Turning Lemons into Lemonade

It seems that my love of submission to MasterDoc just continues to deepen. We spent time recently at my place with the intention of “christening” it. (I’ve lived there for nearly a month and hadn’t yet had sex there.) I found that as he teased me with a scary, humiliating act I didn’t want to do, I only wanted him more. The flutter in my stomach that comes from the idea of him humiliating me leads right to my groin and turns me on. I have a fetish for being in someone else’s control. The idea of MasterDoc making me do something that I don’t want to do is hot.

The act itself, however, is not at all hot for me. That is, while I’m wildly turned on by the power he has over me, I’m not so much turned on by the idea of him pissing in my mouth. He has threatened it for a long time now and I could feel that it was coming soon. Very soon.

He teased me mercilessly about pissing in my mouth for this momentous occasion. The thing is it wasn’t teasing and I knew it. Part of me was so turned on by him exerting that kind of control over me. Part of me was terrified as the idea of having piss in my mouth just totally grosses me out. Part of me wanted to go quietly, stoically and be the good sub. But a huge part of me wanted to see if there was some way I could avoid it.

We spent time laying close on my bed. He talked to me about what he planned to do to me and he made me come in what has become the usual way – verbally. I was overwhelmed with humiliation whenever he made me think about what he planned to do (not to mention disgusted). I would do my best to let my mind wander and forget what was coming.

He took me into my bathroom and had me kneel in the tub. He positioned himself so he could pee on me without getting the floor messy. I was so anxious! Thankfully, he got too hard to pee and just had me suck his cock. Then we fucked like he had promised we would do after the piss scene. Earlier in the day he had fucked me silly and this time was the same. His every touch and every thrust feels divine. He spanked me a bit as well.

I rested in his arms after. He continued with the mind fuck of telling me he was going to piss in my mouth. I tried putting it off. I tried anything I could think of to maybe make him not do it – to no avail. And while I was scared and humiliated I was also wildly turned on and in his thrall. Of course, this arousal makes me feel more ashamed because I’m aroused by something disgusting, which only serves to arouse me more. Yes, I’m a sick freak.

He teased me about my trying to put off the inevitable. He decided that until I decided I was ready, he would drink water – lots of water. He guzzled a couple of liters, easily. Eventually it was the moment of truth and he took me back into the bathroom. He had me kneel in the shower again, told me to bend down a little and turn my head so my mouth was right by his unfortunately flaccid cock. He ordered me  to turn my head. He ordered me to open my mouth. And as a good sub ever striving to be pleasing, I did. He peed into my mouth.

Now I should have mentioned that all through the teasing, he was also filling my head with the notion that I would enjoy the act, that it would please him, and that I could orgasm when his piss hit my mouth – and wouldn’t that feel good? So I stroked my cunt as he had me line up my face by his cock and while I didn’t want to come from such a disgusting, humiliating act, I had the thought, “If I’m going to have to do this, I might as well enjoy it.” I came. He only pissed in my mouth for a moment and then pissed all over me, all over my back. I could hear him chuckle gleefully as he did this. I was his dirty piss slut who came when he pissed in her mouth.

There wasn’t as strong a taste as I thought, but it was salty and then the terrible after taste – the taste took on the equivalent of the odor that old pee leaves someplace. Yuck. As soon as he was done and told me I could clean up, I turned on the faucet and wiped my tongue with dampened hands to get rid of the taste.

I showered, not quite waiting for the water to get warm enough. After the shower I was freezing and in serious need of aftercare. He cuddled me and I was feeling dazed. He actually did it. I actually let him, well, submitted to him. I actually came. Fuck.

He reminded me that he had promised a fuck after, and told me to set up my Hitachi. He fucked me from behind on my bed and thankfully we had brought my Fascinator throe along. The strong buzzing of the Hitachi against my clit paired with his big cock filling me up led to quite a series of orgasms when he gave me permission. Of course first he had me hold back. I whimpered and moaned as I was on the edge of coming and so very desperate to do so. When I came I squirted all over my hand and the throe. Not just once but a few times. I swear I must have ejected a gallon of liquid. I was totally spent after and could only collapse on the bed.

A friend asked me today if I was traumatized by the act, and I have to admit I’m not. MasterDoc and I packed up after the final fuck as it was getting late, and we walked to his place. I found myself feeling a bit physically ill – but could tell it was psychologically triggered. I asked him for more aftercare as such an intense scene left me needing much more than usual. I think an intense scene can put your body into a state of shock – that’s what it felt like to me. He held me tight on the couch and I let myself relax into his arms and feel soothed.

Strangely, I feel like this was an incredibly intimate and connecting event.