Archive for the 'caning' Category

Nice Guys Get Laid

I hadn’t been out to the club in a while. I was excited to be going out with MasterDoc and DeeDee even though I was feeling tired from the stressful and busy week as well as needy emotionally. (So what else is new with the last bit?)

Shortly after we arrived I became absorbed in a porn that was running – not so much because of what was happening, but because I think I had met the guy in it the week before. Tess met up with a pornographer before we went to In the Flesh, and I could have sworn the guy in the film was that guy. But of course they barely showed the guy’s face, so I didn’t get to convince myself entirely. I lead such an interesting life.

The club was having one of its usual “porn star” nights and Totally Tabitha was there – I think we had met her once before there. We got to talking with her and MasterDoc was very charming, while I got into teaching her about safer sex toy materials (what happens when a sex blogger meets a porn star, I suppose). I got to crush on this Latina I’ve met there many times and MasterDoc enlisted DeeDee and her exceptional social skills to help flirt with the woman at the bar for him. (DeeDee is gracious, friendly and can converse and get to know people easily. MasterDoc and I were the awkward nerds when younger – so while we’ve improved our social skills considerably we still don’t have the ease that DeeDee does.)

The mood at the club was pretty light. There were some socially inept, pushy guys there, but also polite, friendly ones as well. There was a good amount of women who are regulars (I so want to ask which ones are paid to be there – but I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.) I like how this steadfastly middle class, suburban woman (i.e., me) is comfortable with making friendships and acquaintance with whores, porn actors and the like. We all have a positive view of sexuality and don’t feel ashamed about it. I imagine so many people I work with or encounter day-to-day being  judgmental about these women – I am glad that I have realized that they are human beings just like any other women. Working the sex industry does not make someone ‘bad,’ ‘dirty’ or ‘wrong.’  (Or stupid!) This country is so fucked up in regard to sex. Sex is necessary for the continuation of the human race! It feels good for a reason! Fucking someone is a way of being intimate with another human being – even if you’re not in an intimate relationship with them. Humans need physical contact with other humans. It doesn’t always have to be sexual, but sexual is one way it can be.

We settled in the back room after a bit – I hadn’t been there since they took down one wall to make the two rear rooms into one big one. The air conditioning for the entire place is in that room though, and it was fucking freezing in there. MasterDoc got the ac turned down and we were able to camp out in there for a bit. The early part of the evening is a bit fuzzy for me. The whole evening was rich with flirting, joking and general fun that I’m sure I will, sadly, miss some details here.

So we settled on the big bed and cuddled. I was feeling starved for cuddles. We all three agreed that we felt a bit emotionally off kilter and MasterDoc decided that it would be just us playing – no bringing in strangers. I felt much better after he declared that. A few single guys stood around the perimeter of the bed and I’m sure they were thinking, “When are they going to DO something?!”

Eventually we got started. MasterDoc had me move to his right, because for some reason he’s more comfortable having me there. And while it seems a little silly on the surface, I do appreciate the fact that he does it because he can keep me in his sight better. He really takes the aspect of Domming that includes taking care of me seriously. It’s not a control freak thing at all – and it doesn’t feel that way – it is simply something that makes him feel more comfortable.

He had DeeDee suck his cock and he reached down and played with her tits. I stroked his chest and things were finally moving along. MasterDoc made DeeDee come just by touching her and talking to her. It was spectacular to watch. Poor woman was embarrassed after, as well as spent, so she lay down next to MasterDoc for a while. Isn’t it awful that we live in a world where a woman who can come very easily and hard is made to feel ashamed of it? I’m sure the men loved it, but women are taught subtly from birth that “good girls don’t do that.” (Hell, I’m a good girl and I deserve to feel good! Fuck that shit.)

MasterDoc had me suck his cock for a bit, then he had me position myself so he could use the crop and cane on my ass. I was so in need of a beating I was thrilled for him to do it. I became really aroused from the pain that felt mostly manageable last night. He had me lay down so he could play with my pussy. He got some toys from DeeDee (both of us take turns being the assistant) and made me come – but it was somehow hard to get there. I don’t know what’s with me lately, I seem to have difficulty coming sometimes. I squirted a little bit. After the orgasms I needed to rest.

We got up and socialized some more, and MasterDoc was busy charming Tabitha. I could tell he was determined to fuck her, and I did whatever I could to help. They were going to go off to one of the rooms when we got distracted by talking to the cute Latina. MasterDoc begged off the conversation after a while, and I got the feeling that she was insulted. He made up for this shortly after by having her stroke his cock while Tabitha was busy with another guy. I joined them on the bed as DeeDee was talking to a polite, intelligent black guy – I felt safe leaving her there as he didn’t seem the non-consensual groping type at all (and I was right) but still he enjoyed talking openly about sex. I was hoping to get in on the Latina action although that didn’t quite happen. I did suck MasterDoc’s cock to get him ready for Tabitha, and the Latina talked about wanting to see me choke on his cock. We were working up to that when she got distracted. Boo.

Tabitha is clearly a woman who is comfortable with recreational sex (which I think is a great thing). She commented on the size of MasterDoc’s cock before fucking him and once he got his cock in her. He fucked her good and hard, I got horny watching and started to play with myself. MasterDoc encouraged me to help in some way, and I played with her clit through her panties a bit (the panties were just pushed aside for the fucking). She enjoyed a good, hard fuck and MasterDoc clearly enjoyed himself too. After, he joked that “fuck porn star” is off his list – I pointed out that we had fooled around with SlutMomo, so fucking a porn star was already checked off his list! He amended it to “fuck blonde porn star.” Check.

DeeDee and I ended up standing in the hallway a moment and she expressed frustration at not having more orgasms yet, and she wondered if MasterDoc would let her fuck the nice black guy she had been talking to. I told her she should definitely ask, and when she wandered off and MasterDoc came up to me, I took a moment to fill him in on her unmet needs and wants. See, I’m not always worried only about my sexual needs. I told him too that since I’ve been craving cock for days and missed out the two last times we fooled around, that I really longed for some penis-in-vagina sex. MasterDoc took control of the situation, checked in with DeeDee to see if she would be okay with someone else giving her those orgasms she needed (she was) and confirmed that she was interested in the guy (she was) and so the four of us ended up back in the bedroom again.

MasterDoc made DeeDee come by playing with her pussy, then he put the nice guy in charge of taking care of her. She came so much! The guy fucked her and the two of them seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves. MasterDoc then turned his attention to me and gave me quite a fucking! I planted my head against the bed as he doggy-styled me. All sorts of moaning came out of my mouth as he took me towards orgasm. I was aware of the crowd around us, but kept myself separate and in my own head. He made me come so hard – and since starting testosterone his cock is a match for my vagina of steel – I don’t push his cock out nearly as often during orgasm. He kept pounding me and I kept coming.

After he said, “Babe, you’re a wild ride.”

