And I send out lots of love to those who continue to read about my exploits. This blog would be so much less without wonderful readers.

Top Sex Bloggers 2010 originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on June 17, 2010.

After dinner, he asked me what I felt more in the mood for – being beaten or sex. I replied that I was keen on something that’s bdsm play, but not necessarily impact play. He acknowledged my earlier request and when we headed to the bedroom he had me gather the items I asked for. Hooray! He also had me get the snake bite suckers, the magic wand, riding crop, needles and alcohol wipes.

He had me put in the ball gag, which stayed on for the entirety of the scene. I was happy to finally find a gag that doesn’t set off my gag reflex. (I used the smallest ball it came with.) As I lay on my back on the bed, he attached the snake bite suction cups to my nipples and clit. The kit comes with two larger cups and one thinner one that’s just right for the clit. I could really feel my clitoris sucked into the tube. It was a strangely arousing yet slightly uncomfortable feeling. He flicked the cups with his fingers and the crop. He ran the Wartenburg wheel over my body. I love how it feels over my skin, however it does certainly get the nerves responding. I flinch this way and that as he runs the spiky wheel over my flesh.

He had me sit up and he commented on how silly the snake bite suckers looked. He flicked them some more and took the crop to my inner thighs a little. He removed the suckers and had me lay down again, this time he ran the Wartenburg wheel over sensitive bits like my clit, labia and nipples. Ouch! It truly hurt at those moments, but he didn’t linger. He did run the wheel over those bits repeatedly.

He had me get on hands and knees, and he propped the magic wand against my clit. He warned me not to move or let the magic wand move. Then he gave me more wheel, this time running up and down my back which made me shiver. And running it across my asshole was painful! He tormented me as the magic wand did its thing. I reached back a couple of times to re-situate the wand, and he let me do this.

I was approaching orgasm when I felt him clean off my right ass cheek with an alcohol swab. I knew what was coming and the tension building – both the orgasmic tension and the nerves that come before being pierced – made my body super sensitive. He pierced my ass, slapped the needle once it was in my skin and I rode out the endorphin rush as the magic wand buzzed away at my clit. The mixture of pain and pleasure was delightful (says this masochist). He pierced me again, alongside the other needle (as near as I can tell). Again, more endorpins.

He told me to come and as I did I squirted a gallon. I could feel the fluid rush over the head of the magic wand and down my thighs. It must have drenched MasterDoc’s hand as he held the wand to my clit.

I was a little disappointed that I didn’t manage to drool around the gag, that would have been hot. But I do like the breathing holes it has. But I shouldn’t complain one bit here, the whole scene was hot and I came. Oh yes, I came.

Sensation Play originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on March 25, 2010.

It’s here. Finally. I promised it earlier, I know. Life got in the way (I’ll talk about it in my next post). That, and I had well over 150 unique nominations this year, counting all the comments and the nominations I received via email. Last year, I didn’t get nearly as many, and a good number of the nominations were my own.

I first compiled this list last year as a way to recognize the people who are courageous enough to put their lives or fantasies or opinions (or all three and more) out there to entertain and inspire the rest of us. I also hoped that this would bring new readers to every blogger on the list, and I had hoped that it would be an icebreaker way for bloggers to get to know one another. It was a smashing success, so I decided to make it an annal event.

This year, I had a number of other sex bloggers and readers help me with the judging. Special thanks to:

• Lilly (from This Could be Dangerous)
• Nadia West (from Diary of a Kinky Librarian)
• SSS and ♀ (from Sweat Shop Sissy)
• Mischief (from The Sexual Buzz)
• Vixen (from Secrets of a Blue-Eyed Vixen and Tits for Troops)
• Amber (from Scarlet’s Letter)
• Miss KissThis (from Miss KissThis)
• DeDe the Deviant Dyke (from Deviant Dyke)
• Monica
• Sara
• Sarah
• Sera (from Letters from a Seraglio)
• Sexy @ Forty (from Sexy @ Forty)

If you helped me and I missed your name or linked your incorrectly, PLEASE email me so I can fix it. For example else, you can say “thanks for the list” by visiting all of these websites and getting to know these wonderful men and women.

