Archive for the 'edge play' Category

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Forced Orgasms

Published on October 17, 2010 in bdsm, cunt, D/s, edge play, masturbation, orgasm on command, trust and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Before my work day from hell yesterday, MasterDoc and I had an amazing time Friday afternoon. With months of exercise behind him now, MasterDoc’s musculature becoming more apparent – his arms more defined, his thighs too. While I don’t generally go for muscular types, I do find the transformation in his body to be very sexy. I like feeling the muscles in his arms, particularly when he’s hovering over me during sex.

When I mentioned this new turn-on to him, he said, “You like it because it means I can toss you around more.” I grew shy and laughed. He was dead on. Not only is my Dom mentally and emotionally strong, he’s becoming physically strong as well. His sexiness has entered a new dimension.

That afternoon, he made me come – repeatedly. There was the mental connection, coupled with the physical contact and him simply saying the word, “Come.” I thought to myself that he must have been trying to make me come til I pass out. He continued the stimulation fingering my pussy. I thought passing out could very well happen because mid-orgasm my breath was held. My body would pause a second to gasp when I really needed air, but his ministrations kept me coming long past what I thought I could handle. I couldn’t stop coming. My tired body would try to wind down but he kept on touching me and I kept on coming.

He did that a few times. One time he grabbed hair, slid his hand to my throat and made me come. He gripped my throat firmly, but not enough to cut off blood or air. It turned me on and scared me at same time. I’m sure he could have made me pass out if he wanted to but he knows my current limits. Part of me thrills to that idea now – the idea of him making me pass out somehow - it used to terrify me. But I know him for much longer now and have developed a deep trust. (Plus his being a physician who could take care of me if something went wrong is a huge factor.)

I love that I’ve found someone who I can express my darkest fantasies to; someone who may call me a “sick girl” but who means it with the utmost affection. I pointed out that he’s the sick boy who likes to dish it out. He agreed.

I lost track of how many times he made me come that afternoon. Each time I was surprised at my luck that I was getting more orgasms wrung out of me. I was amazed at how long he would go on stimulating me and making me come. With his newly muscled arms he finger fucked me good and hard – and for longer than he used to.

He was going to give me sybian ride too. (!) I marveled at my good fortune. I really am lucky. But instead of the ride he made me come manually all over again. No complaints here!

Craving Rough

Published on September 21, 2010 in bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, edge play, humiliation play, kink, libido, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, spanking and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

As MasterDoc took a bath, I surfed kinky porn on the net. I found a couple of rough sex and bondage scenes, including one with a woman in strict bondage being fucked (with delicious dirty talk from the dominant guy) and teased with vibrator. Sign me up! I keep having thoughts of rough sex. I want to struggle, I want to be rendered helpless. I want to be slapped around a bit and told what a dirty whore I am.

As we watched the porn after his bath, MasterDoc had me masturbate and he told me to come like I would masturbating alone. Even when I masturbate, I don’t usually come as soon as I can (unless pressed for time). I teased myself a bit as revving the engine can build the orgasm into something bigger if you give it time. I came when I chose, rubbing my clit furiously.

MasterDoc then fucked me from behind, and I was so aroused that it practically hurt not to come. He complimented me on my self-control, but all I wanted to do was let go that little trigger and come like a maniac. I finally broke down and begged – it came out of my mouth without me thinking about it. He spanked me for begging, and after spoke to me about it. Previously, he had instructed me to do my very best not to beg while his cock is in me. I can ask for orgasm from a toy any time, but if he’s fucking me I’m to take it and accept that if I’m going to come it will be his decision. It takes a lot for him to come from sex, and he says that my begging usually comes right when he’s nearly at the point of coming (thus interrupting the flow and ruining the chances of him coming from that). I told him that I understood, and that yes, we had discussed this before, and yes I was sorry I gave in to my horniness.

He looked me in the eye intently.

“I don’t think you’re going to have any trouble with coming – are you?”

I initially thought this foreboding comment meant that I need to just trust in him and not ever ask… but two seconds later his meaning became apparent when he grabbed me by the hair and said, “Come.” And like the trained little monkey I am I came.

I’m a total bundle of horniness lately, and I felt sad when he was done fucking me for the afternoon. I nursed a quiet hope that we would have more sex later. When the topic came up much later, he sounded surprised that I still wanted more. I explained that while orgasms are always delightful, sometimes if you don’t get your specific craving met then you’re left wanting more anyway.

I patiently waited to see if he’d take me again. He had me get on my knees in front of the couch and suck his cock while he watched football. He surfed the web while he watched the game and I sucked his cock dutifully. Just as my jaw was getting too sore, he told me to stop. I sat on cushions on the floor waiting patiently. He had indicated by now that half-time was gettin’ lucky time.

I played with my phone while sitting on the floor. He said, “I kinda like you sitting there like that.”

“You like knowing that there’s a woman who will sit at your feet awaiting your whim?” Yes, he likes it and to be honest I like it too. I wouldn’t want to do it all the time, but every now and then it’s a lovely symbol of the dynamic we have.

At half-time we went to the play room. I had more porn ready to go but we didn’t end up watching it. Thankfully MasterDoc had an epiphany and he “got” what it was I was craving: roughness. He began by putting his hand at my throat. He pressed a bit on the carotid artery and things grew a little fuzzy – just a little. He told me to come while continuing to choke me gently. (Sometimes you can be rough while being gentle.) He slapped my face, my thighs, my pussy. I couldn’t get enough. My mind races lately with ideas for a scene where I’m manhandled, slapped around, called a whore and many other delightfully awful things. Fucked up the ass maybe. Gagged and bound.

