Monthly Archive for November, 2009

Pee-Shy

Published on November 30, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, caning, dom, edge play, embarrassment, emotions, exhibitionism, flogging, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, show, spanking, squirting, submissive and sybian. 3 Comments

I was feeling extra shy and anxious about the show MasterDoc had planned this morning. I knew that the guy coming liked to watch women pee; he had watched DeeDee on one of her recent visits. I am super pee-shy. I get anxiety just from trying to pee in a crowded public restroom – and that’s from within a stall where I’m by myself. MasterDoc joked with me today that he wondered what my mother managed to do to me when being potty trained that I should have such anxiety issues. Max Lagos asked me on twitter why I was pee-shy. I know intellectually that we all pee, it’s no big deal, it’s merely releasing waste liquid from your body. But somehow at a deep subconscious level I feel anxious about it. It’s embarrassing. It’s something that’s supposed to be totally private. I hated hearing about DeeDee’s experience. Just hearing about it was painful.

MasterDoc reassured me that it’s not a big deal if I couldn’t manage to do it. He tried to allay my anxiety but I still thought to myself, “I need drugs! Now! Tranquilizers! Alcohol!”

When our guest showed up he asked me how the library business was. I figured MasterDoc had mentioned what I do, or the blog or something, but our guest told me that he had seen me before a while ago. It must’ve been one of the shows earlier on in my relationship with MasterDoc. I did panic for a few moments wondering if I knew him from where I work. I think I just eventually got to the point, as I was sucking MasterDoc’s cock, that I was in for a penny, in for a pound and should just go with it. Whoever this guy is he already knew I’m a submissive slut.

MasterDoc had me go back to suck his cock for a while. I had been in the middle of doing that when our guest buzzed the door. I did lots of deep throating when I went back to sucking him, and focused totally on the blow job. He had me take his cock out of my mouth for a moment and look up at him while he stroked my cheek with his cock. He had me take the head just a little bit into my mouth, still looking at him. Eye contact with MasterDoc is hot for me, but eye contact with others is really difficult.

MasterDoc bent me over the scoop on the floor. He asked if I wanted to be bound with the wrist and thigh cuffs and I said yes. Even though the position might have potentially been uncomfortable I was keen enough to try it because I’ve craved bondage. He beat me with two of the canes, the two  floggers. I focused on breathing in order to deal with the pain. He told me to look at our guest, and I could barely fix my eyes on him for more than a split second. I kept closing my eyes and looking down. Eye contact is harder for me than many other things. Pee on me. Make me lick your ass. But please don’t make me make eye contact with someone I don’t know. With my anxiety level already high, it was exceptionally hard.

Apparently the flogger left a nice pattern on my upper back and the canes left a nice pattern on my butt. Unfortunately there was no camera handy. MasterDoc dipped his fingers into my cunt to see if I was wet, and I was so wet you could hear the squishing. He caned me some more and then released me from the bonds. I kept laying face down over the scoop because I didn’t want to see our guest.

MasterDoc had me sit face up with legs spread, but he let me wear a blindfold. I used my bullet vibe on my clit, and as usual I felt turned on knowing there was an audience but not being able to see said audience. MasterDoc had me turn back over. He lubed up my ass with his finger in case he decided to fuck my ass. I rubbed the vibe against clit and moaned as he fingered my ass. He backed off a bit and said, “Show me how much you want it. Show me how much you want my cock.”

I was writhing and humping the vibe. He had me get up on my knees to get fucked from behind. After some thought as to which hole he’d take, he fucked my cunt. The blindfold allowed me to relax and focus on what was going on. When he let me come I squirt a huge puddle all over pillow and rug. (Next time I will hopefully remember the throe.) He kept me coming a good long time and I squirted more than once.

