MasterDoc and I did a show for the first time in a while. I was a little surprised because his back is still bothering him. But we had a guest over yesterday afternoon, and of course I didn’t know about it until just before.
My pain tolerance was a bit low, which of course is a bad thing when he’s Domming me in front of an audience. He spanked me a whole lot, and had me look the guy in the eye. It’s really hard for me to look people in the eye while I’m being used. I don’t know that I find the use humiliating so much as having to make eye contact during it. I have to struggle to look people in the eye when he tells me to. It seems so intimate in a way – locking eyes with someone. I don’t feel comfortable doing it with someone I’m not already comfortable with. I tend to be low on eye contact in social situations as well. On the other end of the spectrum, when we’re playing in front of an audience I frequently look MasterDoc in the eye as it makes me feel more relaxed and comfortably under his control. I feel safer and more secure when I make eye contact with him.
He had me show this man my cunt at various stages. That was humiliating. But then in some small way I get off on humiliation, so mind you this isn’t really a complaint. But I’ve found that even when you get off on humiliation or pain the things being done to you do feel humiliating or painful. It’s just that you get wet from it at the same time. It’s strange. I am a strange kinky girl. He had me put my leg up on the arm of the chair where the man was sitting and spread my cunt wide for him to see. I found myself looking at MasterDoc as much as possible as it can be uncomfortable having some strange man closely inspect your bits and like I said before, it’s grounding for me to look at him.
He had me get myself worked up with a toy (my bullet vibe, I’ve now bought an extra one so I can keep it at MasterDoc’s and have one at home and one at his place). They both watched while I played with myself. I was given permission to come and I came hard. (I really need to come up with another phrase other than “I came hard” I use it waaaay too much. Any ideas?)
He gave me a good spanking with various implements, which hurt, and then had me show my cunt to the man again. By this time I was wet. He had me suck his cock off and on during the show and that was comforting when I didn’t have to make eye contact with the man. But of course he told me to look at the man while I sucked cock, look at him and pretend I’m in a porn movie and he’s the camera. My eyes kept wandering away from the man’s face. I kept struggling to keep myself looking at him.
MasterDoc spanked me some more and decided to fuck me. At one point he asked the man for his input on which hole to fuck and he voted for the ass, but in the end we ended up with vaginal fucking. When my head’s down and ass is up I can lose myself in the fucking and not feel so self conscious. It’s funny, I really do like exhibitionism, but sometimes I can feel shy or embarrassed while doing it. But I still like doing it.
Yesterday is notable as the first time my ass blistered from a spanking. According to MasterDoc there were little blisters on my ass right after. They faded pretty quickly, as they were gone a few hours later when we looked again. Today my ass is bruised and sore and I kept thinking about being spanked all day whenever I sat down. *grin*
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