After fulfilling my need for rough, MasterDoc had me lay on my back at the end of bed. He stood over me and slapped my pussy with his cock. As he slid into me I could feel him climb on top of me. Feeling like I’m contained under his body while he fucks me was soothing. I wanted to come, but having learned my lesson earlier in the day, I focused instead on how the fucking felt (without getting too worked up) and that I was his hole to fuck. I can’t recall what he said that finally gave me the opening, but I came out with something I had been thinking, “I hope my pussy feels good, Sir.”

After a while of fucking, he told me to come and my vaginal muscles pushed down, forcing his cock out. This didn’t matter as having him near me and on top of me kept me coming.

Damn I’m lucky.

Turning Lemons into Lemonade

Published on September 18, 2010 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, dom, edge play, embarrassment, emotions, humiliation play, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, trust and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

It seems that my love of submission to MasterDoc just continues to deepen. We spent time recently at my place with the intention of “christening” it. (I’ve lived there for nearly a month and hadn’t yet had sex there.) I found that as he teased me with a scary, humiliating act I didn’t want to do, I only wanted him more. The flutter in my stomach that comes from the idea of him humiliating me leads right to my groin and turns me on. I have a fetish for being in someone else’s control. The idea of MasterDoc making me do something that I don’t want to do is hot.

The act itself, however, is not at all hot for me. That is, while I’m wildly turned on by the power he has over me, I’m not so much turned on by the idea of him pissing in my mouth. He has threatened it for a long time now and I could feel that it was coming soon. Very soon.

He teased me mercilessly about pissing in my mouth for this momentous occasion. The thing is it wasn’t teasing and I knew it. Part of me was so turned on by him exerting that kind of control over me. Part of me was terrified as the idea of having piss in my mouth just totally grosses me out. Part of me wanted to go quietly, stoically and be the good sub. But a huge part of me wanted to see if there was some way I could avoid it.

We spent time laying close on my bed. He talked to me about what he planned to do to me and he made me come in what has become the usual way – verbally. I was overwhelmed with humiliation whenever he made me think about what he planned to do (not to mention disgusted). I would do my best to let my mind wander and forget what was coming.

He took me into my bathroom and had me kneel in the tub. He positioned himself so he could pee on me without getting the floor messy. I was so anxious! Thankfully, he got too hard to pee and just had me suck his cock. Then we fucked like he had promised we would do after the piss scene. Earlier in the day he had fucked me silly and this time was the same. His every touch and every thrust feels divine. He spanked me a bit as well.

I rested in his arms after. He continued with the mind fuck of telling me he was going to piss in my mouth. I tried putting it off. I tried anything I could think of to maybe make him not do it – to no avail. And while I was scared and humiliated I was also wildly turned on and in his thrall. Of course, this arousal makes me feel more ashamed because I’m aroused by something disgusting, which only serves to arouse me more. Yes, I’m a sick freak.

He teased me about my trying to put off the inevitable. He decided that until I decided I was ready, he would drink water – lots of water. He guzzled a couple of liters, easily. Eventually it was the moment of truth and he took me back into the bathroom. He had me kneel in the shower again, told me to bend down a little and turn my head so my mouth was right by his unfortunately flaccid cock. He ordered me to turn my head. He ordered me to open my mouth. And as a good sub ever striving to be pleasing, I did. He peed into my mouth.

Now I should have mentioned that all through the teasing, he was also filling my head with the notion that I would enjoy the act, that it would please him, and that I could orgasm when his piss hit my mouth – and wouldn’t that feel good? So I stroked my cunt as he had me line up my face by his cock and while I didn’t want to come from such a disgusting, humiliating act, I had the thought, “If I’m going to have to do this, I might as well enjoy it.” I came. He only pissed in my mouth for a moment and then pissed all over me, all over my back. I could hear him chuckle gleefully as he did this. I was his dirty piss slut who came when he pissed in her mouth.

There wasn’t as strong a taste as I thought, but it was salty and then the terrible after taste – the taste took on the equivalent of the odor that old pee leaves someplace. Yuck. As soon as he was done and told me I could clean up, I turned on the faucet and wiped my tongue with dampened hands to get rid of the taste.

I showered, not quite waiting for the water to get warm enough. After the shower I was freezing and in serious need of aftercare. He cuddled me and I was feeling dazed. He actually did it. I actually let him, well, submitted to him. I actually came. Fuck.

He reminded me that he had promised a fuck after, and told me to set up my Hitachi. He fucked me from behind on my bed and thankfully we had brought my Fascinator throe along. The strong buzzing of the Hitachi against my clit paired with his big cock filling me up led to quite a series of orgasms when he gave me permission. Of course first he had me hold back. I whimpered and moaned as I was on the edge of coming and so very desperate to do so. When I came I squirted all over my hand and the throe. Not just once but a few times. I swear I must have ejected a gallon of liquid. I was totally spent after and could only collapse on the bed.

A friend asked me today if I was traumatized by the act, and I have to admit I’m not. MasterDoc and I packed up after the final fuck as it was getting late, and we walked to his place. I found myself feeling a bit physically ill – but could tell it was psychologically triggered. I asked him for more aftercare as such an intense scene left me needing much more than usual. I think an intense scene can put your body into a state of shock – that’s what it felt like to me. He held me tight on the couch and I let myself relax into his arms and feel soothed.

Strangely, I feel like this was an incredibly intimate and connecting event.

Piss Slut

Published on September 16, 2010 in bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, dom, edge play, embarrassment, humiliation play, hypnosis, kink, orgasm on command, piss play, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I think MasterDoc is enjoying his new found power to make me come pretty much at will. While we were just sitting on the sofa Monday night he played with my hair, teasing me. I melted a bit and he make a sly remark to DeeDee. I turned to look at him and he was beaming, knowing that if he wanted to he could make me come then.

While the night before I was deeply unsettled by his scope of power, the next night I thought it was incredibly hot. I do love to submit, and the way he can just pull orgasms out of me these days is amazing and an intense act of submission for me.

