Monthly Archive for September, 2010

Friday night I met up with Blondie, my date from a couple of weeks ago, while out at the swing club with MasterDoc and DeeDee. Yes, I know that’s an odd thing to invite someone to on a second date, but well that’s the kind of perv I am. Sometimes I think I have no sense of how the “regular,” non-kinky world operates – or that others may or may not understand my way of doing things. Ultimately I think it’s best to be me and see how the other person reacts. I want to be with someone who can handle my lifestyle.

I’ve gradually been introduced to my date’s sexy past. On our first date she mentioned shyly having been a sex surrogate. I’m sure my completely mellow and positive reaction to that has helped move along the level of things she feels comfortable telling me. I knew about the pro-Domme work by the end of the first date, but didn’t catch the porn work until the second one. I’m sure there’s plenty of people out there who would be freaked out by these things, but personally I think they’re utterly cool and sexually very hot. While I had looked at her myspace page, I didn’t notice porn info (but when she mentioned doing porn for the first time around me she thought I probably already knew from her page). I had known she did fetish modeling though. So dribs and drabs have some out in a short space of time. I can totally understand the gradual revealing of information – I want to be open about who I am and what I like to get up to, but I worry about judgment. So I have to toss a few things out there and see how they go. If they go well I can toss a few more out there.

So far anything we’ve each thrown out there has seemed to go well. After all a pervy sex blogger has much in common with a fetish porn actress. (Oh yes, she not only did “straight” porn, she’s also done fetish. HAWT!) I woke up Saturday morning to MasterDoc and DeeDee looking up her porn online, and seeing the kinky stuff she’s done makes me feel really happy and comfortable being a perv around her. This isn’t the first time I’ve fooled around with a porn actress, but it is the first time I’m dating one I suppose.

At the same time, I don’t want her to feel like sex is the only thing I’m after. She took a break from porn so her life has been different in the past few years. As much as I love hot sex and think she and I could have a ton of fun together, I am also happy to go at her pace should it happen to be slower than mine currently. I like her. I feel there’s time for things to develop. Perhaps the most amazing thing for me is the fact that I feel reasonably confident she likes me. Usually I can’t believe the other woman is into me. I suppose my self-esteem is finally at a point where, while some nerves and fear of rejection remain, I can also sit back and say, “She acts like she likes me. And why shouldn’t she?” Having an open mind that the other person could like you helps immeasurably. I’ve probably done more self-sabotage with women by refusing to believe they could possibly like me. (Sad, I know.)

Feminist perv that I am, I don’t assume that just because she’s done kinky shit she would necessarily want to do the same right away with me. I don’t take it personally that she likes to use gloves when first sleeping with someone new. I see it as a smart safer sex precaution. It’s more precaution than I feel is necessary for my own peace of mind, but the whole point of risk assessment is deciding what level of risk works for you. I can’t decide anyone else’s level of acceptable risk.

So after that long-winded intro, I suppose I should talk about Friday night.

Blondie was delayed, so she doesn’t come into the story until a little later. I hung out at the club with MasterDoc and DeeDee. He had us take turns sucking his cock right there in the open as usual. It’s cute to see how much he loves showing off the hot sex he has on tap from TWO women. He’s not someone you’d guess that about at first glance. But his confidence is alluring. And then you see his big cock. And then you discover his incredible skill in bed. And you figure out that he’s a highly intelligent man who is also a huge pervert – AND has a sense of humor. I really didn’t stand a chance when I met him, did I?

I started getting nervous that she hadn’t shown up. I’m still in that stage where my fragile ego is convinced I’ll get rejected. Thankfully, MasterDoc took me off into the back room and did some play to get my mind off things.

We actually brought my wrist and ankle cuffs for once (we have often meant to) and he attached me to the St. Andrew’s cross with DeeDee’s assistance. I had on my bra, fishnet stockings and garter belt, but had taken off my dress – and not worn panties in the first place. He spanked me, hitting me pretty hard. I found myself in a decidedly masochistic mood. He flogged me, used the riding crop on me. He flogged my butt and my upper back. I loved the pain, I loved the sense of him being in control. The crowd that night seemed less kink-savvy than it is some nights, but I blocked the crowd out and let myself get into the flogging. He started playing with my cunt, and shortly he told me to come. Fuuuuuck. It’s hard to come while holding yourself in a standing position. Oh yeah I’m technically held up by wrist cuffs, but I can’t really place my whole weight on that. So I had this struggle of “oh god that feels good, I’m coming!” mixed with “ow, my body is getting really tired from trying to hold myself up.” I think I squirted a tiny bit but it was interrupted by needing to support myself. I prefer coming when I can just lose myself to the orgasm and not have to worry about holding myself up.