At the end of the day, even with the help of all the other judges, there were still ties or moments when I just felt like a certain blogger was being judged too harshly. This is still my list, still my opinion. So if you have beef, take it up with me, not with any of the other judges.

And now, without further ado, the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009:

1. Coquitten (website)
2. Alexa (website)
3. AAG (website)
4. Bad, Bad Girl (website)
5. TBK (website)
6. Mistress Matisse (website)
7. Miss Mia (website)
8. Thursday’s Child (website)
9. Roger (website)
10. Sinclair (website)
11. Sylvanus…
12. and Mina (website)
13. Natt Nightly (website)
14. Jake (website)
15. Lyn (website)
16. Adriana Ravenlust (website)
17. Sexy Sadie (website)
18. Shay (website)
19. Lilly (website)
20. Nadia (website)
21. Joan Price (website)
22. Madison (website)
23. Anal Amy (website)
24. Z (website)
25. Essin Em (website)
26. Easily Aroused (website)
27. Blacksilk (website)
28. Sleeping Dreamer (website)
29. Melen…
30. and rayne…
31. and Master KKT…
32. and cinnamon (website)
33. That Toy Chick (website)
34. Red (website)
35. Tom Allen (website)
36. Vix (website)
37. Coy Pink (website)
38. Lady Pandorah (website)
39. BackseatBoohoo (website)
40. Epiphora (website)
41. Aurore (website)
42. Miss KissThis (website)
43. Storm (website)
44. Ron Jazz (website)
45. Josie Jacobs (website)
46. Distracted (website)
47. Deviant Dyke (website)
48. Joanna Cake (website)
49. Sapphire Jay (website)
50. Sarah (website)
51. Kimberly (website)
52. Duchess (website)
53. Figleaf (website)
54. The Caged Songbird (website)
55. Kaya (website)
56. Ms. Justine (website)
57. Luka (website)
58. Ang (website)
59. Perverted Negress (website)
60. Harlot (website)
61. Vixen (website)
62. Anakan…
63. and Padme (website)
64. Wilhemina (website)
65. Axe (website)
66. Amber (website)
67. Lucy Vonne (website)
68. Rogue (website)
69. SSS (website)
70. Kyle (website)
71. Amorous Rocker (website)
72. Sera (website)
73. Lolita Wolf (website)
74. Elle (website)
75. Scarlet St Syr (website)
76. Charlotte Thorpe (website)
77. An Unassuming Girl (website)
78. Maymay (website)
79. True Pleasure (website)
80. Bad Influence Girl (website)
81. Diva (website)
82. Raven Quince (website)
83. Autumn (website)
84. Vanilla Impaired (website)
85. Wil (website)
86. Rayne (website)
87. Panthera Pardus (website)
88. Ell (website)
89. Miss Communication…
90. and Captain Pants…
91. and A.E. (website)
92. Roxy (website)
93. Secretly Naughty (website)
94. Abby Williams (website)
95. Subheart (website)
96. Sequoia Redd (website)
97. Innocent Loveboy (website)
98. Liljgrrl…
99. and Nawa*G (website)

YOU! As always that last person on the list is you. Please, please, please leave a comment below promoting your own blog (or the blog of someone you love). Links are welcome, as long as they lead us to a sex-related blog, not a retail website or porn aggregation site.

BTS’ Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009 originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on November 8, 2009.

I got to meet Mollena, who I really wanted to meet. I love her blog, she’s an excellent writer and also does bdsm education (she did three classes at Floating World this past weekend). So I was all fan girl meeting her and when I told her I write Diary of a Kinky Librarian she stepped back, and bowed to me with arms outstretched above her head. I couldn’t believe it! I feel like I’m such a nobody and to have that reaction was really nice. She gave me a hug and I really hope I get the chance to hang out and talk with her at another event down the road. (I was hurrying off to a class at the time.)

