Archive for the 'dom' Category

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Solo

Published on December 2, 2010 in D/s, dom, masturbation, porn, sex toys, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I’m to report my masturbation sessions to MasterDoc. He has also recently mandated that I masturbate at least once (preferably twice) a week since I wasn’t doing much solo exploration. I’m not sure why I’m off masturbation lately. When I was a teenager without a partner I would masturbate a few times a day sometimes! I would make dates with myself to spend a long time masturbating.

Perhaps it’s because I get so much fantastic sex now that I don’t need to masturbate? I don’t know if that’s entirely true since I do get horny when I’m on my own. I’m just not usually willing to take the time to set up the scene when it’s just myself. And being a squirter, I do have to “set up” before masturbation. Throe. Lube. Vibe of some sort. Possibly porn.

Tonight I made a point of masturbation and took some time to watch porn on theupperfloor.com. I had my first orgasm, via my Siri buzzing my clit, while I watched Cherry Torn beg for orgasm. Whew. I think a part of me was glad it was her and not me. But another part reminisced about being in that situation myself and that part was triggered, so I came.

It was a lackluster orgasm. The type I generally have when I masturbate lately. It’s part of why I don’t masturbate more. It just can’t compare to an orgasm with MasterDoc.

I continued masturbating, and continued to watch the porn. A short time passed before I was able to come again. But this time – this time – I thought of MasterDoc telling me to come. Holy fuck I came hard! I squirted almost immediately (and the throe saved my couch which is why I set up before masturbation!) And I kept coming as I imagined him continuing to tell me to come. It was hot.

I’m thinking that instead of porn, I should re-read this blog when I masturbate. If I can’t be with MasterDoc, I can fully imagine I am with him, and get myself off. (Hell, you all read this blog and get yourselves off. Why shouldn’t I?)

Brat

Published on November 25, 2010 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, D/s, dom, edge play, embarrassment, emotions, gags, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, musings, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sadism, sex, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

While emotional outbursts, for me, are often caused by depression or anxiety issues, sometimes I’m just being a spoiled brat. Last Saturday I got cranky and pouty because the evening I thought I was to have alone with MasterDoc got changed around when DeeDee didn’t leave for her Thanksgiving trip for an extra day. So of course since she’s away this week, MasterDoc opted to spend time alone with her that night.

I think the pouting worked in some way for me growing up, otherwise why do I default to it so often? It’s immature and pretty counterproductive. (Especially with MasterDoc, he likes things to be calm and me having a childish fit doesn’t help that.) He spoke with me that day and while I cried over some things that bother me, I ultimately left his place feeling happy. I had plans to see him for definite on Sunday afternoon, and Monday evening AND Tuesday evening. He was right when he pointed out, “What’s one evening’s delay?” Nothing really.

When I saw him Sunday I got a lecture about my behavior and while I agree that I was certainly being a brat, I don’t think all my displeasure was unfounded. But I’ll leave those details between myself and my Dom. He tossed out the theory that since I was an only child (for nearly 11 years), and developed that sense of entitlement many only children develop, that having it taken away so abruptly (at the dawn of puberty no less) has left me feeling the need to count every minute, every task I do, etc. and demand as much time and as much recognition for my work as possible. It’s pretty obnoxious when I think about it. But there was always this, “Hey that’s not fair!” thing going on with my brother and me. Becoming a sister was a far rougher transition than I had thought it would be. But what did I know at 10 years old? I resented my poor brother for many years, and only as we’ve both become adults have I taken the time to apologize.

I really can be a dysfunctional shit sometimes. I’m lucky my friends love me despite my flaws.

So it’s time for me to refocus on my attitude and my service. This is something I’ve decided in light of my recent behavior. I will try to not mentally keep tabs on all tasks I do versus what DeeDee does. I will try to be more gracious when plans change. I will try to be a better submissive.

After our discussion, there was much pleasurable cock sucking and choking. I enthusiastically blew him for as long as possible. When we lay close to each other, he made me come on command a few times. When he brought up the idea of piss play, he really hit the nail on the head when he pressed me to admit I want him to piss on me. I couldn’t deny it, although I really wanted to. The humiliation that came with it was hot, however.

He didn’t piss on me that day, but I did ride his cock for a good long time. It was quite a full-body exercise! It seemed like he drew out the teasing phase before each orgasm, and I just loved it. While I am desperate for release, I’m also enjoying how it feels to be brought to the edge of orgasm. Stimulation feels good!

