Monthly Archive for August, 2008

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Service

Published on August 14, 2008 in D/s. 0 Comments

I wasn’t going to write about my evening with MasterDoc last night because nothing especially interesting happened. But he thought I should write about it to show newbie subs that submission is not all about hot sex. MasterDoc is working long hours this week so I knew he would be tired when he got home last night. I got to his place before he did and I ran the dishwasher. Since I spilled a little of the powdered detergent on the floor I decided to sweep the kitchen floor (it needed it). I had some time to shower, relax, read, watch Cash Cab, before MasterDoc got home.

He called and had me come downstairs to bring stuff up from the car when he got there. He parked and got home a several minutes later (ah the joys of city parking!). He was worn out after working 36 hours in two days, followed by a visit to the gym. I knew he’d be desperate for a bath after sleeping at work the night before, so I offered to draw him a bath. I ran the bathwater while we ordered take out for dinner. He asked for water so I got it for him (frequently I anticipate that he would want it but last night I didn’t). After his bath we watched tv, waited eagerly for the sushi we ordered and just generally hung out. He was tired and I was feeling mellow so we were both fairly quiet. The sushi finally arrived and we ate.

After, we watched a little of the Olympics but then MasterDoc decided to go read (of course a librarian would tend to go for men who are readers, what did you expect?) and I picked up my book. He had me charge his cell phone and set him up for bed time. We cuddled a bit then both read some more. He went off to sleep as I finished the chapter I was on.

Pretty dull, huh? But there was the D/s dynamic still present, I was in the mindset of making his life easier and more pleasant. Yes it’s more fun to serve him by sucking his cock and being the body his flogger hits, but I felt good about being of service nonetheless. One of the things I love about D/s is the fact that in their own ways the Dom and sub take care of each other. I took care of him by drawing a bath, fetching him anything he wanted, and just generally being helpful. He takes care of me by always being available to talk to, giving guidance (sometimes whether I want it or not lol) and he even tried to get a posting on Fetlife taken down when it talked about the guy who assaulted me. (He wanted to get it down before I saw it, but I had already seen it. No matter. But I’m really touched that he would do that for me, or at least try to.) So while D/s is about consensual inequality, there’s something in it for both the Dom and the sub. The sub just ends up doing more chores. *grin*

More Coming on Command

Published on August 12, 2008 in bdsm, D/s, dom, orgasm on command, porn and sex. 1 Comment

Last night I went over to MasterDoc’s. We had dinner and watched a movie, pretty normal stuff. Then he put porn on the laptop and that was the start of something really hot. We watched bdsm porn. This German porn actress was doing her first bdsm porn scene (I think). A sadistic English guy tortured her nipples, spanked her, flogged her, all while her arms were tied behind her back. Then she got retied into this bent over position and he fucked her, vaginally and anally. I’m drawing a blank on how the scene ended, as by that time I was being fucked silly by MasterDoc.

While warming up, we both watched the porn, and he let me use my bullet vibe. I was hot and wet in no time. It really is amazing how much hotter I get watching bdsm porn than regular porn. I was so on the edge of coming, and we hadn’t even started yet. I ached to be fucked while keeping myself warm. I got so wildly turned on imagining myself in the actress’ place.

He had me get on my hands and knees and he fucked me from behind. My job was to make sure the laptop didn’t go into screensaver mode – now being fucked hard while being incredibly turned on is not conducive to keeping an eye on a laptop. I would be clenching my eyes shut, moaning, begging to come when suddenly MasterDoc would smack my ass and remind me of my job. I tried watching the porn so I could notice when the screensaver came on, but I would always get distracted by the tingling in my cunt. He spanked my ass intermittently and would thrust hard for a while until I was a blithering, begging mess, then slow down slightly. He kept me on the edge, something he’s gotten frighteningly good at. I don’t know if I have ever begged as hard to come as I did last night. Maybe that other time recently when he really worked me over. I was desperate to come. I cannot convey to you how my body felt – tingling, tense, dying for release. While it was torture it all felt so good at the same time. I tell you, who needs drugs when you’ve got sex?