Later, the three of us (MasterDoc, DeeDee and me) adjourned to the play room. MasterDoc had to get us under control as we were joking and pontificating – when we should have been “getting freaky.” DeeDee sucked his cock, while MasterDoc had me lean in close to him, kiss him and he played with my hair. Fuck. He made me come by that bit of intimacy. He made DeeDee come on command was well.

He didn’t touch my cunt and yet gave me whole body orgasms while DeeDee sucked him. It’s a sexy sound to hear a woman gasp with passion (and for air) after taking a cock in deep. She kept at him for even longer than he intended, and he made me come again and again. The next day I spotted some bruises on my upper arm, and I realized that he must have bitten me – but I was too busy coming to notice!

After these many orgasms for DeeDee and I, she collapsed on one side of the bed and I put a blanket over her at MasterDoc’s request. (She needs a lie down and blanket for aftercare.) He leaned over her at some point, nibbling on her, teasing, and I got to watch him make DeeDee come by starting on the first line of “rock a bye baby.” For some unknown reason I hadn’t thought of him planting different triggers to make her come, but of course he has. Mine is “good girl,” hers must be “rock a bye baby.” Who says we’re not playing with erotic hypnotism?

DeeDee asked to be excused and was allowed to leave. She asked if we wanted any water and went off to get some. MasterDoc lay on the bed next to me musing that he needed to go pee. He didn’t give me a knowing look this time, so it came as a surprise when he told me it was time for me to be pissed on.

He sent me into the bathroom, and I sat waiting on the side of the tub. I felt subby, small and liked it. I waited with complete composure and my head bowing down. He came in a couple of minutes later and played with my hair, holding me close to him. He made me come and thankfully he was holding onto me as my body contracted. I felt my legs push against the side of the tub involuntarily and he stood behind me, holding me up.

As I came down from that high, he instructed me to lay down in the bathtub. The tub was cold and he joked about needing to warm me up with his piss. He had me spread my legs and gave the instruction that I could come when he pissed on me. Fuck. I hate that he makes me come like that! He pissed on me for a long time – it always surprises me a little how long he can pee for. He also wanted me to piss myself at the end, but I’m skeptical that I can do right after orgasm. When my pussy is swollen from arousal I have a hard time peeing anyway – and I’m pee shy, so peeing in front of someone is pretty damn difficult.

He told me to rinse off, and I did, feeling shame that I came from him peeing on me and that my pussy was wet and swollen without anyone touching it that evening.

I really needed aftercare after an intense scene that sparks such shame in me. I asked for it as he had joined DeeDee on the sofa while I rinsed off. I’m proud of myself getting much better voicing my needs calmly rather than holding them in or having an outburst. We cuddled in the play room, and with more physical and emotional intimacy generated between us, he made me come again.

Satisfied Slut

Published on September 7, 2010 in bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, dom, edge play, hypnosis, kink, masochism, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting, submissive, Uncategorized and wartenburg wheel. 0 Comments

In the flurry of activity surrounding my move and setting up house by myself, I’ve been slow to blog about things. Once I’m more settled I should get back to a more regular posting pattern. I also hit a depression earlier lsdy week and it totally killed my libido. Moving is stressful. Parting ways with someone you think the world of but didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with anymore is stressful. My depression put a strain on my relationship with MasterDoc, but to his credit he looks past the obvious endogenous depression hyperbole my complaints take on during such a period and he acknowledges the kernel of truth behind them. I love that we work on things when either of us is not perfect – which of course is all the time! I need to learn to soften my words when I’m upset so I don’t hurt him. He needs to understand that a time of great stress in my life is not a time to push me to be self-reliant.

As the depression lifted we could have good talks about these things and I’m feeling very happy about our relationship again. My libido started to return, but my head was still in a space of feeling undesirable and taken for granted. He listened well this time when I said what I needed, and Friday night we had some time alone in the playroom.

Lots of cuddles were in order, but also some cock sucking. He touched me a lot and his touch was very healing. I crave physical contact sometimes, I think it comes from a having family who were always very withholding with physical affection. My memories of Friday night are a bit fuzzy. I think the orgasms erased all around them, and I just remember coming so very hard. He grabbed hold of my hair many times and this feeling of him having control over me was absolutely soothing. Being submissive can be a release. I can let go of my rambling thoughts plaguing me with things I need to get done. In that period of time I am just his.

He had me ride his cock and he worked hard thrusting up into me. For some reason I felt a bit sore when he plunged deep, but in the mindset I had that evening, the little bit of pain was delicious and arousing. He grabbed a tight hold of me and made me come until I was laying on him like a wet noodle.

Earlier that night as we discussed how well he can make me come now by just telling me to, he said that from now on, when he says, “Good girl” I am supposed to come.

The following evening as he caressed me and brought me into subspace with just some gentle touching he said, “Good girl.” The first time he said it it didn’t register with me. I didn’t immediately remember his directive from the night before. He said it again, however, and as my mind registered the meaning of the phrase I started to come. Something in me fought it, but the orgasm won. It can be disconcerting at times how well he can control me with just his mind. “No!” a part of me said, “He can’t possibly make me orgasm just by telling me ‘good girl’!” But indeed he can.

He got the canes out after this and he tapped on my clit with the cane tip. He slapped my pussy. He lightly caned my inner thighs. That night I was craving roughness. I expressed this to him and he took me up on it – not necessarily in the ways I envisioned, but then he wouldn’t be in control if he did everything just as I want it. He looked at me evilly as he picked up the clover clamps and the Wartenburg wheel. My nipples would have recoiled if they could, but thankfully he wasn’t heading for my nipples. He placed one clamp on my right outer labia. The pain from the pressure was intense but I breathed through the pain as he told me to do. He attached the other clamp to my other labia and the pain was something else. But you know you’re a masochist when you think, “Oh my god that hurts. Oh my got that hurts. Holy shit, I want to come.”

