Archive for the 'D/s' Category

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Back at MasterDoc’s Home for Wayward Women

Published on August 3, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, kink, orgasm on command, sex, sex toys and submissive. 0 Comments

Sunday, the debauchery continued. I came home to MasterDoc’s to find that he and DeeDee were planning to have DeeDee’s submissive playmate over. He does some housework when he comes over, in exchange for some domming courtesy of Miss DeeDee. (Have I mentioned she’s a switch?)

She’s going to give me details, as I sat here writing blog entries while her sub was over. He seems like an exceptionally nice man, and did he get the kitchen floor clean! While Miss DeeDee prepared for him (and after he had showered) she instructed him to massage my feet. I kept typing on my laptop as this naked man gave me a good footrub. But I don’t yet know the details of when she took him into the bedroom after.

A bit later, MasterDoc and I had some time to reconnect. It’s funny, but after spending the night elsewhere I felt a desperate need to reconnect. He was perfectly fine. I’m such a mushy gal. He took me into the bedroom and lay me down. He got me into sub mode, and had already arranged for DeeDee to come in and take pictures. Stroking my face, talking to me, playing with my cunt, he made me come. There’s now a set of photos of me during orgasm, which was precisely what he wanted – to capture the many faces I make when I come. Too bad I can’t post most of them because I don’t post my face here. There is at least one, however, that I can post once I get it from DeeDee.

I had to struggle to maintain that orgasm when MasterDoc’s phone rang twice in succession. The ring on his phone is so loud and distracting! He said I did a good job, but in my mind I was fantasizing about throwing the damn thing across the room.

After the photos, MasterDoc gave me a good beating. He seemed to be pushing me extra hard. Could just be my perception, but he seemed to keep going longer than usual after I’d start crying out in pain. Still, I took what he dished out like a good girl and then he fucked me after. Again, he told me not to beg to come (and of course I cannot come without permission). He fucked me a long time and I was so desperate to come! Oh my lack of god, it felt amazing but what a tease! It seemed endless. Finally, he told me to come and I pretty much instantly came.

I was still horny a few minutes later, and MasterDoc said I could masturbate if I wanted, but that he was done. I soon forgot the idea of masturbating and moved on to getting a snack.

Don’t You All Wish You Were MasterDoc?

Published on August 1, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, masochism, musings, orgasm on command, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and threesome. 0 Comments

I’ve had a busy weekend, so I’m a little behind in posting here. It gets hard to go back two nights and remember what naughtiness you got up to when you have last night to write about as well. But I will strive to keep this in chronological order as I like keeping it that way.

While talking to MasterDoc the other day about how well counting calories in my phone app has helped me lose weight (about 30 lbs so far!), he pointed out that I’m a “chronicler” – I like keeping lists and details of things and so this is a good way for me to go about it. This is quite true. I found my stash of diaries from high school while cleaning out stuff before moving, and I kept them faithfully for most of the last couple of years of high school. In one, I have a list of every time I had sex with my first boyfriend up until I ran out of room and the novelty of being sexually active wore off. I also kept a spreadsheet of the guys (and gals) I’ve fucked until last year or so, when the list being taken over by “random guy” from when we go out to swing clubs made me decide to give it up. I like making lists. I like blogging, I like chronicling.

So here I am chronicling another naughty night with MasterDoc and DeeDee. There was talk of going out to the swing club, but ultimately we stayed in. I was feeling pretty equally enthusiastic about both options. We haven’t been to the swing club in quite a while, but staying in with my kinky “family” was a wonderful option as well.

While MasterDoc has complimented me many times recently on how calmly I handle things now compared to how I used to, I did have a moment of not handling things as well that night. I got frustrated because when we fool around in the living room, I’m always the one to gather condoms, lube, toys, etc. while MasterDoc and DeeDee get started fooling around. Then being expected to join in when I was just in practical, get things gathered mode is really difficult. So I spoke up. And MasterDoc had DeeDee get some of the stuff for us. It’s not that I don’t want the two of them fooling around, it’s just that I feel left out and like I have to jump into something that I’m not yet in the right mindset for. It feels unfair to always be the one doing the work, although I realize that originally it was because I knew where everything is and DeeDee didn’t.

But after that little bit of expressed frustration (and on some level I don’t think it’s a problem to speak up about it – otherwise I will end up resentful. He just thinks I should be patient and talk about it later, I think I need to speak up in the moment or I’ll not be able to enjoy the whole evening) things moved forward.

MasterDoc is a very, very lucky man. I blew him while DeeDee made out with him, and he did more of the cock choking we’ve been into lately. Hot! DeeDee also thought it was hot to watch. She’s followed my lead and discovered the joys of rough sex porn and how cock choking, with the right person, can be fucking hot. It helps when you’re a little dry mouthed as well, as the saliva really starts flowing after having a cock at the back of your throat.

MasterDoc had us trade off, and he’s to the point now where he acknowledges that he’s a very lucky man to have us. This is a wonderful thing to hear. In all his domliness he’s always emphasized how lucky we are (and we are, and according to MasterDoc this is a key to getting women – genuinely thinking that they (the women) are the lucky ones. Confidence is hot.) I’m sure there are men out there reading this who are gobsmacked at the idea of two sexy, slutty women pleasuring them at once. This is par for the course for MasterDoc. We don’t call his apartment “MasterDoc’s Home for Wayward Women” for nothing.

I feel the need to put in here the fact that earlier in the day, MasterDoc had a bdsm encounter with another woman. He’s such a dog. He likes to say that he has “terminal dogoma.” The man is a super slut.

