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Busy Beaver, Part Two

Published on April 3, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, cunt, D/s, edge play, fire cupping, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, needle play, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, threesome and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

After work the next evening, Blondie was slated to come over to play with me and MasterDoc. The two of them had been hatching plans. She was curious to learn catheterization, and Doc, having training in such things, showed her how to do it – on my urethra.

They didn’t start with that, thankfully.

After dinner, they hid in the playroom to set up their diabolical plans. As I sat in the living room with DeeDee, she informed me that I’ve been having terrible abdominal pain, and that’s why I was there to see the “doctors.” Uhm hum. She then started teasing me, being an office manager Dom harassing me about my insurance not going through. It was pretty funny.

The doctors called me in to their examining room. After a brief consultation about the abdominal pains I didn’t know enough about to describe. (I think I’m terrible at medical role play.) I was told to get undressed, and I joked about keeping my socks on – after all, even the gynecologist lets me keep my socks on. I lay down on the bed, which had the Liberator wedge on it to tilt my pelvis up. The doctors started with some suction pump on my tits. It was uncomfortable but bearable. Then the lady doctor (Blondie, who in real life knows acupuncture) showed MasterDoc how to do fire cupping. This is a technique used in Chinese medicine. Glass “cups” (kinda shaped like round jars, with a lip) have a flame (alcohol-soaked cotton ball on fire) run around the inside of them and then the cups are promptly placed on the flesh – it forms a vacuum.

I soon had both nipples, my stomach, and my thighs being sucked uncomfortably into the cups. As the pressurized flesh turned purple, I was afraid of bruising. (The last time I had fire cupping done was for acupuncture, and it looked like I had been sucked on by an alien creature for about a week.) This morning there isn’t much in the way of marks. Blondie placed one of the big cups over my pussy and it sucked my labia in. It felt strange to me, Blondie likes the sensation. It didn’t bother me but it didn’t arouse me either.

They moved on to needles – acupuncture needles are easy to handle. MasterDoc wanted to use some of our regular hypodermic needles for play, but I was happy to just have the very thin acupuncture needles pressed into my flesh. The points on my ear hurt, but otherwise there was no problem. Blondie taught MasterDoc acupuncture needling. She also showed him how to put moxa on the ends of a few needles and then light it to add heat to them.

Chinese medical play finished, they got me laying over the wedge so my pelvis was tilted. Unfortunately I kept slipping down the shape and putting pressure on my poor neck. MasterDoc went to use a speculum to open me up. It hurt though, but I should put in an aside for new readers that back in 2005 I was assaulted by someone using a speculum on me in a sexual situation who then didn’t stop when I told them to. I was traumatized. I just can’t get into specula in a sexual situation. I can tolerate them at the gyno office, but last night it was more triggering. MasterDoc knows this part of my history (as does Blondie), so he of course didn’t pursue it when I said it hurt too much. He knows that he has enough experience inserting specula that it wasn’t his technique, it was my history that caused the pain and anxiety.

Writing about that just now felt more triggering than it did last night. MasterDoc handled the situation well and I was able to just move on. Next, came the catheterization. MasterDoc explained what he was doing while he was doing it. It was terribly uncomfortable (to me) to have that thing slide into my urethra. Once in place it was bearable, but I’m just not someone turned on by urethral stimulation (though others are). They drained my bladder into a cup. I can see how this is hot for some people, the control over a basic bodily function like that, but I haven’t as of yet gotten into it.

Over the course of the night it became clear that medical play mostly isn’t my thing, but since they were enjoying it, I was able to submit and let them have their fun. I knew something I’m into would come along sooner or later. Blondie picked up on how the medical play just doesn’t do it for me (for the most part). If I were to choose a role play scenario I’d probably choose something like the king and the serving girl, or the professor and naughty student. Or the slut and the random strangers who take her and ravish her. Or being kidnapped, bound and molested.

The magic wand got brought out at this point, and Blondie used it on my clit while MasterDoc fingered my pussy. They forced tons of orgasms out of me. Orgasms and squirt. Huzzah! See, I knew there would be something for me. We took a break after.

Blondie wanted to feel the fire cupping on her pussy too, so MasterDoc tried his hand at it. After a few failed attempts he got it to suction on to her pussy – pulling her labia out into this beautiful flower shape. We called DeeDee in to take a look, and I tried taking photos. The photos didn’t come out well though since the glass of the cup reflects too much light. Blondie liked how it felt and I used the magic wand vibrating on the cup attached to her pussy. She loved the feeling. After a while she agreed that it was probably best to release her swollen labia, and they remained swollen for the rest of the evening! It was something to behold.

MasterDoc made Blondie come, and I loved cuddling and caressing her upper body, enjoying the intimacy of being part of her orgasm. We got some cuddling in and I realized how much I had missed cuddling her.

Blondie did some rope bondage on me (something MasterDoc isn’t good at) and I loved the rope. She did a simple harness (not quite snug enough since I’m new to it and she didn’t want to have it too tight). MasterDoc grabbed me and kissed me while she worked on the harness. She also showed me how to do an easy tie to create a sort of spreader bar of rope between one’s ankles. It was very short (we don’t exactly have a good stash of rope around here). We tried getting me into position to fuck and unfortunately the ankles needed to be undone. But MasterDoc then fucked me from on top while I still wore the rope harness, and Blondie tortured my nipples during this. I got to come very hard again.