Monday and Tuesday evenings were spent with MasterDoc as well. There was some really hot sex Monday night and MasterDoc talked me through being able to handle a ball gag without gagging. The trick is to breathe slowly through the nose. If you breathe too quickly it narrows the nasal passages and you get less air. I also found that having my head tilting down or to the side helped too – the saliva didn’t pool at the back of my throat so much as dribble out, so I didn’t feel like I was drowning in spit. The gag is pretty loose and at one point while tantalizing me, MasterDoc pulled on it. It fit snugly in between my lips and the very act of him doing that made me so hot as my head was pulled back. (I’m twitching right now in remembrance.) There was more marvelous fucking – this time with him on top.

I am a damn lucky bitch.

Tuesday was quieter, but he made me come like crazy after I warmed myself up with masturbation. I think there was also quite a bit of caning. After two consecutive days of great sex, I was feeling pretty content and doing less on Tuesday wasn’t a big deal.

I’m sure I’m leaving stuff out or have changed the evenings when a particular activity occured. This is what comes of not having as much time to write lately. I get to see MasterDoc tomorrow and after just a day away from him I’m ready for nooky again.

The Next Steps?

Published on November 11, 2010 in analingus, bdsm, bondage, D/s, dom, emotions, gang bang, humiliation play, kink, masochism, musings, piss play, restraints, sex parties, submissive, swinging, trust, Uncategorized and wishing box. 1 Comment

As my D/s relationship with MasterDoc develops, the focus can change over time. When I first met him of course the focus was teaching me precisely how he likes to be pleasured, getting me to remember to say “Sir,” and training my ability to come at his command. On the service side of things he taught me what chores he wants me to do, and how to prepare things how he likes them, etc.

Recently I’ve felt like there’s a shift – the shift hasn’t happened just yet but it feels like a new phase of our relationship is ready to begin. I’ve been contemplating for at least a week now telling him that if he wants me to lick his ass, then I would respect him even more if he made me do it despite my dislike of the activity. I think I’m at the point now where him making me do a few things I dislike (but know full well won’t harm me) is the way to go. Not so much to exercise power, but I think he, as the Dom, should feel free to engage in whatever experiences he would like to – and not give as much concern over what I like to do.* Of course, I’ve hesitated to say anything because I’m worried this is a case of “be careful of what you wish for!” But I feel like I need to take another step into being his submissive on perhaps a deeper level than before. We’re at a point where if he makes me lick his ass I’m not going to consider leaving him. If he pisses in my mouth I’m not going to leave him. I don’t like these activities and hope they don’t become frequent, but I feel like if he’s the Dom then he should use me as he likes.

We’ve watched a lot of porn on theupperfloor.com lately and it’s been giving him all sorts of ideas. The forced exercise I found too painful to watch. I hate exercise but can handle it better if I’m doing it by myself and of my own volition. But the scene where the slave was hooded (and therefore couldn’t see) and forced to scrub the floor while the dominant whipped or fingered her – that was damn hot. Just scrubbing a floor isn’t hot to me. But being in some sort of bondage/blindfolding/gagging and being watched over by the man who delivers such delicious torment to me, that would be hot.

The Upper Floor has also made me crave kinky parties where I could serve and be toyed with by the guests freely. Not only toyed with but perhaps also gang-banged.

MasterDoc and I talked briefly about the idea of things like positions the sub needs to learn and use in certain situations. He was never into that, but I’ve been curious about it and now feels like a time to maybe delve into some of that, to maybe have a little more protocol than we currently have? (We’ve never been big on protocol other than calling him Sir and being respectful and obedient.) I’m also wishing for more bondage in my life.

All this is dependent on what MasterDoc wants and thinks is right. I’m merely expressing my willingness and desire to go a little further into submission and service to him. I feel like I need to be pushed a little.

* This meaning that of course I hope my needs will still be met, but I think he should feel more latitude in making me satisfy his needs even if I find an act distasteful.

Therapeutic Beating

Published on October 15, 2010 in anal, bdsm, bondage, caning, cunt, D/s, dom, flogging, kink, masochism, needle play, nipple clamps, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex toys, spanking, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I’ve been feeling vaguely PMS-y this week. While being on the pill keeps me from full-blown PMDD, I still get some symptoms like the blues, fatigue, frequent urination. (Yes, too much information, I realize that.) When I get to feeling out of sorts like this (but it hasn’t escalated into full-on depression) asking MasterDoc for a beating can be helpful. And he’s always happy to give it to me to prevent my mood from taking a complete nose dive.

