It’s been a busy week so I’m just now getting to write down my experiences on Tuesday night. I think I’ve mentioned that MasterDoc and I were looking for a woman to join us in a threesome, and we’ve been talking to a few women. On Tuesday we met the first of these women. M. was a brave girl and came to meet us at MasterDoc’s apartment. (I would insist on meeting someone in public first but she just went for it.) He picked her up at the subway and dropped her off at his place, heading off to search for parking. I let her in and greeted her. We sat talking, along with MasterDoc’s rommate, until he got in.
M. is 23, very cute and curvy in all the right places. I was expected to be aggressive with her, but I’m total crap at being aggressive, particularly with women. I find that because of things that have happened to me non-consensually I’m extremely fearful of doing anything that might upset a woman. I realize it’s not totally rational but it’s a very deep fear I have. I never want to be responsible for a woman feeling violated or even just pressured. I don’t worry so much about men. Also I’ve recently noticed that I have a tendency to be not just submissive, but rather passive with people who are new. I was quite passive sexually when I started seeing MasterDoc, and again this other night with M. It’s curious. I think I understand why I’m this way, but I don’t know how to overcome it. I’d much rather let someone else take the lead and get things moving. I think part of it is a fear of being rejected, part of it is from having been assaulted and raped, part of it is a sort of performance anxiety.
We had dinner and then talked, sitting close on the sofa in the living room. M. let her leg lay to the side and rest against mine. I tentatively put my hand on her thigh and occasionally stroked – hardly being aggressive like I was supposed to be. I hadn’t talked to her directly about bdsm but I gathered shortly before we arranged to meet her that she and MasterDoc had discussed it and that there was to be a bdsm element to the evening. I knew that he was going to focus on her, and I was fine with that. I felt a little touch of relief to be the one watching someone get her thighs roughly slapped instead of being the one in pain. I enjoyed watching, and got prompted to join in various times. I was enthusiastic when it came to sucking on her nipples (she has lovely full breasts) but hesitant when it came to doing anything new. She kissed softly in that way that women do and I really enjoyed kissing her.
Things gradually got started, a little demonstration of flogging my butt here, a shirt taken off there, nipples sucked, damp panties caressed. She kept closing her eyes so MasterDoc asked if she’d like the blindfold. She said yes and so I put it on her. MasterDoc decided to tie her down on the floor. I set up the mats and the restraints and got her secured. “You’re so gentle,” she remarked as I put a cuff on her wrist. I figured my gentleness might be a nice contrast to how rough she was going to be treated.
While I was setting everything up, MasterDoc put the TENS leads on her breasts. Unfortunately the battery was dying (and the leads have been used a few times) so M. mostly giggled as the electrical impulses tickled her (either that or she’s made of much stronger stuff than I am. lol) I think MasterDoc was a bit disappointed that the TENS unit wasn’t working up to capacity. He turned to hot candle wax, dripping it over her breasts, tummy, that really sensitive spot where hip meets thigh. She pulled at the restraints as the hot wax stung. He slapped her thighs as well and they turned bright red like mine do. He instructed me to get the hitatchi magic wand and he set to work using it on her clit. I stroked her top half and played with her nipples while he teased her clit with the wand. He had to nudge me to kiss and nibble on her neck. (Duh, why didn’t I think of that?) He asked me to take the wand as he slid his agile fingers inside her. I struggled to hold the wand in place on her clit as he fingered her well. She moaned and writhed, really pulling at the restraints. She had told MasterDoc at one point that she’s never had an orgasm, so of course we were both hoping that maybe she’d have her first that night. While she sounded like she was having a really good time, MasterDoc says that he doesn’t think she came. Pity.
He gave her a break after this and I released her from the restraints. I stroked and cuddled her a bit and got water for everyone. Next MasterDoc had me lie on the mat and instructed M. to finger me. I was already pretty wet and it was nice to be rewarded with some attention. She did well with her fingers, really getting me hot. I was so wet it was sloshing slightly and MasterDoc commented on this from his place on the sofa, stroking his cock. He asked if I wanted to get fucked and of course I replied, “Yes Sir.”
“Yes, Sir, what?”
“Yes, Sir, please I want you to fuck me.”
He asked M. if she thought I deserved to get fucked and she commented on how I was moving myself up and down on her finger and that I clearly wanted it bad. MasterDoc made me beg for a bit, which I gladly did, hoping he’d decide to fuck me. He decided to pay me some attention and told me to get on my knees with my ass in the air. He took me from behind and M. stroked my back and shoulders while he did. He fucked me really hard and I loved every second of it. One thing that was really hot was while he was fucking me, he got her bent over me and I could hear him slapping her ass. He let me come and I was moaning, grunting, screaming as I came.
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