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Another Night of Debauchery

Published on May 22, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunnilingus, exhibitionism, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, sex toys, slut and sybian. 1 Comment

Last night we attended a kink party run by a Master whose parties we’ve been to a few times. MasterDoc has been providing his sybian in exchange for our entrance to the party. While it’s wonderful having the sybian there sometimes it’s a drag because MasterDoc gets asked to run the machine, rather than spending time playing with me. I love watching women on the sybian, so a certain amount of this is just fine and dandy, but it’s hard to feel ignored for an extended period of time. Luckily MasterDoc checks in with me and he made sure that I wasn’t left to my own devices too long. Part of the issue I’m sure is my shyness. If I was more outgoing and would go chat with people then maybe I wouldn’t feel so lonely when he doesn’t have his attention on me.

MasterDoc dropped me off with the sybian and our toys so he could park the car without having to lug the sybian far. I went with the organizer and set up the sybian, then I opted to stay in that back room by myself because I was feeling especially shy – and I had gotten into subspace pretty quickly. I wore my collar and sat patiently waiting for MasterDoc. With my leather waist cincher on I sat up straight with my hands demurely in my lap. A couple of men spoke to me a little, but for the most part I was on my own.

While I was sitting there, I realized that part of submission for me is to let go and be taken care of. I felt really like I needed MasterDoc there for me to function well. It’s not an easy way to feel – I felt helpless. But there’s something about dropping my defenses so totally and letting him be in charge that is soothing. I love when he takes care of me. Thankfully my neediness last night didn’t seem to annoy him – I realize that sometimes neediness can be overwhelming and can hamper the enjoyment of the night. But he seemed to be firmly in “take care of Nadia” mode himself, so it worked out well.

There was an adult baby there, and MasterDoc saw this as somewhat sexy for the first time. While being a baby is not my thing, I have to admit that where I didn’t understand age play at all until about a year ago I now realize that it would be lovely to be a little girl for a while. To be nurtured by the loving adult (my Dom). To be guided by him. I felt adrift for much of my childhood, and so it’s not surprising that getting that sort of attention as an adult would seem appealing to me. I often couldn’t rely on my mother – emotionally mainly – and being able to truly trust and rely on someone just sounds super special. If you think like I previously did, please know that age play is not at all about playing with actual children. It’s about being able to be in a head-space where one of you regresses for a while and the other is the nurturer (or disciplinarian, whatever you agree upon). You’re both always consenting adults and this is key. It’s a form of role play, and I think we all know that it can be hot or fun or comforting to play a role that we don’t live in real life. (Think of someone who’s straitlaced in real life getting to role play a raunchy prostitute. She doesn’t become a prostitute, but she gets to enjoy, for while, being wanton like she envisions a prostitute to be.)

While I waited for MasterDoc at the beginning of the evening, I chuckled at myself when I realized what a stereotype I am – I’ m a mild mannered librarian by day and a sexual freak at night. At a kink party you see people as these sexual, exciting, kinky people, and you forget that during their day to day lives they’re probably as ordinary as everyone else. During the slave auction, a submissive male who is a doctor in real life was being auctioned off. (Not to mention MasterDoc being on the other end of the D/s spectrum and a doctor as well.) Being a kinkster is just part of a whole, but it’s such a relief when you can express that part and integrate it with the rest of you. Keeping it totally hidden is so hard.

When MasterDoc got there, he found me and we cuddled a bit. I told him how I was feeling exceptionally shy and he had me suck his cock since he knew that would make me feel better. Ha ha. It actually did as it got me out of my head full of worries and into doing something hot. This didn’t last long unfortunately as he needed to use the bathroom, but it was a nice interlude all the same.

Our friend V. was there with a friend of hers. She doesn’t have any marks from the beating MasterDoc gave her on Monday, but my ass is still pretty bruised from him giving me a similar beating on Tuesday night. It was good to see her. Her friend seems nice enough but the poor guy is going through a rough marriage breakup, so he’s dealing with a whole lot of unpleasant emotions right now.

I was clutching to MasterDoc’s arm while we all talked. I was a bit off to the side so I missed bits of the conversation, which I was kind of thankful for when some sort of evil idea was suggested to MasterDoc and he ultimately decided not to do it to me. (“I don’t know what you were thinking and I don’t think I want to know!”) MasterDoc got out the Gigi vibe and made me spread my legs. Very few people were playing so early in the evening, and we were in a somewhat well lit area. My shyness and nerves impeded progress a little, but ultimately I shut my eyes and let him get me worked up with the vibe. I actually spoke up to let him know that I wanted him to hold it more firmly against my clit. He made me come in front of so many people, telling me I’m a good girl the whole time. It was lovely.

MasterDoc had had me pack a bondage outfit I dreamed up a while ago. I was excited that we were going to finally use it, but alas we didn’t around to it. The idea is for me to be in my waist cincher, the behind the back restraints, gagged, Njoy butt plug up my butt and nipple clamps on my nipples. I’m keeping up hope we’ll use it sometime soon.

I can’t really complain though. I got to see a very sexy Bosnian woman take a sybian ride. It’s fascinating how much I can get aroused and enjoy the sybian ride vicariously. I totally had the hots for this woman, but she’s a submissive to the party organizer, and while very friendly she mostly stayed with her sister subs. I felt bad for her, as her Dom likes lengthy orgasm control – so she got a sybian ride but was not allowed to come for a very long time. I am so lucky that MasterDoc is not into any sort of long term orgasm control.

After her ride, things broke up around us a bit, and MasterDoc checked in on me. While during her ride I was perfectly happy watching, after I started feeling sad that the organizer was lining up more of his women for rides – when we walked into the back room initially the intention had been to give me a ride. MasterDoc acknowledged that this can be hard, and since everyone else was busy elsewhere, he gave me my ride then. Before long I was screaming in orgasm and humping the machine. I flailed around, grabbing onto MasterDoc and the chair he was sitting on. I could feel him laughing a bit as I totally lost control. I buried my face into his chest and thrashed around. It feels so good that I want it to last forever, but it’s also physically taxing so I eventually feel like I can’t take any more.

