he was getting by the noises, but she couldn’t be certain. There was a chain noise and otherwise the noises were indistinguishable.
He came up behind her and placed a blindfold over her eyes. Now she was helpless and unable to see. He started to pull something else over her face, and she soon realized it was the muzzle. Her helplessness increased with not being able to communicate easily. He tweaked a nipple and she practically gushed wetness knowing that she was at his mercy. A chain rattled. She tried to discern if it was a leash or not. As he started pulling at her nipples, making them stand out, she realized that the chain must be one that connects two nipple clamps. The question was, which ones?
He slowly released the clamp onto one nipple. As it continued to bite and bite she knew it must be the clover clamps. She took deep breaths through her nose to cope with the pain. Clover clamps weren’t something she’d grown accustomed to just yet.
“Take the pain for me slut,” he said as he tugged lightly on the clamp to make sure it was on securely. She whimpered and he stroked the side of her face. “Breathe deeply. That’s it.”
He went for the other nipple and soon the other clamp was biting into her flesh. On the one hand, she wondered if she could stand the pain, on the other, her cunt felt like it was on fire. He pulled a little on the chain and she whimpered loudly. She moved her hands instinctively but of course found them to be secured behind her back, where they couldn’t do her any good.
He helped her balance as she was lowered onto her knees on the floor. Her senses were flooded with the pain, and the feel of his hand on her shoulders, and the anticipation of what might come next. He removed the muzzle. “You’re not to speak unless spoken too, understand cunt?”
“Yes, Sir,” she replied.
She heard him unzip his pants and he took his semi-hard cock out and slapped her on the face a few times. “You’re my cock-sucking whore,” he said, “You’re my piss-drinking whore. You’re my ass-licking whore. Open your mouth.” He put his cock in and she hoped that he was too hard to piss in her mouth. Anyway, he wasn’t likely to do it in the living room where there would be a mess if she failed to catch every drop.
She sucked, having a hard time keeping his ever-hardening cock in her mouth without the use of her hands. He grabbed the back of her head, and pulled her face right into his crotch. She tried to breathe through her nose while he gagged her on his cock, but soon she was sputtering and dripping drool down her chest. “Again, whore,” he said as he pushed his cock into her mouth and straight to the back of her throat again. He fucked her mouth hard and drool ran down her chin. Snot started to flow out of her nose and she was sure her makeup would be moist and messed up under the blindfold. He choked her repeatedly on his large cock, and then pulled her head back by the hair and slapped her face a few times. She could feel her sense of will melting as she became nothing more than his whore. She wanted him to hurt her. She wanted him to use her.
He reached down and slowly removed the clover clamps. She cried out as they came off and the blood painfully rushed back into each nipple. He slapped her for making noise and put the muzzle back over her mouth. “Get up,” he said and he helped her to her feet as she couldn’t hold her balance with her arms behind her. He undid the restraints and she rolled her shoulders to ease the soreness in them. She could hear and feel a leash hook onto her collar and he led her, still blindfolded, into the bedroom. He had her kneel on the bed, head down, ass in the air. Without warm up, he caned her a few swift times. She cried out under her muzzle.
Next this cold and slick fingers were pushing into her ass, lubing her up. She could feel the cold steel butt plug as he stroked it teasingly around her asshole. He pushed, and it slid in, filling her up. With his other hand, he checked between her pussy lips. “You’re a wet little slut, aren’t you?” She could hear the wet noises as he slapped her pussy. He slid a finger inside and wiggled it around just a little bit. She moaned and pushed back onto his hand.
He laughed.
“Not yet slut.”
He removed the muzzle and the blindfold, and slid his finger, slick with her juices, into her mouth. She obediently sucked his finger clean. As he pulled away momentarily, her eyes blinked, adjusting to the light in the room. She could still feel the heavy steel plug in her ass. He told her to lay down on her stomach and rest for a moment. He gathered up more toys.
He lay down next to her on the bed and she pulled herself close to his chest. She wanted him so badly that she started to lick his chest and massage it with her fingers. He let her do this for a moment, and lay back to enjoy her attentions.
