Comments on: Feminism and Submission http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/ Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:31:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Anonymous http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/comment-page-1/#comment-58 Anonymous Wed, 14 May 2008 13:02:00 +0000 http://www.kinkylibrarian.net/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/#comment-58 hi libesgirl ... i saw this similar blog entry and wanted to share... im not plugging for this other woman's blog, just read it recently and it totally reminded me of what you wrote in this entry, so wanted to share w you even if you don't post it<br/><br/>http://essinem.blogspot.com/2007/10/being-feminist-in-sex-industry.html<br/><br/>-John (hesitant.adventurous) hi libesgirl … i saw this similar blog entry and wanted to share… im not plugging for this other woman’s blog, just read it recently and it totally reminded me of what you wrote in this entry, so wanted to share w you even if you don’t post it

http://essinem.blogspot.com/2007/10/being-feminist-in-sex-industry.html

-John (hesitant.adventurous)

]]> By: Judith http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/comment-page-1/#comment-56 Judith Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:34:00 +0000 http://www.kinkylibrarian.net/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/#comment-56 Well, I'm outing myself here, in a way. I haven't absolutely hidden this part of me but neither have I chatted about it.<br/><br/>I spent some years as a submissive. I left that "life" for reasons not particularly relevant to this discussion. I found, as you do, that submmission actually makes you stronger. This is especially true if you are a "total submissive", a person who gives all decisions to the Dom, does not use safe words but instead simply trusts. To me the use of safe words indicates a lack of trust. A good Dom will be sensitive to his sub's needs and thresholds and will not do what will actually harm her (or him), psychologically.<br/><br/>I found that when I went to work after a night of submission I felt a glow of strength. In fact, it was my ability to submit that led to my breaking free of a life of fear of heights. <br/><br/>I believe, in fact, it takes a strong person to be a submissive. Doms, as a rule, are not interested in doormats. Where's the challenge? <br/><br/>And for me, too, submission gets me hot. What can I say? It all works together and I do not see submission and feminism in any way as incompatible.<br/><br/>There is one other aspect of this type relationship that I really craved, needed, loved. That was the simply honesty of it. I always knew where I was. No bizarre manipulation, no reading between the lines. Well, I’m outing myself here, in a way. I haven’t absolutely hidden this part of me but neither have I chatted about it.

I spent some years as a submissive. I left that “life” for reasons not particularly relevant to this discussion. I found, as you do, that submmission actually makes you stronger. This is especially true if you are a “total submissive”, a person who gives all decisions to the Dom, does not use safe words but instead simply trusts. To me the use of safe words indicates a lack of trust. A good Dom will be sensitive to his sub’s needs and thresholds and will not do what will actually harm her (or him), psychologically.

I found that when I went to work after a night of submission I felt a glow of strength. In fact, it was my ability to submit that led to my breaking free of a life of fear of heights.

I believe, in fact, it takes a strong person to be a submissive. Doms, as a rule, are not interested in doormats. Where’s the challenge?

And for me, too, submission gets me hot. What can I say? It all works together and I do not see submission and feminism in any way as incompatible.

There is one other aspect of this type relationship that I really craved, needed, loved. That was the simply honesty of it. I always knew where I was. No bizarre manipulation, no reading between the lines.

]]> By: hesitant.adventurous http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/comment-page-1/#comment-50 hesitant.adventurous Thu, 10 Apr 2008 16:50:00 +0000 http://www.kinkylibrarian.net/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/#comment-50 really really well reasoned and expressed. :)<br/><br/>it would be counter-feminist to refrain from submission "because you are a woman" ... the point is to be able to choose what you want and love, what gives you fulfillment and makes you whole... whether that is choosing to be a corporate executive, a construction worker, a stay-at-home parent, a Domme, a submissive, non-kinky, polyamorous, monogamous, homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, etc. bravo :) really really well reasoned and expressed. :)

it would be counter-feminist to refrain from submission “because you are a woman” … the point is to be able to choose what you want and love, what gives you fulfillment and makes you whole… whether that is choosing to be a corporate executive, a construction worker, a stay-at-home parent, a Domme, a submissive, non-kinky, polyamorous, monogamous, homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, etc. bravo :)

]]> By: Librarian Babe http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/comment-page-1/#comment-48 Librarian Babe Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:32:00 +0000 http://www.kinkylibrarian.net/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/#comment-48 Well as we discussed elsewhere, the words "lesser" and "pretending" were perhaps unfortunate choices for words. Well as we discussed elsewhere, the words “lesser” and “pretending” were perhaps unfortunate choices for words.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/comment-page-1/#comment-47 Anonymous Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:40:00 +0000 http://www.kinkylibrarian.net/index.php/2008/04/08/feminism-and-submission/#comment-47 And can you be a feminist dom. I certainly think so. FOr me the difference betweena dom and a patriarcical asshole is that a dom recognizes that being sub or dom(me) is NOT a sex-linked trait; that for women to be dommes is just as "natural" as men being doms. <br/>One final point though. On a theoretical basis I wonder about this:<br/>Being a sub doesn't mean I'm a lesser human being. It just means I get off on pretending I'm lesser and giving over control to another person. I can still be a feminist and get horny being a sub.<br/><br/>I really don't think that "pretending" should be the key component. WITHIN a D/S relationship, though nowhere else, a submissive should feel, at least to some extent and in some manner, that she IS a "lesser human being". If it is TOTALLY about pretending then that sub has the wrong dom. And can you be a feminist dom. I certainly think so. FOr me the difference betweena dom and a patriarcical asshole is that a dom recognizes that being sub or dom(me) is NOT a sex-linked trait; that for women to be dommes is just as “natural” as men being doms.
One final point though. On a theoretical basis I wonder about this:
Being a sub doesn’t mean I’m a lesser human being. It just means I get off on pretending I’m lesser and giving over control to another person. I can still be a feminist and get horny being a sub.

I really don’t think that “pretending” should be the key component. WITHIN a D/S relationship, though nowhere else, a submissive should feel, at least to some extent and in some manner, that she IS a “lesser human being”. If it is TOTALLY about pretending then that sub has the wrong dom.

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