He enjoyed a couple of rounds of heavy blow job action before turning the tables on us. He asked if I wanted to be beaten before he fucked me, and well, pervert masochist that I am I said yes. He gave me many good ass smacks with the riding crop. He had DeeDee blow him while doing this, and then he eventually moved to fingering me (and somehow, as I wasn’t looking in their direction he fingered DeeDee too) he gave permission to come and we both came long and loud. It takes a skilled man (a super slut!) to be able to get two women off at once like that. He makes me very happy indeed.

We didn’t end up fucking, but I think he made me come again… it’s fuzzy at this point. Ah yes! He fingered me to a squirting orgasm while DeeDee blew him. DeeDee got distracted reading his copy of “The Sensuous Man” (I asked MasterDoc why he’s reading that as he could write it!) and she kept telling us fun stuff the guy said in the book. (Ah, from back in the pre-HIV era when things were so much more liberal. I was born at the wrong time.) MasterDoc distracted me by stroking my face in that way that always makes me melt and slip into subspace. DeeDee asked me a question, but I was too far away to answer. MasterDoc told her this so she didn’t expect me to be coherent. He and I have such chemistry these days that he can fire me up with just a stroke of the cheek, or a grasp of my hair.

More sex would have been fun, but I was so tired. I went to bed a little later and had some work the next day. MasterDoc and DeeDee most likely had fun and freaky sex while I was at work. *sigh* I don’t begrudge them having it, I just bemoan my having to be at work rather than having hot orgasms.

Untitled

Published on July 29, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, analingus, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, dom, fantasy, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, musings, orgasm denial, sex, sex toys and submissive. 2 Comments

I got lost in my head during play Tuesday night, so apologies if this account is disjointed. I had been overdue for a beating, so MasterDoc took to my ass with the riding crop and cane. He started off light, and very gradually increased intensity. He did it in such a way that by the time he was whacking me hard he was able to tell me to come. I came from the pain. I came from him having control. For some unknown reason that still amazes me.

We watched some porn – and this time I actually watched instead of being distracted by him fucking me. I stroked his hair as we lay by each others side. As the porn turned me on I started touching myself. I played with my breasts and nipples, something I rarely do during masturbation. I shyly reached a hand down to my pussy and started playing there. Intermittently, I’d touch him, stroking his back.

Right before having sex with me, MasterDoc looked me in the eye and told me that I was to hold off coming indefinitely. I was not allowed to beg for orgasm like I usually do. Just him giving me this directive, with that firm look in his eyes, made me wet. I struggled to keep my arousal under control as he fucked me. But of course I just kept thinking about how hot it was that he could use my body for his pleasure. It seems as if telling me not to come makes me just want to come more!

We cuddled up after the fucking, and his phone rang. This distracted me so when he told me to come a moment later, I wasn’t anywhere near ready to come. He talked to me about keeping with where we are mentally. After all, the phone can be ignored. I’ll try to do better next time.

My memories of that evening are in bits and pieces, so forgive me if this isn’t as coherent as most posts.

As we cuddled I did some spot worship (see 5th paragraph in that post), and he called me the “High Priestess of Spot Worship.” Hee hee. I know how to play with his special spot really well by now. I stroke his chest languidly, focusing on “the spot” but also touching the rest of his torso – from tummy to collar bone. I’ve joked that I want a sex toy company to make a toy version of his spot so if I ever lose him I can stroke it for comfort.

He had me suck his cock for a while, and I struggled a bit with the reservoir tip of the condom tickling the back of my throat. That’s the only thing I truly hate about blow jobs with condoms.

At one point, I was laying down in such a way that I was looking up at him – and I mentioned that I loved the perspective. Having him above me like that felt so representative of the power dynamic between us. I thought about the idea of him being a god for the length of our scenes. The majority of the time, we’re two humans with strengths and weaknesses. But when we play we can be something else for a while. He can be a god to me, and I can feel safe in his arms. He can be in control, which he likes and I can give up control, which I like. (Of course, ever the irreverent Dom, MasterDoc made some funny noises and hand motions when I said I liked the perspective. Kinda changed the feeling!) Many times that night I felt like declaring I’m his, over and over.

He fucked me from behind a couple of times with that order not to come or ask to come still applying. His cock wasn’t cooperating as much as he would have liked, so the fucking didn’t last long. He had intended to fuck me until he came.

I was feeling really ready for limit pushing, and he had me give his asshole a big kiss. I still don’t like doing it, but it’s hot in the way that I’m being told what to do. Thankfully it is always freshly cleaned when he has me do it. I still pause a second and give him a “do I have to?” look before doing what he tells me to do.

We took a break, and he checked on DeeDee. (She struggles with depression like I do, and was having a tough day.) MasterDoc planned to fuck me later that night as I got so drowsy I was ready to fall asleep, but that got put off. (Something for the wishing box.)

The Mind is the Most Potent Sex Organ

Published on July 26, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, humiliation play, kink, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, shio, slut, squirting and submissive. 1 Comment

In contrast to the other night when I was needing cuddles and reconnection with MasterDoc, last night I was feeling really subby and really eager to push limits.

We were getting settled in the bedroom when he received a phone call. I cuddled him for a moment, then he motioned to me to suck his cock while he talked on the phone. I slid my way down his body and worked his cock with my mouth. He was hard by the time the phone call was over.