His cock was hard again when he had her stop and lay on her stomach. She felt the cold swipe of an alcohol wipe on each ass cheek. This could only mean one thing – needles. Her ass chilled as the alcohol evaporated from her skin. She listened to him unwrap a couple of needles. He grabbed one ass cheek and slid a needle into her flesh, the needle exiting out a short distance later. She took a deep breath and her body soon flooded with endorphins. He stuck her again, on the other side this time, and again she was flying high on her body’s own natural drug. She was blissfully in subspace. Her will had dropped completely, and she only wanted to do whatever he wanted her to do. He let her lie there and enjoy the rush for a few minutes. He knew, however, that this was the ideal time to really push her limits.
After removing each needle, he asked her if she was able to stand. “I think so, Sir,” she replied and unsteadily sat up on the bed. He looked into her eyes, leaned forward, and kissed her deeply.
“You’re a good girl. Now let’s see if you’re as obedient as I expect you to be tonight.”
He led her into the bathroom, and she knew this meant piss play. She always had such mixed feelings about piss play. On the one hand it was degrading and gross. On the other hand, she relished him putting her into that mental space. It wasn’t that she thought she was worthless, it was just that him making her feel dirty and under his control gave her such a high.
He had her kneel in the cold tub. Would he just pee on her, or would this be the time he finally followed through with his threat and peed in her mouth? He removed her collar, “just for practicality’s sake.” She knew that even without that symbol around her neck she was expected to obey.
“Are you my obedient slut?”
“Yes, Sir. I’m your obedient slut.”
He made sure to look into her eyes as he spoke. “I expect you to prove that now to me. This next part can be as easy or difficult as you make it. I expect you to try your hardest to please me.”
She could feel herself shake a little. This was it. This was when he followed through on the months of threats. God, would she be able to stand the taste of piss in her mouth? Would it totally freak her out? Thankfully the endorphins from earlier were still flowing and she felt a rush when faced with the challenge of doing that which she found totally repulsive. He stepped as close to the tub as he could, and took his mostly soft cock into his hand. He took hold of her hair with the other hand. “Open your mouth.”
She did as she was told, with only a slight hesitation. She closed her eyes tight, but he wasn’t having that. “Look at me, bitch!” She opened up her eyes and looked up at him, standing over her like some sort of powerful god. He wanted to see her eyes as he did this. He wanted to watch the struggle as it unfolded in her head and showed in her eyes.
With her mouth wide open, and eyes wide open as well, she felt the first hot drops of piss land on her tongue. A panic came over her, but she steadied herself and let it flow into her mouth. He relished the look in her eyes. It was a look of panic and disgust, but she held herself still as he pissed into her mouth. He felt powerful knowing that he could make her do this.
“Swallow as much as you can, cunt.”
She gagged as she swallowed but she kept coming back for more because more than anything else she wanted to please him. She wanted to show her devotion by letting him use her however he wanted. When she’d gag and cough a little he ended up pissing on her face and into her hair. A few tears escaped the corners of her eyes. He took hold of her hair more tightly and continued to let go a long stream of piss into her mouth.
“Hold it in your mouth a moment. Show me.”
She knew he meant the piss and, struggling against all sorts of forces within her, she held a pool of it in her mouth, revolted by the taste. He looked into her eyes.
“Now swallow cunt.” She did and collapsed in the tub, crying. To an outsider, she seemed broken and devastated. But she felt a certain freedom in having let go of her inhibitions so. He let her collapse, but he continued pissing onto her body. “You’re my filthy, piss-drinking slut. One of these days I’ll do this with a whole crowd of men to watch. Then I’ll have them piss all over you as well. You’ll reek of piss and they will be amazed at how much you’re my whore.” He finished pissing on her.
“Clean up,” he said as he left the room. She slowly gathered her wits. She felt emptied out inside, like all her worries no longer had a space within her. Somehow she felt baptized, new. She adjusted the water in the tub and began rinsing herself off. She took handfuls of water into her mouth and rinsed it out as best she could. She had to wash her hair as he had pissed there as well.