I replied, “You are too, Sir.”

MasterDoc helped out Tabitha while the nice guy who had just fucked DeeDee fucked her – he gave her our orchid g vibe, with a condom on it, to use on her clit. After a while, the idea of putting it up her ass came about and the Latina helped lube up her ass well. They slid it in and he fucked her, feeling the vibe through the walls of her vagina. MasterDoc explained to him how he should massage his cock with the vibrating toy through the thin wall of flesh that lies between pussy and ass. He picked that up fast and seemed to love it.

I needed to get home to sleep so I could get up early, and the three of us were getting tired. It took a little while to pack up as we had to wait for our toy (would be pretty rude to just demand it back mid-fuck, no?) and then one of the regular ladies begged MasterDoc for a beating. DeeDee and I waited patiently while he helped her out.

It was an extremely fun evening! I don’t know why being a slut is so looked down upon – we have so much fun and pleasure! What is wrong with that?

Using the Slave

I arrived at MasterDoc’s Tuesday night thinking I was going to have a night alone. He and DeeDee were planning on going out to something kinky (he wouldn’t specify) and even though I didn’t have to be at work until late the next day, he thought it best to just bring DeeDee. I was totally in an anti-social mood, so it was a bit of a surprise to find them both home when I got there – and that the people they were going to see were coming over. The situation was this: a Dominant has a slave he’s training, and as part of her training she was going to be used by a bunch of strangers.

The slave got to see me briefly as I came outside to help them bring their toys in from the car. They brought a large cage to keep her in. Her Master had her wait in the hall outside the apartment until the cage was set up, then he blindfolded her and brought her in. He spent some time alone with her in the bedroom where the cage sat and then left her in her cage for a little while. She was blindfolded with an elastic bandage.

He came out and spoke to the rest of us about what was planned. He had also brought along a switchy lady he had been talking to (who is really cool. I totally want to hang with her again). So there were four ladies and two men. (Cue the Beach Boys: “Two girls for ev-ry Dom!”) The evening started off with the rest of us being silent, so she couldn’t tell who was touching her or how many people there were. Their relationship is much more formal than mine and MasterDoc’s – he had her crawl around the whole time, she has specific positions she needs to get into on command. He seems to inflict more pain than I think I could take, but perhaps it was more the kinds of pain than how much? I’m not sure.

After he had her display herself (first position was kneeling up, legs spread, arms behind back, head back and mouth open, she looked lovely) we took turns groping her. MasterDoc was not shy and immediately went over to see how wet her cunt was. I needed a little waving forward from her Dom after MasterDoc finished, but I enjoyed her soft breasts and toyed with her cunt a little. I don’t know why I get so damn shy with women. The other lady then played with her.

The details are hard to follow as so much happened that night. I know I got a little cuddle from MasterDoc while the other lady fingered the slave. I stroked his back as he stroked his cock watching the slave get used. DeeDee also came over and played with him a bit.

When the lady was done, MasterDoc slipped on a condom and fucked her. Her Master told me to kiss her and so I made out with her while MasterDoc pounded her. (Kinda hard to keep kissing when she is moved around so much from the pounding.) The slave was an attractive lady, so it was definitely a pleasure to play with her. (I’d hang with any and all of the people involved again.)

The two Doms decided that the slave would eat me out, and so she went down on me. I actually pushed her head down a little as she was just above my clit. The other Dom played with my tits and MasterDoc did as well. I came – having been given permission to come at will – but not quite with the same intensity I come with MasterDoc. In fact, MasterDoc and DeeDee hadn’t realized I came! And if any two people would know what I look like during orgasm it’s them. But I not only came, I squirted. A couple of times. MasterDoc thought I was in a state of frustration, but I expressed that actually, I had had enough.

Her Dom bit my nipple so hard! I’m not used to prolonged strong biting. My nipples are pretty sensitive and we don’t do a lot of nipple torture. MasterDoc is fond of flicking my nipples with his fingers – which hurts, but not so much the other stuff. MasterDoc had been doing this flicking on her clit over and over earlier.

At some point, her Master had her masturbate in front of us. I watched her rub her clit and wondered when she’d be allowed to come. After a while, he gave her a toothbrush to masturbate with. Yes, she rubbed her clit (or just above it, more on the clitoral hood) with the bristles of a toothbrush. Ouch.

She was spanked a bit with an acrylic (I think) cane. MasterDoc spanked her as well. MasterDoc flogged her a little. She ended up going down on the other woman, and while her ass was in the air doing that MasterDoc fucked her. DeeDee jumped in and started playing with his ass, but the other Dom asked her to take more photos. (Yes, there are photos of this. No, I don’t think I will get to share any here.) As she used the camera I took over playing with MasterDoc’s ass as he likes. I truly enjoyed seeing him enjoy himself. He was like a little boy at Christmas. I think I’m finally at a point where I can accept that new pussy is sort of a fetish of his, and that he will always look for it, but that he loves me and will come back to me. He took the time to pretty much tell me this as he fucked her and kissed me.

I lose the thread of the story about now. I know the other Dom fingered (quite expertly it seemed) the other lady. The other Dom didn’t play with myself or DeeDee at all – except to put cups on our nipples. (e.g., cupping as used in some Asian medicine). The suction hurt me just too much! My left nipple was already sore from him biting on it, and just the other day I chose to endure the clover clamps for a while. I just couldn’t handle the feeling of the suction on my tender nipples. But at one point all of us ladies had cups attached to our nipples by suction.

Her Master had her drink out of a dog bowl on the floor, but treated her to a diet root beer later after she had already been a good girl for a while.

She was still blindfolded through this, mind you. He took out a dental gag and I drooled. MasterDoc joked that he was making him look bad – after all he brought out all sorts of toys that I ask and hope for but don’t usually get used on me. With the dental gag in, he dragged the wartenburg wheel all over her body. Fuck. I was so turned on watching this that my body would involuntarily twitch. I so want that  for myself. I cringed a little when he ran it over her sore pussy, but I’ll bet it was ultimately wonderful.

The slave was put over the Liberator scoop at one point and cuffed down by wrists and thighs. I think I wandered off to the kitchen at this point, so my recall of what happened is spotty. (I know, I know, I do my best to fill you guys in entirely but a human being can only do so much!) There had been some cock sucking along the line (perhaps most interesting was her Dom putting his cock in her mouth from above as she lay on the floor being used by others).

She was finally allowed to come as her Dom used the Hitachi on her – and she squirted a ton. Next the other Dom made the other lady come, and MasterDoc got DeeDee and I to come simultaneously on the sofa on either side of him. While I had come a few times, I didn’t come with the intensity possible when MasterDoc focuses, and thankfully he wanted to make me come hard, and used the Hitachi on me some more and made me squirt a river as he made me come on the couch.