He took some time to plan for a change. Usually since we play at home he doesn’t plan things out with me (but does when he goes out to play with one of his casual playmates). I was looking at Halloween costumes online with DeeDee, when MasterDoc reappeared from the play room with the behind the back restraints. Oh my, he thought of them! He put them on me and I sat on the sofa, my hands secured behind me. He came back out a few moments later with the nipple clamps – thankfully the adjustable ones and not the clover clamps. He commented to DeeDee that he took the time to find those instead of the clovers. One clamp was a bit bent (although my opinion is that it still could have worked) so he only put one clamp on. It worked out to either be too loose (and then fall off) or a bit of delicate breast skin would get pinched between the pressure-adjusting screw and hurt like a motherfucker.

He came out again a short while later. He had an alcohol swab and wiped off my un-clamped nipple. Yikes. I didn’t think he was seriously going to pierce it, but then you never know with him, so it made me nervous. He’s been going on lately about being in the mood for needles, and had used a few on my ass a couple of days before.

When he came out to the living room for the final time, he told me to come with him. From his new sofa I could actually get up with the restraints on (previously I couldn’t get the momentum to stand up).

In the play room, he had the spreader bar ready with cuffs attached, and the throe on the bed over the axis shape. He instructed me to lay on my stomach, and I struggled into place with my hands still secured behind. The bed in that room is too soft and I found my face being buried in the mattress, making it hard to breathe. I told him about this and he put a pillow under my head to lift my face up. He asked me to scoot up a little and I struggled while complaining that I couldn’t. He had said to me a while ago that he liked seeing me struggle in the restraints, and I hoped he enjoyed that little bit of struggle.

He attached the spreader bar to my ankles with the cuffs. I was helpless.

He beat me with four different floggers, and the lightest cane. He would intersperse the pain with a quick, intense, Hitachi massage to my cunt. Once I started to really moan he’d take it away and stop. He didn’t hold back on beating me. I was crying out in pain quite often. He flogged my upper back too, barely missing my bound hands. The prolonged infliction of pain gradually brought on an endorphin rush. My pain tolerance seemed only moderate, but I needed to feel the pain of the lash.

He continued to use the Hitachi at intervals. And he used a rough-textured rubber glove on me – scraping my sore ass, pushing into the delicate folds of my pussy as he grabbed me with it. That glove really added to the feeling of being used. That and when he’d pull a little on spreader bar to keep my legs still while flogging me.

I felt cold lube on my asshole, and he thrust a toy into there. He fucked me with it, jiggled it. We haven’t done much anal in months so I loved the feeling. He’d move on to the Hitachi again and I so wanted to come.

He teased and beat me for a good long while, duration being important when I need a therapeutic beating. He had taken ritalin that day and he used the extra energy to beat me with gusto. He used the Hitachi on my clit again and told me to come. As he pushed the vibrator against my cunt I came, moaning like crazy, trying to push back even harder against the vibrations. I liked the feeling of being made to come while bound helpless.

After an extended orgasm, he lay on the bed near my head. I asked him if we could please undo my hands as the position was suddenly uncomfortable without stimulation going on to distract me. My legs remained attached to the bar, but I snuggled up to him. He was a little sweaty, but since it was post bath it was a yummy smell – masculine, salty. Fresh sweat on a clean body can be a sexy smell, particularly when he’s worked up that sweat beating you.

I felt dazed but so much better than I had before. The next day at work, more than 12 hours after the beating, I marveled at how I still felt better from it.

Beyond The Bedroom

Published on October 8, 2010 in bdsm, commitment, D/s, dom, random thoughts, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

I can’t recall the site, but recently someone asked me if I serve MasterDoc outside of the bedroom too. I figured it might be interesting to explain the day to day, non-sexual aspects of our relationship for those who are curious.

The short answer is yes. I am not just his sexual submissive. When I first met him, sexual submission was all I had in mind. When he first set me to putting away his laundry I thought, “What the fuck?” The transition to being a service sub (in addition to a bedroom sub) was a bit difficult for me, but I think I always went along with it because I so wanted the sexual submission. I struggle with how stressful it can be to help take care of his large apartment, as well as taking care of my own apartment. It feels like there’s always chores to be done – and this is with DeeDee handling a huge amount of chores at his place currently!

But after a while, I discovered that it can feel really good serving someone. I like taking care of him and knowing that I’ve made his life easier. Sure it’s annoying when he asks me to get up and fetch him something when I’m tired, but the self-discipline that has come from learning not to gripe about it (as much) is a good trait to develop. Currently I’m in charge of putting away laundry (thankfully he takes it out to be done), scrubbing the toilets (because I really don’t get the aversion to it – you use a long-handled brush people!) and cleaning up after dinner when DeeDee cooks (or when she’s out and I cook). She cleans up when I cook, but I do it much less often than she does. Other assorted tasks are assigned as needed.