He gripped my hair as I gave him head. And a while into the blow job I got a pervasive fantasy of mine fulfilled – he choked me on his cock. Truly choked me. I had his dick down my throat as he held my head down. My mind raced with the hotness of how much control he has. Even when I started to gag, I didn’t panic but found it highly erotic. It seems like my mouth will manage to push it out when it becomes physically vital to do so; there’s no real worry of actually suffocating. I rested on his stomach after, shuddering because I was so hot from what he did to me. He and I both agreed that it was super hot, and he did it to me again. Fuck. This turned me on so much that as I licked at the base of his cock afterward, he told me to come and I did. He hadn’t touched my erogenous zones at all by that time, so I came purely from being turned on by blowing him and being choked on his cock.

I realize that it can be hard for some people to understand why cock choking is hot. I didn’t get it for a long time – I used to feel uneasy watching rough porn where the woman is choked and ends up with drool all over her chin. Somehow that changed, perhaps because I’m with someone I trust? I’m with someone who I want to push my limits. It turns me on to take more and more kinky things for him. I like the feeling that he’s in control. (Granted this is not always easy when he wants me to do something I don’t really want to do.)

He made me come again verbally. I grabbed onto his thighs as I flailed about.

A little later, he put on some porn. As I spooned against him I watched only for a moment before I felt his fingers in my hair. He grabbed hold firmly (near the scalp) and slowly, gently tugged. Not enough to really hurt, but enough to show me who’s in control. This went on for a little while, and yet again I’m amazed by how easily he turns me on these days. The brain really is the largest sexual organ.

He had started fucking me from behind when he received another phone call. He told me, “You need to be quiet, slut. Understand?” I said that I did and he picked up the phone call. He talked on the phone with someone while fucking me. That was just so hot. I know in a less subby mindset I might not have thought so (I might have been upset that I was being ignored) but in a subby mindset I got really turned on thinking about how I’m his slut and he can just recreationally, casually, plunder my body while he attends to something and someone else entirely. I stifled all but a few quiet gasps and moans. After the call was done he fucked me hard and made me come. My cunt pushed his cock out and he continued with his adept fingers. I squirted all over his hand.

Earlier, he had talked about pissing on me, and I had forgotten about it by that point. But he told me to come with him and he led me into the bathroom. He had said that he wanted me to act like it’s the hottest thing ever for him to be pissing on me. He told me that soon, whether he pisses in my mouth or not will depend on how convincing I am when he’s pissing on me. I worried, of course, that I wouldn’t be able to, but I think he has me conditioned now to come under many circumstances, and I rubbed my clit to orgasm as he pissed on me.

I showered off and we took a break. He wanted to get DeeDee to join us but she was distracted by a good Hercule Poirot mystery on PBS.

Eventually he and I made our way, separately, back to the bedroom. He was dealing with another phone call, so I sucked his cock as earlier he decided that that’s what he wants me to do when he gets a call and I’m around. I was eager for more fucking, but MasterDoc wanted the Lelo Bob in his ass. He got on hands and knees and stroked his cock as I warmed up his ass by massaging and lubing it up.

After slowly and gently working a finger in, I slid my finger out and lubed up the Bob. I spread his ass wide so I could be sure I was pushing it against his sphincter. Once the widest part was in, the rest slid in easily. I worked the plug a little, pressing it forward towards his prostate. Then I left the plug alone and massaged his thighs and ass. He tugged on his cock while I continued to do whatever I could to increase his pleasure. He told me to come, and I came while he did. I think we’ve achieved some sort of hypnotism without trying. Imagine what MasterDoc could do if he tried. Last night, the fucking/fingering was the only time I came with my genitals being touched by anything. MasterDoc is fucking amazing. I’m sure it’s not only him (although he is amazing) but also the combination of the two of us together.

A Victim of My Own Success

Published on July 25, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, analingus, blow jobs, bondage, horny, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, shio and squirting. 0 Comments

As many of you have seen on twitter, I didn’t see MasterDoc for over a week. He went away to his friend’s wedding across the country. I still hung out surprisingly often at his place, spending some time with DeeDee and her friend. I got to see my friend DivaSub and we watched some funny movies and stuff. (Bill Hicks, Valley Girl, Dazed and Confused – for the win!) I also managed to find an apartment I like. (And DivaSub is thrilled since it’s near her, in fact you can see her apartment window from the window of what I hope will soon be my apartment.) I’ll be just two blocks from MasterDoc, which is excellent not only because I see him often, but also because I have never lived alone before. I’m really nervous yet excited about it. I love the apartment so hopefully I will get my paperwork in quickly enough to snag it. I have great credit and earn enough to rent there, so things should go well. I’m also trying to snag garage parking in the building across the street (the building I want to move into has a waiting list for the garage). It’s just a studio, but it has an actual kitchen plus tons of closet space. I was born an NYC girl and I will be one again if all goes as planned.

I saw MasterDoc a tiny bit Friday morning. He got in late from work and slept next to me. I got a quick cuddle before he went back to sleep and I got ready for work.

I was so happy to get some time alone with him Friday night, but as we got ready to “do the freaky-freaky” as MasterDoc might say, he fell into a very sadistic, teasing mood. I was needing cuddles and reconnecting, and he was talking about making me lick chocolate sauce from his asshole. (Ew.) I found it harder to get turned on because I just wasn’t in a state where I could handle teasing about stuff I don’t like. (And he had left me on a teasing note, tormenting me about pissing in my mouth.)

He took a moment to change his mindset, and things proceeded much better from there. At this point in our relationship, I just have to press my naked body against his and I get turned on. My hands wander his chest and I get more and more excited. He gets excited too from touching me and having me close.