The hour grew late, and the planned double penetration didn’t happen.  But to finish off her Dom and MasterDoc took her into the bathtub and peed on her simultaneously. And she didn’t get to kneel like DeeDee and I get to, she had to lay down and have them piss in her mouth. Yikes. I would freak out over that. I know MasterDoc plans to get me to the point of pissing in my mouth some time, but that one’s going to be much harder to overcome than ass licking was. I stayed in the living room talking to DeeDee and the other lady. But DeeDee got called in to take photos. She looked awfully queasy when she returned.

The slave was left alone to shower off and came back out with the blindfold on. All the goodies they brought along got packed up, and we all said our thank yous and goodbyes. For a night when I thought I’d be totally antisocial, it ended up being pretty freaking hot. I must say however, that the selfish girl in me wishes I had been the center of attention. The next morning, DeeDee and I talked about how our evening had been something that previously (previous to getting into the lifestyle) we would have thought happened only in novels. But yes, these evenings of utter debauchery do happen. I don’t make up these stories, I only chronicle them. I am thrilled to be at the level of perviness that these hot group things go on from time to time. I am a lucky girl.

No One’s Perfect

Sometimes when I sit down to write about my experiences, I find myself at a loss where to start. The writing doesn’t always flow easily from my fingers through the keyboard, and with an ADD Dom by my side to distract me, it can even be harder.

We had sex yesterday afternoon, but it didn’t go well. Suffice it to say I felt like I needed intimacy and closeness, and MasterDoc thought a beating and objectification were in order. It wasn’t. It wasn’t anything traumatic, even with my collar on I’d have spoken up if trauma was going to happen. I know he would want to know such things. But I started off cranky and just became more annoyed as he beat me, and then fucked me. I didn’t get turned on. I didn’t come. Now in his defense, treating me rough and as a fucktoy can get me really worked up oftentimes. It just so happens that this particular afternoon it did the opposite. I went off to take a nap after, and griped about the experience to him before I went to sleep (after my collar was off). Once we both got up from our naps we talked, and thankfully I realize that he’s a human being, and therefore not perfect. I don’t expect him to be. So often he does exactly the right thing for me, but it’s to be expected in the real world that now and then he’ll misjudge what’s needed. I’m proud of myself that acted appropriately as a sub and didn’t mouth off during it, but I waited til after when my collar was off and we could talk about it.

I feel like our relationship is getting better all the time. I’m learning not to overreact to things. We discuss things much more calmly than before. (He’s always been a proponent of calm.) I’m learning not to expect perfection from him. I’m sure I’ve said before that I don’t expect him to be perfect, but I think on some level a submissive wants his/her Dom to be like a god – perfect, always worthy of awe. But while we have those moments and they’re beautiful, in real life people are not perfect. I know that a worthwhile Dom is one who takes the time to learn from their mistakes. A worthwhile Dom is one that can admit that he/she fucked up. And a worthwhile submissive works with his/her Dom to make things better, and still respects the Dom even when they’ve made a mistake and admit it.

Later, we were supposed to go out to the swing club (me, MasterDoc and DeeDee), but when MasterDoc called the owner up it turns out it’s closed currently for construction. Phooey. We had all been looking forward to going out.

We decided to make our own fun at home, even though it meant we didn’t have the audience we’d have at a club. DeeDee, ever creative, started role playing being a stranger who has come to play with a new couple (MasterDoc and I). We didn’t keep up with it for long, but it was fun and inventive to role play.

MasterDoc had DeeDee keep the camera handy. Lately he’s into getting photos of my face during orgasm. I really wish I could share them here. It’s so interesting for me to see as I don’t normally see myself during orgasm. We joked around a bit, as we were all in a pretty silly mood. Then we started to focus and get down to business. MasterDoc quickly put me in my happy place (aka subspace) by stroking my face and my body. It’s wonderful how with just a little focus he can put me there so easily now.

He had to interrupt the proceedings to use the bathroom, and alas he decided to piss on DeeDee. I could hear them in the bathroom next door as he made her come while he pissed on her. I played with some of my Lelo toys (the Gigi til the power ran out and the Nea after). MasterDoc came back in to me after, and he realized that he couldn’t just start up with me again. After such an intense scene, DeeDee needed aftercare. He thought it would be cute if we each cuddled her from either side and he got her to come in and lay on the bed between us. It was definitely a good thing and I joked that she was getting the “deluxe aftercare” last night. As horny as I was, I could put that aside for a moment to enjoy cuddling. DeeDee and I don’t really cuddle, but it wouldn’t be a bad thing to do at all.

She was going to rest on the floor after she felt better – she didn’t want to keep us from fooling around, but she didn’t want to be alone either. I could totally understand that and was fine with her staying there. She didn’t get to rest much, however, before MasterDoc got her taking photos.

To be continued….

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I got lost in my head during play Tuesday night, so apologies if this account is disjointed. I had been overdue for a beating, so MasterDoc took to my ass with the riding crop and cane. He started off light, and very gradually increased intensity. He did it in such a way that by the time he was whacking me hard he was able to tell me to come. I came from the pain. I came from him having control. For some unknown reason that still amazes me.

We watched some porn – and this time I actually watched instead of being distracted by him fucking me. I stroked his hair as we lay by each others side. As the porn turned me on I started touching myself. I played with my breasts and nipples, something I rarely do during masturbation. I shyly reached a hand down to my pussy and started playing there. Intermittently, I’d touch him, stroking his back.

Right before having sex with me, MasterDoc looked me in the eye and told me that I was to hold off coming indefinitely. I was not allowed to beg for orgasm like I usually do. Just him giving me this directive, with that firm look in his eyes, made me wet. I struggled to keep my arousal under control as he fucked me. But of course I just kept thinking about how hot it was that he could use my body for his pleasure. It seems as if telling me not to come makes me just want to come more!

We cuddled up after the fucking, and his phone rang. This distracted me so when he told me to come a moment later, I wasn’t anywhere near ready to come. He talked to me about keeping with where we are mentally. After all, the phone can be ignored. I’ll try to do better next time.

My memories of that evening are in bits and pieces, so forgive me if this isn’t as coherent as most posts.

As we cuddled I did some spot worship (see 5th paragraph in that post), and he called me the “High Priestess of Spot Worship.” Hee hee. I know how to play with his special spot really well by now. I stroke his chest languidly, focusing on “the spot” but also touching the rest of his torso – from tummy to collar bone. I’ve joked that I want a sex toy company to make a toy version of his spot so if I ever lose him I can stroke it for comfort.

He had me suck his cock for a while, and I struggled a bit with the reservoir tip of the condom tickling the back of my throat. That’s the only thing I truly hate about blow jobs with condoms.