I lay down on the mat beside the sybian after, and MasterDoc gave me some wonderful aftercare and cuddles. I rested for what seemed like a good long while.

After I got up, another lady came for a sybian ride – this one being one of the sub sisters of the woman I had the hots for. The woman I had the hots for asked if she could hold her sister while on the sybian while MasterDoc ran the sybian from off to the side. He of course agreed to this (one of the things I love about him is that he puts the comfort and pleasure of the women above whatever hankering he may have for having a sexy woman grab on to him). That sybian ride turned into one of the hottest things I have ever seen. The sister starts suckling on sexy woman’s full breasts, and after a bit works her way down to going down on her – while still getting a sybian ride. Fucking hell! I had a ringside seat to tremendous hotness. I craved joining in, but of course not knowing either of the women I didn’t just jump in. I eventually got over my shyness and asked the sexy woman if I she would mind if I played with her tits. She replied, “No, not at all.” Rowr. I tugged on her nipples, sucked the nearest one and did my best to add to the pleasure of this curvy woman.

It was damn hot.

When MasterDoc got asked to give another ride, I realized that with V. there I could go visit with her rather than feeling neglected or bored. I asked permission to go find her and of course it was granted. She was being flogged by her friend when I found her, so I sat nearby and watched until they were finished. (Their play came to a close when nearby a submissive male allegedly touched a Domme’s ass without asking and she went ballistic on him. And as a feminist I think it’s damn wonderful that there are dominant women who will put out of line men in their place. She was firm, she was clear and I bet he would think thrice before doing anything like that again. Permission guys. You need to get permission.)

I hung out with V. for a few minutes and MasterDoc appeared after the sybian ride. It was getting late and while I loved my time being around perverts, it was time to head home. We packed up our stuff and I waited outside with the toys until MasterDoc brought the car around.

I went home a really happy camper. Oh sure I felt disappointment at not having been bound in the behind the back restraints and led around the party. But I had had such a good time that I didn’t want to mention this and make MasterDoc think I was in any way unhappy. We got to bed around 4 a.m. and slept til noon.

Life is good.

“Do it to Julia!”

Published on March 27, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, attraction, bdsm, blow jobs, commitment, cunnilingus, dom, embarrassment, emotions, exhibitionism, happy, horny, humiliation play, kink, libido, masochism, masturbation, musings, non-monogamy, optimism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, poly, sadism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and trust. 1 Comment

I’ve spent plenty of time the last two months bitching about struggling through PMS. I’m happy to say this month is better, but even though it seems like all is well, I can tell that in a way my mood has gone a bit manic this time. I’m not bipolar, but I think even in regular depression sometimes your mood will swing the other way – just far less often than a person with bipolar might experience. I find myself giddy this month, googly-eyed lovey, eager to do things. I went for an hour long walk today. I never do that! So while the symptoms this month could be described as “positive” I think it’s just another side of the coin from the “negative” symptoms of the past few months. I’m out of balance emotionally like I am every month, it’s just that this month seems more positive.

Last night I had a wonderful night out with MasterDoc. My giddy, lovey mood made me really appreciate how happy I am with him. I really got into our dynamic and realized how fulfilling it is for me. It’s funny, because I constantly struggle with two different desires – there’s a part of me that’s independent and wants to make my own damn decisions but there’s another part of me that wants nothing more than for him to have control. These two parts sometimes conflict. A part of me says that I shouldn’t just let someone else control me like he does, but then I am so turned on and so happy when he does take control.

When we arrived at the swing club, he poured us some water since the bartender wasn’t around. I had said I was thirsty and I couldn’t wait until the water was poured. But, rather than hand it to me, he took a drink first. I wanted to say something as I was so thirsty, but the look he gave me said it all. “I want to make sure you remember your place,” he said to me. I went weak in the knees.

All last night, I found that being his slut was hotter than anything else. I realized that while we do sometimes like swinging with others, there are times like last night where the real kink being satisfied out at the swing club is that I’m his whore, and he gets to show off just what I will do for him. He gets to talk to me like I’m a dirty slut in front of everyone and I don’t object but instead am obviously turned on. I follow his command without hesitation or argument when he tells me to suck his cock, or take my clothes off, or come.

I have moments when I worry that some people are judging me for being such a whore. But then I get so turned on by it that I forget to feel embarrassed. While some might judge me, I think that most people find how I am to be phenomenally hot. The single men at the club are all eager to talk to us in the hopes of joining in. I’m not gorgeous, I’m fat and flabby, but I am a sex goddess there. And I am his. He gets to be the guy who has control over this nymph who wants to fuck and fuck and fuck. (And the reason I want to fuck and fuck and fuck is because I’m so fucking turned on by him.) We’re parts of a whole. It’s a dynamic. I give up control, he takes control and we’re both happy in those states.

Just when I thought I was tired from coming, I’d look into his eyes again and I’d start breathing shallowly and I’d ache for him to touch me and make me come. He can make me come without even touching any of the typical erogenous zones. For me, the hottest part of sex is the mind-fuck, the control. While the stimulation of my pussy is wonderful, the fact that he controls when I come makes the fucking amazingly more intense. I realized last night that being submissive and kinky really are integral parts of my personality. As my Dom, he fulfills me so much that I am willing to struggle with insecurity and jealousy because sharing him with others is still way better than not having him in my life. I think I’m also starting to grow more secure. I’ve been making a concerted effort to focus on the positive and I have started noticing things I’d ignore before in favor of dwelling on the negative. I noticed last night, truly noticed and internalized, how much he enjoys being with me. And I’m starting to see that his wanting to spend time with others doesn’t diminish that. Since I’ve grown so very fond of DeeDee, I can totally see why he wants to spend time with her. And that makes it easier to go busy myself with something else when they want time alone. (She does the same for me.)

