Archive for the 'embarrassment' Category

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Endlessly Horny Slut

Published on November 17, 2010 in anal, analingus, bdsm, D/s, edge play, embarrassment, happy, horny, humiliation play, kink, libido, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, prostate massage, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, trust, Uncategorized and wax play. 0 Comments

I often think that time spent alone with MasterDoc in sexual situations can’t get any better. And then they do.

Early in the evening he was talking about how he canceled an “orgasm on command” demonstration he was planning at a party we’re going to Friday. I spoke up, saying that I really think it wouldn’t be a problem him making me come with just a touch and a word – even in front of an audience. He turned towards me on the sofa and said, “Oh really?” His hand caressed my face and he twined his fingers in my hair. “So you think you could come just from my command?” I was twitching a little and breathing heavy by this time and I answered, “Yes, Sir.”

“Then you can come.” The full-body cascade came over me and my left hand shot out and impotently grabbed at his nearest thigh. I was still dressed in my work clothes, and we hadn’t any foreplay whatsoever. Even as he gave me the command a small part of me doubted I could come, but I am so conditioned now that not coming wasn’t an option. Thankfully I didn’t squirt in my work pants (although many of you pervs out there would have loved reading about that!).

A phone call came in for him immediately after, and I caught my breath, stunned, while he spoke on the phone.

Later, after we had both had dinner, bathed and gotten ready for sex, I put on a video from theupperfloor.com. (Thanks again to the person who shared their password with me! Hawt stuff!) He had me plug in the HDMI cable so we could see the porn on the big screen tv. Just watching the goings on of training the house slaves got me so hot. We both loved a scene where Cherry Torn had a knife handle (dinner knife) slid up her ass, and then the magic wand was vibrated against the part sticking out. I thought to myself that it would be super hot for me to disappear to the kitchen and return with a table knife, but something in me prevented me from just doing that. I really need to be more proactive.

He had told me minutes before to get an ass toy that he could use to warm up my ass. Earlier I had pointed out it was a long time since we had anal sex, and he took that under consideration. I returned with an ass toy – silicone, sorta rippled, with a handle to press against the perineum.

With lube and toy in hand he had me get on hands and knees. I leaned against the sofa arm. He worked the toy into my ass and I was moaning before much really started. The idea of him violating my ass was just too, too hot. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on at various times, but fuck, it felt good. He teased me and my whole body tingled with excitement. Satisfied that he had heated me up, we adjourned to the bedroom with the porn.

I’ve been feeling extremely horny and slutty in recent days. I’m sure many of you are saying in disbelief, “Only in recent days?!” Since the feeling of shift I wrote about last week, I’ve felt like some blocks about doing things MasterDoc wants me to do are starting to disappear. (Not all of them sadly, but a few key ones.) On some levels, I live for pleasing him. I’m starting to fantasize about him doing things I formerly thought of as hard limits.

In the bedroom, he told me to get a toy that’s larger than the first one for preparing my ass for fucking. I used a slender, red-sparkle silicone dildo to work my ass and soon I was fucking myself with it like a bitch in heat. He really enjoyed watching this and let me come after a while.

He was ready to fuck my ass himself, and we tried to figure out the best position. Unfortunately this hesitation led to difficulties getting it in (a cock needs to be super hard for anal) so we took a break. (Note to gentlemen of a certain age: As this entry will demonstrate, you can still satisfy and drive a woman wild even if your cock isn’t cooperating. Seriously, as much as I love cock it is not the only thing that will get me off/make me happy.)

He made me come a ton of times via command and molesting my body. He decided that it would help him get hard for me to lick his ass. Normally I’d have been hesitant to get there, but that block I mentioned that seems to have moved? I didn’t really have a problem getting my tongue into his asshole as best I could. I really tried very hard to make him feel good. I’m enjoying more and more feeling like he’s in control and that makes it easier to do things I don’t like to do. By verbal command, he made me come TWICE while I licked his ass. As I started to come the first time I thought to myself, “Damn you!” because of the embarrassment of orgasming while my tongue was on his asshole.

At this point, is there anything this man can’t do to make me come?

During one of our interludes (while I tried to recover from so many orgasms), he declared that everything points to enforced exercise. Fuuuuuck! He’s decided that if I do squats I’m allowed to come when I can. He emphasized that the point wasn’t doing squats until I’m sore and exhausted, just a few until I can manage to come knowing he’s given me permission to come. I cringe at the very idea of coming from exercise. But if anyone can make me do it, he can. We shall see.

We fooled around for two hours or so, and a couple of times he kept making me come long past the point where I thought I could. In my exhaustion, I nearly begged him to stop. Nearly. I’m digging this forced orgasms thing though.

His cock cooperated towards the end of the evening, and he fucked me up the ass. I didn’t hear him give me permission to come so I rode the edge the entire time. It felt pretty damn amazing. (Note to Doms: Please give commands to come loudly and clearly, because if the sub has to ask, “What did you say, Sir?” it decreases the arousal just enough to limit the ensuing orgasm.)

More porn was watched. I fantasized about him pissing in my mouth as he went off to use the bathroom. I started masturbating before he came back. Since it seemed pretty clear we were “done” as far as getting me off, I considered my clit tickling to be masturbation and came at will. He joined me again on the bed, and a few moments later told me to come after I had already started, and I just kept coming and coming. I had squirted even before he gave me the command to come. It’s amazing how fast I can rub my clit when I’m aroused.

He wanted a prostate massage, so I worked his ass over for a while. I was really getting into it. We heard DeeDee come in during this, and MasterDoc decided to delay his orgasm. We said hello to DeeDee, heard about her date, and I voiced a need for cuddles and aftercare.