At one point, I was laying down in such a way that I was looking up at him – and I mentioned that I loved the perspective. Having him above me like that felt so representative of the power dynamic between us. I thought about the idea of him being a god for the length of our scenes. The majority of the time, we’re two humans with strengths and weaknesses. But when we play we can be something else for a while. He can be a god to me, and I can feel safe in his arms. He can be in control, which he likes and I can give up control, which I like. (Of course, ever the irreverent Dom, MasterDoc made some funny noises and hand motions when I said I liked the perspective. Kinda changed the feeling!) Many times that night I felt like declaring I’m his, over and over.

He fucked me from behind a couple of times with that order not to come or ask to come still applying. His cock wasn’t cooperating as much as he would have liked, so the fucking didn’t last long. He had intended to fuck me until he came.

I was feeling really ready for limit pushing, and he had me give his asshole a big kiss. I still don’t like doing it, but it’s hot in the way that I’m being told what to do. Thankfully it is always freshly cleaned when he has me do it. I still pause a second and give him a “do I have to?” look before doing what he tells me to do.

We took a break, and he checked on DeeDee. (She struggles with depression like I do, and was having a tough day.) MasterDoc planned to fuck me later that night as I got so drowsy I was ready to fall asleep, but that got put off. (Something for the wishing box.)

Independence Day

Since I wear my depressive episodes on my sleeve anyone who follows my twitter knows I was in bad shape the other day. Thankfully, it has passed and I have some very understanding people in my life who realize that while I become negative and complaining during an episode, it’s not entirely what I’m thinking/feeling so much as just a chemical reaction in my brain.

But some things do get brought up when I’m in that state that are bothering me just below the surface. I gave MasterDoc a hard time about our sex life becoming more and more routine. It can be frustrating when he seems to put effort and creativity into trysts with women he’s not involved with, but not so much with me (or DeeDee). Now granted, even a routine sex life with MasterDoc is pretty hot and satisfying. And one of the wonderful things (I say that a lot, don’t I? There’s many wonderful things.) about MasterDoc is that he will look at criticism and see if it has merit. He acknowledged that there is some truth to my complaints.

After talks, hugs and hanging out, my depression lifted. On Saturday night after MasterDoc made DeeDee come and subsequently conk out, he took me into the other bedroom and went down on me. This is something he doesn’t do often, and we were chatting about that earlier in the day. He dove in and did a fantastic job eating my pussy. He had me moaning and heading towards orgasm in mere moments. As he had me come, he put fingers inside me AND pressed down just above my pubic bone with the other hand while still licking my clit. Holy fucking christ I had an incredible orgasm. Even more incredible than usual. He joked about how he was sorry it was just plain sex and not something creative. I had to laugh because of course it was more than wonderful. I crave more bdsm scenes, but the sex we do have is pretty damn hot.

Sunday night the three of us went out to the swing club. MasterDoc, DeeDee and I seem to be becoming more and more triad-like as time goes on. It’s not unusual for us to show up as a unit to the swing club. The three of us took over the large bed and DeeDee and I took turns sucking MasterDoc’s cock. DeeDee started him off, and I cuddled with him. He decided that in honor of Independence Day we would be allowed to come when we choose to (now granted, we each might decide some teasing is desired, but it was all left up to us). After telling me this, he had me swap places with DeeDee and he told her the same and one or two other things, such as him considering letting us select one guy to fuck.

The swing club was having a private party that night and the host, a friendly (and kinky) guy we know, came in with his new paddle. He told MasterDoc that he was welcome to break the paddle in, and so MD had DeeDee and I get on all fours on the bed, asses in his direction. He alternated paddling us. I hadn’t had a paddling in a while and it definitely suited me. He switched to fingering us at the same time and soon we’re both coming. (Picture, if you will, MasterDoc kneeling on the bed behind us with his right hand in my cunt and his left hand in DeeDee’s cunt.) The party host commented afterward that it was impressive to watch MasterDoc “pussy DJ.” MasterDoc loves the showmanship of sex and he would vary what he did to us to get us to make noise in time with the music. He’d focus on DeeDee, then on me, then both of us so we were moaning in unison. I came quickly and for a long time. These days I forget how fast I’m able to orgasm since I always have to ask permission. It was lovely for a change of pace, but I like the way he teases me so I wouldn’t want it like that all the time.

After a rest and cuddles, he had DeeDee and I give him a dual blow job – she was licking one side, I the other. We both started giggling when her tongue pretty much left his cock and got together with my tongue. I giggled thinking MasterDoc was pushing her head a bit to encourage her – but it turned out he had no idea why we were giggling! DeeDee was more aggressive than usual and it surprised me a bit because I remember back to last year when MasterDoc met her and he told me that she was curious about doing things with women, but didn’t think she would be comfortable kissing one. I was happy to go along with it however, as clearly she was ok with what she was doing.

As DeeDee cuddled against MasterDoc’s back and stroked his ass and back (as far as I could tell), he leaned in to me and we kissed a bit. He touched my body and soon I was on the verge of orgasm. I could feel DeeDee’s hand reach out for my nipple and I enjoyed coming as they played with my body.

We got dressed, got drinks and had a seat in the main area. Coincidentally, the spotlight was on MasterDoc’s cock. This inspired him to have us take turns blowing him and with a hard cock he asked if I wanted to be fucked. Oh yes! He had me bend over the  back of the couch and he fucked me. Unfortunately, this didn’t last long as the couch is right against a wall, a very hard wall, and my head kept hitting it despite my best efforts to keep it  clear of the wall. We had to find another spot.

We moved to the exhibitionists room just a few steps away (it’s part of the main area, just set off by some very sheer curtains). MasterDoc decided to give me a beating and DeeDee suggested implements from the toy bag to him. My pain tolerance was quite good and he gave me quite a beating. (DeeDee later said she was impressed by what I took.) Since I had permission to come whenever I wanted, I came due to just the beating. The orgasm lasted a while while he kept caning my ass. My ass was quite sore after, but I had had a great time.

I suggested that DeeDee was overdue for an orgasm. He says, “What? She’s due for a beating?” He loves to tease us and make it seem like we’re trying to give the other one trouble. Because she was so enthusiastic about giving him impact toys to use on me, he decided that he should use the same ones on her. I was proactive for once and I lent a hand playing with her clit without his even encouraging me. DeeDee came easily. I got the nea and used that on her clit next. MasterDoc followed through on something he had promised earlier that evening – that he would use my anal beads on her as a tail. He had her suck on the beads to moisten them, and I tried being helpful and held up the bottle of lube, which thankfully he used. So the beads were placed only about half way in, and he told her, “Now, arf!”

“Oh Sir! Please no!” DeeDee moaned with her face buried in her arms (ass in the air). He got her to bark like a dog, much to her humiliation. In order to be able to come again, he made her arf one final time. She did after a few moments as I suppose the desire for orgasm outweighed the humiliation. As MasterDoc played with her cunt, I remembered his admonition for no idle hands – either help play with someone else – or play with yourself. I opted to play with myself and soon I came again as DeeDee did. I squirted this time, and got my dress a little wet. Thankfully it’s warm out so the damp dress wasn’t as uncomfortable as it could have been.