I do my best to keep things tidy. As a man with ADD, MasterDoc tends to be very messy. I pick up clothes he’s left on the floor, check the pockets carefully for items and then put them in the laundry. I try to hang up his keys when I find them not hanging on their hook. I try to help make the effects of his ADD a little less for him. I make a mental note when I see his cell phone as he’s often looking for it. I’m not perfect, I tend to make a face when I have to call his cell phone from mine for the umpteenth time in a week. Sometimes I’m feeling tired or lazy and I will try to weasel out of something. Thankfully for me, MasterDoc is a flexible and laid back person. If something does need doing immediately he will tell me and I will overcome my inertia. If not, he can let me do something in my own time.

In different ways, we both take care of each other. I realized recently that having a Dom has been a great deal like being re-parented. Bad emotional habits I learned from my parents (mainly my mother) have been dealt with by MasterDoc over the past three years. I tend to react emotionally – often over-emotionally – to things, whereas he’s a calm, logical type. He has taught me to calm down and to take a moment to see if something is truly worth getting worked up over. There are times when my emotional outbursts are due to depression brought on by a chemical imbalance, but even then I’ve been getting better and better at recognizing what is the depression talking and what is real. We’ve worked on my insecurity and now that work is bearing fruit. I have ups and downs, but I think I’m a better person for his guidance.

When we’re not being sexual (and my leather collar is not on) I don’t have to call him Sir all the time, but he does enforce it when appropriate. Whenever he gives me a direct order I’m expected to say, “Yes, Sir.” I can joke with him, tease him a bit otherwise. We hang out much like any vanilla couple. We’ll watch movies together. We’ll talk. We’ll enjoy dinner with DeeDee (usually something yummy yet healthy she’s made). We do our own thing while in the same apartment. And sometimes he goes off to the play room to have fun with DeeDee while I find something else to do in the living room. (And vice versa.) He advises me on life issues – but is careful to give me a certain amount of autonomy.

I’ve run errands with him (and for him). We’ve gone out to lunch. Many of the things any couple would do together we’ve done. We also cuddle a great deal.

I’m expected to always respect him. Complaints given in a whine will be reprimanded. But complaints given calmly will be considered. I appreciate that he doesn’t act like being a Dom means he’s perfect. He is pretty damn wonderful, but he’s human and makes mistakes. He and I do our best to be patient with each other’s mistakes and move onward and upward. I appreciate that he doesn’t hold me to an impossible standard, but he does expect good things from me – which in turn I strive to give him.

While the transition to being his submissive (rather than just a submissive playmate) has been bumpy at times, I think I’m much happier and a better person for it. I feel fortunate to have a terrific Dom. Together we’ve managed to lose a lot of weight, have fun times and weather a few storms.

Saturday Interlude

Published on September 27, 2010 in bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, D/s, dom, humiliation play, kink, libido, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, piss play, sadism, sex, sex toys, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I was just bemoaning how behind I am in blogging. MasterDoc laughed, saying, “Oh poor you, you can’t keep up blogging all the sex you have!” Yes, I’m fortunate to have lots of interesting sex. But sitting down to blog can require discipline I don’t always feel. I love writing and I love chronicling my adventures, but it is work.

Saturday morning, after googling Blondie (That’s not her porn name, by the way. I’m not sure she wants it mentioned here so I’m erring on the side of caution.) and handling other internet stuff, MasterDoc suggested sex. Hells yeah! We both bathed and got set up in the play room.

Over the past week or two I’m finally opening up to myself that I’m even pervier than I like to admit. I’m starting to admit I like humiliation play – a lot. I like him pissing on me as a humiliation thing. I love when he makes me feel totally in his control and uses me as he likes. I love being his dirty slut AND being made to feel like it.

I spoke up about craving roughness before we started. The action started with me giving him a blowjob. He choked me with his cock more than usual. Fuck, I found it so hot for him to choke me, my throat working to push his cock out as his hands held my head down. The struggle to open my throat. The saliva flowing. The gasp when I pull free and the enthusiasm with which I go right back to sucking his cock.

Blowing him is foreplay for me as well as him. Direct physical stimulation is sometimes needed to get me wet, but sucking cock is usually plenty to get me turned on. (Any other ladies find that being wet doesn’t always correlate to arousal? Near my period I’m wet all the time even without arousal, but I can be getting sexual with someone, really into it, and not that wet. Lube is invaluable.) When he gave me a rest, he made me come by command again with some slapping and getting me to focus my mind. I had been craving face slapping. My jaw felt a little sore afterward, but not for long.