It dawned on MasterDoc that that’s why we don’t do as much kinky stuff lately – he gets so turned on that all he can think about in the moment is fucking me. I am a victim of my own success. He often intends to do kinky stuff, but never quite gets there. I have to say, the sex is so phenomenal that I can’t truly complain, but I would love some more kink back in my life.

He had me suck his cock and I got into it: licking, slurping, making it hard. He twined his fingers in my hair and I got even more excited hoping he was going to choke me on his cock. He did, finally, holding my head down until I actually started to gag on his cock. Then I lay on his chest to catch my breath. While I needed time to recover, I would have loved to go again. It’s like there’s some sort of high that’s produced when he does that. I hope he does more in the future. I blew him until he had me stop, saying that one of these days I’ll manage to make him come orally. This doesn’t happen often for him (and hasn’t happened ever with me) so I look forward to it!

I deep throated him as much as possible. I love making him feel good! It turns me on to know that I’ve gotten really good at giving him head. I used to be a lover who was really focused on her own pleasure, but now I’ve learned to get immense pleasure out of my partner’s pleasure too.

MasterDoc played with my pussy for a bit, but I had a hard time getting aroused as my clit was so sensitive that touching it hurt. Adding lube helped a lot and as he was hard and ready, he had me get on top of his cock for a ride. Oh it was so nice to slip him inside me. I’m spoiled with regular sex so going about a week and a half without it was hard! Fucking him excited me so much that I came wildly when he gave permission. My whole body tensed up, I fell forward onto him, and I kept involuntarily twitching as he touched me. He wrung every last orgasm out of my body, and I was exhausted after. So often these days I wonder if I can keep coming (or if my body is too tired to) and just as I wonder that he makes me come again.

It’s an exquisite form of control. He can make me twitch and come with just the touch of his hand. When he fucks me, I come until he decides to stop me. I can’t control coming again and again if he decides to make me come.

We fucked a second time. I knelt at the end of the bed and leaned over my Liberator Axis (that thing kicks ass for support during doggy style sex). He teased me a bit, not putting his cock in right away. I was so, so desperate for it. I sighed as he slid his cock in. He fucked me for a long time, I moaned a lot as I could have come shortly after he started. I’m sure he can hear through my moans that plaintive call where I wordlessly try to beg for orgasm.

When I came, my pussy pushed his cock out, but he continued with his hands. I squirted a whole bunch and then kept right on coming. Again, he forced orgasms out of me until I didn’t think I could stand it any more. As he finished with me and told me to fall forward, I just about managed to get the axis out from under me before I collapsed.

Before we started, we put the underbed restraints on the bed. He had me lay in the middle of the bed, on my stomach, and he strapped me down. At first, this made me so hot as I love bondage. But he left me there, and as time went on my shoulders began to ache. I debated calling out for him but the sub in me wanted to see if I could concentrate on relaxing and thereby stay bound without so much shoulder pain. I was left there quite a while as he got distracted by the Yankee game. When he came in I told him about the discomfort and he undid me, pointing out that he wouldn’t get mad at me for having to ask him to un-cuff me if I was in pain.

We started getting amorous again, but DeeDee called to say she and her friend were on the way home. We had to forego a third round of sex. It was such a shame as we both would have loved more, but considering the many, many orgasms I had, I can’t complain.

The Science Fiction T-Shirt and Squirting

Published on July 15, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, anxiety, edge play, horny, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, sex, sex toys, shio and squirting. 1 Comment

MasterDoc and I adjourned to the bedroom. DeeDee had an important email to attend to, so she went off to handle that. MasterDoc selected the porn for a change – he does from time to time but he expects me and DeeDee to have porn selected from one of the various free porn sites ahead of time. He selected some German piss porn. Ack. It’s funny because the opening scene was innocuous enough. I joked that this is worse than porn with a storyline usually is – it was porn with a storyline in German! I had no idea what they were saying. So when the guy goes up to the woman behind the desk in the office, I was surprised (is dismayed a better word perhaps?) that he takes out his dick and starts pissing on her. She acted like it was just the hottest thing ever and I felt so grossed out. MasterDoc wants that to be me someday, but ack, I find piss play gross.

He had me use my nea to warm myself up, but whenever I looked at the porn (which included pissing in mouths – both him pissing in her mouth and the reverse) I felt distinctly turned off. He came over to sit next to me and sucked on a nipple a bit. I complained that the porn was turning me off. That I don’t get how anyone could find piss erotic. He said it has to do with the humiliation of it – but the woman in the video didn’t seem at all humiliated. She seemed happy. I ended up closing my eyes or looking away so I could become aroused as the nea buzzed on my clit.

I glanced over at the porn and saw the woman giving the guy a blow job. I watched tentatively, afraid that he would start pissing in her mouth. Indeed, he did. MasterDoc pointed out that that’s coming soon between us, and I got more squicked and anxious than usual – probably because I know his doing this to me is imminent. He suggested that I could welcome him home after his trip this week by having him piss in my mouth. (Yuck!) I’m truly freaked out by this. Yucky, yucky, yucky!