He told me to come and despite, or perhaps because of, the pain on my labia I came hard. He ran the pinwheel over my skin as I came and the sensations were so very stimulating. Mid-orgasm, no pain existed. The orgasm was all that existed for me. As I came down, the pain resumed and he took the clamps off. More pain shot through my labia as the blood rushed back to those previously clamped spots. He tapped on my sore lips a bit, making me quiver.

I lay there a moment recovering and discussing with him how odd it feels to be so turned on by him hurting me. It goes along with the dominance aspect – he has such control over me that he can make me hurt if he wishes to.

He had me lay at the end of the bed with my head hanging over it. It was an experiment as we weren’t sure I could take a cock deep in my mouth from that angle. But jeez it was amazing. At times his balls fell over my nose and made it hard to breathe, but I simply held them out of the way gently. When I’d start to really gag on his cock I’d feel a slight bit of panic, but then he’d take his cock out for a moment and instantly I was ready to go again. The roughness, the using me, made me so hot. I possibly could have come from that alone He grabbed my tits as he slid his cock into my mouth from above.

After a rest, he had me present my ass to him, and he lubed up and inserted by medium Njoy pure plug.

He teased me, and I had a hard time figuring out what exactly was penetrating my cunt. He had me move to the end of the bed so he could fuck me from behind – and he was so very kind as to give me the Hitachi to use. The sensation of my vibrating clit, paired with feeling completely filled up by his cock and the butt plug, threw me headlong to the edge. He told me to come and I had over the top orgasms for what seemed like several minutes. I did not want to stop. Everything around me was blotted out and only my orgasms existed. It was like having a mental version of tunnel vision. I squirted much more than usual – I could feel a gush from my cunt and the fluid run over my hand holding the Hitachi. I gushed again as he continued to make me come and it was truly amazing. I must have squirted twice as much as I would usually squirt (when I squirt).

I wish I could convey the mental intimacy that goes along with our sex. It definitely enhances the sex tenfold but it’s one of those things that is particular to the two people involved.

He had me keep the butt plug in and I got up for a snack. Unfortunately with the lube and the smoothness (and the weight) of the plug it started to slip out while I was fixing a snack in the kitchen. I hope no one was looking out their window across from us as the blinds were soaking in the tub and his neighbors could have easily seen me reach back and slide the plug back in. He let me take it out a little later because I had to walk all sorts of clenched in order to keep it in.

I was satiated and tired. I’m pretty sure I slept soundly that night.

The Science Fiction T-Shirt and Squirting

Published on July 15, 2010 in anxiety, D/s, edge play, horny, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

MasterDoc and I adjourned to the bedroom. DeeDee had an important email to attend to, so she went off to handle that. MasterDoc selected the porn for a change – he does from time to time but he expects me and DeeDee to have porn selected from one of the various free porn sites ahead of time. He selected some German piss porn. Ack. It’s funny because the opening scene was innocuous enough. I joked that this is worse than porn with a storyline usually is – it was porn with a storyline in German! I had no idea what they were saying. So when the guy goes up to the woman behind the desk in the office, I was surprised (is dismayed a better word perhaps?) that he takes out his dick and starts pissing on her. She acted like it was just the hottest thing ever and I felt so grossed out. MasterDoc wants that to be me someday, but ack, I find piss play gross.

He had me use my nea to warm myself up, but whenever I looked at the porn (which included pissing in mouths – both him pissing in her mouth and the reverse) I felt distinctly turned off. He came over to sit next to me and sucked on a nipple a bit. I complained that the porn was turning me off. That I don’t get how anyone could find piss erotic. He said it has to do with the humiliation of it – but the woman in the video didn’t seem at all humiliated. She seemed happy. I ended up closing my eyes or looking away so I could become aroused as the nea buzzed on my clit.

I glanced over at the porn and saw the woman giving the guy a blow job. I watched tentatively, afraid that he would start pissing in her mouth. Indeed, he did. MasterDoc pointed out that that’s coming soon between us, and I got more squicked and anxious than usual – probably because I know his doing this to me is imminent. He suggested that I could welcome him home after his trip this week by having him piss in my mouth. (Yuck!) I’m truly freaked out by this. Yucky, yucky, yucky!

He fucked me from behind and I had the damndest time getting fully aroused as I kept having anxious thoughts about the piss play. I did manage to block it out and come at his command. The throe was in the laundry, so MasterDoc grabbed his nearby Science Fiction Museum t-shirt and put it under me as I started to squirt. It absorbed most of the squirting. He says now whenever he wears that t-shirt he will think of my pussy. I point out that this is appropriate as I bought it for him while I was in Seattle. “You should put that on the blog!” he said, “Now when people see a guy with a Science Fiction Museum t-shirt they’ll wonder, “Could that be MasterDoc?” (And as I write this, I wonder if Coy Pink will get a giggle as she was there with me when I bought that shirt.)

Next he selected porn that I like, something that we’ve watched but as usual I only saw a bit of it since I got distracted by orgasms. I loved the parts with her choking on cock. I keep hoping MasterDoc will do more of that with me. It seems lately that I want things rougher than he does, or rougher than he feels comfortable or turned on giving. I don’t know. I pressed up against him and watched the porn too. I was slid up a bit high on the bed to play with his ass, but I stroked his hair and his back. I started getting really worked up and I breathed heavily into his ear. While helping him come usually involves me being really hands on, this time I slid a hand between my legs and played with myself while rubbing my body against him and moaning in his ear. This worked – he came and shot a load all over the bed. I could have come at the same time, had he given permission, but he didn’t realize that until it was just slightly too late. We cuddled for a bit, and he went off looking for DeeDee. (She had been expected to join us, but her tummy was upset so she wasn’t in the mood.)

