Last Wednesday I had a night alone with MasterDoc and he put the easier nipple clamps on (i.e., not clover clamps). I got into the pain. It wasn’t as unbearable as the clover clamps. He pinched and twisted them, too and placed the clamps’ chain between my teeth. The problem with that was I had to hold my head up off the pillow to reach the chain and a sore neck was not the intention.

I should mention that MasterDoc is a considerate Dom. If I speak up about something I’d like more of than we’ve been doing, he will take my wishes under consideration – and often the item at hand will come up in our sex soon after. The nipple play was a recent request – I’m not sure why that became something he didn’t really do for a while. Such things happen. I’ve also mentioned that I love his talking dirty to me. He did that on Wednesday and said he liked having my body to play with. I just swooned into his arms. He very nearly could have made me come there.

My neck was bothering me, and my body sore and tired from exercise and a long day, so we shifted to me using the Siri vibe on myself since needed to lay flat for a while. MasterDoc touched me to add that fabulous element to my masturbation, but in some respects he was too gentle. I missed the raw dirty talk he had been giving me just a short time before. That night, I had a hard time with getting and staying aroused. I blame the fatigue. I did come. Just not the way I usually do.

He fucked from on top with the blindfold on and while I suppose I often find that hot, I found that not being able to see him reduced my arousal. Phooey. As I’ve said, these things happen.

He fucked me doggy style next. Again I had problems getting and staying aroused. But he managed to push me to orgasm before we were through. Sometimes the push was verbal – yay more dirty talk! Finally, I helped him come via massaging his thighs and ass, then licked his asshole like he likes and finally finished things off with a prostate massage.

It’s kinda funny now to think that analingus was a hard limit when I filled in a bdsm checklist when I first met MasterDoc.

Saturday night we had fabulous sex that lifted me from the mild depression I was in. I didn’t take notes. My sieve-like brain can’t remember details. Yeah I suck. But the sex was awesome and you will just have to trust me. Unfortunately, when we went back to hanging out after the sex my mildly depressed and rather withdrawn mood returned. Ordinarily there would have been another round, but I felt so tired from the depression that I wasn’t up to it.

On Sunday, we had over another Dom who contacted MasterDoc on fetlife after reading my profile where I say that if a Dom wants to play with me, they should contact my Dom as it’s his decision. This was perfect timing since we’ve come to realize that I need someone to play with so I get enough sex – and that totally vanilla sex probably wouldn’t work for me for an ongoing fuck buddy situation. I have a high sex drive, and while MasterDoc certainly does too, he likes variety and dates or fucks various women so his high libido is shared with many.

Well this other Dom is a very attractive guy, in his 40s, and really into rough sex and being down and dirty.  I don’t usually go for athletic builds (it’s not on my list of must have criteria in a man, though it’s certainly not a deal breaker or anything) but I have to say I do appreciate the lean, muscled body this Dom has developed. He has experience wrestling and uses it to good effect in a bdsm setting. But perhaps I’m jumping ahead…..

MasterDoc had me sitting on floor at his feet when “another Dom” came in. (I need a pseudonym for him.) DeeDee answered the door in her sexy maid’s outfit – I find the maid outfit embarrassing on me, but DeeDee loves the theatricality of it.

We talked for a bit – mostly he and MasterDoc – and then MasterDoc indicated we should adjourn to the bedroom. I don’t get MFM threesomes often, and damn I enjoy them. MasterDoc had me start off by sucking his cock. During this he invited the guy over to grab my ass. (I was in a bra and sexy black slip.)  The other guy slapped my ass – hard! He seems to have a heavier hand than most. Not sure I can handle such hard hits, which I spoke up about of course, as did MasterDoc and the guy laid off the hard spanks.

This guy goes for the gusto when having sex and after just a brief bit of dirty talk in my ear, he went for my pussy and decided to see if I truly do squirt. His fingers made me come in no time. Of course I held off until MasterDoc told me to come. I squirted a whole lot. The throe was soaked.

Next I sucked the new guy’s cock. There was lots of gagging, with saliva flowing. He spit on my face – the first time I’d ever experienced it. I wasn’t sure if I’d like it but I did find it kinda hot. MasterDoc was uncomfortable that something as edgy as spitting would be brought in without negotiation (I concur). That got addressed a bit later.

MasterDoc fucked me while I sucked the guy’s cock. This was Hot! (With a capital “h”) Then they switched and the other guy fucked me while I sucked MasterDoc’s cock. (Again, hot with a capital “h.”) Next the guy fucked me up the ass (I seem to be making this “anal upon first meeting” thing a habit.) He made me come a whole lot while fucking my ass.

I can’t even begin to estimate how many times I came that evening.