He fucked me from behind and I had the damndest time getting fully aroused as I kept having anxious thoughts about the piss play. I did manage to block it out and come at his command. The throe was in the laundry, so MasterDoc grabbed his nearby Science Fiction Museum t-shirt and put it under me as I started to squirt. It absorbed most of the squirting. He says now whenever he wears that t-shirt he will think of my pussy. I point out that this is appropriate as I bought it for him while I was in Seattle. “You should put that on the blog!” he said, “Now when people see a guy with a Science Fiction Museum t-shirt they’ll wonder, “Could that be MasterDoc?” (And as I write this, I wonder if Coy Pink will get a giggle as she was there with me when I bought that shirt.)

Next he selected porn that I like, something that we’ve watched but as usual I only saw a bit of it since I got distracted by orgasms. I loved the parts with her choking on cock. I keep hoping MasterDoc will do more of that with me. It seems lately that I want things rougher than he does, or rougher than he feels comfortable or turned on giving. I don’t know. I pressed up against him and watched the porn too. I was slid up a bit high on the bed to play with his ass, but I stroked his hair and his back. I started getting really worked up and I breathed heavily into his ear. While helping him come usually involves me being really hands on, this time I slid a hand between my legs and played with myself while rubbing my body against him and moaning in his ear. This worked – he came and shot a load all over the bed. I could have come at the same time, had he given permission, but he didn’t realize that until it was just slightly too late. We cuddled for a bit, and he went off looking for DeeDee. (She had been expected to join us, but her tummy was upset so she wasn’t in the mood.)

I lay in bed, still horny, still having gotten up to an orgasm but not completed it. I realized that I have two times per week when I can masturbate, and dammit, I decided to do that. I pulled on my nipples and slid a hand down to my cunt. I added some lube as too much friction is no fun (for me). I rubbed my clit furiously with my right hand, and then held the top of my labia apart with the other hand to get at the clit better. I teased myself a little bit, especially since I had a small hope MasterDoc would walk in on me. I made myself come, squirting a bit on the towel we had put down over my previous squirting. It was such a relief to come! I continued on a bit, then went to join DeeDee and MasterDoc in the living room.

A little later, I mentioned to MasterDoc what I did – and he said, “Wow, that’s hot! For that you get an extra round of masturbation this week while I’m gone.” Yipee!

Magic Hands

Published on July 14, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, kink, orgasm on command, sex toys, shio and squirting. 1 Comment

MasterDoc provided a great deal of affection and orgasms on Sunday. It was wonderful to move past feeling triggered and into enjoying hot sex with my sexy Dom. These days, he can turn me on so much just by touching my body. It doesn’t have to be overtly sexual at all. Having him close to me, touching me, gets me hot. He fucked me at the end of the bed, and I squirted a TON. The Liberator Fascinator throe was still wet the next day! He has a great cock and I just love when he fucks me.

Monday night, I was fortunate as well. He’s going to be away for a bit at a wedding, so we’ve been packing in a lot of time together. DeeDee went off to look at a potential apartment for herself. MasterDoc lay in bed next to me and he played with my body until I was quivering in his hands. He grasped my hair with one hand, kissed me deeply, and toyed with my pussy at the same time. I melted into how good and safe I feel in his arms. He briefly kissed my neck – something I love but he doesn’t do often (to be fair I don’t do it often to him either).

As I got wet, he talked to me to encourage me to reach and sustain my arousal on the edge of coming. His teasing me verbally was like extra fingers touching my erogenous zones. Then…. he took his hand away from my pussy. He told me to come. I came instantly and hard as he stroked my body, gradually working down to my pussy. The touches were gentle and slow to start, but increased in intensity as his hands traveled down my body and I continued coming. When he slid his fingers in my pussy I thought I would explode. I reached the highest crescendo as he prodded my g-spot.

I stroked his body as I came down, pressing against him. I love having him touch me – be it sexual or cuddles. I love playing with that spot on his chest that various women have taken to.

We needed to review Bob, a Lelo buttplug for men. I stroked his body as he did something on his laptop, and when he was ready I lubed up my hands and started massaging his ass. Very slowly I worked a finger in to get his ass warmed up. I added extra lube a couple of times, as you can’t have too much lube when it comes to anal. He told me it was time to try the toy, and I slid Bob into his ass. (Beforehand, I joked around with him that I was going to tease his “incurably straight” self by saying, “And now Bob is going in your ass! Does Bob feel good in your ass?”)

But in the heat of the moment I didn’t joke. I had my collar on anyway. The toy slid in easily, and MasterDoc had me move it around a bit. I could tell from the gasps, twitches and sighs coming from him that he liked it. At one point he took over moving the plug, and I reached over him and massaged his groin. I like to imagine that this felt incredible. I love making him feel good.

He didn’t come in the end, but overall enjoyed the plug. We’re going to try it again before writing an official review.

I spent some time cuddled behind him as he faced his laptop on the bed and got some things done. I was deeply in sub mode and I lay there fantasizing about being a slave, shackled and left to wait until he needed me again. I couldn’t do that sort of thing all the time, but within a scene it could be pretty freaking hot.

Not All Nights Out Are Happy

Published on July 13, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, anxiety, blow jobs, emotions, exhibitionism, sex parties, shio, squirting and stress. 0 Comments

I went out to a party with MasterDoc and DeeDee Saturday night. I wasn’t entirely in the mood to go out, but I figured I could get myself in the mood. I put on some music as I got ready (Culture Club! I’m a total child of the 80′s.) and I perked up. The host of the party was the same guy who lent MasterDoc his paddle recently and his parties have always been good. We got there, to a space we’ve never been to, and my first impression was that the crowd was some how “dodgy” compared even to the usual swing club crowd. There seemed to be a whiff of desperation in the air much greater than usual. This could have been merely my perception, it’s hard to tell, but it set me up for feeling uncomfortable and unsafe. I told MasterDoc my impression, and DeeDee mostly agreed with the impression. But we wandered around and I stuck with them.