He had me get on top and ride him. I loved sliding his cock into me but after holding myself up during orgasm the night before my legs were too tired out to do the thrusting. I did my best but I had to stop.

He took a moment to figure out a way to have me be reasonably comfortable, yet use me at the same time. He had me lay with my head over the end of bed. He fucked my throat and I loved it. The only bad thing was when his balls would fall over my nostrils. (I do need some air.) My hands were free so I just moved them out of the way. While fucking my mouth he slapped my pussy and made me come. Despite my little aside earlier in this post, I had no trouble getting wet during this particular interlude. I was very wet. Juicy.

I still wanted more. My already high sex drive has gotten higher lately. MasterDoc was done and ready to move on to other things, but I asked if I could masturbate. He granted permission and I quickly plugged in the Hitachi and masturbated while having fantasies about my date from the night before. The queer part of my heart is soaring to be seeing a woman for a change. A few more orgasms later I finally felt sated.

Turning Lemons into Lemonade

Published on September 18, 2010 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, D/s, dom, edge play, embarrassment, emotions, humiliation play, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, trust and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

It seems that my love of submission to MasterDoc just continues to deepen. We spent time recently at my place with the intention of “christening” it. (I’ve lived there for nearly a month and hadn’t yet had sex there.) I found that as he teased me with a scary, humiliating act I didn’t want to do, I only wanted him more. The flutter in my stomach that comes from the idea of him humiliating me leads right to my groin and turns me on. I have a fetish for being in someone else’s control. The idea of MasterDoc making me do something that I don’t want to do is hot.

The act itself, however, is not at all hot for me. That is, while I’m wildly turned on by the power he has over me, I’m not so much turned on by the idea of him pissing in my mouth. He has threatened it for a long time now and I could feel that it was coming soon. Very soon.

He teased me mercilessly about pissing in my mouth for this momentous occasion. The thing is it wasn’t teasing and I knew it. Part of me was so turned on by him exerting that kind of control over me. Part of me was terrified as the idea of having piss in my mouth just totally grosses me out. Part of me wanted to go quietly, stoically and be the good sub. But a huge part of me wanted to see if there was some way I could avoid it.

We spent time laying close on my bed. He talked to me about what he planned to do to me and he made me come in what has become the usual way – verbally. I was overwhelmed with humiliation whenever he made me think about what he planned to do (not to mention disgusted). I would do my best to let my mind wander and forget what was coming.

He took me into my bathroom and had me kneel in the tub. He positioned himself so he could pee on me without getting the floor messy. I was so anxious! Thankfully, he got too hard to pee and just had me suck his cock. Then we fucked like he had promised we would do after the piss scene. Earlier in the day he had fucked me silly and this time was the same. His every touch and every thrust feels divine. He spanked me a bit as well.

I rested in his arms after. He continued with the mind fuck of telling me he was going to piss in my mouth. I tried putting it off. I tried anything I could think of to maybe make him not do it – to no avail. And while I was scared and humiliated I was also wildly turned on and in his thrall. Of course, this arousal makes me feel more ashamed because I’m aroused by something disgusting, which only serves to arouse me more. Yes, I’m a sick freak.

He teased me about my trying to put off the inevitable. He decided that until I decided I was ready, he would drink water – lots of water. He guzzled a couple of liters, easily. Eventually it was the moment of truth and he took me back into the bathroom. He had me kneel in the shower again, told me to bend down a little and turn my head so my mouth was right by his unfortunately flaccid cock. He ordered me to turn my head. He ordered me to open my mouth. And as a good sub ever striving to be pleasing, I did. He peed into my mouth.

Now I should have mentioned that all through the teasing, he was also filling my head with the notion that I would enjoy the act, that it would please him, and that I could orgasm when his piss hit my mouth – and wouldn’t that feel good? So I stroked my cunt as he had me line up my face by his cock and while I didn’t want to come from such a disgusting, humiliating act, I had the thought, “If I’m going to have to do this, I might as well enjoy it.” I came. He only pissed in my mouth for a moment and then pissed all over me, all over my back. I could hear him chuckle gleefully as he did this. I was his dirty piss slut who came when he pissed in her mouth.

There wasn’t as strong a taste as I thought, but it was salty and then the terrible after taste – the taste took on the equivalent of the odor that old pee leaves someplace. Yuck. As soon as he was done and told me I could clean up, I turned on the faucet and wiped my tongue with dampened hands to get rid of the taste.

