Savoring Submission

I was feeling very cuddly and obedient Tuesday night. I threw in many “Sirs” that weren’t even strictly necessary. After my emotional outburst of the week before, it felt comforting to submit. To be his. At one point while we were cuddling, it felt like being in his arms was the most amazing, pleasurable place I could be. He counseled me over not letting work stresses and atmospheres push me into depression. Having him guide me is so very important. I still wince and shudder when I think that out of depression I nearly walked out.

He had me suck his cock. I suppose a good nickname for cocks would be “slut’s pacifier.” It’s not only hot to suck him til he’s good and hard, it’s also a comforting place to be. When I’m truly engaged in it, I don’t think about my problems. While I sucked, he talked about rough riding me. (Definition 1.2) He was going to let me use the Acuvibe on my cunt while going down on him but I couldn’t get in a good position to do so. So instead he told me I’d better get myself wet through thinking nice thoughts.

He told me that he’s trained me really well in sucking cock. He likes the way I take it in deep. He grasped my hair at times, and the whole situation was making me horny. The idea of unlubed sex with a stranger? Horrifying. Idea of unlubed sex with my Dom – hot beyond belief. Also, I was aroused, so I figured that I was likely to be at least somewhat wet.

He had me put a condom on and then suck his cock some more. The condom had the most vile tasting lube (w/ nonoxynol-9. I thought they banned that shit!), however, I was in full submissive mood so I just did as I was told and resolved to only mention the putrid lube later. Instead of taking his cock well into my mouth, I ended up doing a lot of spitting and drooling on it to wet it (and to avoid getting more lube in my mouth).

The Fascinator Throe is in the laundry, so we only had a towel to make sure I didn’t wet the bed with my come. He had me get on hands and knees. He slapped my ass and said, “Here’s your foreplay!” He spanked me some more. He knows just the right amount of roughness to get me going.

He fucked me, and certainly I wasn’t completely dry. The idea of him forcing his way into me got me lubed up in no time. He said, “Who needs lube?” Apparently not us as my pussy did what it needed to do.

He fucked me for a long  time and alternately slow and fast. My head ended up way down on the bed so that my ass was as accessible as possible. “Take that, bitch!” In a consensual act of sex that’s fucking hot.

At one point he had me squeeze my vaginal muscles then release. He then resumed fucking me. I started to worry that I wouldn’t be able to hold back from coming after giving the clenching a test. He teased me and I struggled with finding that balance between enjoying the feeling and not getting so aroused I come. I love when he drags things out and keeps me on the edge of orgasm for a while. I love when he fucks me.

Eventually, he had me come and slapped my cunt to keep me coming after his penis was pushed out. He starts to gently touch my pussy and he gradually does more and more, teasing my hole, which makes me come more. As he slowly moves to putting his fingers inside me, I’m so hot with the desperate desire for him to violate me more blatantly. By his holding back a bit I think I came harder than I might have if he had just started in fingering me hard. But did I yearn for those fingers inside me! I love when he fingers me. I squirted…and missed the towel. Doh. But by bedtime the bed was dry.

I was feeling really cuddly after I recovered from the intense orgasms. He provided aftercare in a really good way at one point – he propped his book on my back and sat there reading, all the while caressing my butt, back and thighs. It was needed attention coupled with just a wee bit of objectification. I later enjoyed laying my head on his tummy, thinking that I should savor that moment in case he loses weight and has less tummy in the future. While I wholeheartedly support him losing weight to be healthier, I do like his tummy. But I’d definitely sacrifice his tummy for his health.

By the end of that evening, I had forgotten about the upcoming threat of the weekend. He’s having a guy who has come for a few shows with DeeDee come to see me – and to watch me pee. I am phenomenally pee-shy. I am terrified. He says that it’s ok, I can take as long as I need. But jeez, it might take me all weekend to relax enough to do that! And it doesn’t help knowing that the guy likes the humiliation of making a woman pee in front of him. He’ll love my struggle and anxiety. But while I’m scared, I’m also keen to do as I’m told. MasterDoc wants me to do it, so I want to succeed to please him.

While thinking about this that night I realized that I truly am a masochist. It’s not just a physical thing, but I get turned on by him pushing me outside my comfort zone. I get off on him making me hurt mentally (but as we discussed then, it’s about pain but never scarring or permanently injuring – mentally or physically. Ok, maybe a little physical scarring if it’s consensual.) While I’m terrified about peeing in front of someone, the idea that he’s making me do it is a turn on.