I went to the managing a household lecture and picked up some tips and inspiration for being better at the service submissive side of things. After, I luckily found MasterDoc and DeeDee quickly – DeeDee had given in to buying a corset herself. MD said he wondered where I was and when I said I went to the household management class like I said I was going to – MD said he had thought it was a joke. But no, no joke. We went to vending at this time and he bought three canes as the deal was three for $50. We shall see how I like them when we try them out.

We went out for dinner, then back to DeeDee’s hotel room for a threesome. Since she hadn’t yet had an orgasm or sex that weekend, and in appreciation for giving MasterDoc and I time alone the night before, we focused on DeeDee (at least that was my inspiration). It was loads of fun. She lay on the bed naked between us. MasterDoc kissed her while I played with her nipples. I stroked her body as he went down on her for a while, and he popped his head up for a moment to tell me to be ready to take over. So when he finished I got between her legs and licked her cunt while he played with her upper half and kissed her. After a bit, I slid a finger in and stroked where I thought her g-spot was. (Yes, I’m a little clueless even after all this time – I estimate the location.) And later added a second finger. Her moans were enough to tell me I was doing a good job.

MasterDoc handed me the magic wand and I pressed it to her clit. She was in danger of coming (without having permission yet) and so I had to back off with the wand a little. MasterDoc got her on all fours and fucked her while I pressed the wand to her clit. She had to help reposition it a few times (you try keeping a wand on a clit that keeps moving as the woman gets fucked and you’re reaching around and under her!) She did get permission to come and came pretty hard. I really enjoyed watching and participating. It was all very hot. After, she said to me, “Nadia, you really know your way around a woman’s body!” So very nice to hear.

We got dressed and went to the play space (me in leather cincher and plaid schoolgirl skirt). MasterDoc’s sybian came out for the first time and we got it set up in the play area on a mat. I got to ride it first – the other two ladies lined up were nervous. I grinded my crotch into the machine as it vibrated against me. I begged for permission to come and was allowed to come right away. I came like a woman possessed. Jaw slack, moaning, screaming, crying out, “Oh fuck!” He kept me on there for a good long while and I came over and over again. He slapped my face a few times and I just loved it.

After me, another Dom’s sub had a ride.  (He is the person who was at the party where I was assaulted who wrote to me via MasterDoc recently on fetlife to apologize for not speaking up. Anyway, we were friendly with him and his subs over the weekend.) She enjoyed herself, but didn’t come. She had gotten on with her panties on as it was that time of the month, and the lace fabric between her and the machine made the situation less than ideal. But she did enjoy it and wants to try again sometime. Her Dom cuddled her on the futon we had laid next to the sybian mat and I chatted with them while DeeDee got prepared for her ride. (This other sub is in library school – I ran into a fair number of librarians there!)

DeeDee received her first ride. It was fun to watch and MasterDoc motioned to me to get the paddle for him.  He used the paddle a bit as she moaned and came. He handed it to me and had me paddle her butt as well. Then he had me slap her ass with my bare hand for a while. She was on the sybian a while and seemed to have a wonderful time. She also needed to lay on the futon and receive some after care. I cleaned up our stuff when it became apparent that no one else wanted to give the sybian a ride. (Their loss!) And I joined MasterDoc and DeeDee on the futon as I had very few cuddles that day. I was saying goodbye to MD and DeeDee shortly after that, and heading home. MasterDoc spent the extra night with DeeDee and took the train home in the morning.

Odds and ends: I loved how there was acceptance of so many kinks. There’s plenty of things there that I have no interest in doing (they just don’t turn me on) but people were free to do whatever they were into (within reason) fire play, pony play, age play, needles, blood, suspension, bondage, spanking, flogging, etc. etc. There was a diverse crowd there – women from Lesbian Sex Mafia, queer people of all stripes, straights, pansexuals, etc. and a great deal of acceptance for people being who they were.