I showered, not quite waiting for the water to get warm enough. After the shower I was freezing and in serious need of aftercare. He cuddled me and I was feeling dazed. He actually did it. I actually let him, well, submitted to him. I actually came. Fuck.

He reminded me that he had promised a fuck after, and told me to set up my Hitachi. He fucked me from behind on my bed and thankfully we had brought my Fascinator throe along. The strong buzzing of the Hitachi against my clit paired with his big cock filling me up led to quite a series of orgasms when he gave me permission. Of course first he had me hold back. I whimpered and moaned as I was on the edge of coming and so very desperate to do so. When I came I squirted all over my hand and the throe. Not just once but a few times. I swear I must have ejected a gallon of liquid. I was totally spent after and could only collapse on the bed.

A friend asked me today if I was traumatized by the act, and I have to admit I’m not. MasterDoc and I packed up after the final fuck as it was getting late, and we walked to his place. I found myself feeling a bit physically ill – but could tell it was psychologically triggered. I asked him for more aftercare as such an intense scene left me needing much more than usual. I think an intense scene can put your body into a state of shock – that’s what it felt like to me. He held me tight on the couch and I let myself relax into his arms and feel soothed.

Strangely, I feel like this was an incredibly intimate and connecting event.

Piss Slut

Published on September 16, 2010 in bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, D/s, DeeDee, dom, edge play, embarrassment, humiliation play, hypnosis, kink, orgasm on command, piss play, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I think MasterDoc is enjoying his new found power to make me come pretty much at will. While we were just sitting on the sofa Monday night he played with my hair, teasing me. I melted a bit and he make a sly remark to DeeDee. I turned to look at him and he was beaming, knowing that if he wanted to he could make me come then.

While the night before I was deeply unsettled by his scope of power, the next night I thought it was incredibly hot. I do love to submit, and the way he can just pull orgasms out of me these days is amazing and an intense act of submission for me.

Later, the three of us (MasterDoc, DeeDee and me) adjourned to the play room. MasterDoc had to get us under control as we were joking and pontificating – when we should have been “getting freaky.” DeeDee sucked his cock, while MasterDoc had me lean in close to him, kiss him and he played with my hair. Fuck. He made me come by that bit of intimacy. He made DeeDee come on command was well.

He didn’t touch my cunt and yet gave me whole body orgasms while DeeDee sucked him. It’s a sexy sound to hear a woman gasp with passion (and for air) after taking a cock in deep. She kept at him for even longer than he intended, and he made me come again and again. The next day I spotted some bruises on my upper arm, and I realized that he must have bitten me – but I was too busy coming to notice!

After these many orgasms for DeeDee and I, she collapsed on one side of the bed and I put a blanket over her at MasterDoc’s request. (She needs a lie down and blanket for aftercare.) He leaned over her at some point, nibbling on her, teasing, and I got to watch him make DeeDee come by starting on the first line of “rock a bye baby.” For some unknown reason I hadn’t thought of him planting different triggers to make her come, but of course he has. Mine is “good girl,” hers must be “rock a bye baby.” Who says we’re not playing with erotic hypnotism?

DeeDee asked to be excused and was allowed to leave. She asked if we wanted any water and went off to get some. MasterDoc lay on the bed next to me musing that he needed to go pee. He didn’t give me a knowing look this time, so it came as a surprise when he told me it was time for me to be pissed on.

He sent me into the bathroom, and I sat waiting on the side of the tub. I felt subby, small and liked it. I waited with complete composure and my head bowing down. He came in a couple of minutes later and played with my hair, holding me close to him. He made me come and thankfully he was holding onto me as my body contracted. I felt my legs push against the side of the tub involuntarily and he stood behind me, holding me up.

As I came down from that high, he instructed me to lay down in the bathtub. The tub was cold and he joked about needing to warm me up with his piss. He had me spread my legs and gave the instruction that I could come when he pissed on me. Fuck. I hate that he makes me come like that! He pissed on me for a long time – it always surprises me a little how long he can pee for. He also wanted me to piss myself at the end, but I’m skeptical that I can do right after orgasm. When my pussy is swollen from arousal I have a hard time peeing anyway – and I’m pee shy, so peeing in front of someone is pretty damn difficult.

He told me to rinse off, and I did, feeling shame that I came from him peeing on me and that my pussy was wet and swollen without anyone touching it that evening.