A few people had stopped by to watch as she came while my hand was holding the nea to her clit and MasterDoc was playing with the anal beads. DeeDee was so embarrassed after that she didn’t want to leave the area and face the people who might have been watching her humiliation.

Flirtation and Flogging

I had a fabulous time Friday night! I don’t often name specific clubs or parties here, but Sir Magnus Romello’s bdsm parties (Avant Garde Loft) are ones to watch! They have really taken off. Look them up on fetlife.

I was a little more confident and I flirted with one of Sir Magnus’ submissives pretty blatantly. (I will call her Sofija here. She is Serbian so I picked out a Serbian name for her courtesy of a google search.) I had emailed her after meeting last time and we were maybe going to meet up for coffee. (But her Sir insisted she catch up on sleep while on that break from work. Fair enough.) Hitting on her was easier due to getting a clear vibe that she is interested too. But can you see it? Me – the Queen of the Lesbian Sheep Dance – I was forward. No joke.

I was more social this time around. Initially I thought Sofija didn’t remember me which bummed me out, but it was really down to dim lighting, my new bangs, and her being a little tipsy – she didn’t recognize me at first but then she was happy to see me. When MasterDoc saw my opportunity to chat with her, he pulled DeeDee away to walk around and left me talking with Sofija and her friend. Sofija invited me to come along with them when they went elsewhere in the club and I followed. We joked around with Sofija’s strap on and I was feeling pretty confident and good. Her friend for the evening was visiting from the south and she was a young (18 or 19 years old), gorgeous woman. (Tall, slim, pretty – and yet in conversation with her later that night it turns out she doesn’t realize how gorgeous she is. I hate how women are taught to feel insecure in our society.) I was thrilled when the younger woman had trouble believing that Sofija is in her early thirties and me in my late thirties. She said, “Everyone looks younger up here!”

The social period went on, I got side tracked from following Sofija and friend by running into DeeDee who was talking with a fem Domme. People are really quite friendly for the most part at these parties. I can see myself going regularly and getting to be friendly with some people. (Unlike when I wrote about another New York party on here that I didn’t enjoy as much.)

I was thrilled when MasterDoc started setting things up to flog me. He and DeeDee put my wrists in cuffs and attached me to a low St. Andrew’s cross. MasterDoc flogged me – first with the little flogger, then interrupted to spank me with his hands, and then the big flogger. He struck both my ass and my upper back. He was pretty intense with the hits and he even worked in the cane a few times. I cried out as loud as I could to be heard over the music. I checked in with him at one point to make sure he could hear me crying out. He said simply, “Yes,” and went back to work. Ok, then. As long as he was aware at how much pain he was causing, I was okay with that.

He teased me with a vibe, but the difficult thing is when you’re reaching around a woman from the back, it’s much harder to find her clit than from the front. He teased me a whole lot, mostly not on quite the right spot. He told me I could come ad-lib and as I started coming he pulled the toy away. Fuck. Orgasm interruptus. (He could hear cries of pain over the music but not the more subtle sounds of impending orgasm.) He had DeeDee help out with using the toy while he flogged me but bless her heart she’s still learning and couldn’t get the vibe on the right spot. I started laughing because the situation was kinda funny to me – I’m being teased but in such a way that the stimulation is not enough to get me anywhere near getting off. With my hands bound, I couldn’t show DeeDee where to put the vibe exactly. MasterDoc took over the toy again, and I was nearly – nearly! – to orgasm but my knees gave out. They started doing this popping thing and I couldn’t hold myself up any more. I need to get in shape.

I was so frustrated at not really coming, but my body was exhausted. I sat and rested for a while and then MasterDoc decided to give me the first sybian ride of the evening. It was wonderful to finally come! I screamed as I came. MasterDoc kept me coming over and over and over again. He pushed me past what I thought I could handle. DeeDee spanked me a bit and then she pressed against me and could feel the vibrations through my body. MasterDoc told her she could come as well, and she came pressed into me – which made me come harder.

I was exhausted after. Yes, even more so than before. I lay down on the mat next to the sybian for a while. MasterDoc chatted with DeeDee while I lay there, and at one point he started using me as a foot rest. Kinky perv that I am, I thought that was hot. Sometimes I really, really get into being submissive. After I had enough energy to sit up, I sat on the mat by his feet and hugged his leg. I do enjoy being the worshipful sub sometimes.

MasterDoc gave other sybian rides, of course. One of Sofija’s “sisters” (in her leather family) held the young Southern woman as she rode for her first time. MasterDoc sat off the to the side, watching her reactions and manning the controls. Sofija sat nearby and I initiated a little flirting. We held hands for a brief few moments. I was bold and started gently touching her skin, but she mentioned that her Sir said he didn’t want anyone touching her that night without his permission. I respected that of course and figured that perhaps some other time…. (Yes, I felt too shy to go ask her Dom. I mean, the guy’s a Dom, lil’ ol’ me can be intimidated even though he’s always been nice.)

MasterDoc told me a little later that he had spoken to Sir M a while ago and asked permission for me to hook up with Sofija. (!) And I was interested enough and forward enough tell her this straight out next opportunity I got. She wanted to ask her Sir to confirm and I agreed wholeheartedly, saying I didn’t know if the permission applied that night or not. She apparently got in trouble for something when she went over to him, and she was busy watching her sisters the rest of the evening. (I don’t get the sense that she got in trouble over me. She wrote me an email the next day saying she hopes she gets to spend more time with me in the future. *happy dance*)

There were some hot scenes going on. While DeeDee recovered from her sybian ride (I helped by massaging her ass and inner thighs while she came.) I asked permission to wander off and I got to see one couple doing fire play. It was fascinating. Right next to them there was a suspension going on – something I’ve never experienced either. Sir M was giving a flogging to a lass who wiggled so sexily. I saw her later with another Dom and he flogged her front while she writhed sexily again. I made a point of telling her how hot it was to watch her on the way out. She looked like an average woman, someone who would not necessarily be aware of her allure. (She looked like a nice Jewish girl. Not someone you’d assume to be a perv. You know, like most of us pervs – normal-looking!) She seemed really appreciative that I mentioned she was hot to watch.

I enjoyed watching some fem Dommes – especially with masculine male subs. Sissy male subs don’t do it for me. (Nothing wrong with others’ kinks, it’s just one that doesn’t do it for me. The adult baby there didn’t do it for me either. But I have gradually come to see that some age play can be fun. I don’t feel the need to regress to infancy myself.) I thought about how men are expected to be dominant sexually in our culture and the relief a submissive man must feel when he hooks up with a dominant woman for the first time. He can be himself. He doesn’t have to be in charge. It’s a wonderful thing that kinksters can find each other and bring so much pleasure. Other parties I’ve been to have often been male Dom/female sub heavy, but this party had many fem Dommes, sub men, switchy people. We saw two guys play – something you don’t see often. Even hopelessly straight MasterDoc thought it was cool that a male couple would feel comfortable enough to play. He may not be turned on by it, but he’s supportive of people enjoying the sexuality that turns them on.