I lay in bed, still horny, still having gotten up to an orgasm but not completed it. I realized that I have two times per week when I can masturbate, and dammit, I decided to do that. I pulled on my nipples and slid a hand down to my cunt. I added some lube as too much friction is no fun (for me). I rubbed my clit furiously with my right hand, and then held the top of my labia apart with the other hand to get at the clit better. I teased myself a little bit, especially since I had a small hope MasterDoc would walk in on me. I made myself come, squirting a bit on the towel we had put down over my previous squirting. It was such a relief to come! I continued on a bit, then went to join DeeDee and MasterDoc in the living room.

A little later, I mentioned to MasterDoc what I did – and he said, “Wow, that’s hot! For that you get an extra round of masturbation this week while I’m gone.” Yipee!

The Beast with Three Backs

Published on June 20, 2010 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, D/s, DeeDee, dom, dp, edge play, exhibitionism, flogging, kink, masochism, masturbation, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, slut, spanking, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

What a busy weekend! What a busy Saturday! Late Saturday afternoon, MasterDoc had a guy over for a show. This guy replied to MasterDoc’s ad for a bdsm lesson since his girlfriend is interested in being sub. He asked intelligent questions and knew more than many people who come by for a lesson. DeeDee led him in in her maid outfit. MasterDoc and I came into living room shortly after and sat and talked with him. After feeling out what the guest knew and was interested in, MasterDoc had me get a pillow and get on my knees. I blew MasterDoc while he continued to talk to the guest. Sometimes I feel shy when being a slut like this. I think – “Wow, so many people would think negatively for me being such a slut. I have a fantastic time doing it however.” I guess the taboo of it is part of the hotness.

I got to listen to MasterDoc giving out all his domly secrets. Ha ha. He mentioned doing things I didn’t realize he did deliberately. I often don’t realize how intentional his behavior is. The guest brought up breathplay and feeling uncomfortable doing it, and MasterDoc took the time to explain the very real risks inherent in breathplay. I think if you’re going to do edge play, you need to know the real risks before you can decide to assume those risks. As a doctor, MasterDoc understands what can go wrong and why it would go wrong. (If you’re putting pressure on the trachea to block breathing, it’s too easy to break the trachea with just a little pressure. If you’re pressing the carotid arteries to deprive the brain of oxygen, you can cause brain damage potentially if done for too long or too often. And in older subs, you can possibly cause a stroke.) After the informative lecture, MasterDoc made me come on the couch with my Nea. Despite feeling a little embarrassed having my legs spread in front of a stranger, I got so hot that my whole body was rocked with the orgasm. If you’re feeling anxious about having an audience the best thing to do is close your eyes and focus on the erotic sensations. Soon you won’t care if anyone’s watching. (By the way, DeeDee recently bought herself a Nea since she loved mine so much. Hers is black and mine is rose, so we will always be able to tell whose is whose.)

MasterDoc fetched DeeDee from her room and spanked her well, all while explaining flogger use. Her ass was delightfully pink in short order. I suddenly felt hungry and asked permission to go get a snack. Permission granted, I wandered off to the kitchen. I’m not entirely sure what went on in those few minutes I was in the kitchen. When I came back, DeeDee was sucking MasterDoc’s cock and he had me come in for a cuddle. I stroked his leg and his chest trying to enhance the blow job. It really is fun and amazing to make him feel so good. He had me switch with DeeDee and I enthusiastically sucked his cock for a while. The more I get into it, the more he seems distracted by how good it feels.

MasterDoc fucked DeeDee and had me accessorize by playing with his ass. He explained how to teasingly fuck and get a woman totally worked up before giving permission to come. MasterDoc really should write a book on being a Dom.

DeeDee lay on the mat and recovered from her orgasms while MasterDoc talked some more with the guest. Needleplay came up somehow, and MasterDoc suggested I get some needles out. There was a moment where it seemed like we couldn’t do it – MasterDoc said he’d get alcohol wipes but he forgot. Then I came up with the brilliant idea that we could use the hand sanitizer I had in my purse. Ingenuity for the win!

He prepped my ass cheek with the hand sanitizer, and then slid a needle firmly into an ass cheek. I cried out – it feels like he’s inserting the needles deeper now than he had before – more into the muscle and not as much on the surface. It’s one of those things where in mid-pierce I think, “Why the hell do I want this? This fucking hurts!” But a moment later the pain has subsided and I’m flying high on endorphins. He did another needle alongside the first.

We were all pretty worn out by that time, and MasterDoc showed our guest the door. I think he went away with a lot of useful information.

While we rested after, I started talking with DeeDee and somehow vivid memories of the role playing I did with my first boyfriend came to mind. We would play all sorts of parts – one of us the chauffeur driving my car, while the other was the wealthy boss who seduces the chauffeur. We’d pretend to be strangers picking each other up at a bar for casual sex (something neither of us had done). We pretended one person was totally naive about sex and the other initiated them into it. Getting into the headspace of being another person can be so hot. I’m craving some role play these days.

Now that I’ve started understanding age play a little, I would love to play the part of young girl being taken care of by the responsible older adult. (I indulged this fantasy in my head as I played a game on my phone while lying on the mat in the living room when MasterDoc and DeeDee went off to prepare dinner. I let myself feel the comfort of being a kid playing in the living room while dinner is made for me by two kind adults.) I would also love to play the part of a kidnapped woman. (I don’t need a realistic set up of being abducted on the street – just role playing is adequate for me. I have a vivid imagination.) Or a whore. Or someone being forcefully taken – I really like that one, a scene of consensual non-consent. The possibilities are endless. I hope MasterDoc is up for this at some point.

Later in the evening, MasterDoc spoke with our friend V online while I played more games on my phone. Before I knew it, he was having her come over to double-penetrate me. I thought at first that he meant “someday” but he meant she was getting in her car and on her way!

