I had lunch with the Irish guy again, where else, in an Irish pub in the city. We both indulged in fish and chips and a couple of pints of beer and a considerable amount of flirting. I’ve decided he’s definitely shaggable. He has the right balance of being a nice guy and a pervert. I like nice guy perverts. They’re the best kind of perverts. And the best kind of nice guys.
Physically I haven’t gotten past a couple of pecks on the lips, one at the end of the first date and one at the end of this one, but I’m keen to move it to the next level. I’ve sent him a message suggesting that we get together somewhere private next time. “*nudge nudge wink wink* Say no more!” (The Monty Python fans will get the reference.)
So the current tally – one nice guy pervert Irishman who I intend to shag, a cute Latina who I finally heard back from and still sounds promising and last night I had a really pleasant date with a nice guy who’s in an open marriage, who I hope to see again and get to know better.
I’m wildly horny this afternoon. I can’t wait until Davey gets home from work. (In fact, I started without him!) I feel like the “old me” today. Confident, secure, safe and very, very sexy. It’s a good feeling. I hope it continues.
I’m ticked off that I live in a society where it’s considered okay to discuss Kari Byron’s (of MythBusters) bra size and imagined boob job on imdb message boards. You’d NEVER see a thread on the bulge in any of the guys’ pants. Oh no, being a piece of meat is reserved for women. Helps keep those wimmin’ folk in their place, see.
Now I’ll admit, I’ve noticed Kari myself as she’s smart and cute, but c’mon if you’re only watching the show to check out her tits, you need a life. And if you think it’s okay to talk about her body to the exclusion of all else, you need a fucking brain.
Klein Sexual Orientation Grid
I scored an average of 2.67
| Heterosexual |
Bisexual |
Homosexual |
Meaning
This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:
0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more
than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally
heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual
Summary
The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person’s sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person’s lifespan. While a person’s number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like “homosexual”, “heterosexual”, and “bisexual” need not be the only three options available to us.
Take the quiz
The bar above doesn’t seem to show up properly on my computer – just go by the numbers – 2.67 on the Klein Scale. When I’ve done the Klein Scale before I’ve gotten a similar score – just a wee bit on the hetero side of bisexual.
let’s go have sex.” Those are the 11 words I spoke tonight that nearly got Davey to start blogging again. Yes, he realizes he’s a lucky bastard. *grin* Hey, nothing good was on tv and I was bored. So what better to do than go have sex? Boredom was chased away.
So I’m waiting for the big snowstorm we’re supposedly having. And waiting. A little snow fell earlier but there’s nothing going on now. I’ll keep hoping for a snow day, however, as freezing rain is supposed to be part of this storm. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
let’s go have sex.” Those are the 11 words I spoke tonight that nearly got Davey to start blogging again. Yes, he realizes he’s a lucky bastard. *grin* Hey, nothing good was on tv and I was bored. So what better to do than go have sex? Boredom was chased away.
So I’m waiting for the big snowstorm we’re supposedly having. And waiting. A little snow fell earlier but there’s nothing going on now. I’ll keep hoping for a snow day, however, as freezing rain is supposed to be part of this storm. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
I’m planning on deleting my old kinky librarian email address on yahoo, so I went through some old emails and contacted a few people who used to be readers. I wonder if this new blog would be of interest to former readers. Time will tell. I really liked having regular readers who appreciated my writing and sent kind emails from time to time.
Reading through the old emails (as I’m a digital packrat and there are still many in my inbox) reminded me of how much support I received after the assault a couple of years ago. That support was a tremendous help as I went through a very difficult time. Ultimately, I needed to stop blogging for a while to heal, but I really appreciated my supportive readers. Oh and if anyone still wants to kick the guy in the balls for me, I’ll gladly point you in his direction.
While I’m getting back to my old self (two years later…) and dating again (and possibly even fucking at some point in the future) I’m still haunted by the assault. I find myself reluctant to fool around with Davey sometimes, and it’s nothing to do with him and everything to do with being a little freaked out by sexual contact still. Once we get started it’s great, and I’m glad I’m at that point after a lot of hard work in therapy, but I still find myself shying away from sexual contact with men.
I hate this.
I hate that I’m still so affected by this. I hate that the dickwad who assaulted me only has karma to sort him out (hopefully). If I believed in hell, I’d hope there’s a special place in it for alcoholic assholes who ignore requests to stop hurting people. I hate that nearly two years later this is still prominent enough in my mind for me to still talk about it.