A Week in the Life of Nadia

I’m so behind on blogging! I’ve had a very busy week or so and it doesn’t seem to be letting up any time soon. This seems to be a new trend – insane busy-ness. As a result you will get a mish-mosh of things I got up to over the past several days.

MasterDoc recently bought (yes, we sometimes buy sex toys and not just enjoy the ones I get to review) some Zeus electrosex attachments from Extreme Restraints – the nipple “clamps” to target my poor sensitive nipples and the small torpedo plug to torment my ass. The plug didn’t get used although he did use the larger one we’ve had for a while in my vagina. We discovered however, that for me the electrosex isn’t so good for foreplay, but it’s divine once I’m aroused. The large torpedo in my cunt was uncomfortable because it’s so rigid and I wasn’t yet warmed up. The nipple clamps don’t particularly clamp, but they do zap your nipples. But worse than that, he thought to put them on my outer labia. That fucking hurt. Then he tried them on my inner labia. I think he needs to gag me if he ever plans on putting that toy near my cunt again. I screamed. He threatened to put it on my clit but thankfully he showed some mercy.

After all the torment (and yes, as much as I enjoy some pain it was indeed torment) he fucked me from behind. This was my present for being so patient with the electrosex. The fucking was really hot, and not at all painful like the electro gear. I was allowed to use the magic wand, which I love but it’s hard to hold up after a while (especially if you’re busy holding yourself up with your other arm).

I held out as long as I could but I had to beg to be allowed to come. I came and unfortunately my cunt pushed his cock out. But, ever the soul of ingenuity, he used a glass dildo on me for a while and kept me coming. Then he put his cock back in a few times. Alternating between the dildo and his cock was wonderful, but I certainly hope doing Kegels these days will help control the intense squeezing and ejection my cunt likes to do during orgasm. I squirted all over my hand, the bed and the floor. I was exhausted and sweaty after.

Somewhere in the past few days was some really hot sex – that I’ve now forgotten the details of. Yes, I know I’m quite fortunate to have enough fantastic sex that I can afford to forget some of it. I seem to remember prostate massage for MasterDoc. And fucking. Oh and I started sinking into depression on afternoon so MasterDoc caned me. Rather hard. I nearly didn’t make it through all 10 strokes! But my mood sure improved after that.

Another day, I was bound, face down over the hump of the Liberator scoop and made to come.  Yay! Bondage! He held the magic wand to my clit and let me hump it while my legs and wrists were attached to the scoop by cuffs. He left me bound there for a while while he went off to play with DeeDee. I was wiped out, but after a bit I became distracted by Forrest Gump playing on the television. Yes, I held my head up uncomfortably and got into the movie. I rather suspect MasterDoc was doing wonderful nasty things to DeeDee. He came out and released me after a bit, and I rested on the couch as I ended up dizzy and nauseous for a while – I guess having my bodacious boobs smashed against the scoop might have compressed my chest a bit too much.

During another interlude, he made DeeDee come while I got toys together. (And drove myself nearly crazy because I hadn’t been good and put my Lelo Gigi away last time – so I had to search high and low for it while listening to DeeDee come in the next room.) But I got my moment when MasterDoc langorously played with my cunt with his fingers, and he made me come with his hands. After recovering, DeeDee blew him while I kissed him and played with his chest. He asked for a condom and I put one on, then he surprised us a little by asking DeeDee if she wanted to get on for a ride. While she fucked him I played with his inner thighs and really added to the experience for him. It is so much fun to watch them while being participatory. My pillow princess days are over – I get really into making other people feel good.

After a break MasterDoc decided to fuck me too. Whoo hoo! He fucked me from behind on the mat in the living room. DeeDee played with his ass while he fucked me. I was so turned on that I thought I might come without permission but I could tell he was near coming. Despite my intense arousal I wanted him to come from fucking me – it doesn’t happen often – or at least have a chance to. Eventually he realized he wasn’t going to quite get there, so he told me to come. I did, muscles clamping down, squirting a whole lot over my hand holding the Gigi. I was an exhausted and happy camper. He went later to fuck DeeDee in her room while I got ready for bed.

So, uh, just a typical week in the life of Nadia.

Cane a Piss Slut Day

Yesterday was “Cane a Slut Day.” Haven’t heard of it? It’s just been created this year from an offhand remark that @justonyx made on twitter, and his partner @scarletlotus ran with. I let MasterDoc know as I was sure he’d want to participate.

MasterDoc invited DeeDee and I into the bedroom. He gave her a spanking for holding back from an orgasm he was making her have when I walked in, and even got the cane out. She hates the cane. (I’m the cane slut.) I think DeeDee is struggling with MasterDoc having so very much control – he can make her come with pretty much no warm up, and this can be tough for an independent woman to deal with when getting into submission. (I sometimes bug out over how much control he has over me.) I watched MasterDoc with DeeDee and it was quite arousing seeing him be all dominant. He made her come again and it’s amazing watching a woman in the throes of a really good orgasm.

MasterDoc started talking about pissing on one of us and caning her at the same time. Like many dominants, he has a healthy sense of competition. He wanted his “cane a slut day” contribution to be something above the rest. While DeeDee and I often argue in support of each other, last night the theme was more along the lines of “Do It To Julia!” I found myself saying, “Oh thanks!” sarcastically after she’d sold me down the river. Of course the good thing is that reacting that way (“Do it to her!”) in front of MasterDoc can very well earn you the very thing you’re trying to palm off.

DeeDee asked to be excused and managed to get it granted, but somehow MasterDoc and I ended up in the living room with her shortly after. She started doing some mindfuck to me, and I indignantly (and somewhat jokingly) said, “Hey! I didn’t sign on to get mindfucked by you!” She’s really getting into her switchiness. She kept pushing things along with MasterDoc’s plan to cane and piss on me. At one point, exasperated, I blurted out, “I’m going to hit you!” Not that I would ever really do that. But it’s the sort of impulse you get when frustrated with a friend selling you down the river. However, it was all done in good spirits.

MasterDoc and I retreated to the bedroom, and I cuddled up behind him on the bed. I started stroking his body and getting all hot – touching him now gets me so turned on. I could feel myself grind my pelvis into his ass as I clenched my thighs together to provide some pressure on my aching pussy. He got turned on as well, and he fucked me. While he fucked me, I was fully aware of how minutely he can control my reactions and arousal. He varies speed, depth, etc. to bring me to the edge of orgasm over and over again, but he not only has that power at work but also the fact that I won’t come without his permission. He can torment me into being desperate for orgasm but also keep me from coming for a while. When he told me to come my body instantly convulsed and I could feel my pussy clench around his cock. I was pretty wiped out after the fucking.