Is this a breakthrough or just the hyper-happiness of PMS? I really hope it’s the former.

Unlike most entries I’m not really telling the story of what sex acts we did last night. It just doesn’t seem as interesting to me as capturing what goes on mentally. He made me suck his cock and he choked me on it in front of everyone. He fingered me to orgasm in front of an audience, he made me come by just stroking my legs, butt, hip and breasts. He made me come over and over, uncontrollably. I squirted a huge puddle a couple of times. He fucked me hard and spanked me with the hard wooden paddle. He let some random guy eat me out, and I didn’t so much come from his abilities (which were ok but not great) but I came from knowing I was doing it because I’m MasterDoc’s slut. He made me come with my pants on just by grabbing my hair and talking dirty to me. I was so afraid I’d squirt in my pants!

I just kept thinking about how I’m really his whore and I will do nearly anything for him. That sort of power strikes me as scary at some moments, but I always come back to the key point that makes it not scary – he would never do anything to truly hurt me. He pushes my limits. He gets me to do things I thought I would never do, but he has never, not once done anything damaging to me. And even on the rare occasions where something didn’t quite work, he is fast to talk things over and make sense of what the issue was so he could avoid it in the future. Sometimes I think that it’s weird for a modern, feminist woman to be so deeply devoted to him, but I am.

The title of this entry came from MasterDoc, who of course got the line from George Orwell’s novel 1984. Near the end of the story, the main character (Winston) is locked up by the totalitarian government. They make him betray his love, Julia, by scaring him to death with something he fears the most (I want to say it was rats but I can’t recall). They make him break down and tell them that he wants them to do this horrible thing to Julia, not him. They make Winston betray her. MasterDoc has a knack for talking about something kinky and difficult and possibly painful, and he is good at making DeeDee and I encourage him to do it to the other, as long as he’s not doing it to us. He thinks this is hot. lol He really does like having power and control, doesn’t he?

You’re Putting a Needle Through Where?

Published on March 15, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, edge play, emotions, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, shio, slut, squirting and submissive. 2 Comments

If you were to meet MasterDoc socially, you’d find him to be a really nice, witty, flirty guy (at least if you’re female). So it would probably then surprise you when he goes into Dom-mode: suddenly he becomes forceful, sadistic, and a world class mind-fucker. (And don’t I love it!) We were on the bed last night, getting ready to fool around and his demeanor changed into Dom-mode.

The back story that led to this: I noted that he had something stuck in his teeth, and I felt too squeamish to pick at it myself to help him clear it so he decided to point out that, “Maybe it’s time I spit in your mouth.” This shut me up but good and I did overcome my squeamishness to help him clear the debris. He went on for a while pontificating if he should spit in my mouth first, or piss in it first. If you’re not kinky, this probably appalls you. If you are kinky, it’s pretty damn hot isn’t it? I put my head down on the bed, cringing. I was afraid he would actually do one or both of those things last night. “Are you my piss slut?” he asked me. I was already sliding into subspace from his mind-fuckery and I gave the proper response, a hesitant “Yes, Sir.”

“Good, you’re already getting into the proper head space,” he said. He made me look at him and I could feel the blood throbbing in my veins. The idea of him forcing me to do things that are positively vile is strangely erotic. I hoped beyond hope that it was just a mind fuck and I lucked out – this time. I love the mind fuck more than I’d love the pissing in my mouth, I can tell you. But without the very real threat of him actually doing it, the mind fuck might not work as well.

He had me get my collar and a bunch of other items needed for our play time. Most notably, he had me get the needles and alcohol wipes. After arraying the lube, condoms, dildoes, etc. on the bed I lay down on my back as he opened the needle box.

“Have you ever thought about me piercing your outer labia?”

I cringed, afraid that this would hurt like hell. He pointed out that it’s the less-sensitive outer labia he was talking about, but then realized that it’s thicker than the inner labia, so perhaps it’s not less painful. He stroked my cunt a bit while he talked about this, and I grew more and more aroused and my breath sped up. The words coming out of his mouth were enough to drive me into a frenzy, and before we even got around to using any needles he was rubbing my clit and telling me to come. I came very hard, squirting. He had used only the slightest physical stimulation, but a huge amount of mental stimulation, to make me come.

“Wow,” was all I could say afterward. I thanked him for the delicious orgasm.

He got back on track with the needles, however, and swabbed down my labia with an alcohol wipe. Of course this burned a little bit, but not as bad as I might have thought it would. He pulled a fresh needle out of its case, and told me to contain my motion. I steeled myself to hold still and he pushed the needle through my right outer labia. Wow. That hurt. It took me a little while to slow my breathing, although this wasn’t entirely due to pain, but also due to arousal. He leaned up to kiss me and whisper naughty things and his t-shirt caught a little on the needle, causing more pain.

He licked my clit a little and while I was aroused he slid the needle out, which hurt just about as much as it going in. While I was still trying to process the pain, he licked my clit and diverted my attention into horniness. Before long I was coming again at his command. I had another mind-blowing, extended orgasm.

Fuck, I’m a lucky girl.

That would have been more than enough, but also I was up for more and I was so pleased when he decided we weren’t done. I stroked his chest, lusting after him. He got into position for me to ride his cock and I joyfully sucked his cock when it went down a little bit. I was so horny, so lustful and I couldn’t get enough of his cock in my mouth. I finally tore myself away to get on top and ride him. My left hip seized shortly after we started, but he massaged the area and it loosened up enough to let me get caught up in how great it felt having my clit rub against his body as I rode him like a mad woman. Seriously, I fucked like a slut in heat.