After a rest, MasterDoc decided to put me on the sybian since I had been a good girl this weekend. But I first tried to nonchalantly ask if I could go use the bathroom. MasterDoc picked up on my attempt at passing it by him and right away asked me, “What for?” When I said I had to pee I covered my face with my hands and felt embarrassed. But there was no letting me off. The two men followed me into bathroom. I was instructed to sit on the toilet leaning back, with my legs spread. I tried to pee, really I did. MasterDoc asked me if I’d prefer looking at him or eyes closed. Definitely eyes closed! Our guest ran the water faucet in the sink. That didn’t help. I couldn’t help but laugh when MasterDoc added in the bathtub faucet. I struggled with trying to relax my sphincter. I shifted my weight around, put my hands up to my face; I was really fidgety. They eventually left me alone but I’m wasn’t supposed to go without letting them know. I still couldn’t pee. Several more minutes passed, and MasterDoc came in to tell me that our guest had said to let me off the hook about peeing, and get me on the sybian. MasterDoc let me pee without an audience but with my anxiety level so high I still had some trouble. Eventually, I managed to get a little out and I rejoined them in the living room.

We got me situated on the sybian. MasterDoc told me that as I’m working up to coming I can look down or at him, but when I’m ready to come I have to look at our guest as I ask permission until MasterDoc gives me permission to come. I find that even with sybian cranked up I can’t overcome my anxiety over making eye contact. It’s clear to MasterDoc that I’m overwhelmed by anxiety when I don’t come or even seem all that close to coming.  He finally gives me permission to just come, and even then it takes several seconds before I can truly orgasm. I bury my head in his chest and hump the sybian as I come.

Our guest leaves after this, telling me he likes my smile as he says goodbye. I’m so embarrassed I can barely look him in the eye. I curl up on the sofa with the throe over me while MasterDoc walks him to the door. I’m feeling a little like I’m in shock, or having a touch of PTSD. I think it’s just that extreme anxiety will cause me to get a little triggered. After some talking with MasterDoc about the experience and how I felt, I calmed down and the bad feelings went away. I wonder if it would have helped to have me pee in front of MasterDoc before trying a stranger. I can pee in the same room as Davey or MasterDoc, but I have only once in my life had someone actually watch me pee. (And that was totally not erotic to me and I had a hard time then too. It was about 10 years ago with the guy who was my boyfriend at the time.) It made it even harder knowing that they (MasterDoc and guest) would enjoy seeing my embarrassment and struggle with this task. MasterDoc was not at all upset with me for not being able to do it, but the experience was stressful on the whole. Luckily, we went out for tea (sandwiches, scones and a large selection of teas to choose from) after and this very urbane meal helped me feel more centered and relaxed.

MasterDoc asked me if the experience was at least hot, and I had to admit that I was too anxious to feel turned on. The caning turned me on. Using the bullet vibe on myself turned me on, but any eye contact or pee attempts freaked me the hell out. I was feeling a little bit hot about the idea before our guest arrived. But with someone there I don’t know, I was overly anxious.

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Just a Brief Little Account of Sex

Published on November 29, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, blow jobs, bondage, gags, masturbation, orgasm on command, sex and sex toys. 1 Comment

Last night we got freaky in bed. As MasterDoc got hard watching porn, I had just a glimpse of it before I lay down comfortably on the bed and used the Acuvibe on myself. (I couldn’t see from my angle.) But the glimpse was enough to spark a fantasy; a fantasy of being tied up and gagged and hurt like the video. Hands bound so that they’re useless, mouth gagged securely and my nipples tortured. I would love the feeling of helplessness while he did what he liked to me, touching me wherever he wished. I don’t often get that feeling of utter helplessness when we play, I’d like to feel that.

I got pretty hot from this fantasy, and was ready when he had me get on top for a ride. He pulled on my nipples a bit, and I found myself wishing he’d pull harder. While in the throes of arousal I find myself yearning for more pain than when I’m at a cold start. I had another intense orgasm, falling forward onto MasterDoc, trying to prop myself up so I don’t put too much weight on his chest for too long. I’d fail as spasms rocked me and I’d try to regain control of my position when I could between waves of orgasm. Just by touching me – not even erotic touching, he keeps me coming. No one else has ever been able to do that to me.

As we cuddled in bed before the sex, MasterDoc came up with the idea of meta-sadism – that is, pushing your submissive to the point where they disobey/break the rules. Knowing full well how most subs will struggle internally between wanting to get cranky and wanting to obey perfectly, prodding your sub until they break and get mad would be quite a bit of sadism. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t do it to me. Ha ha.

Before the porn and the fucking I played with his cock for a while. I love sucking his cock. I love to watch him feel pleasure as I prod gently on the right spots of his groin. I suppose it’s exciting because in a way it’s a little bit of him losing control while still remaining in control of me. When someone gasps with pleasure, all they’re able to do in that moment is feel that pleasure.