Taking a break on a bed, DeeDee was raring to go and while MasterDoc kissed me on one side, he reached back with a hand and played with DeeDee’s pussy. She came pretty fast and it’s impressive how quickly she gets worked up these days. I wasn’t comfortable enough yet so I was glad to snuggle a bit. I took my top off, to reveal the top half of the lacy, meshy slip I had borrowed from DeeDee to wear but I left my sarong on the bottom half. DeeDee is a few inches shorter than me, so a slip that’s short on her is practically non-existent on me. I could scarcely pull it down enough to go over my ass. Most women weren’t dressed too scantily, and this made me feel even more self-conscious. MasterDoc had me suck his cock while DeeDee cuddled with him, and I enjoyed making him twitch with my mouth. He had us change places a few moments later, and he and I kissed and cuddled while DeeDee made him twitch. The bed was uncomfortable – it was pretty much a leather (or pleather more likely) flat couch and it sunk in the section I sat on.

We got up and looked around some more, we ran into the party host and he showed us around. There were many “voyeur” or “peeping Tom” windows to the rooms, where viewers could pull back a curtain from the outside and watch what was going on in the room. This suited our sensibilities. But the lighting was exceptionally low for the most part. We got drinks and a nibble to eat, and MasterDoc sat us down in a well-lit and well-traveled area. A couple who had asked about our big For Your Nymphomation bag of toys, came over and MasterDoc gave them a tour of the inside of our toychest. I could tell MasterDoc was flirting with the woman, and she was rather cute. The guy didn’t thrill me and I didn’t really want to end up doing anything with him, but I knew that to help MasterDoc along I was going to be expected to.

As MasterDoc finished the toychest tour and went back to eating, I found myself sitting between him and DeeDee. They had me take off my sarong, so I was barely clad in the slip. (It’s black, lace underwire cups, mesh body and wide lace trim at the bottom.) I felt really self conscious for some reason last night. I still didn’t feel comfortable with the people there. And to be exposed in such a heavily traveled and well-lit area made me feel anxious. (MasterDoc later told me that he chose that place because it would be easy to keep control over what was happening. Too bad it didn’t feel like that to me.) He put my leg over his, so that my legs were partly spread. DeeDee did the same with my other leg. I felt anxious and so I requested the blindfold out of the bag. Some onlookers commented on how we had everything in that bag, but by blocking my sight I was able to block the onlookers out to an extent. MasterDoc toyed with me, and I had a hard time getting into it, but I tried my best. I was able to relax enough to enjoy his toying with my body, and he made me come hard in front of all those people. I squirted a couple of times on the vinyl bench and I worried that it would seep under my raised thigh and soak MasterDoc’s pants. He made me come for a long period of time and I came close several times to begging him to let me rest.

We cleaned up the bench with baby wipes after I was done. My ass was kept damp by the slip having gotten wet at the back. Luckily it was mesh so it wasn’t too uncomfortable to walk around in, in that respect. A guy who had been nearby watching with two women followed us over to the food table and he complimented me on the show. He was clearly interested, and he didn’t seem too bad – i.e., he didn’t trigger my sense of feeling unsafe. Maybe I was relaxing a bit. I needed to sit down, and MasterDoc found me a chair in the hallway. The couple from earlier came over and they were clearly interested in playing. The guy started getting close to me, and I could tell MasterDoc saw him stroking my shoulders and then gradually moving to my breasts. I wasn’t thrilled with the guy, but I was still just aroused enough that I could close my eyes and enjoy the feeling (forgetting who was doing it). MasterDoc joined in caressing me. The five of us went off to a room, the guy in the couple seemed quite uncomfortable with having an audience. MasterDoc explained how much we enjoy an audience. We closed the door to the room, so that only the guys peering through the perv window could see us.

DeeDee and MasterDoc talked about how not only is it his skills that gets him women, but also he has found very responsive women. He had DeeDee lay down and he brought her to orgasm quickly as a demonstration. The guy was turned on and asked if he could eat her out and he did so for a bit. DeeDee came again. The guy kept playing with her pussy and stroking her thighs and she had to beg for a break. (MasterDoc had to remind him a few times to stop touching her so she could rest.) He then reached to play with my pussy. I wasn’t interested or particularly comfortable, but I knew that MasterDoc wanted me to go along with things (although I felt unclear on the extent). My pussy wasn’t really wet enough but the toy bag with the lube was out of reach. The guy sat on the arm of the sofa next to me, and opened his jeans His lady sucked his cock and I felt a sense of relief to just watch, but he groped me as well and I sort of silently put up with it.

This is sad isn’t it? I was totally not into it and it was a little like when I was raped – I felt the activity was inevitable and so I quietly acquiesced and reminded myself it would soon be over. I tolerated it rather than enjoying it. Positions shifted and soon MasterDoc was playing with the lady’s pussy while she bent over and sucked her guy’s cock. The guy tried to go down on me but couldn’t get in a good position, so he played with my somewhat dry clit instead. I thought his skills were pretty dreadful. He beckoned DeeDee over and wanted her to suck his cock, she told him she doesn’t do that. He kept caressing her and I alternately and I worried that MasterDoc wasn’t watching. He was more than likely was keeping on top of his Domly duties and making sure I wasn’t being harmed, but I was feeling so unsafe that night that if he wasn’t looking in the direction of what was happening to my body, I felt like he wasn’t watching. (When we spoke later he assured me that he was in control of the situation.) While all this was going on, assholes kept opening the door to the room and not going away when we motioned for them to leave. It added to my sense of being unsettled and unsafe and I felt like the crowd was rude and pushy. I also got the sense that they were extremely straight and extremely vanilla. The guy in the couple, being uncomfortable with the crowd, ended up leaving with the lady after exchanging phone numbers with MasterDoc.