And he let me have another orgasm. Yes, he is good to me. I could never survive a Dom who demanded extended orgasm control.

His internet and cable were out due to the terrible storm we had in the area over the weekend, so we really had nothing else to do but fuck. And so I was lucky and he had me kneel at the edge of the bed and he fucked me standing up. It felt so good that I nearly didn’t mind that I wasn’t coming for an extended period of time. I’m not sure how long he fucked me, but damn it felt amazing and I have worried more and more lately that he will manage to force me to come without getting his permission first. When he gave the word, I came and squirted yet again.

All this was absolutely amazing and we were laying on the bed recovering while he decided if he wanted to come last night. I was not only happy to help him come, I was so turned on playing with his body. I massaged his ass and thighs. I paid attention when he told me I could touch his asshole more firmly. And then in a stroke of inspiration (which is sadly not often enough since I’m such a slut for being told what to do) I licked his balls. I continued licking his balls as he came and I pressed on his asshole with my fingers. I helped massage his perineum to extend the good feelings and made him twitch some more.

Cuddles followed and I felt so very good. He told me that I needed to make the orgasms last, as he gave me one for each day he won’t see me this week. Work stress got in the way of that today, but writing this blog entry takes me back to those good feelings. Is it any wonder I want to spend as much time as possible with this man?

In the midst of all this, as I cuddled up to him at one point, he whispered in my ear, “I am very, very happy with you.” My insecurity was lifted for a time, and I said, “Thank you, Sir.” I took a few moments to try to internalize what he said. I spend too much time focusing on negatives. I did my best for once to focus on the positive.

Fucking with an Audience

Published on March 11, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, emotions, exhibitionism, humiliation play, kink, masochism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking and squirting. 2 Comments

I recently spent a few days at MasterDoc’s and I took a day off from work to spend more time with him. We took advantage of my being off work and went out to the swing club the evening before. It was the kind of evening where I thrill to even the touch of his hand as we walked to the club. I was happy that we settled in a bed pretty quickly once we got to the club and started fooling around, with quite an audience forming.

I can’t recall the precise order of things. I know he had me put my collar on. I know he took the time to ask me if I was happy that I was going to get sex. (I felt insecure the other day when he wasn’t interested and needed reassurance that it wasn’t that he didn’t want sex with me (since, as I insecurely thought at the time, DeeDee must have met his needs the weekend before). I admitted openly at that time that I was aware it was my insecurity speaking.) He admonished me to focus more on the good things and less on the bad. He pointed out that being needy and clingy wouldn’t get me more time with him, it’s actually more likely to do the opposite.

At some point in the evening he slapped my face a bit as the crowd formed. I felt a little like he was upset with me and there seemed to be more public humiliation than usual that night. This could just be my perception, I don’t know. He also spanked me for a while, but the sensation felt good.

I was pleased to suck his cock as a bunch of guys watched. I thought about how hot it is that I’m his slut and that he can get me to do what he wants in front of all those guys. I thought about how it must be hot for him to be able to exhibit this control. As I sucked his cock he loosened the halter top I had on and he groped my ass. It had to have been clear to the audience that he could do pretty much anything he wanted to do with me.

I sucked and deep throated as much as possible, and I think I managed to control my gag reflex pretty well. Now if only I could control it when I have a gag in my mouth. (Gags often literally make me gag.) He had me take a break and we cuddled. I was happy to cuddle, I needed that as much as I needed the sex. But I was also hot for him as I stroked his chest.

He had me spread my legs and he slapped my pussy pretty hard. The guys around us made appreciative comments. Like my usual shy exhibitionist self I didn’t really look at them. He had me turn around so my head was near the end of the bed, and he fucked me from behind. He let a couple of guys touch me while he did this – groping my tits and such. He spanked my ass. He made me come hard and I squirted all over the sheets. The guys around us loved that. Some talked about wanting me to squirt on their faces.

We rested for a while but somehow ended up fooling around again in short order. He had me get between his legs as he sat higher than me on the pillows, facing the crowd. I had to get my body low on the bed to suck his cock and lick the flesh next to his balls. He told me a few times to get in there with my tongue, and again there was hotness over the fact that I was his submissive slut, burying her face in his crotch. I’m sure the guys around us, dominant types or no, were truly envious of him.

He fucked me a second time and I came screaming and squirting all over again. He tried to have me give a hand job to one of the guys nearby while he did this but I couldn’t hold myself up on one arm. (I suppose that’s one bonus when you have a young, fit sub – she or he can get into and hold positions I can’t. Oh well, this is real life and not porn.)

I was happily cuddling him when he had me lay on my back so one of the guys could touch me. The guy played with my pussy – not bad, not spectacular. Then he asked (somewhat pleadingly) if he could lick my pussy. MasterDoc let him and he did a good job. I came some more and hopefully the guy was all sorts of happy that I did manage to squirt a little bit with him. He fingered me at the same time, and I found myself wondering what he thought the menstrual cup I had inside me was. I ultimately realized he probably thought it was some form of birth control and I stopped worrying.

We had to ask him to stop as I was exhausted. I think MasterDoc felt somewhat victorious to exhaust me. We lay on the bed for a while resting before we got up and headed home. It was a fairly early night for us, but I had been quite well fucked in that time frame.

Saturday Interlude

Published on March 10, 2010 in Uncategorized, anal, blow jobs, cunnilingus, dom, masturbation, orgasm on command, sex and sex toys. 0 Comments

A funny after comment on my Pain and Healing post: MasterDoc wasn’t feeling “into” it that day. He says that it’s one of maybe only two times he’s fooled around with me because I needed it and despite his lack of interest in that moment. Damn, imagine how hot it would have been if he were into it as well? I’m very lucky to have such a wonderful Dom who will take care of me when I’m depressed.