We cuddled. And just being close to him turns me on so very much. It gives me a helpless feeling, the way I get wildly aroused around him. Soon I was licking his “spot” and realizing that indeed, “spot worship” has become a fetish for me. Yes, I will admit, the middle of his hairy chest turns me on. I talked about how I would love for him to come in my mouth and then I’d play with rubbing his come all over my chest. The fantasy was so strong! It wasn’t in the cards though.

He still wanted to come so he had me help by giving him an ass massage as he jerked off. I tried my best to tune in and notice his reactions. To press firmly against his asshole and perineum in a way that would feel good. My fingers made him twitch for a while after he had shot his load. Even though I was tired by this point, my submissive nature helped me focus and enjoy making him come. Even though there were so many delicious orgasms last night, I wanted to be his endlessly horny slut. I’d certainly stop playing when he asked me to, but I aimed to be eager and ready at all times. Accomplishing this wasn’t too hard.

Is it any wonder I hesitate to try to fuck another guy? Without MasterDoc taking control how can another guy fucking me be anywhere near as hot as when I fuck MasterDoc? But if he told me to fuck a roomful of strangers it would be the hottest thing ever, and I would do it under his watchful eye. I am his slut. There is no denying that.

Piss and Come

Published on November 3, 2010 in anal, bdsm, cunt, D/s, embarrassment, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm on command, piss play, prostate massage, sadism, sex toys, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 3 Comments

I have a new toy to review! Lelo, maker of most of my favorite toys, sent me a Soraya. It’s part of their new Insignia line. It looks like the buttons are less likely to get pushed during critical moments, which has always been my only real complaint about their toys. A formal review will come once I’ve used it more. But the other night I settled down in the playroom at MasterDoc’s with my soraya. I used the vibe on my clit, warmed myself up, applied some lube and used the toy in all sorts of ways. I pressed the nub against my clit while the toy buzzed away inside too. MasterDoc joined me and helped spur me on by talking to me and touching me. I made myself come for a long while, and had to let the toy out to let the squirt out.

I was settling in to help MasterDoc come, when I got a call from my friend Divasub. She was heading over (as I had invited her to do) after coming back from a weekend away. MasterDoc decided that he might as well come out and be social too, and in typical “MasterDoc’s Halfway Home for Wayward Women” fashion, he came out naked. Well she’d seen him naked before. Of course the hard on was perhaps a bit much, but Divasub can take it in stride. The three of us chatted on the sofa. DeeDee wasn’t feeling well so she had gone to bed. During our talk, MasterDoc reached over to stroke my face, grab my hair and gave me the command to come. Fuck. I did come. It was embarrassing despite the fact that I know Divasub is a big pervert too. This was followed by both of them coming up with devious things that could be done to me. (Any suggestions on how I can get back at Divasub for this, let me know. It wasn’t just things I found hot but things I’d hate too – like getting peed on by a bunch of guys after a gang bang. Eww. Some friend!)

Divasub headed home after a bit and MasterDoc was inspired by the conversation to piss on me. He took me into the bathroom and ordered me into the tub. He did the face stroking/hair pulling thing that helps get me in the mood so quickly and told me I could come when I felt his piss hit me. Fuck. I came again, feeling humiliated as his piss ran down my body. I ran out of orgasmic steam before he had finished though, since my orgasm was completely spurred on by thoughts rather than physical stimulation. I got lost in the humiliation sensation which can be hot in and of itself. To drive home his Dominance or play with more humiliation (I’m assuming) he rubbed wet cock on me right after he finished. I showered off.

After my shower I finally got to help him come. I played with his ass while he jerked off – the usual. I felt a chunk of poo in there, and I was glad he agreed to using a toy next. (Poo happens to everyone from time to time.) I slid the Lelo Liv in his lubed up ass and pressed it against his prostate. (They’ve created a new one, the Billy, for ass play – it has a ridge to keep the toy from slipping in which the Liv doesn’t.) As I mentioned before, the vibrator controls got hit and the vibration pattern changed mid-wank. But he decided he likes the different patterns. (I never bother with the patterns. A nice, steady, strong vibration does it for me.)

I had mentioned earlier that I wish he’d come in my mouth more often. He said he’d take it under advisement. When he was ready to come he had me jump around to his front to have him come on my face. (I opened my mouth eagerly but he told me, “No, not in your mouth. On your face.”) He told me to come at the same time, and for the third time that night I came without physical genital stimulation. Some of his come ended up on the throe but some was clinging to my chin. He said I looked cute like that and told me I could clean it off or leave it on as I wished. I used a tissue to clean it off and then cleaned up the toys.

Turning Lemons into Lemonade

Published on September 18, 2010 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, dom, edge play, embarrassment, emotions, humiliation play, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, trust and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

It seems that my love of submission to MasterDoc just continues to deepen. We spent time recently at my place with the intention of “christening” it. (I’ve lived there for nearly a month and hadn’t yet had sex there.) I found that as he teased me with a scary, humiliating act I didn’t want to do, I only wanted him more. The flutter in my stomach that comes from the idea of him humiliating me leads right to my groin and turns me on. I have a fetish for being in someone else’s control. The idea of MasterDoc making me do something that I don’t want to do is hot.

The act itself, however, is not at all hot for me. That is, while I’m wildly turned on by the power he has over me, I’m not so much turned on by the idea of him pissing in my mouth. He has threatened it for a long time now and I could feel that it was coming soon. Very soon.

He teased me mercilessly about pissing in my mouth for this momentous occasion. The thing is it wasn’t teasing and I knew it. Part of me was so turned on by him exerting that kind of control over me. Part of me was terrified as the idea of having piss in my mouth just totally grosses me out. Part of me wanted to go quietly, stoically and be the good sub. But a huge part of me wanted to see if there was some way I could avoid it.

We spent time laying close on my bed. He talked to me about what he planned to do to me and he made me come in what has become the usual way – verbally. I was overwhelmed with humiliation whenever he made me think about what he planned to do (not to mention disgusted). I would do my best to let my mind wander and forget what was coming.

