I’ve worried sometimes if by not “coming out” with a public declaration to co-workers that my marriage is an open one or that I am a kinkster is somehow dishonest, because people presuppose that a married co-worker is monogamous and vanilla. But as against that, a specific disclosure without there being some request would seem to impose on one’s co-workers personal information that they might not really care to know. Maybe like MasterDoc says, one day there won’t be presumptions. I work in a pretty liberated office and don’t “pretend,” … mostly people don’t ask and I know some have wondered and asked co-workers, who is the woman in the other picture on the desk, that’s just gone up recently, a different woman than the wedding picture.

My view is if you don’t specifically ask ME, I’m not going to tell you merely because I know you’re curious and asked someone else about it. Anyway, very thoughtful post! (and it fun to embrace something that is different than the norm of how one is perceived).