We took a break, but as dinner had not yet arrived, after a conversation on limits we went back for more. MasterDoc suggested we try double penetration – I’ve never experienced it, just frustrating attempts. MasterDoc lay on the bed, I got on top of his cock, then the other guy went to work his cock into my ass. It was still hard to get proper angle – my butt’s a bit sore from where it was poked before he got it in. But the struggling was brief, and holy shit it worked! It felt… like I was being fucked in two holes at once. I know that sounds self-explanatory but it’s the only way I can think to describe it. While I felt quite filled it wasn’t uncomfortable like I had worried it would be. Both orifices expanded to make each penetration comfortable in and of itself. As they both fucked me I just kept on coming over and over. Good, primal, grunting and screaming orgasms.

After a break for dinner, the guy was up for one more fuck. We went into the bedroom and I sucked his cock, gagging on it. He had me lay on the bed and he fucked me from on top. He pinned me down – there’s that wrestler skill! – and fucked me like there’s no tomorrow. Dude is in shape. I couldn’t believe how long he fucked me at a hard, relentless pace. Most guys can’t do that. Of course, I loved it. He put his hand on face from time to time, holding my head to the side while he continued to fuck me. This was hot and would inevitably make me come harder. I began to wonder which of us would ask to stop first. He did, but I was pretty fucked-out by that time myself.

Since this went well, I’m free to schedule casual fucks with this guy when I have free time. Neither of us has a lot of free time, and who knows how often it will coincide, but it’s nice to think there’s another cock out there I can call on when I need something extra – a cock that comes with rough sex.

DP originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on May 17, 2011.

Days ago, we lay in bed. He was tired but we both wanted to get off. He grabbed my hair, gave a tug, said some dirty words and within a minute said, “It doesn’t take long to turn you on!” Indeed, I’ve pointed out to him many times that when he’s old we can still have hot sex just via touching and dirty words. Not thinking of sex as just “penis in vagina” opens up myriad possibilities.

Since he was tired, he was happy to make me do the work. He got on hands and knees and told me to lick his ass. He knows I’m not fond of ass-licking, but I’ve gotten much more relaxed about it over the past few years. He always bathes first, so it’s not really a negative experience. As my face was buried in his ass, all I could see over the horizon of his ass was the “home for wayward women” picture hanging on the wall over the bed. This print was selected by DeeDee as an appropriate decoration for the “play room” as we call it since we joke that his apartment is “MasterDoc’s Home for Wayward Women.” It’s in a pre-Raphelite style and contains three women lounging langourously on a sofa. All three are draped in classical robes and two are fast asleep. The one on the right is awake and looking at us through her eyelashes as her head is tilted back.

I did my best to really get my tongue in there. He wants it actually up his ass but I find that my tongue can only stretch so far. Perhaps if I did more cunnilingus I’d have a stronger, more versatile tongue, but I don’t do that very often either. He stroked his cock as I went down on his ass.

On some level it feels good to be at a point where I can handle that request from him with a minimum of trepidation. I’m not sure I’ll ever get to that place when it comes to pee in my mouth.

Next he lay on his back and had me play with his ass, including the Fun Factory Duke (review forthcoming), a toy intended for prostate stimulation. I wondered about getting stimulated before sex myself. I try more and more to trust him and go with the flow. He promises that he will make sure I’m at least lubed up before fucking. I also need to try to be less selfish sexually, but if we’re going to do it I sure want to enjoy it to the fullest.

He slapped some lube on me, fingered my cunt a bit then told me to grab a condom and get on top. I rode him while the Duke plug stayed in his ass, the vibrator buzzing inside. He seemed to really enjoy it. Even though I wasn’t particularly warmed up when we started, I got into it quickly. It was one hot fuck knowing his ass was filled at the time.

I love when a heterosexual man can have absolutely no hang ups about enjoying anal stimulation.

I think after the fuck (and my orgasms) he had me continue to manipulate the plug in his ass as he stroked his cock. I helped him come.

The next night, I was surprised to get sexy time with him as I had understood it to be an evening with DeeDee for him. She declined and I found myself with MasterDoc, playing with my cunt while watching porn. (PublicDisgrace.com for the win!) I reached over to the bedside table and grabbed by Lelo Siri. I could feel him bump against my back as he stroked himself behind me while also enjoying the porn. After a short while, he checked my pussy for wetness (it was). He then had me get on hands and knees and fucked me from behind. His fabulous cock made me come, squirting all over the Liberator Throe.

I was fucked silly and worn out, but soon he had me kneel near the edge of the bed so he could stand up and fuck me from behind. I was allowed to come when he put his cock in. He rubbed his cock teasingly near my cunt so indeed I was ready to explode when he put it in.

Now, after this round I was REALLY exhausted, but he wanted to fuck me a third time. He got on top and fucked until I thought I couldn’t possibly come any more. (But you see, he would have been quite capable of keeping me coming until I genuinely collapsed from exhaustion.)