MasterDoc wandered off for a bit. Blondie and I cuddled and chatted. It was getting late and she planned to head home. MasterDoc, ever the gentleman, walked her to the subway.

I was very happy. And very satisfied. I’m feeling wiped out today from all my adventures.

Brief Update

Published on March 6, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, bondage, crazy, D/s, depression, emotions, flogging, foursome, kink, mental illness, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, sex, shio, spanking, squirting, stress and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

I’ve been struggling with depression this week, something that seems to happen all too often lately. This week the excuse was my turbulent hormones pre-period. Going on birth control a few months ago was supposed to help this, and it did, for a while. But I struggled a great deal this week. I’m not pleasant to be around when depressed, I see everything through a darkened eye and find negative things to dwell on. (I think my subconscious makes things up too.) Bless MasterDoc for handling me. Also, I tried hard to deal with things more calmly than I would in the past. I keep working on myself.

As a consequence, when I have had hot sex I haven’t felt like writing about it. Sorry to disappoint you all, but this will probably be just a short summary of the adventures I had this week.

Sunday and Monday nights I got to spend alone with MasterDoc. I was thrilled since recent weeks have yielded minimal time alone with him. The first night, I was struggling with insecurity as big as a football field. After sobbing that I was afraid that MasterDoc no longer had interest in sex with me – I’ll wait while you laugh at that – he fucked me three long times. And each time he pushed me over the edge of orgasm – and kept me going!

Monday night he noticed himself falling into the whole “let’s watch porn, masturbate then fuck” thing he does when he feels lazy. He decided to put more effort into that evening and soon I was laying on the bed blindfolded, with a bondage tape gag. He got good and rough with me. There was lots of biting, slapping, fingering. While fucking he made me feel like a piece of meat in that particular way that makes me love it. I loved the sensory deprivation of having most of my head wrapped up.

I went without sex for a few days. (When will I take the time to find a suitable friend with benefits?) On Friday afternoon, MasterDoc lined up this Dom and sub who we’ve played with before – for the life of me I can’t remember what I’ve called them here. We met them at a hotel and played together. With my depressed mood I had a hard time getting into things, but I did my best. Funny how even when I struggle with arousal I still end up coming and squirting a freakin’ river. Thank you, MasterDoc! After the couple left, we hung out for a little longer and he gave me a beating – something I’ve been in need of but I wasn’t quite in the headspace to enjoy. He then fucked me and I squirted yet again.

Hopefully my mood will continue to improve and I will have more adventures to share and will actually take the time to write detailed entries on them!

Nadia’s Surprise

Published on February 1, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, cunt, D/s, edge play, flogging, horny, humiliation play, kink, lesbian, masochism, needle play, nipple clamps, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, poly, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, sybian, threesome and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

MasterDoc informed me on Saturday that he had a surprise planned for me on Sunday. I looked forward to it, but at the same time I was horny and wanted to fool around! I had to be patient Saturday night, but it paid off on Sunday. You see, my surprise was Blondie coming over so the two of them could top me. Rowr.

They decided amongst themselves to do a medical scene. MasterDoc got two of his white lab coats and they each put one on. They took me into the bedroom and secured me spread eagle with the under bed restraints. I giggled a lot as they spoke as if they were doctors who were going to treat me. Apparently the treatment was for the fact that I hadn’t had an orgasm since Thursday.

But before I’d get an orgasm, they played around with clamps and clothespins. When the clover clamps were removed from my labia a few minutes later I let out a scream. Blondie seems noticeably more sadistic than MasterDoc. He had warned me a long time ago that female Doms were vicious. Blondie put a clothespin on my nasal septum – ow! You should have heard me begging to have it taken off. “Ow! Ow! Please take it off! Please take it off! I can’t take it! Please take it off!” I don’t care if that makes me sound like a wimp, it hurt like a motherfucker! After a good amount of torture (including clamps strung from my nipples to my labia) MasterDoc took on the magic wand and made me come. I gushed a ton and it must have been amazing to watch. Unfortunately that meant my throe was soaking wet the rest of the evening.

Blondie took some photos of me in flagrante delicto while bound to the bed. I will post some here when she sends them to me.

They did so much to me and it was dizzying to get so much attention, stimulation and orgasms that I’m sure I’ll leave out parts unintentionally. I hope that if Blondie or MasterDoc read this and remember something I’ve forgotten, they will leave a comment or comments.

My arms were so sore from being held above me (not to mention the fact that I tend to tense up while in bondage and being tortured like that). They let me free and then had me get on hands and knees. MasterDoc inserted two needles into one butt cheek. Blondie, who has training in acupuncture, got to try doing needle play that day (she’s done it on the receiving end before, I believe.). Unfortunately, with her experience in solid, thin acupuncture needles, she inserted the hollow hypodermic needles very slowly. MasterDoc asked later how that was for me – if it was better than his technique. I had to say no. It prolonged the pain in a bad way – pain with the first puncture, the feeling of the needle dragging through the skin and then the pain as the needle came out the skin – and didn’t seem to increase the endorphin rush at all. There was caning. And MasterDoc fingering my ass. And probably another orgasm? As I said, the afternoon is a blur.