After they left, we closed the door again and MasterDoc attended to me. He went down on me, and I just kept feeling so unsafe in that environment that I couldn’t let go and enjoy myself. He tried placing pressure on my inner pelvis, but it just came across as uncomfortable. When it was clear I couldn’t relax, he came up and talked to me. I explained that I was fearful of being assaulted (and I know this wasn’t particularly rational, but I had images of aggressive guys forcing themselves on me while MasterDoc got pushed to the other end of the room by the sea of bodies). I was so clearly freaked out that MasterDoc decided we should go home.

I needed to use the bathroom before we left, and DeeDee went with me since she knew the door didn’t lock. She stood outside, looking formidable and Dommely with my riding crop. This helped a great deal. Ultimately, I felt uncomfortable enough (and somehow triggered enough) that anyone I didn’t know touching me was likely to freak me out. I had tried conveying my level of freaked outness to MasterDoc but I’m not sure I managed to do it adequately. He was keeping control of the situation from his perspective, but I felt very much like things were out of control – particularly out of my control. Some days I just can’t feel ok about “You will fuck whoever I tell you to.” When I’m in the right mindset it can be hot to be his whore and used by others at his discretion, however in the wrong mindset it feels like assault. I felt withdrawn and unhappy well into Sunday.

Troublesome Tart

Published on July 7, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, bondage, cunnilingus, cunt, dom, happy, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, shio, squirting and submissive. 0 Comments

Monday afternoon MasterDoc and I got some time alone, and I’m really happy to say he listened to my wishes for using bondage. *happy dance* He had me lay on the bed and he secured my wrists and ankles with the underbed restraints. I was so turned on by being restrained. No, seriously. The simple act of being bound made me hot. This is why I’ve been begging for bondage. MasterDoc teased me with his mouth. He crawled up beside me and teased me with his fingers. He sucked hard on my breasts until the pain made me moan. He got me incredibly worked up and then left me there.

I lay in the bedroom alone and bound for what felt like several minutes. Instead of letting my mind wander and get impatient, I focused on how helpless I was. I would pull against the restraints gently to remind myself that I couldn’t get up and this alone was enough to get me moaning and horny. I love fantasizing about  MasterDoc being all-powerful and me being helpless. (I can haz more pls?)

When he returned, he had an ice cube in a baggie. He knows I hate ice/being cold. But in this situation it turned me on even more because he was free to do something to me I don’t like. Yes, the helplessness again. He iced my nipple until the cold began to hurt. He followed up with the ice on my clit – again there was pain after a while but this turned me on. He worked me up and over until he shoved the ice in my pussy and made me come. Fuck. Being tormented never felt so good.

He undid one of my wrists after that, and cuddled with me a bit. He told me to undo my other wrist and while my ankles were still bound he made me come again. I was in heaven.

We took a break and fixed dinner right after this, and he said something teasingly mean in the kitchen. I told him, “You’re mean!” but a few seconds later I sheepishly admitted, “And it turns me on a lot when you’re mean.”

After dinner we sat on the sofa and looked through Kink Academy’s scene starter/humiliation cards.  Most of the humiliation term ideas were over the top for us, but it was good for a laugh. As MasterDoc read from the cards, he came across “porn addicted masturbator.”  In perfect deadpan he said, “No, that’s me,” and moved on to the next card. He found one insult that he thought suited DeeDee (especially since she was out with one of our friends fucking a friend of this friend). “Nasty greedy raunchy dirty whore” He couldn’t wait to share that with her when she got home. He also liked “semen swasher” and “troublesome tart.” (I like that one too. And, well, sometimes it fits me.)

He gave me a bit of a hard time about wanting more sex, but I protested that I didn’t think I asked for too much. I was surprised he gave me a hard time, because it was implied earlier that we’d get up to more. He took me back in the bedroom and fucked me from behind. I loved being used as his slut. I was in such a subby mindset that I kept envisioning me as just a whore with a hole for him to take his pleasure from. God that’s hot. He fucked me well twice and made me come hard, squirting all over. My vaginal muscles didn’t push him out right away, so he kept pounding me while I came. I was screaming for what seemed to be many minutes (but I have no idea how long it actually was). I hope the neighbors didn’t worry about the screaming.

Independence Day

Published on July 6, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, caning, cunnilingus, depression, dom, embarrassment, exhibitionism, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, squirting, submissive and threesome. 0 Comments

Since I wear my depressive episodes on my sleeve anyone who follows my twitter knows I was in bad shape the other day. Thankfully, it has passed and I have some very understanding people in my life who realize that while I become negative and complaining during an episode, it’s not entirely what I’m thinking/feeling so much as just a chemical reaction in my brain.

But some things do get brought up when I’m in that state that are bothering me just below the surface. I gave MasterDoc a hard time about our sex life becoming more and more routine. It can be frustrating when he seems to put effort and creativity into trysts with women he’s not involved with, but not so much with me (or DeeDee). Now granted, even a routine sex life with MasterDoc is pretty hot and satisfying. And one of the wonderful things (I say that a lot, don’t I? There’s many wonderful things.) about MasterDoc is that he will look at criticism and see if it has merit. He acknowledged that there is some truth to my complaints.