He took me into my bathroom and had me kneel in the tub. He positioned himself so he could pee on me without getting the floor messy. I was so anxious! Thankfully, he got too hard to pee and just had me suck his cock. Then we fucked like he had promised we would do after the piss scene. Earlier in the day he had fucked me silly and this time was the same. His every touch and every thrust feels divine. He spanked me a bit as well.

I rested in his arms after. He continued with the mind fuck of telling me he was going to piss in my mouth. I tried putting it off. I tried anything I could think of to maybe make him not do it – to no avail. And while I was scared and humiliated I was also wildly turned on and in his thrall. Of course, this arousal makes me feel more ashamed because I’m aroused by something disgusting, which only serves to arouse me more. Yes, I’m a sick freak.

He teased me about my trying to put off the inevitable. He decided that until I decided I was ready, he would drink water – lots of water. He guzzled a couple of liters, easily. Eventually it was the moment of truth and he took me back into the bathroom. He had me kneel in the shower again, told me to bend down a little and turn my head so my mouth was right by his unfortunately flaccid cock. He ordered me to turn my head. He ordered me to open my mouth. And as a good sub ever striving to be pleasing, I did. He peed into my mouth.

Now I should have mentioned that all through the teasing, he was also filling my head with the notion that I would enjoy the act, that it would please him, and that I could orgasm when his piss hit my mouth – and wouldn’t that feel good? So I stroked my cunt as he had me line up my face by his cock and while I didn’t want to come from such a disgusting, humiliating act, I had the thought, “If I’m going to have to do this, I might as well enjoy it.” I came. He only pissed in my mouth for a moment and then pissed all over me, all over my back. I could hear him chuckle gleefully as he did this. I was his dirty piss slut who came when he pissed in her mouth.

There wasn’t as strong a taste as I thought, but it was salty and then the terrible after taste – the taste took on the equivalent of the odor that old pee leaves someplace. Yuck. As soon as he was done and told me I could clean up, I turned on the faucet and wiped my tongue with dampened hands to get rid of the taste.

I showered, not quite waiting for the water to get warm enough. After the shower I was freezing and in serious need of aftercare. He cuddled me and I was feeling dazed. He actually did it. I actually let him, well, submitted to him. I actually came. Fuck.

He reminded me that he had promised a fuck after, and told me to set up my Hitachi. He fucked me from behind on my bed and thankfully we had brought my Fascinator throe along. The strong buzzing of the Hitachi against my clit paired with his big cock filling me up led to quite a series of orgasms when he gave me permission. Of course first he had me hold back. I whimpered and moaned as I was on the edge of coming and so very desperate to do so. When I came I squirted all over my hand and the throe. Not just once but a few times. I swear I must have ejected a gallon of liquid. I was totally spent after and could only collapse on the bed.

A friend asked me today if I was traumatized by the act, and I have to admit I’m not. MasterDoc and I packed up after the final fuck as it was getting late, and we walked to his place. I found myself feeling a bit physically ill – but could tell it was psychologically triggered. I asked him for more aftercare as such an intense scene left me needing much more than usual. I think an intense scene can put your body into a state of shock – that’s what it felt like to me. He held me tight on the couch and I let myself relax into his arms and feel soothed.

Strangely, I feel like this was an incredibly intimate and connecting event.

Piss Slut

Published on September 16, 2010 in bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, dom, edge play, embarrassment, humiliation play, hypnosis, kink, orgasm on command, piss play, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I think MasterDoc is enjoying his new found power to make me come pretty much at will. While we were just sitting on the sofa Monday night he played with my hair, teasing me. I melted a bit and he make a sly remark to DeeDee. I turned to look at him and he was beaming, knowing that if he wanted to he could make me come then.

While the night before I was deeply unsettled by his scope of power, the next night I thought it was incredibly hot. I do love to submit, and the way he can just pull orgasms out of me these days is amazing and an intense act of submission for me.

Later, the three of us (MasterDoc, DeeDee and me) adjourned to the play room. MasterDoc had to get us under control as we were joking and pontificating – when we should have been “getting freaky.” DeeDee sucked his cock, while MasterDoc had me lean in close to him, kiss him and he played with my hair. Fuck. He made me come by that bit of intimacy. He made DeeDee come on command was well.

He didn’t touch my cunt and yet gave me whole body orgasms while DeeDee sucked him. It’s a sexy sound to hear a woman gasp with passion (and for air) after taking a cock in deep. She kept at him for even longer than he intended, and he made me come again and again. The next day I spotted some bruises on my upper arm, and I realized that he must have bitten me – but I was too busy coming to notice!

After these many orgasms for DeeDee and I, she collapsed on one side of the bed and I put a blanket over her at MasterDoc’s request. (She needs a lie down and blanket for aftercare.) He leaned over her at some point, nibbling on her, teasing, and I got to watch him make DeeDee come by starting on the first line of “rock a bye baby.” For some unknown reason I hadn’t thought of him planting different triggers to make her come, but of course he has. Mine is “good girl,” hers must be “rock a bye baby.” Who says we’re not playing with erotic hypnotism?

DeeDee asked to be excused and was allowed to leave. She asked if we wanted any water and went off to get some. MasterDoc lay on the bed next to me musing that he needed to go pee. He didn’t give me a knowing look this time, so it came as a surprise when he told me it was time for me to be pissed on.

He sent me into the bathroom, and I sat waiting on the side of the tub. I felt subby, small and liked it. I waited with complete composure and my head bowing down. He came in a couple of minutes later and played with my hair, holding me close to him. He made me come and thankfully he was holding onto me as my body contracted. I felt my legs push against the side of the tub involuntarily and he stood behind me, holding me up.