She dried off. She put her collar back on and went to find Sir. Her damp hair hung limply and clung to her face. She had forgotten temporarily about the plug in her ass.
She found him in the living room and she asked his permission to use the toilet. He didn’t grant it right away but made her sit on the floor at his feet. The fullness of her bladder added to her arousal in some strange way. Still, she was becoming desperate to use the bathroom.
He lifted her chin and she had a hard time looking at him. “You’re a good girl,” he said. She let out a deep breath and focused her eyes on him. “You can go use the bathroom now.”
She paused for a moment, wanting to ask if she could remove the plug from her ass, but then she remembered that she wasn’t to speak unless spoken to. Thankfully, he noticed the conflicted look on her face and he asked her what she was thinking.
“May I please remove the plug from my ass, Sir?”
He laughed a little. “I had forgotten it was in there. Yes, you may remove it. Now go use the bathroom and meet me in the bedroom after.”
He handed her the ball gag when she arrived. She put it on and he had her get on hands and knees on the bed again. He stroked his hard cock and put a condom on it.
He pulled her ass apart and could see the slick, shaved lips of her cunt. She was remarkably wet. He slid his cock into her and fucked her slowly. Her muffled moans turned him on more, and he felt a sense of ownership over her. She moaned and pushed her hips back to sink his cock as deeply as she could. His cock stayed completely rigid as he fucked her. Her moans became louder through the gag. She could come at any second, he only had to give the word. But he was enjoying teasing her and he pounded her cunt a little with his cock, listening to the desperation grow in her moans.
Finally, he thrust his cock as deep inside her as he could and told her to come. His entire body trembled and he could feel her cunt convulse around his cock. She made a remarkable amount of noise for someone who was gagged. As she came, he felt his own arousal peak and shot forth a wad of hot come. He groaned and twitched as her pussy continued milking his cock as she came. He felt his balls suddenly drenched as she squirted. He smiled.
As they both lay limp on the bed after, he put his mouth to hear ear and said, “I’m very proud of you cunt.” She glowed from within from his compliment.
I had a great afternoon watching videos on KinkAcademy.com. I loved the self-bondage (rope handcuffs) instructions from Klawdya Rothschild. MasterDoc is not good with rope, perhaps I can tie myself up for him.
While it’s not a porn site, the instructional videos cause my mind to wander off into fantasies. Watching a video on caning I developed this image of me in the behind the back restraint, with the dental gag in, being caned while bent over the sofa or something. *fans self* Watching Lee Harrington’s video on age play made me think of various role playing possibilities. MasterDoc and I have talked a little about role playing lately. Not our usual, ongoing roles of Dominant and submissive, but perhaps things like Headmaster and naughty school girl, or Doctor/patient. I remember my first boyfriend and I doing a lot of role playing, since we were stuck in my car a lot we’d pretend one of us was chauffeur and the other the rich employer who seduces them. Or that one of us was totally innocent and the other is introducing them to sex (the innocent bit was not so far from the truth for either of us).
I love how Kink Academy puts a huge emphasis on safety. If you’re going to do most bdsm practices, learning what you’re doing is so important. Also, despite being an experienced kinkster, I learn new things all the time from the Kink Academy videos. Oh and I noticed this visit that there are even some free videos. Go check ‘em out.
I haven’t blogged in over a week, not content that I’ve generated at least. I’ve been dealing with a particularly rough bout of premenstrual symptoms and haven’t felt like writing. MasterDoc gave me a therapeutic beating last Wednesday that helped in the short term, but ultimately I was having enough internal issues that it didn’t last. Funnily enough, yesterday he and I both – separately – hypothesized that I may have PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder). Definitely something I will ask my gynecologist about next time. I have about a dozen of the symptoms.
Today the symptoms are starting to break, but even yesterday I was feeling anxious and irritable enough to be struggling with it. I didn’t sleep over MasterDoc’s due to the impending snow (and I am glad I went home last night!) but I did visit him for a few hours. We reconnected. He reassured me that yes, if I’m in emotional crisis like I had been last Friday night I did the right thing by getting in touch with him.