For the guy who assaulted me, and the guy who earlier on had raped me, I hope there’s a hell and that the flames are extra hot for them. Either that or they get a taste of their own medicine.
Angry? Me? Nah.
The lesbian looking only for sex turned out to be super-butch and just not my type. I just sent her a kindly email letting her know this. I hope she takes it well. I hate rejecting people but I try to keep in mind how I prefer being rejected and act accordingly. Avoiding the point only ends up hurting people. When I was rejected by the cute librarian a few months ago she was so kind about it that I was able to accept it and move on. Of course, not everyone is me. We’ll see how it goes. I apologized for the attraction not being there (not even remotely, to tell you all the truth!) and mentioned how attraction is one of those funny things that’s either there or not. I had a sinking feeling that a heavily tattooed white lesbian from New Jersey might look as she looks, and I was right. She seems like a cool enough person, just not my type. And if we’re talking about getting together for the purpose of fucking, then I need to feel attracted. End of story.
I haven’t heard back from the cute Latina. I’m not fretting yet as our meeting seemed to go well, and she ended up kissing me on the cheek goodbye that night (which might have been aimed for my lips but as I wasn’t expecting a kiss my head averted for a hug) and it’s typical to not hear from her for periods of time. *sigh* I just really like her and want to get things moving if they’re going in a positive direction. I don’t want to email her too much though, and be annoying or clingy. It’s been days since I asked her about her availability for the brunch she suggested we have. How long do I wait before I email her again? *sigh*
Today Davey and I went to Les Halles downtown for a yummy birthday lunch. (His birthday was this week.) He tried cassoulet and I made love to their roasted chicken sandwich. It’s more yummy than a chicken sandwich has a right to be. We topped the meal off with a shared creme brulee. Delish.
Then we visited the Lower East Side Tenement Museum, a museum I’ve meant to go to for quite a while. The lefty in me loves learning about the average person’s history. (In Manchester, England there’s a fabulous museum called The People’s Museum that’s dedicated to working class history in England. I loved that too.) Life in the tenements of lower New York was crowded, risky and must’ve been so noisy! Twenty families lived in the tenement building we visited – with three small rooms for each of them. Sometimes six or seven people to an apartment, with inadequate ventilation, little to no natural light and a coal stove to get warm by (in the earlier days, gas later on). I’m thankful that I’ve had the relatively privileged life I’ve had. Considering the health issues I’ve had throughout my life, I’m sure had I been born into a tenement building I’d have died at a young age. That would have been the end of my story,when I got pneumonia in first grade. I’m extremely thankful for my good fortune.
The latest development in my insanely busy dating life is that I had a lesbian respond to my ad on Planet Out since she’s seeking no-strings-attached sex. Oh my! So this week I will meet up with – 1. a guy in an open marriage, 2. the Irish guy I met up with once before, 3. a tattooed lesbian up for sex and 4. I hope I’ll get to see the cute Latina woman I met last week. When it rains it pours! We’ll see how all this pans out. In my extensive online dating experience few things get beyond meeting once or twice. *sigh* You already know where my hopes lie.
Damn. I’ve had a blogger account since forever and now Google has made me link it with a gmail account. Bugger all. I’m tired of Google harvesting so much information about me. I created a separate gmail just for this blog so as to keep it separate from my usual account. Feel free to email me at librarianbabe @ g mail . com. As it is I’m thinking about leaving gmail for another mail program as Google is so blatant about how much information they store about you – for instance, you can’t delete your old emails. Not off their servers you can’t. They may be gone from your inbox but they will hold onto it on their servers indefinitely. I’m just waiting for them to sell it to the government.
I’m open to suggestions for moderately private web-based email.
I’m bored and I don’t know what I feel like doing. I don’t really feel like doing anything and yet I’m bored doing nothing so that isn’t working. I think I’ll have another drink. I wish I had something interesting to blog about, but this is about the sum of my evening. It’s that time of the month and I feel cranky and blah. Not depressed, the medications have taken care of that side of things, but I’m feeling contrary and anti-social while longing to get emails from a few people I’m waiting for emails from. *sigh* I wonder if Davey would be up to some Trivial Pursuit. We haven’t played in ages.
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