We ran into some people we knew from around New York – the Dom that had come over months before with his three submissives – he was there with slave number one.  I had hoped to run into someone I knew on fetlife who likes this blog, but she and I never managed to cross paths although she did run into MasterDoc in the hall at the hotel and introduced herself. It was nice to become friendly with that Dom who knew me from the bad party years ago. I saw Vera from FYN and chatted for a while. (And suggested that I can help write copy in exchange for product! I have copywriting experience.) We saw S’s daughter there (along with her friend the librarian I had a couple of dates with a while back who was with her when I saw her at In The Flesh). It was a little awkward as she’s not comfortable around MasterDoc (as he’s schtupping her mother and could conceivably tell her mother about her activities. Granted, her mother and her each know the other is kinky, but of course the details end there.) but she made a point to say hello to me when he wasn’t nearby. I saw MinaMeow and her girlfriend, and one woman Davey dates. I got to meet John Baku and remind him of the interview I did with him for Best Sex Bloggers that never got published. (He didn’t like how he sounded, and he’s not much for writing. I told him to let me know what he wants to say and I will work out how to write it. It’s not investigative journalism, more of a puff piece.) Anyway I’m not to worried about it at this point. It may never see the light of day.)

All in all, I had a good weekend, and I got home late on Sunday night. I was spent.

Floating World, Day Three originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on August 25, 2009.

I sometimes find myself wishing that I lived or worked in New York City, because there’s all sorts of sexy events attended by sex bloggers on weekday evenings that are hard for me to get to. I’m sure they don’t realize this, but to an “outsider” (using the term loosely) the whole thing seems terribly glamorous. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with a bunch of sexy, sex-positive, smart and dynamic women? (Yes, there are guy bloggers too but I find myself mostly following women’s blogs.) I feel a bit like a groupie at times – wanting to be part of this glamorous grouping and yet feeling like I’m just dorky old me who doesn’t fit in.

Of course, all these sex bloggers (in NYC and elsewhere) who I admire probably think of themselves (at least some of the time) as “dorky old me” as well. I know that I certainly don’t think of myself as someone who’s part of the “cool crowd” but to someone on the outside I might seem that way. And that’s odd to think about. There’s a certain glamour to being a sex blogger, even if the blogger doesn’t feel that way about themselves. So I want to tell all you wonderful sex bloggers who I read: I look at you as the “cool kids” who I’d love to hang out with. And I appreciate that when it comes down to it, bloggers are regular people who welcome me to join them at these cool events. My only wish was that I was better able to get to them.

An Open Fan Letter to Sex Bloggers originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on June 8, 2009.

New Series at Best Sex Bloggers originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on January 19, 2009.

I started off the year having a great sex, albeit with the hindrance of prozac killing my libido and response. I didn’t consider myself a masochist at the start of the year, but in early February I changed that identification of myself. On the other hand, I started off the year bruising quite nicely, but now I barely bruise on my ass. I was also struggling with coming on command – not quite able to hold myself at a peak of arousal and not always able to come when permission was granted. Davey watched me get Dommed by MasterDoc and MasterDoc made me eat out of a bowl on the floor like a dog. MasterDoc and I continued doing shows for strangers.

In February I fucked a black guy for the first time in my life, and the entry was titled (at MasterDoc’s insistence) “BBC and Me.” My dose of prozac was lowered, which helped my libido and ability to come, but not by much (didn’t help my depression). MasterDoc decided we were going to lose weight together and we embarked on exercising and eating better. S. and I gave Davey a surprise threesome for his birthday.

In March I spent a lot of time reflecting on submission, what it means to me and why I do it. It’s been good to re-read those entries. I also waxed poetic about being face slapped. I suffered a bout of depression and clearly the lowered dose of prozac wasn’t adequate. It was also nearing the anniversary of the time I was sexually assaulted at a play party, and I still dwelled quite a bit on that.