I got a brief rest, and Blondie came back in with her strap on. Rowr. She has a nice size cock. I knelt on the bed and she tried to enter me from behind while I sucked MasterDoc’s cock, which was right in front of my face. I had to scoot to the end of the bed and put my feet on the floor so she could get the right angle. It was fucking hot to be fucked at one end and sucking cock at the other. MasterDoc seemed particularly hard. I think I was allowed to come again during this – my brain cells have been scrambled by all the delicious orgasms.

Next, they changed ends and MasterDoc fucked me while I sucked on Blondie’s strap on. I squirted some more, worrying that perhaps I was splashing the carpet a bit. I kept slacking off on the strap on sucking and getting admonished by both of them to keep it up.

We stopped for dinner, which was perfect timing. I was exhausted by this time!

After dinner, I was given the pleasure (“job” didn’t seem the right word) of warming up Blondie for a ride on the sybian. I had her on the bed, fingering her cunt. MasterDoc came in and took over and I started sucking on her tits while he fingered her. The girl let out some of her usual piercing screams of pleasure. In MasterDoc’s building I worry less about neighbors being disturbed by orgasmic shouts – as long as it’s not late at night.

We moved to the living room and I sat in front of Blondie while she rode the sybian. She could lean on me and I got to be up close as she came. It was pretty damn amazing (as always) listening to the noises that are yanked out of a woman as she becomes very aroused and orgasms. MasterDoc ran the controls and it was definitely cool to hold her during the experience. I do have a better understanding now of why MasterDoc enjoys giving sybian rides so much.

As Blondie recovered, I asked if I could get a sybian ride. (Yeah, I know, greedy slut.) MasterDoc started warming me up, then Blondie sat on my other side on the couch and they both played with my body. MasterDoc excused himself to set up the sybian for the next ride and left Blondie warming me up. This was the first sybian ride in a while for me. Blondie gave me some hard caning while I got worked up on the sybian. I asked permission to come, and MasterDoc consulted with Blondie… and she said no I couldn’t yet! Argh! She really is too tough for me. *grin* She wanted me to grind and hump the machine so I gladly obliged, hoping for permission to come. It was eventually granted, and I kept coming and coming and coming. I felt exhausted, but I couldn’t stop coming as long as the stimulation was there. It was kinda hot in a way. I collapsed on the floor for a while after, dazed and content.

Lucky

Published on January 24, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, caning, crazy, D/s, depression, emotions, gags, kink, masochism, mental illness, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex toys, spanking and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Occasionally a Dominant will read this blog and declare that MasterDoc is lucky to have me. What they don’t see is the work that goes into being my Dom and taking care of me. I make no bones about my struggle with depression and some days MasterDoc really has his hands full with me.

Certainly, in some ways he is lucky. But when I’ve slipped into depression and not realized that’s what it is, I can be horrible. The other day I just kept complaining and complaining. If my words were to be believed, MasterDoc can’t do anything right. Thankfully, part way through the day I realized MasterDoc was NOT the issue at all – depression was. Still, it was a hard day for him, but bless his heart he was patient with me the whole time, refusing to give up on me even though I could only see life through a negative lens.

I spent a lot of time alone the rest of the day, in one of his bedrooms. He would check on me periodically and DeeDee even popped in to bring me some tapioca pudding. It was a rough day for me because it was one of those rare times when I don’t just feel depressed, I feel crazy. I don’t want to get into personal details, but rest assured I was nuts and feeling miserable. I wanted to hide until I felt sane again.

Thankfully MasterDoc’s patience helped and eventually I started to feel better. That evening he gave me some delicious orgasms and feeling good physically helped me along mentally. The cuddles and his listening to me unburden the crazy thoughts in my head helped even more.

I’ve been feeling potentially unstable since then, but ultimately keeping my shit together. I had a nice weekend with MasterDoc and DeeDee, and Sunday afternoon MasterDoc and I got some time alone when I wasn’t feeling crazy. He had me blow him while he spoke on the phone, and I enjoyed having his cock in my mouth since I hadn’t had it often lately.

A bit later, he had me lay on my stomach on the bed. I lay over a pillow so my back wouldn’t bother me and the throe was between me and the pillow. He bound me down to bed using the under bed restraints. I’ve sometimes complained that I don’t get enough bondage, and the little bondage fetishist in me was doing a happy dance. He pulled the restraints snug and there was no way I could get out.

He put on my collar, a blindfold, and finally a gag. I have issues with gags that go inside the mouth and unfortunately he chose one. I did my best to remember what he taught me – breathe slowly through the nose. If you breathe too quickly your nostrils pull in and you don’t get enough air. This soon wasn’t enough, however, between a stuffy nose, the blindfold pressing on the bridge of my nose and finally trying to cope with the pain of a caning. It’s impossible to focus your breathing and breathe slowly when crying out in pain.