I took a bit of a nap because I was tired and about an hour later I woke and V was here. She had brought her medium and large silicone cocks and I chose the smaller one since she was taking the ass. (MasterDoc’s cock was going in the pussy.)
Now, I had never been successfully dp’ed before. We all warmed ourselves up with toys and what not – MasterDoc stood at the end of the bed watching us saying, “Pretend I’m a perv.”

“Pretend!” I exclaimed.

My knees were worn out, so MasterDoc had me lay on my stomach as V warmed up my ass. She lubed me up well and worked her girl cock into me. After I was stretched out adequately, MasterDoc had me get on top of his cock. V tried to penetrate me from behind after his cock was in, but getting the angle while she was strapped on proved to be impossible (for more than a second anyway). I got enough of a taste to know that feeling so filled up was a major turn on.

V unstrapped her cock, and she and MasterDoc dp’ed me that way. Holy fuck. He told me I could come as soon as she got the dildo in my ass and come I did. Harder than I would have even thought possible. I kept coming and coming and coming until they stopped the stimulation. I could not help myself from coming. I had sometimes worried that being dp’ed would be too “stuffed” but the feeling of being filled like that was fucking amazing. Hopefully someday I can manage a dp with two bio cocks.

My knees were fatigued beyond belief so MasterDoc came up with the idea to fuck me on top, while V fucked his ass with a dildo. Wow. I thought this was so hot. I just kept imagining the dildo up his ass and how good that feels and the fact that his cock was also inside me. I love that MasterDoc is not a homophobe and can, as a straight man, enjoy anal penetration.

We made sure that V had the chance to come before heading home – I ran the magic wand on her. After, I went off to get water and when I walked back in the bedroom, MasterDoc was fucking V. I took the opportunity to help out and started playing with his ass. As I worked a finger in his ass (already lubed from before), I realized that my finger was facing the wrong way – towards his back. I rotated it around and started massaging his prostate. This went over very, very well with MasterDoc. I knelt on the floor (he was standing at the end of the bed fucking V) and played with his ass while he fucked her. It’s not easy to do, but I could manage it for a while.

All in all, yesterday was a really active, hot day. I am so fortunate to have so much fun with MasterDoc, DeeDee and V.

Flirtation and Flogging

Published on June 20, 2010 in attraction, bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, caning, D/s, DeeDee, edge play, exhibitionism, flogging, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, slut, spanking, submissive, sybian and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I had a fabulous time Friday night! I don’t often name specific clubs or parties here, but Sir Magnus Romello’s bdsm parties (Avant Garde Loft) are ones to watch! They have really taken off. Look them up on fetlife.

I was a little more confident and I flirted with one of Sir Magnus’ submissives pretty blatantly. (I will call her Sofija here. She is Serbian so I picked out a Serbian name for her courtesy of a google search.) I had emailed her after meeting last time and we were maybe going to meet up for coffee. (But her Sir insisted she catch up on sleep while on that break from work. Fair enough.) Hitting on her was easier due to getting a clear vibe that she is interested too. But can you see it? Me – the Queen of the Lesbian Sheep Dance – I was forward. No joke.

I was more social this time around. Initially I thought Sofija didn’t remember me which bummed me out, but it was really down to dim lighting, my new bangs, and her being a little tipsy – she didn’t recognize me at first but then she was happy to see me. When MasterDoc saw my opportunity to chat with her, he pulled DeeDee away to walk around and left me talking with Sofija and her friend. Sofija invited me to come along with them when they went elsewhere in the club and I followed. We joked around with Sofija’s strap on and I was feeling pretty confident and good. Her friend for the evening was visiting from the south and she was a young (18 or 19 years old), gorgeous woman. (Tall, slim, pretty – and yet in conversation with her later that night it turns out she doesn’t realize how gorgeous she is. I hate how women are taught to feel insecure in our society.) I was thrilled when the younger woman had trouble believing that Sofija is in her early thirties and me in my late thirties. She said, “Everyone looks younger up here!”

The social period went on, I got side tracked from following Sofija and friend by running into DeeDee who was talking with a fem Domme. People are really quite friendly for the most part at these parties. I can see myself going regularly and getting to be friendly with some people. (Unlike when I wrote about another New York party on here that I didn’t enjoy as much.)

I was thrilled when MasterDoc started setting things up to flog me. He and DeeDee put my wrists in cuffs and attached me to a low St. Andrew’s cross. MasterDoc flogged me – first with the little flogger, then interrupted to spank me with his hands, and then the big flogger. He struck both my ass and my upper back. He was pretty intense with the hits and he even worked in the cane a few times. I cried out as loud as I could to be heard over the music. I checked in with him at one point to make sure he could hear me crying out. He said simply, “Yes,” and went back to work. Ok, then. As long as he was aware at how much pain he was causing, I was okay with that.

He teased me with a vibe, but the difficult thing is when you’re reaching around a woman from the back, it’s much harder to find her clit than from the front. He teased me a whole lot, mostly not on quite the right spot. He told me I could come ad-lib and as I started coming he pulled the toy away. Fuck. Orgasm interruptus. (He could hear cries of pain over the music but not the more subtle sounds of impending orgasm.) He had DeeDee help out with using the toy while he flogged me but bless her heart she’s still learning and couldn’t get the vibe on the right spot. I started laughing because the situation was kinda funny to me – I’m being teased but in such a way that the stimulation is not enough to get me anywhere near getting off. With my hands bound, I couldn’t show DeeDee where to put the vibe exactly. MasterDoc took over the toy again, and I was nearly – nearly! – to orgasm but my knees gave out. They started doing this popping thing and I couldn’t hold myself up any more. I need to get in shape.

I was so frustrated at not really coming, but my body was exhausted. I sat and rested for a while and then MasterDoc decided to give me the first sybian ride of the evening. It was wonderful to finally come! I screamed as I came. MasterDoc kept me coming over and over and over again. He pushed me past what I thought I could handle. DeeDee spanked me a bit and then she pressed against me and could feel the vibrations through my body. MasterDoc told her she could come as well, and she came pressed into me – which made me come harder.