As I came down from that high, he instructed me to lay down in the bathtub. The tub was cold and he joked about needing to warm me up with his piss. He had me spread my legs and gave the instruction that I could come when he pissed on me. Fuck. I hate that he makes me come like that! He pissed on me for a long time – it always surprises me a little how long he can pee for. He also wanted me to piss myself at the end, but I’m skeptical that I can do right after orgasm. When my pussy is swollen from arousal I have a hard time peeing anyway – and I’m pee shy, so peeing in front of someone is pretty damn difficult.

He told me to rinse off, and I did, feeling shame that I came from him peeing on me and that my pussy was wet and swollen without anyone touching it that evening.

I really needed aftercare after an intense scene that sparks such shame in me. I asked for it as he had joined DeeDee on the sofa while I rinsed off. I’m proud of myself getting much better voicing my needs calmly rather than holding them in or having an outburst. We cuddled in the play room, and with more physical and emotional intimacy generated between us, he made me come again.

MasterDoc’s Puppet

Published on September 15, 2010 in blow jobs, D/s, dom, embarrassment, kink, orgasm on command, prostate massage, sex, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

The sort of connection MasterDoc and I have developed can be startling. We were cuddling before dinner on Sunday, laying on the bed with him spooned up behind me. He started languidly playing with my hair, petting me. Just from these gentle, deliberate touches I slip into subspace and arousal within seconds. And in what was probably no more than a minute or two (perhaps less) he grabbed hold of my hair and told me to come and I did. My whole body tensed and as I came, moaning, he reached down to touch my pussy gently through my panties. It felt like I came for a longer period of time than the build up – but when you’re coming it can be difficult to gauge time.

I was stunned in a way. I mean, it’s not a total surprise as we’ve been working towards this for a very long time, but that evening I felt unsettled knowing the level of control he has over me and my reactions.

He did this again later when we adjourned to the play room after dinner. He made me come again through his expert touch. This is wonderful and a bit novel. Sometimes though, my pussy wants to be touched. Sometimes I want him to be rough with touching me rather than gentle. I don’t mean this to sound like a complaint. He makes me come so hard that I lose control of my body and my thoughts. I writhe and convulse as my brain turns to mush. Considering that some women never have an orgasm, I’m pretty damn lucky.

Now, he’s very generous but it was definitely time for me to make him feel amazing. I sucked his cock at his command. I wanted him to choke me on his cock, but then I hit upon an idea – I could choke myself. I thrust his cock in deep, held it there, and then saliva started flowing as my gag reflex was triggered. This enabled me to give a sloppy, wet blowjob. He was hard in no time, but I was enjoying myself so much I was actually a little disappointed when he told me to get on top and fuck him. (Only a little! Fucking is a wonderful alternative activity.)

I slipped a condom on his rigid cock and straddled him. I rubbed his cock against my pussy for a while, teasing myself a little. Then I slid it in. I love the moment when it fills me and I can feel it throughout my vaginal canal. I rode his cock to phenomenal orgasm. I worried a little in my frenzy about putting too much weight on him, but at many moments I didn’t have the bodily control to hold myself up. I continued to come even after my cunt pushed his cock out with its violent contractions. My cunt continued to throb and I continued to orgasm until I was spent.

After I recovered, feeling thankful to have such an amazing Dom (with an amazing cock – I’ve joked with him that we should make copies of it and sell it as a dildo), he told me he wanted a prostate massage. He lay on his back. I caressed and massaged his buttocks and inner thighs. I lubed up my fingers and started massaging the outside of his anus. I put more lube on and worked my finger inside him. I felt around until I could feel the walnut-like texture of the prostate gland. I massaged it for several minutes – pressing harder when he told me to. He stroked his cock and when he was ready to come it dribbled out onto his tummy. I don’t know if it was because the gland had been massaged, but his come looked a lot like snot. I had been thinking just before he came that it would be hot to lick his come up, but when I saw it I was glad I had held off with that idea!

After he came I worked my finger out slowly, massaging the walls of his anus towards the front and then continuing on the outside up the midline of his perineum, up past his balls and up the shaft of his cock a bit. It gets the last drops of come out of him and judging from his twitches it feels good too.

Cock Hungry

Published on August 29, 2010 in cunnilingus, D/s, DeeDee, embarrassment, humiliation play, masturbation, orgasm on command, sex toys, shio, squirting, threesome and Uncategorized. 4 Comments

The following night, it was me, DeeDee and MasterDoc. DeeDee had had fun on her date the night before (in other words, she got some). I was still longing very much for cock.

MasterDoc had me show DeeDee how I massage his legs and inner thighs to give him pleasure. He stroked his cock as he lay on the bed and we sat on either side of him, stroking his body. We continued this for quite a while and I felt happy to be of service to him. I felt happy to make him feel good. But when he started to look like he was going to come first again, I thought, “Oh no! Not two nights in a row!” Oh yes. I didn’t get cock again. *sigh* (This is the drawback to an older man – longer refractory period after coming. However, he more than makes up for that with his skills and experience.)

We hung out a while, and then he made DeeDee come by rooting in her pussy like a pig (rubbing his nose in her cunt, making pig noises). Yup, it was one of those things that is supremely silly, but at the same time it feels good and makes DeeDee have an embarrassed orgasm. He is really good at making her come hard in unusual and embarrassing ways. (Have I mentioned Mr. Toe? One day he made her come by playing with her cunt with his toe. She was mortified to come that way. We now joke about Mr. Toe all the time.)

I expressed my frustration at not getting penetration another night in a row. I think for once I expressed it calmly and properly because MasterDoc made a point of giving me at least some silicone cock. He had DeeDee round up a set of variously sized dildoes. He started with the thin, red glitter, silicone one I bought with the intention of pegging guys. He moved on to the Fun Factory Curve, a toy I’ve often found to be a little too big for me at least when I’m not warmed up. He made me come as he switched from dildo to dildo. And then he worked Randy into my wet cunt. Randy is big. Really big. I cried out in pain and asked for more lubricant as it stretched my cunt wide. He lubed it up more, then slowly tried working Randy in again. Ultimately, I came with the huge dildo inside me, but it was still a bit painful. Next time I need more lube and more warm up. I think I did squirt a bit, however.