He didn’t go immediately to the cane, but surprised me by grabbing my ass with one of the vampire gloves I got him for his birthday last year. He swatted my ass with it, ran it up my back. It was a sensation a step away from tickling and a step away from pain. I liked it. He started caning me, and immediately before he checked to make sure I could beg for mercy through the gag. As soon as he asked that, I knew I was in for quite a ride.

He kept caning me past my usual limits. It hurt a lot, but I was able to deal with it because I knew it would end. I knew I would have a lovely sense of calm after it stopped. He would alternate with the vampire glove and every touch was a surprise. Every strike a bit of a shock.

After my ass was well reddened, he grabbed the Hitachi and placed it between my legs. He spanked a bit, I moaned and tried to get my clit in better contact with the vibe. This went on alternating and I could have come quite easily from the vibe but chose to hold off. He took the vibe away and spanked my pussy for a while. Even this was enough to put me near the edge. I finally got out, “May I please come, Sir?” (I had pushed the gag out of my mouth by this point so I could breathe.) He held off a second or two, then let me come. He pushed the Hitachi to my cunt and I kept coming harder and harder.

When he was finished I lay there, still face down, my arms and legs still bound to the bed. It was bliss. I had to ask him to release me a few minutes later because my arms were starting to hurt, secured above my head like they were. He undid my arms and ankles, and I got to cuddle close to him. I love cuddles with him. They feel amazing. Being in his arms was the best therapy I could have. I started this entry talking about how others think he’s lucky to have me, but I know that I’m lucky to have such a wonderful Dom to love and take care of me.

Dark Fantasy

Published on January 15, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dom, edge play, exhibitionism, fantasy, gang bang, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Depression is not helpful for a fun sex life, so I haven’t done anything much with MasterDoc in a few days. (Except for a therapeutic caning Tuesday night that really did seem to lift my mood.) But I’ve been thinking naughty things and figured I’d write a little fantasy. Note: I refer to MasterDoc both as Sir and MasterDoc in this story. The rest of the characters don’t have names.

I can hear people arriving from where I lay in the bedroom. I’m playing with my cunt because Sir has told me to get it ready. I have no idea who is coming into the apartment or what will happen, but I do as I’m told.

I’m fairly close to orgasm when Sir comes in. He gives me a talk, hands on either side of my face, and tells me that I’m not to let him down. I’m to be a good little cunt and do as he says. He leads me into the living room where there’s about three men and one woman. I vaguely know one or two but not the others. I’m naked, except for my collar, leather cuffs on each wrist and ankle, and a leash hanging from the D ring on my collar. Sir leads me into the center of the room with the leash.

He takes a seat in a chair, and motions for me to sit on the floor by his feet. I do so and he starts talking. “Here’s our submissive cunt for the evening. Remember, condoms are to be used for any vaginal or anal sex. You are free to fuck her or make her go down on you as you wish, but you must clear any pain play with me first.”

I don’t know whether to be excited or scared. I’m looked at like a piece of meat laid out for a pack of hungry animals. He sends me around to each of our guests and instructs me to nuzzle their crotches through their pants. I crawl up to where each sits and do as I’m told, catching a whiff of muskiness from each crotch.

After I’ve finished this, he says, “Come back here slut. It’s time we got you warmed up.” These words make me anticipate genital stimulation, but when he grabs the canes I realize that’s not what he had in mind.

My wrist cuffs are joined together in front of me by a carabiner – something too short for me to undo myself. He swats my ass with the canes as I kneel face down, ass up. I hold still when I can handle the sensation but flinch forward when it hurts. The crowd admonishes me to say still whenever I flinch and I do my best. When my ass is quite sore, MasterDoc has me kneel on the floor and take his cock out of his pants with my bound hands. I suck him hard, and when his cock is its full size he grabs hold of my hair tightly. One of the guests says, “Oh yeah, choke her on it!’

He forces my head down so that his cock is entirely in my mouth. I can feel my throat working as I struggle not to gag. I last several seconds, and then MasterDoc pulls my head away as globs of saliva run down my chin and form a string between his cock and my mouth. He does this several times until I’m breathless and a bit lightheaded. Sometimes he slaps my face when he’s pulled it off his cock. I can feel the hands of some of our guests start to grope my body. One hand checks out my wet cunt. Another squeezes a nipple.

I am thrust back down onto the floor but this time on my back. The woman grabs hold of my cuffs and holds my hands above my head. One of the men takes a cane to my thighs and cunt when MasterDoc hands it to him. I figure this was something pre-agreed upon. Thankfully, Sir had passed him the lightest cane we have.

Still, ugly red stripes start to form on my inner thighs. When he smacks my cunt with it I think I can’t possibly handle the pain. One of the men places a strip of duct tape across my mouth so my cries won’t disturb the neighbors. MasterDoc and one of the other men holds my legs apart so I can’t get away from the cane blows.

Just as the pain makes me cry, MasterDoc signals to stop. Our guests back off, and MasterDoc holds me on the floor for a little while, telling me what a good girl I am. I cry softly, but it’s a cathartic release rather than any sadness.