After talks, hugs and hanging out, my depression lifted. On Saturday night after MasterDoc made DeeDee come and subsequently conk out, he took me into the other bedroom and went down on me. This is something he doesn’t do often, and we were chatting about that earlier in the day. He dove in and did a fantastic job eating my pussy. He had me moaning and heading towards orgasm in mere moments. As he had me come, he put fingers inside me AND pressed down just above my pubic bone with the other hand while still licking my clit. Holy fucking christ I had an incredible orgasm. Even more incredible than usual. He joked about how he was sorry it was just plain sex and not something creative. I had to laugh because of course it was more than wonderful. I crave more bdsm scenes, but the sex we do have is pretty damn hot.

Sunday night the three of us went out to the swing club. MasterDoc, DeeDee and I seem to be becoming more and more triad-like as time goes on. It’s not unusual for us to show up as a unit to the swing club. The three of us took over the large bed and DeeDee and I took turns sucking MasterDoc’s cock. DeeDee started him off, and I cuddled with him. He decided that in honor of Independence Day we would be allowed to come when we choose to (now granted, we each might decide some teasing is desired, but it was all left up to us). After telling me this, he had me swap places with DeeDee and he told her the same and one or two other things, such as him considering letting us select one guy to fuck.

The swing club was having a private party that night and the host, a friendly (and kinky) guy we know, came in with his new paddle. He told MasterDoc that he was welcome to break the paddle in, and so MD had DeeDee and I get on all fours on the bed, asses in his direction. He alternated paddling us. I hadn’t had a paddling in a while and it definitely suited me. He switched to fingering us at the same time and soon we’re both coming. (Picture, if you will, MasterDoc kneeling on the bed behind us with his right hand in my cunt and his left hand in DeeDee’s cunt.) The party host commented afterward that it was impressive to watch MasterDoc “pussy DJ.” MasterDoc loves the showmanship of sex and he would vary what he did to us to get us to make noise in time with the music. He’d focus on DeeDee, then on me, then both of us so we were moaning in unison. I came quickly and for a long time. These days I forget how fast I’m able to orgasm since I always have to ask permission. It was lovely for a change of pace, but I like the way he teases me so I wouldn’t want it like that all the time.

After a rest and cuddles, he had DeeDee and I give him a dual blow job – she was licking one side, I the other. We both started giggling when her tongue pretty much left his cock and got together with my tongue. I giggled thinking MasterDoc was pushing her head a bit to encourage her – but it turned out he had no idea why we were giggling! DeeDee was more aggressive than usual and it surprised me a bit because I remember back to last year when MasterDoc met her and he told me that she was curious about doing things with women, but didn’t think she would be comfortable kissing one. I was happy to go along with it however, as clearly she was ok with what she was doing.

As DeeDee cuddled against MasterDoc’s back and stroked his ass and back (as far as I could tell), he leaned in to me and we kissed a bit. He touched my body and soon I was on the verge of orgasm. I could feel DeeDee’s hand reach out for my nipple and I enjoyed coming as they played with my body.

We got dressed, got drinks and had a seat in the main area. Coincidentally, the spotlight was on MasterDoc’s cock. This inspired him to have us take turns blowing him and with a hard cock he asked if I wanted to be fucked. Oh yes! He had me bend over the  back of the couch and he fucked me. Unfortunately, this didn’t last long as the couch is right against a wall, a very hard wall, and my head kept hitting it despite my best efforts to keep it  clear of the wall. We had to find another spot.

We moved to the exhibitionists room just a few steps away (it’s part of the main area, just set off by some very sheer curtains). MasterDoc decided to give me a beating and DeeDee suggested implements from the toy bag to him. My pain tolerance was quite good and he gave me quite a beating. (DeeDee later said she was impressed by what I took.) Since I had permission to come whenever I wanted, I came due to just the beating. The orgasm lasted a while while he kept caning my ass. My ass was quite sore after, but I had had a great time.

I suggested that DeeDee was overdue for an orgasm. He says, “What? She’s due for a beating?” He loves to tease us and make it seem like we’re trying to give the other one trouble. Because she was so enthusiastic about giving him impact toys to use on me, he decided that he should use the same ones on her. I was proactive for once and I lent a hand playing with her clit without his even encouraging me. DeeDee came easily. I got the nea and used that on her clit next. MasterDoc followed through on something he had promised earlier that evening – that he would use my anal beads on her as a tail. He had her suck on the beads to moisten them, and I tried being helpful and held up the bottle of lube, which thankfully he used. So the beads were placed only about half way in, and he told her, “Now, arf!”

“Oh Sir! Please no!” DeeDee moaned with her face buried in her arms (ass in the air). He got her to bark like a dog, much to her humiliation. In order to be able to come again, he made her arf one final time. She did after a few moments as I suppose the desire for orgasm outweighed the humiliation. As MasterDoc played with her cunt, I remembered his admonition for no idle hands – either help play with someone else – or play with yourself. I opted to play with myself and soon I came again as DeeDee did. I squirted this time, and got my dress a little wet. Thankfully it’s warm out so the damp dress wasn’t as uncomfortable as it could have been.

A few people had stopped by to watch as she came while my hand was holding the nea to her clit and MasterDoc was playing with the anal beads. DeeDee was so embarrassed after that she didn’t want to leave the area and face the people who might have been watching her humiliation.