I got some unexpected sexytime with him on Friday, but I neglected to take notes after so the details are beyond fuzzy. I was also in an emotionally fragile premenstrual state, so perhaps the narrative wouldn’t have been as hot anyway. But making that connection right before we won’t see each other for a few days was vital.

Yes, Virginia, There is a New Kinky Librarian Blog Post originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on May 1, 2011.

On Friday, my day off, MasterDoc had a couple come over early in the evening. Another Dom we had played with recommended MasterDoc as someone with a sybian to another Dom/sub couple. The woman was about my age. Blonde, huge tits, attractive. The guy was older than MasterDoc by a year but looks about 10 years younger than his age. We greeted them, and sat down in the living room to chat. The woman seemed nervous. We did our best to try to put her at ease. Eventually her Dom suggested I start undressing her so I unzipped her sweater. She looked at me and asked, “Do you like girls?” I immediately and enthusiastically said, “Yes!”

This answer must have been the right one, because it soon became apparent that she had the hots for me. I’m usually so oblivious to a woman wanting me, but I picked up on this quite easily.

The first intention was to warm her up (I was to help) and then get her on the sybian. She was nervous though, and suggested I try it first. Considering I’m a veteran sybian rider I had no trouble going first to show her how amazing it is. She and MasterDoc started warming me up while her Dom, and a nice single guy MasterDoc met at the swing club watched. (He’s one of those rare finds – a single guy who knows when it’s appropriate to jump in, and when it’s appropriate to watch respectfully.)

She commented appreciatively on my tits while she played with them. MasterDoc teased me mercilessly with the magic wand until I was ready to explode. “She’s ready now,” he declared, just as I was so worked up I would have humped the sybian even if it was off!

MasterDoc gave me an intense (when is it ever not intense?) sybian ride, making me come and come like a madwoman. The crowd (which also included DeeDee, I forgot to mention that) enjoyed the show. I lay on the floor recovering for a few minutes. When I got up to wash off the attachment, I snuck off into the kitchen for an aftercare snack. MasterDoc came to check on me, and I assured him that I was fine and that I’d be in to help warm up our lady guest as soon as I could.

When I walked back into the room, MasterDoc and the lady’s Dom were working on warming her up. She was naked and I slipped my hands in to her pelvic area to massage her inner thighs, butt, groin area. Then I stroked her pussy a little and since it was wet, I slid a finger in. She enjoyed my ministrations and I added another finger, stroking her g-spot. When we declared it time for her ride, she seemed to prefer staying there with me playing with her cunt.

We got her on the sybian, MasterDoc running the controls but her Dom sitting in front of her for her to lean on. I watched from the bed beside DeeDee for a bit, but it seemed to me that our guest was having a hard time letting go. Since she was clearly into me, I figured I should get up and try to help push things along. I reached around her and pressed her clit into the machine. I grabbed her ass, played with her. The ride went on for quite a while but still she didn’t come. I could be wrong, but when she complained the intensity was too much, I got the sense it wasn’t painful so much as likely to push her over the edge – something she wasn’t ready for. She did come for a bit, but overall the ride was less orgasmic than most. She rested on the mat on the floor and beckoned me over when I indicated I wanted to lay down to rest too.

MasterDoc tried fingering her to orgasm, but oddly she wasn’t quite into it. He suggested I take over, and I had no problem making her come. It feels pretty awesome to know a woman has the hots for you and you can make her come with just your hands. I did declare after, however, that I learned my technique from the expert (MasterDoc). Her man made her come more and squirt that time. I was hot to watch.

It was getting a little late, and I had work the next morning. My last bit of encouragement went to DeeDee getting a turn next. (If you were watching all this, wouldn’t you want a sybian ride next?!?!) I don’t think she ended up on the sybian, but the nice single guy guest fucked her quite well from what I’m told. I’d be keen to play with him too, I just wasn’t feeling it that night. I tucked myself into bed and read for a bit.

Hopefully this couple (and that single guy) will come back for more play. I enjoyed myself and can see many more fun times ahead if they come back.

Busy Beaver, Part One originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on April 3, 2011.

Last night we tried a good deal of deep throating. I actually managed to relax my throat for much longer periods than I have before. As I’m blowing him, I keep going til he’s deep in my throat. I love the noises he makes when I do that. It’s actually good that I gag a little because then the saliva starts flowing and I can give a good, wet, sloppy blow job. I only had a little trouble when we tried it with my head leaning over the bed. Still, I was willing to keep trying! (Yeah, you can call me Ms. Choksondik a la South Park.)