Saturday we fooled around and both of us were into it. I took a little bit to warm up – I may be frequently horny but I do need foreplay. It was a very casual sort of dalliance, he decided not to put my collar on. I hungrily sucked his cock for a while then he positioned himself between my legs and licked my clit.

He doesn’t go down on me often, but when he does he’s quite good at it. Now for those who are easily squicked, yes I have my period just now but as usual I used an instead cup and washed off down there right after inserting it. It seems like he goes down on me more frequently when I have my period, but I don’t have hard stats to back that up. I wonder if it’s a pheromone sort of thing.

He teased me with his lips and tongue. I lay back, closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling. I don’t come often from oral, but he really worked me up. He interspersed the oral attention with the magic wand, even trying to put his tongue on my clit while leaning the vibrating wand against his tongue. (Left his tongue feeling numb!) He pressed the wand hard against my clit and told me to come. I came at his command as usual, and I apparently pulled his hair while coming. I was only vaguely aware of my doing this.

We were going to fuck with me on top, but his cock didn’t cooperate. (He had forgotten to take a “happy pill” (aka viagra) and sometimes under these circumstances his cock doesn’t work as we want it to.) We rested a bit, and I stroked his chest. He got hard again and decided to fuck me from behind. It felt good, but alas he wasn’t fully hard so it wasn’t up to its usual amazingness. That was absolutely fine with me.

He really wanted to come, so I gladly played with his ass while he jerked off. We had gotten a couple of insertables ready to put in his ass (condoms on the toys), but as I massaged his ass and anus he came pretty quickly. I love how when I keep massaging him afterwards he twitches several times. Before MasterDoc I hadn’t really known that the stimulation shouldn’t just end when the guy has ejaculated. Now I know better.

Überslut: Paradocs

Published on January 24, 2010 in Uncategorized, anal, bisexuality, blow jobs, couple, cunnilingus, non-monogamy, sex, shio, squirting and swinging. 1 Comment

Bdsm is not the only way we like to have sex. MasterDoc started on his kinky path by being a swinger. We met up with a couple last night who live pretty close to him. It turns out the husband is a doctor too, and the wife (lucky woman!) is a stay-at-home wife. She clearly keeps their apartment in wonderful shape.

We weren’t sure exactly what the couple looked like, after all on their swing profile they had only body photos. We were pleasantly surprised. The woman was pretty and while the man didn’t initially make me go wow, it was clear early on that I’d enjoy getting naked with them.

So it was different being there not as a submissive (my collar was left at home) but as MasterDoc’s girlfriend. The couple are European and were very hospitable – offering us wine, drinks, apples. I had a little wine to relax a bit and it helped. (Yes, I can be shy! At first anyway.)

After some talking, the man told his wife that he was going to dance with me. So he took my hand and we swayed to the music they had playing in the background. Our hands roamed each other’s bodies. I couldn’t see MasterDoc behind me but I knew he and the wife were getting things started. The man kissed me passionately and took his time getting my breasts out of my low cut top. Later that night, MasterDoc discovered a hickey on my neck.

When I turned around, MasterDoc had the wife’s lovely, full breasts out of her top. She’s apparently quite bisexual as well and was keen to come over to play with me. When she reached me, I took her breasts in my hands and played with the nipples, she did the same to mine. Her husband stood behind her and reached around to touch both of us. (MasterDoc nipped off to the bathroom at this point.) When MasterDoc returned he was surprised that a Nadia sandwich wasn’t going on. He joined us, and I started to unbutton his shirt as he was the only one with a shirt still on. I stroked both doctor’s cocks through their pants. The four of us touched, caressed, kissed, licked. It was easily the most vanilla sex I’ve had in a long time. Soft music, low lighting, lots of slow caressing. While it’s not my preferred method of lovemaking, the change is nice now and then.

We all retired to the bedroom and I was already quite wet. I mentioned that I do squirt sometimes and they put down an extra folded sheet. It was delightful having four writhing bodies on the bed. I divided my attention between the husband, the wife and MasterDoc. It was a mass of bodies at times. It was hot to hold the wife’s hand while her husband fucked me and MasterDoc went down on her. While I love MasterDoc being a sadistic dominant to me, it’s lovely to see him being an attentive vanilla lover. I think that we might put some people off at swing clubs because we do the D/s thing and it’s quite possible some people think that’s the only way he can relate to women.

MasterDoc got me started off by finger fucking me until I came. I had to struggle to keep quiet as they have cranky neighbors. It is not easy for me to be quiet during orgasm! I think I squirted a tiny bit when I came. I was fucked in various positions. The husband is into slow, gentle lovemaking, which isn’t what gets me off but I can appreciate the wonderful sensations. The husband fucked me as I lay on my side sucking MasterDoc’s cock. MasterDoc was going to fuck the wife a little later but her fingernail jabbed his cock as she went to put the condom on. This is not a good thing.

The husband and wife both repeatedly told me, and MasterDoc, how beautiful and sexy they think I am. MasterDoc said, “Ah, she loves hearing that, but she doesn’t believe it.” I smiled because it’s true. I did feel beautiful and sexy last night though. In a foursome, particularly when the women are bisexual, the women really are the focus. I came more than anyone else last night.

During our fooling around the husband somehow got a little lube and started fingering my asshole. I went with it. A couple of times I wasn’t sure if he was trying to get his cock in my ass when he went to fuck me, but at one point he definitely did. And I let him. I was lubed enough that it felt good so I went for it. I hesitated telling MasterDoc as I wasn’t sure how he’d react. The husband fucked my ass and eventually came. After, as we were starting to wind things up, I leaned in close to MasterDoc and whispered in his ear, “What you don’t realize is that he just fucked me up the ass.”