Since my mood was still unstable last night, MasterDoc declared I needed a beating and orgasms. And indeed they helped like they usually do. After he shook off the silly mood he was in, he had me lay down on the bed, face down and took the cane to my ass. The strikes focused my thoughts. I took the cane fairly well, but then he dribbled some melted wax on me. Yikes! It pooled slightly on my lower back and I kicked one leg up while trying to deal with the pain. The wax was particularly difficult to take last night. I seem to be out of practice. The caning continued and took me into subspace. I didn’t get wet like I often do but considering how not myself I felt that’s not entirely surprising. He used the little rubber flogger on me, the little ends gathering together to sting my ass.
He had me on hands and knees for some beating, and propped the magic wand against me but it kept slipping away from the perfect spot, so even though I had permission to come I couldn’t quite get there. I let MasterDoc know that it was sliding out of place, and he took over, pressing it against my clit, making me come. He took out a toy that we haven’t really used yet: snake bite suckers. The set comes with two larger ones and one thinner sucker that’s just right for the clitoris. Thankfully he only put the larger two on my nipples. As my tits hung down he commented on how they resembled udders. He flicked them with his fingers which hurt. He has decided he really likes them, and as I can wear them longer than nipple clamps he plans to have me walking around the swing club with them on. He had me kneel up, and he tormented my nipples some more.
He had me lay on my back to be fucked so he could continue to play with the nipple suckers. He tweaked them, fucked me, slapped my face. I went from zero to sixty in about two seconds. He told me I could come at will and I came, but then I came even harder as he gently but firmly applied pressure to my throat for the first time. Previously I had been afraid of even the hint of breathplay as I’m asthmatic (and have experienced not being able to breathe. Not really fun.) but I had put in my wishing box that I was curious to try a little bit with him, since I trust MasterDoc to know what he’s doing (and to know what to do in case of an emergency). He pressed a bit harder than I had expected, grabbing my collar close against my throat. For a second, I wasn’t sure if I was scared of this…. but then I came, harder than I had to this point. I was amazed by how hard I came.
I was very, very happy and calm after that.
He next had me suck his cock, and he worked in yet another wish from my wishing box: grabbing my head and choking me on his cock a few times. I find that I don’t gag as badly as I initially thought and I really like that he’s got his cock shoved down my throat and his hand firmly on my head as the thrusts his hips upward. His cock gets extra slick with my saliva which makes it even easier than usual to suck. He had me rub his wet cock over my face and I did as I was told. (Of course.)
His cock hard again, he debated fucking my ass or fucking my cunt again. He eventually opted for my cunt and got me on hands and knees. He said I had been a good girl and gave me the magic wand to use on myself. He started off slowly, teasing. He’d then fuck me harder for a moment. I kept the wand pressed against my clit but he told me not to come until I asked permission. He wanted me to take my time so he could fuck me as long as he liked. I was moaning like crazy, feeling amazing even though I was holding back from orgasm. I almost didn’t want it to end. I wish I had a recording of my moaning and babbling at that point. Out of nowhere, he told me to come. And I came as he fucked me some more. When his cock was pushed out he slapped my cunt to keep me coming and I sprayed come all over my hand, the throe, and the magic wand.
I was in a wondrous daze after that orgasm. It was hard to find somewhere to lay down since there was a big puddle, but I sat against the wall, legs splayed. Despite using the menstrual cup, there was a smudge of blood on my leg (and the come that came out of me was tinted pink due to some menstrual content.) My hands felt like they were buzzing, and it took me a moment to realize this was from holding the magic wand to my clit for a while. I felt positively amazing. If they could make that feeling into a pill form I think I’d become addicted. Oh yes.
After I cleaned up, we sat in the living room and he put on the basketball game. He had me grab pillows so I could sit on the floor at his feet – another thing I had requested in my wishing box. I happily played with my new smart phone while I sat on the floor between his legs. Occasionally I’d hug his thigh and kiss it. And other times he’d smack me playfully with his hard cock. It was an evening I sorely needed after the emotional upheaval of this month’s cycle.