I was exhausted after. Yes, even more so than before. I lay down on the mat next to the sybian for a while. MasterDoc chatted with DeeDee while I lay there, and at one point he started using me as a foot rest. Kinky perv that I am, I thought that was hot. Sometimes I really, really get into being submissive. After I had enough energy to sit up, I sat on the mat by his feet and hugged his leg. I do enjoy being the worshipful sub sometimes.

MasterDoc gave other sybian rides, of course. One of Sofija’s “sisters” (in her leather family) held the young Southern woman as she rode for her first time. MasterDoc sat off the to the side, watching her reactions and manning the controls. Sofija sat nearby and I initiated a little flirting. We held hands for a brief few moments. I was bold and started gently touching her skin, but she mentioned that her Sir said he didn’t want anyone touching her that night without his permission. I respected that of course and figured that perhaps some other time…. (Yes, I felt too shy to go ask her Dom. I mean, the guy’s a Dom, lil’ ol’ me can be intimidated even though he’s always been nice.)

MasterDoc told me a little later that he had spoken to Sir M a while ago and asked permission for me to hook up with Sofija. (!) And I was interested enough and forward enough tell her this straight out next opportunity I got. She wanted to ask her Sir to confirm and I agreed wholeheartedly, saying I didn’t know if the permission applied that night or not. She apparently got in trouble for something when she went over to him, and she was busy watching her sisters the rest of the evening. (I don’t get the sense that she got in trouble over me. She wrote me an email the next day saying she hopes she gets to spend more time with me in the future. *happy dance*)

There were some hot scenes going on. While DeeDee recovered from her sybian ride (I helped by massaging her ass and inner thighs while she came.) I asked permission to wander off and I got to see one couple doing fire play. It was fascinating. Right next to them there was a suspension going on – something I’ve never experienced either. Sir M was giving a flogging to a lass who wiggled so sexily. I saw her later with another Dom and he flogged her front while she writhed sexily again. I made a point of telling her how hot it was to watch her on the way out. She looked like an average woman, someone who would not necessarily be aware of her allure. (She looked like a nice Jewish girl. Not someone you’d assume to be a perv. You know, like most of us pervs – normal-looking!) She seemed really appreciative that I mentioned she was hot to watch.

I enjoyed watching some fem Dommes – especially with masculine male subs. Sissy male subs don’t do it for me. (Nothing wrong with others’ kinks, it’s just one that doesn’t do it for me. The adult baby there didn’t do it for me either. But I have gradually come to see that some age play can be fun. I don’t feel the need to regress to infancy myself.) I thought about how men are expected to be dominant sexually in our culture and the relief a submissive man must feel when he hooks up with a dominant woman for the first time. He can be himself. He doesn’t have to be in charge. It’s a wonderful thing that kinksters can find each other and bring so much pleasure. Other parties I’ve been to have often been male Dom/female sub heavy, but this party had many fem Dommes, sub men, switchy people. We saw two guys play – something you don’t see often. Even hopelessly straight MasterDoc thought it was cool that a male couple would feel comfortable enough to play. He may not be turned on by it, but he’s supportive of people enjoying the sexuality that turns them on.

Cane a Piss Slut Day

Published on June 7, 2010 in bdsm, Cane a Slut Day, caning, D/s, DeeDee, dom, edge play, embarrassment, humiliation play, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex toys, slut, spanking, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Yesterday was “Cane a Slut Day.” Haven’t heard of it? It’s just been created this year from an offhand remark that @justonyx made on twitter, and his partner @scarletlotus ran with. I let MasterDoc know as I was sure he’d want to participate.

MasterDoc invited DeeDee and I into the bedroom. He gave her a spanking for holding back from an orgasm he was making her have when I walked in, and even got the cane out. She hates the cane. (I’m the cane slut.) I think DeeDee is struggling with MasterDoc having so very much control – he can make her come with pretty much no warm up, and this can be tough for an independent woman to deal with when getting into submission. (I sometimes bug out over how much control he has over me.) I watched MasterDoc with DeeDee and it was quite arousing seeing him be all dominant. He made her come again and it’s amazing watching a woman in the throes of a really good orgasm.

MasterDoc started talking about pissing on one of us and caning her at the same time. Like many dominants, he has a healthy sense of competition. He wanted his “cane a slut day” contribution to be something above the rest. While DeeDee and I often argue in support of each other, last night the theme was more along the lines of “Do It To Julia!” I found myself saying, “Oh thanks!” sarcastically after she’d sold me down the river. Of course the good thing is that reacting that way (“Do it to her!”) in front of MasterDoc can very well earn you the very thing you’re trying to palm off.

DeeDee asked to be excused and managed to get it granted, but somehow MasterDoc and I ended up in the living room with her shortly after. She started doing some mindfuck to me, and I indignantly (and somewhat jokingly) said, “Hey! I didn’t sign on to get mindfucked by you!” She’s really getting into her switchiness. She kept pushing things along with MasterDoc’s plan to cane and piss on me. At one point, exasperated, I blurted out, “I’m going to hit you!” Not that I would ever really do that. But it’s the sort of impulse you get when frustrated with a friend selling you down the river. However, it was all done in good spirits.

MasterDoc and I retreated to the bedroom, and I cuddled up behind him on the bed. I started stroking his body and getting all hot – touching him now gets me so turned on. I could feel myself grind my pelvis into his ass as I clenched my thighs together to provide some pressure on my aching pussy. He got turned on as well, and he fucked me. While he fucked me, I was fully aware of how minutely he can control my reactions and arousal. He varies speed, depth, etc. to bring me to the edge of orgasm over and over again, but he not only has that power at work but also the fact that I won’t come without his permission. He can torment me into being desperate for orgasm but also keep me from coming for a while. When he told me to come my body instantly convulsed and I could feel my pussy clench around his cock. I was pretty wiped out after the fucking.

