I’m still recovering from my gum grafting (and I suspect it didn’t “take” which leaves me back at square one). I’m working tomorrow (sixth day this week). And I still haven’t heard from the Latina. (Damn good thing I didn’t write back saying I’d take her up on her offer to hang out tomorrow… I’d still be hanging – again.) I think I’m pretty much over her; I’m just waiting to see her eventual response to my email. I’m not sure I even want a response at this point. It’s shame because she has a lot of good qualities, but being flaky and inconsiderate are high on my list of things I can’t tolerate.
And so yet again I’m frustrated in my attempts to date a woman. I think for the moment I’m swearing off women. I should change all my polyamorous dating profiles to say I’m only looking to meet men for now. Maybe then a woman worth spending time on would come along. Bah. I give up.
With men at least I usually know what’s going on. Like with the Irishman – I think it’s pretty clear that he’s just looking to get laid, and I haven’t ever really believed his assertion that he’s in an open marriage – but I know what the deal is, even without him being honest about it, and I can make my decision to shag him or not accordingly. As of right now I’m planning on shagging him when I’m next off from work on a weekday. I’m not entirely sure why I’m planning to do it either. I think maybe I just want to be wantonly sexual again – fuck having a connection with someone. I just want to enjoy sex for sex’s sake. I’m not entirely convinced that this encounter will bring that but I think that’s why I’m going forward with it despite reservations. I’m just a bit annoyed with him because he’s clearly not been totally honest with me (which I construe to mean he thinks I’m stupid enough to believe lies) and what’s a guy doing looking to meet someone on a polyamory site when all he’s really looking for is sex? Go use the myriad swingers sites out there!
I feel like a cynical bitch because I figure I can just fuck him the once and if it’s not as hot as I hope it will be then I can just tell him to take a hike. We do have sexual chemistry though, so who knows. I wander back and forth between being annoyed with him and being turned on by him. It all makes me appreciate Davey even more because I know what I get from him – he’s honest, he’s communicative. I really lucked out meeting him, because so many people are just assholes.
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