“You slut!” he said with a smile. He later admitted that he was truly surprised at just how slutty I was in having anal on a first swing date with someone. Eh, I figure if it feels good (and a condom is on the guy’s cock) why not? I think hedonist is the word. Also, the man is part Greek and, well, when in Athens… *wink*

(Paradocs = pair of docs)

And now for something completely different…

Published on January 2, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, exhibitionism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, slut and spanking. 0 Comments

(compared to last post at least)

We went out to our usual swing club last night. As can be expected the eve after New Year’s Eve, it was fairly empty, and there were mostly single men. We wandered a bit and initially we were the only couple there. After we relaxed with drinks, MasterDoc had me put my collar on. We put pillows on the hard floor and I got on my knees to give him a blow job. As usual, we enjoyed having an audience – single men immediately came over and sat nearby to watch. I was wearing my leather waist cincher and between that and my collar I was very much in sub mode. (And as I was wearing a plunging black bra and black mesh shirt as well, my boobs looked spectacular.) His cock peeked out from his open fly and I sucked it, making sure to move my head around so that I didn’t rub against the same spot over and over, like he taught me. I love hearing him moan lightly and gasp from my licking and sucking. The single guys gave me compliments after, in the hopes that I might be willing to play with them. I don’t think they realized that that was entirely up to MasterDoc.

A young, fit couple came in, and they started fooling around in the “exhibitionists’ room.” Despite the name of this room, there’s mesh curtains hanging that obscured the view. When I came back from a trip to the restroom, MasterDoc had moved onto the bed across from the couple and was watching along with two of the single guys. I joined him. The woman in the couple was mostly still dressed – panties, bra, camisole – the guy still had a t-shirt and socks on. He was into it – into the exhibitionism, into fucking her. He liked to choke her lightly and sometimes she seemed to fight him off doing it. She seemed into the sex only intermittently and she didn’t come as far as I could tell. MasterDoc had me start sucking his cock while he watched the couple fuck. I enjoyed knowing that he was getting a show while I was pleasuring him. When my mouth wore out, he had me give him a hand job as we watched the couple some more. MasterDoc started playing with my breasts, reaching in and coaxing my nipples out of the bra. I was pretty damn horny and I gladly took my top off when he told me to. The couple finished fucking and got dressed.

I got naked; I was somehow proud of my ability to strip when a woman with a much nicer body than me didn’t. The two single men moved closer. I lay back and played with pussy as MasterDoc hands one guy a flashlight to shine light on it. The light hits me in the eyes a bit, so I close my eyes. MasterDoc gives me the bullet vibe I packed and I got worked up quickly as I rubbed the buzzing vibe against my clit. There was something extra hot about feeling my freshly shaved pussy while three clothed men were around me watching. MasterDoc gently touched pussy, which turned me on even more than you would think. The man with the flashlight asked to lick me, but MasterDoc declined. But when the guy wanted to see my asshole, MasterDoc had me show him. MasterDoc had me wet his fingers and he fingered me. In a very short period of time, I begged to come. After making me beg over and over, “Please Sir, may I come??” he let me come loud and hard. I assume MasterDoc let the guy sitting behind my head touch me, he gently touched my hair and face and tugged on my collar. I was surprised that I didn’t mind a stranger pulling on my collar – I found it pretty damn hot actually. The guy was smart enough to do it gently and not scare me.

Then we fucked. I was on hands and knees using the bullet vibe on my clit. He fucked me quite hard and varied the pace and thrusting. I ride it out as long as I can, my face passionately scrunched up, mouth slack, as one guy sits on the bed directly across from me and watches from only two feet away. MasterDoc slaps my ass and calls me bitch a few times along the way. When I couldn’t take it any more, I begged for orgasm. He let me and I came hard – somehow not pushing his cock out. His cock seems extra hard these days. Eventually it did get pushed out, and he decided I had had enough coming. He pulled my legs back so I ended up laying on my tummy, and he ran his hand up my spine. Then he nibbled my back in a few spots which made me moan, smile and giggle naughtily.

I’m sure hearing about this comfort level with my body in public runs so contrary to the person I described in the last post – insecure, shy, self-hating, etc. It’s odd, sometimes I’m confident, sometimes not. Whether I’m ill with a depression then or not makes a huge difference. And it probably doesn’t help that I shrug off some of the things I do as no big deal, when in fact for many people fucking in public, completely naked, while having an imperfect body, would be a very big deal indeed.

___________________________

Earlier in the week, I forgot to chronicle a sexual encounter with MasterDoc. It was very different than most of our encounters. I was still trying to regain confidence and calm, and he gently played with my body, gradually working his way down. He went down on me, for what was probably a good twenty minutes. It felt wonderful but I have a hard time coming from oral alone. (It’s strange how things change, I loved oral when I was in my early 20′s and came well from it.) I was eager to come and despite his giving me permission to, I couldn’t quite manage it. But then he added his fingers, and as they probed my g-spot I came. He is expert at making me feel good, and it certainly helped my mood.

The Professor and Alexis

Published on November 8, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, caning, cunnilingus, dom, flogging, foursome, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and swinging. 3 Comments

Saturday afternoon, a Dom and his submissive came over to MasterDoc’s place. He’s going to be known as the Professor and she is Alexis. MasterDoc connected with the Professor via Craigslist (thus prompting my tweet, “Craigslist: Bringing perverts together since 1995″) this weekend. The main plan was to give Alexis a sybian ride, but they brought some toys as well. (canes, flogger)

After they arrived, we chatted briefly. I had been made to answer the door in my maid costume, complete with fishnet stockings and high heels. MasterDoc is quite fond of it. After I tweeted that he’s “inordinately” fond of it, he’s threatened to send me to the corner store in it. I really, really, really hope he’s kidding.

Alexis knelt on the floor next to the Professor as he sat on the sofa with MasterDoc. I sat in a chair, as my relationship with MasterDoc does not have me sit on the floor (a big part of this is probably because of my knee problems). We chatted a bit. I was fairly quiet, Alexis was almost totally quiet.