He fucked me for a while, til I was out of breath and off in another world. We lay down next to each other and I caught my breath. He reached over and started playing with my clit. He commented on how he hasn’t really paid a lot of attention to stimulating my clit. (I really enjoy penetration, although obviously from my love of the bullet vibe on my clit I like clitoral stimulation as well. Heck, I just like stimulation.) He played with my clit, getting me even more worked up than I was before. Eventually, he told me to come and of course I came on command. I moaned and screamed (he had to tell me more than once to shut up). He alternated fingers inside me and fingers on my clit. I don’t know exactly how long I came but it was good and long. I was just speechless afterwards. (But soon found my voice to say, “Thank you, Sir.”)

Words cannot describe how amazingly good I felt. I am at a loss to adequately describe it so you, the reader, can feel what I felt. We lay close together and I felt both satisfied and ready for more. After a bit of a break, we ended up kissing. I still yearned for him so I kissed back passionately. We made out for a while and I got more and more turned on. After a little while of making out, he puts his hand in my hair, grabs a handful and says, “I want you,” pause for another kiss, “to come now.” Oh my god. My entire body spasmed and I had an incredible orgasm purely from the sound of his voice and the feel of his hand in my hair. He held me as I came, telling me what a good girl I am. I came for a while, probably only seconds when it comes down to it, but it wasn’t a quick little orgasm. Guys, if you can get a woman into that state you can get her to do anything. I thanked my lucky stars that I had met MasterDoc.

He hadn’t come yet, so he had me play with his ass while he stroked himself and watched the porn some more. I kneaded his ass cheeks as his breathing got shorter. It seemed like he was on the edge for a moment or two. He came and I stupidly stopped playing with his ass. I really should know better, he likes me to continue doing it for a little while even after he’s come. He had me wipe up the come, get us some drinks of water and we gradually wound down until it was bedtime. We cuddled for a while then went off to sleep.

I think this whole coming on command thing proves the point that the brain is the largest sex organ in the human. He is so good at getting inside my head, at knowing what turns me on, at getting me into a desperate state physically and mentally. I can’t wait for the next time.

The US Can Be Religiously Oppressive, Too

Published on August 12, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I debated putting this post up. After all, I don’t really know Catalina, we’ve only become friendly recently online. But then I read an article about the insanely silly oppression going on in Saudi Arabia in the name of morality, and I realized that we like to think, “Oh those poor middle easterners, that would never happen here.” But religious nuts (and just nuts of the general variety) will try to impose their system of morality on people in every country. A “christian” educator is trying to prevent Catalina’s daughter from continuing on at the school where she used to work because of what Catalina gets up to (things like sex work, sex blogs, blah blah blah, if it’s sex these nuts don’t like it). It’s bad enough that someone can’t focus their energies on sexuality without losing their job, but for their child to lose out on an education at the school where she’s been going is just wrong. I’m going to send a little off to help and here’s the scoop for those of you who would like to know more. I also decided to put it up because Catalina has gone through the trouble of setting up a raffle – so it’s not just asking for money, it’s a charity raffle and you KNOW you’ve given money to enough of those – why not one for one in our community?

A Moment of Schadenfreude

Published on August 10, 2008 in assault and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

I never thought this day would come. Finally, FINALLY people are speaking out about how fucked up the guy who assaulted me is. (Here, here, here and here.) I was so alone right after the assault as no one would call this guy on his fucked up behavior. (No one in the local scene anyway. I had lots of wonderful support from friends on the internets and outside the scene. Yes, I’m talking about you Curmudgeony, as well as Davey and others. I appreciate you all.) People made excuses for him, someone was even mean enough to tell me I was crazy (this was one of his girlfriends). I suffered greatly because I refused to shut up about what this guy did to me. I was too afraid to name him at the time, but I realize now that it took a lot of strength to keep talking publicly even when he was angry with the reaction my blog readers were giving his actions and he was treating me like shit behind the scenes. Finally his alcoholism is being discussed. Finally the carefully constructed persona is coming down. Maybe now someone will acknowledge what he did to me.