Dinner delivery arrives and I wonder if the delivery person can see me naked and limp on the floor in the living room. My wrists are undone and the tape removed from my mouth so I can get up and serve dinner. I set the table, fetch drinks for our guests. They take liberties in touching me as I move around the table serving. Beforehand Sir told me I would be eating dinner on the floor. One of the men secures my wrist cuffs behind my back, and I have to eat without my hands, out of a bowl. Since leaning forward with my hands behind me would be too difficult, I am graciously allowed to have my bowl on a low stool so I don’t have to bend as far. As the guests eat and talk I’m mostly ignored, until one of them wants to comment on the mess on my face. I think to myself that there are animals with more dignity than I have right then. I eat as best I can. One of the men wipes my face with a warm, wet cloth and then pulls me by the hair until my mouth envelops his cock.

I suck and feel more hands on my body. I’m helpless as my wrists are behind me. I get pinched, poked, prodded. Someone produces a vibrator and holds it to my clit. It becomes so difficult to focus on my work on our guests’ cock that I slow down my efforts. I get my hair yanked and admonished to “Get back to work you dirty whore!” I try to focus but the vibe on my clit keeps distracting me.

My head gets moved around so I can suck all the cocks there. MasterDoc is stroking his cock and sizing me up as to what to do next.

I’m taken into the bedroom, where he lubes up my ass. My wrists are unbound so I can support myself in doggy-style. The woman takes off her clothes and lays down so my mouth is right at her crotch. I’m instructed to lick her pussy well (lest I get punished) and MasterDoc shoves his cock into my ass. He fucks me and I lick the clit and lips of this woman’s wet cunt. She moans and it seems like I’m doing a good job. MasterDoc, however, keeps varying his speed so I get terribly aroused and distracted. I’m desperate to come but I know that it won’t happen quickly tonight.

I had been asking for resistance play sometime, and I was told earlier that I would get it tonight. After a short break, for which I’m thankful, Sir slaps my face and grabs me by the hair. “Time to fight, cunt.” he tells me.

I struggle to get loose but of course our guests join in and grab various limbs. I feel myself forced onto the bed where my cuffs get secured to the underbed restraints. I struggle up until the last moment and at times I manage to slip an arm or a leg away from my tormentors. But in the end it’s useless. I’m spread eagle on the bed, terribly vulnerable. I’m gagged again, and blindfolded this time.

I feel the cool rub of alcohol swabs at various points on my body. MasterDoc gives a demonstration of play piercing to our guests. I get called all sorts of degrading names – fuck hole, pincushion, slut, cunt, bitch – while he pierces me. I get incredibly anxious when I feel him swab my outer labia – both sides. “This is gonna hurt, cunt.” he tells me. He has me breathe in deeply, and then while I’m breathing out he slides a sharp, sharp needle through one of my outer labia. We’ve done this before, but it’s still somehow shocking to have my labia pierced.

Sir strokes my body (and probably some guests do too, I’m not sure since I can’t see) to soothe me before he plants another needle in the other labia. He tugs on it a bit and I moan under my gag. A few more needles go in the skin on my chest, these are a bit hesitant so I wonder if it’s one or more of the guests doing the piercing. I can hear someone’s breath drawn in sharply. They’ve gotten a thrill from piercing me. From making me hurt. One of them says something admiringly about the tiny drop of blood that one of the piercings has brought out.

The needles are withdrawn and I can hear movements. Next thing I know, I’m being fucked by guest after guest. I’m allowed to come during this and keep orgasming too many times to count. The woman goes at me with her strap on. She’s positively vicious with pinching my nipples. The gag is taken off and a cock shoved into my mouth while my cunt is being fucked. The dual action of a cock being shoved into my throat and a cock being shoved into my cunt is overwhelming. Soon I’m gasping and drooling between cock thrusts. The lot of them make me come more than I ever thought possible while taking turns violating my body. I squirt a few times and can feel the throe beneath me soaking wet.

“You said you wanted me to be rougher with you,” says MasterDoc. He rips off the blindfold and I watch him jerk off onto throe. The guests undo my bindings, and MasterDoc shoves my face into his come and rubs me into it. As he holds my head to the puddle of come, I can feel other guys shooting their loads all over my back. I’m a totally come-covered whore. And honestly, it’s bliss.

The guys take me into the shower and MasterDoc commands me to kneel down. I’m sticky with come and they offer to rinse me off. It seems like I’m instantly surrounded and they’re all pissing on me. I cry silently from the humiliation. They all tell me what a dirty piss whore I am.

They leave me, reeking of piss and shivering in the cold tub. The last thing Sir said when he left was that I was allowed to shower. I quickly rinse the piss off my body and out of my hair. I towel off and put my cuffs and collar back on and return to the living room where everyone’s having drinks.

MasterDoc motions for me to sit on the sofa next to him and I do. He puts his solid arms around me and kisses my forehead. “You’ve been a very good slut today. I’m proud of you.” I glow with pride over having been used, abused and come through it feeling amazingly calm. Endorphins rock.

Our guests leave a short time later, all thanking me for the good time. I thank them of course and MasterDoc has me kneel on the floor and kiss everyone’s crotches goodbye.

After they’ve left, we snuggle in bed. I’m exhausted but so very happy.