We had a little break, but only because he wasn’t ready to piss yet. Yes, the whole caning while being pissed on thing wasn’t just a threat. He guzzled some water in preparation and when he was ready he took me into the  bathroom. Thankfully he let me have a toy, and he had me warm myself up while standing in the bathroom. He wanted me ready to come when he put me into the tub. I was going to kneel on a towel to make kneeling on the porcelain more comfortable, but he pointed out that it would be soaked with piss in short order – and it was my towel I was going to use to dry off after all is said and done. I put the towel back.

I knelt in the tub, facing the end of it. The cane came down on my ass for a couple of swats before I felt the warm liquid of his piss. I’m half ashamed to say I came really hard the second he told me to come. I hate, hate, hate admitting it, but him making me do terrible, dirty things is so fucking hot. I really love being his dirty slut. He left me to wash off, and he took the pee dampened cane into DeeDee. He made her suck on it. (Eww!)

He came back into the bathroom while I was drying off from my shower and pointed the damp cane at me. Eek! He poked my lips with the tip a little and I recoiled at it being damp. I couldn’t handle the whole piss near my mouth thing.

He had me wash the cane, and I gave it a thorough rinse. Then, he made me sniff it. I was hesitant because of the pee, but he pointed out that if I cleaned it well it would be fine then, right? Argh!

Back in the bedroom, he held the cane up to my mouth. I was disgusted but surprised that I opened my mouth without a direct command. I knew it was what he wanted. He placed it in my mouth and made me close my lips around it. Eek! I was squicked, but I reminded myself that it was cleaned off. And well, piss is sterile. But, ick.

Kinky Foursome

So our new friend – I didn’t get into the blog thing much so I have no idea what alias she’d like – and I prefer giving people the choice of their blog name. So I think I’ll still refer to her as “new friend” until (if) I can suss out what she wants to be called here.

She wrote a sexy, smart, fun ad on craigslist looking for a couple to Dominate her. She sent MasterDoc a picture – and is really cute. And while I so often feed on other people’s insecurities, I didn’t get the feeling from her that she had any issue with what she was doing there with us – and it was easier for me to join in than it usually is. (MasterDoc indicated that on the surface it didn’t look too different, but I really felt a difference in my comfort level.) Also, I worry that cute, young, thin people will look at me, or MasterDoc or DeeDee, and think one or more of us is too old, fat, unattractive, etc. I not only sell myself short, I sell my loved ones short too. (Horrible isn’t it? I mean, if I find them to be fucking hot why don’t I believe others will too?? Again, I buy too into the narrative that says you have to be young, thin, beautiful to be sexy. Dammit Nadia, stop that!)

I actually agreed, pretty easily too, to wear the maid costume yesterday. It seemed like it would fit the situation and indeed it did. DeeDee was in Domme mode and had on a fabulous outfit. (A red and black mesh fishtail sort of skirt and her black corset. Nice!) While there were times when it felt like we were playacting, I think that’s really what we wanted – to fulfill our fantasies. To not be totally “ourselves” the whole time. We clicked well on an “ourselves” level, but we also had great fun indulging our perversions.

As I said earlier, with this woman somehow I picked up that she was keen to fuck and be kinky like I so often am. I didn’t have doubts about her desires like I do around so many women. MasterDoc and DeeDee said they had a hard time reading her and seeing her get aroused initially, but I picked up on the subtle changes in her breathing or reactions. (MasterDoc is usually the master at this, but I guess I just clicked with her in that way a little more.)

MasterDoc got her on the bed and spanked her for a bit. He caned her a little too, something she hadn’t experienced before, and he of course kept it to a minimum. (She also mentioned that her non-kinky boyfriend wouldn’t like seeing her really marked up. He doesn’t get the sense of it being sexy like us kinky freaks do.) At some point he ended up spanking DeeDee and making her come.

We had put the underbed restraints on the bed before she got there, and MasterDoc had me help put her in the restraints. This makes me think back to the first time I played with MasterDoc alone, and I ended up restrained on his living room floor thinking, “Gee, I hope my impressions of him being safe are spot on, or I could be in deep shit!” Thankfully they were spot on, and maybe my presence and the trust I so clearly have for him can help convey this level of safety to other women who come play.

The details of this interlude are fuzzy like intense sexual experiences often are. I know that I used the gigi vibe on her body – teasing her breasts, belly, and pussy. I allowed myself to get into enjoying playing with her, and as a result this was probably far hotter for her than me being shy would have been. I can’t recall if we made her come with the toys just then – or after a short break. MasterDoc left her bound in the bedroom for a few minutes and spoke to DeeDee and I out in the living room. Then he and I went back in.

I went down on her, and I think I’m finally getting over my stupid hangups about giving oral sex to women. It’s so sad that I haven’t let myself enjoy it because I’ve been fed the notion that women’s genitals are “smelly” or “dirty” my whole life. Fuck that. Eating pussy can be really fun and hot.

Perhaps this is when we took over really working her body over – MasterDoc lubed up the gigi and put it inside. I used the magic wand on her clit. We took turns pounding her with our fingers (not an easy thing to do, but she reacted the most to that). Ultimately we made her come as she lay tied down on the bed.

I was feeling patient and secure for once – while I was horny and wanted orgasms I was truly able to trust that MasterDoc would see to me sooner or later. I immersed myself in enjoying the hot perversity going on around me, and didn’t require the focus to be on me.

I teased MasterDoc at one point and he decided to cane me. Once his attention turned to me, he realized that I hadn’t come yet, and before putting our guest on the sybian, he gave me a ride. Yummy! The unyearned for orgasms are sometimes the best – the surprise satisfaction you’re given while you’re being patient and not self-centered. I squirted like a fountain, came violently, and I’m sure impressed our guest. I had to lay down after, and DeeDee was so very kind to clean up for me.

I felt fucking great. It was time to get our guest on the sybian. MasterDoc gave her a ride while DeeDee spanked her (though MasterDoc didn’t think it was hard enough) and pressed against her. (I forgot to mention that DeeDee did the same to me – it was really hot but nearly anything could have been done to me at that point and I would have found it hot.) It took a while, but she came hard and came away from the experience agreeing that the sybian is fucking awesome. She even squirted for the first time!

She and I hung out chatting while DeeDee and MasterDoc ended up in the bedroom again. We could hear DeeDee coming, and while I’m usually an insatiable slut at that point in time I was ready to hang out and chat. That’s the type of friend with benefits I want – one I can hang out with and have intelligent conversation with – not just fucking.

Our new friend had to get going, so we said our goodbyes. I let her know that I hoped she comes back. We’ll see what comes of it. Although MasterDoc is concerned we focused too much on her pleasure and not enough on her use.