A friend from that time wrote me yesterday, pretty much apologizing for not sticking up for me more. I felt so happy to hear from her. Losing her friendship in the aftermath of the assault was something I was very sad about. She always acknowledged what he did was wrong, but like most people she hesitated to be really vocal about what happened. It feels really good to reconnect with her and let bygones be bygones. I’m glad that there’s something he took from me (her friendship) that I’ve now gotten back. In seeing his downfall, I also feel like some of the power he had over me has been taken back as well. I feel like I’ve gotten a part of myself back. As I’ve told S., I’d like to spend some time alone today with that part I’ve gotten back, so I can appreciate it and celebrate it.

Schadenfreude is what they call it. I feel an overwhelming sense of schadenfreude. (Leave it to my German ancestors to come up with a word that means taking pleasure in someone else’s pain.) I feel so happy today, happier than I’ve been in a long time. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel like a huge amount of healing has happened for me in just one day. I feel like crying with relief. Three plus years of suffering somewhat silently has ended.

I believe in karma now. And as they say, karma’s a bitch, Jefferson. While in therapy to deal with the assault my therapist pointed out that alcoholics step over the line over and over again, and that what he did to me was not the only time he’d step over the line. That truth is clear to me now.

Blogs, Blogs, Blogs

Published on August 8, 2008 in blogs. 0 Comments

I’m discovering new and wonderful sex blogs all the time over at bestsexbloggers.com. I’ve added them to my feed reader as well as my blogroll here. I may weed (librarian term) through the blogroll soon to remove some people who don’t post or who I’m just not into reading. It feels nice to be part of the blogging community again. I missed it but didn’t realize I missed it.

The Shy Exhibitionist

Published on August 7, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I wrote up a fantasy and posted it to Best Sex Bloggers. Go have a look.

Happy HNT!

Published on August 7, 2008 in hnt. 0 Comments

Here’s my first ever Half-Nekkid Thursday post. Don’t know if I’ll participate every week, but I dug this photo up to share with you all. I tried getting this posted before work this morning but I had trouble with the link to HNT. *sigh* I really need a crash course in wordpress. I’m usually able to figure these things out on my own quite well but I feel like a dummy where WP is concerned. Took me the longest time to get the HNT icon up and hyperlinked properly.

Bestsexbloggers.com

Published on August 6, 2008 in best sex bloggers. 0 Comments

I can’t believe I’ve been remiss in properly announcing this. I have been invited to be part of Catalina’s latest project (that woman has so many blogs I can’t keep track, I don’t know how she juggles so many things in her life) – bestsexbloggers.com. Whoo hoo! I posted a cross post from here and need to think up something original to put there, as that’s part of the deal – cross post at least twice a month and something original once a month. Again, I’m open to ideas folks. I’ve not been in a happy frame of mind this evening (reading my old blog doesn’t help although I did get some fond memories revived. I archived all of the original Kinky Librarian on my computer) so sex blogging isn’t tops of my list tonight. Ideas! I need ideas. I need inspiration. I need to get out of this funk.

Anyway, while I look for something to write, loads of great sex bloggers have been posting at bestsexbloggers.com. Go have a read.

Interlude

Published on August 6, 2008 in D/s. 1 Comment

I’m going to be seeing very little of MasterDoc over the next few weeks as he’s working crazy hours and of course has other obligations like his daughter and all his other girlfriends. (I tease, he’s only dating three women actively.) I got to spend time with him last night but there’s nothing to titillate you readers with as we merely cleaned his apartment (or worked towards that goal anyway) and had a little bit of cuddle time before bed. Being someone’s submissive isn’t all fun and games. But you know, I don’t need fun and games all the time. I was just so happy to get some unexpected time with MasterDoc. I was genuinely pleased to help him clean. Who would have thought that my lazy ass would say that?

So if anyone has any ideas for me to blog about in the interim, please leave a comment. Any questions? I’m sure I’ll come up with something, but writing about my actual experiences is my favorite part.

More porn hotness

Published on August 4, 2008 in bdsm and porn. 1 Comment

Someone kindly messaged me on FetLife today with links to go with that one MasterDoc and I found so hot on pornhub. One is the full video that was excerpted on pornhub, the other is another video with the same actress.