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Friday

Published on November 29, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, bisexuality, dom, embarrassment, exhibitionism, flogging, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex parties, sex toys, squirting, submissive and wax play. 2 Comments

We had quite a busy evening Friday night. MasterDoc booked a couple to come over for show before we were to head out to a party. I’m not used to doing shows in front of couples, or women. Both parties in the couple are Dom inclined. They were nice people and nice looking people. We got to chat a bit and then got on with the show.

MasterDoc had me take my pants off and spread my legs in the recliner. On some levels I have no trouble being bottomless in front of other like-minded individuals. But spreading my legs and being the only slut in a state of obvious arousal can be humiliating. But as we know, a little humiliation is hot to me.  MasterDoc used the Acuvibe on me. I closed my eyes as it was easy to deal with the  little embarrassment that way. It also helped me to focus on feeling good. He had me hold the vibe to my clit, and he came over with a flogger to my thighs. My pain tolerance is a strange thing, fairly tied to my level of arousal. While sometimes I yell out because something he does hurts, other times it makes me so totally hot. Friday night was the latter.

Warmed up a little, he had me lay over the Liberstor Scoop (rounded side). He used his hands on me (which can sometimes be more vicious than an implement. The man has large hands.) and the flogger, maybe the cane too? I was totally into the sensation of being beaten that night.  He reached between my legs and ran the vibe over my cunt. Then, he grabbed a candle and lit it, but the surprise factor was ruined when someone in the couple piped up, “Hot wax!” He dripped it over my ass and thighs. I’m glad he’s gotten into wax play again lately. I had missed it. He had me turn over and he ordered me to sit with legs spread. I instinctively put my hands behind my head. He tortured me with hot wax on my thighs, even pushing my thighs open wider with his foot to reach that ultra-sensitive spot. MasterDoc used the Acuvibe on me to make me come. Some embarrassment led me to not come quite as hard as I usually do, but mental focus helped me psych myself up into coming as hard as was possible. I squirted a little bit and certainly did come. (I make a point of not faking orgasms. However, I will psych myself up more into something if my physical responses aren’t up to par on a given day.)  I think a lesser orgasm for me is probably still much more intense than a regular orgasm for some women.

After working me over for a bit (time was limited), MasterDoc gave the woman in the couple a sybian ride. She’s quite cute, and fond of dominating women, so I hope we will see her (and her gentleman) again.

The sybian saw a lot of action Friday night.

We went to a new play party – or new to us anyway. The host of the party had friended us on Fetlife. Play parties always being an expense to consider, MasterDoc had me write to the host and offer to bring his sybian in exchange for the two of us being comped. (Please, don’t assume a doctor makes an obscene amount of money, it’s not always true.) And luckily that was perfectly cool with the host.

When we arrived at the party, we set the sybian up. I got to chat with a really nice young queer guy who was dying of curiosity to try the sybian. MasterDoc assured him that he had tried it himself (despite being terminally straight, he loves anal stimulation) but I think the guy doubted MasterDoc’s hetero point of view. The party had a nice variety of people there. The host is black, and the proportion of black people there was much higher than most kink events I’ve been to. In general, most people were pretty nice and friendly. It was a great atmosphere. The only bit of diversity that seemed missing were obvious lesbians. Most women seemed to be bi, but unlike the clearly queer guys there didn’t seem to be any clearly queer women.

I got a second chance to try the violet wand. I like it and wish we could afford one (those things are expensive!) But it was a pretty casual thing while we were standing around and the owner of the wand happened to plug it in near us and start using it on (willing) people.

The space had three rooms and a common area, we never made it into the dance room. I prefer being able to talk to the people around me, unless I’ve specifically gone out to dance. In the quietest room, a fem Dom who had been talking to us earlier came in and reached out to caress both me and MasterDoc as we sat side by side on a table. She had some toys that we haven’t used: a braided flogger and a dragon’s tail. To quote John Mellencamp, it “hurts so good.”  As I stood with my pants down and head on the table, MasterDoc came up next to me and talked me through breathing slowly and controlling my breathing to control my response to the pain. It hurt, but with appropriate breathing I could manage. MasterDoc took a turn with the braided flogger – owie. It requires a different technique than he’s used to with a regular flogger so it hurt more when he did it. He used the magic wand on me as our new friend flogged me.