I really needed aftercare after an intense scene that sparks such shame in me. I asked for it as he had joined DeeDee on the sofa while I rinsed off. I’m proud of myself getting much better voicing my needs calmly rather than holding them in or having an outburst. We cuddled in the play room, and with more physical and emotional intimacy generated between us, he made me come again.

MasterDoc’s Puppet

Published on September 15, 2010 in blow jobs, D/s, dom, embarrassment, kink, orgasm on command, prostate massage, sex, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

The sort of connection MasterDoc and I have developed can be startling. We were cuddling before dinner on Sunday, laying on the bed with him spooned up behind me. He started languidly playing with my hair, petting me. Just from these gentle, deliberate touches I slip into subspace and arousal within seconds. And in what was probably no more than a minute or two (perhaps less) he grabbed hold of my hair and told me to come and I did. My whole body tensed and as I came, moaning, he reached down to touch my pussy gently through my panties. It felt like I came for a longer period of time than the build up – but when you’re coming it can be difficult to gauge time.

I was stunned in a way. I mean, it’s not a total surprise as we’ve been working towards this for a very long time, but that evening I felt unsettled knowing the level of control he has over me and my reactions.

He did this again later when we adjourned to the play room after dinner. He made me come again through his expert touch. This is wonderful and a bit novel. Sometimes though, my pussy wants to be touched. Sometimes I want him to be rough with touching me rather than gentle. I don’t mean this to sound like a complaint. He makes me come so hard that I lose control of my body and my thoughts. I writhe and convulse as my brain turns to mush. Considering that some women never have an orgasm, I’m pretty damn lucky.

Now, he’s very generous but it was definitely time for me to make him feel amazing. I sucked his cock at his command. I wanted him to choke me on his cock, but then I hit upon an idea – I could choke myself. I thrust his cock in deep, held it there, and then saliva started flowing as my gag reflex was triggered. This enabled me to give a sloppy, wet blowjob. He was hard in no time, but I was enjoying myself so much I was actually a little disappointed when he told me to get on top and fuck him. (Only a little! Fucking is a wonderful alternative activity.)

I slipped a condom on his rigid cock and straddled him. I rubbed his cock against my pussy for a while, teasing myself a little. Then I slid it in. I love the moment when it fills me and I can feel it throughout my vaginal canal. I rode his cock to phenomenal orgasm. I worried a little in my frenzy about putting too much weight on him, but at many moments I didn’t have the bodily control to hold myself up. I continued to come even after my cunt pushed his cock out with its violent contractions. My cunt continued to throb and I continued to orgasm until I was spent.

After I recovered, feeling thankful to have such an amazing Dom (with an amazing cock – I’ve joked with him that we should make copies of it and sell it as a dildo), he told me he wanted a prostate massage. He lay on his back. I caressed and massaged his buttocks and inner thighs. I lubed up my fingers and started massaging the outside of his anus. I put more lube on and worked my finger inside him. I felt around until I could feel the walnut-like texture of the prostate gland. I massaged it for several minutes – pressing harder when he told me to. He stroked his cock and when he was ready to come it dribbled out onto his tummy. I don’t know if it was because the gland had been massaged, but his come looked a lot like snot. I had been thinking just before he came that it would be hot to lick his come up, but when I saw it I was glad I had held off with that idea!

After he came I worked my finger out slowly, massaging the walls of his anus towards the front and then continuing on the outside up the midline of his perineum, up past his balls and up the shaft of his cock a bit. It gets the last drops of come out of him and judging from his twitches it feels good too.

Satisfied Slut

Published on September 7, 2010 in bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, D/s, dom, edge play, hypnosis, kink, masochism, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting, submissive, Uncategorized and wartenburg wheel. 0 Comments

In the flurry of activity surrounding my move and setting up house by myself, I’ve been slow to blog about things. Once I’m more settled I should get back to a more regular posting pattern. I also hit a depression earlier lsdy week and it totally killed my libido. Moving is stressful. Parting ways with someone you think the world of but didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with anymore is stressful. My depression put a strain on my relationship with MasterDoc, but to his credit he looks past the obvious endogenous depression hyperbole my complaints take on during such a period and he acknowledges the kernel of truth behind them. I love that we work on things when either of us is not perfect – which of course is all the time! I need to learn to soften my words when I’m upset so I don’t hurt him. He needs to understand that a time of great stress in my life is not a time to push me to be self-reliant.

As the depression lifted we could have good talks about these things and I’m feeling very happy about our relationship again. My libido started to return, but my head was still in a space of feeling undesirable and taken for granted. He listened well this time when I said what I needed, and Friday night we had some time alone in the playroom.