In April I started off the month reflecting on why I enjoy public sex.  Davey, MasterDoc and I attempted double penetration but were unsuccessful (this is still true). I participated in sugasm for the first time. I wrote a bit about feminism and submission. We used a female condom for sex one time. I masturbated without permission and felt horribly guilty about it and confessed right away. At some point along the way I fell in love with MasterDoc. I had a challenging evening when we had a woman guest and I felt superfluous to the whole situation.

In May I proclaimed my average-ness. I started lusting after Photoshop and Dreamweaver to make my own site (I was still on blogspot at the time). And MasterDoc’s Puppy came for a visit. I had the first hint that maybe I could come without genital stimulation at some point. I purchased this domain and started trying to figure out how to get a blog up and running. I ended up going with wordpress, which I got installed for me.

My ass actually blistered a little bit after a spanking in June during one of our shows. I got called a pillow princess and reflected on my selfishness in bed, resolving to be less selfish. I discussed being assaulted three years ago at a play party and worked some more on dealing with the residual trauma from that. The swing club we frequent added a spanking bench, much to my and MasterDoc’s joy. I got swatted with a cane for the first time. I got good enough at riding the edge of orgasm that I could come when given the command (with genital stimulation).

I officially moved to kinkylibrarian.net at the start of July. (Looks like a few entries didn’t carry over when I made the switch. The old blog is still up, however.) I started talking about an interest in edge play like needle play and cutting. D.S. came for a visit and we had a very hot simultaneous orgasm. I contemplated many things like leading a double life, masochism and submission. I finally came without genital stimulation – and squirted too! I was on wellbutrin (in addition to prozac) for a little while by this time, and my sex drive had fully returned. I talked a little about early D/s experiences. I despaired over being denied orgasm, but was thrilled to have MasterDoc come in my mouth for the first time. MasterDoc and I had been seeing each other for a year by the end of this month.

In August I started participating in Half Nekkid Thursday, which I’ve done sporadically since. I struggled a bit with being a submissive and really opening myself up to someone – including giving MasterDoc my passwords to a few sites. We went to a hot (HOT) pool party. I started blogging over at Best Sex Bloggers. I spoke out about STIs and education. I had a very hot round of anal sex with MasterDoc, where I asked for more lube but then came really hard when he fucked me without adding lube. I enjoyed a moment of schadenfreude when I got to watch the online downfall of the guy who assaulted me (Jefferson). I don’t think I’ve blogged about the assault since – the experience of seeing him called on his bullshit by so many people really helped me heal a great deal.

September started out with me adding Babeland as an affiliate. (Still hasn’t netted me any money, but I still feel good about promoting that business.) I made the list of Top 100 Sex Bloggers. I also started reviewing toys, first for Lelo then for Babeland. Davey and I had a foursome while on vacation. MasterDoc and I gave an impromptu show one afternoon, then saw a couple in the evening. It dawned on me that our little shows technically make me a sex worker. I saw D.S. for one last time before he moved to San Francisco. I added Vibe Review as an affiliate at the end of the month.

In October, I put a toy into MasterDoc’s ass for the first time. I also wrote the terrific line, “I was a horny mass of sluttiness at that point.” I continued to try to get my head around the idea of him pissing on me. I wrote a little about dealing with depression while being submissive and how a beating can really make me feel better. MasterDoc made me come by slapping my clit. I talked about my early sexual and bdsm experiences. I had a bout of depression and cried during a scene – really cried – for the first time.

By November I could come at MasterDoc’s command quite well. I got philosophical about how change is an integral part of life. I came and squirted from being spanked at a swing club and later that night got fucked up the ass in public for the second time. One evening I became so turned on that I couldn’t turn off – and that ended up being the night that MasterDoc peed on me for the first time. I was so turned on and so deep into submission that I came as he peed on my clit. I went to the NYC Sex Blogger Calendar party and met a bunch of fellow bloggers. I also participated in Pleasurists for the first time. I come some more from pain and come again without being touched at all.

