I see submission as a journey… There’s always new things you discover about yourself. I’ve come to realize that I have a hard time consistently addressing MasterDoc as “Sir.” While it’s awkward to end everything you say with “Sir” I don’t think that awkwardness is the main reason. He’s often very lenient with protocol, but when he does decide I should stick to protocol I have a hard time doing it. I think part of it is that it’s kinda humiliating to have to address someone with respect every single time. It definitely puts you at a lower place than them. Every time I have to say “Sir” I’m reminded that I’m the submissive. (You’d think I’d jump on something that makes me feel like that, but it’s not always easy being sub to someone.) Sometimes it’s hard to get the word to come out. I think it also runs contrary to the way I was raised (not saying it’s not good to be respectful, after all my mother could have been loads more respectful of my father, it’s just not the example I was raised with).
So on Friday MasterDoc decided that I was to stick to protocol and I had a hard time of it. I think I ended up saying “Sorry, Sir” more often than anything else because I kept forgetting. By the end of the evening I was doing better, but it took a while and many reminders for me to get there. I’m definitely not a perfect sub, but then who is perfect? I have something to work on. Like I said, it’s a journey and every thing is a step along the path.
In the afternoon he decided to spank, flog and hot wax me. Unfortunately my pain tolerance was way down and every little thing hurt like crazy. He said he wasn’t even hitting me that hard but every strike hurt. I was moaning and whining a lot and thought I might start to cry. The idea of begging him to stop ran through my mind but ultimately I was able to stand what he dished out. It was definitely a challenge though. The wax stung and he commented that he could have used the really low melt candle my friend had at that party a few weeks before. I know that would have seemed hotter on Friday than it had that night at the party. Every little thing hurt. Sometimes my body is just so sensitive. After my butt was really sore and tender he had me roll over and he put my new nipple clamps (tweezer clamps) on my nipples. Again, I was really sensitive and as he pulled on the chain connecting them it hurt. He had me kneel again, and flogged me some more while the clamps were on. He had me sit up and he took the slapper to my nipples while the clamps were still on. Eventually, he had me lay on my back and he used the hitachi magic wand on me. It felt so good after all the pain and I moaned out a request to come. He got me right to the edge… and didn’t let me come. He said maybe later he’d let me.
We made dinner, my thighs stinging from some harsh slaps earlier. He had put my smartballs inside me at one point but unfortunately I didn’t feel them jiggle during spanking like I have before. He had me keep them in and I had them in all through making dinner and eating dinner. After dinner, I was allowed to take them out and we cuddled and relaxed for a bit.
MasterDoc was debating what to do with me next. He asked me if I wanted to be fucked or if I wanted to come. Of course that was an impossible question as I wanted both. I mean, it was really hard to choose one, I would have enjoyed each for various reasons. He made me choose, however, and I said I’d rather come. Of course, making this choice didn’t guarantee either. He had me suck his cock for a while and ultimately decided to fuck me. (Would I be allowed to come too?)
As he reached in the bag of condoms he found a female condom and decided we could use that. After all, he was out of water-based lube, and the female condom is made of polyurethane which can be used with oil based lubricants such as baby oil, which we used. I’m so used to using latex that I’ve very rarely ever used baby oil as a lubricant. (Safer sex lesson of the day: you can’t use oil-based lubricants with latex – it creates small holes in the latex. I used to think this is common knowledge until the time I was playing with my couple and they used baby oil on me and then thought the guy could have sex with me using a condom. Right. I set them straight.) The oil is more viscous than water-based lube. It felt nice. I wasn’t too keen on the female condom as the one time I had used one before I didn’t feel much of anything. This time, even though sensation was less than with a male condom, I still managed to enjoy it.
He fucked me on top and his hands caught on my hair as he positioned them on the bed, so I couldn’t move my head from side to side. I got really turned on. I could feel the outer ring of the condom rub up against my labia and clit. He fucked me like that for a little while, then we changed positions so that I was kneeling on the edge of the bed. Again, the outer ring rubbed against my clit and added to the sensations I was feeling. I wanted to come so badly. We stopped for a bit and when we resumed he was on top again. Now, I know he let me come at one point but as I write this I can’t remember if it was when he was on top or behind. So I was a lucky girl and I got fucked and I was allowed to come.
I slept well that night, and got up early for work the next morning.
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