He also continued pushing my limits of orgasm control. Damn if I didn’t worry I was going to give in and come without permission! As he fucks me and I balance just below the peak of my arousal, I get more turned on thinking that I’m his cunt and he can fuck me for as long as he wants while I desperately moan and whimper, desperate for orgasm. I’m glad he didn’t give in to my whimpers (he’s a very generous Dom where orgasms are concerned) but pushed me. I was determined not to let him down and come un-ordered. (Granted, he has told me that since he’s pushing me, it’s not the end of the world if I slip and come – ONLY if it’s a genuine slip though. Goodness knows he can spot me lying a mile away.) When he did let me come, the throe ended up covered in squirty puddles. I don’t really mind laying on the wet throe. I guess it’s the hotness of knowing that dampness is my come. If it gave off an odor I may not be so keen on my come, but since it’s virtually odorless and evaporates easily I’m perfectly happy to get a little wet.

The night before, I had one of those, “I’m SUCH a pervert” moments while we watched more delightful porn from TheUpperFloor.com. I got turned on by Cherry Torn’s look of pain and later, the tears that ran down her face, while she tended to one guy’s cock and the other whipped her back with a dragon’s tail. I wanted to be that girl, although I’m not sure I can handle that pain. Also as I watched kink.com head honcho Peter Ackworth in a scene I realized that I have the hots for him. It’s an old turn-on for me – pasty English guys. Seriously, I love English, Scottish and Irish men. I’ve had all but Scottish at this point. (Um, any Scots in NYC out there?) I suppose I should throw in Welsh just to cover ALL of the UK and Ireland.

Another, newer turn on was the depersonalization of one of the slaves in the video wearing a hood. I’ve long had anxiety about hoods as I can freak out from difficulty breathing – I’ve had some severe asthma attacks in my time. But the holes in the hood looked adequate for breathing, and it was kinda hot to deprive her a bit of her senses while turning her into an object. (Yes, some feminists like women as sex objects! I think it should be done consensually, unlike most objectification of women in our culture. Therein lies the problem.)

I felt like MasterDoc had complete control over me. If he wants to make me come, he can. If he wants to keep me coming, he can. If he wants me to cool down he can do it as well. It was really fucking hot. The slightest touch and I’m jelly.

We’ve fucked in many positions the past couple of days. Doggy, missionary, me on top. The basic three. The serviceable three. The ones that work so we all keep coming back to them.

I’ve been working extra hard to be a good submissive this week. I’ve done lots of household chores without being asked. When he’s asked for me to do something I react right away and get it done – no moaning. It’s not been perfect but I’ve been doing well. Proof of that is when I licked his ass without complaint or making a face AND I tried hard to do it right. I tried pushing my tongue into his hole. I tried sucking a bit. Anything he’s taught me he likes, I tried. I managed to push my sense of gross-out to the side and I could appreciate the act as service and giving him pleasure.

I helped him come that night with caresses and playing with his ass, kneading the flesh with my hands. I felt like talking about hot things I’d like him to do to me, or I was fantasizing about at the time. But my usual hesitance kept me thinking, “What if?” What if I talk too much. What if he’s not into what I’m describing. Would it be hot and forward or inappropriate for a sub? Stupid hesitance won out as usual. Blogging about this ensures that MasterDoc will talk to me about this, particularly if he does want me spewing a dirty stream of fantasy from my mouth.

Fantasy is My Reality originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on November 30, 2010.

Early in the evening he was talking about how he canceled an “orgasm on command” demonstration he was planning at a party we’re going to Friday. I spoke up, saying that I really think it wouldn’t be a problem him making me come with just a touch and a word – even in front of an audience. He turned towards me on the sofa and said, “Oh really?” His hand caressed my face and he twined his fingers in my hair. “So you think you could come just from my command?” I was twitching a little and breathing heavy by this time and I answered, “Yes, Sir.”

“Then you can come.” The full-body cascade came over me and my left hand shot out and impotently grabbed at his nearest thigh. I was still dressed in my work clothes, and we hadn’t any foreplay whatsoever. Even as he gave me the command a small part of me doubted I could come, but I am so conditioned now that not coming wasn’t an option. Thankfully I didn’t squirt in my work pants (although many of you pervs out there would have loved reading about that!).

A phone call came in for him immediately after, and I caught my breath, stunned, while he spoke on the phone.

Later, after we had both had dinner, bathed and gotten ready for sex, I put on a video from theupperfloor.com. (Thanks again to the person who shared their password with me! Hawt stuff!) He had me plug in the HDMI cable so we could see the porn on the big screen tv. Just watching the goings on of training the house slaves got me so hot. We both loved a scene where Cherry Torn had a knife handle (dinner knife) slid up her ass, and then the magic wand was vibrated against the part sticking out. I thought to myself that it would be super hot for me to disappear to the kitchen and return with a table knife, but something in me prevented me from just doing that. I really need to be more proactive.

He had told me minutes before to get an ass toy that he could use to warm up my ass. Earlier I had pointed out it was a long time since we had anal sex, and he took that under consideration. I returned with an ass toy – silicone, sorta rippled, with a handle to press against the perineum.

