Comments on: Submission, Trust, and Really Letting Someone In http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/index.php/2008/08/21/submission-trust-and-really-letting-someone-in/ Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:31:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: pantherapardus http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/index.php/2008/08/21/submission-trust-and-really-letting-someone-in/comment-page-1/#comment-114 pantherapardus Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:05:22 +0000 http://www.kinkylibrarian.net/?p=278#comment-114 See, at this point, I'm a playtime bottom (or top, depending on the day). It's not even necessarily sex, but just play... I'm an incredibly private person. That said, I do know that some people have this agreement with their Doms. Now: how deep is your relationship with this gentleman? Is this something you've discussed (before this incident)? I, personally, would balk at this. I can't see myself giving all aspects of myself to someone else, but I'm also not a real through and through submissive. Sit down and talk to him about this, and about your needs. Between the two of you, you should be able to come to an agreement. Like any other relationship, communication is key...and so very very hard. See, at this point, I’m a playtime bottom (or top, depending on the day). It’s not even necessarily sex, but just play…

I’m an incredibly private person. That said, I do know that some people have this agreement with their Doms.

Now: how deep is your relationship with this gentleman? Is this something you’ve discussed (before this incident)?

I, personally, would balk at this. I can’t see myself giving all aspects of myself to someone else, but I’m also not a real through and through submissive.

Sit down and talk to him about this, and about your needs. Between the two of you, you should be able to come to an agreement. Like any other relationship, communication is key…and so very very hard.

]]> By: Lilly http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/index.php/2008/08/21/submission-trust-and-really-letting-someone-in/comment-page-1/#comment-113 Lilly Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:14:14 +0000 http://www.kinkylibrarian.net/?p=278#comment-113 I really struggled with similar things with R for a bit. He and I likely will never be able to take things quite to the level as you and MasterDoc, but I bucked at the first sign of the submission going outside sex. I got offended. I did not understand. I felt...well..all sorts of bad things. After I calmed down and we actually *talked* properly, I saw everything in a different way. I trust him. He knows me well. Where he leads, I follow. I really struggled with similar things with R for a bit. He and I likely will never be able to take things quite to the level as you and MasterDoc, but I bucked at the first sign of the submission going outside sex. I got offended. I did not understand. I felt…well..all sorts of bad things.

After I calmed down and we actually *talked* properly, I saw everything in a different way. I trust him. He knows me well. Where he leads, I follow.

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