This blog entry seems SO besides the point of what actually happened that night that I felt I had a lot to add.
So many guys, when they here I’m a dom, get green with envy.
“Wow! You have a woman who fucks who, when and how you tell her to? Who you can piss on when you get the urge? Who you can have stick her tongue up your asshole? Man that is the life!”
Well guys, it aint all kinky sex and cheap thrills.
My ex-roomie, Liz was over Sunday night to watch the football game with me. Nadia was due to come over after the game.
The first thing she did when she walked in the door was whine about how there wasn’t any parking in the usual area (a 10 minute walk away..welcome to life in the big city).
She had parked somewhere she “hoped” was legal.
Since I guessed it wasn’t I walked with her to the car Sure enough…illegal.
So I went with her while she drove to a legal spot a 15 minute walk away. And walked back with her.
Now I was NOT eager to walk but I did so beause I knew she would like the company.
On the way back from the car, I mentioned that I might want her to drive Liz back to her college the next morning.
That’s around 15 minutes round trip out of her way, but I thought she should do it because Liz has a seriously injured ankle and I want to minimize her walking to help her lessen the chance she’ll need an operation.
And for work reasons it wasnt possible for me to do it.
In NO way do I consider getting up 15 minutes early to do an errand for me as even CLOSE to an unreasonable request.
With ALL I do for her, she whould view it as TRIVIAL by comparison!

IMMEDIATELY Nadia gets all pouty and whiny about having to get up 15 minutes earlier in order to do that.
We got into the apartment and she immediately started her pouty brat behavior, answering as monosylabically as possible. I was embarrassed by her behavior in front of Liz, who knows all about BDSM. She knows I am perfectly capable of and have thrown submissive bitches right out on their asses for acting that way!
I was all ready to BLAST Nadia when I happened to look at her blog and saw this post

http://www.kinkylibrarian.net/index.php/2008/10/26/submission-and-depression/

And THEN I took a deep breath and took her into the bedroom and made her come a LOT instead. That part she told about.

As a dom who is also an MD I pride myself on my ability to sense problems and “cure” them. ANd as an MD I recognize that depression IS an illness. I no more can expect Nadia to “stop being depressed” by force of will than I would expect someone to “stop being in a diabetic coma” by force of will. I have great psychological insight, but insight is not enough.
I am so used to being able to cure so much that this is very frustrating at times.

And as a dom I expect the pleasure of my company (and the nasty things I do ) make any of my submissives feel great at all times.
So that makes it even worse.
I decided that night that I will simply have to adjust my expectations for Nadia depending on her mental status.
If she is depressed, I will have to beat,caress and sexually use her in a fashion designed to make her feel better.
And save using her in whatever fashion I want for those times when she is doing better.
Am I happy about this?
No, of course not. But it IS necessary.
Doming ain’t easy!