We had a little break, but only because he wasn’t ready to piss yet. Yes, the whole caning while being pissed on thing wasn’t just a threat. He guzzled some water in preparation and when he was ready he took me into the bathroom. Thankfully he let me have a toy, and he had me warm myself up while standing in the bathroom. He wanted me ready to come when he put me into the tub. I was going to kneel on a towel to make kneeling on the porcelain more comfortable, but he pointed out that it would be soaked with piss in short order – and it was my towel I was going to use to dry off after all is said and done. I put the towel back.

I knelt in the tub, facing the end of it. The cane came down on my ass for a couple of swats before I felt the warm liquid of his piss. I’m half ashamed to say I came really hard the second he told me to come. I hate, hate, hate admitting it, but him making me do terrible, dirty things is so fucking hot. I really love being his dirty slut. He left me to wash off, and he took the pee dampened cane into DeeDee. He made her suck on it. (Eww!)

He came back into the bathroom while I was drying off from my shower and pointed the damp cane at me. Eek! He poked my lips with the tip a little and I recoiled at it being damp. I couldn’t handle the whole piss near my mouth thing.

He had me wash the cane, and I gave it a thorough rinse. Then, he made me sniff it. I was hesitant because of the pee, but he pointed out that if I cleaned it well it would be fine then, right? Argh!

Back in the bedroom, he held the cane up to my mouth. I was disgusted but surprised that I opened my mouth without a direct command. I knew it was what he wanted. He placed it in my mouth and made me close my lips around it. Eek! I was squicked, but I reminded myself that it was cleaned off. And well, piss is sterile. But, ick.

Bruises – and Female Premature Ejaculation*

Published on May 20, 2010 in bdsm, caning, cunt, D/s, dom, edge play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 3 Comments

See the dark line right on my butt at the bottom edge of the photo? Major cane stripe. My butt still hurts over 24 hours later. As if there was any doubt, I'm a masochist and MasterDoc is a sadist.

It had been a while since I had a beating. I felt like I needed one and made sure to tweet about it. I’ll bet MasterDoc was already planning one, however, as he commented recently that I hadn’t had one in a while AND that I needed one. (The latter part said after I made some smart ass remark, I’m sure.)

He saw our friend V. the other morning. She doesn’t have anyone else to give her proper (and well-done) beatings, so MasterDoc gladly obliged. He intended to see if I could handle the same beating as V., however part way through he realized that he didn’t get to fuck V. and he sure as hell was going to take the chance while beating me.

He had me put on the blindfold, and I wasn’t able to see what implements he was getting out. He started with the small flogger, which I can recognize by the sting. He warmed up my ass and interspersed some hard hand slaps as well.

He used the large flogger on my ass and upper back – and even had me sit up straight briefly for some serious upper back flogging.

He moved on to the wooden paddle – I think that is one of my least favorite impact toys. It’s flat and unyielding, and therefore hurts like a motherfucker. My body would contract instinctively in an attempt to move my ass away from the blows. MasterDoc pays close attention to the noises I make and my bodily reactions and varies his beating accordingly. You can’t (or, at least, shouldn’t) beat your sub relentlessly hard. Unless they’re into that of course. But a beating that starts light and increases in intensity and then varies intensity according to how the sub is processing the pain is ideal.

He switched to the canes. While the pain is more concentrated than the paddle, I usually find it easier to bear as it covers a small amount of flesh at a time. I can imagine that marks were starting to come out on my ass at this point. MasterDoc decided to get in some fucking and had me move to the end of the bed. He stood behind me and slapped my ass with his cock. He lubed me up (surprisingly the beating hadn’t lubed me up quite enough) and slid his cock in. It was yummy getting fucked, and he did it slowly. Leisurely. He varied the intensity so that he’d keep teasing me. He’d bring me to the edge of orgasm and then slow down. He’d later thrust in deeply to hear me moan. I wondered if he was going to come again, but I just kept focusing on being fucked by his delicious cock. He spanked, paddled, caned me from time to time.

With the blindfold on I was in darkness and my focus was entirely on the sensations. He told me to come, and as I did he kept his cock inside for long time by thrusting in deeply. Unfortunately, I eventually had “female premature ejaculation”* and my vagina of steel pushed his cock out before his orgasm. He slapped my pussy and I started to squirt. Unfortunately I wasn’t on top of the throe and he had to have me scoot forward on the bed so I didn’t soak the sheets.
After I recovered for a few moments, he handed me the Hitachi magic wand and caned me some more. The feeling of the vibe on my clit brought me to the edge of orgasm again. And the cane strikes didn’t hurt as much as before but pushed me closer to orgasm. I’m sure this is the point where I ended up with such major bruising and cane stripes. As I hurtled towards orgasm, I could withstand more and more intense caning. I was ready to come, and with his permission I came, squirting all over the magic wand and throe. He caned me for a little longer and then worked his thick fingers inside my pussy. He manipulated my g-spot and I came even harder. I squirted again and didn’t want him to stop. It felt amazing.

After, I collapsed on the bed. He had me take off the blindfold and my collar. I lay there grinning from ear to ear, but my ass was so sore! (And the skin was broken apparently!) We had some tender cuddles and kisses – something I doubt the average vanilla person pictures when they think about BDSM and Dom/sub relationships. But the pain is always surpassed by the love and affection I get. We’re two halves of a whole. I like pain, he likes giving it, but only to people who are consenting. It’s a lovey dynamic indeed.

Of course, MasterDoc being MasterDoc, he contemplated pissing on my bruised and lacerated ass. This remained only a contemplation, however.

___________________________

*This is our new term. Female premature ejaculation is when a pussy pushes the cock out before the guy can come. Feel free to add it to Urban Dictionary and use it widely. Just give us credit.