With lube and toy in hand he had me get on hands and knees. I leaned against the sofa arm. He worked the toy into my ass and I was moaning before much really started. The idea of him violating my ass was just too, too hot. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on at various times, but fuck, it felt good. He teased me and my whole body tingled with excitement. Satisfied that he had heated me up, we adjourned to the bedroom with the porn.

I’ve been feeling extremely horny and slutty in recent days. I’m sure many of you are saying in disbelief, “Only in recent days?!” Since the feeling of shift I wrote about last week, I’ve felt like some blocks about doing things MasterDoc wants me to do are starting to disappear. (Not all of them sadly, but a few key ones.) On some levels, I live for pleasing him. I’m starting to fantasize about him doing things I formerly thought of as hard limits.

In the bedroom, he told me to get a toy that’s larger than the first one for preparing my ass for fucking. I used a slender, red-sparkle silicone dildo to work my ass and soon I was fucking myself with it like a bitch in heat. He really enjoyed watching this and let me come after a while.

He was ready to fuck my ass himself, and we tried to figure out the best position. Unfortunately this hesitation led to difficulties getting it in (a cock needs to be super hard for anal) so we took a break. (Note to gentlemen of a certain age: As this entry will demonstrate, you can still satisfy and drive a woman wild even if your cock isn’t cooperating. Seriously, as much as I love cock it is not the only thing that will get me off/make me happy.)

He made me come a ton of times via command and molesting my body. He decided that it would help him get hard for me to lick his ass. Normally I’d have been hesitant to get there, but that block I mentioned that seems to have moved? I didn’t really have a problem getting my tongue into his asshole as best I could. I really tried very hard to make him feel good. I’m enjoying more and more feeling like he’s in control and that makes it easier to do things I don’t like to do. By verbal command, he made me come TWICE while I licked his ass. As I started to come the first time I thought to myself, “Damn you!” because of the embarrassment of orgasming while my tongue was on his asshole.

At this point, is there anything this man can’t do to make me come?

During one of our interludes (while I tried to recover from so many orgasms), he declared that everything points to enforced exercise. Fuuuuuck! He’s decided that if I do squats I’m allowed to come when I can. He emphasized that the point wasn’t doing squats until I’m sore and exhausted, just a few until I can manage to come knowing he’s given me permission to come. I cringe at the very idea of coming from exercise. But if anyone can make me do it, he can. We shall see.

We fooled around for two hours or so, and a couple of times he kept making me come long past the point where I thought I could. In my exhaustion, I nearly begged him to stop. Nearly. I’m digging this forced orgasms thing though.

His cock cooperated towards the end of the evening, and he fucked me up the ass. I didn’t hear him give me permission to come so I rode the edge the entire time. It felt pretty damn amazing. (Note to Doms: Please give commands to come loudly and clearly, because if the sub has to ask, “What did you say, Sir?” it decreases the arousal just enough to limit the ensuing orgasm.)

More porn was watched. I fantasized about him pissing in my mouth as he went off to use the bathroom. I started masturbating before he came back. Since it seemed pretty clear we were “done” as far as getting me off, I considered my clit tickling to be masturbation and came at will. He joined me again on the bed, and a few moments later told me to come after I had already started, and I just kept coming and coming. I had squirted even before he gave me the command to come. It’s amazing how fast I can rub my clit when I’m aroused.

He wanted a prostate massage, so I worked his ass over for a while. I was really getting into it. We heard DeeDee come in during this, and MasterDoc decided to delay his orgasm. We said hello to DeeDee, heard about her date, and I voiced a need for cuddles and aftercare.

We cuddled. And just being close to him turns me on so very much. It gives me a helpless feeling, the way I get wildly aroused around him. Soon I was licking his “spot” and realizing that indeed, “spot worship” has become a fetish for me. Yes, I will admit, the middle of his hairy chest turns me on. I talked about how I would love for him to come in my mouth and then I’d play with rubbing his come all over my chest. The fantasy was so strong! It wasn’t in the cards though.

He still wanted to come so he had me help by giving him an ass massage as he jerked off. I tried my best to tune in and notice his reactions. To press firmly against his asshole and perineum in a way that would feel good. My fingers made him twitch for a while after he had shot his load. Even though I was tired by this point, my submissive nature helped me focus and enjoy making him come. Even though there were so many delicious orgasms last night, I wanted to be his endlessly horny slut. I’d certainly stop playing when he asked me to, but I aimed to be eager and ready at all times. Accomplishing this wasn’t too hard.

Is it any wonder I hesitate to try to fuck another guy? Without MasterDoc taking control how can another guy fucking me be anywhere near as hot as when I fuck MasterDoc? But if he told me to fuck a roomful of strangers it would be the hottest thing ever, and I would do it under his watchful eye. I am his slut. There is no denying that.