I started off December feeling cross with MasterDoc, but things were soon resolved and I wrote a post about how wonderful he is. He had a Domme-in-training come by for lessons and she fucked me with a strap on. The next night, a Dom came over with his three submissives and we had a fun bdsm orgy of sorts. I fisted a woman for the first time. MasterDoc figured out that he could use my new anal beads as a whip. Yikes. I fell ill with a stomach virus and actually turned down sex one day. But we used that time to go over my bdsm checklist and see what limits could be pushed in the future that perhaps we’ve been neglecting. We finished off the year going to a gangbang party last weekend.

All-in-all it’s been a hot year and I’ve come a long way with coming on command. I enjoyed reviewing my year via my blog but jeez, I really was at it for several hours. Thank you all for reading and I hope to have more adventures in 2009.

2008 in Review originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on January 1, 2009.

More details at Best Sex Bloggers originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on December 31, 2008.

Next, I rode his cock, rocking back and forth on top of him, the head of his cock hitting just the right spot inside, over and over. I moaned and rode the edge, rocking my hips. Again I held back from coming, desperately wanting him to give me permission. Again, he gave permission (how lucky I felt!) and I had more orgasms, giving me the energy to frenetically ride him. I found energy and stamina I never knew I had. I squirted on him a little bit and rode him until I was exhausted and had to fall forward, cuddling him. Again, I thanked him for letting me come another time, again really hard.

He fucked me from behind and I couldn’t hold back asking for permission to come this time. I begged, wondering if I’d be so lucky as to be granted permission three times in one day. He must have been feeling really generous as he did, and as I came his cock was pushed out. He held onto my hips and I continued coming, spasming, gasping, writhing in orgasm while he simply held onto me. It really is amazing how he’s gotten me to the point where I will continue coming even without direct genital stimulus. It helps to hear his voice when I come, telling me to come, telling me I’m a good girl. I collapsed on the bed. As we cuddled he asked me, “Are you a lucky girl.”

“Yes, Sir, I’m a lucky girl.”

“Are you a very lucky girl?” I didn’t catch the “very” the first time he said it so when I didn’t respond exactly in kind he repeated it.

“Yes, Sir, I’m a very lucky girl.” This became the theme for the rest of the day, with him asking if I’m a lucky girl, and me responding that I am, indeed, a very lucky girl. I was exhausted. (I thought I was going to sleep really well last night, but alas I had a hard time falling asleep as usual. *sigh*)

A little bit later we were in the bedroom again. He hadn’t come so he had me suck his cock, stroke it and eventually play with his ass as he stroked himself while watching porn. I played with his ass, kneading, stroking the cheeks, getting my fingers right up inside near the asshole. He asked me after a bit if I was tired, and I had to admit that I was (getting between the gluteal muscles can be really tiring on fingers and forearm muscles, sadly). I had played with his ass a bit earlier so they were already a bit tired out. (Anyone have suggestions on exercises to strengthen those muscles?) Since I was tired, and he’s very good to me, he had me lay behind him, stroking his back. My arms were still tired but I didn’t complain as I wanted to help him reach orgasm. After he came, he had me play with his ass just a little bit more and I stroked and kneaded again. He came all over the sheets and I was told to change the sheets and pillow cases before I left.

Tonight I masturbated, thinking about how I begged him with my eyes for permission to come. I rode the edge, humping my Pleasure Tops (still not enough to get me off by itself) and using my bullet vibe. I watched some bdsm porn where a woman who was tied up got flogged and fucked with a butt plug up her ass. My cunt got swollen and engorged as I rubbed the bullet against my clit. I moaned as I neared the edge and finally I let myself come by imagining MasterDoc saying to me, “Come.”

I begged him for permission with my eyes originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on November 5, 2008.

Sunday Evening Fuck originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on October 6, 2008.