I’ve had a relatively sedate weekend. I canceled my date with Shane on Friday because I felt tired, blah and like being alone. He was a good sport about it. Yesterday I went to a friend’s baby shower and had fun, but nearly ended up explaining polyamory to the whole room. A friend said, “Where’s Davey?” (As he has long been my “official boyfriend.”) I answered her honestly, “He’s with his other girlfriend.” Man, the look on her face! Ha ha ha. I said, “It’s okay, I have another boyfriend.” I ended up laughing, turning red and when others in the room asked what was going on my friend said very loudly, very adamantly, “Nevermind! Don’t get into it!”
I took the time to write her a short note today. While I had never kept my poly status secret with this group of friends, neither have I shouted from the rooftops. So I explained, briefly, about my relationship and pointed her in the direction of Wikipedia, The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures
It was funny hanging out with this group of friends yesterday. I’ve been friends with them for years and became part of the group when I dated one of the guys in it. He’s now married and I get along great with his wife (she said that she knew about me being poly when it came up yesterday). But since most of the circles I move in are sex bloggers, bdsm practitioners and other perverts, I don’t spend a lot of time with monogamous people other than at work. Or, at least, people who don’t know about and accept polyamory. And I have to say, as much as I love these friends, I’m happier hanging out with people who are more open when it comes to sexuality and their relationships.
It’s not fun being in the closet, or having to explain your relationship choices to people. (This is probably the biggest reason (for me) to be in the closet – so you don’t have to explain yourself). But I don’t know that I have the chutzpah to live my life openly everywhere. I don’t keep the poly thing a secret much – I’ve told both my parents by now – but I also don’t push it in people’s faces. I do think some people need to be out there with it, it’s just not me.
I was relieved last night to have dinner with my friend Diva (who is certainly aware of polyamory in general and me being poly in particular) and then we met up with Tess to go to Hypergender Burlesque. Queer burlesque was a good antidote to being with the “normals” for the afternoon. (I probably shouldn’t say it like that, as my friends are wonderful people who just live more conventional lives than I do.) There were a variety of body types represented and lots of fun costumes and acts. While it’s striptease, it’s also performance art. Diva introduced me around as “the kinky librarian” and some people reacted with recognition. Cool!
I suppose only my idea of a sedate weekend would consist of watching lesbians take their costumes off. Heh. But really, compared to what you so often read here this IS sedate.
Although I must admit, I’ve long wanted to perform a striptease in the burlesque tradition. Maybe one day you’ll see me up there on stage.
Counting the days til MasterDoc is back on the east coast (two!).
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