My ass was nice and red and sore after. The room we were in had mirrors so I got a good look. Next came the sybian ride. As usual, I was the first one at the party since other women were tentative about trying this machine out. I had my usual screaming orgasm – it went something like this: “Oh god, oh god, oh fuck, oh fuck, *scream* oh fuck, fuck, fuck, oh yes, oh god.” (Lather, rinse, repeat.) It felt like the orgasms were wrenched out of me. (I wonder if my uncoordinated grasping at MasterDoc during this is what led to the loss my new bracelet. I really have no idea when during the night I lost it.) After, a guy who had witnessed it told me, “Please, don’t hold back. You should let us know how you feel!” I was fucking loud.

Besides me, and the lady earlier in the evening, six ladies  enjoyed a ride on the sybian. The first lady, begged for a second ride and MasterDoc gave it to her. She would have gone for round three if she was permitted. She convinced her sister sub to take a ride, and she (a lovely, tall, curvy, African-American lady with glasses and pigtails) looked like a woman possessed as she came. Their Dom handcuffed the first lady for her ride (I think that’s hot!). Every woman was a satisfied customer. One told her boyfriend “fuck you” as she came uncontrollably on the sybian. Funny thing is she’s the one lady to find MasterDoc on fetlife and thank him for the ride. One guy worried about how he’d measure up to the machine, but I assured him that despite my love for the sybian, I still want MasterDoc’s cock on a regular basis.

The only drawbacks to the party was that there was no where to fuck (it was a space rented from a theatre company), the music was really loud, the space quite crowded and you couldn’t bring beverages into the rooms where you played. But it was one hell of a fun night!

On the way home, I was desperate for a pee. As we walked through the cold to his building, MasterDoc teased me a little. We got inside, and he went to the elevator – and merely rested his hand by the button! Argh! Then as we waited for the elevator he came up behind me, reached around and pressed my tummy by the bladder. Evil, evil man! In the apartment, he stood between me and the path to the bathroom. He is truly a sadist! It was a relief when I could finally go.

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Nadia’s Holiday Gift Picks

Published on November 26, 2009 in Uncategorized, reviews and sex toys. 0 Comments

Now that Thanksgiving dinner is digesting, and gift-giving season is upon us, I thought I’d recommend some of the best sex-related stuff I’ve had the pleasure of reviewing and/or owning. (And alas, some of it isn’t currently available at the stores linked. But hopefully soon! Anyway that’s proof I actually like these things and I’m not just listing them to garner sales.)

For Your Nymphomation Big Foot Case

I got this last year, and I must confess I don’t use it as much as I should. The reason I don’t use it is that we need larger bag for going to parties and clubs, but the FYN Adult Toybox should be coming my way from one of the sites I review for – and that may just be the item we need. I also want to invest in the FYN Cane Case for MasterDoc’s new canes. I lust after FYN’s Rolling Toy Trunk. But anyway, back to the Big Foot. For a relatively small case (12″x5″x5″) it holds an amazing amount of stuff. The side pockets are handy for storing little things like lube packets, condoms and toy batteries – stuff that you’d usually hunt for. The elastic straps at the top ensure that you can make full use of the space, and yet still reach the rest of your toys in the main area of the bag. AND this bad boy locks like all the other FYN cases. No nosy children can get a peek at your adult paraphernalia. To top it all off, Vera, head of FYN is extremely nice.

Liberator Fascinator Throe

If you squirt – ever – you need this. It’s microfiber on one side (or shag) and satiny on the other, but the key is the waterproof center. Seriously, I have come buckets on this thing and not a drop has soaked through. It’s larger than a towel so it covers much more. PLUS it’s machine washable and dryable. And it comes in nifty colors and prints. Everyone I know who has a Throe is in total love with it. I am definitely one of that group.

Acuvibe Mini

It’s rechargeable, therefore you never need batteries. It’s only one speed, but that speed is comparable to the low setting on the ever-amazing Hitachi Magic Wand. (And for many of us that is plenty intense.) The only drawback is that after about an hour it needs recharging, but it comes with the adapter and the recharge is only an electrical outlet away. Oh and why else does it beat the Hitachi for traveling? It’s smaller and lighter (and easier to handle) and of course doesn’t need an outlet when it’s charged. No more searching for outlets at a play party! The head is not perfectly cylindrical but has a nifty bump on one side.