Independence Day

Published on July 6, 2010 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, caning, cunnilingus, D/s, DeeDee, depression, dom, embarrassment, exhibitionism, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Since I wear my depressive episodes on my sleeve anyone who follows my twitter knows I was in bad shape the other day. Thankfully, it has passed and I have some very understanding people in my life who realize that while I become negative and complaining during an episode, it’s not entirely what I’m thinking/feeling so much as just a chemical reaction in my brain.

But some things do get brought up when I’m in that state that are bothering me just below the surface. I gave MasterDoc a hard time about our sex life becoming more and more routine. It can be frustrating when he seems to put effort and creativity into trysts with women he’s not involved with, but not so much with me (or DeeDee). Now granted, even a routine sex life with MasterDoc is pretty hot and satisfying. And one of the wonderful things (I say that a lot, don’t I? There’s many wonderful things.) about MasterDoc is that he will look at criticism and see if it has merit. He acknowledged that there is some truth to my complaints.

After talks, hugs and hanging out, my depression lifted. On Saturday night after MasterDoc made DeeDee come and subsequently conk out, he took me into the other bedroom and went down on me. This is something he doesn’t do often, and we were chatting about that earlier in the day. He dove in and did a fantastic job eating my pussy. He had me moaning and heading towards orgasm in mere moments. As he had me come, he put fingers inside me AND pressed down just above my pubic bone with the other hand while still licking my clit. Holy fucking christ I had an incredible orgasm. Even more incredible than usual. He joked about how he was sorry it was just plain sex and not something creative. I had to laugh because of course it was more than wonderful. I crave more bdsm scenes, but the sex we do have is pretty damn hot.

Sunday night the three of us went out to the swing club. MasterDoc, DeeDee and I seem to be becoming more and more triad-like as time goes on. It’s not unusual for us to show up as a unit to the swing club. The three of us took over the large bed and DeeDee and I took turns sucking MasterDoc’s cock. DeeDee started him off, and I cuddled with him. He decided that in honor of Independence Day we would be allowed to come when we choose to (now granted, we each might decide some teasing is desired, but it was all left up to us). After telling me this, he had me swap places with DeeDee and he told her the same and one or two other things, such as him considering letting us select one guy to fuck.

The swing club was having a private party that night and the host, a friendly (and kinky) guy we know, came in with his new paddle. He told MasterDoc that he was welcome to break the paddle in, and so MD had DeeDee and I get on all fours on the bed, asses in his direction. He alternated paddling us. I hadn’t had a paddling in a while and it definitely suited me. He switched to fingering us at the same time and soon we’re both coming. (Picture, if you will, MasterDoc kneeling on the bed behind us with his right hand in my cunt and his left hand in DeeDee’s cunt.) The party host commented afterward that it was impressive to watch MasterDoc “pussy DJ.” MasterDoc loves the showmanship of sex and he would vary what he did to us to get us to make noise in time with the music. He’d focus on DeeDee, then on me, then both of us so we were moaning in unison. I came quickly and for a long time. These days I forget how fast I’m able to orgasm since I always have to ask permission. It was lovely for a change of pace, but I like the way he teases me so I wouldn’t want it like that all the time.

After a rest and cuddles, he had DeeDee and I give him a dual blow job – she was licking one side, I the other. We both started giggling when her tongue pretty much left his cock and got together with my tongue. I giggled thinking MasterDoc was pushing her head a bit to encourage her – but it turned out he had no idea why we were giggling! DeeDee was more aggressive than usual and it surprised me a bit because I remember back to last year when MasterDoc met her and he told me that she was curious about doing things with women, but didn’t think she would be comfortable kissing one. I was happy to go along with it however, as clearly she was ok with what she was doing.

As DeeDee cuddled against MasterDoc’s back and stroked his ass and back (as far as I could tell), he leaned in to me and we kissed a bit. He touched my body and soon I was on the verge of orgasm. I could feel DeeDee’s hand reach out for my nipple and I enjoyed coming as they played with my body.

We got dressed, got drinks and had a seat in the main area. Coincidentally, the spotlight was on MasterDoc’s cock. This inspired him to have us take turns blowing him and with a hard cock he asked if I wanted to be fucked. Oh yes! He had me bend over the back of the couch and he fucked me. Unfortunately, this didn’t last long as the couch is right against a wall, a very hard wall, and my head kept hitting it despite my best efforts to keep it clear of the wall. We had to find another spot.

We moved to the exhibitionists room just a few steps away (it’s part of the main area, just set off by some very sheer curtains). MasterDoc decided to give me a beating and DeeDee suggested implements from the toy bag to him. My pain tolerance was quite good and he gave me quite a beating. (DeeDee later said she was impressed by what I took.) Since I had permission to come whenever I wanted, I came due to just the beating. The orgasm lasted a while while he kept caning my ass. My ass was quite sore after, but I had had a great time.

I suggested that DeeDee was overdue for an orgasm. He says, “What? She’s due for a beating?” He loves to tease us and make it seem like we’re trying to give the other one trouble. Because she was so enthusiastic about giving him impact toys to use on me, he decided that he should use the same ones on her. I was proactive for once and I lent a hand playing with her clit without his even encouraging me. DeeDee came easily. I got the nea and used that on her clit next. MasterDoc followed through on something he had promised earlier that evening – that he would use my anal beads on her as a tail. He had her suck on the beads to moisten them, and I tried being helpful and held up the bottle of lube, which thankfully he used. So the beads were placed only about half way in, and he told her, “Now, arf!”

