Amazingly, sometimes sex isn’t the foremost thing on my mind. Lately I’ve been thinking about religion, politics, tv shows, making latkes for dinner tonight, setting up the Christmas tree. I’m essentially an atheist who has some belief in supernatural phenomena. I celebrate Christmas as a cultural holiday because it’s what I’ve always celebrated. Davey and I had latkes recently in honor of Hanukkah even though we’re both atheistic former christians (because they’re yummy). I’m all for honoring all cultures, as long as it’s not in a beat somebody about the head and make them believe sort of way. I was bored at work the other day and I spent some time at beliefnet.com trying to find out what exactly my belief system would be called. Apparently they peg me as a Unitarian, but of course everyone who has wacky beliefs that don’t fit any other system would be welcomed at the Unitarian congregation. I think secular humanism is a pretty good description, although I do believe that there’s a spiritual side of life, an unseen. I just don’t believe in one all-powerful being running the show.
Of course none of this is going to be as interesting to you as the fact that last night I had a threesome with Davey and D.S. But although I seem like I’m always wet and ready, sometimes I’m just not into the sex. I mean, I had a good time but I was frustrated with myself – I wasn’t feeling particularly horny. I don’t know why I didn’t feel horny, here I had two hot guys who I absolutely adore and feel very comfortable with all eager to have a threesome with me, and I was just like “meh.” Trust me, this does not reflect on the attractiveness of the two men. I should have been revved up. But I suppose even major sluts need a break sometimes. Besides, the anger over the assault has resurfaced for me lately. That might have been part of my problem.
Still, it was hot and I did manage to come once or twice, and it felt really good to have D.S.’s tongue on my clit while his fingers massaged my g-spot from inside. It felt good to have Davey fuck me from behind while I went down on D.S. And in the end, everybody got off. I’m just disappointed that I wasn’t the sex goddess I like to make myself out to be. I suppose I’m only human.
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