Lots of cuddles were in order, but also some cock sucking. He touched me a lot and his touch was very healing. I crave physical contact sometimes, I think it comes from a having family who were always very withholding with physical affection. My memories of Friday night are a bit fuzzy. I think the orgasms erased all around them, and I just remember coming so very hard. He grabbed hold of my hair many times and this feeling of him having control over me was absolutely soothing. Being submissive can be a release. I can let go of my rambling thoughts plaguing me with things I need to get done. In that period of time I am just his.

He had me ride his cock and he worked hard thrusting up into me. For some reason I felt a bit sore when he plunged deep, but in the mindset I had that evening, the little bit of pain was delicious and arousing. He grabbed a tight hold of me and made me come until I was laying on him like a wet noodle.

Earlier that night as we discussed how well he can make me come now by just telling me to, he said that from now on, when he says, “Good girl” I am supposed to come.

The following evening as he caressed me and brought me into subspace with just some gentle touching he said, “Good girl.” The first time he said it it didn’t register with me. I didn’t immediately remember his directive from the night before. He said it again, however, and as my mind registered the meaning of the phrase I started to come. Something in me fought it, but the orgasm won. It can be disconcerting at times how well he can control me with just his mind. “No!” a part of me said, “He can’t possibly make me orgasm just by telling me ‘good girl’!” But indeed he can.

He got the canes out after this and he tapped on my clit with the cane tip. He slapped my pussy. He lightly caned my inner thighs. That night I was craving roughness. I expressed this to him and he took me up on it – not necessarily in the ways I envisioned, but then he wouldn’t be in control if he did everything just as I want it. He looked at me evilly as he picked up the clover clamps and the Wartenburg wheel. My nipples would have recoiled if they could, but thankfully he wasn’t heading for my nipples. He placed one clamp on my right outer labia. The pain from the pressure was intense but I breathed through the pain as he told me to do. He attached the other clamp to my other labia and the pain was something else. But you know you’re a masochist when you think, “Oh my god that hurts. Oh my got that hurts. Holy shit, I want to come.”

He told me to come and despite, or perhaps because of, the pain on my labia I came hard. He ran the pinwheel over my skin as I came and the sensations were so very stimulating. Mid-orgasm, no pain existed. The orgasm was all that existed for me. As I came down, the pain resumed and he took the clamps off. More pain shot through my labia as the blood rushed back to those previously clamped spots. He tapped on my sore lips a bit, making me quiver.

I lay there a moment recovering and discussing with him how odd it feels to be so turned on by him hurting me. It goes along with the dominance aspect – he has such control over me that he can make me hurt if he wishes to.

He had me lay at the end of the bed with my head hanging over it. It was an experiment as we weren’t sure I could take a cock deep in my mouth from that angle. But jeez it was amazing. At times his balls fell over my nose and made it hard to breathe, but I simply held them out of the way gently. When I’d start to really gag on his cock I’d feel a slight bit of panic, but then he’d take his cock out for a moment and instantly I was ready to go again. The roughness, the using me, made me so hot. I possibly could have come from that alone He grabbed my tits as he slid his cock into my mouth from above.

After a rest, he had me present my ass to him, and he lubed up and inserted by medium Njoy pure plug.

He teased me, and I had a hard time figuring out what exactly was penetrating my cunt. He had me move to the end of the bed so he could fuck me from behind – and he was so very kind as to give me the Hitachi to use. The sensation of my vibrating clit, paired with feeling completely filled up by his cock and the butt plug, threw me headlong to the edge. He told me to come and I had over the top orgasms for what seemed like several minutes. I did not want to stop. Everything around me was blotted out and only my orgasms existed. It was like having a mental version of tunnel vision. I squirted much more than usual – I could feel a gush from my cunt and the fluid run over my hand holding the Hitachi. I gushed again as he continued to make me come and it was truly amazing. I must have squirted twice as much as I would usually squirt (when I squirt).

I wish I could convey the mental intimacy that goes along with our sex. It definitely enhances the sex tenfold but it’s one of those things that is particular to the two people involved.

He had me keep the butt plug in and I got up for a snack. Unfortunately with the lube and the smoothness (and the weight) of the plug it started to slip out while I was fixing a snack in the kitchen. I hope no one was looking out their window across from us as the blinds were soaking in the tub and his neighbors could have easily seen me reach back and slide the plug back in. He let me take it out a little later because I had to walk all sorts of clenched in order to keep it in.

I was satiated and tired. I’m pretty sure I slept soundly that night.