“Oh Sir! Please no!” DeeDee moaned with her face buried in her arms (ass in the air). He got her to bark like a dog, much to her humiliation. In order to be able to come again, he made her arf one final time. She did after a few moments as I suppose the desire for orgasm outweighed the humiliation. As MasterDoc played with her cunt, I remembered his admonition for no idle hands – either help play with someone else – or play with yourself. I opted to play with myself and soon I came again as DeeDee did. I squirted this time, and got my dress a little wet. Thankfully it’s warm out so the damp dress wasn’t as uncomfortable as it could have been.

A few people had stopped by to watch as she came while my hand was holding the nea to her clit and MasterDoc was playing with the anal beads. DeeDee was so embarrassed after that she didn’t want to leave the area and face the people who might have been watching her humiliation.

Cane a Piss Slut Day

Published on June 7, 2010 in bdsm, Cane a Slut Day, caning, D/s, DeeDee, dom, edge play, embarrassment, humiliation play, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex toys, slut, spanking, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Yesterday was “Cane a Slut Day.” Haven’t heard of it? It’s just been created this year from an offhand remark that @justonyx made on twitter, and his partner @scarletlotus ran with. I let MasterDoc know as I was sure he’d want to participate.

MasterDoc invited DeeDee and I into the bedroom. He gave her a spanking for holding back from an orgasm he was making her have when I walked in, and even got the cane out. She hates the cane. (I’m the cane slut.) I think DeeDee is struggling with MasterDoc having so very much control – he can make her come with pretty much no warm up, and this can be tough for an independent woman to deal with when getting into submission. (I sometimes bug out over how much control he has over me.) I watched MasterDoc with DeeDee and it was quite arousing seeing him be all dominant. He made her come again and it’s amazing watching a woman in the throes of a really good orgasm.

MasterDoc started talking about pissing on one of us and caning her at the same time. Like many dominants, he has a healthy sense of competition. He wanted his “cane a slut day” contribution to be something above the rest. While DeeDee and I often argue in support of each other, last night the theme was more along the lines of “Do It To Julia!” I found myself saying, “Oh thanks!” sarcastically after she’d sold me down the river. Of course the good thing is that reacting that way (“Do it to her!”) in front of MasterDoc can very well earn you the very thing you’re trying to palm off.

DeeDee asked to be excused and managed to get it granted, but somehow MasterDoc and I ended up in the living room with her shortly after. She started doing some mindfuck to me, and I indignantly (and somewhat jokingly) said, “Hey! I didn’t sign on to get mindfucked by you!” She’s really getting into her switchiness. She kept pushing things along with MasterDoc’s plan to cane and piss on me. At one point, exasperated, I blurted out, “I’m going to hit you!” Not that I would ever really do that. But it’s the sort of impulse you get when frustrated with a friend selling you down the river. However, it was all done in good spirits.

MasterDoc and I retreated to the bedroom, and I cuddled up behind him on the bed. I started stroking his body and getting all hot – touching him now gets me so turned on. I could feel myself grind my pelvis into his ass as I clenched my thighs together to provide some pressure on my aching pussy. He got turned on as well, and he fucked me. While he fucked me, I was fully aware of how minutely he can control my reactions and arousal. He varies speed, depth, etc. to bring me to the edge of orgasm over and over again, but he not only has that power at work but also the fact that I won’t come without his permission. He can torment me into being desperate for orgasm but also keep me from coming for a while. When he told me to come my body instantly convulsed and I could feel my pussy clench around his cock. I was pretty wiped out after the fucking.

We had a little break, but only because he wasn’t ready to piss yet. Yes, the whole caning while being pissed on thing wasn’t just a threat. He guzzled some water in preparation and when he was ready he took me into the bathroom. Thankfully he let me have a toy, and he had me warm myself up while standing in the bathroom. He wanted me ready to come when he put me into the tub. I was going to kneel on a towel to make kneeling on the porcelain more comfortable, but he pointed out that it would be soaked with piss in short order – and it was my towel I was going to use to dry off after all is said and done. I put the towel back.

I knelt in the tub, facing the end of it. The cane came down on my ass for a couple of swats before I felt the warm liquid of his piss. I’m half ashamed to say I came really hard the second he told me to come. I hate, hate, hate admitting it, but him making me do terrible, dirty things is so fucking hot. I really love being his dirty slut. He left me to wash off, and he took the pee dampened cane into DeeDee. He made her suck on it. (Eww!)

He came back into the bathroom while I was drying off from my shower and pointed the damp cane at me. Eek! He poked my lips with the tip a little and I recoiled at it being damp. I couldn’t handle the whole piss near my mouth thing.

He had me wash the cane, and I gave it a thorough rinse. Then, he made me sniff it. I was hesitant because of the pee, but he pointed out that if I cleaned it well it would be fine then, right? Argh!

Back in the bedroom, he held the cane up to my mouth. I was disgusted but surprised that I opened my mouth without a direct command. I knew it was what he wanted. He placed it in my mouth and made me close my lips around it. Eek! I was squicked, but I reminded myself that it was cleaned off. And well, piss is sterile. But, ick.

Misunderstandings Suck

Published on June 3, 2010 in anger, anxiety, D/s, depression, derangement, embarrassment, emotions, musings, neurosis, non-monogamy, poly, sex, sybian, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Even the best relationships have rough patches and misunderstandings. Unfortunately Monday night led to me misunderstanding and getting really upset. Consequently, I spent most of Tuesday upset.

I spent the Monday holiday with MasterDoc, and after we went out to lunch he gave me a sybian ride. I squirted like a sprinkler all over the machine and the floor. Leading up to this, I had laid out nipple clamps, the Hitachi magic wand and my Gigi in the bedroom and gotten started without him. (Hey, I was horny!) He put the clamps on my nipples and led me into the living room where he had set up the sybian. He also grabbed the riding crop to swat my ass while he gave me the ride.

It is delicious how he teases me by varying the speed of the vibration. He tugged on the nipple clamps (one of which didn’t want to stay put) and spanked me with the crop. As I said before, when I came I squirted. I had to clean up the machine and the carpet afterward.