Endlessly Horny Slut originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on November 17, 2010.

Recently I’ve felt like there’s a shift – the shift hasn’t happened just yet but it feels like a new phase of our relationship is ready to begin. I’ve been contemplating for at least a week now telling him that if he wants me to lick his ass, then I would respect him even more if he made me do it despite my dislike of the activity. I think I’m at the point now where him making me do a few things I dislike (but know full well won’t harm me) is the way to go. Not so much to exercise power, but I think he, as the Dom, should feel free to engage in whatever experiences he would like to – and not give as much concern over what I like to do.* Of course, I’ve hesitated to say anything because I’m worried this is a case of “be careful of what you wish for!” But I feel like I need to take another step into being his submissive on perhaps a deeper level than before. We’re at a point where if he makes me lick his ass I’m not going to consider leaving him. If he pisses in my mouth I’m not going to leave him. I don’t like these activities and hope they don’t become frequent, but I feel like if he’s the Dom then he should use me as he likes.

We’ve watched a lot of porn on theupperfloor.com lately and it’s been giving him all sorts of ideas. The forced exercise I found too painful to watch. I hate exercise but can handle it better if I’m doing it by myself and of my own volition. But the scene where the slave was hooded (and therefore couldn’t see) and forced to scrub the floor while the dominant whipped or fingered her – that was damn hot. Just scrubbing a floor isn’t hot to me. But being in some sort of bondage/blindfolding/gagging and being watched over by the man who delivers such delicious torment to me, that would be hot.

The Upper Floor has also made me crave kinky parties where I could serve and be toyed with by the guests freely. Not only toyed with but perhaps also gang-banged.

MasterDoc and I talked briefly about the idea of things like positions the sub needs to learn and use in certain situations. He was never into that, but I’ve been curious about it and now feels like a time to maybe delve into some of that, to maybe have a little more protocol than we currently have? (We’ve never been big on protocol other than calling him Sir and being respectful and obedient.) I’m also wishing for more bondage in my life.

All this is dependent on what MasterDoc wants and thinks is right. I’m merely expressing my willingness and desire to go a little further into submission and service to him. I feel like I need to be pushed a little.

* This meaning that of course I hope my needs will still be met, but I think he should feel more latitude in making me satisfy his needs even if I find an act distasteful.

The Next Steps? originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on November 11, 2010.

In the bedroom, I cuddled with him and stroked his body. He sounded like he was going to come various times and I was concerned by my usual being left out/not getting to come fears. But this time I told myself, “He always takes care of me, I should just trust that he will.” And so I kept writhing against him, touching his body – ass, back, arms, neck, groin. I breathed heavy into his ear as I pressed my body to his.

He did come from my touches and him stroking his cock. He shot pretty far on the bed. He had me clean up and then we had dessert.  I was yearning for sexual attention, but I behaved myself.

I asked if I could lay down – mainly to rest and relax but I was also hoping he’d start playing with my body. He did. He played with my pussy til I was breathing heavy and close to coming. They were delicate touches but his touch makes me tingle. He teased me a bit and I must have had such a set of blue balls – metaphorically speaking. He told me to come and come I did. He would let me rest slightly then amp up the sensation to make me come again. I would think to myself, “I’m done,” but then he would make me come again. I grabbed hold of his arm as I came, thrashing about.

Post orgasm I lay there fantasizing about him grabbing the Randy (which I won recently on twitter from Vixen Creations, mine’s “vanilla” flesh-colored rather than the black one on Babeland’s site) and telling me it’s time we see if we can fit it in my cunt. Rowr. I kept tormenting myself with more sexy thoughts.

He turned to me in middle of cuddling and asked if I wanted him to pee on me – not willing to do it but wanted . I couldn’t reply. Part of me wanted it and the other part of me was horrified that I wanted it. He seemed to back off, but I kept thinking that it would be hot for him to make me do something I hate – and it’s not that the act is hot for me. Being pissed on in and of itself isn’t erotic for me, but him grabbing me by the hair taking me down the hall to the bathroom, barking an order for me to kneel in the tub…. and then he pisses on me, in my ass, in my mouth – the last one being terribly forced. I don’t want him to piss in my mouth, but I do want to feel like he owns me and will do it if it pleases him. Does that make sense? Ultimately though, the fooling around was over for the evening.

Tuesday Night Alone with MasterDoc originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on August 28, 2010.

We watched some porn – and this time I actually watched instead of being distracted by him fucking me. I stroked his hair as we lay by each others side. As the porn turned me on I started touching myself. I played with my breasts and nipples, something I rarely do during masturbation. I shyly reached a hand down to my pussy and started playing there. Intermittently, I’d touch him, stroking his back.