I have a new toy to review and I got to try it out last night for the first time. It’s “behind the back restraint“: basically a collar with rings attached and a leather piece leading down the back, at the base of this leather piece are two wrist cuffs. MasterDoc put me in it and I was really quite helpless. He then decided to nap on the sofa and I was to wake him in 15 minutes. I sat there, hands behind my back and became totally aroused. I had been watching kinky porn before this, so I was already in a state of arousal but the bondage and knowing that MasterDoc had essentially “left” me there in that state while he napped down the other end of the couch got me even more worked up. I contemplated why I liked the sensation and I think the vulnerability of having my breasts so exposed and not being able to use my hands at all was the key. The idea of being attacked with nipple clamps that I can’t possibly take off myself, putting me entirely at his mercy made me squirm as I sat there.
He didn’t really nap much but did have me articulate what I was thinking. Then he conjured up a hot outfit to put me in next time we’re out in a club: my leather waist cincher, the behind the back restraint, a leash attached to that collar, Njoy pure plug up my ass, a gag and a blindfold. Wow. That is just so hot. Talking to Stacina online today she added in the idea of a skirt, panties and blouse – that would then be cut off using a sharp, shiny object (blouse and panties anyway).
I was reasonably comfortable in the restraints and I really enjoyed the helplessness. Problem was, we hadn’t set up any necessary items and I couldn’t even stand up from being on the couch with my arms like that! MasterDoc undid the cuffs and sent me off to the bedroom to set up. I was sad to be let free, but certainly it was practical so MasterDoc wouldn’t have to do the setting up.
When the bedroom was set, he lay on the bed and ended up in an IM conversation with Stacina. He had me lay behind him on the bed and amuse myself. I was already wet and playing with my myself when he laughed and filled me in on what Stacina was saying. Apparently she is rather switchy and was suggesting keeping him online talking to her for an extended period of time to torture me. Yikes! Sad thing is, submissive that I am, I got so hot thinking about that – about how they were deliberately ignoring me as I got more and more worked up. I started fantasizing about the two of them controlling me and taking turns fucking me. *fans self* I was really worked up. MasterDoc handed me the magic wand for a while and I teased myself deliciously until the wand started rendering me numb.
He finished his conversation shortly thereafter and turned his attention to me. I was stroking my clit, massaging my cunt. He lay down between my legs and watched me work myself up into a frenzy. My eyes were closed mostly but I loved the idea that he was stroking himself, getting hard while he watched me masturbate. I was feeling really wanton and loose. I think I used to hold back a bit with how horny I was feeling but now I get down to touching myself freely. Before he had even come into the bedroom I ran my hands over my breasts and stomach, passionately aroused.
MasterDoc fucked me from behind, and I held out begging to come for as long as I possibly could. These days I often just wait it out and enjoy the ride until he decides it’s time for me to come. I think I should be taped sometime for the audio track of a porn flick – I moan, gasp and squeal like crazy because I’m so turned on. Lately I like pressing my arousal to the point of near orgasm, but instead of coming I ride the wave of sensation until it ebbs enough to keep me from going over the edge.
The fucking was delicious. I did break down and beg for orgasm and shortly after he let me come. He plunged his cock deep into me as I twitched and came. After a while my vaginal muscles pushed his cock out and I squirted as he slapped my pussy. I kept writhing and coming and next he ran his hand up my back. Every little touch made me keep coming. He spanked my ass, first one cheek than the other and the pain felt so wonderful I cried out, “Yes! Yes!” as I came some more from the pain.
When he told me that I had had enough, I lay there in a daze. I thanked him for the orgasm and I must have been absolutely glowing. I stroked his chest and cuddled for a while, then he decided to shoo me out of the room while he went back online. I was so utterly satisfied that I was happy to go amuse myself with my laptop.
RT @Unchaste_Athene: Addendum: Also stop kissing people, because that is far more likely to give you HSV-1. 14 hrs ago
RT @Unchaste_Athene: Dear potential lovers:Unless you have a recent test saying you are HSV1-free, you have no right to be paranoid about me 14 hrs ago
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