DeeDee was due home that evening, and he made it clear that I would not be the focus of our play that night, and I understood that. DeeDee hadn’t seen him since Friday morning. The three of us hung out watching t.v. for a bit after dinner, and I stumbled upon a Lady Gaga fest on Fuse. When MasterDoc decided it was time to head to the bedroom, I semi-seriously said, “But Gaga is on!” He said that’s fine, I can watch it. Seeing my chance at sex as slipping away, I said, “But this could go on for hours! I don’t have to watch it.” He pointed out that I should enjoy myself and watch for the next half hour or so, until whatever segment was over.

I was a bit inebriated that evening, and I started to wonder if he wanted time alone with DeeDee. In theory there’s nothing wrong with this, but since a threesome had been implied, I felt left out being left in the living room watching Gaga videos (amid many commercials). I somehow in my muddled mind started to think that I was being left out for the whole evening. I debated back and forth – would he really do that? Well as a good sub I should respect that and do my best to enjoy my evening in the living room. But I felt really left out and sad. I felt rejected. I felt like I was being punished for something.

I went to the bathroom at one point and he came to check on me. During our brief conversation I got the impression that he did want me to stay in the living room. But he also said something about coming in. I peeked in the bedroom after I left the loo and they were intensely close and I worried that I’d be barging in. I thought I had misinterpreted him. I went back to the living room.

I lay sadly on the sofa, watching t.v. and clutching the stuffed dog one of his other girlfriends had given him (who I’ve taken a liking to and named Brian after the dog on Family Guy). MasterDoc and DeeDee came out at one point and said they were going to set up the air conditioner in DeeDee’s room. Ok. It’s a good thing because the evening was hot, but I thought to myself (incorrectly), “Well that’s the end of that. No sex for me.”

After the a/c was in, MasterDoc sat on the sofa next to me and reached over to part my legs. He started playing with my cunt and I was confused – was he doing this because I seemed upset at the lack of attention? Was I taking attention away from DeeDee and being a selfish little bitch in a way? Should I enjoy what he was doing and orgasm? The night wasn’t supposed to be about me. I felt guilty for feeling so upset over being left out. He managed to wrench a hard orgasm out of me despite my terrible mindset. I was feeling bewildered.

Now, reading this you know that I had misunderstood. But at the time I didn’t know this, and I was really ruminating over it all. MasterDoc decided to have me join them, and I thought, “Oh hey, maybe I was wrong. Maybe I’ll be included now.” But then I went back to my original theory when it turned out I was invited in to teach DeeDee the touching technique I’ve learned that turns MasterDoc on. And so my inebriated brain thought, “Great, I’m just coming in to improve their sex life.”

I struggled all night to be a “good” submissive and accept things as they came. For a while I did get into touching MasterDoc and I was able to stop feeling depressed and truly enjoy myself. (It is amazing being able to make your Dom twitch from your touch.) I taught DeeDee some of the technique and MasterDoc was a very happy man having us both massage his inner thighs.

DeeDee headed off again (the reason why escapes me) and MasterDoc asked if I wanted to get fucked. I went for it since it had been nearly a week since I had his cock in me, but with all my neuroses hard at work I wasn’t sure I’d enjoy it. He could see I was distressed in some way, checked in with me, and I was worried that he’d go off to DeeDee’s room right after fucking me, leaving me alone without aftercare. He made it clear that I was supposed to enjoy myself and that I would get cuddles after. So I did let go and come hard when he fucked me, but my brain still was chugging along the wrong track.

He slept with DeeDee that night, which I knew about ahead of time. As I lay in bed trying to sleep (I had work in the morning) I could hear DeeDee coming even through the earplugs I wear to bed. This just fueled my distressed mind. I had a hard time falling asleep and was completely miserable.

I spent the next morning filled with angst. I laid into MasterDoc when I ran into him online during the day. Poor guy didn’t know what I was going on about. By this time my insecurity had been thoroughly tapped into and pain and sadness flowed from me. It was a hellish day at work.

But when I got back to MasterDoc’s that evening, he and I talked. I broke down and got a little hysterical after explaining to him that part of expressing myself to me is letting the emotions show (he always tries to get me to talk calmly, without raising my voice). He’s far more rational and thick-skinned than me, so my reactions put him off. I’m very emotional. I’ve worked for years on becoming more rational, and I’ve improved, but sometimes my emotions take over. I expressed how truly painful the incident on Sunday with my toys on the floor had been for me – I know it’s something he wouldn’t have a second thought about. He’s not bothered by things like that. But for me it triggers something deep.

I cried. I was angry. I was sad. I was unfortunately bitchy. I jabbed with words, which I’m unfortunately good at. The feeling that I really need more sex and need to see more people overwhelmed me. I’m not sure that was really the deep-seated issue at hand, but it’s something that came out. He is open to me playing with others, etc. Now I need to get off my ass and meet other potential partners. After the discussion was over, I was left feeling terrible because I had truly made him hurt. He’s not hyper-expressive like I am, but I could see in his eyes that I really hurt him.

I’ve been feeling bad about it since, although I know that you can’t take back words, but you can try to be different going forward. I’m going to focus more on complimenting him and less on criticizing. Really, in so many ways I’m over the moon with him. He really can make me happy. I should de-emphasize the negative and as Louis Armstrong sang, “Acc-cent-choo-ate the positive.” I plan to be with him for a very long time.

When I get an occasional email on Facebook saying what a lucky man MasterDoc is to have me, I think about these times when I’m overemotional, or depressed, and I think that I’m very much the lucky one.