Right before having sex with me, MasterDoc looked me in the eye and told me that I was to hold off coming indefinitely. I was not allowed to beg for orgasm like I usually do. Just him giving me this directive, with that firm look in his eyes, made me wet. I struggled to keep my arousal under control as he fucked me. But of course I just kept thinking about how hot it was that he could use my body for his pleasure. It seems as if telling me not to come makes me just want to come more!

We cuddled up after the fucking, and his phone rang. This distracted me so when he told me to come a moment later, I wasn’t anywhere near ready to come. He talked to me about keeping with where we are mentally. After all, the phone can be ignored. I’ll try to do better next time.

My memories of that evening are in bits and pieces, so forgive me if this isn’t as coherent as most posts.

As we cuddled I did some spot worship (see 5th paragraph in that post), and he called me the “High Priestess of Spot Worship.” Hee hee. I know how to play with his special spot really well by now. I stroke his chest languidly, focusing on “the spot” but also touching the rest of his torso – from tummy to collar bone. I’ve joked that I want a sex toy company to make a toy version of his spot so if I ever lose him I can stroke it for comfort.

He had me suck his cock for a while, and I struggled a bit with the reservoir tip of the condom tickling the back of my throat. That’s the only thing I truly hate about blow jobs with condoms.

At one point, I was laying down in such a way that I was looking up at him – and I mentioned that I loved the perspective. Having him above me like that felt so representative of the power dynamic between us. I thought about the idea of him being a god for the length of our scenes. The majority of the time, we’re two humans with strengths and weaknesses. But when we play we can be something else for a while. He can be a god to me, and I can feel safe in his arms. He can be in control, which he likes and I can give up control, which I like. (Of course, ever the irreverent Dom, MasterDoc made some funny noises and hand motions when I said I liked the perspective. Kinda changed the feeling!) Many times that night I felt like declaring I’m his, over and over.

He fucked me from behind a couple of times with that order not to come or ask to come still applying. His cock wasn’t cooperating as much as he would have liked, so the fucking didn’t last long. He had intended to fuck me until he came.

I was feeling really ready for limit pushing, and he had me give his asshole a big kiss. I still don’t like doing it, but it’s hot in the way that I’m being told what to do. Thankfully it is always freshly cleaned when he has me do it. I still pause a second and give him a “do I have to?” look before doing what he tells me to do.

We took a break, and he checked on DeeDee. (She struggles with depression like I do, and was having a tough day.) MasterDoc planned to fuck me later that night as I got so drowsy I was ready to fall asleep, but that got put off. (Something for the wishing box.)

Untitled originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on July 29, 2010.

I saw MasterDoc a tiny bit Friday morning. He got in late from work and slept next to me. I got a quick cuddle before he went back to sleep and I got ready for work.

I was so happy to get some time alone with him Friday night, but as we got ready to “do the freaky-freaky” as MasterDoc might say, he fell into a very sadistic, teasing mood. I was needing cuddles and reconnecting, and he was talking about making me lick chocolate sauce from his asshole. (Ew.) I found it harder to get turned on because I just wasn’t in a state where I could handle teasing about stuff I don’t like. (And he had left me on a teasing note, tormenting me about pissing in my mouth.)

He took a moment to change his mindset, and things proceeded much better from there. At this point in our relationship, I just have to press my naked body against his and I get turned on. My hands wander his chest and I get more and more excited. He gets excited too from touching me and having me close.

It dawned on MasterDoc that that’s why we don’t do as much kinky stuff lately – he gets so turned on that all he can think about in the moment is fucking me. I am a victim of my own success. He often intends to do kinky stuff, but never quite gets there. I have to say, the sex is so phenomenal that I can’t truly complain, but I would love some more kink back in my life.

He had me suck his cock and I got into it: licking, slurping, making it hard. He twined his fingers in my hair and I got even more excited hoping he was going to choke me on his cock. He did, finally, holding my head down until I actually started to gag on his cock. Then I lay on his chest to catch my breath. While I needed time to recover, I would have loved to go again. It’s like there’s some sort of high that’s produced when he does that. I hope he does more in the future. I blew him until he had me stop, saying that one of these days I’ll manage to make him come orally. This doesn’t happen often for him (and hasn’t happened ever with me) so I look forward to it!

I deep throated him as much as possible. I love making him feel good! It turns me on to know that I’ve gotten really good at giving him head. I used to be a lover who was really focused on her own pleasure, but now I’ve learned to get immense pleasure out of my partner’s pleasure too.

MasterDoc played with my pussy for a bit, but I had a hard time getting aroused as my clit was so sensitive that touching it hurt. Adding lube helped a lot and as he was hard and ready, he had me get on top of his cock for a ride. Oh it was so nice to slip him inside me. I’m spoiled with regular sex so going about a week and a half without it was hard! Fucking him excited me so much that I came wildly when he gave permission. My whole body tensed up, I fell forward onto him, and I kept involuntarily twitching as he touched me. He wrung every last orgasm out of my body, and I was exhausted after. So often these days I wonder if I can keep coming (or if my body is too tired to) and just as I wonder that he makes me come again.