Fantasy Vignettes

Published on January 4, 2011 in bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, D/s, edge play, exhibitionism, fantasy, gags, gang bang, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

Scene 1: I’ve been kidnapped and I awaken tied up, naked, wrists and ankles bound, duct tape across my mouth. He teases and tantalizes my body despite my protests. My nipples receive the clover clamps. He grabs me by the hair and makes me suck his cock after he rips the tape off. He makes me come over and over despite my fighting it. He fucks me while I’m unable to get away because I’m bound.

Scene 2: Struggling with him, fighting him off. Him calling me a whore and other degrading things. Him slapping me around. Him spanking me even when I start getting desperate for him to stop. He could just gag me with duct tape and go to town on my ass with the cane. I could lay over the axis for the beating, and then be in just the right position for a fucking.

Scene 3: He fucks my mouth as I hang my head off the end of the bed. He gags me repeatedly on his cock. At the end, he comes all over my face.

Scene 4: He blindfolds me and lets all sorts of people at the swing club play with me and fuck me. I don’t get to know who fucked me.

Scene 5: I’m intoxicated to the edge of sleep and then fucked repeatedly by a group of men, all orchestrated by MasterDoc. This would be videotaped so I could fully enjoy after.

Scene 6: I have to do my best to move around and do things like suck his cock while my arms are restrained behind my back.

Scene 7: I become his slave for a few hours. I have to sit at his feet. I have to be always respectful or I get the cane. He would use me as he likes sexually. He can make me sit in the corner or tie me to something at a whim. I’d have to get his permission to use the toilet. He would make me wait until I was desperate and begging for it, and then he’d bring me (by leash perhaps?) into the bathroom, where he’d let me pee in the tub through my panties.

Scene 8: I ‘m bound at a party at his place (possibly just hands behind back or perhaps some ankle restraint as well so I have to shuffle along as I walk) and the guests get to play with my naked body as it pleases them. My hands are released for dinner but I have to eat mine out of a bowl on the floor, seated next to his chair, while the guests eat at the table. He later makes me masturbate to orgasm in front of the crowd. With a little luck, I squirt when I come.

Super Slut

Published on December 6, 2010 in bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, D/s, DeeDee, exhibitionism, kink, non-monogamy, restraints, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

DeeDee was out for the day, helping a friend. So I got some alone time with MasterDoc. I was horny and hoping for a fucking, but I have to admit I was pretty damn happy with what I got. I just got a magic wand controller for review (a rheostat) and we tried it out for its first run. (Review to come later. ) MasterDoc delighted my bondage-loving self by securing me to the bed with the under bed restraints. He teased me for a while considering the controller gave him even more fine-tuned control over the magic wand. (But it doesn’t dial up to the highest wand setting. Totally weird.) When he first pressed the wand to my cunt, I wasn’t wet yet so it hurt sometimes. He tried to push me to coming but I wasn’t ready when he gave permission. I kinda looked at him hopelessly, as if to say I wanted to come but just couldn’t. He pressed on (literally) and before long he had me coming hard. He made me come over and over (squirting like crazy) and left me exhausted after. I was in a happy place and he let me know that it’s good I found my happy place that afternoon as DeeDee was going to be his focus at the party we were going to that night. (She had been away recently and he and I were leaving shortly for a trip together.) I negotiated with him what I could do at the party. I made the point of saying that if I had freedom to go and make my own fun, I don’t mind not being his focus. He granted me permission to fuck without immediately getting his permission before doing so. I pointed out that I would be going in a different head space than usual – instead of docile sub looking to him for all the decisions, I would be in charge of myself and my safety. I would be in charge of speaking up if I didn’t want to do something. Armed with the right mindset I didn’t mind being there semi-solo.

Sometimes I forget the early days when I went to my first sex parties. I went as a single woman and had a fabulous time just fucking as much as I wanted to. While I love being MasterDoc’s sub and slut, I do like having the autonomy from time to time to grab my sexual desires by the lapel. As I got dressed I felt like I was totally hot shit with the weight loss (and my new over-the-knee boots). I’m not usually confident like that, and it felt good.

At the party my usual social anxiety turned up as my being negative about the party. I complained that I was so much younger than most people there. I try not to be ageist (I will be in my 50s + soon enough!) but I mostly go for people my own age sexually. As you know from my relationship with MasterDoc, however, everything has an exception. It’s a matter of clicking with someone and feeling safe around them. After I had a few drinks I loosened up. I got flirty with a guy I was eying since I walked in and he had immediately introduced himself (and got me a drink). We popped down to the basement to see if the violet wand play was still going on. It wasn’t and he and I started making out. (Funny story: MasterDoc went to the basement at the same time to give a sybian ride to someone. He saw this couple making out and thought “Rowr! She’s hot. I gotta get Nadia and DeeDee so I can set up a swap and get with her.” Of course, that “her” was me. Since losing weight I suppose I looked different. It’s incredibly awesome to know that the regular man in your life still thinks you’re hot.)

The guy I was with suggested going upstairs to find somewhere to sit. I suggested we find somewhere to lay down.

Yes, I’m a huge slut. What of it?

