I’m planning on deleting my old kinky librarian email address on yahoo, so I went through some old emails and contacted a few people who used to be readers. I wonder if this new blog would be of interest to former readers. Time will tell. I really liked having regular readers who appreciated my writing and sent kind emails from time to time.
Reading through the old emails (as I’m a digital packrat and there are still many in my inbox) reminded me of how much support I received after the assault a couple of years ago. That support was a tremendous help as I went through a very difficult time. Ultimately, I needed to stop blogging for a while to heal, but I really appreciated my supportive readers. Oh and if anyone still wants to kick the guy in the balls for me, I’ll gladly point you in his direction.
While I’m getting back to my old self (two years later…) and dating again (and possibly even fucking at some point in the future) I’m still haunted by the assault. I find myself reluctant to fool around with Davey sometimes, and it’s nothing to do with him and everything to do with being a little freaked out by sexual contact still. Once we get started it’s great, and I’m glad I’m at that point after a lot of hard work in therapy, but I still find myself shying away from sexual contact with men.
I hate this.
I hate that I’m still so affected by this. I hate that the dickwad who assaulted me only has karma to sort him out (hopefully). If I believed in hell, I’d hope there’s a special place in it for alcoholic assholes who ignore requests to stop hurting people. I hate that nearly two years later this is still prominent enough in my mind for me to still talk about it.
For the guy who assaulted me, and the guy who earlier on had raped me, I hope there’s a hell and that the flames are extra hot for them. Either that or they get a taste of their own medicine.
Angry? Me? Nah.
Karma’s gonna get him. You can be sure of that. And when it does, its gonna be a doozey.