Monthly Archive for June, 2010

So our new friend – I didn’t get into the blog thing much so I have no idea what alias she’d like – and I prefer giving people the choice of their blog name. So I think I’ll still refer to her as “new friend” until (if) I can suss out what she wants to be called here.

She wrote a sexy, smart, fun ad on craigslist looking for a couple to Dominate her. She sent MasterDoc a picture – and is really cute. And while I so often feed on other people’s insecurities, I didn’t get the feeling from her that she had any issue with what she was doing there with us – and it was easier for me to join in than it usually is. (MasterDoc indicated that on the surface it didn’t look too different, but I really felt a difference in my comfort level.) Also, I worry that cute, young, thin people will look at me, or MasterDoc or DeeDee, and think one or more of us is too old, fat, unattractive, etc. I not only sell myself short, I sell my loved ones short too. (Horrible isn’t it? I mean, if I find them to be fucking hot why don’t I believe others will too?? Again, I buy too into the narrative that says you have to be young, thin, beautiful to be sexy. Dammit Nadia, stop that!)

I actually agreed, pretty easily too, to wear the maid costume yesterday. It seemed like it would fit the situation and indeed it did. DeeDee was in Domme mode and had on a fabulous outfit. (A red and black mesh fishtail sort of skirt and her black corset. Nice!) While there were times when it felt like we were playacting, I think that’s really what we wanted – to fulfill our fantasies. To not be totally “ourselves” the whole time. We clicked well on an “ourselves” level, but we also had great fun indulging our perversions.

As I said earlier, with this woman somehow I picked up that she was keen to fuck and be kinky like I so often am. I didn’t have doubts about her desires like I do around so many women. MasterDoc and DeeDee said they had a hard time reading her and seeing her get aroused initially, but I picked up on the subtle changes in her breathing or reactions. (MasterDoc is usually the master at this, but I guess I just clicked with her in that way a little more.)

MasterDoc got her on the bed and spanked her for a bit. He caned her a little too, something she hadn’t experienced before, and he of course kept it to a minimum. (She also mentioned that her non-kinky boyfriend wouldn’t like seeing her really marked up. He doesn’t get the sense of it being sexy like us kinky freaks do.) At some point he ended up spanking DeeDee and making her come.

We had put the underbed restraints on the bed before she got there, and MasterDoc had me help put her in the restraints. This makes me think back to the first time I played with MasterDoc alone, and I ended up restrained on his living room floor thinking, “Gee, I hope my impressions of him being safe are spot on, or I could be in deep shit!” Thankfully they were spot on, and maybe my presence and the trust I so clearly have for him can help convey this level of safety to other women who come play.

The details of this interlude are fuzzy like intense sexual experiences often are. I know that I used the gigi vibe on her body – teasing her breasts, belly, and pussy. I allowed myself to get into enjoying playing with her, and as a result this was probably far hotter for her than me being shy would have been. I can’t recall if we made her come with the toys just then – or after a short break. MasterDoc left her bound in the bedroom for a few minutes and spoke to DeeDee and I out in the living room. Then he and I went back in.

I went down on her, and I think I’m finally getting over my stupid hangups about giving oral sex to women. It’s so sad that I haven’t let myself enjoy it because I’ve been fed the notion that women’s genitals are “smelly” or “dirty” my whole life. Fuck that. Eating pussy can be really fun and hot.

Perhaps this is when we took over really working her body over – MasterDoc lubed up the gigi and put it inside. I used the magic wand on her clit. We took turns pounding her with our fingers (not an easy thing to do, but she reacted the most to that). Ultimately we made her come as she lay tied down on the bed.

I was feeling patient and secure for once – while I was horny and wanted orgasms I was truly able to trust that MasterDoc would see to me sooner or later. I immersed myself in enjoying the hot perversity going on around me, and didn’t require the focus to be on me.

I teased MasterDoc at one point and he decided to cane me. Once his attention turned to me, he realized that I hadn’t come yet, and before putting our guest on the sybian, he gave me a ride. Yummy! The unyearned for orgasms are sometimes the best – the surprise satisfaction you’re given while you’re being patient and not self-centered. I squirted like a fountain, came violently, and I’m sure impressed our guest. I had to lay down after, and DeeDee was so very kind to clean up for me.

I felt fucking great. It was time to get our guest on the sybian. MasterDoc gave her a ride while DeeDee spanked her (though MasterDoc didn’t think it was hard enough) and pressed against her. (I forgot to mention that DeeDee did the same to me – it was really hot but nearly anything could have been done to me at that point and I would have found it hot.) It took a while, but she came hard and came away from the experience agreeing that the sybian is fucking awesome. She even squirted for the first time!

She and I hung out chatting while DeeDee and MasterDoc ended up in the bedroom again. We could hear DeeDee coming, and while I’m usually an insatiable slut at that point in time I was ready to hang out and chat. That’s the type of friend with benefits I want – one I can hang out with and have intelligent conversation with – not just fucking.

Our new friend had to get going, so we said our goodbyes. I let her know that I hoped she comes back. We’ll see what comes of it. Although MasterDoc is concerned we focused too much on her pleasure and not enough on her use.

A little later, I was still sooooo horny. And this week I’ve only just come to realize that I repress a certain percentage of my horniness because once MasterDoc is done having sex, I figure I should be happy with what he gives me. But this isn’t the smartest move as I’ve started feeling resentful that a man with three girlfriends isn’t giving me as much sex and play as I’d like. It’s truly okay that he sees other women and has fun with them, but my sexual needs aren’t being met 100% – despite sex with MasterDoc being the best fucking sex I have ever had in my life. I’d be thrilled to have even more sex with him, but since he is so very poly, I realize that I need to find another person to help finish meeting my sexual needs. It’s definitely not that MasterDoc is inadequate – I repressed so much because I love him and last thing I want him to feel is inadequate. But like him, I like fucking a variety of people. Plus I’m in my late 30′s and like most women my age I’m phenomenally horny. When he was younger he did some weekends of just fucking, eating, sleeping, repeat, but I don’t think it’s where he is in his life just now. But it’s where I am. And I’ve realized I should find that – the wonderfulness of being poly is that I don’t HAVE to rely on MasterDoc to meet every single little need or desire I have.

So we had a little libido dissonance – MasterDoc was ready to relax after having a whole long sexual interlude. This was not unreasonable.  But I was still insanely horny. I still crave a lot more involved and creative sex than he’s been up for lately. (I’m dying for bondage. I seriously need someone to make me feel helpless and come. I was craving intoxication play last night – anything to make me feel helpless. That’s one of my many kinks – feeling helpless and having someone fuck me in that state (when it’s consensual) makes me really, really hot. I want someone to do a big elaborate scene Domming me. I crave this. I don’t crave another D/s relationship – I crave a playpartner. I’m happy with MasterDoc as my Dom. But I want to be doing more.

He likes to make sure I’m satisfied, so he did eventually get in the mood and he fucked me. I loved it. I went to bed so very happy.

(I had a lot of struggle with whether he was doing it just to make me happy. I never want a partner to have sex with me solely because I want it – I’d rather be horny and frustrated than feeling like I pressured someone into something. He had to convince me he WANTED sex too. He just wasn’t starting from the same horny spot I was in.)