Archer Wand

I love glass toys. They are easy to clean and disinfect. They are hard and unyielding, cold when you start but warm up to your body with time. You can make them warm or cold with water. The archer wand is particularly delightful because the curve reaches your g-spot without any effort. The balled ends provide a large enough surface and enough pressure to potentially cause squirting. While I hear that the Njoy Pure Wand is superior (it’s stainless steel and longer), the archer wand is a cheaper alternative until you can save up for the Njoy. (Babeland had sent the archer wand to me for review, but they don’t carry it any more. So I’ve linked to Vibe Review.)

My own holiday wish list? The Lelo Gigi (in Deep Rose), Njoy Eleven, Njoy Pure Plug (medium). Oh and the For Your Nymphomation Cane Case listed above.

If you decide to purchase any of these goodies for your paramours, please use the links in this post or the store links on the side. I write this blog purely for the joy of it, but a tiny bit of commission on sales would be welcome as a little thank you. (Seriously, I make barely anything off my affiliate links. Any bit you send my way is appreciated. Thank you to those who have used my links!)

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HNT – Bracelet

Published on November 26, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, dating, dom, happy, hnt, photos and submissive. 6 Comments

IM000082It’s blurry; I snapped this photo myself just this morning. But I wanted to share my new lock bracelet from MasterDoc. I wear it constantly.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my pals in the U.S. And Happy Half Nekkid Thursday to all!

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Savoring Submission

Published on November 25, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, edge play, embarrassment, exhibitionism, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sadism, sex, shio, spanking, squirting, stress and submissive. 2 Comments

I was feeling very cuddly and obedient Tuesday night. I threw in many “Sirs” that weren’t even strictly necessary. After my emotional outburst of the week before, it felt comforting to submit. To be his. At one point while we were cuddling, it felt like being in his arms was the most amazing, pleasurable place I could be. He counseled me over not letting work stresses and atmospheres push me into depression. Having him guide me is so very important. I still wince and shudder when I think that out of depression I nearly walked out.

He had me suck his cock. I suppose a good nickname for cocks would be “slut’s pacifier.” It’s not only hot to suck him til he’s good and hard, it’s also a comforting place to be. When I’m truly engaged in it, I don’t think about my problems. While I sucked, he talked about rough riding me. (Definition 1.2) He was going to let me use the Acuvibe on my cunt while going down on him but I couldn’t get in a good position to do so. So instead he told me I’d better get myself wet through thinking nice thoughts.

He told me that he’s trained me really well in sucking cock. He likes the way I take it in deep. He grasped my hair at times, and the whole situation was making me horny. The idea of unlubed sex with a stranger? Horrifying. Idea of unlubed sex with my Dom – hot beyond belief. Also, I was aroused, so I figured that I was likely to be at least somewhat wet.

He had me put a condom on and then suck his cock some more. The condom had the most vile tasting lube (w/ nonoxynol-9. I thought they banned that shit!), however, I was in full submissive mood so I just did as I was told and resolved to only mention the putrid lube later. Instead of taking his cock well into my mouth, I ended up doing a lot of spitting and drooling on it to wet it (and to avoid getting more lube in my mouth).

The Fascinator Throe is in the laundry, so we only had a towel to make sure I didn’t wet the bed with my come. He had me get on hands and knees. He slapped my ass and said, “Here’s your foreplay!” He spanked me some more. He knows just the right amount of roughness to get me going.

He fucked me, and certainly I wasn’t completely dry. The idea of him forcing his way into me got me lubed up in no time. He said, “Who needs lube?” Apparently not us as my pussy did what it needed to do.

He fucked me for a long  time and alternately slow and fast. My head ended up way down on the bed so that my ass was as accessible as possible. “Take that, bitch!” In a consensual act of sex that’s fucking hot.

At one point he had me squeeze my vaginal muscles then release. He then resumed fucking me. I started to worry that I wouldn’t be able to hold back from coming after giving the clenching a test. He teased me and I struggled with finding that balance between enjoying the feeling and not getting so aroused I come. I love when he drags things out and keeps me on the edge of orgasm for a while. I love when he fucks me.