When things got started, Alexis went off to the next room to change. She came back in bra and panties and thigh high boots. In the meanwhile, I went and got all the restraint pieces that go with my Liberator scoop. It took a little time, but ultimately Alexis was arranged laying over the scoop (rounded side) with her wrists and thighs cuffed to the scoop. (It comes with thigh cuffs.) The initial angle wasn’t right for MasterDoc and I to watch so he and the Professor shifted Alexis around, as if she were part of the furniture.

The spanking started, Professor taking one side, MasterDoc the other. It was a little tough since both of them are right-handed. Her ass was rosy before too long. I was asked if I wanted to give it a go, and I think I surprised MasterDoc when I said yes. Of course, I got teased for hitting her too lightly at first, so I picked up the intensity a bit. I didn’t do it for long though. Next, the Professor got out his flogger and used it on her ass. She would yelp after a particularly sharp hit. MasterDoc flogged her as well. Next came the canes. Yikes! He had a fairly thick cane (I think a bit thicker than the thickest one we have – and we’ve never gone as far as that one with me). Wow, did he leave stripes! He started out tapping it on her ass, but moved up to some sharp strikes. She would leap up as far as the restraints would allow her and cry out. He’d order her back down and she’d lay down for more caning.

MasterDoc had me get the magic wand (and the throe) so that he could tease me on the sofa while Alexis got caned. As he started teasing me, the Professor came over to get a better look. I closed my eyes and felt the thrum of the wand against my pussy. MasterDoc moved it around, teasing me. He’d put it right on my clit but move it before I could get too worked up. It was decided that the Professor was going to give Alexis six more cane strikes, and that when he got to the sixth, I was allowed to come.

MasterDoc teased me all along, and the caning seemed to take forever. When the Professor got to number six though, I came in my usual hard, screaming, writhing and squirting fashion. The Professor came over for a closer look, and I squirted a huge puddle as he watched and held my legs apart. Thank goodness we put the throe down! The couch would have been soaked with my juices. I grasped wildly at MasterDoc as I came.
Alexis’ ass was red, striped and even had a bit of flayed skin. For the rest of the afternoon, if her bottom was touched she’d yelp and wince. I don’t doubt she is still having trouble sitting. After her calmly taking the caning, it was time to make her feel good. The Professor bound her wrists with rope with a good length between them, and the men got her on the sybian. MasterDoc worked the controls (something he has gotten really skilled at) and soon she was coming very, very hard. At one point the Professor made her look at him, and then look at me. I feel awkward keeping eye contact as I know it’s something that’s very difficult for me.

After Alexis had enough, she had a rest and a cuddle with her Dom. I cuddled with MasterDoc.

Next, I was ordered on my knees in front of MasterDoc and I had to suck his cock. He ordered me to look at the Professor as I did so. I felt pretty comfortable with him, so it wasn’t quite as hard as it sometimes is, but I still had trouble keeping eye contact. Alexis was on her knees by this time sucking the Professor’s cock as he sat on the couch as well. After a bit, the men had us change places and I went right over and started sucking the Professor’s cock. Alexis started in on MasterDoc’s. The Professor asked me to lick his nipples and I did so. It was hard from that position to reach them, so he suggested I lay on the floor next to him. He lay down and I went for his nipples – something he quite enjoyed. (MasterDoc’s nipples are super-sensitive, so I have to leave his alone.) Alexis took over sucking his cock, and the Professor asked if I could straddle his head. MasterDoc was fine with this and so I did. The Professor licked at my clit and pussy and I was soon moaning. MasterDoc came over, and started slapping my face and calling me whore – and as usual that got me really hot. I moaned even more. While it’s often difficult for me to come from cunnilingus, I was on the verge of orgasm in no time. I asked MasterDoc for permission to come, and he granted it. I came hard, the Professor had a finger inside me as my muscles did their extreme clenching. Wow. I was quite happy after. I lay down to rest.

Alexis had the Professor on the verge of orgasm and he had her place her mouth firmly over his cock as he came. She swallowed every last drop of come. MasterDoc was a little bummed that she swallowed right away as he likes seeing the come in a woman’s mouth after.

The Professor and Alexis had to get going, so that was about the end of our afternoon together. It was a lot of fun and hopefully we will see them again. After that, I was itching for a beating of my own.

A Guest

Published on October 22, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunnilingus, kink, orgasm on command, porn, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and sybian. 4 Comments

The day before my surgery, MasterDoc had a professional fem Domme, Daina, come over to join us for some playtime (in a non-professional capacity). It seems that she’s at least somewhat switchy, and so was the perfect playmate for the two of us – Domme over me, sub for him.

As usual I loved watching MasterDoc subtly begin to undress her as the three of us talked on the couch, and soon he was stroking her pussy. He took one breast and had me take the other. He had me get the magic wand, and he got Daina off with it. My memory is a bit fuzzy since this was a few days ago and I’ve had general anesthesia in the meantime, but I will relate as much of the story as I can.

I had gotten out a bunch of toys at MasterDoc’s request by this time, and he had me place a pillow on the living room floor so I could kneel before the couch and suck his cock as he reclined comfortably. They took turns swatting my ass a little and talking about various implements while I went down on him. There was talk about tying me up (rope is something MasterDoc hasn’t mastered, but apparently Daina has some experience) I was really excited about this but in the end it didn’t happen.

We moved to the bedroom and MasterDoc had me get on my knees. I knelt over the new Liberator Axis I have (I swear, review will be coming soon!) and they took turns spanking my ass. She hit harder than he did – and he pointed out that fem Dommes are cruel. When I pretty much couldn’t take it any more, he had me flip over so I was laying on my back, the Axis holding my hips up, and Daina started playing with my pussy. She stroked my clit between her fingers, and eventually she went down on me. It felt wonderful and as I got closer to coming MasterDoc started slapping my face and tits, talking dirty to me, and he told me to come and I squirted all over my new pillow.