I rested a bit after, thinking that I really need to get into shape. I talked to DeeDee about her latest job prospects when MasterDoc went off to use the bathroom. The three of us were back in the socializing area when Blondie showed up. I was glad to see her. I’m trying to find the right balance of excitement over meeting someone new I like, and expressing that I like her, without seeming too intense. I don’t know yet if this will be a romance, or play partners, or what have you. And being poly and already in a stable relationship I find it much easier to relax and see where life takes me. For now, I enjoy her company, I’m hot for her and want to keep getting together. The last thing I want to seem like is that old U-Haul joke (you know, the one that goes, “What does a lesbian bring to a second date?” “A U-Haul.”).

Walking around the swing club with another woman is a very different experience than being there with a man. It was the first time I had done so, and jeezus, the men flock. That evening seemed to have more than the usual amount of clueless males, but I think it would have been bad regardless. The lack of respect by your average straight guy for something that’s going on between two women is highly irritating. She was flogging me on the cross (not attached this time, but yes I was flogged twice. Yes, I’m lucky!)  and some total idiot called out “What’s that feel like?!” and then came up beside me, put his hands against the wall and stuck his butt out. Blondie had no trouble firmly but politely telling him that he’s interrupting. I had no problem turning to him and letting him know he was being rude. “Seriously, you’re being a bit of a dick right now,” I said. He scurried off. The issues seem to be that in the swing atmosphere it’s much more accepted to try to get in on the action. It’s never okay to touch without permission, or to be a dick, but aggressive men asking if they could join us is to be expected. Kinksters seem to have a much better sense of letting people do their thing and not intruding. Just because you’re playing in public doesn’t mean you want people to join in. It pissed me off that the social conditioning for men is such that they can’t envision two women just playing together. We don’t need your cock to join in guys! I love cock and I’m pretty sure Blondie does too, but we’re perfectly happy being kinky by ourselves thank you.

It’s a shame because we have to be firm and bitchy. If you’re at all polite or friendly the guy will come back again, and again, and again. But it’s not easy to always be bitchy. If a guy is cute and under the right circumstances I’d be up for fucking him then I don’t want to be so stern that I make sure he never comes back. But if I’m not up for fucking him that night I’m in for lots of badgering all evening. And by the end of the night I’m far less interested.

We talked with a cute Asian guy, but his many attempts to get our numbers, invite us out to another swing club, etc. went un-encouraged for the most part. I gave him this blog address, but wouldn’t give out phone number. After all, I know my situation as MasterDoc’s submissive and the fact that me going to a swing club with some other guy is pretty counter to our dynamic. I don’t think he or I would be happy with that situation. (I don’t rule it out, but it’s not of interest just now.) Somehow it’s different with a woman. Women aren’t so fucking pushy.

But when we managed to ignore the interruptions she gave me a lovely flogging – a bit of pain mixed with lots of the lovely softness of her rabbit fur flogger. Her flogger is of a better quality than the one I acquired recently, and it’s possible to give a good hit with it. She used the riding crop on me (including my outer limbs which MasterDoc doesn’t usually do). I needed to sit down after a while, and she suggested I lay down on the bed so she could flog my front. Rowr. This she did, she also spread my legs to slap my thighs. I think she was going a bit easy on me, which would make perfect sense playing with someone new. I hope to encourage her to go harder in the future. She straddled me and played with my tits. I stroked her legs and when she took her top down to reveal her lacy camisole, I reached up to play with her tits too. I was in a happy place!

All of us left at the same time, and at the end I had expressed interest in going with her to a women-only play party the following night. (She had mentioned it before, I had been to a few of these parties years ago.) We parted ways with the agreement to make plans the next day.