Eventually, he had me come and slapped my cunt to keep me coming after his penis was pushed out. He starts to gently touch my pussy and he gradually does more and more, teasing my hole, which makes me come more. As he slowly moves to putting his fingers inside me, I’m so hot with the desperate desire for him to violate me more blatantly. By his holding back a bit I think I came harder than I might have if he had just started in fingering me hard. But did I yearn for those fingers inside me! I love when he fingers me. I squirted…and missed the towel. Doh. But by bedtime the bed was dry.

I was feeling really cuddly after I recovered from the intense orgasms. He provided aftercare in a really good way at one point – he propped his book on my back and sat there reading, all the while caressing my butt, back and thighs. It was needed attention coupled with just a wee bit of objectification. I later enjoyed laying my head on his tummy, thinking that I should savor that moment in case he loses weight and has less tummy in the future. While I wholeheartedly support him losing weight to be healthier, I do like his tummy. But I’d definitely sacrifice his tummy for his health.

By the end of that evening, I had forgotten about the upcoming threat of the weekend. He’s having a guy who has come for a few shows with DeeDee come to see me – and to watch me pee. I am phenomenally pee-shy. I am terrified. He says that it’s ok, I can take as long as I need. But jeez, it might take me all weekend to relax enough to do that! And it doesn’t help knowing that the guy likes the humiliation of making a woman pee in front of him. He’ll love my struggle and anxiety. But while I’m scared, I’m also keen to do as I’m told. MasterDoc wants me to do it, so I want to succeed to please him.

While thinking about this that night I realized that I truly am a masochist. It’s not just a physical thing, but I get turned on by him pushing me outside my comfort zone. I get off on him making me hurt mentally (but as we discussed then, it’s about pain but never scarring or permanently injuring – mentally or physically. Ok, maybe a little physical scarring if it’s consensual.) While I’m terrified about peeing in front of someone, the idea that he’s making me do it is a turn on.

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Stress Relief

Published on November 25, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, cunt, masochism, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, sadism, sex toys, stress, submissive and wax play. 2 Comments

Work has been stressful lately, which sounds ridiculous since it’s a public library and not a highly competitive corporation. But mismanagement will create stress no matter where it occurs.

Thankfully, I have MasterDoc to torment me and make me forget about my stresses.

On Monday he blindfolded me. Just prior to this, he had me gather my collar, the Acuvibe mini, condoms and lube. He gathered the candle for waxing, nipple clamps and clothespins.

Unfortunately my good Liberator blindfold was missing (found it later though), but I behaved and kept my eyes closed beneath the so-so blindfold we did have handy.  So when he started dripping hot wax on my tummy, it came as quite a shock. I could tell that it was just a little ways off from my scar from the laparascopy in October since that’s a little more sensitive than it used to be. He dripped wax on my thighs and it felt like he was holding the candle quite near – which those of you in the know realize makes the wax hotter when it hits your skin, rather than giving it a second to cool slightly. I’d cry out, flinch but try to regain control of myself as soon as possible.

He had me turn over onto all fours, and dripped some wax on my back, all along the length of it. I felt him sit on the bed next to me, and he grasped my nipples roughly between thumb and forefinger. He put clothespins on my nipples and they pinched something awful. He flicked my nipples repeatedly. And this pain made me feel like my cunt was on fire. It hurt but it turned me on like crazy. He poured more wax on my back and took the vibrator to my clit. I humped the Acuvibe as best I could, moaning.

He had me turn over, clothespins still on. He flicked my nipples some more, poured more wax on me. He removed the clothespins and gave me the Acuvibe to use on myself. I reached down and spread the wetness seeping from my hole all over my pussy and used the vibe on my now lubricated clit. He sadistically poured hot wax on my sensitive nipples. The vibe was running down a bit but I kept rubbing it against my clit, slowly approaching orgasm. I heard him gather more stuff from our dresser filled with toys. He lubed me up with the tingling lube and I felt a hard, cold dildo pressing against my cunt. I couldn’t tell if it was a glass dildo – something I assumed it was until I later found out that it was my acrylic dildo. He slowly fucked me with it, working me up. Then came faster fucking and even faster fucking. He told me to come and I came hard, long, and over and over. I sound like I’m straining when I come these days. I tense up my neck and shoulders a lot and lift my head off the pillow. He forced me to come over and over, despite not being able to breathe, until I was totally satiated.