He fucked me next, him on top of me, my hips raised again by the Axis. Even though I had just come, I was eager to come again. (I’m really pretty insatiable most of the time.) And he fucked me until I was begging to come, and when he let me, I came hard, squirting all over my pillow again.

MasterDoc had promised Daina a horsey ride (i.e., a ride on the sybian) and before she left he fulfilled this promise – I perched on the sofa and enjoyed watching. She had said before coming over that she really needed a release of endorphins, and I think she left with the endorphins just flowing. A sybian orgasm is something else, truly.

That night, when MasterDoc and I were alone, he decided that he wanted to come. So I played with his ass as he masturbated – watching this porn, which we hadn’t finished before. When he was ready to come, he rolled towards me and told me to take his cock in my mouth. I did, and come shot up into my mouth. I closed my lips around his cock and he reminded me that the head is too sensitive, that he wanted me to put my mouth right down on his shaft and so I did, pleased to be such an active part of his orgasm.

First Night at the Club in a Long Time

Published on October 14, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, bisexuality, blog, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, dom, flogging, gums, kink, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, poly, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, submissive and swinging. 1 Comment

MasterDoc and I had a wonderful time at a swing club on Saturday night. We hadn’t been to one in quite a while, and that night was a special bdsm/swing party going on – totally up our alley.

When we got to the club, there were some couples already hanging about. We walked around, checking out how they’ve changed the decor, and commenting on how they made the club look better with decorations, but they still have the same crappy beds. As we stood in the central area, I started feeling some of the social anxiety that hits me at times. I let MasterDoc know that I was feeling anxious. He promptly took me to one of the private rooms so I could cuddle him and feel better. I couldn’t wait to wear my collar – it helps with anxiety because I focus on being sub with the collar on. I start to ignore my surroundings and focus on being an obedient submissive. As we started to fool around, I kept wavering between self-consciousness and being absorbed in sex. I realized that the whole “I-feel-more-secure-naked-than-with-my-clothes-on” stems from where my focus is. When I’m being beaten, or I’m having sex, or giving a blow job, my focus is on that act and how it feels to me and my partner, and so I cease being anxious about the other people around me. MasterDoc went down on me and I mostly kept my eyes closed so that I could focus on the sensation of him toying with my clit. A lady ducked her head in, and at first seemed shocked that she interrupted us, but quickly she took a seat so she could watch. He had me suck his cock, and again, I loved being absorbed in it. My collar was on by this time, and I was blissfully in slut mode.

MasterDoc fucked me from behind – HARD. By this time my getting into submissive-slut headspace was complete. I yearned to come, and yet deep down I like the tease. It feels wonderful but eventually you need to have a release. I came extremely hard and he thrust his cock inside me. When my muscles pushed his cock out he kept me coming with his hands. I was squirting over and over again as I sank into the bed. The sheets were completely soaked. I lay there for a while, catching my breath.

We went to tell the owner that the bed needed new sheets (we took the wet ones and tossed them in the laundry basket). Thankfully, MasterDoc did not make me tell the owner what had happened. I suppose I shouldn’t be embarrassed by squirting, but it can be a bit daunting to proclaim you’ve made a mess, no matter how you’ve made it.

After we informed the owner, we ended up talking with couple who want to be dubbed Sid and Nancy who were visiting New York from Saskatchewan (Canada, in case you didn’t know). They were a very nice looking couple and the husband had a very funny sense of dry humor. We sat talking with them, and they asked us lots of questions about bdsm. Explaining the ins and outs of our relationship really piqued the interest of the wife, Nancy, but they both seemed a bit put off when we explained the whole polyamory thing. “Yes, we both sleep with other people. Yes, we sleep with each other.” Overall they were really nice to talk to and hang out with and I didn’t mind their questions. Often, MasterDoc likes to threaten to command me to have sex with some really fugly guy – but when I met this couple I was hoping he’d “make” me have sex with them. (Hee hee as in, damn they were cute. Please, please make me.) But while this couple is exploring their sexuality and having experiences they don’t swap with others.

We showed them some of the toys we had brought with us. I have a new paddle that imprints the word “slut” on you (most of the time). I showed them the imprint on the inside of my arm (I hit myself so hard that I have a bruise. Happy to say you can’t read any letters though.) Nancy was really curious about my collar and she wanted to put it on. I let her and she wore it for quite a while. Since it was clear she was interested in bdsm, MasterDoc start doing his Dom thing. It’s fantastic to watch. He knows that there’s way more to being a Dom than ordering people about and hitting them. He takes his time getting eye contact with the submissive and developing a sense of trust and connection; gently touching her face, being calming. I love watching him do it, he’s so good at it!

Nancy was up for a spanking, so we adjourned to the bdsm room. MasterDoc spanked her, and her husband (Sid) took a turn and clearly he had done it before. He tried the little flogger and gave Sid some lessons on it. (He needs practice with the flogger {raises hand to volunteer!}, but he was very comfortable with the paddle.) MasterDoc had me get the Acuvibe Mini out and he used it on her clit while hubby spanked her. She sat up on the spanking bench to grind her cunt into the vibe. It was extremely hot to watch!

After the spanking, Sid and Nancy went back to the smoking area to have cigarettes. We talked some more, laughing a lot. When Nancy found out I’m bi she seemed quite interested. As I got up to get ready to leave, she came over and told me that apparently nipple color is supposed to match the color of your gums and she took my breasts out of my low-cut top to take a look. I reciprocated, so she’d know that the interest was mutual. We exchanged contact information with this couple (they come to New York a few times a year) and gave them this blog address. Hopefully we will keep in touch with them. I’m always quite happy to explain things about living an open, sex-positive, slutty, kinky life to newbies – I have such an amazing time with my life that I’m fanatical about sharing it.