As we started making out on the mattress laid on the floor in one of the bedrooms, I discovered his leanings are dominant. Oh boy, we know how weak dominant sex partners make me! There was hair pulling, kissing, fingering me good and hard. I came over and over and over. I’m pretty sure the whole house could hear me (if not the whole neighborhood). He encouraged me to scream. I don’t need much encouragement.

He was good at making me come just as long as he wanted. I’m sure MasterDoc’s work on sensitizing me has a lot to do with it, but I was somewhat dismayed to find there’s more than one man who can force me to orgasm. Why, you may ask? Because as much as I love coming being pushed to the ends of my endurance and be so difficult.

After a million orgasms for me, and a quick cuddle, I gave this guy the best blow job I could and he loved it. When he said he was ready to come I finished him off with my hands (I don’t let guys come in my mouth until I know them really well.) It was a successful interlude I must say.

I got a break from coming and got more food. I ended up chatting with a variety of people (particularly about sex in the library) and then again with the guy I had fooled around with. He seemed smitten. It was nice to experience. He suggested going upstairs to watch whatever might be going on. Alas, DeeDee was resting and MasterDoc was in the loo. But after a bit MasterDoc could be found spanking and fingering the hostess. I watched some and got really hot again. The guy told me to get on my knees and like the slut that I am I knelt and blew him in the hallway.

I said good night to that guy a little later, and started flirting with the hot young guy there (who has a big cock. His scene name reflects his cock size.). I was relaxing on the bed in the next bedroom and the male host of the party started my stroking thighs. He did that dom sort of feeling out a situation by starting to play with my thighs. When I didn’t object he went further. He finger fucked me and jeez my pussy was sore the next day. He fucked me, and the hot guy with the big cock came up behind my head on the bed. I got to enjoy cock choking as my head hung off the bed with him sliding his cock deep into my throat. I was doing so much choking that my nose was runny, my eyes tearing, and my hair a complete mess. I certainly looked like a used slut. Mr. Big Cock fucked me from behind, until I apparently got dry. “Dammit just use lube,” I thought.

I had a great time. MasterDoc came in and fucked me at one point, doggy style, and I loved having him join in. I sucked the host’s cock while stroking Mr. Big Cock with one hand. I was the epitome of slutiness. And I was enjoying every second. I got to come some more with MasterDoc’s permission, and the guys by my face wouldn’t let me get away with sliding off into orgasm and forgetting to suck cock. That in itself was pretty hot.

I wanted Mr. Big Cock to fuck me again, and he had me blow him. The blow job seemed to go on and on and he didn’t get around to fucking me again. He spanked me, it was lacking a little finesse but it made me come. By this time I was thoroughly exhausted. I was so glad to go home. The next morning my stomach muscles were sore from coming so much.

I had a great time.

Cane Stripes and Squirting

Published on November 27, 2010 in bdsm, bondage, caning, cunt, D/s, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, shio, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

This week, with so much time spent alone with MasterDoc, has been great. The sex has been amazing. Now I know it’s always amazing, but to get so much of it, all to myself has been divine.

This weekend he’s away visiting another girlfriend, and I don’t really have any plans. I hope to get stuff done that perhaps I’m putting off (packing up things I need to return or exchange). When MasterDoc called me up Thursday to say he’s changed his plans for the weekend (I had expected to see him), I put my new-found effort of being a good sub to the test. I felt grumpy when he told me, but I kept it to myself. Then, I took the time to weigh the issue as soon as we got off the phone – was it worth getting upset over? I realized that no, some time to myself this weekend wasn’t a big deal. I think part of why it seemed like a big deal to me last week is that I had had such a craptacular week at work. This week has been interrupted by the holiday, so I’m in a better place overall.

In the meantime, MasterDoc gave me cane stripes on my inner thighs – and made me come from it. (They’ve sadly faded.) He had secured me down with the underbed restraints. The inner thigh caning teetered on the edge of being highly arousing and hurting. The line was crossed back and forth a few times. I think it still amazes me that I can come from pain. Before I met MasterDoc I only identified as sub. But after a while in my relationship with him I realized that I’m a masochist too. (But I don’t consider myself a pain slut.)

He slapped my pussy to orgasm, and I could hear him chuckling as I squirted and his slaps became wet and splashy. I was coming, so I had no ability to say, “Hey, stop laughing!” Of course, being mid-orgasm I could give a shit about him laughing. My priorities are in the right place – orgasm first.

I rode his cock and came so much after he teased me for a bit. I find that when I’ve exercised before sex my poor hip and thigh muscles get more of a workout during fucking. I can often push myself past where I think can go, just because the feel of his cock inside me distracts me from muscle fatigue. After I came, I kept his cock inside me and got so used to sitting on it that I forgot it was in when I got off abruptly. Yeah, saying, “I forgot it was in there!” is never a good thing to say to a guy. Luckily he knew what I meant.

He was so kind to fuck me from on top since my body was tired out. I felt so turned on that I could feel the head of his cock slide through my vaginal canal in detail. Each time it went by, my highly sensitized cunt was overwhelmed by the feeling of pressure of his cock head. He made me come that day until I thought I’d pass out – a couple of times. He said recently that he wants to try to push me to see if he can force me to come without permission. He was definitely working on that! It felt amazing, but I could manage to pull myself back from the edge enough to not go over without his command but I totally didn’t want to stop myself. I know he knows me well, however, and would know if I came without trying to stop myself. Luckily, he gave the command to come a few times.