After this, all the stress had drained away from me. I was at peace. Being under his control is better than medication. He plays my body like a virtuoso plays the violin. I get to see him this weekend and I can’t wait!

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Pleasurists #55

Published on November 24, 2009 in pleasurists, reviews and sex toys. 0 Comments

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pull by aeric meredith goujon

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #54? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #56? Use our submission form and submit it before Sunday November 29th at 11:59pm PST. Be sure to read our submission guidelines.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Looking for something other than reviews?

The latest (and first) edition! e[lust] #1

Editor’s Pick

  • LELO Elise by Scintillectual

    • Remember when I said I was on hiatus from relationships? Well, I lied. I know, I know! I can hear my friends railing now about the fact that I jump into things too quickly and yes, she has already moved in with me. But, really, I do think she’s THE ONE. Before you get all hot and bothered, let me introduce you. Dear reader, this is LELO Elise.

    Note: Apparently I’m loving LELO reviews again this month (last week’s EP was LELO Ella)! I’ve read many many Elise reviews so they have to be special in order for them to catch my eye or make me want to finish them, and this one is written in an extremely entertaining manner so even if you’re burned out on LELO reviews like I thought I was it’s definitely worth the read.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

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Kinky Librarian Book Review: As She’s Told by Anneke Jacob

Published on November 21, 2009 in D/s, bdsm, bondage, dom, fantasy, kink, reviews, sadism, sexuality and submissive. 0 Comments

A couple of months ago, an email arrived in my inbox from an author, Anneke Jacob, asking if I’d be interested in reviewing her book on my blog. Since it was a bdsm book I thought, why not? I hadn’t heard of the author before, but it turns out that As She’s Told is her second book (the first being Owned and Owner) and that it won the 2008 National Leather Association Pauline Réage Novel Award.

As She’s Told is the story of Anders and Maia – a couple who first become aware of each other in an online chat room for kinksters and later meet at a local munch in Toronto (like many kinksters, they are introduced by a mutual acquaintance). What draws Anders and Maia together is their mutual desire for a truly 24/7 total power exchange (TPE) relationship. They don’t want just the illusion that he’s in charge, they both want for him to truly be in charge and her to be enslaved.

Their relationship starts off gradually, and like any good Dom he makes sure things like her studies (to be an information professional – yes, a librarian!) are given priority. The book is realistic in that Maia isn’t instantly able to submit easily to all of Anders’ orders, but it follows her struggles in making her desire to be a slave real.

Interspersed in the text are IM conversations between Anders and his also kinky cousin Karl in Denmark. (Anders is Danish.) Karl is also a Dom, but one who’s in a Dom/Domme relationship. I like that various other kinksters interested in various types and levels of bdsm relationships are included. Anders and Maia are unique in the extent of the relationship they want, but other kinksters around them, like Val the lesbian dominant who works for Anders’ construction business, can relate on some levels, even if the relationship that develops between Anders and Maia is not what they’d want. There’s even a colleague/friend of Anders’ who appears a couple of times who is into kink, but whose wife isn’t and so he contains his desires and merely lives vicariously through others. There are certainly kinksters who choose to repress their kinky selves in order to make a vanilla relationship with someone they love work. While reading the  novel, however, the fact that these various “types” are depicted is pretty subtle. It doesn’t knock you over the head with – “and here’s another type of bdsmer!”

Eventually, Maia moves in with Anders into a house that he’s worked on himself. He’s made sure that wiring and such is up to code to make the fact that she will be locked and chained in the house regularly a safer prospect. Indeed, he thinks carefully about a variety of scenarios and does what he can to ensure her safety. He’s also soundproofed the place and installed cameras so he can watch her from his computer at work when he’s not home. Anders encourages Maia to have a part time job in an information centre, but her commute to and from work is monitored so that if she’s late she is punished for not making sure she got home right away. He has her in a leather harness every day, and she is very much aware of her bound status underneath her clothes. He gradually gets her to the point where she’s in a chastity belt and her orgasms are strictly controlled. The text goes back and forth from Maia’s personal view (where we get to see her struggles and happiness) and the third-person omniscient view of Anders and the rest of the characters.