It’s an exquisite form of control. He can make me twitch and come with just the touch of his hand. When he fucks me, I come until he decides to stop me. I can’t control coming again and again if he decides to make me come.

We fucked a second time. I knelt at the end of the bed and leaned over my Liberator Axis (that thing kicks ass for support during doggy style sex). He teased me a bit, not putting his cock in right away. I was so, so desperate for it. I sighed as he slid his cock in. He fucked me for a long time, I moaned a lot as I could have come shortly after he started. I’m sure he can hear through my moans that plaintive call where I wordlessly try to beg for orgasm.

When I came, my pussy pushed his cock out, but he continued with his hands. I squirted a whole bunch and then kept right on coming. Again, he forced orgasms out of me until I didn’t think I could stand it any more. As he finished with me and told me to fall forward, I just about managed to get the axis out from under me before I collapsed.

Before we started, we put the underbed restraints on the bed. He had me lay in the middle of the bed, on my stomach, and he strapped me down. At first, this made me so hot as I love bondage. But he left me there, and as time went on my shoulders began to ache. I debated calling out for him but the sub in me wanted to see if I could concentrate on relaxing and thereby stay bound without so much shoulder pain. I was left there quite a while as he got distracted by the Yankee game. When he came in I told him about the discomfort and he undid me, pointing out that he wouldn’t get mad at me for having to ask him to un-cuff me if I was in pain.

We started getting amorous again, but DeeDee called to say she and her friend were on the way home. We had to forego a third round of sex. It was such a shame as we both would have loved more, but considering the many, many orgasms I had, I can’t complain.

A Victim of My Own Success originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on July 25, 2010.

There are ten, roughly 45-minute-long episodes that were filmed for British tv (although their “man on the street” interviews take place in London and New York). It took me ages to sit down and watch them all, but I had some time this weekend to plow through the last 5 episodes. I started the series wondering if it really covered “how to do everything” and you know, it pretty much does. I have only a couple of complaints – first, it’s very heterocentric. While some of the average people they interview are gay or bi, the rest of the show doesn’t acknowledge same sex relationships and experiences. However, lots of the information is general enough that queer couples can learn many things from the series as well if they can overlook all the male/female couplings.

The second thing that bothered me is that in the episode on sex toys they mention phthalates, and that they’re bad for you, but not in what types of materials they’re found. Their “roving reporters” Dougie and Georgie (a M/F couple)  go on to review a variety of toys including jelly ones with no mention of their phthalate content.

But those two caveats aside, I think this is a fabulous series. It’s fairly explicit (in the spirit of being educational rather than titillating) and very educational. It’s clearly intended for adults only, but I think this sort of sex-positive series should be featured in high school sex ed classes. Seriously, if more teens saw this then more people would go on to have healthy, safe, and pleasurable sex lives. The tone is always positive, they put in valuable safety warnings – from safer sex to safe BDSM play – and cover a huge territory. They cover furries! They cover BDSM! They cover auto-fellatio! They feature an interracial couple as their main “demo models.” And Dougie and Georgie are attractive yet average – and Georgie’s enthusiasm for sex is wonderful to see. Dougie is a lucky man.

There’s fun features like “dog toy or sex toy” where people are asked to identify a variety of toys, which can get pretty funny. The tone is informative but not boring at all. It approaches sex with a healthy, positive attitude.

The episodes are:

1 – Oral (including a sculptor who casts vulvas as art, Midori giving a very seductive blow job lesson,

a clinical psychologist talking positively about vulvas)

2 – Manual (including hand jobs, masturbation, great anatomy info section on manual stimulation on women, Carol Queen’s masturbate-a-thon)

3 – Orgasm (including g-spot and female ejaculation)

4- Toys

5 – Intercourse

6- Kink (interview with a Domme, Violet Wands, furries)

7 – Anal (including prostate massage. MasterDoc is glad I watched this section! They warn about desensitizing gels, safer sex precautions (like dental dam for rimming) and to use lots and lots of lube)

8 – Fantasy (dress up, role play, striptease, covers UK law on sex in public, porn, abduction fantasy acted out, dogging (acts done in public for others)

9 – Seduction (tantra, striptease/burlesque)

10 – Best of – a compilation of highlights from the series

Unfortunately, the first dvd  in my set was a little messed up so a few scenes were unwatchable. But I cannot recommend this series enough – particularly for people who are inexperienced sexually. But even for jaded old sex bloggers like me there were many useful things to learn from the shows.

Review: Sex: How to do Everything originally appeared on Diary of a Kinky Librarian on May 31, 2010.