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MasterDoc and I will be vacationing in Orlando, FL shortly. If anyone in that area is interested in paying to see our usual show of him dominating me, drop me a line via the form on this blog.

The Next Steps?

Published on November 11, 2010 in analingus, bdsm, bondage, D/s, dom, emotions, gang bang, humiliation play, kink, masochism, musings, piss play, restraints, sex parties, submissive, swinging, trust, Uncategorized and wishing box. 1 Comment

As my D/s relationship with MasterDoc develops, the focus can change over time. When I first met him of course the focus was teaching me precisely how he likes to be pleasured, getting me to remember to say “Sir,” and training my ability to come at his command. On the service side of things he taught me what chores he wants me to do, and how to prepare things how he likes them, etc.

Recently I’ve felt like there’s a shift – the shift hasn’t happened just yet but it feels like a new phase of our relationship is ready to begin. I’ve been contemplating for at least a week now telling him that if he wants me to lick his ass, then I would respect him even more if he made me do it despite my dislike of the activity. I think I’m at the point now where him making me do a few things I dislike (but know full well won’t harm me) is the way to go. Not so much to exercise power, but I think he, as the Dom, should feel free to engage in whatever experiences he would like to – and not give as much concern over what I like to do.* Of course, I’ve hesitated to say anything because I’m worried this is a case of “be careful of what you wish for!” But I feel like I need to take another step into being his submissive on perhaps a deeper level than before. We’re at a point where if he makes me lick his ass I’m not going to consider leaving him. If he pisses in my mouth I’m not going to leave him. I don’t like these activities and hope they don’t become frequent, but I feel like if he’s the Dom then he should use me as he likes.

We’ve watched a lot of porn on theupperfloor.com lately and it’s been giving him all sorts of ideas. The forced exercise I found too painful to watch. I hate exercise but can handle it better if I’m doing it by myself and of my own volition. But the scene where the slave was hooded (and therefore couldn’t see) and forced to scrub the floor while the dominant whipped or fingered her – that was damn hot. Just scrubbing a floor isn’t hot to me. But being in some sort of bondage/blindfolding/gagging and being watched over by the man who delivers such delicious torment to me, that would be hot.

The Upper Floor has also made me crave kinky parties where I could serve and be toyed with by the guests freely. Not only toyed with but perhaps also gang-banged.

MasterDoc and I talked briefly about the idea of things like positions the sub needs to learn and use in certain situations. He was never into that, but I’ve been curious about it and now feels like a time to maybe delve into some of that, to maybe have a little more protocol than we currently have? (We’ve never been big on protocol other than calling him Sir and being respectful and obedient.) I’m also wishing for more bondage in my life.

All this is dependent on what MasterDoc wants and thinks is right. I’m merely expressing my willingness and desire to go a little further into submission and service to him. I feel like I need to be pushed a little.

* This meaning that of course I hope my needs will still be met, but I think he should feel more latitude in making me satisfy his needs even if I find an act distasteful.

Review: Manbound Leather Blindfold

Published on October 27, 2010 in bondage, reviews, sex toys and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I’ve slowed down reviewing in recent months due to reaching a saturation point when it comes to sex toys. (There’s a few I would gladly review if I could get them though. Lelo Siri top on that list! I don’t think I’d turn down anything Lelo.) But vibrator.com offered to send me a product, and my favorite blindfold had gone missing just a short time before, so I asked for the Manbound Leather Blindfold.

Blindfolds are inexpensive and easy to find, but finding well-designed ones can be tricky. They are popular items for couples looking to explore a bit – BDSM interest not necessary, you can merely use them to heighten your other senses by blocking your sight. You can blindfold your partner then glide various textured items across their skin, asking them to guess the item as well tell you as what sensations feel best. Most blindfolds are kidney-shaped, fabric and have elastic that goes around your head. The problem with these blindfolds is that the bridge of the nose lifts it up somewhat, so the wearer can see a bit, particularly if they are laying down. This is not ideal. I’ve also had the elastic come off at the seam.

The Manbound Blindfold is not as inexpensive as those types of blindfolds, but neither will it break the bank, and it works much better. It’s soft leather on the outside and fabric on the inside, with some sort of foam between the layers providing cushioning. The blindfold is shaped in such a way that it fits around your nose, thus eliminating the usual places the wearer can sneak peeks through. The leather straps have velcro on the end, so the blindfold can be secured around the head – and fit different sized heads. It presses down on the nostrils a bit, which can annoy me (I’m prone to a stuffy nose!) but probably wouldn’t be an issue for most people. It’s comfortable and overall I can recommend this.

It’s not my #1 favorite blindfold (Liberator’s microfiber blindfold still holds that spot, but it’s only sold as part of a kit and costs more than the Manbound one.), but it is a strong second. Vibrator.com also has similar blindfolds available, some costing a little less than this one.

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This item for review was provided free of charge by Vibrator.com. I was expected to give an honest review, and I have done so here. I received no other benefits or payment from the company other than these toys.