I think that the novel is hot, and I like the realism in its presentation of a 24/7 relationship. I think that while 24/7 TPE is a fantasy for some, the reality takes so much careful work and consideration that it’s not feasible for many. While TPE is not my fantasy, I can still relate to the internal struggles to behave and please your dominant. I can relate to how hot and horny Maia would get when in bondage, objectified or beaten. The relationship progresses steadily and by the end of the book Maia gets to feel dehumanized and objectified completely. I had a little discomfort reading this, only because it’s not what turns my crank. People whose kink is objectification/dehumanization will totally love it. (And Maia and Anders are happy.)

Maia and Anders seem real. I was quickly involved in their developing relationship. He is a strict but loving Master and the relationship blossoms into something they’ve both only dreamed of. While he’s a sadist, he does clearly love and cherish her. The journey they share into the M/s dynamic is engaging. If you’re into power exchange, no matter what level of it,  you will enjoy this book. It’s not surprising that Jacob’s writing won the Pauline Réage Novel Award.

As She’s Told by Anneke Jacob is available from Pink Flamingo Publications, PO Box 632, Richland, MI 49083.

While I received this novel for free for reviewing purposes, I was not expected to give any particular sort of review. The views expressed here are my honest opinion, and I received no other benefits for this review other than a copy of the book.

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Birthday

Published on November 20, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, depression, dom, emotions, happy, mental illness, orgasm on command, sex and trust. 1 Comment

Despite my depression the day before, my birthday was pretty good. (And Friday morning I woke up with a bit of a migraine aura. I haven’t had a migraine in a few years since I started taking magnesium, and this didn’t turn into a full-blown migraine, but to get to the point, when in the prodromal phase of a migraine I have often had severe mood issues a few days before the actual migraine. Alas, I only realize why when the migraine would eventually come on. But boy, does this help explain Tuesday! Thankfully, I only experienced the aura and postdrome today and avoided the pain, I guess through my regular taking of magnesium.)

So, while I still felt a bit emotionally fragile, my work day wasn’t too bad and that evening I got to have sushi with MasterDoc. He gave me a bracelet that I’ve been pining for for quite a while (first when I saw the grossly overpriced Tiffany model, then the pining became more realistic when Divasub pointed me to Eve’s Addiction.) It’s a chain with a lock (non-locking) so it’s an acceptable piece of jewelry to wear daily, but has enough bdsm symbolism to give me the warm fuzzies when I see it and think about being MasterDoc’s sub.

And I should point out here that I’m fortunate that my Dom is a doctor and the type of person to understand that things like clinical depression and migraine prodromes are somewhat out of my control. I am thankful that he understands. Of course in return I’ll do my best to understand and control my moods before they get out of control.

I fell back into sub mode on Wednesday. I was happy to do stuff even though it was my birthday. I scrubbed the kitchen counters (something that I try to keep on top of). I exercised without complaint. And consequently my evening was much nicer than the previous afternoon. When I’m happy, I’m so glad to serve. Service is much harder when I feel depressed or irritable.

We climbed into bed at one point and there was some erotic foreplay. I kissed his chest, rubbed “the spot.” (“The spot” is this particular place in the center of his upper chest that I and one of his friends [she named it] find soothing to stroke.) He directed my hand downward and I stroked his cock, then massaged around the base as he stroked it. He had me wet his fingers and he stroked my clit. We put the axis under my ass and he fucked me. It was wonderful. I only squirted a little when I came (he pointed out that he had drained me the day before) but I had delicious, hard orgasms.
I was very happy and so the second round of fucking was a total bonus. He took me from behind, and fucked me until I was frantically moaning. I could feel the mushroom head of his cock sliding along the inside of my vagina. It was as if I could feel every stroke of his cock in minute detail. The build up lead to terrific orgasms when he gave me permission to come. He’s gotten better at managing my vagina of steel and not getting his cock pushed out when I come. (I also try a bit to control the clamping down.) I came for quite a while as he continued to push his cock into my spasming cunt. I was euphoric. I cuddled up after and let him know that I was so very sorry for my outburst the day before. I felt so happy to be in his arms and to remember that I’m loved.

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