Oops, I Did It Again

Published on May 4, 2010 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, embarrassment, exhibitionism, horny, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex parties, sex toys, sexuality, slut, spanking, submissive and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

It had been nearly a week since we had been together. I wrote some erotica over the weekend that made me stop and masturbate in the middle of writing it. I was so incredibly wet that afternoon. I should write erotica more often as I really enjoyed putting together this last one. Right now my sexual theme seems to be about mental sex more than the physical, so writing out a fantasy can be nearly as fulfilling as doing it. (Nearly. Not quite.) I’m getting better and better at working myself up mentally when I’m thinking about MasterDoc.

I did some of this last night while he went off to use the restroom after we arrived at the club. I watched some porn that I could see from the next room, and I thought about how slutty it was that I wore a perfectly presentable dress out to the club with no panties. I think in a way it’s hotter to be wearing a dress that makes you look like a 1950′s housewife when you’re out slutting around than wearing slutty clothes. Slutty clothes are so predictable. I want to seem like the girl next door whose perverse desires have taken away her inhibitions.

When MasterDoc came back and lay down with me, all it took was a few words and some gentle touches before I was breathing heavy and wanting to come. He threatened me with the scenario of doing a piss scene in public and having other random men piss on me too. He knows that this is something that will set up a struggle within me. I will feel like I’m sick and sorta bad to want something like that, but I do want it and it’s really hot to want to do something that’s just so out there and so wrong. Just by threatening me with these scenes he arouses me tremendously. And that’s where the idea of mental sex comes in. His fucking with my mind can be hotter than just physical stimulation. I’m always glad for the physical to follow and finish off the deal, but foreplay using my brain is just so fucking hot. Being a submissive, for me, is rooted in wanting to be stimulated mentally, in enjoying the way he plays with my brain as much as the way he plays with my cunt.

He toyed with my body a bit. My cunt was quite accessible with just a lift of my dress. I didn’t take the dress off all night despite all that I got up to. I find that I start leaning into him and feeling like I’m being pulled into his center of gravity or something. I can’t get enough of his touch, his voice, his breathing, his skin, his cock. He had me suck his cock for a while, and I got lost in doing it. It was such a turn on to suck his cock, and then again a turn on to think how it must turn him on that I genuinely love sucking his cock.
He had me get out a condom and get on top. After working myself up over the weekend through my story and all the anticipation of seeing him yesterday, I was unfettered by inhibitions. I rode his cock, moaning at how it felt good. He would thrust up into me and I’d get lost in the feelings of arousal. If I started to become aware of my surrounding again, he’d fuck harder and then I’d be lost in the sensation. Sex with him can be so overwhelming that I truly lose track of all that’s around me. But then, blocking out the people watching, who I love having watch, helps me deal with feeling so terribly slutty about wanting to have people watch.

I rode him for quite a while, and finally begged him to let me come. He let me and it was amazing. I rode him furiously until I was spent and we both needed a rest and something to drink. I felt great after. I think he did as well.

After some rest, he had me suck his cock some more. Once hard, he had me get on hands and knees and use a vibrator on myself. (I used the Gigi on my clit.) He paddled my ass a bit and fucked me from behind. I’m not sure how many people were watching as I made a point of turning my head away from the door. His cock stayed hard for what seemed like an eternity. I was senseless from the fucking and eventually had to beg to come again. I was a sweaty mess, hair tangled in my hand, as I came and came, pressing my face into the bed. He kept me coming for so long I wasn’t sure I could physically handle it after a while.

After I had rested a little, he let another guy touch me. I hadn’t seen this guy at all, I had no idea who it was. But being MasterDoc’s slut was such a tremendous turn on for me – it didn’t matter who it was, what mattered was that I was being groped and fingered for his pleasure. The guy fingered me to orgasm while I continued to use the Gigi on my clit. MasterDoc spoke about what a slut I was while he was doing it, and he handed the guy a condom so he could fuck me. Damn. Having a faceless fuck who my Dom picked out was so fucking hot. It got me really worked up and I came some more.

In yet another act of incredible sluttitude, the guy lubed up my ass and put it in, and I figured that MasterDoc surely saw what was going on and was okay with it. And when this guy’s cock entered my ass and it felt a little underlubed, I got off on getting roughly ass fucked by some stranger under my Dom’s control. The funny thing is, afterward he acted surprised that I was fucked up the ass, although this time he did know it was going on. (Remember last time something similar happened?) We had to teach the guy not to put his dick back in my pussy after, however, without changing condoms. (It really is dismaying how little people know about sex, and how things like ass-to-pussy is a no-no.)

I was spent and MasterDoc could tell so he had the guy stop fucking me. I lay there getting my breath back. I wanted to cuddle, but I was truly too tired to shift over a foot or two to reach MasterDoc. Instead, I reached out and played with “the spot” on his chest from afar. He came over to me when I spoke up that I wanted a cuddle, but couldn’t move.

You would think after all this I would be done for the night. But no, I was still horny. MasterDoc fucked me again, this time with him on top. I loved cracking open my eyes to look up into his when I could manage it. I am so hot for him.

We got drinks after the last round (need to rehydrate!) and snacked a bit (fucking makes me hungry). I was still feeling like a horny slut but MasterDoc clearly was ready to go. So I dialed down my horniness and prepared to leave.

At the last minute, a couple of Hasidm came in and MasterDoc mumbled something about how we have to do a show for them before we go. (His ex once said that his ultimate fantasy would be to have sex in Macy’s window. You know, the one in downtown New York City….) He sat on a sofa in the common area, put a pillow on the floor for me, and had me suck his cock for all to see. I really fucking enjoyed it. I realize that this is the sort of thing that gets women shunned from our uptight, puritanical, American society (see what happened recently to sex blogger The Beautiful Kind) – but I am a woman who loves sex. I do fear that being so open about this fact on the blog could result in something like what happened to TBK, but I hope that by being open I can move along society and create more people who realize that being into sex doesn’t make someone dirty, bad, undesirable or less of a worker. Talking about sex doesn’t make me any less of a professional librarian. Having lots of sex doesn’t make me any less of a professional either.