A little later, I was still sooooo horny. And this week I’ve only just come to realize that I repress a certain percentage of my horniness because once MasterDoc is done having sex, I figure I should be happy with what he gives me. But this isn’t the smartest move as I’ve started feeling resentful that a man with three girlfriends isn’t giving me as much sex and play as I’d like. It’s truly okay that he sees other women and has fun with them, but my sexual needs aren’t being met 100% – despite sex with MasterDoc being the best fucking sex I have ever had in my life. I’d be thrilled to have even more sex with him, but since he is so very poly, I realize that I need to find another person to help finish meeting my sexual needs. It’s definitely not that MasterDoc is inadequate – I repressed so much because I love him and last thing I want him to feel is inadequate. But like him, I like fucking a variety of people. Plus I’m in my late 30′s and like most women my age I’m phenomenally horny. When he was younger he did some weekends of just fucking, eating, sleeping, repeat, but I don’t think it’s where he is in his life just now. But it’s where I am. And I’ve realized I should find that – the wonderfulness of being poly is that I don’t HAVE to rely on MasterDoc to meet every single little need or desire I have.

So we had a little libido dissonance – MasterDoc was ready to relax after having a whole long sexual interlude. This was not unreasonable.  But I was still insanely horny. I still crave a lot more involved and creative sex than he’s been up for lately. (I’m dying for bondage. I seriously need someone to make me feel helpless and come. I was craving intoxication play last night – anything to make me feel helpless. That’s one of my many kinks – feeling helpless and having someone fuck me in that state (when it’s consensual) makes me really, really hot. I want someone to do a big elaborate scene Domming me. I crave this. I don’t crave another D/s relationship – I crave a playpartner. I’m happy with MasterDoc as my Dom. But I want to be doing more.

He likes to make sure I’m satisfied, so he did eventually get in the mood and he fucked me. I loved it. I went to bed so very happy.

(I had a lot of struggle with whether he was doing it just to make me happy. I never want a partner to have sex with me solely because I want it – I’d rather be horny and frustrated than feeling like I pressured someone into something. He had to convince me he WANTED sex too. He just wasn’t starting from the same horny spot I was in.)

Touch

I spent part of last weekend on my own as MasterDoc and Davey both had plans with other girlfriends. I used this to my advantage on Saturday, getting done many things I had been putting off. I finally went for a hair cut, got my car’s oil changed, went shopping. But unfortunately once I was finished with errands for the day I started getting lonely.

I was happy to be invited over to MasterDoc’s on Sunday morning. But when I saw toys strewn about on the bedroom floor it upset me. Some of the items are mine, and it seems really disrespectful to leave them tossed about. I also got upset because it looked like it was bondage gear that had been used (although its use was only assumed on my part) and I have been asking for bondage play often but not getting it. I explained to MasterDoc why this bothered me, and he’s very different than me in emotional matters – so it’s hard for him to fully grasp how hurt I felt. He has promised that next time he will put things away (after all, I wouldn’t have given the idea of what he did in bed with the other girlfriend a second thought without my toys being on the floor). Yes, we’re poly and he obviously has sex with others (as do I sometimes) but it felt like it was shoved in my face, even though that definitely wasn’t MasterDoc’s intention. (He’s just messy and didn’t get stuff put away.) It really bugs me to come over and find my toys laying about. I feel resentful at the idea of cleaning up after someone else’s fun – particularly when I just spent the better part of two days totally alone, horny and having only masturbation to turn to.

So this put off our sex for a bit because I needed soothing. We cuddled, I explained my feelings to him and I took a nap. He cleaned up the toys on the bedroom floor later on (what a mensch! You can be a Dom and a nice guy at the same time), and he took the time to get me off – mentioned how he should be rough with me more often and acted correspondingly. He slapped my pussy, twisted my nipples, at one point when I was really turned on and breathing heavy he grabbed my throat. It was fucking hot. He made me come and come and come. The number of orgasms he gives me is just amazing. He knows that beatings and orgasms always improve my mood immensely. The next bit improved my mood as well.

After I had recovered from my orgasm, I started touching him. I started stroking his arm and soon I was licking it, making love to just his forearm. But if you know how to do these things right, this can be utterly erotic in and of itself. I’ve learned his technique – I pay close attention to his reactions and remember what makes him quiver. And perhaps the best advice – I truly enjoy touching him. I think if you’re getting off on the tactile stimulation of your partner, they will be too. He and I can now touch each other in non-erogenous zones and get each other worked up. It is an amazing feeling to be able to make him feel like that. He had me suck his cock and I really got into it since I was so horny. I remembered that he wants lots of slobber, so I did my best to wet it down thoroughly. I got it in deep and loved when he put his hands in my hair, eagerly hoping he would choke me on his cock.

He wanted me to show him what I had learned from the dvds I watched this weekend. He lay on his back and I massaged his ass. I lubed him up well and gently but firmly massaged his sphincter muscles. I worked a finger in and was sure to turn my hand palm up so I could use my finger to stroke along the top wall of his rectum – seeking out the prostate gland. I had learned enough from watching the video that his cock dripped pre-come like crazy (not something that usually happens) and he derived great pleasure from it. It is amazing to be able to make your partner feel that good. I continued this for a while until he asked me to slowly remove my finger (and I definitely recommend doing this slowly, gradually rather than yanking your finger out). Knowing that prostate massage is good for men’s health, I plan to do this for him more often. And, well, it’s just totally hot. I recommend learning this if you’re partnered with a man.

We wandered out of the bedroom and did more stuff. I started getting a bit gloomy, feeling like maybe he didn’t understand my upset earlier or (new insecurity that cropped up) that he didn’t see how he doesn’t talk to me when he’s with someone else, but he does talk (on phone, on internet) with others very often when he’s with me. Granted, much of the time I don’t mind if he talks to others. I don’t need to be attended to every second of the day.  But I think I was more upset that when I’m alone and miss him, I don’t get to speak to him much.

He took me into the bedroom, and made clear to me that the caning he was setting up was NOT punishment. He said he heard me, and saw that there was truth in it. But he knows that a good caning and orgasm can fix my down moods. He gave me the magic wand to use as I wished and he gave me a good, leisurely caning. I was soon too busy being aroused and humping the magic wand to give a shit about anything that might have upset me before. He stroked my pussy on the outside, exploring my reactions and he fingered me a bit as I came. I found yesterday that I would get aroused so fast that not coming was really difficult to do. When he would let me come I’d travel off into the orgasm, losing sight of all around me (literally and figuratively). I ended up laying flat on the bed, magic wand buzzing away by my clit as I held it against it and I continued to come as he caned me.

I really appreciate how he listened to me. And how he did the things he knows cheer me up – orgasms and a beating. I’m still longing for bondage play, but I realize that I am very, very lucky even if I don’t get what I want all the time. (Who does?) It’s wonderful that I can bring up little things that bother me and impress upon him at the same time that this doesn’t mean I’m unhappy with him – I’m just trying to deal with things that bother me so we can go back to being deliriously happy rather than worrying about the nagging things.